I roto i te ao kei hea monogami e kiia ana ko te huarahi noa iho mō ngā whanaungatanga aroha, he ara kē atu anō kei roto i ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera, he ara e wero ana i ngā ariā tuku iho o te whakapau kaha me te pono. Ahakoa he uaua te whakatere i ngā uauatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga tuwhera, he tohu anō hoki tēnei i te āhua o te aroha e whanake haere ana me ngā huarahi kanorau e kitea ai e te tangata te hononga me te whakatutukitanga.
Kei te rongonui ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera mō ngā tokorua o te tāone o ēnei rā
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Tērā pea ka ara ake ngā tukemata o te tini i tētahi whanaungatanga tuwhera i Inia, nā te mea he tapu. Hei ahurea, hei hapori hoki, kāore mātou e whakaae ki te maha o ngā wāhine. Ā, he aha ko Inia anake, i roto i te maha o ngā whenua e kiia ana he mea rerekē. Engari i te whanaketanga o Inia, kei te tere haere te noho o te tāone. Kua whakatau ētahi o ngā hoa aroha ki te wheako pono i "te kanorau te mea kakara o te ora".
E whā tau a Sonam rāua ko Zabir e noho tuwhera ana i roto i tētahi hononga, ā, te āhua nei kei te tino harikoa rāua. He kotiro Hindu Malayali ataahua, 27 tau te pakeke a Sonam, he kikokore, ā, he tama tāne Muslim 29 tau te pakeke a Zabir. I ētahi tau kua pahure ake nei, i noho tahi rāua, engari i muri tata mai i te nekenga o ōna mātua ki Pune mai i Aurangabad, ka neke atu ia ki te noho tahi me ōna mātua. Nā te mea kāore i taea e Sonam te utu i te reti ko ia anake, ka whakatau ia ki te noho tahi me tōna whaea.
Pānui e pā ana: Kāore māua e hiahia ana ki te marena, ki te tamariki rānei. He tino pai te hononga noho tahi mā māua.
Te uaua o tā rāua whanaungatanga
He tino uaua tō rāua whanaungatanga i ētahi wā. He hoa pai rawa atu te whaea o Sonam nōku, ā, he maha aku haerenga ki te toro atu ki a rāua i ngā ahiahi i muri i te mahi. I te nuinga o te wā ka kite ahau i a Zabir i tōna kāinga. I muri i tā rāua haerenga ki tō rāua rūma moe me te raka i te tatau, kāore e taea e au te kore e pātai atu ki te whaea o Sonam, "He aha ia i noho tonu ai ki tō kōrua kāinga? Kua tae atu a Sonam ki tōna kāinga?" "Kāore ōna mātua e mōhio ana mō tō rāua whanaungatanga, engari e pai ana ahau ki tēnā. Ko te oranga o Sonam tēnei, ā, me whakatau e ia te mea pai mōna," te whakahoki a tōna whaea. Nō reira i whakaaro ahau kāore tōna whānau i te tino ahu whakamua, i te hou hoki pērā i tōna.
I muri i ētahi wiki, ka pātai atu ahau ki a Sonam mō tana aroha ki a Zabir, ā, ka whakahoki mai ia, "Kei roto māua i tētahi hononga, engari ko māua anō ngā rohe me ngā ture e tautuhi ana. Ina hiahia ia ki te marena ki tētahi atu, ka taea e ia. Kāore au e hiahia ki te marena." Ka pātai wawe atu ahau ki a ia, "Ā, ko ia e kotiti ke ana nā te kore o te piripono?" "E tuwhera ana māua ki te whakaipoipo ki ētahi atu, nā te mea ka kōrerohia e māua ngā mea katoa ki a māua anō. Ki tā māua whakaaro he āwhina tēnei i roto i tō māua hononga. He pai ake te kōrero me te moe tahi i te tinihanga," tana kī.
