Izinyathelo Eziyi-10 Zokukusiza Ukusuka Ebudlelwaneni Obunzima

U-Lord Alfred Tennyson wayeke wathi kungcono ukuthanda nokulahlekelwa kunokungabi sothandweni nhlobo. Uthando lungenza impilo yakho ibe yinhle kunawo wonke owake wayibona noma line isihogo somlilo nakuwe. Yile mfanelo embaxambili eyenza ingavimbeki. Kodwa akukho okubuhlungu njengenhliziyo ephukile. Uma uzele lapha ukuze uthole ukuthi ungasuka kanjani ebudlelwaneni obubucayi, lena yindawo efanele. 

Ngicwaninge kakhulu, ngafunda izincwadi eziningi ezidabukisayo, ngabona amafilimu amaningi adala izinyembezi, futhi ngathola nezinhliziyo zethu zophukile. Lolu hlu luqhamuke kanjalo ukuze lukusize uqhubeke ngemuva kokuhlukana nisathandana. 

Umbuzo lapha uwukuthi - kanjani ukusuka ebuhlotsheni obunzima? Ngiyaqonda ukuthi ubuhlungu benhliziyo bunzima kodwa ngiyazi ukuthi nawe ungumlweli. Ngingakusiza ufinyelele ezingeni lapho ungochwepheshe ukuthi ungasuka kanjani ebudlelwaneni obubucayi. Lolu hlu lusikisela kuphela; isenzo sangempela sezinto ezibonakalayo kufanele sithathwe nguwe. 

Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba sifinyelele kuleso sigaba, ake ngiqale ngokuvuma izono. Ngike ngaba nenhliziyo ephukile kanye futhi ngasebenzisa enye yalezi zinketho ukuze ngiqhubekele phambili ngokushesha. Ngethemba ukuthi ungaqagela ukuthi iyiphi ekupheleni kwayo. Kuze kube yileso sikhathi, gcina izinhliziyo zakho ziqinile ngoba lolu hlu luzobadonsela amanzi ngomsele. Futhi izophinde iphendule umbuzo - wokuthi ungaqhubeka kanjani ebuhlotsheni obunzima?

Ukwamukela Kanjani Ukuthi Ubudlelwano Buphelile Futhi Uqhubeke?

Ukwamukela ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buphelile kuyinto ebuhlungu. Phela iyona into ebingase ikugcine ezikhathini ezinzima. Kodwa ungakhathazeki. Lesi yisikhathi sokwakha kabusha ukuzethemba kwakho futhi ubheke uhlangothi olukhanyayo lwezinto. Zicabange uphakathi kwempilo yakho futhi uthathe izintambo ngesandla sakho. Uzofunda ukuqhubekela phambili ngokushesha futhi ngingakusiza ngalokho.

Khumbula ukugxila emandleni akho futhi ungabanaki ubuthakathaka bakho ngoba, ngalesi sikhathi, ingqondo yakho ijwayele ukukwenza uzizwe ungenalutho. Umqondo uyinto enelukuluku - uyakwazi ukuphulukisa kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo, ungakhinyabeza inqubekelaphambili ngokukukhumbuza njalo ubudlelwano obuhlulekile. Lesi simo sengqondo sizokusiza ukuthi ugcine u-positivity lapho yonke into ibhidlika eduze kwakho. Ngaleyo ndlela uthola ubudlelwano besikhathi eside.

Ungaqhubeka kanjani futhi ujabule? Lesi sihloko singakusiza kulokho kanye nokunye. Uma udidekile futhi udabukile, lezi yizinto eziyishumi ezizokusiza ukuthi uhlukane nobudlelwano bakho futhi uqhubeke ngokushesha. 

Izinyathelo Eziyi-10 Zokukusiza Ukusuka Ebudlelwaneni Obunzima

Ukhathazekile ngokuthi ungase ungaphinde uthole uthando lweqiniso? Ukhathazekile ngokuthi awazi ukuthi ungadlula kanjani ebuhlotsheni besikhathi eside? Ukhungathekile ukuthi awukwazi ukusuka ebuhlotsheni obujulile ngaphandle kokuvalwa? Ungakhathazeki, i-Bonobology ilapha ukuze ikukhiphe kulesi simo esiyinkinga. Nazi izinyathelo eziyi-10 zokukusiza ukuthi wenze lokho.

