21 Ngā Tohu Kāore e Whakakahoretia Kei te Kereme tetahi Tangata i a Koe

I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, ka kitea e koe te whakaaro mēnā kei te tino pono te tāne kei a koe? Ahakoa kei te pai ngā mea katoa, ka puta ake pea ēnei pātai mō te wā roa e kite ana tō hoa i a koe, inā koa mēnā kāore te tāne kei a koe e tino whakapuaki ana i ōna kare ā-roto (ā, ko te nuinga o ngā tāne anake tēnā). Ahakoa pēhea, ina aroha te tāne ki a koe, ka kitea i roto i āna mahi. Ka kitea ngā tohu e kore e taea te whakahē kei te kī mai te tāne kei a koe. He aha aua mahi? He aha te āhua o ngā tohu e kite ana ia i a koe he tangata motuhake, ā, e hiahia ana ia kia noho tahi kōrua mō te heke mai? Tukua mātou kia āwhina i a koe ki te wetewete i aua pātai, engari tuatahi, me kōrero tātou mō te tikanga o te kī mai a te tāne ki a koe.

He aha te tikanga o te kī a te tangata ko koe te rangatira?

Ko te kīanga e kī ana tētahi tāne kei te tohu koe, kei te tohu rānei tētahi tāne i tōna rohe, he āhua rangatira, he āhua whakahaere hoki. He rite tonu ki te haki whero. Heoi, ehara i te mea pērā. Ko te tikanga o tētahi tāne e kī ana kei te tohu koe, ko ia, 

• E whakaae whānuitia ana ōna kare ā-roto mōu
• E whakahīhī ana ki te whanaungatanga
• E hiahia ana kia mōhio koe he wāhanga nui koe o tōna ao 
• E hiahia ana kia mōhio te ao kei te noho tahi kōrua 
• E mōhio ana ki tō uara motuhake i roto i tōna ao, e awhi ana hoki i te hononga e tohaina ana e kōrua

Ko te mahi a te tāne e kī ana i tana hoa rangatira he hononga hohonu ki te ngākau , te whakaute, te aroha, me te ngākau pono. Ko te mea nui ko te whakaae me te whakapau kaha, ehara i te pupuri, te whakahaere rānei. Ina kī ana te tāne i a koe i te huarahi tika, me ngā take tika, ka noho haumaru koe, ka noho matua, ka manaakitia hoki i roto i te whanaungatanga. Mā āna mahi me āna kupu, ka meinga koe kia rite ki te tangata tino nui o tōna ao.

Tērā pea ko te tikanga o tēnei ko te neke atu i ngā hononga noa, me te haumi katoa ki te hononga. Kāore rānei e huna i ngā kōrero mō te heke mai. Kāore rānei e puta atu ki a koe i ngā wā e hiahiatia ana, kia maia ai koe ki te whakawhirinaki ki a ia mō te tautoko. Tērā pea ka tohaina e ia tētahi pikitia o tētahi pō whakatā me te taitara pēnei i te, "He waimarie ki te kī ko ia taku." 

Ehara i te tū rangatira engari he tū kare ā-roto, he huarahi ki te kī, "Kei te kite ahau i a koe, kei te whiriwhiri ahau i a koe, ā, e waimarie ana ahau kei a au koe." Ko te mahi o te kī he hoa rangatira koe, he rerekē ki te whakatū mana i tētahi whanaungatanga, ehara i te mea mō ētahi atu tāngata, mō te whakaatu rānei i tō whanaungatanga ki te ao, ahakoa tera pea ētahi wā o te whakaū i te aroaro o te marea. Engari, koinei tana huarahi ki te whakamōhio atu ki a koe e whakanuia ana e ia te whanaungatanga. Mēnā ka pērā, ka puta he ngoikore o te kare ā-roto i a ia. 

