Te Whakapōrearea Aroha Kore-Āta: 9 Ngā Huarahi e Pōhēhē ai Koe i tō Hoa

Ko te whakamomori aroha he momo tukino hinengaro me te kare ā-roto e huna ana i te nuinga o te wā hei whakapatipati nui, he taputapu pai hoki nā te hunga whakahihi ki te kukume i te hiahia aroha me te whakahaere i a rātou. Heoi, kāore i te tatauhia, i te whakaaroarohia rānei tēnei tauira whanonga i ngā wā katoa. I ētahi wā, nā ō rātou ake kawenga kare ā-roto, ka mutu pea te tangata ki te mahi tonu i ēnei whanonga me te kore e mōhio kei te mahi rātou. E mōhiotia ana tēnei ko te whakamomori aroha kore whakaaro. 

Heoi, ahakoa kāore i te āta whakaarohia tētahi whanonga, ehara i te mea kāore i te kino ki ō whanaungatanga. Mēnā he kaha rawa tōu aroha i te tīmatanga o tētahi hononga aroha, he nui rawa rānei tō kaha ki te whiwhi i te pai o tētahi hoa aroha, ā, ka mutu, ka hinga rātou i ahau, me pātai koe ki a koe anō, "Kei te tūpono noa ahau ki te hinga i te tangata e pai ana ahau/e aroha ana ahau ki a ia?" 

Mā tātou koe e āwhina ki te kimi i te whakautu ki tēnei pātai whakamataku mā te ruku hohonu atu ki te tikanga o te pōrearea aroha kāore i te tūpatohia, ngā take kei muri, ngā tohu whakatūpato kei te hara pea koe i tēnei mahi, me te huarahi hoki hei wawahi i tēnei tauira, me ngā tirohanga mai i ētahi tohunga hauora hinengaro me ngā tohunga whanaungatanga rongonui.  

He aha te Whakapōrearea Aroha Kore-Āta?

Ka puta te pōrearea aroha kore-whakaaro ina tukuna e te tangata ki tana hoa te aroha nui rawa, te aro nui, me ngā taonga i te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga, me te kore e mōhio he whanonga kino, he tinihanga rānei tēnei whanonga nui. He rerekē ki te pōrearea aroha kua āta whakaarohia, he rautaki whakahaere kua tatauhia, ko te pōrearea aroha kore-whakaaro i ahu mai i ngā kare ā-roto pono, engari ka taea tonu te kino ki te hononga aroha e tipu haere ana. 

E kī ana te tohunga hinengaro a Ami Kaplan, LCSW, ahakoa te poma aroha e hono pinepine ana ki te mate hinengaro whakahihi, "ka taea e te tangata katoa te pupuhi aroha." E whakanui ana ia i roto i te nuinga o ngā wā, he whanonga kore mohio e ahu mai ana i te momo piripono o te tangata, te whakaaro nui ki a ia anō, me te āhua pāpori. Me tūhuratia me pēhea e taea ai e ia o ēnei āhuatanga te whai wāhi atu ki te pupuhi aroha o te tangata ki tana hoa, ahakoa kāore he whakaaro kino kei muri i ā rātou mahi:  

Te momo piri me ngā wheako o te wā tōmua

E ai ki ariā āpitihanga, ko te huarahi e whakatū ai tātou i ngā whanaungatanga i te pakeketanga ka pāngia e ā tātou taunekeneke tōmua me ngā kaitiaki. Mēnā ka pāngia tētahi tangata e te koretake, e te kore aro rānei i a ia e tipu ake ana, tera pea ka nui rawa atu tana utu i roto i ngā whanaungatanga mā te tuku aroha me te aro nui ki tōna hoa. He maha ngā wā ka akiakihia tēnei whanonga e te wehi hohonu kei whakarērea, kei whakakorengia rānei.

E whakamārama ana te tohunga hinengaro, a Tākuta Laura Berman, "Tērā pea ka taupokina tō hoa e te aroha e te hunga whai momo piri āwangawanga, me te kore e mōhio kei te whiti rātou i ngā rohe, hei ngana kia kore ai tō hoa e wehe." Hei tauira, ki te mea he momo piri āwangawanga tōu, tērā pea ka hiahia koe ki te whakamanawa tonu i tō hoa mō tō aroha me tō pono, hei huarahi ki te pupuri i tā rātou whakapau kaha, ki te rapu whakamanawa rānei i a rātou hei whakatenatena i a koe anō kāore rātou e wehe i a koe, ahakoa kāore he tohu e whakaatu ana ka wehe atu rātou. 

