Mā te pātai, "He aha ahau i takakau ai?", ka kore ai koe e moe, ka whakaaroaro nui koe ki te whakautu, kaua e ngana ki te haere ki waho ki te kimi i tētahi whanaungatanga whai tikanga? I roto i ngā take maha e takakau tonu ai koe, ka whakamana atu mātou ki a koe ehara te hinu kakara i mau i a koe i tō rā whakamutunga i tētahi o ēnā.
Kāore pea i te tika te wā, kāore pea i tuhia ki ngā whetū, kāore rānei i kitea e koe te tohu, ā, kāore i kihi i a rāua, ā, ka mutu te rā me te awhi kāore i ahu ki hea.
He painga anō tō te noho takakau, engari ki te mea kei te rapu koe i te aroha o tō ao, ka taea te huri mai i te "Ka taea e au te mahi i taku e hiahia ai!" ki te "Ko taku e hiahia ana ko te mahi i taku e hiahia ai me te tangata e arohaina ana e au" i roto i te wā poto. Heoi, kāore e tika kia waiho hei mea ngaro te take e takakau tonu ana koe. Mā te āwhina a te kaiako whakaipoipo Geetarsh Kaur, te kaiwhakaū o Te Kura Pūkenga e tohunga ana ki te hanga whanaungatanga kaha ake, me ngana tātou ki te mārama he aha koe kāore anō kia kitea he tangata hei penapena i te poro piza whakamutunga mōna.
11 Ngā Take e Noho Takakau Tonu Ana Koe – Kia Mōhio Mai I Te Tohunga
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ki te pātai mai tētahi he aha koe e takakau tonu ana, kaua e whiua he kai ki tōna mata, engari me whakapae noa i te mate urutā. Nā te korenga o te whakapā atu ki te ao o waho mō ngā marama kua whakapono tātou ka whai hua ngā kupu whakahihiri pēnei i te "Kei te hiahia koe ki te whakatata atu i te 6 putu te tawhiti?".
Kaua e tino whakapataritari i a koe anō. Kua wareware te nuinga ki te pupuri i tētahi kōrero ki tētahi me te kore e tuku emoji me GIF hei whakamutu i te kōrero. He huarahi ngāwari te whakapae i te mate urutā hei whakakore i tētahi pātai ka mutu pea ka whakaaro nui koe ki te tae o te hāte i mau i a koe i tō rā whakamutunga.
Ka pā kino pea te noho takakau i a koe e rapu ana i te aroha ki tō whakaaro pono me tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō. Tērā pea ka pātai koe ki a koe anō, "He aha ahau i takakau tonu ai?" ā, ka whai muri ko te whakahē i a koe anō. Kua whakaarohia e koe ko te whakautu pea nā te mea he pai rawa atu koe mō te katoa, ā, kāore he tangata e tata atu ana? Kia kaha tonu!
Ngā take hei noho takakau he nui pea. Hei tīmatanga, ko te moni katoa ka penapenahia e koe nā te mea kāore koe e hiahia ki te tiki i ngā kai e rua e tonoa ana e koe. Ka nui ake hoki te wā hei mahi i a koe anō, kaua e whakarongo ki te amuamu a tō hoa mō te mahi. Kaua e wareware ki ngā hoa katoa ka whiwhi koe! Me te hunga kua ngaro kē te hononga ki a rātou i te rā i uru ai koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga.
Ehara i te mea kino te noho takakau. Ahakoa ngā painga, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe ki te pātai 'he aha ahau i takakau tonu ai?', ko ngā take kua whakarārangihia i raro nei ka taea te hoatu i ngā whakautu e rapu ana koe.
Te pānui e pā ana: 21 Ngā Tohutohu Kāore anō kia Whakakitea hei Āwhina i a Koe ki te Kimi i te Aroha
1. Kāore koe e whakaae ki tētahi mea iti iho i te "kotahi"
He ātaahua te āhua i roto i ngā kiriata, i te tūtakitanga i te kokonga, i te tūtakitanga i tētahi whare pukapuka ataahua, i te tūtaki kanohi me te hinganga o te aroha.