Kei te whakatuwhera ia i a ia anō kia kitea katoatia—ngā hapa, ngā wehi, me ērā atu mea katoa—ā, e whakawhirinaki ana ki a koe ka whakaae koe ki a ia i tōna āhua tūturu. E whakaahua ana a Brené Brown, he tohunga whanaungatanga, i tēnei hei "māia ki te whakaatu i a tātou anō," he tohu tēnei o te whakapau kaha pono. Ko te kīanga he whakaaturanga o te aroha, te pono, me te whakamihi—he whakapumautanga ehara koe i te mea nui noa iho, engari he mea kore e taea te whakakapi ki a ia.

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21 Ngā Tohu Kāore e Whakakahoretia Kei te Kereme tetahi Tangata i a Koe

Nā te mea kua kitea kētia he mea pai te kī mai a te tangata ki a koe, me kōrero tātou mō te āhua o tēnā. Anei ngā tohu pono e 21 e kī mai ana te tangata kei te kī mai ia ki a koe nā te mea e aroha ana ia ki a koe, ā, e kite ana i a koe hei hoa mō te wā roa:

1. Ka whakaatu ia i a koe hei hoa rangatira māna

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino mārama kei te kī ia kei a koe ia, ko tana kī maia ki a koe ko "taku hoa wahine" ko "taku hoa rangatira" rānei i mua i te aroaro o ētahi atu. Kāore he ruarua mō tō tūranga i roto i tōna ao mō te raruraru "kei hea tēnei e anga atu ana". Ahakoa kei te hui tahi kōrua i te tari, kei te tūtaki rānei ki tētahi rōpū hoa mō te wā tuatahi, ki te whakaatu mai ia i a koe me te kī, "Ko taku hoa wahine tēnei, [Tōu Ingoa]", he tohu tēnā kei te whakahīhī ia ki te noho tahi me koe, ā, e hiahia ana ia kia mōhio te katoa ki tēnā.

Ahakoa te āhua māmā noa iho tēnei, he tohu kaha tēnei e whakakore ana i ngā feaa katoa mō tō tūranga i roto i tōna ao, mēnā rānei kei roto ia i a ia. E whakamārama ana te tohunga hinengaro me te tohunga whanaungatanga, a Tākuta Terri Orbuch, "Mā te whakamihi a te iwi whānui ka whakapakari te hononga i waenga i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, ā, ka poipoi i te wairua haumaru i roto i te whanaungatanga ."

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2. He pūmau tana mahi

Ina takaro noa te tangata e noho tahi ana koe me koe, me te mea kei te noho noa ia i tētahi wā, ā, i tētahi wā ka noho tawhiti, ka noho tawhiti, ka nui te whakapoauau, ka waiho koe i roto i te raruraru hinengaro. Heoi, e kore tēnā e tupu ina aroha te tāne ki a koe.

Ka pupuri ia i tana kupu, ahakoa mō te waea atu, te tae atu, te whakarite mahere rānei. Mēnā i kī ia ka tikina koe i te 7 i te ahiahi, ka tae atu ia i te wā tika. Mēnā ka puta he mea ohorere, ka whakamōhio atu ia ki a koe, kaua e waiho kia tatari. Mā tēnei pumau e whakaatu ana kei te whakanuia, kei te whakautehia hoki koe e ia, ā, ka roa tana mahi ki te hanga whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga.

3. Ka karanga ia i a koe ki roto i tana porowhita o roto

Ki ngā tāne, he mea nui te whakamōhio i ō rātou hoa rangatira ki ō rātou hoa me te whānau nā te mea he taahiraa tēnei ki te whakauru i tētahi hoa aroha ki roto i te ao o te tangata. E kī ana a Tākuta Gary Chapman, te kaituhi o The 5 Love Languages , ko te whakaurunga ki ngā wāhi whaiaro he tohu o te hononga kare ā-roto me te whakapau kaha.

