Te Whakarerekētanga i roto i te Marenatanga: 10 Ngā Tohutohu mō ngā Tāne me ngā Wahine Hou kia Kaha ai te Hononga

Whai muri i ngā tau maha e noho pōuri ana, arā, te noho takakau tonu, kua honoa kētia rānei e koe tētahi hoa rangatira, ā, kua tae kē koe ki te marena nui, momona hoki i hiahia tonu koe? Ahakoa kei te tiaki koe i tō kiri māwhero ataahua, kei te manaaki i ngā whanaunga hou, kei te huri ingoa, ka puta tonu mai te pātai tawhito, "Kei te pēhea te oranga o te marena?"

Kua tangohia ngā mōhiti tae rōhi, ā, ka tīmata mārire koe ki te arotake i te mea he moemoeā, he mea tūturu hoki i a koe e urutau ana ki te whakarerekētanga o te marena me te hou o te marena. He mahi roa te whakarerekētanga i roto i te marena e tīmata ana i muri tata mai i te marena.

Ka nui ngā pakanga nui, ngā kapu pakaru, me ngā whakapehapeha maru mō ngā rā. Ko te tokorua hou kua marenatia ko te huihuinga o ngā tāngata tino hē e rua nō ngā momo papamuri me ngā wheako o te ao e mōhio ana tetahi ki tetahi i roto i te nuinga o ō rāua haora e noho tahi ana. Nō reira, me whai manawanui, me whai wā, me whai wāhi nui mō ngā whakarerekētanga, ngā tautohetohe me ngā hapa o te marena hou.

10 Ngā Tohutohu mō ngā Tāne me ngā Wahine Marena hei Whakapakari i te Hononga 

Ahakoa he aroha tōu, he he marena whakarite, ko te mahi nui i konei ko te kōrero mārama ki tō hoa mō ō kare ā-roto, ō manukanuka, ō āhuatanga kai, ō raruraru hauora, ō mate, ō whanaunga tauhou et al. Ka taea e ēnei mōhiohio mō tō hoa te whakatinana i tā kōrua whakawhitiwhiti kōrero me te momo whanaungatanga, me te whakatenatena hoki i te hononga.

He rerekē ngā momo whakarerekētanga o te marena. I konei, ka whakamāramahia e mātou me pēhea te whakatau i ngā āhuatanga me ngā riri, me ngā āhuatanga o te marena hei whakapakari i tō hononga.

1. Ka riri koe ki ētahi mea mō tō hoa

Kia mahara, kāore ngā mea katoa o te marena hou e miharo ki a koe. Ko ngā kōrero iti pēnei i ngā tikanga whakapau moni a te hoa, āna paerewa akuaku, tōna āhua mahi nui, te waranga pāpāho pāpori me te petipeti, tae atu ki tōna hononga ki ō rātou mātua, ki tana hoa pai rānei, ka raru pea koe. Ka arahi ēnei ki ngā raruraru whakatikatika i roto i te marena.

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Heoi anō, kia pono ki a koe anō me ō tumanakohanga mai i tō hoa rangatira. Whakapuakina ngā rohe mārama mō ngā take kāore e taea te whiriwhiri māu. Whakatikahia ngā mamae, ngā tautohetohe rānei kāore i te tino hira mā te aro atu ki aua mea me te manawanui, te whakakatakata me te kōrero tahi me tō hoa rangatira. Mā tēnei koe e āwhina ki te urutau pai ake i roto i te marena.

2. Kia auaha i te wā e houhia ai te rongo i muri i te whawhai

He tokomaha, ki te kore ko te nuinga, o te hunga e mahi ana i ngā mea iti nei, ka pā ki ngā mea iti pēnei i te mana mamao o te pouaka whakaata, te wā mata, ngā hararei, te moni, ngā ingoa o ngā tamariki, tae atu ki ngā mōkai. Tāpirihia ki tēnā, ngā āhuatanga pēnei i te ahotea o te mahi, te urutau ki ngā huringa, ngā tumanakohanga me ngā momo noho hoha ka taea te whakakorikori i te marena o ēnei rā. I kī atu mātou ki a koe ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakatikatika i te marena, kāore?