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1. Qala umsebenzi omusha wokuzilibazisa

Ungasuka kanjani ebuhlotsheni obujulile? Lesi yisinyathelo esibaluleke kakhulu ngemuva kokuhlukana uma ufisa ukwazi ukuthi ungaqhubeka kanjani futhi ujabule. Wonke umuntu unesiphiwo esiyimfihlo, into angayenza kangcono kakhulu kunabanye. Kungaba ukudweba, ukucula, ukufunda amanoveli, ukubhala, noma ngisho nokugibela amahhashi (yebo, lokho kuwuthando olusemthethweni). Uma ungena ujule ekhaleni kuleyo nkanuko, ingakusiza qhubekela phambili ngokushesha. 

Cabanga ngalokhu - awukaze ube nesikhathi sokufunda noma yini entsha. Phela wena ukweleta wena ukuthi uvuke ukhanye. Lena indlela engcono kakhulu yokudlula ubudlelwano besikhathi eside. Futhi namuhla kulula kunangaphambili. Kunezindawo eziningi zemakethe eziku-inthanethi ezitholakalayo ezingakusiza ukwanelisa isifiso sakho sangaphakathi sokufunda izinto zobumba, ukubhala izinkondlo, ukuzibophezela ekusebenzeni engadini, nokwenza ezinye izinto ezifanayo.

2. Hlanganyela nabangani bakho bese uzama ukuzijabulisa

Ingabe ufuna ukusuka ebuhlotsheni obubucayi kakhulu? Ngeke ukwenze nge ukuzidabukela. Kufanele uvuse ibhondi owabelana ngayo nabangane bakho bakudala futhi ubone ukuthi lokho kungokwelapha kanjani. Shayela abangani bakho futhi ubazise ukuthi uyabadinga ukuze baqhubeke ngokushesha. 

Abangane babonakala bengcono kunabeluleki nabelaphi abaphula inhliziyo. Bangacindezela imikhawulo yakho, bakhulise ama-horizons akho futhi bakusize udlule ubudlelwano besikhathi eside. Abangane nabo bayakwazi ukungena nokuphuma kwakho ngakho-ke awekho amathuba okuthi bangakwahlulela. Bangakwazi ukuzwelana ngokuphelele nombono wakho futhi bangalokothi bakudumaze. Bangaba umngane wakho kukho konke okuphambene futhi bangase bakufundise ukuthi ungasuka kanjani ebuhlotsheni obunzima ngaphandle kokuvalwa.

3. Yamukela isilwane

Uma ufuna ukusuka ebudlelwaneni obubucayi kakhulu, kufanele uthathe isilwane esifuywayo. Akunandaba ukuthi inja, ikati, noma ingwe (yebo, bayakuvumela lokho kwamanye amazwe). Isilwane esifuywayo ngeke sinikeze kuphela uthando olungenamibandela nothando kodwa futhi sikusize uqonde ukuthi ungaqhubeka kanjani futhi ujabule. Uma ungenazo izinhlinzeko ezanele zokuthatha nokunakekela isilwane sakho esifuywayo, ungavolontiya endaweni yokukhosela izilwane ezifuywayo noma ubheke abangani abahle abapholile abakhona nabantu bakho abaziwayo.

Ungasuka kanjani ebuhlotsheni obujulile? Ngokuvamile kuthiwa izilwane ezifuywayo zingathatha isimo sengqondo somnikazi wazo futhi zisiguqule. Ucwaningo lwezifundo zibonise ukuthi izilwane ezifuywayo zingakha uxhumo olujulile nawe futhi zimunce konke okubi okuzungeza umngane/umnikazi wazo. Ukuxhumana okuzwayo nesilwane sakho esifuywayo kungokothando lomoya futhi lokho kungaphezu kokulinganisa. Isilwane esifuywayo singaba umngane wakho wengane uma uphuthelwa umlingani wakho. Lokhu kungakusiza ukuthi udlule ebuhlotsheni besikhathi eside ngaphandle kokubhekana nemiphumela eyingozi.

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4. Ziphushele emsebenzini

Ngiyazi ukuthi lena indlela eyimpikiswano yokusuka ebudlelwaneni obubucayi kodwa ngizwe. Kulo mhlaba wezothando eziguquguqukayo kanye nokwehla kwamandla emali okuhlala kukhuphuka, isheke elinamandla lihlala ligcina ukukhathazeka okwengeziwe. Umuntu siqu kanye nochwepheshe ngokuvamile abahlangani kahle kodwa kwezinye izimo, omunye angaphelelisa ukungabikho komunye kahle kakhulu. Ufuna umuzwa wokufezeka lapho uphansi futhi uphume futhi umsebenzi ungakunikeza lokho kalula.