I taua wā tonu, i whakaaro ahau he nui rawa te uauatanga hei whakatau. Ko ia he Hinitū, ā, he Muhirama iaKāore ōna mātua i te mōhio mō rāua engari he pai tōna whaea. Ā, hei tāpiri atu ki te raruraru katoa, kāore rāua e hiahia ki te marena, ā, e whā tau rāua e tūtaki ana tetahi ki tetahi, me ētahi atu tāngata anō hoki. Kāore i taea e au te ārai i te whakaaro, kei te aroha rānei rāua tetahi ki tetahi?
Pānui e pā ana: E aroha ana rāua tetahi ki tetahi, engari kāore i te tino mōhio mō te marena
Te ngawari o tā rāua whanaungatanga
I tētahi rā i a au e noho ana i te kāinga o Sonam, ka kohia e au te maia ki te pātai atu ki a ia, “E Sonam, e aroha ana koe ki a Zabir?” “Āe, e aroha ana ahau ki a ia, ā, e aroha ana hoki ia ki ahau,” ko tana whakautu.
"Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera te oranga mō mātou. Ka kōrero mātou mō ngā mea katoa, ahakoa te āhua o te kore whakamarie."
"E mōhio ana ahau he uaua pea ki te tokomaha te mārama, engari e pai ana mātou ki tēnei āhua. He pono mātou, kāore e hiahiatia kia huna i tō mātou hiahia ki te moepuku, ā, ko te mea nui, e mōhio ana mātou ka noho tahi mātou tetahi ki tetahi ina hiahiatia. Ko te moepuku me te kite i ētahi atu tāngata he wāhanga nui o tō mātou whanaungatanga. Heoi anō, kāore mātou e teka tetahi ki tetahi, ā, kua whanake ake ā mātou kōrero katoa i te nuinga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i roto i te whanaungatanga kotahi." I whakamārama mai ia i te ngāwari o tō rāua whanaungatanga ki ahau, ā, i tino whakapono ahau he tika mō rātou. Nā wai rā, ko wai ahau hei whakatau i te mea tika, i te mea hē rānei? I tino marino ahau i taku kōrero ki a ia, ā, i mōhio ahau ko tō rāua whanaungatanga kei runga i te whakawhirinaki me te aroha. He rerekē te whakamāramatanga a ia tangata mō ēnei kupu e rua.
Te pānui e pā ana: He Whānaungatanga Tuwhera Kua Hē – Te Hiahia ki te Pūmau me te Maha Atu
A, me pēhea rā te heke mai o tā rāua whanaungatanga?
Heoi, i ētahi wā, ka whakaaro ahau he aha te heke mai o tā rāua whanaungatanga? Mehemea ka tīmata ōna mātua, te āhua nei he hunga tuku iho, ki te tohe kia marena ia ki tētahi kōtiro Muhirama? "Āe, kāore rawa e pā ki ahau. Ka kite tonu ia i ahau, ā, ka kite tonu ahau i a ia. Inaa, he teka ia ki tana wahine, engari ehara i ahau. Ko ahau motuhake pūtea "Ā, e mōhio ana ahau ahakoa te wā e hiahia ana tātou tetahi ki tetahi, ahakoa te taha pūtea, ka noho tonu tātou ki reira. Mōku nei, kāore au e huna ana i tetahi mea," tana whakamārama.
Mai i te tirohanga a Zabir, i whakaaro ahau mēnā kei te hē tana mahi, engari nā Sonam anō ahau i āwhina kia mārama kāore te aroha e herea ki te tangata kotahi anake. "Ka taea e ia te aroha ki ahau, ā, ka taea hoki e ia te aroha ki tana wahine, mēnā ka moe ia."
"Nāna te whiriwhiri ki te kōrero ki a ia, ā, māna hoki te whiriwhiri kia noho tahi rāua. Nāu anō ngā whiriwhiri katoa."
"Engari, me pēhea rā mēnā ka tīmata ia ki te wehe atu i a koe, mēnā ka aroha ia ki tana wahine, ā, ka hiahia rāua ki te marena kotahi?" i pātai atu ahau. Ka menemene mai ia, ā, ka pātai mai ki ahau, "Ka aha koe mēnā ka tīmata koe ki te ngaro atu i te aroha? Kāore au i te mōhio me pēhea taku tauhohe i taua wā. Kāore hoki he mea pumau."
