E kino ana ahau ki taku hoa wahine: He aha koe ka pēnei ai, me te aha hei mahi

He rite tonu ngā whanaungatanga ki ngā kare ā-roto e rere ana, e ki ana i ngā wā o te aroha, te harikoa, me te hononga. Engari he aha te mea ka puta ina uru mai ngā kare ā-roto kino, ā, ka whakaaro koe, "E kino ana ahau ki taku hoa wahine"? He mea whakararuraru pea tēnei, engari kāore e tohu kua mutu te whanaungatanga. He mea noa ake te aroha me te kino ki tētahi i te wā kotahi i tō whakaaro. 

He maha ngā wā ka puta mai ēnei kare ā-roto i ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia, i ngā tumanakohanga kāore anō kia tutuki, i te ahotea kare ā-roto rānei, kaua i te mauahara pono. Mā te mārama ki te take o tō whakaaro pēnei me pēhea te whakatika, ka taea e koe te mārama me te whakatau i te ara pai mō tō whanaungatanga me tō oranga whaiaro. Hei kawe mai i ētahi māramatanga tohunga ki a koe, i kōrero mātou ki tētahi tohunga hinengaro me tētahi kaiwhakaora whanonga hinengaro nō California, Tākuta Shefali Batra (MD i roto i te hinengaro), he tohunga ki te tohutohu mō te wehenga me te whakarere, te wehenga me te whakaipoipo, me ngā take hototahi i mua i te marena. Me tūhuratia ngā take kei muri i ēnei kare ā-roto uaua me ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakahaere i aua kare ā-roto.

He mea noa te mauahara ki tō hoa wahine?

He mea noa iho i ētahi wā. Tērā pea aroha nui ki tētahi ā, kei te pōuri tonu, kei te riri, kei te riri rānei ki a rātou. E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "He ranunga uaua o ngā kare ā-roto ngā whanaungatanga, ā, he maha ngā wā ka noho tahi ngā kare ā-roto pai me ngā kare ā-roto kino. E whakaatu ana ngā rangahau ahakoa e mōhio ana tātou ki ō tātou kare ā-roto pai ki tētahi hoa, ka taea e ngā kare ā-roto kino te huna i raro i te mata." 

Hei tauira, tera pea ka aroha koe ki tōna wairua mōrearea engari ka riri koe ina whakararuraru āna mahere ohorere i tō rā kua whakaritea pai. Ko te mōhio ki ēnei kare ā-roto whakaranu te taahiraa tuatahi ki te aro atu ki aua kare ā-roto. Kia maumahara, ko te whakaaro "e kino ana ahau ki taku hoa wahine" ehara i te mea kua mutu te whanaungatanga - engari he tangata koe. Ina huri te aroha hei mauahara, he kōwhiringa tāu: mahi i ngā take, waiho rānei kia pirau te whakaaro kino. Me tūhura tātou he aha koe ka pēnei ai, me te aha ka taea e koe te mahi mōna.

He aha ahau i kino ai ki taku hoa wahine? 7 Ngā Whakamārama Pea

Kei te inu kawhe koe, kei te panuku i ngā meme, kātahi ka—pā! Ka mau koe i a koe anō e whakaaro ana, He aha ahau i tino kino ai ki taku hoa wahine i tēnei wā? Me te mea kua piki ake te kare ā-roto ki roto i a koe. Ehara i te mea ko te mauahara tonu—engari he hohonu ake. Ki te mea kua kite koe kei te uru koe ki taua wā ka tīmata koe ki te mauahara ki tō hoa wahine, kia mōhio koe he maha ngā wā ka puta mai i ngā kare ā-roto kāore anō kia whakatauhia, i ngā kare ā-roto kāore anō kia tutuki. hiahia aronganuiMe keri tātou ki ētahi take noa e puta ai ēnei kare ā-roto, me pēhea hoki e pā ai ki ngā āhuatanga o tō kōrua whanaungatanga.

1. Kei te mauheretia koe i roto i te whanaungatanga

Ki te tuku karere mai tō hoa wahine, "Kei hea koe?" i mua i tō whakatuwheratanga i ō kanohi i te ata, tera pea ka tino whakamomori koe. Mā te aroturuki tonu ka taea te whakakore i te rohe i waenga i te aroha me te mana whakahaere, ka whakaaro koe, e kino ana ahau ki taku whanaungatanga. Engari he tino mauahara? He maha ngā wā, he koretake o te waahi whaiaro. Ko te whakaaro kua mauheretia he tohu kei te ngaro ngā rohe. Ka tupu pai ngā whanaungatanga hauora i runga i te taurite—te wā e noho tahi ana, me te wā e wehe ana. E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "Whakaarohia mēnā kua whakapuaki koe i tō hiahia mō te wāhi, mēnā rānei kua tukua e koe te riri kia tupu. Tīmata mā te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto me te ata noho, me te mārama. Whakamāramahia mā te whai wā ki a koe anō ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakahou ake i tō wairua me te whakaatu pai ake i roto i te whanaungatanga."