Engari kia maumahara ki te whakarērea taua whakapehapeha me te marino o te ngākau ki te aroha me te katakata. Nō reira, me whai wāhi ki ngā mahi aroha, ngā 'pō whakaipoipo' me ētahi mahi whakahihiri i roto i te rūma moe hei whakaara anō i taua mahi makutu.

Hoatu he wāhi ki tō hoa rangatira, ā, kakahuria tō pōtae auaha. I ētahi wā, ko te nekehanga tika, ko te hiki i te tukemata, ko te menemene, ko te awhi, ko te kōrero rorirori rānei, koinei anake te mea e hiahiatia ana hei whakatika i te āhua. Nō reira, kaua e whakaroa. Ko tētahi o ngā whakarerekētanga nui rawa atu i roto i te ao marena ko te mōhio me pehea te whakamarie i muri i te pakanga, ahakoa kei te mau tonu tō tūnga.

3. Ka nui ngā whanaunga me ngā tohutohu kāore i tonoa

Whakarongo mai, he uaua ngā whānau, ā, me noho tawhiti ngā whanaunga tawhiti. Mā te marena koe e whakatuwhera ki te tirotiro me te kōrero pakiwaitara. Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe kei te e kino ana te hungawai wahine ki a koe.

Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakarerekē i te ao marena kia marino, akohia te kimi i ngā whanaunga, i ngā tāngata rānei e whai tikanga ana ki tō hoa rangatira me tō whānau hou. Whakamutua te kōrero! Kaua e noho roa ki ngā whakaaro o tētahi, ā, tiakina tō kaha kare ā-roto mai i ngā kōrero tuku iho me ngā kōrero kino. Kia arotahi noa ki a koutou anō.

4. Ka tautohetohe kōrua mō ngā mātua o tētahi ki tētahi

He mea nui kia kōrero anō mātou: He uaua ngā whānau! Haunga te moni, he mea tēnei e whakahēngia ana e te tini o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine. Ko ngā tumanakohanga a ngā mātua mō ā rātou mokopuna, ngā whakapaipai o te whare, te whakatipu tamariki, ngā rawa pūtea, ngā haumitanga me ngā penapena, ngā hararei me ngā taunekeneke ki a rātou; he mea tino pā ki te tokorua hou kua mārena. Ko tēnei tonu tētahi o ngā wāhanga matua o te whakatikatika i roto i te mārenatanga.

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Kia maumahara kaua e whakakīia tō marena ki ngā whakaaro maha, engari me mahi i te mea e pai ana ki a kōrua. He hononga tata te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero me te whakatikatika i roto i te marena. Me kōrero pono (he nui te reo i ētahi wā) me te whakapuaki i ō raruraru. Ko tētahi o ngā whakatikatika nui rawa atu i roto i te marena ko te whakamōhio i tō hoa ki ō whakaaro me ō kare ā-roto.

Kia aroha mai, kia mahara ki te tuhi rohe hauora mō ngā mātua e rua mēnā he kaha rawa rātou, ā, tautokohia hoki tō hoa mēnā e tika ana.

5. Ehara tō hoa i tō hoa pai rawa atu

Kia maumahara, he rerekē te whakatipuranga o tō hoa rangatira i a koe. Kia maumahara he tino rerekē ngā wheako o te ao. Kāore pea rātou e whakaae ki ngā mea katoa e kōrerohia ana e koe, e mahia ana rānei e koe. Kaua e taka ki te mahanga o te karo i ngā hononga tūturu, i ngā hoahoa rānei, me te tumanako kia rite tonu te āhua o tō hoa rangatira. Kāore e taea e te tangata te noho whakaaro kore mō ō wheako o te ao i ngā wā katoa, nō reira kaua e tumanako kia pērā.

6. Kāore tetahi i te mōhio ki te marena

He rerekē ia marena, engari te whakaute i roto i te whanaungatanga ā, ko te aroha me te māramatanga tetahi ki tetahi he mea nui ki tōna angitu. Kāore anō kia kitea e tetahi, tae atu ki ō mātua, ki ō koroua rānei, ngā ture o tēnei kēmu. He wātaka tō ia marena, ā, ka taea te hanga kia rite ki ngā hiahia o te hoa. Me puta te whakarerekētanga o te oranga marena i runga i ō kōrua tikanga me ngā tikanga.