I tere tonu taku whakaaro he kōwhiringa nāu te harikoa; kāore e taea te noho tūpono noa. Nā te whakatipuranga tuku iho i a au, me te mātauranga ahu whakamua i riro mai i a au, nā te pakanga tonu i roto i tōku hinengaro i akiaki ahau kia mārama me pēhea i angitu tā rāua hononga "tuwhera"I tēnei rā, ina kite ahau i a rāua e harikoa ana, ka mutu te pātai a tōku hinengaro taupatupatu.
Pātai Auau
1. Me pēhea e rātou te whakarite kia mau tonu te kaha o tō rātou whanaungatanga matua?
He mea nui te whakarite i te whanaungatanga matua hei kaupapa matua. Kei roto i tēnei ko te whakatapua i te wā kounga tahi, te pupuri i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera me te pono, me te whakapuaki i te maioha tetahi ki tetahi.
2. Me pēhea tā rātou whakahaere i ngā āwangawanga mō ngā mate urutā (STI)?
He mea nui te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera mō te hauora ā-ira tangata, te whakamātautau auau, me te whakamahi tonu i ngā tikanga ārai hei pupuri i te hauora ā-ira tangata i roto i ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera.
3. He aha ētahi o ngā wero e pā ana ki ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i roto i ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera?
Ko ētahi o ngā wero ko te whakahaere i te wā me te kaha i waenga i ngā hoa maha, te whakatere i te whakama o te pāpori, me te whakatau i ngā kare ā-roto, i ngā āhuatanga rānei kāore i te tumanakohia.
Thoughts Final
Ahakoa ehara i te mea mā te katoa, he kōwhiringa whai hua, whai hua hoki ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera mō ētahi tāne me ngā wāhine. Heoi, ko te whakatere i ngā uauatanga o tēnei momo whanaungatanga me whai pono, me whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, me whakaute tetahi ki tetahi, me te hiahia ki te urutau me te tipu tahi. He mea nui kia tino whakapau kaha ngā hoa e rua ki te whakaritenga, me te whakatairanga i te hauora me te harikoa o te whanaungatanga matua me ngā hononga atu.
Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga tuwhera, he mea nui kia kōrero tuwhera, kia pono hoki ki tō hoa mō ō hiahia, ō tumanakohanga, me roheKia maumahara, kāore he huarahi kotahi e pai ana mō ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera katoa, ā, he mea nui kia kitea te mea e pai ana mōu me tō hoa. Ka taea e ā mātou kaitohutohu te whakarato i tētahi wāhi haumaru mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te tūhura i ō rātou hiahia, whakatūria he rohe hauora, ā, kia whakaterea ngā uauatanga o te kore-takitahi.
He aha te marena tuwhera, ā, he aha te take e whiriwhiri ai te tangata i tētahi?
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
Ki tō whakaaro, mehemea i pono ake tātou katoa, kāore tātou e ohorere i tēnei mahi?
Ae. He kōwhiringa ka mahia e koe me te mōhio. Ā, ina tae ki tētahi whanaungatanga tuwhera, mā te tautuhi i ō ake rohe ka tino mārama koe ko kōrua ngā punga o te hononga, ehara i te whakaaro matua. Mā te pono tetahi ki tetahi ka whānui ake te tirohanga a tetahi ki tetahi, ā, ka taea e kōrua te whanake nui. Mā te noho māmā noa iho ka māmā ake ngā mea katoa.
He pono!!! He maha ngā titiro pōuri ka puta mai ina kōrero koe ki tētahi kei roto koe i tētahi hononga tuwhera. Ina mōhio te iwi kei roto koe i tētahi hononga tuwhera mai i te rā tuatahi, ā, kei te tau tuatoru koe i tēnei wā, ka tino hiahia rātou ki te mōhio.
Mō te āhua o tana mahi – ko te pono anake te kaupapa here. Kāore he mea ngaro i roto i tēnei whanaungatanga.
Ki tōku whakaaro, mēnā kua whakatakotoria ngā ture matua, ā, ka piri koe ki aua ture, ā, kei te taha koe o te momo tangata tika (kāore koe e mōhio mō tēnā, engari ki te whakaaro koe), ka ora tonu aua whanaungatanga tuwhera!
