Me whakapāha ahau ki taku hoa o mua? 13 ngā take hei whakaaroaro

"Me whakapāha ahau ki taku hoa o mua, me tuku rānei?" He pakanga mutunga kore tēnei i waenganui i te ngākau me te hinengaro. I ētahi wā ka whakatuwhera ahau i te Snapchat ka kite ahau i ngā whakaahua o māua ko taku hoa o mua i ngā tau e rima ki muri, ā, ka whai tonu mai ko te hiahia ohorere ki te wetewete i a ia me te waea atu ki a ia, ehara i te mea hei tīmata anō i ngā mea engari hei tirotiro noa, hei pātai atu mō tōna āhua, ā, hei kōrero pea mō te wehenga me te tuku whakamārama mō taku wāhi i roto i tēnā. 

Hei tauira, he maha ngā wā ka whakaaro ahau mēnā he nui rawa taku kaha ki a ia, kāore rānei i hoatu e au ki a ia te mea i tika māna. Tērā pea i tino mau ahau ki aku raruraru, ā, ka matapo ahau ki ana hiahia. I te mutunga, ka tīmata ēnei whakaaro katoa ki te whakararuraru i tōku hinengaro, ā, ko tāku anake e hiahia ana ko te waea atu ki a ia me te whakatika i ngā mea katoa. 

Ki taku e kite nei, ehara ko au anake te tangata e pāngia ana e tēnei raruraru. Ko te hunga kua pāngia e te wā o te wehenga, e mōhio pai ana ki tēnei tauira. Ko ngā mea iti rawa e whakaoho ana i a koe ka taka ki raro i te rua o te hara me te pouri. Ā, kei reira koe e tito ana i ngā mea hei kōrero ki tō hoa o mua i roto i tōu mahunga. Ina tupu tēnā, me tīmata, me kore rānei koe e tīmata ki te whakapā atu, me te whakakore i ngā mea i roto i tō uma? Kati te tango i ngā rau o te aroha, kei a mātou tō tuara. I roto i tēnei tuhinga, kua kohia e mātou ētahi tohutohu whai hua hei taahiraa tuatahi hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau mēnā he pai te hono atu anō ki tō hoa o mua hei whakapāha.

He whakaaro pai rānei te whakapāha ki tētahi hoa o mua?

Ahakoa kāore pea e tika ana, e whai hua rānei i ngā wā katoa, tera ētahi wā ka taea te tuku whakapāha hei taahiraa pai. Ka rukuhia e tēnei tuhinga ngā āhuatanga rerekē o te whakapāha i muri i te wehenga, me te tirotiro i te wā ka taea ai te whakarato te kati i muri i te wehenga, whakatairanga i te tipu whaiaro, āwhina rānei ki te whakaora i ngā patunga tawhito. Me tūhuratia ētahi āhuatanga:

Mena i whakarērea koe e tō hoa o mua nā te mea i mahia e koe tētahi hapa

Mā te whakatau mēnā me whakapāha koe ki tētahi hoa o mua i mutu te whanaungatanga nā tētahi hapa i mahia e koe, ka ara ake te maha o ngā kare ā-roto whakarihariha. Ahakoa te whakaaro noa ki te hono anō ki tō hoa o mua, ka ara ake te hara, ā, ka whakaroa koe i te whakatau. 

He pai rānei te whakapāha ki tētahi hoa o mua i roto i tēnei āhuatanga? Ki te tino whakapono koe i hē koe, he pono tō whakapāha, ā, ka taea e tēnei te whakaoti i te raruraru mō ngā taha e rua, he pai pea te whakaaro ki tēnā. Heoi anō, kia maumahara ki ngā kare ā-roto me ngā hiahia o tō hoa o mua, te wā, me te pānga pea ki tō oranga ngākau ahakoa he whakapāha pono.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Huarahi Tika ki te Whakamahi i te Mana o te Wahangu i muri i te Wehenga

Ki te mea i tinihanga koe

Ko te whakapāha mō te tinihanga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga he mea tika kia whakaae ki te mamae me te tinihanga i puta. Kia mahara koe whakapāha pono mō te whara i a rātou me te kore e rapu whakamārama. Kia aroha ki te mamae i pā ki a koe, me te tuku i te whakapumautanga o tō whakapau kaha ki te whakatika i ngā hapa. Heoi, kia mārama koe kāore e taea te whakamana i te murunga hara me te houhanga rongo, ā, me whakaute ngā kare ā-roto me ngā whakatau a te tangata kē.

