18 Ngā Tohu Tūatahi o te Hoa Tāne Manaaki me Ngā Mea Ka Taea e Koe te Mahi

Ko te aroha te tikanga kia noho noa koe. Ehara i te aroha ina meinga koe e tō hoa tāne kia noho herekore, kia aroturuki hoki i ō nekehanga katoa. Tērā pea ka kitea ngā tohu o te hoa tāne whai mana i ngā tīmatanga o te whakaipoipo. Tērā pea ka mahi ia me te mea ko ia anake te tangata o te ao e aro nui ana ki a koe, e hiahia ana hoki ki te mea pai mōu. 

Kāore rawa tēnā i te pono, nā te mea he huarahi tēnei 'tiakitanga' me te 'aroha' hei huna i tana whanonga pupuri. Ki te hiahia koe ki te mōhio atu mō ngā tohu tōmua o te tāne pupuri, i whakapā atu mātou ki tētahi tohunga hinengaro. Aakhansha Varghese (M.Sc. Psychology), he tohunga ki ngā momo momo tohutohu whanaungatanga – mai i te whakaipoipo ki te wehenga, me ngā whanaungatanga i mua i te marena ki te tukino.

He aha ngā tāne ka riro ai hei tangata whai mana?

Ehara te hinengaro o ngā tāne whai mana i te pango, i te mā rānei. He hina katoa ngā atarangi, ā, i te nuinga o te wā ka puta mai i ngā āwangawanga me ngā momo piripono. Ko te tāne whai mana nui ka whai momo piripono manukanuka, ka titiro whakararu ia ki a ia anō, ka whakaaro he iti iho ia i ētahi atu. He iti tōna whakaaro ki a ia anō, ā, ka nui ake tōna āwangawanga. Kāore ia e māia ana i roto i ngā whanaungatanga e hangaia ana e ia, ā, kāore he whakaaro. me pēhea te whakawhanake i te haumaru hinengaro me tēnei momo piripono tētahi o ngā tino take he āhua rangatira te tangata.

E kī ana a Aakhansha, "Ka whakaipoipo ngā wāhine i ngā tāne whai mana pupuri ina kore e kitea e rātou te āhua o te tangata nā te mea he mātanga ēnei tāne ki te huna i ā rātou mahi me te whakaatu i a rātou he aroha, he ngākau aroha, he āhua tiaki. Engari kia mārama tātou. Kāore he rangahau e whakaatu ana ko te mana pupuri anake e kitea ana i roto i ngā tāne. Tērā pea he rite tonu te mana pupuri o ngā wāhine i roto i ngā whanaungatanga kei reira ō rātou āwangawanga, ngā raruraru riri, me te iti o te whakaaro ki a rātou anō."

Nā, kua mutu tēnā, anei ētahi take e hiahia ai ngā tāne ki te pupuri i tā rātou hoa:

• Te wehi ki te whakarerea: Tērā pea i whakarērea te tangata i tōna tamarikitanga, ā, kāore e taea e ia te aro atu ki te whakaaro ka whakarērea anō ia. Ka whakakaha ake tēnei i a ia ngā take whakarērea i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ka hangaia ia i te oranga pakeke 
• Te whanoke o mua: I te taha ia o te tinihanga a tetahi, ā, te āhua nei kāore e taea e ia te tuku atu. Tērā pea nāu i tinihanga, ā, inaianei kua uaua ki a ia te whakawhirinaki anō ki a koe. Ka taea e ēnei kare ā-roto o te kore whakawhirinaki te arahi i ngā tohu tōmua o te tangata whai mana.
• Te momo piri āwangawanga: Ko ngā take mōna he hoa hae, he hoa rangatira hoki, i ahu mai i te wehi kei whakakahoretia, me te wehi kei warewarehia. 
• Te kore whakawhirinaki ki ngā tāne: Ka nui ake tōna aroha ki a koe, ka nui ake tōna whakaaro ka kite ētahi atu tāne i āna e kite ana i roto i a koe, ā, ka hiahia rātou ki te takaro ki a koe.
• Ko ōna āwangawanga: Ka puta mai pea ngā āhuatanga rangatira i te kore e ngāwari te whakakapi 
• Me whai mana: Ka rongo ia i te kaha ina whakahaere ia i a koe