Engari he rerekē rawa te ao tūturu. Ki te waimarie koe, ka pana tika koe, kāore he tumanako nui. Ka pai te hononga o kōrua, ā, ka taea e kōrua te whakatau i tētahi rā. Ka tino pai te rā, ā, tera pea ka whakaaro koe ki te tīmata i tētahi hononga ki tēnei tangata.
Ki te mea kei te tatari koe kia tae mai tō toa i roto i te pukupuku kanapa ki te hopu i a koe i te wā tonu ka titiro mai ia ki a koe, ka titiro tonu koe ki a ia tae noa ki te moenga mate. Ko te nui rawa o ngā tumanakohanga mō tō hoa rangatira ā muri ake nei tētahi o ngā tino take e noho takakau tonu ai koe.
Geetarsh e whakamārama ana i te uaua o te ine i ngā tumanakohanga hurihuri, engari e whakamārama ana hoki i te hiranga o te whakahaere i ngā tumanakohanga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga"Ka rerekē ngā tumanakohanga i runga i te pakeketanga, ngā āhuatanga me te wā. He rerekē rawa ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe ina 18 ōu tau i ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe ina 25 ōu tau. Nō reira, ko te nui rawa o ngā tumanakohanga tētahi o ngā take e kore ai e taea e te tangata te noho tahi me tētahi; he maha atu anō hoki ngā āhuatanga e whakatau ana i te putanga."
"Ahakoa rā, me tirotiro tonu koe mēnā he pono ō tumanakohanga, mēnā rānei kei te tito noa koe i ngā whakaaro pakiwaitara mō te aroha i roto i tōu mahunga. He tokomaha te hunga e titiro ana ki ō rātou hoa kua honoa, ā, e whakaaro ana koinā te āhua o tō rātou whanaungatanga. Mā taua whakataurite ka puta he whakaaro kino i roto i tōu mahunga, nā te mea kāore koe e mōhio he rerekē ia tangata, ia tangata, ā, ka rerekē tonu tō whanaungatanga i te whanaungatanga kei roto i ō hoa."
"Whakatakotoria ō ake paerewa, ō ake tumanakohanga, ō ake hiahia. Kāore e taea e koe te titiro ki ngā mea e tumanakohia ana e ētahi atu i roto i ō rātou whanaungatanga; ka motuhake ō hiahia me ō hiahia ki tō ake whanaungatanga. Heoi, he mea tino nui kia mōhio koe he pono ngā tumanakohanga kei a koe."
He pono, ki te kitea e koe tētahi hei whakakata i a koe, hei aroha pono ki a koe, ā, hei tino atawhai, kua eke koe ki te taumata teitei.
2. Kei te tau te rākau hē ki runga
Ara, kei te takaro koe ki te tangata hē. Tērā pea kāore ngā tāngata i whiriwhiria e koe hei hoa mahi i te tika māu, ā, kāore koe e kite i tēnā. Tērā pea kāore i te tika te wā, tērā pea kāore rātou i te pai mōu, kāore rānei rātou i te pai ki a koe, ā, kei a koe anō tētahi take o te aroha taha taha.
Ki te mea kei te whiriwhiri tonu koe i te tangata hē māu, ka taea e tēnei te whakautu ngāwari i ngā pātai nui kei a koe, pērā i te, "He aha te take e takakau ana ahau?" "He aha ahau e takakau tonu ana i te 30 o oku tau?"
"Ko te huarahi hei karo i te hae ki te rākau hē ko te mahi hapa, me te mārama ki ngā mea kāore koe e hiahia ana i roto i tētahi tangata i muri i tō tūtakitanga ki ētahi kāore e pai ki a koe. He pai ki te tirotiro haere me te whakamātautau, koinei anake te huarahi ka kitea ai e koe he aha te mea e pai ana ki a koe, me te aha hoki kāore," te kī a Geetarsh.
"Me huri tō tirohanga ki te kēmu whakaipoipo. Whakaarohia he wheako ako, hei āwhina i a koe ki te mōhio he aha ngā mea kāore koe e hiahia ana mai i tētahi hoa. Kia mārama rā anō koe ki te momo tangata kāore e taea e koe te noho tahi, ko reira koe ka kitea ai tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, e arohaina ana hoki e koe," tāna tāpiri.