Ki te mea i whati i a koe ō rātou ngākau

He tohu aroha me te ngākau aroha te whakapāha mō te whara i te ngākau o tētahi, inā koa mēnā he pono tō pouri mō āu mahi, ā, e mārama ana koe ki te mamae o te ngākau i pā mai ki a koe. Me whakaatu tō whakapāha i te ngākau pouri pono, te ngākau aroha, me te mōhio ki tō rātou mamae. Heoi, kia rite mō te tūponotanga kāore pea te whakapāha e whakaora tonu i tō rātou mamae, e kore rānei e hua ake he murunga hara. He mea nui kia whakautehia ō rātou kare ā-roto me ā rātou whakataunga, me te hoatu ki a rātou te wāhi e hiahiatia ana e rātou. ora, haere tonu.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te muru i a koe anō mō ​​te tinihanga me te kore kōrero – 8 Ngā Tohutohu Āwhina

Me whakapāha ahau ki taku hoa o mua? 13 ngā take hei whakaaroaro

rangahau e kī ana ko te noho hoa tonu ki ngā hoa o mua nā te mea i hunaia ō rātou kare ā-roto ki a rātou i hua ake ai ngā hua kino, engari ko te noho hoa tonu nā te mea he haumaru, he take mahi hoki i hua ake ai ngā hua pai ake. Nō reira, ko te pātai o te wā ko… Kei te whakapāha koe ki tō hoa o mua nā te mea i hunaia ō rātou kare ā-roto, nā te mea rānei e hiahia ana koe kia noho atawhai, ā, kāore koe e hiahia kia mau tonu ō rātou mauahara ki a koe? Whakaarohia ēnei pātai hei whakatau whakaaro nui:

1. Kei te whakama koe?

Ko te whakapāha ki tō hoa o mua i muri i ngā tau, i ngā wiki, i ngā marama rānei i muri i te wehenga, he mea tika anake mēnā i tino mamae rātou i a koe, ā, he uaua tonu te whakakore i te hara. Nō reira, i mua i te tuhituhi i taua karere whakapāha ki te hoa tāne/wahine, pātai atu ki a koe anō:

• I tukinotia rātou e koe i te tinana, i te hinengaro rānei?
• I huna rānei rātou e koe, ā, kāore anō kia pakeke koe ki te wehe i a koe anō?
• I tahuna e koe rātou ki te hau, i te kore aro ki ngā kare ā-roto i tinihanga rānei koe i a rātou?

He uaua ki te wareware i ngā āhuatanga pēnei. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, me whakapāha koe ki tō hoa o mua, nā te mea kua nui pea te kino o te ngākau nāu i whakararu. Ko koe pea te take e raru ai rātou i te whakawhirinaki. Ki te mea he pono tō whakapāha, ka tau te rangimārie ki a koe, ā, ka āwhina i a koe ki te ora, me whakapāha koe ki tō hoa o mua.

Me pēhea te whakapāha ki tētahi hoa o mua? Me kī atu, "Aroha mai mō ngā mamae katoa i pā ki a koe. He tino tamariki rawa ahau, ā, kāore koe i tika kia pērā te āhua. E mōhio ana ahau me i mōhio ahau ki te mea pai ake. He maha ngā mea kua akohia e au, ā, kei te ngana ahau kia pai ake te noho hei tangata. Ko taku tumanako ka murua ahau e koe i tētahi rā."