18 Ngā Tohu Tūatahi o te Hoa Tāne Manaaki me Ngā Mea Ka Taea e Koe te Mahi

Kua ngaro ngā rā i whakahaerea ai, i whakahaerehia ai hoki e ngā tāne ngā āhuatanga katoa o te oranga o te wahine. Mai i te kī atu ki a ia he aha ngā kākahu hei kakahu, ki te aukati i a ia kia kaua e kōrero ki ngā tāne, me te whakahau i a ia kia aha hei tunu kai māna. He rārangi angiangi kei waenganui i te tiaki i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, me te tuku i a ia kia ora i roto i tōna oranga, me te kī atu ki tētahi me pēhea te ngaungau i tā rātou kai me te aukati i a rātou kia kaua e tūtaki ki tā rātou hoa tāne. Hei whakamārama ake i tēnei whanonga, kei raro nei ētahi mea nui hononga whero haki me ngā tohu whakatūpato o te tāne rangatira.

1. E kino ana ia ina taunekeneke koe me ētahi atu

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tōmua o tētahi tāne rangatira ko tana whakahawea ina kōrero koe ki ētahi atu, inā koa ko te ira tangata kē. Ka kino rawa atu mēnā kāore koe e hopu i tēnei tohu whero, ā, ka ārai wawe i te tīmatanga o te whakaipoipo. Ka whakakore ia i a koe ina kōrero ana koe me tō hoa tāne, ā, ka ngana hoki ki te whakahaere i te kōrero. Kia mōhio hoki ki te reo tinana o tētahi tāne rangatira: tera pea ka pupuri ia i ōna ringa, ka ngau i ōna niho.

A Reddit kaiwhakamahi i kōrero i tētahi pakiwaitara mō te wā i noho rangatira ai tā rāua hoa tāne, ā, kāore i tukua rāua kia kōrero ki ā rāua hoa tāne. Tētahi atu kaiwhakamahi i whakahoki: "He tino kino tēnei. He tino koretake rawa te kī atu a tētahi o kōrua ki tētahi kāore e taea e rāua te kōrero ki te ira tangata kē. Ahakoa kua tinihangatia ia e te hinengaro, kua tekahia rānei i mua; kei roto ia i tētahi whanaungatanga ki a koe, ko te tikanga me mutu tana mahi i tēnā, me mahi rānei kia mutu."

2. E hiahia ana ia ki te mōhio ki ngā mea katoa i tupu i te meneti tonu i puta atu ai koe i te whare

E kī ana a Aakhansha, "Ko tētahi o ngā tohu o te hoa rangatira ko tana tono kia rapua ngā mea katoa i pā ki a kōrua i te wā e wehe atu ana kōrua tetahi i tetahi." He hoa rangatira tino tiaki ka hiahia ki te mōhio ki ngā taipitopito katoa, ā, ka pātai atu i ngā pātai pātai pēnei i:

• Ko wai i tutaki koe?
• I aha koe ki tēnei tangata?
• I hea koe i haere tahi ai me tēnei tangata?
• He aha tā kōrua i kōrero ai? 
• I kōrero koe ki a rātou mōku?
• E mōhio ana rātou kei te whakaipoipo tāua?

Ina pātai ia i ngā pātai mā te uiui me te tirotiro, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga whai mana. I tētahi atu taha, ko te hoa tāne e tiaki ana i a koe i roto i te horopeta hauora ka pātai i ngā pātai penei:

• I kai tina koe?
• Āe, i tūtaki koe ki a Hēki? I pai tō wā?
• I kōrerotia e koe ki a ia kua whiwhi tāua i tētahi mōkai hou?
• I te aha te wā i tae atu ai koe ki te kāinga? I pai tō noho haumaru i tō hokinga mai?