Ko te mōhio ki te momo tangata e rapu ana koe te mea nui. Ahakoa e hiahia ana te katoa ki tētahi nehenehe, ngana ki te whakaaro mō ētahi atu āhuatanga o te tangata e hiahia ana koe ki roto i a ia. Kaua e tino taipitopito rawa, ka mutu ka pānui anō koe i te tohu tuatahi!
3. Ka whakataurite koe i ngā hoa hou ki ngā tāngata o mua
Ahakoa kei runga tautuhinga hoahoa, ki te tīmata tonu koe ki te whakarite i ngā mea o te tangata tauhou ki tō hoa o mua, me poroporoaki atu ki ngā tumanakohanga katoa ki te kimi hoa i roto i ngā wā tata nei. Mā te tino arohaehae, te whakarite tonu i ngā tāngata hou ka tūtaki koe ki ngā tāngata o mua, ka mutu ka nui rawa ngā tumanakohanga ka puta.
He mea nui kia mārama koe he rerekē ngā ngoikoretanga me ngā kaha o ia tangata. Kāore he tangata e rite ki tō whakaaro, ā, kāore hoki he tangata e taea te whakaoti i te whakamātautau whakatairite. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te raru koe ki te kī i ngā mea pēnei i te "Kāore au i te mōhio he aha ahau e takakau tonu ana", tirohia mēnā kei te whakataurite tonu koe i ngā hoa hou pea ki ngā tāngata kua tūtaki koe i mua.
Ka whakamārama a Geetarsh me pēhea te tirotiro i tō urupare ki ngā whakataurite e mahia ana e koe i roto i tō hinengaro. "He mea noa te whakataurite ina maharatia te tangata ki tētahi tangata mai i tōna hītori. Haunga te tirotiro i ngā whakataurite e mahia ana e koe, he mea nui anō hoki te tirotiro i tō urupare ki a rātou."
"Tērā pea koe e whakaaro ana kāore tēnei tangata hou i roto i tō ao e mahi ana i ngā mahi a tō hoa o mua, engari ko tō urupare ki tēnā e whakatau ana mēnā he whakataurite pai, kāore rānei. Kaua e urupare kino, tirohia ō ake tumanakohanga, me te ngana ki te whakaaroaro he aha koe i pērā ai."
4. Kāore koe i te tino ngāwari ki te whakatata atu
Kāo, ehara i te mea kei te whai mātou ki te whakamātau i tō āhua whānui, engari tera pea ka reo tinana ka whakamataku i ētahi tāngata. Ngāna ki te pātai atu ki ētahi tāngata i tō taha mēnā he mea whakamataku kei a koe, ā, mēnā ka whakatata atu rātou ki a koe i tētahi pāti.
Ki te kore e pai te whakautu, me mau pea ētahi tae māmā ake, me whakangāwari ake, me tango te ngutu mangu, me te ngana kia āhua hoa ake.
Kaua e whanoke ki te tangata e haere mai ana ki te kōrero ki a koe. Ko te tangata atawhai te mea tuatahi e rapua ana e te tangata ina rapu ana i tētahi hei aroha māu. Ā, ki te mea kāore anō koe kia noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, kaua e mataku kei haere mai tētahi ki te kōrero ki a koe. Tērā pea kei te whakaatu koe i ngā tohu kino ki te tangata. Tirohia tēnā.
5. Kāore koe i te rite mō te whanaungatanga
Ko ngā take kāore anō koe kia rite mō te whanaungatanga, tera pea ka whakakī i tētahi pukatuhi iti. Tērā pea i pāngia koe e tētahi mamae nui kāore anō kia taea e koe te whakakore. Tērā pea he te mataku ki te whakapau kaha kei te wehi koe i te whanaungatanga piripono, kei te tamariki rawa rānei koe, ā, ka mea tō whaea kāo.