Te koretake me te wehi kei whakakahoretia

Ko te whakaekenga aroha kore whakaaro ka hua pea i ngā āwangawanga huna o te tangata. Ina wehi koe kei mawehe atu tō hoa i a koe nā te mea kua pā mai tētahi mea rite ki a koe i mua, kāore rānei koe i te tino mōhio ki ōna kare ā-roto, ka nui rawa atu pea tō utu mā te ngana ki te hanga i te whanaungatanga tata me te hononga mā te whakamoemiti tonu, te aro, te whakapā atu rānei. I tēnei wā, ko te nui rawa o te aroha, te nui rawa rānei o te kōrero he huarahi hei whakanui ake i te wairua. te haumaru i roto i te whanaungatanga.

E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Alexandra Solomon, he tohunga hinengaro whai raihana, "Ko te hunga kua pāngia e ngā panga, e te whakarērea rānei o mua, ka whakapau kaha pea rātou kia kore ai tā rātou hoa o nāianei e whakarērea i a rātou, ahakoa he nui rawa atu te kaha e pā ki a rātou." 

Te pānui e pā ana: Kitea tō uara: 13 Ngā Huarahi hei Whakaaetia e Arohaina ana, e Maiohatia ana hoki

Te mana whaiaro e hono ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga

Ko te hiahia kia nui rawa te whakapau kaha ki tētahi whanaungatanga nā te mea kei te whakaaro koe ko tō hoa te tangata e whakatau ana i tō mana ake, ka arahi pea ki te pupuhi aroha kore-ā-roto. Ki te tīmata koe ki te titiro ki tētahi whanaungatanga hei whakatutukitanga e whakatau ana i tō mana, ka whakapau kaha pea koe ki te whakarite kia tino tika ngā mea katoa i ngā wā katoa, ā, ka mutu ka nui rawa te whakapau kaha kare ā-roto ki roto i te whanaungatanga, ka arahi pea tēnei ki te kore e aro ki ngā rohe o tō hoa. 

Hei whakaū anō i tēnei, e kī ana a Tākuta Carla Manly, he kaiwhakaora whanaungatanga, "Ina nui rawa te mana o te tangata ki te tuku i a ia anō ki roto i ngā ringa o tētahi atu tangata, ka taea e rātou te whakararuraru i tā rātou hoa ki te nui rawa o te aroha hei pupuri i taua mea." hononga kare ā-roto. "

Te whakatauira i tētahi hoa rangatira

He wāhanga tūturu o te tīmatanga te whakaaro nui ngā wāhanga o ngā whanaungatanga arohaIna tae koe ki te wā marena rongonui, ka kite koe i tō hoa rangatira he "tino pai" he "tino tika" rānei. Ahakoa he tikanga maori tēnei mō ngā whanaungatanga aroha, ki te nui rawa atu tō whakaaro pai mā te whakaatu tonu i tō whakamoemiti kia mōhio ai tō hoa rangatira ki te nui o tō aroha, tō uara rānei ki a ia, ka waiho pea ia e te āhua kore whakamarie, te pēhanga rānei. 

Whakaritenga hapori

E kī ana a Tākuta Emily Roberts, he kaiwhakaora whanaungatanga, "He maha ngā wā e ako ana te hapori i a tātou me whakaatu te aroha i roto i ngā huarahi whakaari, ā, ka taea e te tangata te whakauru i ēnei karere ki roto, ka arahi ki ngā whanonga ka taea te pehi, te pēhi rānei i tā rātou hoa." Ki te aro koe ki te whakaaro o te aroha nui me te ngākau nui e whakaatuhia ana i roto i ngā kiriata me ngā whakaaturanga pouaka whakaata, tera pea koe e whakaaro ko ngā tohu aroha tonu me ngā whakaaturanga aroha nui anake ngā huarahi ki te kia arohaina tō hoaHeoi, ko te mea "noa" māu, tera pea ka nui rawa atu ki tō hoa.  

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Hinengaro o te Aroha: Ngā Ariā e Whai Hua ai ngā Hononga

9 Ngā Mahi e Whakaaro Ana Kei Te Patupatua Koe e te Aroha ki Tō Hoa, Me Te Kore E Mōhio

Nā te mea kua mārama koe ki te tikanga o te "aroha pōrearea kore whakaaro", tera pea ka māmā ake ki a koe te tautuhi mēnā kua nui rawa ngā mea kua tukuna e koe ki tō hoa aroha i te wā e tere ana. Ahakoa kei te wāhi tika pea tō ngākau, ko te kore e aro ki ngā rohe o tō hoa, me te kore e waiho he wāhi mō te whanaketanga maori o te whanaungatanga ka hoki whakamuri. 