2. He huarahi tēnei hei akiaki i a rātou kia whakapāha?

Kei te pātai tonu mai taku hoa, a Paul, "Me whakapāha ahau ki taku te hoa o mua i whakarērea ahau"Tērā pea kei te pouri hoki ia mō āna mahi i mua i te mutunga o te whanaungatanga." He tauira matarohia tēnei o te whakapāha he herenga. E hiahia ana a Paul ki te whakapāha ehara i te mea nā te mea kei te pouri ia engari nā te mea e hiahia ana ia kia pouri tana hoa o mua mō āna mahi, kia tono hoki kia murua ia. Nō reira, ki te mea ko tāu whāinga he whiwhi whakapāha hei utu, kaua e whakapāha ki tō hoa o mua. Kāore he whakapāha e pai ake ana i te whakapāha e tukuna ana me ngā hiahia whaiaro me ngā hiahia huna.

Te pānui e pā ana: 9 Ngā Take Pea e Whakaaroaro Tonu Ana Koe ki tō Hoa o Mua

3. He take noa iho tēnei hei kōrero ki a rātou?

Kia pono ki a koe anō. Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakapāha ki tētahi hoa o mua nā te mea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakaae i te kawenga mō āu mahi, nā te mea rānei e hiahia ana koe ki te whakarongo anō ki tōna reo? Nā te mea rānei tēnei? kāore e taea te mutu te whakaaro ki tō hoa o muaKei te maumahara noa koe ki ngā wā pai, ā, kei te ārai i ngā wā kino katoa?

Ki te mea he āe te whakautu, katihia tō kaupapa inaianei tonu. Haere ki te hikoi. Mātakihia he whakaaturanga Netflix whakamere. Whakaotia taua whakaaturanga e tatari ana mai i te mahi. Noho tahi me ō mātua ka kata i runga i ngā karere WhatsApp ngoikore. Haere ki te whare whakapaipai ka huri i tō makawe. Waea atu ki tō hoa pai. Waea atu ki tetahi atu engari ko tō hoa o mua. Whakararuraru i a koe.

4. I whakarērea koe ināianei?

Nō nā tata nei, i kōrero mai taku hoa mahi, a Sarah, ki ahau, "Me whakapā atu ahau ki taku hoa o mua i muri i te kahore whakapā"Kua mutu te whanaungatanga i roto i ahau i muri i taku wehenga atu i a ia. Kāore i tika te kōrero ki tētahi o mua i a au e whakaipoipo ana, engari nā te mea kua takakau ahau, kei te hiahia ahau ki te mihi ki taku o mua mō te mahi pōuri."

Nā te wehenga o te hoa rangatira i puta ai he mamae tawhito i roto i a ia. Me whakakī tonu e ia te āputa i tēnei wā tonu. E hiahia ana hoki ia ki te whakararu i te whanaungatanga o nāianei o tana hoa rangatira o mua. E mārama ana koe ki a ia? Ki te taea e koe, kaua e tuku i taua karere whakapāha ki tō hoa tāne. Kāore he hua o te whakapāha i muri i te wehenga o te hoa rangatira māu.

5. Ka taea e koe te mutu i te whakapāha?

rangahau kua kitea e 71% o te hunga kāore e hoki tahi me ā rātou hoa o mua, 15% anake o te hunga e hoki tahi ana, ka noho tahi, ā, tata ki te 14% ka houhia te rongo engari ka wehe anō. I mua i tō mahi i tō hiahia ki te whakaara anō i te aroha mā te whakapāha, kia mōhio koe he nui ngā tūponotanga ka pā ki a koe. Kāore e tika ana te whakapāha ki tētahi hoa o mua i muri i ngā tau maha, ā, ka taka ki te rua rāpeti o te pōhēhē.

Nō reira, pātai atu ki a koe anō, "Me whakapāha ahau ki taku hoa o mua i whakarērea ahau? Me mutu taku whakapāha? Kei te mahi ahau i tēnei nā te mea kei te pirangi au ki te whakaoho anō i te whanaungatanga ki a rāua?" Mena ka taea e tō "Aroha mai" te huri hei "Āe, me whakamātau anō tāua", whakapono mai he pai ake te kore whakapāha, te kore rānei e whara anō i ō rāua ngākau.