Ko ngā tohutohu kāore i tonoa mō te marena, ngā tumanakohanga me ngā whakaaro o ētahi atu ka mutu ka whakakīkī i te marena. Kōrerohia ngā mea katoa, ā, me tino aro ki ngā kare ā-roto o tētahi ki tētahi. He mea nui te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero me te whakatikatika i roto i te marena.

7. He nui te mahi a ngā hoa e rua ki te marena

Whakangaohia te wā me te ngākau nui ki roto i te marena, ā, āta hanga te whakawhirinaki tetahi ki tetahi. Kia mau ki ngā whāinga me ngā moemoeā o tetahi, kia tautokona tonutia tō hoa rangatira i ngā wā katoa, i ngā rā katoa. Kia noho hei pou tautoko, hei papa tautoko hoki mō tetahi ki tetahi. Tukua tō aroha pumau kia whakawhiwhi i te whakapono ki tetahi.

8. Tukua te wā o mua kia noho

He hītori tō tātou katoa, ā, kaua tetahi e noho hei herehere mōna. Waihoki, kaua e whakahua i tō hoa aroha o mua, o tō hoa kura tuarua rānei i a kōrua e uru ana ki tētahi hononga hou, ki tētahi hoa tāne, ki tētahi hoa wahine rānei. Kaua e whakarite i tō hoa ki ngā hoa aroha o mua, ki ō hoa rānei, ā, ka whakanui ake i ngā kare ā-roto kino me te kore whakawhirinaki ki te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea he mea kore e taea te karo i ngā take whakatikatika i roto i te marena, engari kaua e keri ake i ngā mea o mua hei tāpiri atu ki aua mea!

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9. Kaua e tukua te pāpāho pāpori ki roto i tō kōrua wā tahi

Ahakoa tā tātou whakapau kaha, kua uru mai ngā pāpāho pāpori me ngā taputapu hiko ki roto i ō tātou oranga, ā, he pānga kino anō hoki tō rātou ki ō tātou oranga. Ahakoa he maha ā tātou mahi e hiahia ana kia hono atu tātou ki ngā pāpāho pāpori, kia mahi rānei i ngā wā katoa, kia mahara ki te whai wā mō tō hoa rangatira.

Tīmata mā te whakaweto i ngā pāpāho pāpori i roto i tō rūma moe, mātakitaki tahi i ngā whakaaturanga me ngā kiriata rongonui, me te tango i ngā paitini mamati i ia wā, i ia wā i ngā hararei, i ngā pō whakatau, me ērā atu.

Kaua e whakataurite i tō whanaungatanga ki ō hoa i te pāpāho pāpori nā te mea ka puta he manukanuka koretake, he taumahatanga hoki ki te marena. Kaua e whai i tō hoa rangatira i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori, me te pai ki ā rātou pou. He mea koretake, he mahi koretake hoki te whai i ā rātou taunekeneke katoa i runga ipurangi.

10. Kia pono tonu ki a koe anō

Hei whakamutunga, he rerekē ngā ngoikoretanga me ngā hapa o tātou katoa. Nō reira, i a tātou e urutau ana ki te marena, he mea pai kia kaua e wareware ki a koe anō, i a koe e ngana ana ki te urutau ki ngā momo āhua o te hapori o tētahi tāne, o tētahi wahine rānei.

Ko tētahi o ngā whakarerekētanga nui rawa atu i roto i te marena ko te whakatipu i ō kare ā-roto me ō hoa, nā te mea ka āwhina i a koe kia mau tonu te hononga ki tō tuakiri tūturu. Kaua e whakarerekē i tō tuakiri kia uru ki te tauira a tetahi. Haere ko koe anake, haere tahi me ō hoa, haereere rānei ko koe anake i muri i te marena.

He maha ngā momo whakarerekētanga o te marena. Kua whakarārangihia i runga ake nei ngā huarahi ngāwari hei āwhina i a koe ki te urutau i roto i tō marena, me te karo i ngā raruraru whakarerekētanga o te marena. He rerekē ngā huarahi e whakamahia ana e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kia urutau ai ki roto i te marena.

Kāore ngā whakarerekētanga o te marena e puta i te pō kotahi, engari he hua nō te rautaki āta whakaaro. Mā te manawanui me te whakaute, me te aroha hoki, ka pumau ake te tūāpapa o tō marena.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.