Ina aroha te tāne ki a koe, kāore ia e mataku ki te tango i taua peke. E ai ki a Melinda, 27 tau te pakeke, "E rua tau māua ko taku hoa tāne, ko Brad, e noho tahi ana. Ahakoa kua roa māua e noho motuhake ana, ā, e mōhio ana ōna hoa katoa ki ahau, ā, kua mōhio tōna whānau ki ahau mō ētahi marama, i tino rongo ahau he mana tōku i tana kawe mai i ahau hei hoa pai ki te marena o tōna tuahine. Nā te whakaurunga mai ki tētahi wā piripono pēnei i whakaatu mai i te nui o tōku hiranga ki a ia."

4. Ka kōrero ia mō te heke mai ki a koe

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu e aroha ana te tāne ki a koe, ā, e kite ana i a koe mō te wā roa, ko te tīmatanga o tana kōrero mō ngā mea kei mua i a koe i roto i te hinengaro mōu. He mea ngāwari noa iho pea pēnei i te whakamahere i tētahi haerenga, me te kī atu, "Me tīmata tāua ki te penapena mō tētahi haerenga ki Itari i te raumati e tū mai nei," he kōrero kaha ake rānei mō ngā whāinga o te ao, "Ko au te mea i hanga e tāua he whare pēnei i tētahi rā."

Ahakoa he kōrero noa iho ēnei, he mārama te āhua o te hinengaro o tō hoa. "Ina whakaurua tonutia koe e tētahi ki tōna heke mai, e whakaata ana i ōna hiahia mō te piripono mō te wā roa," te kī a te tohunga whanaungatanga a Susan Winter.

5. He whakahīhī ia ki te whakaatu i tōu ataahua

Ina aroha te tāne ki a koe, kāore ia e whakama kia kitea ia kei a koe. Inaa, ko ngā tohu o te tāne e tohu ana i tōna rohe ko:

• Te pupuri ringa i te iwi
• Te tohatoha i ō whakaahua ki runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori
• Te whakamanamana noa i ō whakatutukitanga ki ētahi atu 
• Te kawe i a koe hei hoa mōna ki ngā huihuinga

Ehara i te whakapehapeha ki a ia, engari he huarahi e whakapuaki ai ia i tōna whakahīhī ki te whai wāhi mai o koe i roto i tōna ao.

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6. Ka whakarōpūtia koe e ia

E pai ana ia ki ahau ? E aroha ana ia ki ahau? E kite ana ia i tētahi heke mai me ahau? Ka koretake ēnei pātai ina kīia koe e tētahi tāne nā te mea he mea nui tōu i roto i tōna ao. Ka whakatairangahia koe e ia, ahakoa te aha. Hei tauira, ahakoa he nui āna mahi, ka kitea tonu e ia he wā ki te tuku karere kuputuhi ki a koe i waenganui, ki te waea atu rānei i te wā tina ki te tirotiro i a koe. Ka whakapau kaha ia ki te noho tahi me koe i te wā tuatahi ka taea e ia, ahakoa he tikanga kia whakarerekētia ngā mahere, ka mahia e ia i runga i te kore whakaroa.

Nā te mea he nui tōna aroha ki a koe, kāore ia e meinga kia rite koe ki tētahi mea kāore i whakaarohia i muri i tēnei ao. E kī ana a Tākuta Orbuch, "Mā te whakarite i ngā mea nui mō tō hoa rangatira ka puta he wairua haumaru, e whakaatu ana kei te whakanuia rātou, kei te arohaina hoki." Heoi, kaua te whakarite i ngā mea nui mōu kia waiho hei utu mō te wareware i ētahi atu wāhanga o tōna ao. Ko te huarahi hauora ko te ako i a ia ki te whakataurite i ngā āhuatanga rerekē o te ao me te pupuri tonu i a koe ki waenganui.