Ko tāku e pai ake ai mō ngā whanaungatanga tuwhera, he pai ake i te tinihanga.
Engari kaua ēnei whanaungatanga e pānuitia whānuitia, e maiohatia rānei. Me rite ki te kaupapa here "kaua e pātai, kaua e kōrero". Ko te take, ka whakatairanga i ngā tikanga pāpori, arā, ka kitea ngā whanaungatanga i waho o te marena he ōrite ki ngā whanaungatanga i roto i ngā tikanga pāpori tuku iho (te marena ōkawa me ētahi atu). Mā ēnei whanaungatanga tuwhera ka whakangaro i te hapori o nāianei e mōhiotia ana e tātou. Kia whakaaetia ēnei whanonga hē, ka puta he hapori kī tonu i ngā poriro, nā te mea kāore tetahi e mōhio ko wai te matua. Ko te tamaiti e whakatipuria ana me te kore he tuakiri whānau, i te nuinga o te wā ka puta he tangata whakahē i te hapori.
Ka taea te ako i ngā akoranga o tēnei momo whanaungatanga maha i roto i te pukapuka Mahabharata. I whakangaromia te ao whānui e te toto nā te hiahia ki tētahi wahine kua noho tahi kētia e te tokorima.
Nō reira, me haere tonu te whakahē ki tēnei momo whanaungatanga mai i ngā wāhanga "matatika" o te hapori.
He take hiahia noa iho te marena maha. Me i tino aroha, i tino whakahoahoa, i tino whakaute rānei ki te tangata, kua mutu te whanaungatanga ki te marena kotahi. Ko te hunga he pononga nā te hiahia, he pononga rātou nā te marena maha.
Kāo, e māmā, kei te hē koe. Ngāna kia nui ake tō mātauranga, kia kōrero hoki ki te hunga aroha maha i mua i te whakatau i ngā whakaaro noa iho i runga i ngā pūrākau me ngā whakaaro noa.
Ina hoki, e whakaatu ana ngā raraunga ko ngā hapori e pai ana ki te taatai, e whakaae ana ki ngā momo aroha me ngā hiahia taikaha, ka nui ake te harikoa o ō rātou oranga.
Mauruuru koe.
@SKP
Kāore au e hiahia ki te mātauranga mō te whanaungatanga maha – arā, mō te hiahia me te taatai i whakaaetia anake.
Nō reira, āe, mēnā ka taea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te whai hoa maha, me te moepuku i ngā wā maha i te rā, me te kore e manukanuka ki tetahi mea, ka koa rātou. Kāore he mea hou mō tēnei.
I roto i ngā kupu poto, he mawhiti. Mā te whai wāhi ki te moepuku me te hiahia, ka wareware te tangata ki ngā mamae o te oranga tuku iho o te moepuku kotahi. Nō reira, ko te moepuku i konei ka mawhiti atu i te ao tūturu. Ki te mea he huarahi āu kia kaua e manukanuka ki ngā āwangawanga me ngā raruraru, ā, kia kaua e whai kawenga pāpori, ka harikoa koe. I whakatairanga te sadhu nui o Īnia – a Rajaneesh – i te moepuku me te hiahia korekore hei huarahi ki te whiwhi harikoa me te whiwhi whakaoranga. Arā, mā te noho i te oranga moepuku, i kauwhau ia ka taea e te tangata te whiwhi moksha, te whakaoranga rānei. Ki taku whakaaro ko te polyamory e ahu mai ana i aua whakaakoranga a Rajneesh.
Ehara tēnei i te mea engari he neke atu i te hapori matatau ki te noho kararehe. Ka anga atu te tangata ki ngā kararehe hei whakamātau i ngā kare ā-roto kararehe, te apo me te hiahia. Ka whakarerea ngā kawenga me te mea nei i whānau mai rātou hei pārekareka ki te moe tahi. I tēnei kaupapa o te ao, ko te moe tahi anake me tetahi e hiahia ana koe. Koinā katoa. Ka ngaro te whakaaroaro ki a koe anō i te hiahia.