Me pēhea te whai i te tāne i a koe? Āe, e ai ki rangahau, e pai ake ana ngā tāne ki ngā wāhine atamai, hākinakina, māhorahora, pumau hei hoa mō te wā roa. Ko te pātai, me pēhea te whakaatu i te tāne kei a koe ngā mea katoa, me te mea anō hoki kia whaia koe e ia? E ai ki ētahi me mahi koe i ngā mea utu nui, me mahi kaha hoki kia riro mai ai i a koe te hiahia o te tāne.
Heoi, kāore mātou e whakapono ana he hononga e ahu mai ana i taua momo mahi tinihanga ka puāwai hei whanaungatanga hauora, whai hua hoki. Nō reira, ehara mātou i konei hei whakaako i a koe ki ngā mahi hinengaro. Engari, kei konei mātou hei whakarite kia noho noa koe, kia tukua ia kia haere mai ki a koe. E mea tonu ana taku māmā, "Kaua e whai i tētahi tāne, engari me whai i a ia kia whai i a koe." Nō reira, me pēhea te kore e whaia engari me kukume? Me pēhea te hanga i tētahi tāne kia nui ake te hiahia ki a koe? Me pēhea te hanga i tētahi tāne kia whaia koe? Pānuihia tonutia, kei a mātou ngā whakautu ki ō pātai nui katoa.
15 nga huarahi hei tiki i te tangata ki te whai ia koe
Ripanga o Ihirangi
A Reddit i tuhituhi te kaiwhakamahi, "Te tākaro uaua ki te tiki he āhua whakapatipati hinengaro, he āhua kare ā-roto hoki, ā, he tino whakapōrearea. Ki te whakairihia e koe te kāreti ka unuhia atu i ahau, ka ngana ki te akiaki i ahau kia whanonga i tētahi ara, kaua e noho hei pakeke whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ka ngaro katoa aku kare ā-roto, ā, kua mutu katoa taku mahi. Nō reira kia tūpato.” Mō tēnā, anei ētahi tohutohu tere hei akiaki i ngā tāne kia hiahia ki a koe me te kore he nekehanga mana…
1. Me pēhea te whai i tētahi tāne kia whaia koe: Kia noho hei wahine whai whakaaro nui
Me pēhea te akiaki i tētahi tāne kia whaia koe? Tīmata mā te te hanga i a koe anō kia ātete ki te tangata mā te noho hei wahine māia, mātau, motuhake hoki. Kia noho hei putanga pai rawa atu o koe:
- Whaia ō whāinga mahi
- Noho i tētahi oranga whai hua, kāore koe e hiahia ki tētahi hoa hei 'whakaoti' i a koe
- Whakatakotoria ngā whāinga e hiahia ana koe ki te puta atu i tō rohe whakamarie
Ko te mea nui ki te kimi me pēhea te kukume i te hiahia o tētahi tāne ki a koe ko te whakarite i a koe anō hei kaupapa matua i roto i tō ao. E aroha ana ngā tāne ki tētahi wahine kua mōhio ki te toi o te aroha ki a ia anō! Kaiārahi whakaipoipo Geetarsh Kaur e mea ana, "Ko tētahi mea e hiahiatia ana e ngā tāne i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga he tangata e whakapau kaha ana ki te whakapai ake i a rātou anō. He mea nui kia ātaahua, kia atawhai, kia hihiri hoki ngā taha e rua o te whanaungatanga."
2. Whiwhi i tōna whakawhirinaki
Kaua e whai i tētahi tāne, engari me whakaatu ki a ia he tangata koe hei whakawhirinaki atu māna. He aroha nui tō ngā tāne ki tētahi wahine hei whakawhirinaki atu mā rātou, hei tangata hei whakawhirinaki atu. Nō reira, kia whaia ai koe e tō hoa aroha, whakaaturia ki a ia ka taea e ia te whakawhirinaki pono ki a koe. Ki te hiahia koe kia aro mai te tangata, mahia tenei:
- Pātai atu ki a ia he pātai whai whakaaro/kia mōhio hohonu ki a ia
- Tū atu ki a ia i mua i ētahi atu
- Whakarongo pono ki a ia
3. Kia aroha ki te tangata
Me pēhea te kōrero ki tētahi tāne me te kore e whai i a ia? Kia nui ake te te aroha i roto i tō whanaungatanga tērā pea te rerekētanga i waenga i te whai i tētahi wairua aroha me te mārama, i tētahi rānei e tata tonu ana ki te aituā. Ki te karanga ia i a koe i roto i tētahi raruraru nā te mea ka taea e koe te whakanoho i a koe ki roto i ōna hu, he tohu tēnā e kite ana ia i a koe hei wahine whai uara nui.