Ahakoa kei waho koe, e rapu ana i tētahi whanaungatanga, ki te kore koe e rite ā-hinengaro ki te tuku i tētahi ki roto, e kore rawa e angitu. Kia taea ai e koe te tupu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, me noho ngoikore koe, me ako hoki ki te whakawhirinaki ki tētahi atu tangata.
"Ina wehi te tangata i ngā whanaungatanga nā ngā wheako o mua, nā tetahi mea i kitea e rātou, nā te awe rānei i pā ki ō rātou oranga, me aro tonu rātou ki taua mea," te kī a Geetarsh. I te pātaihia me pēhea te whakatau a te tangata i tōna mataku ki te piripono, ka kī a Geetarsh, "Rapua he āwhina ngaio. Ngāna ki te tīmata i te wā e pai ana koe, ka uru ki tētahi whanaungatanga ki tētahi mēnā kua roa koe e hiahia ana ki taua mea."
"Kia tuwhera ki tō whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ki ō tono me ō āwangawanga. Kaua e huna ō mataku mō te herenga, kia tino whakapuakina e koe. Heoi anō, kia tino kaua e kōrero nui mō ngā raruraru herenga. Me mahi koe ki a koe anō, ka tau te toenga ki tōna wāhi tika."
Mā te whakatū i ō pakitara me te tuku i ō arai hei tiaki i a koe mai i ngā kino, pērā i ngā mea kua pā ki a koe i mua, ka puta he aituā mō tō oranga whakaipoipo. Ki te whakapono koe me āwhina koe ki te whakatau i ngā raruraru herenga kei a koe, ko Bonobology's he rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro mātau, tae atu ki a Geetarsh tonu, ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakaaro me pēhea te whakawhirinaki anō ki tētahi.
Te pānui e pā ana: 7 Ngā Mea Hei Mahi Ina Takakau Koe Engari Kāore Anō Kia Rite Ki Te Hononga
6. He nui ake tō wā e hoatu ana ki ētahi atu āhuatanga o tō koiora
He nui te mahi a ngā whanaungatanga. He nui te kaha e hiahiatia ana hei whai, hei pupuri, hei whakatipu hoki. Mena kua pukumahi rawa koe ki te rapu mahi, he tino tika kei te takakau tonu koe nā te mea. Ehara i te mea kino te whiriwhiri i tāu mahi i runga i te whanaungatanga. te toenga mahi-ora He rerekē te āhua ina he hoa aroha hou kei roto i tō ao, he uaua ake hoki te pupuri i a koe.
Ina tīmata te pukumahi o te ao, ka hangaia e koe he mahinga hei aro atu ki ngā tumanakohanga tonu mai i a koe i te mahi. Ko ētahi tāngata ka hinga ki ā rātou mahinga, kaua ki te hoa rangatira, ā, kāore e kite i te take hei whakarerekē i ō rātou whanonga.
Pātai atu ki a koe anō mēnā kua wātea koe ki te utu mō tētahi whanaungatanga. Ki te kore, kua whakautua e koe te pātai "He aha ahau i takakau ai?"
7. Kāore koe e whakapau kaha ana ki te whakauru atu ki tētahi
Ae, ka tae mai te aroha i te wā kāore koe e rapu ana, engari e tumanako ana koe ka patuki noa te aroha o tōu ao i te tatau o tō whare noho i te papa tuawhā i a koe e takoto ana i roto i tō moenga i te pō Paraire, e mātaki ana i a Netflix?
Ko te mea nui, kāore e taea e koe te tumanako kitea te aroha Mena kāore koe i te haere ki te whakaipoipo, kāore i te whakawhanaunga, kāore i te haere ki ngā pāti, kei roto rānei koe i te rōpū "E kino ana ahau ki ngā taupānga whakaipoipo, engari ko te tikanga tawhito taku e hiahia ana". Ahakoa he pai te whai i ngā manakohanga whaiaro mō te tīmatanga o te whakaipoipo, kāore e taea e koe te wareware i te nui o ngā taupānga whakaipoipo ka whakanui ake i ō tupono ki te kimi aroha. Ko tāu "he aha ahau i takakau ai", tera pea he whakautu māmā penei: kāore koe e ngana nui ana kia kaua e takakau.