Te pānui e pā ana: He whai hua te ture kore whakapā i muri i te wehenga? Ngā whakautu a ngā tohunga

6. Kua neke atu koe?

Kāore tō kōrua whanaungatanga e hiahia ana kia tirohia anō i ngā wā katoa; ko te waiata anake Raumati o '69 e mahi ana. Nō reira, pātai atu ki a koe anō, kua neke atu koe? Ki te mea kei te kimi take koe hei kōrero anō ki a rātou, kāore anō koe kia neke atu i a rātou. Ki te mea kāore tō whakaaro i te tika, tera pea ka whakaroa noa tēnei whakapāha i te tukanga katoa o te neke, kaua e whakatata atu ki te whakaora. Ina koa mēnā kāore koe i mahi he.

Nō reira, hei utu mō te pōuri kāore e whiwhi i te katinga, ka taea e koe,

• Whakamahia ōu kaha ki te waihanga i ngā maharatanga hou
• Whakarerea atu ngā mea a tō hoa o mua
• Kati te pātai ki ō hoa mō te āhua o tō hoa o mua
• Hono atu anō ki a koe anō (tuhia ngā wāhi e hiahia ana koe ki te tūhura me ngā kai e hiahia ana koe ki te whakamātau) · Arotahi ki ngā painga o te wehenga, me te whakanui i tō herekoretanga.

7. Ka taea e koe te muru i a koe anō me te kore e whakapāha?

Engari kaua e aro nui ki ngā pātai pēnei i te, "Kua roa rawa te whakapāha ki tētahi hoa o mua?" "He whakaaro pai rānei te whakapāha ki tētahi hoa o mua?", tahurihia tō aro ki roto, ka pātai, "He aha ahau i hiahia ai ki te rapu i te murunga hara a taku hoa o mua? Ka taea e au te muru i a au anō me te kore e whakapāha ki a rātou?" Mena kua taea e koe te motu i ngā hononga me te tino uaua, kua tino uaua rānei tētahi o kōrua ki te neke atu, he pai ake pea te mahi tonu. te muru i a koe ano mō tō wāhanga i roto i te wehenga, kaua e rapu i te murunga hara a tō hoa o mua. Ka taea e koe te tango i ngā akoranga kua akohia e koe, ka whakamahi i aua akoranga ki tō whanaungatanga e whai ake nei. Kāore i te roa rawa mō tēnā.

Mena he mamae tō wehenga, tera pea ka whakahē tō hoa o mua i tō whakapāha. Ka taea e ia te kī pēnei, "Kāore au i te whakaaro ka taea e au te muru i tō mamae i pā mai ki a koe. Kāore koe e tika ana kia murua e au. E kino ana ahau ki a koe, ā, e pouri ana ahau mō te piripono ki a koe."

Koinei te āhuatanga kino rawa atu, engari ki te kore koe e rite mō ēnei tauhohenga kino, kaua e whakapāha ki tō hoa o mua. Nō reira, he pai ake te ngana ki te muru i a koe anō i te inoi kia murua rātou, ahakoa he mea ngāwari ake tēnei ki te kōrero i te mahi.

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8. E hiahiatia ana te whakapāha, kei te whiu noa rānei koe i a koe anō?

Tērā pea i nui ake āu i tumanako ai i a koe anō, ā, kāore e taea e koe te aro ki ngā mea i mahia e koe. Kāore he aha te pouri. I hē koe, ā, kua ngaro katoa ināianei. I taua wā, i whara koe, ā, kāore koe i te mōhio kei te whakahoki anō koe i ngā tauira tawhito, kei te pakaru rānei ō rātou ngākau. He pai ki te hinengaro huna te whakahoki mai i ngā maharatanga tawhito. Kaua e taka ki roto i ngā mahanga o "Āe, me i...", "Aue, me i..." rānei. He take i puta ai te katoa.