"He maha ngā wā kua kite ahau i te wā e pāngia ana te whanaungatanga e te āputa kōrero, ka mutu pea te kōrero a te wahine pēnei i te, "Kāore koe e kōrero mai ki ahau, kāore koe e kōrero tika ana." Ehara pea i te mea kei te ngoikore te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, engari tera pea kāore ia e tino mārama ki tāna e kōrero nei. Ko te āheinga ki te mārama ki tāna e kōrero nei, me te hono atu ki tēnā, koinei te rautaki whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai rawa atu ka taea e koe te whakamahi. Engari kaua e tae ki ō ake whakatau, kia nui ake te aroha me te haepapa," te kī a Geetarsh.
4. Kia noho hei wāhi haumaru mōna
"E hiahia ana ahau kia whaia ahau e ia," ko tāu whakaaro tēnei ki a koe anō, engari kāore koe i te mōhio me pēhea. Mā te tuku whakaaro ki te mea kia whaia koe e ia, kia piripono hoki ki a ia, he Reddit I tuhituhi te kaiwhakamahi, "Ko te huarahi pai ki te whakaoho i te hiahia o ngā tāne ki a koe ko te whakawhanake i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora ki a rātou. Kia waiho koe hei puna o tōna harikoa, ā, ka whawhai ia kia mau tonu koe." Mena kei te mōhio koe ki te hinengaro tāne, ka mōhio koe ka whai ngā tāne i ngā wāhine ka taea te tuku atu i ngā mea nui atu i ō rātou tinana anake. E rapu ana rātou i te mahana, te whakamarie, te haumaru, me te hoa, pērā i ngā wāhine. Kia noho hei wāhi haumaru mōna, ā, kāore koe e manukanuka ki ngā huarahi hei meinga ia kia whiriwhiri i a koe.
Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Huarahi Hei Mōhio Mēnā Kei Te Aroha Ia Ki A Koe, Kei Te Hiahia Rānei Ki Te Ira Tangata
5. Kati te whai i a ia mēnā e hiahia ana koe kia whaia koe e ia
Kaua e whaia anō ngā tāne. Engari, whakamahia te Tuhinga o mua ina wehe atu ia. E tuhituhi ana te kaituhi a John Kim, "Ko te kore whai i te mea ehara i te mea kāore koe e hiahia nui, e whai rānei i ō moemoeā. Kei te kōrero ahau mō te hinengaro, te whāinga, te kaha, te wāhi e ahu mai ai tātou. Ko te kukume he āhua kī tonu i te mana kei reira koe:
- Te arotahi ki te whakapai ake i te hiahia
- Kaua e whakawhiti ko wai koe mō tāu e hiahia ana
- Kāore e rapu whakaaetanga me te whakamana
- Kāore e tango; kei te hoatu koe mā te noho hei putanga pai rawa atu o koe
- "Te whakaara ake i ō wiri, te noho i runga i te auau teitei ake, me te kukume i te tangata me te mea i whakaarohia kia kukumehia e koe"
6. Kaua e tino wātea ki a ia
Me pēhea te huri i te tūāpapa, me te mea kia whaia koe e ia? Kaua e kōrerotia ētahi mea, ā, tukua ia kia kitea e ia anake. Ahakoa te nui o tō kōrua aroha ki ngā kōrero mō tētahi ki tētahi, he pai tonu te huna i ētahi kōrero. Kaua e hoatu tonu ngā mea katoa ki a ia i runga i te pereti. Ka kukume ngā tāne ki ngā wāhine e ahua ngaro ana ki a rātou.
Koinei te wāhi e rongo ai rātou i te hihiko o te whaiwhai. I ngā wāhanga tōmua, āta haere – āta haere rawa. Kaua e whakaatu wawe i ngā āhuatanga katoa o tō tuakiri, kei memeha haere te mura i mua i te tipu haere hei mura puhoi. Koinei te kī ki te karo i te te hoha i roto i te whanaungatanga, ahakoa te taumata kei roto koe.
Manakohia: Kimihia ngā tikanga ngawari hei mea i te tangata kia porangi ki a koe
7. Me whaia koe e tō hoa aroha mā te atawhai i a ia
E whakamārama ana a Geetarsh, "He kare ā-roto tūturu tēnei o te tangata, te hiahia kia atawhaihia, kia manaakitia. He pai ki ngā tāne te manaakitanga. Ehara i te mea kei te te whakaipoipo i te tamaiti tāne, e pai ana ki a rātou te manaaki, te whanaungatanga piripono, te whakamarie, me te āhua e puta ai ō rātou whakaaro mō te whanaungatanga. E hiahia ana te katoa kia noho hiranga rātou. Ehara i te mea e hiahia ana ia kia noho hei 'tāne' māia o te whare.