Haunga ngā kupu, kia aro hoki ki ngā tohu kore-kupu. Ka kaha te reo tinana o te tāne whai mana - tērā pea ka tū teitei ake ia i a koe, ka titiro matatau mai, ā, ka kaha pea tana mahi tinana. 

3. Ka tono ia kia hipokina e koe

Ka tono atu ngā tāne whai mana kia hipokina e koe. I runga i tō ra tuatahi, ka mea atu ia ki a koe he ātaahua tō kōrua āhua i roto i taua kākahu kore-tuara engari i te whanaketanga o tō kōrua whanaungatanga, ka mea atu ia kia mau koe i tētahi koti, i tētahi hāte rānei hei taupoki i tō tuara. Ka takai ia i tana mana pupuri ki te āwangawanga rūpahu, ka kī atu i ngā mea pēnei:

• "E tama, kei te kōrero ahau i tēnei nā te mea e mōhio ana ahau ki te momo tāne e haere mai ana ki tēnei karapu"
• "Kei te tono atu ahau kia hipokina koe e te kanohi nā te mea ka makariri i waho"
• "Ko au anake te tangata e hiahia ana kia kite i ō huha. Ki te aroha koe ki ahau, ka hipokina e koe"

Kāore e roa ka huri ngā mea mai i te tono ki te utu whakapati. Ka meinga koe e ia kia ngohengohe ki a ia. He aha ai? Nā te mea e "aroha" ana ia ki a koe. Engari ehara tēnā i te aroha. Ko tētahi tēnā o ngā āhuatanga rangatira kāore e tika kia warewarehia. 

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4. Ka kino ia ina whakamoemiti koe i tētahi atu

E kī ana a Aakhansha, "Kāore te tāne whai mana e tuku i a koe kia kōrero ki ētahi atu tāne, ā, ka whakarihariha ia ina mihi koe, ina whakamoemiti rānei i tētahi tāne. Nā te mea he tino hae ia, ā, kāore e taea te aro ki te whakaaro he pai ake tētahi atu i a ia. Ka kite pea tō hoa tāne i a ia hei hoa whawhai pea, ā, ka mutu pea ka mau tonu te mauahara ki a ia." I te tīmatanga, ka ātaahua te ahua o tēnei momo hae me tōna riri ki a koe, ā, ka kitea e koe he mea ātaahua tēnei āhuatanga. Heoi, ko tētahi o ngā tohu whakatūpato o te tāne whai mana. 

5. Ka tirohia e ia tō waea

He mea ngāwari tēnei. He tangata kua take whakawhirinaki ā, he māharahara ia mōna anō, ka tirohia tō waea pūkoro, ahakoa tō mōhio, kāore rānei. Ka tirohia e ia ngā tāngata katoa i tukuna atu e koe he karere kuputuhi, ā, ka ngana ki te pānui i ō kōrerorero. Ehara i te mea ko ngā kōrerorero anake i mahia e koe me ngā tāne, engari ko ō hoa wahine anō hoki. Ae, ka tino hiahia ia ki te mōhio ki ngā mea e pā ana ki tō koiora. Ka tirohia anō hoki e ia tō rārangi waea kia kite ai i te roa o ō kōrerorero me ētahi tāngata. 

6. Ka hiahia ia kia whakaritea ia e koe hei kaupapa matua

E kī ana a Aakhansha, "E hiahia ana ia kia noho ki te tihi o tō rārangi kaupapa matua. I ētahi wā, i mua atu i ō mātua me ō tuākana/teina. Ina kore te tāne e mārama ka taea e koe te whakarite i te tangata e rua kia rite te kaupapa matua i te wā kotahi, he tohu tēnei he tangata koretake ia i roto i ngā kare ā-roto, ā, he uaua ki a ia te pupuri i ngā whanaungatanga aroha."