Me pātai pea koe ki a koe anō, "He pai te whakapāha ki tētahi hoa o mua?" He pai ake pea te whakatau i ēnei kare ā-roto pōrearea māu ake. Anei ētahi mea ka taea e koe te whakamātau:

• Tuhia ō kare ā-roto katoa kua pehia, tukua atu rānei mā te kanikani, te peita, te whakakorikori tinana rānei
• Engari kaua e whiu i a koe anō, tīmata ki te mahi i ngā mahi matatau hei whakawhanake i tō kōrero, i tō whanonga, i ō whakaaro, me ō mahi.
• Tangohia te ara o te whakaae me te whakaaroaro
• Whakamahia te aroātahi me te whakaaroaro kia kitea ai te aroha ki a koe anō me te aroha · Puritia he pukapuka whakawhetai, ā, tuhia ki roto i ia rā.

Te pānui e pā ana: 7 Ngā Wāhanga o te Pōuri i Muri i te Wehenga: Ngā Tohutohu hei Neke Atu

9. Kua pakeke kē tō hoa o mua?

Kei te whakaaro tonu koe, "Me whakapā atu ahau ki taku hoa o mua?" Ahakoa ka whakapāha koe, whakaarohia te tauhohenga pea a tō hoa o mua.

• Ka riri rātou, ā, ka kino ake tōu āhua?
• Ka tangohia rānei e rātou hei tohu kāore anō koe kia wareware i a rātou? Kāore rānei, ka whakaaetia e rātou tēnei whakapāha, ka muru i te hara, ka neke atu?
• E whakaae rānei rātou ki tēnei whakapāha, e muru hara, ā, ka neke atu?

Ahakoa te āta whakatakoto i ngā mea hei kōrero māu ki tō hoa o mua, mēnā i pērā koe te whakaipoipo i tētahi tangata koretake ā, ki te wehe atu i a rātou mō te mea he paitini, tera pea ka koretake tā rātou whakautu. Kaua e wareware ki ā rātou tohu whero. Nō reira, me noho rite koe mō ngā momo tauhohenga katoa. Kati mēnā e mōhio ana koe ka whara koe i tā rātou tauhohenga. Kāore pea rātou e muru i tō hara i taua wā tonu, ā, me pai koe ki tēnā. Me whakapāha noa mēnā kāore he tumanakohanga. Ko tō hiahia kia mutu te whanaungatanga me te tuku i te hara kia taea ai e koe te neke haere i runga i te rangimārie.

10. Kei te pāngia koe e tētahi wā uaua?

Kua whakarerea pea ō mātua. Kei te whakamate noa rānei tō mahi i a koe i roto. Kua mate rānei tētahi e tata ana ki a koe. Ka taea e ēnei āhuatanga te whakaoho i te mamae tawhito. Waihoki, i ēnei wā ngoikore, tera pea ka whakaaro koe ko te hononga ki te tangata i tata ki a koe i mua ka pai ake tō wairua. Nō reira, ko tēnei hiahia ki te whakapāha he take pea nō te mokemoke me te hiahia ki tētahi pakihiwi hei tangihanga. Ehara i te whakapāha pono. I tēnei āhuatanga, ko te whakautu ki te pātai "Me whakapāha ahau ki taku hoa o mua?" ko te kāo. Ko te whakapau wā ki a koe anō pea te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe.

11. He aha ngā kare ā-roto i pā ki a koe i tō whanaungatanga?

Kia maumahara ki a koe anō i taua raruraru me te mamae katoa i mua i te pātai, "Me whakapāha ahau ki taku hoa o mua mō te mahi kino?"

• He mea paitini rānei, ā, whanaungatanga whakawhirinaki tahi?
• I whakangaromia kōrua e ia i roto?
• I roto i taua whanaungatanga, kua huri koe hei putanga kē atu o koe? 
• I tangi koe i te nuinga o ō rā?

