9 Ngā Raru e Pā Ana ki te Tata ki ngā Tōhunga me ngā Tāne i te Tau Tuatahi o te Marena

Ko te tau tuatahi o te marena pea te mea tino uaua. Kei te ako tonu kōrua ki te urutau me te mārama tetahi ki tetahi, me te kimi i te manawataki mō tō kōrua oranga tahi hei tokorua marena. He tino noa ngā raruraru i te tau tuatahi o te marena. Ko te kī kia kaua e tukua ngā raruraru o te tau tuatahi o te marena kia pāngia tō kōrua hononga ko te poipoi i te hononga ki te aroha, te ngākau aroha, te māramatanga me te whakapau kaha.

Engari ko te noho pōuri me te noho hou i roto i te marena, me mōhio koe ki te whakatau i ngā raruraru e puta ake ana i te tau tuatahi o te marena, me te whakapau kaha kia angitu ai tō marena. He kaupapa mō te oranga katoa te marena.

Hei āwhina i a koe ki te mārama me pēhea te wikitoria i te tau tuatahi o te marena, me te wā e whawhai tonu ana i roto i tō haerenga marena, i kōrero mātou ki tētahi tohunga hinengaro. Gopa Khan mō ngā tohutohu me ngā kupu āwhina e taea ai te whakamahi.

9 Ngā Raru e Pā Ana ki Ngā Tāne me Ngā Wahine i te Tau Tuatahi o te Marena

I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ka whakaatu tonu koe i tō whanonga pai i mua i tō hoa. Engari i muri i te marena, mā ngā kawenga hou me ngā uauatanga o ia rā ka uaua ake te noho hei putanga pai rawa atu māu. Haunga tēnā, kāore te marena e tupu i runga i te aroha anake, engari i runga anō hoki i ngā tautohetohe me ngā pakanga. Ko te mea e tino hiahiatia ana hei puta i te tau tuatahi o te marena me te hanga i tētahi turanga pakari ko te mārama ki te whakahaere i ngā kōrero uaua me te whakaute.

I tana kōrero mō te take e tino kitea ai ngā raruraru whanaungatanga i te tau tuatahi o te marena, e kī ana a Gopa, "Ko te marena me te noho tahi he rite ki te heke ki tētahi whenua tino rerekē me te urutau ki tōna ahurea, reo me tōna āhua noho. Engari, ina marena te tangata, kāore rātou e mōhio ka tino rerekē te ao mō rātou."

Ko te nuinga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine taitamariki e tumanako ana kia rite te oranga ki ō rāua rā whakaipoipo, arā, ko te haereere i waho mō ngā haerenga roa, te kai i te rama rama me te whakakakahu, ā, koinei te wāhi e puta ai te nuinga o ngā raruraru.”

Ehara tēnei whakawhiti i te mea ngāwari. Koia te mea nui kia kōrerohia te take he tino uaua te tau tuatahi o te marena. Mā te kōrero i ētahi o ngā raruraru e pā ana ki te nuinga o ngā tokorua i a rātou e urutau ana ki te oranga marena, ka whai wāhi pea koe ki te whakamutu i ēnei raruraru i te tīmatanga:

1. Ka rerekē te tumanako me te mooni

Kia maumahara tonu he rerekē te āhua o te tangata i mua i te marena me muri i te marena. He nui te kaha o ngā hoa ki te whakamīharo tetahi i tetahi i mua i te marena. Engari i te wā ka marena rātou, ka wehea ō rātou aro nā ētahi atu kawenga, ahakoa whaiaro, ahakoa mahi.

Tērā pea ka kite koe i ngā panonitanga o tō hoa rangatira kāore i kitea i mua. Tērā pea kāore ēnei panonitanga e pai ki a koe. Nō reira, he mea pai kia ngana koe ki te pupuri i tō nga tumanakohanga pono kia kore ai e pouri i te tau tuatahi o te marena.