Ki te aroha koe ki tētahi, e hiahia ana koe kia noho hei kaupapa matua mā rātou. Heoi, e kore rawa koe e mea kia whiriwhiria koe e rātou i runga i ō mātua, i tō mahi, me ō hoa tino piripono. He whakaaro whaiaro tēnā. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te piripono koe ki tētahi hoa rangatira e hiahia ana kia whakarērea e koe tō mahi nā te mea kāore ia e arohaina ana, koinei te tohu ki a koe kia wehe atu.

7. Māna e whakatau ngā whakataunga katoa

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu o te mana pupuri ko te wā e whakatau ana tō hoa tāne i ngā whakatau katoa mōu me te whanaungatanga. Ka whakatau ia i ngā mea pēnei i:

• Kei hea te tina
• Me pēhea koe e whakapau ai i ngā hararei
• Te auau o te "whakaaetia" kia tūtaki koe ki ō hoa
• Āhea te wā e tūtaki ai ki ngā mema o tō whānau

Ka hiahia ia ki te whakatau i ngā whakatau katoa māu. Hei tāpiri, ka whakarite ia kia tono koe i tana whakaaetanga i mua i tō mahi i tetahi mea. Ki te kore koe e rapu i tana tohutohu i mua i tō mahi i tetahi mea, ki te kore rānei e whakaae ki ana whakatau, ka huri whakarere te reo tinana o te tangata whai mana. Ka kite koe i a ia e kaha ana ki te whakahaere me te riri.

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8. Me whakaatu e koe tō aroha me tō pono kia kitea ai e koe tana utu

E kī ana a Aakhansha, "He mea here te aroha o te hoa rangatira. Me whiwhi koe i tana aroha mā te mahi i runga i ana hiahia me ana hiahia. Ka meinga tonu koe e ia kia whakaaro kāore koe e tika ana kia whiwhi i tana aroha i ngā rā e haere ana koe i runga i ana hiahia. Ko te mea kia whakama koe tetahi o ngā tohu tōmua o te tangata rangatira."

Ko te aroha herekore e ahu mai ana i ngā "mehemea" me ngā "engari" engari ko te aroha herekore e ahu mai ana i ngā "ahakoa te aha." Ka whakatakoto ia i ngā tumanakohanga koretake ki a koe engari kāore e pai ki a ia ina tumanako koe ki te mea e tika ana. iti rawa i roto i te whanaungatanga mai i a ia. Mēnā ka whakaatu noa tō hoa tāne i te aroha i muri i tō whakamātau i tō aroha mā te whakaae me te whai i ana tono, ko tētahi o ngā āhuatanga o te tangata whai mana, ā, me kōrero whānui koe ki a ia mō tēnei mea. 

9. Ka whakakino ia i tō wairua i mua i tō haerenga atu me ō hoa

Koinei tētahi o ngā mea e pā ana ki te wā e whakaipoipo ana koe i tētahi tāne whai mana. Ka whakarite ia kia pakaru tō wairua i mua tonu i tō haerenga ki te tūtaki ki ō hoa. Ka whakarite ia kia whawhai i mua tonu i tō wehenga atu i te whare. Ka rapu ia i roto i tōna roro mō ngā kaupapa hei whawhai, ā, ka whakarite kia whakararuraru i tō hinengaro. Ko te tangata koretake, he tangata tinihanga anake ka mahi i tēnei. 