Ngāna kia nui ake te whakahoahoa me te haere ki ngā huihuinga maha atu. Tonoa ō hoa kia whakarite i tētahi e mōhio ana rātou ki a koe. Kei te rapu koe i tētahi hei noho tahi māu mō te toenga o tō oranga. Me i ngāwari noa iho te kimi i a rātou, tera pea he ahua whakapae, tika?
8. He raruraru tōu mō te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō
Ka taea e koe te whakatenatena i a koe anō kei te tino hiahia koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga, engari ki te mea i ia wā ka kite koe i tētahi tangata ātaahua, ka whakaaro koe ki a koe anō, "Kāore rātou i te rite ki ahau. E kore rawa rātou e hiahia ki ahau," tera pea kei te tuku tohu ā-waha koe kāore koe e aro ana.
Mā te iti o te whakaaro ki a koe anō ka whakapono koe kāore he tangata e hiahia ana ki te whakaipoipo i a koe. Ina whakapono koe ki tēnā, tērā pea ka ārai koe i te tangata kia kaua e whakatata atu ki a koe nā te mea kei te tuku tohu koe e kī ana kāore koe e hiahia ki te kōrero ki a rātou.
"Ahakoa ka taea te whakatika i ngā take whakaaro nui ki a koe anō me te tautoko a tētahi hoa pea, ka raru pea ina kore koe e kaha ki te whakamātau i a koe anō i roto i ngā āhuatanga hou pēnei i te kōrero ki tētahi tangata hou. Ki te kore koe e whakapuaki i tō aroha ki tētahi, e kore e taea te kimi i tētahi tangata ka taea e koe te hono atu," te kī a Geetarsh.
Hei tāna anō, "Ka kitea e te katoa te momo hoa e pai ana mō rātou, he mea whakamātau noa iho. Ina ngā take kore haumaru "Mēnā ka kore koe e hiahia ki te rapu me te whakawhanake i ngā whanaungatanga ki te tangata, me mihi koe ki a rātou, me mahi hoki ki a rātou."
Ko ngā take o te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō i ahu mai i te koretake me te ruarua ki a koe anō. Whakauru atu ki ngā mahi whakaaroaro, whakaarohia te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whakaora, whakaarohia he aha koe ka whakahe ai i a koe anō. Kia aroha koe ki a koe anō, ka ngāwari te aroha ki tētahi atu. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te pātai ki a koe anō i ngā mea pēnei i te, "Ka noho takakau tonu ahau?"
9. Ehara koe i te tino pai ki te whanaungatanga
Whitikihia ō whitiki, tera pea ka mamae tēnei. Mena i mutu ō whanaungatanga o mua i te wehenga kino, ā, kei te pātai koe ki a koe anō, "Kāore au i te mōhio he aha ahau i takakau ai", tera pea nāu i pana atu te tangata.
I mua i te huri i ō kanohi i tēnei wā ka neke atu ki te wā e whai ake nei, ngana ki te mahara mēnā ko koe pea te tangata tuatahi i ngaro tō manawanui i roto i ngā tautohe. Tērā pea i whakahē koe i ngā tono mō te wāhi whaiaro, i nui rawa rānei ō tumanakohanga i tō hoa.
Whakaarohia mēnā ehara koe i te hoa pai rawa atu, engari kaua e whakapae i a koe anō mō ngā mea katoa i hē. Pānuihia ngā kōrero mō te pupuri i tētahi hononga hauora me tētahi atu, ā, me ngana kia noho hei hoa pai rawa atu māu.
10. Whakatata atu ki te kēmu whakaipoipo i te ara tika
Ahakoa ka whakaarohia e koe te tohu nama 7, ka tīmata ki te whakapau kaha, ka maumauria pea ō mahi mēnā kāore koe e mahi i te huarahi tika. Mā Geetarsh tātou e āwhina ki te mārama me pēhea te whakatata atu ki te kēmu whakaipoipo i te huarahi tika. "Tuatahi, kaua e hohoro, kaua e kahakina ina tukuna mai e tetahi ētahi karere pai ki a koe."