E kī ana a Gopa, "Ko tēnei rerekētanga nui i waenga i te tumanako me te mooni ka waiho hei whakaoho i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine taitamariki i a rātou e ngana ana ki te kimi i te taurite i te tau tuatahi o te marena. He maha ngā wā i roto i ngā wānanga, ka tūtaki te tangata ki ngā wāhine taitamariki motuhake, e tumanako ana ki te aro katoa mai i ā rātou hoa rangatira, e tumanako ana rānei kia noho hei pokapū o te ao o tā rātou hoa rangatira, he mea kāore i te tūturu."

"I tētahi wā, i pōuri te haerenga o tētahi tokorua i te honimene, nā te mea kāore te wahine i pai ki te inu pia a te hoa rangatira. Kātahi ka puta ngā "Me mahi me ngā mea kāore e tika" i te wiki tuatahi o tā rāua marena. Nō reira, he mea nui kia mahara ko te marena ehara i te "tiaki" i tō hoa rangatira."

Pānui e pā ana: Te Pakanga Tuatahi i roto i te Hononga - Ngā Mea hei Tumanako

2. Kāore koe i te mārama i te tau tuatahi o te marena

Kia maumahara he mea hou ki a kōrua tō kōrua whanaungatanga, nō reira, kāore pea i te tino kaha te māramatanga i waenganui i a kōrua. "Ko te pai, te kino rānei o tō urutau ki te ao marena, kei te pakeketanga o te tangata i roto i te marena. Ki te mea he whakaute, he aroha, he aroha me te whakawhirinaki, ka tino angitu tetahi whanaungatanga."

"Ka puta te raruraru ina whakatau tetahi hoa ko tā rātou huarahi te "ara tika". I ngaro te mahi a tētahi o aku kiritaki nā te mea kāore e taea e ia te aro ki te mahi, nā te mea ka waea mai tana wahine me tana whaea ki a ia mō rāua. Ko tēnei momo taumahatanga me te ahotea i ia rā ka pā kino ki tētahi whanaungatanga," te kī a Gopa.

Hei karo i te tūponotanga o te pakaru o te marena i muri i te ono marama, neke atu rānei, ngana kia mārama. Me mārama koe ki ngā āhuatanga o tō whanaungatanga marena, ā, me whakarerekē i ngā wā katoa e taea ai kia roa ai te noho tahi. te faaipoiporaa oaoa.

3. I te tau tuatahi o te marena, kāore koe e mōhio me pēhea te whakatakoto i te rohe

I te wā e huihui ana ngā āhua rerekē e rua ki te whakapuaki i ō rāua oranga, ko te whakaute te tūāpapa o te whanaungatanga. Engari i te nuinga o te wā, ka wareware ngā hoa tetahi ki tetahi, ka kore e whakaute i ngā rohe whaiaro o tetahi ki tetahi i te tau tuatahi o te marena, ā, ka noho pērā tonu. whawhai tonuI ētahi wā, ka pōhēhē koe mō ō kare ā-roto, ka kōrero i ngā mea mamae, ā, kāore koe i te tino mōhio me pēhea te whakatakoto i te rohe.

I roto i tana tohutohu kaha kia kaua e pāngia te tau tuatahi o te marena, me te whawhai tonu ki te tauira, e kī ana a Gopa, "He maha ngā wā ka waiho ngā mea e tupu ana i te tau tuatahi o te marena hei tauira mō te toenga o te oranga marena. Nō reira, he mea nui kia whakatakotohia he rohe i te wā e taea ai." I amuamu tētahi wahine whai pūkenga i roto i ngā wā whakaora a tētahi tokorua, kāore tana tāne e whakauru ana i a ia ki ngā whakataunga pūtea, ki ngā whakataunga whakarerekētanga oranga rānei pērā i te neke ki tētahi atu tāone.