10. E hiahia ana ia kia whakakitea ia e koe ki te ao, pērā i tana whakaatu ki a koe

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu kitea o tētahi hoa tāne whai rawa ko tana tono kia tukuna atu ō whakaahua ki tō pāpāho pāpori. Ka tohe ia kia tohua koe, kia tohua hoki koe, ahakoa ō rohe pāpāho pāpori. Ka tuku kōrero ia ki ō whakaahua katoa kia mōhio ai te iwi kua tangohia koe. Ko ētahi atu huarahi hei aroturuki i ō pāpāho pāpori ko:

• Ka tirohia e ia ko wai tāu e whai ana, ko wai rānei ō hoa
• Ka tono ia kia wete koe i te whai i ngā tāne e whakaaro ana ia he ātaahua ake i a ia, ā, ka taea hoki e rātou te noho hei hoa whawhai aroha mōna.
• Ka kite ia i ngā whakaahua e pai ana ki a koe, ā, ka aroturuki pea i ngā tāngata e tukuna atu ana e koe he karere whaiaro ki a ia. 
• Ka akiaki ia i a koe kia huri i tō āhua mana whanaungatanga
• Ka tono ia kia hurihia tō DP, ka tuku pikitia ki a ia.
• Ka tono atu tētahi hoa rangatira kia tūmataiti tō pūkete

11. Kāore he wāhi whaiaro

E mea ana a Aakhansha, "Ina kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga whai mana, kāore he wā wātea, he wā mokemoke rānei. Ka pau katoa tō wā me tō kaha ki te whakarite kia harikoa ia, kia arohaina hoki. Kāore hoki he tūmataitinga mōu." Tērā pea ka whakarongo ia ki ō waea, ka ngana rānei ki te haere tahi me koe i a koe e haereere ana, e haereere ana rānei me ō hoa.

Me whai wāhi whaiaro ia tangata hei whakaora i a ia anō. He mea nui tēnei mō te whakapai ake i tō hauora hinengaro. Ehara i te mea kāore koe e aroha ki te tangata e noho tahi ana koe. Ko tōna tikanga he oranga tōu ake, ā, kāore e taea e koe te hanga i tētahi atu tangata hei pokapū o tō ao.

12. Ka wehea koe e ia i ō hoa aroha

Ki te mea kei te whakaipoipo koe i tētahi tāne whai mana, tera pea ka ngana ia ki te whakararuraru i ngā whanaungatanga kua roa nei kōrua e hanga ana me ō hoa, whānau, me ngā hoa mahi. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu whakamataku tēnei o tētahi tāne whai mana – kāore ia e hiahia kia noho tahi kōrua me tētahi atu engari ko ia anake.

Mā te tapahi i ngā hononga ki ō hoa aroha, tō hoa hae ko te whakarite kia kore he tangata i roto i tō ao e whai tikanga ana ki a koe, ā, ko wai ka taea e koe te whakarite kia nui ake tōna hiranga i a ia. Ki te tono tonu tō hoa tāne kia nui ake tō wā ki a ia mā te whakarērea i tō whānau, he tohu tēnei kei te ngana ia ki te noho motuhake i a koe. 

13. Ka whakakāhia koe e ia

E kī ana a Aakhansha, "Hei tangata whai mana, ka whakapau kaha tō hoa tāne ki te whakahaere i a koe. Kei roto i tēnei ko ngā tauira o te whakahāwea i a ia anō. Ka uru ia ki ngā kōrero whakahāwea i a ia anō hei whakapohehe i tō ao tūturu, hei mea hoki kia pātai koe ki tō hinengaro me ngā mea katoa e karapoti ana i a koe." Ko ētahi o ngā kōrero whakahāwea ka whakamahia e te hoa tāne hae me te whai mana ko:

• Kei te mahi ahau i tēnei nā te mea e aroha ana ahau ki a koe, ā, kei a au ngā whakaaro pai mōu
• I tono atu ahau kia kaua koe e noho tahi me Pita nā te mea e kino ana ahau ki tana titiro ki a koe. Ka kite ahau i roto i ōna kanohi e hiahia ana ia ki a koe/e hiahia ana ia ki te kuhu ki roto i ō tarau.
• Kei te he noa iho tō whakamārama i ngā mea katoa e puta mai ana i tōku mangai
• Āe, nui atu tō whakawhirinaki ki tō tuakana i ahau? Kei te pai koe.
• Kati te whakapae i ahau. Kāore au e aro ki tēnei
• Ki te mea he pono tō aroha ki ahau, kua whakarongo mai koe ki ahau