Whakaarohia a Melinda rāua ko George, i tūtaki rāua mā roto i ngā hoa. I aroha tonu a George ki a Sarah, ā, i tono atu ki a ia kia haere tahi rāua. Ahakoa i pai te haere o te rā, nā te whanonga o George i muri mai i oma atu a Melinda ki te huarahi kē. Neke atu i te haora i muri i te mutunga o tā rāua rā tuatahi, ka tukuna e George he karere kuputuhi e kī ana he tino pai te wā i a ia. I pai katoa, ā, tae noa ki tēnei wā, i mihi a Melinda ki te pono o George. Engari, kāore i mutu te tae mai o ngā karere. 

I te pō katoa, tae noa ki te aonga ake, ka tukuna tonutia e ia ngā karere aroha ki a ia, me te whakaatu i tana korenga i pēnei te āhua ki tētahi atu i mua. I te mutunga o te rā, ka i tono mō tētahi atu rāI te harikoa o te wahine nei ki te nui o tōna aroha ki a George, ka whakaae ia. I roto i te wiki, ka ohorere ia i tētahi hei whakapaipai utu nui, ā, ka tono atu kia haere tahi rāua mō te hararei mutunga wiki. 

Ināianei, ka tīmata a Melinda ki te pōuri i te tere me te kaha o tēnei hononga aroha e tipu haere ana. I pai ia ki te noho tahi me Geroge engari kāore anō kia rite mō ēnei whanaketanga tere. He pono ngā whakaaro o George; i whakapono ia mā te whakapuaki i ōna kare ā-roto me te whakahīhī, ka whakakaha ia i tā rāua hononga. Heoi, nā āna mahi i pēhi pōhēhē a Melinda, ka pōuri ia, ka māharahara hoki. I te mutunga ka mea ia kāore e taea e ia te haere tonu ki te kite i a ia. 

Mena he rite tonu te ahua o tō whanonga i te tīmatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga aroha, he mea tika kia whakaaroarohia te pātai, "Kua pāngia ahau e te aroha?" Ahakoa ehara te whāinga i te whakahaere, i te te whakahaere i ngā whanaungatanga, ka ārai pea āu mahi i te hanga hononga pono ki tētahi e pai ana ki a koe. Anei ētahi mahi e iwa e tohu ana kei te pōrearea koe i tō hoa aroha, ā, me whakaaro anō koe ki tō huarahi: 

Te pānui e pā ana: 9 Ngā Tūponotanga o te Hinga Tere ki te Aroha, me pēhea te Whakamutu

1. Te tuku karere kuputuhi, te waea atu rānei i ngā wā katoa

Ko te tuku karere kuputuhi, te waea atu rānei ki tō hoa i ngā wā katoa ki te tirotiro, ki te kī atu rānei i te nui o tō aroha, tētahi o ngā tauira tino rongonui o te whakaeke aroha kāore i te whakaarohia. E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Alexandra Solomon, he tohunga hinengaro haumanu, "Ina toro atu tonu tētahi hoa ki a ia, ka taea te hanga i te wairua herenga, ehara i te hononga." Tērā pea ka pēhia tō hoa ki te whakahoki atu, ā, ka tere pea te arahi ki te wairua o te te āhua e hemo ana i roto i te whanaungatanga. Nā, me pēhea koe e mōhio ai he nui rawa te auau o ō waea me ō tuhinga? Āe, anei ētahi tohu: 

• Ka tukuna e koe he maha ngā karere kuputuhi i te rarangi kotahi mena kāore rātou e whakautu mai
• Ka waea atu koe i ngā wā maha puta noa i te rā, kāore rawa e hoatu he wā ki tō hoa kia whakapā atu ko ia anake
• Te whakama o tō hoa ina kore e taea, e kore rānei e pai ki te whakahoki mai 

2. Te whakamahere i ngā rā tino nui, i ngā ohorere rānei

Ko te whakarite i ngā rā whakahirahira, i ngā mahi whakahirahira rānei, tētahi atu huarahi pea ka raru ai tō hoa mā te whakaatu he tino kaha rawa koe. Ko tētahi atu take he tohu whero tēnei, he maha ngā wā ka puta mai i te whakaaro kāore koe i te pai, ka arahi pea ki te utu nui rawa. E kī ana a Tākuta Manly, "I ētahi wā, tohu nui "e whakamahia ana hei whakakapi i te wehi kei kore e ranea, hei waihanga rānei i te whakaaro teka o te piripono." Mena kei te whakaaro koe, "Kei te pōrearea taku aroha ki taku hoa?", tirohia mēnā kei te hara koe i ēnei whanonga e whai ake nei: 