"I te tau tuatahi o te marena, ka whakarērea e te kiritaki tana mahi, ā, ka tango i tētahi wā okiokinga mai i tētahi mahi whai hua hei noho tahi me tana hoa rangatira. Kāore tētahi o rāua i kōrero taipitopito mō tēnei mea, ā, i whakaarohia noa ko taku kiritaki, he wahine, me whakarērea tana mahi me te neke i ngā wā katoa e tika ana. Ko ēnei mahi tuatahi i roto i tā rāua marena i whakatakoto i tētahi tauira kāore tana mahi i te tino hira."

4. Te kore o te pono

"Kia ora ai koe i te tau tuatahi o te marena, me ngā tau maha i muri mai, kia mahara kei te whiwhi koe i tētahi hoa mō te oranga katoa. He maha ngā wā ka rongo au i ngā amuamu a ngā wāhine, arā, kāore te tāne e noho tahi me rātou, me ngā tamariki rānei, kāore hoki e kawe i a rātou ki ngā hararei. Ko te pūtake o ēnei raruraru ka taea te whai i te tau tuatahi o te marena. Ka nui haere ēnei take katoa i roto i te wā, ā, ka noho hei take "whakapehapeha" mō te tokorua," te kī a Gopa.

Ko ngā tau tuatahi o te marena te tūāpapa mō te oranga marena harikoa. He nui te aroha me te whakapau kaha e hiahiatia ana mai i ngā taha e rua. Ki te kore e rite, ka puta he raruraru i roto i tō marena. Tērā pea kāore tō hoa, tō hoa rānei e aro nui ki te whanaungatanga, ā, ka pukumahi ki te whakatutuki i ētahi atu mahi o te marena. Tērā pea ka mutu tēnei kore whakapau kaha ki te whakangaro i te whanaungatanga.

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5. Ngā take whakarerekētanga me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero

Ahakoa kua roa koe e mōhio ana ki tō hoa, tera pea ka kitea e koe ētahi mea mōna kāore pea koe e pai ki a ia. Ngāna ki te kōrero i tēnei mea ki a rātou i roto i te huarahi e kore ai rātou e mamae. Kia maumahara tonu kāore e taea te whakahoki i ngā kupu kua oti te kōrero. Nō reira, kaua e whakamahi i ngā kupu kino, ā, me whakapuaki tika ō koutou kare ā-roto tetahi ki tetahi. Ki te mea me whawhai kōrua, whawhai me te whakaute ki tō hoa rangatiraMena he iti noa ngā mea kāore koe e pai ki ai, ka taea e koe te whakapau kaha ki te whakatika.

Ko te raruraru pōuri me te raruraru hou kua marenatia, he maha tonu ngā wā ka puta mai i te koretake o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i waenga i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. E kī ana a Gopa, "Ina kore ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e whakapuaki i ō rātou hiahia me ō rātou hiahia tetahi ki tetahi, ka uru te riri ki roto i te whanaungatanga. Ka puta te ahua 'koretake' o te riri ina kore e taea e rātou te whakahaere i ngā take e whakararuraru ana i a rātou."

"Ko ngā kōrero wā-tūwhera, pono, me te mārama i waenganui i te tokorua te haumitanga pai rawa atu ka taea e rāua te mahi i roto i tā rāua marena. Mā tēnei ka arahi ki tētahi hononga whakamiharo mō te wa katoa me te whakahoahoa nui i roto i te marena."

6. Ngā pakanga maha i te tau tuatahi o te marena

I te tau tuatahi o te marena, ka noho ko kōrua anake hei whakawhirinakitanga mā kōrua. Nō reira, tera pea ka tukuna atu ō kōrua riri e pā ana ki ngā whakarerekētanga o te marena ki a kōrua. Tērā pea ka arahi tēnei ki te tau tuatahi o te marena me te pakanga tonu ki ngā whanaungatanga, he mea tino kino tēnei. Kia pai ai te haere o ngā mea, he pai ake te karo i ngā māramatanga kore, ā, me te whakatau tahi i ngā mea.