Ahakoa kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te akiaki i tētahi tāne kia whaia koe i muri i tō moe tahi, te akiaki rānei i tō hoa aroha kia hiahia ki a koe, te akiaki rānei i tō hoa mō te wā roa kia aroha ki a koe pērā i tana mahi i te tīmatanga o te haere tahi, mā te whakamahi i ō kare ā-roto atawhai kia rongo ia kei te arohaina, kei te manaakihia hoki ia, ka āwhina.
8. Me whakaatu ki a ia kei te aro nui koe ki a ia
E whakaaro ana koe, mā te huna i a ia e hiahia ki ahau? Ko te whakautu kāore. Ka tūtohu mātou i te ritenga kē nā te mea he huarahi hauora hei kukume i te tāne ki a koe. Tīmatahia te whakapā atu. Whakaaturia mārama ō kare ā-roto. Ko te whakaatu i te hiahia anake te huarahi ki te mōhio ki ana whakaaro. Tērā pea ka kite koe i te memeha haere o tana hiahia ki te kore koe e mahi i ēnei mea:
- Whakarongo ki a ia
- Whakamoemititia ia
- Kia aro ki ōna kare ā-roto
I tēnei wā, kua tae ki te wā ki te whakaaroaro me te arotake mēnā kua tino tangohia e koe te āhua tūhāhā me te uaua ki te whiwhi. He nui te tūponotanga kei te hanga e koe hei kēmu mana me te kore e aro ki a ia. Hei whakawhanake i te hiahia kaha, me hoatu tonu e koe he wā pai ki a ia. He pai ki ngā tāne te whaiwhai mena ka kite rātou kei te utua ā rātou mahi.
9. Me pēhea te whai i te tangata kia whaia koe? Kia waiho hei mea reka ki ōna kanohi
I a koe e rapu ana i ngā huarahi hei whakaoho i te hiahia o tētahi tāne ki a koe, kaua e wareware ki te mana o te kukume i ōna kare ā-roto. He taputapu kaha te tirohanga ā-kanohi hei whai i tētahi whanaungatanga. He tino ataahua koe, ā, e mōhio ana koe ki tēnā, kāore he ruarua mō tēnā. Engari e aroha ana te katoa ki te akuaku me te whakapaipai, tae atu ki ngā wāhine. Inaa, ko te whakapau kaha he wāhanga nui o te tikanga mō te rā tuatahi.
Ko te ātaahua o te āhua me te kakara pai he tohutohu tere hei āwhina i a koe kia kaua e āwangawanga ki a ia. Ka moemoeā ia kei te noho tahi koe i ngā wā katoa. Ā, he mea tino maori te hiahia o ia ki te tūtaki ki a koe i ia rā e whai ake nei.
Te pānui e pā ana: 10 Ngā Huarahi Kua Whakamātauhia Hei Whakaatu I Te Aroha Oe Ki Tetahi
10. Tāpirihia he whakataetae
Me pēhea te akiaki i tētahi tāne kia whaia koe i muri i tō moe tahi? Tērā pea he pātai nui tēnei, engari kāore i te tino uaua ina mārama koe ki te hinengaro whakamuri hei akiaki i a ia kia whaia koe. Tukua he tohu kāore ia i te whaia koe. Ki te hiahia koe ki te wero i tētahi tāne kia whaia koe, mā te whakataetae hauora ka pai ake te haere. Ki te hiahia ia, ka whakapai ake ia i tana kēmu kia toa ai koe.
- Kia mōhio ia ehara ko ia anake: Me mea kia āwangawanga ia mō te ngaronga o koe
- Engari kaua e nui rawa: Ki te kaha rawa tō whakatata atu, ka ngaro tōna aro me tōna whakaute ki a koe.
- Kia ngawari: Kaua e kī, "Me haere au ki ngā rā e toru i tēnei rā!" Me kī atu, "Kāore te hoa mahi tawhito e mutu te tuku karere ki ngā pāpāho pāpori, mā te mātakitaki i a ia e ngana ana ki te takaro takaro ka mataku ahau." Koinei tētahi o ngā tohutohu ngāwari hei whakaoho anō i tōna hiahia (hei pupuri rānei i tōna hiahia)
Pērā ai, ka mōhio ia ehara koe i te tangata e rapu ana i ngā hononga aroha hou, ā, ka whakaaro hoki ia he motuhake koe nā te mea kei te whakapuaki koe i tētahi mea ki a ia. Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te akiaki i tētahi tāne kia whaia anō koe, ko te whakakotahitanga tika o te whakamōhio atu ki a ia he wāhi motuhake tōna i roto i tō ngākau me te whakaoho i te wehi kei ngaro koe i a ia ka taea te mahi.