7. He tiaki ia i a koe

He tāne e kī ana ko koe te hoa rangatira tiaki. Heoi, kia mōhio koe he rerekētanga i waenga i te hoa rangatira tiaki me te hoa rangatira . Ahakoa ko te tuatahi i ahu mai i te hiahia ki te tiaki i a koe anō, ko te tuarua e pā ana ki te mana whakahaere me te kore e māia. He mea nui kia taea e koe te wehewehe i waenga i ngā mea e rua. Ko ngā tohu e tiaki ana ia i a koe e ahu mai ana i te manaaki pono, ā, ka kitea pea i roto i ngā mahi iti o ia rā pēnei i:

• Te pupuri i tō ringa i a koe e whiti ana i te huarahi 
• Te tuku karere kuputuhi, te waea atu rānei ki te tirotiro mēnā kua tae ora koe ki te kāinga i muri i te pō i waho me ngā hoa 
• Te tohe kia tukua, kia tikina rānei koe i te taunga rererangi mēnā kei te rere koe me te karu whero 
• Te haere tahi me koe ki ngā wā whakarite a te tākuta 
• Ki te hikoi koe i roto i tētahi wāhi kīngi tangata, ā, ka tūtaki mai tētahi ki a koe, ka āta tirotiro ia kei te pai koe.
• Ki te mea kei te ahotea koe i te mahi, ka mea pea ia, "Mēnā he mea ka taea e au te mahi hei āwhina, whakamōhio mai ki ahau"

Ehara i te mea e mahi ana ia i ēnei mea nā te mea e whakaaro ana ia kāore e taea e koe te whakahaere i a koe anō, engari nā te mea he nui tōna aroha. 

8. E whakanuia ana e ia ō whakaaro

Ko tētahi atu tohu e kite ana ia i a koe he tangata motuhake, ko tōna whakanui i ō whakaaro, i ō kare ā-roto. Ina whakapuaki koe i ō tirohanga ki ngā mea, ina whakapuaki rānei koe i ō kare ā-roto, ka tino whakarongo ia nā te mea ehara i te mea e aroha ana ia ki a koe engari e whakaute ana hoki i a koe.

E whakanui ana a Esther Perel, he kaiwhakaora hinengaro rongonui, "Ko te whakaute i te tuakiri o tō hoa te mea nui ki te pupuri i te whanaungatanga piripono me te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga." Ka kitea tēnei i roto i te tukanga whakatau a te tāne ina tono ia ki a koe. Nā te mea e kite ana ia i a koe hei wāhanga nui o tōna ao, ka kōrero ia ki a koe mō ngā whakataunga nui, mai i te neke mahi ki te hoko waka hou, mai i ngā kōwhiringa haumi ki te wāhi hei haere hararei. 

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9. Ka whakarongo puku ia

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino rerekē, ā, e kore e arohia, kei te aroha te tāne ki a koe, ko te kore e taea te whakataurite i ana pūkenga whakarongo. Nā te nui o tōna aroha ki a koe, kāore ia e whakarongo noa ki a koe engari ka ngana ki te mārama me te maumahara ki ngā mea katoa e kōrero ana koe ki a ia. 

Ahakoa ka kōrero koe ki a ia mō tētahi mea tairongo pērā i tō kōrua wehenga tuatahi me te uaua o te ora ake i taua mea, ka kōrero noa rānei koe mō tāu kai reka tino pai i a koe e tamariki ana, ka maumahara te tangata e kī ana kei a koe ngā kōrero iti i ēnei wā e rua, e whakaatu ana ki a koe he mea nui ki a ia ngā mea katoa e nui ana ki a koe.

10. E tautoko ana ia i ō whāinga

E ai ki a Reene, 33 tau te pakeke, he kaitoi, kāore i ruarua ia i te aroha nui o tana hoa tāne ki a ia, ā, i kite ia ko ia te tangata i te wā i whakakorea ai e ia tētahi haerenga mutunga wiki me āna hoa ki tana whakaaturanga toi tuatahi, kātahi ka pau te pō katoa ki te kōrero ki te katoa, "I tino kaha tana mahi mō tēnei. He uaua tonu te noho i roto i tētahi ao whakataetae, te ngana ki te angitu hei kaitoi. Pērā i te nuinga o te hunga e tīmata ana, i pā mai hoki ki ahau ngā wā o te ruarua ki a au anō. Engari ko tana whakapehapeha me tana whakatenatena i taua rā i meinga ahau kia rite ki te mea kāore e taea te aukati." 