Ko te mea porangi pea ko te hiahia kia hoki anō ki taua wheako mamae ahakoa kua wehe kē koe i a rātou mō te mea he paitini. Mena kua tinihanga tō hoa o mua i a koe, ā, ehara i a koe te he, kāore he take e whakamārama ai i ā rātou mahi hē. Kaua e whakapae i a koe anō, kaua rawa e kī pēnei i te, "Aroha mai kāore au i hoatu i te wā nui ki a koe. Koinei pea te take i tinihanga ai koe." Kāore e tika ana tā rātou tinihanga, ā, kāore koe e tika kia whakapāha rātou.

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12. He pai te kore whakapā atu ki a koe?

Ko te te mahi a te ture kore-pa He pai rawa atu koe? Kua ora ake koe i a koe anō mai i tō mutunga kōrero ki tō hoa o mua? Mena he āe te whakautu, he mea pai tēnā - kaua e tukua kia hinga koe i tētahi wā ngoikore. Kaua e whakapāha. Ko te whakahaere i a koe anō te mea anake e hiahiatia ana e koe. Rapua ngā mea hei whakararuraru i a koe anō kia pahemo rā anō te whakamatautauranga.

13. He āhua auau te noho whakapā atu ki ō hoa o mua?

I taku whakapāha ki taku hoa o mua, ā, kāore ia i whakautu mai, ka mōhio ahau he tauira whanonga hohonu ake tēnei. He nui ake ngā hoa o mua, he nui ake ngā whakapāha. I mōhio ahau kei te aukati ahau i tōku harikoa mā te pupuri i ngā maharatanga tawhito ki te taha o tōku ngākau maru. Ka taea anake te huri i tētahi rau hou mēnā kua pakaru, kua warewarehia hoki ngā rau tawhito, maroke. Kua tae ki te wā kia tino mohio kei muri i a koe ngā mea o mua.

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Me pēhea te whakatika i te hē me tētahi hoa o mua

He mahi uaua, he mahi whakararuraru hoki te whakapāha ki tō hoa o mua. Ahakoa i ahu mai te whakapāha i te pouri mō ngā mahi o mua, ko te te hiahia kia kati te, te hiahia rānei ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga pakaru, me āta whakaaroaro me te whai whakaaro pono ki te kore koe e hiahia ki te kōrero he.

Ko te whakatau ki te whakapāha me ahu mai i te pouri me te aroha pono, kaua i ngā kaupapa huna, pērā i te whakaoho anō i te aroha. Kei roto i tēnei aratohu taahiraa-i-te-taahiraa ngā māramatanga whai hua mō te whakatere i te tukanga o te tuku whakapāha pono, me te whakarite kia whai whakaaro nui, kia whakaute, kia arotahi hoki tō whakapāha ki te whakatairanga i te māramatanga, te whakaora, me te tipu whaiaro, ahakoa ka arahi ki te houhanga rongo, kāore rānei. Anei ētahi tohutohu mō te mihi ki tō hoa o mua:

1. Whakaarohia ōu kaupapa

I mua i te whakapā atu ki tētahi hoa o mua, me whakaaroaro pono koe. Arotakehia mēnā ko tō hiahia ki te whakapāha i ahu mai i te pouri pono mō ngā mahi o mua, i te hiahia rānei ki te hono anō, ki te whakamama rānei i tō ake hara. Pātai atu ki a koe anō:

• Kei te rapu au i te mutunga, kei te ngana rānei au ki te whakaara anō i ngā kare ā-roto tawhito?
• Ka āwhina rānei te whakapāha i a tāua tokorua? neke tonu, he huarahi rānei tēnei hei whakamama i tōku mamae?

Hei tauira, ki te kite koe he take noa iho te whakapāha hei whakahoki anō i te whanaungatanga i a koe e mokemoke ana, he pai ake pea te arotahi ki te whakaora whaiaro i te tuatahi. 