11. Whakamātauria te takaro
E mōhio ana tātou ko wai te kaiwhai, ko wai hoki e whaia ana. Engari he torutoru ngā tohu whakaipoipo Mā te mahi i tō taha ka noho tonu te hiahia me te whakapau kaha o tō tāne. Mā tō whakaipoipo ka whakakoi ake i te kēmu. He toi te whakaipoipo, ā, ki te tika tāu mahi, ka taea e te tāne te whai i a koe ake tonu atu tae noa ki te whakaae koe. Anei ētahi tohutohu hei kōrero māu kia hiahia ai ia ki a koe:
- Kia noho noa: Kaua e tino hoatu he kupu whakapati me he kupu whakapae ki a ia
- Ko te rereke te mea kakara o te ora: Ka taea e koe te takaro ki ō kanohi/kupu, te whakamahi i tō wairua atamai/whakatoi
- Hei te mutunga, ka kino: Tukuna mai he karere kuputuhi utaina kia nui ai tōna aro ki a koe, pērā i te: "Kāore taku tūmau rorohiko e hinga, engari e hinga ana ahau"
12. Hoatu tōna wāhi ki a ia
Me pēhea te akiaki i tētahi tāne kia whaia anō koe? Tukua ia kia toro atu ki a koe mā te hoatu wāhi ki a ia. Heoi anō, he rite te hiranga o te aroha ki a koe anō ki te whai i tētahi tangata motuhake i roto i tōu ao hei ruirui i a koe ki tōna aroha me tōna manaaki. Nō reira, anei te huarahi hei akiaki i tētahi tāne kia hoki mai ki a koe:
- Kia whai ao tōu ake: Kia noho motuhake kōrua; he mea nui te noho motuhake
- Kāore koe e hiahia ki te kōrero i te rā katoa, i ia rā: Kōrero ki a ia engari kaua e whakaatu i a koe anō he tangata hoa wahine piripono rauemi
Me pēhea te pupuri i tōna hiahia ki a koe? Kia mau tonu ki ōu ake hiahia, ki ōu ake wawata, me ōu wawata. Kaua e whakaroa i tō oranga, kaua hoki e piko whakamuri ki te whakauru i a ia ki roto i tō oranga. Ina kite ia kāore tō oranga e tautuhia ana e te whanaungatanga, ka nui ake tōna whakaute me tōna hiahia ki a koe.
13. Whakawaiwai mārire i a ia
Ā, koinā te wā ka tīmata ia ki te porangi rawa atu ki a koe. Haunga ngā āhuatanga katoa o tō tuakiri, he mea nui anō hoki tō āhua ātaahua. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro tonu koe, "Kei te hiahia ahau kia whaia ahau e ia", koinei pea te kī.
Me pēhea te akiaki i tō hoa tāne kia whaia koe, kia nui ake ai tō maioha ki a koe? Kimihia he huarahi hei ohorere i a ia. Hei tauira, ki te pai ia ki a koe i te tae whero, whiriwhiria te kākahu whero tino ātaahua, ka mātakitaki i a ia e hiahia ana ki a koe. He mahi toi te whakawai ā, me mahi mārire koe i tēnei kia pai ai tōna ngākau, kia nui ai tōna hiahia ki a koe. Kia rangatira, kia ātaahua hoki i roto i ō mahi whakawai i a ia, kaua hoki e mahi i ngā mea kāore anō koe kia rite mōna.
Te pānui e pā ana: Āhea ngā tāne ka tīmata te ngaro i a koe i muri i te wehenga?
14. Whakatenatenahia ia
"I pātai atu ahau ki tētahi o aku kiritaki āhea te wā whakamutunga i tangi ai ia. Ka whakahoki ia, "Kāore au i te mahara, kua maha ngā tau mai i taku tangitanga." He tino mamae te mōhio kāore ia i tino pai ki te noho tahi me ōna hoa me te whānau. He maha ngā wā, he uaua ki ngā tāne te whakapuaki i ō rātou kare ā-roto," te kī a Geetarsh.