Kāore a Reene i te takitahi. Ina aroha te tāne ki a koe, koinā te āhua o tana whakamānawa i a koe—me te mea ka taea e koe te wikitoria i te ao, me te whakaatu anō hoki kei te tautoko ia i a koe i ia taahiraa o te ara. Ahakoa he whakatenatena i a koe, he tuku tohutohu, he āwhina rānei i ngā huarahi whai hua, ka whakaatu ia he mea nui ki a ia tō angitu.

11. Ka whakatau ia i ngā tautohe me te whakaute

Ahakoa te hauora o tētahi whanaungatanga, kāore he pakanga. Heoi, mā te huarahi e whakahaere ai te tāne i ēnei pakanga ka kitea te nui o tana whakapau kaha. Hei tauira, ko tētahi o ngā tohu e kī ana te tāne kei a koe koe, ko tana kore e tukua kia piki ake ngā tautohetohe hei whakapae, hei whakahē rānei. Engari i te haere puku atu i te wā o te tautohetohe, i te kōrero rānei i ngā mea mamae, ka whai wā ia ki te whakamatao mēnā e tika ana, kātahi ka hoki anō ki te kōrero, me te kī, "Me kōrero tāua mō tēnei—e hiahia ana ahau ki te mārama ki ō kare ā-roto." 

Mā tana huarahi whakatau tautohe ka mārama tonu tana hiahia ki te rapu huarahi hei whakapakari i tō kōrua hononga, ahakoa i ngā wā tautohetohe. I tana whakamārama i te hiranga o tēnei, e kī ana a Tākuta John Gottman, he kairangahau matua i roto i ngā whanaungatanga, "Ko ngā hoa rangatira harikoa ehara i te hunga kāore he tautohe, engari ko te hunga e mōhio ana ki te whakahaere i te raruraru me te aroha me te whakaute."

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12. E whakaatu aroha ana ia

Ka puta noa mai te pā o te tinana me ngā tohu aroha ki te tāne e kī ana ki a koe. He pumau, he pono hoki tōna aroha, ā, ka meinga koe kia rongo i te aroha me te hiahia. Ka taea te whakaatu i roto i ngā huarahi maha, pērā i

• Te pupuri i tō ringa i te aroaro o te marea
• Ka kihi mārie i tō rae i te wā kāore koe i te tumanako
• Te awhi i a koe i te wā e mātaki ana koe i te pouaka whakaata
• Te awhi i a koe i muri i a koe e mahi ana i tetahi mea 
• Te mirimiri mārie i ō makawe i a koe e moe ana  

13. Ka tu ia mo koe

He hoa tiaki ia, e kore ia e tuku i tētahi kia whakahē i a koe, kia tukinotia koe, kia takahi rānei i a koe. Mēnā ka puta he āhuatanga pēnei, ka takahi mai ia, kāore he whakaroa. Heoi, ehara i te mea ka riri ia, ka hanga rānei i te ngangau, engari ka whakautehia tō mana me ō rohe.

He kaiwhakahaere taitamariki a Shaan, e kōrero ana mō te kaha o ōna kare ā-roto tiaki i te wā i kōrero kino ai te hoa wahine o mua mōna i te pāti taumau o tētahi hoa. "He tangata mārire ahau, ehara i te momo tangata e uru ki ngā pakanga, ki ngā whawhai ā-ringa rānei. Engari i tana kōrero kino mō te wahine e arohaina ana e au, ka uru atu ahau. Kāore au i whakanui i tōku reo, kāore hoki i hanga raruraru. Engari i tūpato ahau ki a ia, ā, ka mea mārire engari he pakari, "Kāore i te pai tēnā—kaua e kōrero pēnā mōna." Koinā te wā whakamutunga i kite ai mātou i a ia."