2. Ka whakaatahia e ia ōu ake hapa ki a koe

E mea ana a Tākuta Batra, "E pōrangi ana koe i tana kōrero kino? I ētahi wā, ko ngā āhuatanga e kore e pai ki a koe i roto i tō hoa e whakaata ana i ō ake hapa. Ki te whakatikatika tonu ia i a koe, tera pea ka pā ki te ngākau nā te mea kua whakama kē koe ki a koe anō mō ​​te kore e tino tika." Ko te aroha me te mauahara ki tētahi i te wā kotahi ka puta mai i ngā āwangawanga kāore anō kia whakatauhia. Engari kaua e aro ki āna mahi, pātai atu ki a koe anō: He aha tēnei e tino whakararuraru ana i ahau? Mā ​​te titiro ki roto ka kitea pea ko tō riri he nui ake te pānga ki tō ake tirohanga ki a koe anō, kaua ki āna whanonga. Ka taea e tēnei mōhiotanga te āwhina i a koe kia tipu hei tangata takitahi i a koe e aro ana ki te whanaungatanga hihiri.

3. Kei te hangaia te mauahara mai i ngā wheako o mua

Ka taea e te mauahara te puta puku mai ki a koe. Tērā pea i wareware ia ki tō rā whānau i tērā tau, ā, kua mau tonu i a koe taua mamae. Ka taea e ēnei amuamu iti te puranga tae noa ki te wā ka whakaaro koe, E kino ana ahau ki taku hoa. Pēnei i tēnei Reddit kaiwhakamahi me kī atu, "He nui te tūponotanga ka mahi tō hoa i tētahi mea ka whakapataritari i a koe i tētahi wā o te whanaungatanga, ā, ko te ritenga kē. Ki te mea he pakeke koe, ka kōrero koe, ka wikitoria i taua raruraru. Ki te kore, ka noho tonu koe ki taua raruraru, ka riri tetahi ki tetahi." 

Ka kino ngā whanaungatanga i roto i ngā wā roa nā te mauahara kāore anō kia whakatauhia, ka puta he wehenga i waenganui i ngā hoa. Kaua e tukua te mauahara kia tipu, engari me aro atu ki te take. Whakahuatia ngā wā motuhake i whara ai koe, ā, whakapuakihia ō kare ā-roto me te whai hua. Arotahi ki te whakatau i ngā pakanga kaua ki te whakapae. Mā tēnei huarahi ka taea e kōrua te whakamārama i te rangi, me te hanga whakawhirinaki.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakahoki mai i tō hoa o mua – me te mea kia noho tonu rātou mō ake tonu atu

4. Kua tīmata tō tipu i ngā huarahi rerekē

E mea ana a Tākuta Batra, "Kua tīmata koe ki te aroha ki ngā podcast, i a ia e aro nui ana ki ngā pō karaoke. I te mea ka rerekē ō kōrua hiahia, he māmā noa iho te te āhua motumotu"... Ina huri te aroha ki te mauahara, he tohu tēnei me whakapau kaha te whanaungatanga ki te whakakī i te āputa." Pātai atu ki a koe anō: Ka kitea tonutia e au te harikoa i roto i tōna harikoa? Mena ko te whakautu kāore, kua tae pea te wā ki te arotake anō i te whanaungatanga. Kāore ngā rerekētanga e tohu i te mutunga o te aroha, engari me mārama me te whakaae kia mau tonu te hononga me te maioha.

5. Kāore ō reo aroha e taurite ana

Ka awhi ia i a koe, engari he pai ake ki a koe te whakarongo ki ngā kupu whakaū. He hē te kōrero mō nga reo aroha Ka arahi pea tēnei ki te pouri me ngā hiahia kāore anō kia tutuki. Mena kei te raru koe i te whakaaro, "E kino ana ahau ki taku hoa wahine", whakaarohia mēnā he māramatanga noa iho te take mō te āhua o te whakapuaki me te whiwhi aroha. Kōrerohia he aha te mea e maioha ai kōrua, ā, ngana ki te whakarite i ā kōrua mahi ki ngā hiahia o tētahi ki tētahi. Mā ngā whakarerekētanga iti ka nui te rerekētanga ki te nui o te maioha o kōrua.