Nō reira, kāore koe e hiahia ki te wero i tētahi tāne kia whaia koe. I ētahi wā, ko te mea nui ko te whakaatu i te nui o tō aroha ki a iaKo te whakahaere i tō hononga ki tētahi wāhi i roto i tō kōrua whanaungatanga e pai ai ia ki te whakapuaki i ōna kare ā-roto, ehara i te mea ka taea e koe te mahi i roto i te wiki, ina koa mēnā ko ia te momo tangata e uaua ana ki te tuku i te tangata ki roto.
Ahakoa tērā, kāore he mea e kore e taea e te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pono me te whakamana. He aha te mea hei kī atu kia hiahia ai ia ki a koe? "Kei konei ahau mōu". Ko te rapu a ngā tāne he tangata e pai ana ki a rātou te whakapuaki i ngā mea katoa ki a rātou, me te kore e wehi kei kitea he ngoikore rātou.
15. Kaua e wehi ki te haere atu
Kaua e wareware ki te aroha me ngā whanaungatanga, me whakaaro nui ki a koe anō me tōu mana. Ki te mea he tohu rerekē noa iho tāna e whiwhi ana, haere atu. He tika kia whiwhi koe i te mea pai ake. He mahi toi te mōhio ko te wā tika hei wehe atu. Ki te mea kua whakapau kaha koe, tera pea ka pātai koe, "Me pēhea te huri i te tūponotanga kia whaia ai koe e ia?" Āe, me pātai anō hoki koe ki a koe anō, "He pai te utu?"
He aha te take o te whai i te tangata mēnā kāore tōna ngākau i roto? Mēnā kei a ia mutu whakarere te whai i a koeKaua e tukua kia haurangi koe. Kāore e taea e koe te hanga hononga pumau i runga i te tinihanga. Me kī atu hoki ki a koe anō he mea tūturu te ngaro o te aro o te tangata. Kaua e pupuri i a ia, me tango noa tō whakaute ki a koe anō ka haere atu.
Tohutohu Matua
- He mahi toi te akiaki i tētahi tāne kia whaia koe, ā, ka taea te mahi me te kore e whakamahi i te tinihanga me ngā kēmu hinengaro.
- Ko te mea nui kia kite ia i a koe he wahine whai uara hei whakarei ake i tōna ao.
- He mea nui anō hoki kia hanga he hononga pono ki a ia, kia rongo ai ia e arohaina ana, e manaakitia ana, e maiohahia ana hoki.
- Ahakoa ō mahi tino pai, ki te kore te tāne e whakahoki mai i te pai ki a koe, kaua e noho roa me te tumanako ka huri ia i ōna whakaaro mōu. Puritia tō whakaute ki a koe anō, ka haere atu.
Kāore i te tino uaua, e tika ana? Nō reira, ko te tumanako ka āwhina ēnei tinihanga me ngā tohutohu iti i a koe. Ka whaia rānei e te tāne te wahine e arohaina ana e ia? Āe! Nō reira, tatari mō te tāne e manaaki ana i a koe pērā i te kuīni, kāore he iti iho. Waihoki, ka tīmata te kōrero me te whaia e te tāne te wahine, te whaia rānei e te wahine. Heoi, ko te whakamātautau tūturu o te aroha pono ehara i te wā e whaia ana engari i muri mai…
FAQs
Kia paku ngaro, kia paku katakata, kia paku whakawai. He nui rawa te ahua? Kaua e manukanuka, ka puta noa mai ngā mea katoa mēnā he hononga tahi te hononga ā, ki te pai te āhua o kōrua. Ko tā kōrua mahi he māia, he whakakatakata hoki. Ā, kaua e whakautu tonu ki ana karere kuputuhi!
Kia tū pakari koe, kia mōhio hōhonu tetahi ki tetahi. Ae, e kore e puta wawe tonu tēnā, nō reira me tatari mō tētahi wā. Kaua e whaia anō ngā tāne. Kia kaha rawa tō wairua, ā, ka kukumea mai te tāne tika ki roto i tō ao. Kaua hoki e whakama ki te wero i a ia i ētahi wā.
Hei whakapūmau i te wahine, me rapu te tāne i te atawhai, te tautoko, te aroha, me te pono. Ki te tino whakapono ia he tangata mohio koe, ka taea te pupuri i a ia anō, me te tuku tautoko me te aroha hoki, ka whakapūmau ia ki a koe.
Me pēhea te kukume i tētahi hoa wahine? He aha te tikanga o te kukume i tētahi
Me pēhea te whiriwhiri i tētahi hoa ora – 12 Tohutohu a ngā Tohunga hei kimi i te hoa pai rawa atu
Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
Bruh