14. Ka whakauru ia i a koe ki ngā mea e whai tikanga ana ki a ia 

Ko ngā tohu kei te aroha tetahi tāne ki a koe, ā, e kite ana i tētahi heke mai hei hoa mōu, ko te whakapau kaha ki te whakauru i a koe ki ngā mea e whai tikanga ana ki a ia, me te rite ki te noho ngoikore ki a koe . Tērā pea ko tēnei,

• Te whakaatu i a koe ki ana mahi whakangahau
• Te tono atu kia uru atu koe ki ngā mahi e whakanuia ana e ia
• Te whakapuaki i ngā maharatanga o te tamarikitanga me ngā kōrero whakama
• Mā te whakaatu i ōna taha ki a koe, kāore ia e whakaatu ana ki ētahi atu—pērā i ōna āwangawanga, i ōna moemoeā rānei.

15. Ka pupuri ia i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero kia tuwhera

Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera te kaupapa matua o tētahi whanaungatanga kaha, ā, ina tono mai tētahi tāne ki a koe, ka whakapau kaha ia ki te waihanga i tētahi taiao e taea ai e kōrua te kōrero noa. Ka whakapuaki ia i ōna whakaaro me ōna kare ā-roto ki a koe, ā, ka akiaki i a koe kia pērā anō hoki. Ahakoa e pouri ana ia, e kore ia e ārai i a koe.

Engari, ka whakapuaki mārama ia i ōna kare ā-roto, kia kore ai koe e whakaaro noa. Hei tauira, ki te kore ia e kōrero nui, ka mea pea ia ki a koe, "Kei te pōuri ahau mō te mahi i tēnei rā, engari ehara i te mea nāu. Me whai wā noa ahau ki te whakaaro." Ki te mea rānei kua tautohetohe kōrua, ā, kāore ia e hiahia ki te kōrero tonu atu, ka mea atu ia ki a koe, "Me whai wā ahau ki te whakamārama i tōku hinengaro. Me hoki anō tāua ki tēnei kōrero ina taea e au te whakaaro mārama ake."  

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16. He rerekē te taumata o tana hononga ki a koe i runga i te moepuku

Ina aroha nui te tāne ki a koe, ehara ngā wā o te whanaungatanga ā-ira tangata i te huarahi hei whakamātau i ngā hiahia o te tinana engari he huarahi hei hono atu ki a koe i runga i te taumata hohonu. I roto i ō wā whanaungatanga, ka rongo koe i te rerekētanga i waenga i te moepuku me te mahi aroha. Ka meinga koe e ia kia arohaina, kia hiahiatia hoki mā te whakatairanga i tō hiahia, te whakaute i ō rohe, me te kōrero puku i ngā kupu reka ki ō taringa. Ko te noho tahi me ia ka whakakā i ngā muka katoa o tō wairua.

17. E whakaute ana ia i ō rohe

He tāne e kī ana kei te whakaatu pea koe i ngā tohu e tiaki ana ia i a koe, i ngā tohu rānei kei te tohu tētahi tāne i tōna rohe. Heoi, ehara tēnei i te kī ka ngana ia ki te whakahaere i a koe, ki te tango i tō mana whakahaere, ki te pokanoa rānei ki tō mana motuhake. Engari, ka whakaute ia i tō mana motuhake me tō tuakiri. Nā te mea e mōhio ana ia ko te whanaungatanga hauora he tokorua ngā tāngata tino pai e whiriwhiri ana kia noho tahi, kaua ko tētahi hoa e whakahaere ana i tētahi atu.

18. E whakanui ana ia i ō whakatutukitanga

Ko te tangata e aroha nui ana ki a koe, e hiahia ana ki te hanga i tētahi oranga tahi māua, ko ia anō hoki te tino kaiwhakatenatena mōu. Ahakoa he whakatairanga, he tohu whaiaro, he wikitoria iti rānei, ka whakanuia koe e ia me te hihiri, ka meinga koe kia rite ki tētahi whetu. Ki a ia, ko ō wikitoria me te mea nōna ake. 