"Koinei te tino take o te pakaru o te marena i muri i ngā marama e ono, i roto rānei i te tau kotahi. Ko te tau tuatahi o te marena he hanga i te turanga o te marena. Engari, ina puta mai ngā rerekētanga, ā, ka kōrero tonu ngā tāne me ngā wāhine mō ngā take kotahi ahakoa ngā kōrero maha, ehara i te mea pai mō te marena."

"I roto i te nuinga o ngā wā, ka kite ahau i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e ngenge ana i te ngākau, e whawhai ana i te pō katoa, he mea whakakatakata mō te kore e noho tahi, te whakaara rānei i a rāua i waenganui pō ki te "kōrero" i ngā take e whakararuraru ana i a rāua. I roto i ēnei wā, ka whakamātauhia ngā tikanga pēnei i te whakatakoto i tētahi 'rohenga wā whakamutu' kia kaua e whawhai i te pō katoa, te whai whakaaetanga tuhituhi rānei mō te whakaute i tā rāua whakapau kaha ki tētahi otinga kua whakaaetia e te katoa," te tohutohu a Gopa.

7. Ngā Take ki ngā Hungawai

E kī ana a Gopa, "He 'poma wā' nui tēnei, ā, koinei te pūtake o ngā raruraru o te tau tuatahi o te marena. I pā mai tētahi tokorua ki ahau, ā, kāore te wahine i kaha ki te aukati i tōna pāpā kia kaua e pokanoa ki tana marena, ā, i mutu ai te whakarere i roto i ngā tau e toru o te marena. Ka taea e tēnei "pūmau matapo" ki te whānau taketake te whakangaro i tētahi whanaungatanga."

"Nō reira, he mea nui kia mārama ngā hoa rangatira he kawenga tā rāua ki te tiaki i ā rāua marena mai i ngā awe o waho. Ko te huarahi pai ko te whakaute i ngā whānau o tētahi ki tētahi, me te ārai i a rātou ki ngā tautohetohe. I taua wā anō, kia mau tonu ngā rohe i roto i te marena e kore e whakaaetia kia takahia e tetahi, tae atu ki ō mātua."

Ahakoa ehara i te mea he take e whakararuraru ana i tō kōrua marena, tera pea ētahi wā ka raru koe i ō hungawai. Kāore e taea e koe te kōrero kino mō rātou ki tō hoa rangatira, nā te mea ko rātou ōna mātua. Heoi anō, me kōrero koe ki tō hoa rangatira, me te ngana ki te whakatau i ngā take. Ko tētahi o ngā tohutohu mō te tau tuatahi o te marena me whai koe ko te kōrero noa ki tō hoa rangatira mō ngā take e pā ana ki a kōrua me ō hungawai.

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8. Ka pakaru te ariā o te wā me te wāhi whaiaro

I mua i te marena, nōu katoa tō wā, ā, he wā wātea tōu mōu ake. Engari ina marena koe, kāore e rite i ēnei rā. Me whai wā koe mō tō hoa rangatira me ō hungawai. Koinei tētahi o ngā take o ngā raruraru i ngā rā tōmua o te marena nā te mea ka huri ohorere tō mahinga o ia rā.

"I a koe e whakatere ana i te tau tuatahi o ngā raruraru o te marena, kia maumahara ko te here i te pona ehara i te mea ka rukuhia tō tuakiri. Hei kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro, ka akiaki ahau i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kia mau tonu ō rātou hiahia whaiaro me ō rātou wā whakangahau, kia mau tonu te hononga ki ō rātou hoa, whānau, tae atu ki te hararei takitahi."