14. Ka riri ia ina kore koe e aro atu ki a ia

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tōmua o te tangata whai mana ko te wā e riri ana ia ki a koe mō te kore aro atu ki a ia. Tērā pea kei te pukumahi koe i te mahi, ā, ka whakapae ia i a koe mō te kore aro ki a ia. I tētahi atu taha, he pai ki a ia te kore aro ki a koe, me te whakamahi i tōna wā waatea ki te tākaro kēmu ataata mō te roa e pai ana ki a ia. Engari i te wā e whakamahi ana koe i tō waea i a ia e waatea ana, ka puta he ngangau mōna, ā, ka mahi ia me te mea he patunga o te mangere. 

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15. E whakapae ana ia i a koe mō te tinihanga i a ia

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu nui e whakaatu ana kei a koe tētahi tangata whai mana i roto i tō ao ko tana whakapae i a koe mō te tinihanga i a ia. He rerekē te whakapae i tō pono i te wā i mau ai koe e tinihanga ana i a ia i mua. Engari ki te whakapae tonu koe mō te tinihanga i a ia i a koe e pono ana, he tohu tēnā i te koretake o te whakaaro. Ka whakaatu anō hoki ia i te mana whai mana moepuku. Ki te kore koe e mōhio ki te tikanga o te mana whai mana moepuku, ko te tikanga ka whakataurite ia i tana mahi moepuku ki ērā o mua i a ia. Ka pātai atu ia ki a koe i ngā pātai whakama e pā ana ki tō oranga moepuku i te wā kāore ia i roto i tō ao. 

Ka tāpiri atu a Aakhansha, "He mea nui kia noho tahi koe me tō hoa, kia mōhio ai koe kāore koe e whakaipoipo ana i tētahi atu. Kia noho haumaru rātou, ā, kia piki ake tō rātou mana. Koinā anake te mea ka taea e koe te mahi i te tīmatanga. Engari ina whakapae mai tētahi e arohaina ana e koe mō te whara tonu i a rātou, ka pā kino pea ki tō hauora hinengaro. Ki te haere tonu tēnei whanonga, whakaarohia anō te whanaungatanga." 

16. He aroha ki a koe ngā poma 

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu whakamataku o te hoa rangatira ko te poma arohaKa hokona e ia he koha nui māu, ka ringihia he whakamoemiti ki a koe, ā, ka whakapau i te nui o te wā ki te aro nui ki a koe. Ka meatia tēnei e ia kia mau tonu ai tō aroha ki a ia, kia whakama ai hoki koe ina ngana koe ki te mawehe atu i a ia.

Tērā pea ka tae ki tētahi wā ka mahi koe i tētahi mea kāore e pai ki a ia, e takahi ana rānei i ana hiahia, ka tangohia e ia te aroha me te aro katoa. Ka whakatūria koe e ia ki runga i te tūranga teitei, kātahi ka maka ki raro me te mea kāore koe i te aro nui. Ka nui te kino o tēnei mahi kino ki tō whakaaro ki a koe anō. Ko ētahi atu tohu o te hinganga o te aroha mai i tētahi hoa rangatira:

• Ka waea tonu mai ia ki a koe ina haere koe me ō hoa ki te "tirotiro mai"
• Ka whakatenatena ia i a koe kāore he tangata pai ake i a ia e whiwhi ana koe, ā, ko ia anake te tangata e hiahia ana kia pai rawa atu māu.
• Ka nui rawa tōna hiahia, ka piripono hoki
• Ka mihi tonu ia ki a koe, ā, ka tumanako ia kia whakawhetai, kia pono rānei koe hei utu.
• Ka kōrero tonu ia mō tō heke mai ki a koe
• te ka ahua kotahi te taha o te whanaungatanga ā, ko ia anake te kaiwhakatau