Lokho kusho ukuthi uthola ukujabulela ukuphumelela noma ngabe kufanele usuke ebuhlotsheni obungathi sina ngaphandle kokuvalwa. Funda ukwamukela umoya wakho wangaphakathi womsebenzi futhi ugibele indlela eya empumelelweni ibhalansi yempilo yomsebenzi. Esikhathini esifushane, kungase kube umfutho owudingayo ukuze uqhubekele phambili ngokushesha.

5. Qala uthando olusha

Ungasuka kanjani ebuhlotsheni obujulile? Noma kunjalo, kunempikiswano eyengeziwe. Yebo, ngilandele umbono wokugcina ngomunye ophikisana nakakhulu. Wozani, wonke umuntu uyazi ukuthi umuthi womlingo owelapha zonke izifo uwuthando olusha futhi akukho lutho olungalungile ngokwezimiso noma ngokoqobo ngokuqala uthando olusha lwesivunguvungu ukuze uqhubekele phambili ebuhlotsheni obungathi sina ngaphandle kokuvalwa. Eqinisweni, uma ungazange uvaleleke ebudlelwaneni bakho bangaphambilini, lena indlela engcono kakhulu yokuqhubekela phambili. 

Akukho lutho olungalungile ukuthandana izikhathi eziningi ozidingayo ukuze uzenze ukhululeke futhi ujabule. Kodwa khumbula - imvume iyisakhiwo sabo bonke ubudlelwano. Ngakho uma usunakekelwe leyo ngxenye, asikho isidingo sokulalela okushiwo umphakathi.

6. Yeka ukucupha i-ex yakho

Lapho, ngakusho. Uma uzama ukusuka ebuhlotsheni obujulile ngaphandle kokuvalwa, into embi kakhulu ongayenza ukuhlala ucwilile kuma- maybes. Kungakhinyabeza inqubekelaphambili yakho nesimo somqondo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izosusa izinkumbulo ezindala ezingadala umonakalo omkhulu kunalokho okudingekile.

Isikhathi osichithe nophathina wakho asilibaleki futhi singakukhalisa izinyembezi kodwa ukufunda amaphrofayili abo e-Instagram noma kuFacebook kuzosenza isimo sibe sibi. Futhi kuzophinde kukwenze ubukeke unamandla ngokweqile futhi lokho akulona uphawu oluhle. Kuzokwehlisa kuphela isimo sakho sengqondo samanje. Ngiyazi ukuthi kuyamangaza qhubekela phambili emva kokuhlukana nisathandana kodwa kufanele ukwenze ngoba ekugcineni, ukufanele.

7. Zikhumbuze ngesizathu sokuthi nahlukana

Ingabe uyafuna ukwazi indlela engcono kakhulu yokusuka ebuhlotsheni obujulile? Uma ucabanga ngobudlelwano obungajwayelekile, nami ngikufake lokho. Kodwa kukhona okungcono. Kufanele nje uzenze ukhumbule isizathu esiqondile sokuthi kungani uthathe lesi sinyathelo. Ngeke kusebenze uma ulahliwe kodwa lokho ngingakuvala emaphuzwini ethu akamuva. Lalela ingqondo yakho bese uzama ukumba isizathu sokuthi kungani uzizwe udinga ukuhlehla. Zikhumbuze ngaleyo nqubo yokuthatha izinqumo futhi voila, uzophulukiswa kulesi sifo futhi uzonqoba noma yibuphi ubuhlobo besikhathi eside.

Kumelwe ukuba ube nesizathu esicacile esicacile sokuqhubekela phambili ngokushesha uma ungakhumbula nje ukuthi kumelwe ukuba uzizwe kanjani ngesikhathi unquma ukukuqeda. Mhlawumbe umlingani wakho ubebudedengu, mhlawumbe wakuqhatha, mhlawumbe uvele waphelelwa wuthando - ungakhathazeki, cabanga nje ngamathuba aphambi kwakho kunalokhu akulele ngemuva.

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8. Hamba uye eholidini

Uma ufuna impendulo emfushane yokuthi ungaqhubeka kanjani futhi ujabule, nginezwi elilodwa kuwe - iholide. Okudingeka kakhulu futhi okudala kulindwe kungasusa ingqondo yakho ezinkingeni zobudlelwano bakho, kukuvulele izindlela ezintsha zokuzicabangela wena nenjabulo futhi kukusize uqhubeke ngokushesha. Kuyi-Lois Lane ku-Superman wakho.

Iholide akumele libe sendaweni ebabazekayo futhi engavamile. Kungaba indawo epholisa ingqondo yakho futhi egqumisa umzimba wakho. Hamba uyocwilisa ngokushesha olwandle noma ugibele umjuluko ezintabeni futhi uzobuya unamandla futhi ugcwele i-oxytocin, ihomoni yothando. Kudingeka kakhulu ukwedlula ubudlelwano besikhathi eside.