"He ahua tauhou tēnei ariā ki te nuinga o aku kiritaki, engari ka taea e ia te whakapakari i te marena mena ka kite te tokorua he wāhi haumaru, he wāhi pumau hoki kei a rāua hei whakaatu i ō rāua tuakiri. Ka akiaki ahau i ngā tokorua kia whakaute i te hiranga o te wāhi i roto i ngā whanaungatanga "mō tētahi hononga hauora, pumau hoki," te kī a Gopa

9. Ngā take e pā ana ki ngā pūtea

Te whakamahere pūtea mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine hou kua marenatia Ehara i te mea he mea nui anake kia kore ai e pāngia e te tau tuatahi kino o te marena, engari kia pai ai hoki te noho haumaru mō te wā roa. I te nuinga o te wā, e kitea ana ko ngā take pūtea i roto i te whare o te tokorua hou kua marenatia he kaupapa tairongo, ā, ka puta ake pea ngā take o te whakapehapeha me te whakaaro nui ki a ia anō. Nō reira, me ako te tangata ki te tohatoha i te taumahatanga pūtea i muri i te marena kia kore ai e taupatupatu.

"He nui ngā tautohe e kitea ana i waenga i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine mō te moni. He maha ngā wā kāore pea ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i whakaurua, i whakamōhiotia rānei mō ngā take pūtea, ā, ka arahi pea tēnei ki te kore whakawhirinaki nui. He maha ngā wā, ka akiaki ahau i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kia hui tahi ki ngā kaiwhakamahere pūtea kia taea ai e rātou te mahi tahi hei rōpū. He pai ake te whanaungatanga o te tāne me te wāhine e āwhina ana tetahi i tetahi i roto i ngā take pūtea, e penapena tahi ana hoki mō te heke mai, nā te mea ka nui ake te haumaru me te māia o te tāne me te wāhine i roto i te marena," te tūtohu a Gopa.

Ahakoa kua roa kōrua e mōhio ana ki tō hoa rangatira, kua taka rānei ki te aroha i roto i ngā rā torutoru, tera pea ka puta he whakahē me he tautohetohe i muri i te marena. Kāore koe e hiahia ki te tīmata ki te pātai tonu i tō marena me tōna oranga tonutanga. Engari, me noho kōrua ki te kōrero tahi me tō hoa rangatira. Kaua e whakapae, e whakapae, e whara rānei tetahi i tetahi, engari kia pai te kōrero.

Me pehea te uru ki te tau tuatahi o te marena

He uaua te marena mō te katoa? I nāianei, kua tino mōhio koe ko te tau tuatahi o te marena te wāhanga tino uaua me te wāhanga tino ātaahua o te oranga marena katoa. Ki te puta koe i tēnei wāhanga o te marena, ka tino harikoa tō oranga marena. Anei me pēhea e taea ai e koe te whiti ngāwari i ngā wā uaua:

1. Ngāna kia mārama, kia aroha hoki ki tō hoa
2. I ētahi wā ka arahi ngā tumanakohanga teitei ki te pouri, nō reira he pai ake te tumanako ki ngā mea whai hua mai i tō hoa rangatira, kaua e noho i roto i te mānukanuka.
3. Āta karohia ngā pakanga me ngā taupatupatu, nā te mea ka hinga te nuinga o ngā marena nā ngā tautohetohe, ngā pakanga me te whakamahi i ngā kupu kino.
4. Whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa, me te ngana ki te whakapuaki i ō whakaaro me te māia
5. Kia whai wā koe ki te urutau. Tērā pea ka piki, ka heke, nō reira ngana ki te tautoko tetahi i tetahi i ēnei wā o te ao.

Nō reira, ka taea e tātou te kī he maha ngā arai me ngā raruraru o te tau tuatahi o te marena me wikitoria ngātahi. Engari kia puta kōrua i tēnei wāhanga, ka kaha ake, ka whakarei ake i tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Nō reira, akohia, āwhinahia hoki tētahi i tētahi kia taea ai e kōrua te koroheke ngātahi, kia ora tahi ai i te oranga marena harikoa.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.