17. E whakawehi ana ia ki te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga

Ka hoatu e te tāne whai mana te wāwāhi i ngā kupu whakamutunga, ā, ka whakawehi pea ia ki te wehe atu i te whanaungatanga. E whakaatu ana tēnei he tangata hae rawa ia, ā, kāore e taea e ia te whakahaere i tētahi whanaungatanga pakeke. Ko tētahi tēnei o ngā mahi tinihanga hei whakahaere me te whakahaere i a koe. 

I te pātaitanga atu Reddit mō te tuku kupu whakamutunga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ka whakahoki tētahi kaiwhakamahi, "Ko te tikanga, kei te tinihanga ia i a koe, kei te whakamahi i te whakawehi kare ā-roto hei whakatutuki i tana i pai ai. He pono, ka ngana ahau ki te kī atu ki a ia kāore tēnei i te tika, ā, ki te ngana anō ia ki te whakawehi kare ā-roto i a koe, me whakarērea ia." 

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Hononga Pana-Toia – 9 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakakore i te Hononga

18. E whakawehi ana ia ki te whara i a ia anō

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu o tētahi hoa tāne whai rawa, kaua rawa e warewaretia ko tana whakawehi ki te whara i a ia anō. He huarahi mānumanu tēnei hei whakawai i a koe, hei mahanga hoki i a koe kia noho tahi me ia. He mahi whakatoi kare ā-roto tēnei. Kāore koe i te kawenga mō āna kōwhiringa i roto i tōna ao.

Ina whakawehi mai tō hoa tāne, tō hoa rānei i a koe ki tōna ora, me rapu āwhina ngaio koe. Mena he tangata whakapehapeha, he tangata pupuri rānei tō hoa rangatira, ā, kei te rapu rongoā koe mō ngā take e pā ana ki te hauora hinengaro,  Bonobology's he rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro mātau ka koa ki te āwhina i a koe i ia taahiraa o te ara. 

5 Ngā Mea Hei Mahi Mēnā He Hoa Tāu e Manaaki Ana

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te noho tahi me tētahi hoa rangatira. Ka ngenge koe i te whakamarie i a ia i ngā wā katoa, ā, kāore he kaha e toe ana ki a koe ki te tiaki i tō oranga. Anei ētahi mea ka taea e koe te mahi mēnā he hoa rangatira tōu.

1. Hangaia anō tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō 

Kua pāngia pea tō whakapono ki a koe anō me tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō i a koe e ngana ana ki te whakatutuki i ngā hiahia o tō hoa rangatira. Akohia me pehea te aroha ki a koe ano i mua i tō whakatau i te āhuatanga kei a koe me tō hoa. Kaua rawa e pātai ki a koe anō, ki tō hinengaro rānei. Kāore he he o koe.

2. Kia mārama te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe

E mea ana a Aakhansha, "Kōrerohia mā te tuwhera ki tō hoa, kia mārama hoki te whakapuaki i ō hiahia. Kōrero atu ki a ia e hiahia ana koe kia kite i ngā huringa o āna whanonga, ā, kāore koe e aro ki ngā whakapae me ngā whakatūpato tonu." Kaua e kare ā-roto, kaua hoki e tukua te riri kia kaha ake i a koe i te wā e whakapuaki ana i ō hiahia. Puritia te kaupapa e kōrerohia ana, kaua hoki e tukua kia whakahaerea anō koe e ia. 

3. Whakatenatenahia ia kia rapu rongoā 

Kōrero atu ki a ia me whakapai ake ia. Āwhina ia ia kia wikitoria i ana raruraru āhua piripono me ētahi atu āwangawanga kua pā ki a ia. Mena e whakaute ana ia i a koe, e aroha ana hoki ki a koe, engari ko te mea nui, ki te whakaute ia i a ia anō, ā, e hiahia ana kia whakapai ake i a ia anō, ka tīmata ia ki te rapu rongoā. 