E maumahara ana a Katie, 41 tau te pakeke, he whaea mō ngā tamariki tokorua, ki te wā i mōhio ai ia kei te tangohia ia e tana tāne inaianei hei tāna. "Kāore au i te kaha ki te korikori tinana i taku tamarikitanga me taku taiohinga. Kātahi ka tūtaki ahau ki a Ricky, he tangata e hiahia ana ki te whakapakari tinana. Ā, i muri i te haere, ka ārahi ia i ahau ki roto i tana āhua noho." 

"I te rā i oti ai tā māua oma haurua marathon tuatahi hei tokorua, i whakanuia e ia mā te karanga i ō māua hoa katoa ki te tunu kai me te inu pia, ā, kāore i mutu tana kōrero mō tōna whakahīhī ki ahau. I reira ka mōhio ahau ko au te tangata māna, ko ia hoki te tangata māku."

19. Kei te wātea ia ki ngā kare ā-roto

Kāore koe e raru i te noho motuhake, te mataku i te piripono me te ngoikore ina tino aroha te tāne ki a koe. Ka ngāwari tana whakapuaki i ōna kare ā-roto, ka noho pūmau ki te taha o te tangata, ā, ka whai wāhi ki te waihanga i tētahi wāhi hei hono atu i a koe ki tētahi taumata hohonu ake.

Ahakoa he kī pēnei i te, "E wehi ana ahau kei ngoikore ahau nā te mea kua whara ahau i tērā i mua", ka huakina e ia aua tatau, ka whakahoro haere i aua pakitara, kia tae rā anō ki te wā e taea ai e kōrua te noho hei tangata tūturu tetahi ki tetahi. 

Pānui e pā ana: 13 Ngā Tohu Kakariki i roto i tētahi Hononga hei Tirohanga Atu

20. Ka tīmata ngātahi ia i ngā tikanga tuku iho

"Me karanga tātou i te katoa ki te Kirihimete. Ka tunu kai tahi tāua mō te rā." 

"Kia waiho hei tikanga te mātakitaki i tā tātou kiriata tino pai i ia Pō Kirihimete!" 

"Me reti tātou i tētahi poti hei mātakitaki i ngā ahi ahi o te 4 o Hūrae. Ka taea e tātou te whakarite kia noho hei huihuinga ā-tau." 

Ko te waihanga i ngā tikanga tuku iho e rite ana ki a ia te huarahi hei whakatakoto i te turanga mō te heke mai tahi. Ahakoa he mea ngāwari pēnei i te tīmatanga o te kawa parakuihi o te Rātapu, te whakapau kaha rānei ki te whakanui tahi i ngā hararei nui, kei te whakapau kaha ia ki te whakapakari i tō kōrua hononga.

21. E rite ana ia ki a koe

He tangata e kī ana kāore koe e kite ana i a ia anō he rangatira ake i a koe, i te whanaungatanga rānei hei kaupapa whakarōpū. Kāore ia e aro ki te pakanga mana, kāore hoki e aro ki ngā āhuatanga pana-tō . E hiahia ana ia ki tētahi hononga pono o ngā tāngata ōrite, ā, hei whakatutuki i tēnā,

• E whakanuia ana e ia ō whakaaro
• Tautoko i tō mana motuhake
• Ka manaaki i a koe me te whakaute

FAQs

Thoughts Final

He tāne e kī ana me meinga koe kia kite, kia rangona, kia whai uara, kia hiahiatia hoki. Kaua e taumaha, kaua e ahotea, kaua hoki e whai i tāna e hiahia ana mai i te whanaungatanga. Kia tūpato ki tēnei rerekētanga hei whakamārama i ngā tohu e kī ana te tāne kei te kī tika ia i a koe. Mena he tika ngā take e mahi ana ia i tēnei, kua rite koe ki te tango i te peke whakapono me te tīmata i tētahi haerenga ki te hanga i tētahi heke mai ataahua me ia.

10 Ngā Mea e Hanga Ana i tētahi Hononga Pai – E ai ki tētahi Tohunga

18 Nga Mea Nui I Roto I Te Whanaungatanga

21 Ngā Ture Matua mō te Whakawhanaungatanga hei Whakahōhonu ake i tō Hononga

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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