"He māmā noa te tuku i te aroha nui kia mau, engari kia kaua e tukua tō hinengaro moemoeā kia hinga i a koe. Whakaarohia te tirohanga whānui ina kōrero koe ki tētahi, kaua hoki e mahi ohorere. Kei te kī tonu ahau ki aku kiritaki kia ata noho i a rātou e ngana ana ki te kimi i tētahi e hiahia ana rātou kia noho tahi mō te toenga o ō rātou oranga. Ehara i te whakatau e tika ana kia hohoro te tangata."
"Me whakarite hoki kia ōrite koe ki te taumata hinengaro o tētahi, kaua ki te āhua o ō kare ā-roto i a rātou. Ko te whanaungatanga hinengaro me te whanaungatanga kare ā-roto ngā mea matua e pupuri ana i te whanaungatanga, ahakoa ka memeha haere te aroha, ā, ka whakakapia e te aroha pumau."
11. Kāore anō kia puta mai te "tangata tika" māu
He āhua moemoeā tēnei, engari tera pea kei te takakau tonu koe nā te mea kāore anō kia tae mai te tangata tika māu. Kaua e manukanuka, ehara i te mea kotahi anake te hoa wairua e tatari ana ki a koe i tēnei ao whānui. He maha ngā wā ka tūtaki te tangata ki ngā hoa wairua maha i roto i ō rātou ao.
Ina tae mai te tangata tika ki a koe, ka taea e koe te rongo i taua mea. Kaua e ngana ki te hohoro rawa te aroha heoi anō, kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakawehi i a rātou i mua i te taenga mai o te kai reka ki tō tēpu!
Ehara te tatari mō 'te hoa rangatira' i te rautaki pai. Mā ō tumanako ka pouri koe i ngā wā katoa, ā, ka nui ake tō whiriwhiri i te tikanga, ka ngaro atu i a koe he maha ngā wheako pai me ngā tāngata rerekē. Kaua e tino whiriwhiri ki te kimi i te hoa tika… ina tae mai rātou ki a koe, ka puta mai rātou.
Te pānui e pā ana: Ngā Mantra 12 mō te Noho Takakau Harikoa i a Koe e Takakau Ana
"He aha ahau i takakau tonu ai?" he pātai tēnei e maha ngā whakautu. Ko te mea nui kia maumahara ko te tika kia arohaina koe, pērā i te katoa, ā, i tēnei wā, me ngana koe ki te whakapakari i a koe anō kia noho hei hoa pai rawa atu māu.
Kaua e manukanuka rawa mō te 'ka noho takakau tonu ahau', hangaia he kōtaha taupānga whakaipoipo, haere ki ētahi rōpū e tū ana ō hoa, ā, whakawhanaunga atu i tō mua. Kāore pea koe e kite wawe i te aroha, engari i te iti rawa ka kitea e koe ētahi wharekai pai!
FAQs
Ka taea e te tangata te noho takakau nā te mea kāore i te tino mōhiotia, nā ngā take rānei kāore i te tino mārama, nā ngā wheako mamae rānei o mua. I ētahi wā, he nui te wehenga uaua hei whakamutu i te hononga a te tangata mō tētahi wā, i ētahi wā rānei kāore noa iho rātou e hiahia ki te whai wāhi ki tētahi whanaungatanga.
Ae, he mea noa te noho takakau mō te wā roa. Ka taea e koe te kitea te harikoa ahakoa kāore koe i roto i te whanaungatanga, ā, ka nui ake te wā hei aro ki a koe anō, ki tō mahi rānei mēnā he takakau koe. He mea noa te noho takakau mō te wā roa, ā, he mea hauora pea i te nuinga o te wā.
Akoranga e kī ana rātou he nui ake te harikoa o te hunga takakau i ngā āhuatanga pāpori ōrite i te hunga e whai hononga ana. He nui ake hoki ngā hoa piripono o te hunga takakau, ā, he nui ake hoki te makona ki te mahi. Ahakoa he āhua hinengaro takitahi te harikoa, ka taea te tautohe he nui ake te harikoa o te hunga takakau.
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