Te pānui e pā ana:  E pouri ana ahau mō te whakarere i taku tāne, e hiahia ana ahau kia hoki mai ia

6. Kei te whakapouri ngā tumanakohanga kāore anō kia tutuki

Akene i whakaaro koe ka rite ia ki tō māmā i te tunu kai, i tumanako rānei koe ka tautoko tonu ia i ō mahere. Nga tumanakohanga kore Ka taea e tēnei te ārahi mārire atu i a koe ki taua wā ka tīmata koe ki te mauahara ki tō hoa wahine. Kia maumahara, he tangata ia he rerekē ōna whakaaro, ōna āhuatanga rerekē, me tōna tuakiri, ā, kāore e taea e koe te hanga noa i a ia kia uru ki tētahi tauira. E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "Mā te whakarerekē i ō tumanakohanga ka āwhina i a koe ki te kite i a ia mō tōna āhua, ehara i te mea ko wai koe e hiahia ana kia noho ia. Ka tupu pai ngā whanaungatanga ina whakaaetia ngā hoa e rua hei āhua tūturu, kaua ki te pupuri ki ngā paerewa uaua."

7. Kei te tukuna e koe tō ake ahotea ki a ia

I ētahi wā, ka pāngia tō whanaungatanga e ngā taumahatanga o te ao—te mahi, te whānau, ngā uauatanga whaiaro rānei. Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe, e kino ana ahau ki taku hoa wahine, engari ko te mea pono, kei te pouri koe ki a koe anō, ki ngā āhuatanga o waho rānei. Tūpato, ā, whakaaroaro: Kei te pouri ahau ki a ia, ki tētahi atu mea rānei i roto i tōku ao? Ka taea e tēnei mōhiotanga te huri i tō tirohanga, ā, ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatata atu ki te take me te aroha. Engari kaua e whakapae i a ia, engari me aro ki te pūtake o tō ahotea, me te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto.

11 Ngā Tohutohu Hei Whakatau i te Noho tahi me tētahi Hoa Wahine e Kino Ana Koe

Nā, kua mōhio koe, e kino ana ahau ki taku whanaungatanga (ki ētahi wāhanga rānei). Nā, me aha? I mua i tō peke atu ki pakaru Hei otinga, me whai wā koe ki te whakaaroaro ki tēnei: ​​Haunga te riri, kei te mau tonu te aroha ki taku hoa wahine? Mena ko te whakautu he āe, he aha e kore ai e whakapau kaha ki te whakaora i te whanaungatanga? Ahakoa he wā poto noa iho, he take hohonu ake rānei, anei te huarahi hei whakahaere i ō kare ā-roto me te kore e whara kino i a koe anō, i tō hoa rānei.

1. Whakaaetia, whakamanahia hoki ō kare ā-roto

He uaua te whakaae, "E kino ana ahau ki taku hoa wahine," engari kāore e āwhina te whakakore. Whakaaetia ō kare ā-roto me te kore he hara. E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "Ko te mohio ki ēnei kare ā-roto te taahiraa tuatahi ki te mārama mena he rangitahi noa iho, he tohu rānei mō tētahi raruraru hohonu ake. Whakaarohia te take o tō kare ā-roto pēnei, ā, tukua koe kia pōuri, kia pouri rānei. He tohu ngā kare ā-roto, ehara i te whakatau."

2. Tūhurahia te mea e tino whakararuraru ana i a koe

Tāutuhia ngā whanonga, ngā āhuatanga rānei e whakaoho ana i tō riri. He tikanga nāna te whakararuraru i a koe? He matenui ki ngā whetū? Mā te mōhio ki ngā mea e whakaoho ana i a koe ka āwhina i a koe ki te aro atu me te whakaaro nui, kaua ki te aro atu me te kore whakaaro. Mā tēnei māramatanga ka taea e koe te whai kōrero whai hua, ā, ka ārai i ngā māramatanga kore.

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha te aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga, me pēhea te whakaatu

3. Whakatūria, ā, whakawhitiwhitia ngā rohe hauora

Ki te mea he taumaha rawa tana tuku karere kuputuhi tonu, kōrerohia tō hiahia mō te wāhi whaiaro. Ehara ngā rohe i te mea mō te aukati i a ia ki waho—engari mō te waihanga i tētahi whanaungatanga taurite me te whakarite kia whakautehia ngā hoa tokorua. Whakamāramahia he aha ngā painga o te whai wā māu ake mā te whakaiti i te taumahatanga me te whakanui ake i te maioha.

4. Arotahi ki ngā āhuatanga pai o tō whanaungatanga

Ahakoa te piki haere o ngā pōuri, kia maumahara ki ngā mea pai o tō whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ko ia te tangata i whakatenatena i a koe i ngā wā uaua, i āwhina rānei i a koe ki te whakatutuki i tētahi whāinga whaiaro. E kī ana a Tākuta Batra, "Mā te huri i tō arotahi ka āwhina i a koe ki te tiro i te whanaungatanga i roto i te tirohanga taurite ake. Mā te whakawhetai ka whakatipu i te manawanui, ka whakapakari hoki." hononga kare ā-roto. "

5. Tukua ō whakaaro ki tētahi e whakawhirinaki ana koe, ki tētahi tohunga rānei

Tuhia ō kare ā-roto ki tētahi hoa pono, ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro rānei, pērā i a Te rōpū tohunga o Bonobology. kaua e huna. Kaua e whakapuaki i ō whakaaro ki ngā hoa, ki ngā kōrerorero rōpū rānei, nā te mea ka kino pea te whakawhirinaki. Mā te tirohanga tautoko, kore whakaaro nui ka āwhina i a koe ki te tukatuka i ō kare ā-roto me te kimi otinga.