2. Whiriwhiria te waa tika

He mea nui te wā tika hei whakarite kia manakohia tō whakapāha. Tukua he wā e tika ana i muri i te wehenga kia tau ai ngā kare ā-roto—mā tēnei ka ārai i te whakapāha kia kitea he mea ohorere, he mea tinihanga rānei. Mena kei waenganui tonu tō hoa o mua i te te tukatuka i te wehenga mēnā rānei kei te pāngia koe e ētahi atu wero o te ao, he pai ake pea te whakaroa i tō whakatata atu.

3. Whakatauhia te tikanga

Ka pā pea te huarahi e whakapāha ai koe ki te whiwhinga o tō karere. Whakaarohia ō tauira whakawhitiwhiti kōrero o mua me ngā mea e pai ana ki tō hoa o mua ina whakatau ana koe i waenga i:

• Ngā hui kanohi ki te kanohi, ngā waea rānei: Mā ēnei ka taea te urupare wawe tonu, ā, ka taea hoki te whakaatu i te pono mā te reo tinana.
• Ngā reta, ngā karere rānei kua tuhia: Mā te reta, mā te karere rānei ka wātea ngā taha e rua ki te whakaaroaro ki ngā kupu, me te kore e pēhia e tētahi kōrero tika, ora.

Hei tauira, mēnā he matihiko te nuinga o ngā taunekeneke o mua, ko te tuku karere kua ata whakaarohia he pai ake te āhua, ā, he nui ake te whakaute i te wāhi o tō hoa o mua.

4. Tuhia he whakapāha pono

Me mārama, me tika, me mārama hoki tō whakapāha mō tō kawenga. Whakamāramahia ngā mahi, ngā whanonga rānei e pouri ana koe, kaua e tuku whakapāha noa iho. Kaua e whakamārama i tō whanonga; engari, whakaae ki te kawenga katoa mō āu mahi.

Hei tauira, he tika ake, he whai tikanga ake te kī atu "Aroha mai mō te kore i reira i te wā i hiahia tautoko ai koe" i te kī noa "Aroha mai mō ngā mea katoa." 

5. Whakaatuhia te pouri

A whakapāha pono me whakauru he whakapuakitanga o te pouri e whakaae ana ki te mamae i puta. Kei roto i tēnei ko:

• Te aroha: Kia mōhio me te whakamana i te mamae kare ā-roto i puta mai i āu mahi.
• Whakamihi: Whakahuatia mārama te pānga kino o tō whanonga, pērā i te "E mārama ana ahau he nui te mamae o aku mahi i a koe."

Mā te whakapuaki i te pouri i tēnei ara e whakaatu ana kua ako koe i ō hapa, engari e whakaute ana hoki koe i ngā wheako kare ā-roto o tō hoa o mua.

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6. Whakaaetia ō rātou kare ā-roto

Te whakamana kare-a-roto He wāhanga nui tēnei o te whakapāha pono. Whakatenatenahia tō hoa o mua kia whakapuaki i ōna kare ā-roto, kia whakamanahia hoki aua kare ā-roto, me te kore e whakaroa. Whakamahia he reo e whakaatu ana i te māramatanga, hei tauira, "E mōhio ana ahau nā taku whanonga koe i kore ai e whai tikanga, i tinihangatia hoki."

He mea nui tēnei taahiraa hei whakaatu kāore koe e aro noa ki te whakaiti i tō ake hara, engari e aroha ana hoki koe ki te pānga o āu mahi ki a rātou.

7. Āta karohia te tiaki

Kia oti i a koe te whakapāha, kia rite ki te whiwhi urupare. He mea nui kia whakarongo, kaua e whakararuraru: Ahakoa he mea nui te urupare, tukua tō hoa o mua kia tino whakapuaki i ō rātou kare ā-roto me te kore e noho hei parepare. Whakaaetia ngā whakahē whai hua hei wāhanga o te tukanga whakaora, me te mārama he whakaata tēnei i te āhua o ō rātou kare ā-roto, kaua i te whakaeke whaiaro ki tō āhua.