9. Zama ukwenza abangani abasha

Ungaqhubeka kanjani ukusuka ku-a ubuhlobo obujulile? Uyafuna impendulo yalo mbuzo? Nakuba iphuzu lesi-2 likhuluma ngokubaluleka kokukhuluma nabangane abakhona, ngiyazi futhi ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi, ubathemba abantu ongabazi kakhulu. Angiphakamisi ukuthi uthulule inhliziyo yakho kumuntu ongamazi ukuze usuke ebuhlotsheni obujulile kodwa kunalokho ube ubungane naye. Umngane omusha yikho konke okudingayo ukuze ubhale kabusha konke okwenzekile. Umngane omusha angaba umsindisi kulowo mhlaba. Ngikhumbula ukuthi umngane wami wadlula enkathini efanayo yesizungu kanye nencithakalo ngemva kokuhlukana kodwa wathola injabulo evuselelwe lapho eseqale umphakathi wabathandi bezobuchwepheshe. Lelo qembu lamsiza ukuba athole izinyawo zakhe emanzini anezinkathazo.

Uma ungomunye ozama ukuqhubekela phambili ngemva kokuhlukana nisathandana, futhi wabelana nabangane abafanayo nowayengumlingani wakho, kungase kube nzima kuwe ukuthulula isifuba kubo. Lena inketho engcono kakhulu kuwe kuleso simo. Uthola ukuhlola okwengeziwe ngokusebenzisa inethiwekhi futhi udambisa ubuhlungu benhliziyo yakho isikhashana.

10. Ungaqhubeki okwamanje

Ungasuka kanjani ebuhlotsheni obujulile? Uma ubambekile kuze kube manje, lena izokusindisa enye inkinga. Ngigcine lokhu okokugcina njengoba kungenzeka ukuthi akuyona into ofuna ukuyizwa njengamanje. Kodwa ngilalele. Izikhathi eziningi ubudlelwano buphuka hhayi ngenxa yokuthi abantu bebengathandani noma benganandaba kodwa ngenxa yokungaqondi, ukuntuleka kokuxhumana, kanye nezindaba ze-ego. Uma kunjalo, uma uthatha isinqumo sokusuka ebudlelwaneni obubucayi kakhulu, ngenxa yezinto ezithile ezingalungiswa, sicela uthathe ithuba lokwenza kanjalo.

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Siyakuhalalisela ngokuphuma kuze kube manje. Bekungelula, ngiyazi kodwa kuyisinyathelo esibheke esinqumweni esifanele. Kuvamise ukuba nzima ukusuka ebudlelwaneni obubucayi kakhulu ngenxa yokuzibophezela okufihlekile kanye nezinye izindaba ezihambisanayo. Ucwaningo ithi kungase kuthathe umuntu osondelene nezinyanga ezi-3 kuya kwezi-4 ukuthi alulame ekuguleni kwenhliziyo kodwa khumbula, ungumngane wakho omkhulu kulesi simo.

Ngaphambi kokuba ngifinyelele esiphethweni, esinye iseluleko. Ungavumeli muntu ukuthi anqume ukuthi yini okufanele ibe khona empilweni yakho nokuthi yini okungafanele ibe khona. Akekho owazi ubunzima bakho, amaphupho akho, nezifiso zakho njengoba wazi. Lokho kuyilungelo lakho futhi noma ngabe izinto azihambanga nomuntu, ungadikibali lelo qiniso.

Uthando luyinto engavamile ezweni eligcwele izingxabano ezingenangqondo. Uma ubunalolo hlobo lobudlelwano nomuntu wakho, ungamyeki ahambe. Qonda ukuthi leli yicala elilodwa le-unicorn-ish lapho umlingani wakho engakuhlukumezi noma akulimaze. Uma kunjalo, sicela uqhubeke ngokushesha.
Ngakho-ke kwakukhona izimpendulo ezihlukene embuzweni - indlela yokuqhubekela phambili ebuhlotsheni obunzima? Ngethemba ukuthi lolu hlu luzokuthola ngesikhathi lapho uludinga kakhulu futhi lukusiza ukuthi udlule ebuhlotsheni besikhathi eside ngaphandle kokulimaza inhliziyo yakho. Ake ngikushiye nomcabango kaRalph Waldo Emerson: “Okungemuva kwakho nalokho okuphambi kwakho, kuncane kakhulu uma kuqhathaniswa nalokho okungaphakathi kuwe.” Njengamanje, ngithemba ukuthi usuyitholile impendulo yokuthi ungasuka kanjani ebudlelwaneni obubucayi.

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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.