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6. Whakamāramahia ngā take motuhake me te marino, me te whai hua hoki

Ki te mea ka riri koe ki tana kōrero pēpi, me ata noho whakapuaki i o whakaaro Kaua e riri. Whakamahia ngā kōrero "ahau" hei whakamārama i tō tirohanga me te kore e whakapae. Hei tauira, "Kei te raru ahau ina kōrero pēnei tāua, ā, he pai ake ki ahau te reo nui ake." Mā ngā kōrero whai hua ka whakatairanga i te māramatanga, ā, ka ārai i te riri.

7. Tangohia he wa mo koe

Ki te mea he nui rawa ngā kare ā-roto o te riri, mā te noho motuhake ka mārama ake, ka whakaiti hoki i te taumahatanga. Ahakoa he haerenga mutunga wiki, he haerenga ahiahi rānei me ngā hoa, mā te noho takitahi koe e āwhina ki te whakaaroaro ki ō kare ā-roto me te whakahou ake i a koe anō. Mā te ngaro atu ka taea e koe te whakanui ake i te ngākau, te āwhina rānei i a koe ki te whakatata atu ki te whanaungatanga me tētahi tirohanga hou.

8. Āta karohia ngā whanonga pukuriri-kore

E mea ana a Tākuta Batra, "Kaua e whakamahi i ngā mahi iti pēnei i te kore aro ki ana karere kuputuhi, te huna rānei i ana mea hei riri. Ka whakanui ake ēnei mahi i te taumahatanga, ā, ka puta he raruraru koretake." He huarahi whai hua ake te aro atu ki ngā take i runga i te whakaaro nui me te tuwhera ki te whakatau i te pakangaNoho ki raro ki te kōrero pono, kia mau hoki te marino me te whakaute o tō reo.

9. Kimihia te katakata i roto i ngā pōuri

I ētahi wā, ko te kata te rongoā pai rawa atu. Ki te whakapataritari ia koe i ana āhuatanga rerekē, ngana ki te kite i te katakata kei roto i aua āhuatanga. Ka taea e te katakata te whakaiti i te taumahatanga me te whakamahara i a koe he aha koe i kukume ai ki a ia i te tuatahi. Mā te kata tahi ka taea whakapakari i tō hononga ā, whakamārama ake i te wairua.

10. Whakaarohia te take kei roto tonu koe i te whanaungatanga

Pātai atu ki a koe anō he aha koe i roto i te whanaungatanga. He aha te mea e pupuri ana i a kōrua kia noho tahi? Mena he nui ake ngā āhuatanga kino i ngā āhuatanga pai, kua tae pea te wā ki te neke tonuHe mea nui te whakaaroaro pono hei whakatau tika. Whakaarohia mēnā he rangitahi noa iho ō kare ā-roto, he tohu rānei kāore ō hiahia e tutukihia ana.

11. Rapua he awhina ngaio ki te hiahiatia

Ki te mea he uaua tonu te whanaungatanga, whakaipoipo faaipoipo ka taea te āwhina. Ka taea e te rōpū tuatoru kore whakaaro te whakarato i ngā māramatanga me ngā taputapu hei whakatere i ngā pakanga me te whai hua. Ehara te rongoā i te tohu o te korenga angitu—he taahiraa ki te māramatanga me te tipu mō ngā hoa e rua.

Thoughts Final

He mea whakararuraru te whakaaro, "E kino ana ahau ki taku hoa wahine," engari he wāhanga tūturu tēnei o tētahi whanaungatanga. Ko te aroha me te mauahara ki tētahi i te wā kotahi e whakaata ana i te uaua o ngā kare ā-tangata. Ina huri te aroha hei mauahara, he wā tēnei ki te whakaaroaro me te tipu - takitahi, ā, hei tokorua hoki. Ahakoa e whiriwhiri ana kōrua ki te whakaoti i ngā take, ki te wehe rānei i te ara, me whakarite kia pai ake tō oranga kare ā-roto. He haerenga ngā whanaungatanga, ā, ko ia wero he wā ki te mārama ake ki a kōrua ko tō hoa.

Me pēhea te tīmata i te whakaipoipo: Ngā tohutohu mō te hunga tīmata me te hunga e tīmata anō ana

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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