Hei tauira, ki te tohu mai tō hoa o mua i ngā whanonga tino mamae, me whakaae ki aua kitenga kaua e whakahē ki ngā whakamārama. 

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8. Whakautehia tā rātou whakautu

Kāore pea tō whakapāha e arahi tonu ki te murunga hara, ki te houhanga rongo rānei. He mea nui kia mārama koe me nui ake te wā e hiahiatia ana e tō hoa o mua, kāore rānei e tino murua ō hara, ā, kei tua atu i tō mana whakahaere tēnā. Ki te whakatau tō hoa o mua kia kaua e kōrero anō, whakautehia taua kōwhiringa me te kore e akiaki kia kōrero anō.

9. Hoatu he wāhi

I muri i te tuku i tō whakapāha, tukua tō hoa o mua kia whai wāhi ki te whakahaere i taua mea i tana ake tere. Kaua e whai ake i te nui rawa o te kōrero; tatari kia whakapā atu tō hoa o mua mēnā kei te hiahia ia ki te kōrero atu. Whakautehia tōna hiahia mō te noho mokemoke, ka taea ai e tēnei te arahi ki tētahi whakataunga whakaaroaro me te pono.

10. Kia mau tonu te tipu whaiaro

Ahakoa te whakautu a tō hoa o mua, whakamahia tēnei wheako hei whai wāhitanga mōu ki te whakapai ake i a koe anō. Ko ngā mahi hei whakaaroaro māu ko:

• Ngā mahi whakaaroaro: Whakauru atu ki te tuhi i ō whakaaro, te whakaaroaro, te tuku tohutohu rānei hei tukatuka i ō mahi, hei ako hoki i aua mahi.
• Whakapūmau ki te huringa: Arotahi ki ngā whanonga me ngā tauira ka taea e koe te whakapai ake hei ārai i ngā huringa o te heke mai ngā hapa i roto i ngā whanaungatanga.

Hei tauira, mā te whai wāhi atu ki tētahi kaupapa whakawhanake whaiaro, mā te rapu tohutohu rānei mai i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro, ka āwhina i a koe ki te hanga whanaungatanga hauora ake mō te anga whakamua. He mea nui tēnei whakapau kaha ki te tipu mō tō ake oranga ngākau me te angitu o tō whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei.

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Kia maumahara ko te angitu o tō whakapāha ka rerekē pea i runga i ngā āhuatanga motuhake o tō whanaungatanga me ngā kare ā-roto o tō hoa o mua mō te wehenga. Kia manawanui, kia mārama hoki, kia arotahi ki tō whakaoranga me te mutunga. I mua i te tango i tēnei peke, whakaaroaro hohonu, "Me whakapāha ahau ki taku hoa o mua mō te kino, me mahi rānei ahau ki a au anō?"

Ki te mea he tangata koe e hokihoki tonu ana ki te hunga kāore i te pai mōu, he pono kei reira ngā tauira hohonu ake kei te mahi. Mā te rapu āwhina ngaio mai i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro, i tētahi kaiako whanaungatanga rānei ka āwhina i a koe ki te mōhio ki te pūtake o tēnei tauira. Mā te ako mō tō momo piripono ka āwhina hoki i a koe ki te kimi i ngā whakautu kua roa e ngaro ana i a koe, me te mārama he aha koe e whakaaro ai me haere tonu koe ki te whakatikatika i ō hoa o mua.

Thoughts Final

Hei whakamutunga, me mutu tātou me tētahi kīanga nā Helena Bonham Carter, "[Ki te kore he whanaungatanga] e pumau tonu, ehara i te mea he hinganga. Ko te mea nui me tuku e koe te tangata kē kia tipu. Ā, ki te kore rātou e anga atu ana ki te huarahi kotahi, ahakoa te mamae o te ngākau, me mahi koe i te mea tika mō taua tipu. He uaua ki te mahi i tētahi mea ake ake nā te mea he poto rawa te ora."

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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