Te pānui e pā ana: Anei Me Pēhea te Whakamutu i te Tautohe Tonu i roto i te Hononga

4. Kia manawanui ki a ia

Ki te whakaae tō hoa tāne/tāne ki te kite i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro, kia manawanui ki a ia. Kāore e puta te whakaoranga i te pō kotahi. Tautokohia ia i tēnei haerenga, kia mārama hoki ki te puhoi o te ahunga whakamua. Ki te mea kei te whakaatu ia i ētahi tipu, kei te whakapau kaha ia ki te noho hei tāne pai ake. 

5. Whakaarohia te wehe atu i te whanaungatanga 

Ki te whakakahore ia i te whakaaro o te whakaora hinengaro, ā, e pai ana ki a ia te noho rangatira nā te mea e whakaaro ana ia he mana tōna, ā, e pai ana ki a ia te whara i a koe, he tika te kī kei te piri tahi kōrua ki tētahi tangata whakahihi. Mēnā koinā, me mahi koe i tēnei mutu te hononga.

He tohu aroha te mana pupuri?

He mea maori te iti o te mana pupuri i roto i te aroha, ā, i ētahi wā hononga platonic ā, ko ngā kīanga pēnei i te "Kia noho māku" me te "Nōu anake ahau" he tohu mō tēnā. Mā tēnei mana pupuri ka puta te wairua noho tahi i roto i te whanaungatanga. Heoi, pērā i ngā mea katoa, me mōhio koe ki hea te rohe mō te mana pupuri. Nō reira, ko te whakautu ki te pātai, "He tohu aroha te mana pupuri?", kei te taumata o te mana pupuri.

Ki te nui rawa te tango, ka taea te huri hei raruraru nui ka hanga he raruraru anō raruraru hononga pērā i ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki, te hae, te tukino, te whanonga whakahaere rānei. Koia te take he mea nui kia mōhio me te aro atu ki ngā tohu tōmua o te mana pupuri i mua i te kino haere o ngā mea. Ka puta mai pea te mana pupuri i ēnei mea:

• He whakaaro kāore i te rawakaKi te whakaaro tō hoa kāore ia i te rawaka māu, tera pea ka puta he wehi kei ngaro koe ki tētahi atu e pai ake ana
• Kāhua āpitihanga kore haumaru: Ngā tāngata kei a rātou he kāhua āpiti kore haumaru nā tetahi take matua ka piripono ki ō rātou whanaunga, e ahu mai ana i te wehi kei mate
• Te mate hinengaroI ētahi wā, ka taea e ngā mate hinengaro pēnei i te mate tuakiri rohe te whakararuraru i te wairua o te tangata, ka puta ake i te ahua o te piripono, te pupuri rānei i a ia anō.

Thoughts Final

He tohu aroha te pupuri i te mana o te tangata? Ae, ina he iti noa iho. Engari ki te nui rawa, ka huri hei paitini. Ina mahi tahi koe me tētahi hoa rangatira, kia mārama ki ngā whanonga a tō hoa me te take o taua whanonga. Kia manawanui, kia puritia ō riri ina ngana koe ki te kōrero ki a ia. Kia mōhio tō hoa he taiao haumaru tēnei, ā, ka taea e ia te noho haumaru ina noho tahi ia me koe. Heoi, ki te kino ngā mea, haere atu, kaua e titiro whakamuri. 

12 Ngā Tohutohu a ngā Tohunga mō te Whakamutu i te Manaaki i roto i ngā Hononga

21 Ngā Tohu Paitini o te Hoa Wahine Kāore i te Ngāwari ki te Kite - Ko ia, Ehara i a Koe

15 Tohutohu a te Tohunga hei Kati i te Paitini i roto i te Hononga

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.