• Te whakarite i ngā haerenga ohorere, i ngā tina aroha rānei i ngā wā katoa
• Te nui rawa o ngā koha, ngā mahi aroha nui rānei 
• Te whakamahere i ngā mea me te kore e aro ki te whai huatanga o te hoa rangatira

3. Te whakanui i tō hoa ki ngā mihi

E mōhio ana ahau ki tāu e whakaaro nei—ko wai rā e kore e pai ki ngā mihi! Ahakoa he pono tēnā, ā, he mea nui ngā mihi hei whakaatu i te maioha ki tō hoa, ki te nui rawa—ina koa i te tīmatanga—ka kore rātou e pai. E mea ana a Tākuta Shannon Kolakowski, he tohunga hinengaro, "Ki te kōrero tonu koe ki tō hoa mō tōna mīharotanga, ka taea e tēnei te waihanga i tētahi āhuatanga e whakaaro ai rātou kāore e whakaaetia kia whakaatu i ō rātou hapa." 

Te pānui e pā ana: He nui rawa te hoatu i roto i te whanaungatanga? Kia pehea te nui o te hoatu i a koe anō

4. Te akiaki i te piripono me te whanaungatanga

Ko te akiaki i tō hoa kia piri atu ki a rātou anō i tua atu i tā rātou i rite ai he tohu anō tēnei o te pupuhi aroha kāore i te whakaarohia. Mena kei te hiahia rātou ki te wāhi, ā, ka akiaki tonu koe kia piri tonu, ka ahua pēhia koe. E ai ki te kaiwhakaora whanaungatanga, ki a Tākuta Roberts, "Mā te akiaki wawe rawa kia piri, me te kore e whakaute i ngā rohe, ka puta te manukanuka me te ātete i roto i tō hoa." Anei te wā ka huri ai ō ngana ki te hanga piripono i roto i te whanaungatanga hei tauira pupuhi aroha kāore i te whakaarohia: 

• Te tohe ki ngā kōrero hohonu, whaiaro hoki, kāore e pai ki tō hoa 
• Te maka atu i ngā whara hei whakaoho i te ngoikore i roto i te whanaungatanga
• Te tohe kia tutuki ngā taumata nui o te whanaungatanga pērā i te neke tahi i te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga

5. Te whakaputa kupu whakaari nui i te wā poto rawa

I ētahi wā, i roto i te harikoa o tētahi hononga hou, ka taea e koe te whakaputa kupu whakaari, ngā whakapuakitanga rānei kāore i te tino wawe, pērā i te kōrero mō tētahi heke mai tahi i muri i ētahi wiki noa iho o te whakaipoipo, te kī rānei i tō hoa ko "te mea kotahi" ko "tō hoa wairua" rānei, ahakoa kāore anō kia whawhai tuatahi kōrua. E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Berman, "Mā te whakaputa kupu whakaari whānui pērā i te marena, te wawe tonu rānei ka taea te hanga he tumanakohanga kore ā, ka nui rawa te pēhanga e pā ana ki te whanaungatanga.”

6. Te whakapau i ō wā waatea katoa ki te noho tahi

E mārama ana ahau, ina tūtaki koe ki tētahi tangata hou, ā, e aroha nui ana koe, ka hiahia koe ki te whakapau i ia wā o te ara ki a ia. Heoi, ahakoa e hiahia ana koe ki tētahi mea, ehara i te mea he pai mōu. Tērā pea ka hiahia koe ki te whakakī i te keke i ia rā, engari e mōhio ana koe ki te huarahi ka arahina koe e tēnā. Pērā anō hoki mō tō whanaungatanga. 

Ina mahi koe i runga i tō hiahia kia noho tahi me tētahi hoa hou i ngā wā katoa e taea ana, ā, ka whakarite tonu koe i ngā mahere hei whakapau i tō wā waatea katoa ki tō hoa, ka pakaruhia e koe ngā whai wāhitanga katoa mōna. waahi whaiaro ā, ka taea e tēnei te meinga tō hoa kia whakaaro kei te hipa koe i tōna oranga katoa, kāore he wāhi e toe ana mōna ki te whakatutuki i āna atu herenga, ki te arotahi noa rānei ki te tiaki i a ia anō. 

7. Te kore aro ki tā rātou hiahia mō te wāhi

Ko tētahi tohu matua o te aroha nui ko te kore e mōhio ki te wā e hiahia ana tō hoa ki te wā whaiaro, ki te wāhi rānei, ahakoa e tono mārama ana rātou mō tēnā. Tērā pea ka whakaae tō hoa ki ō mahi whakahihi mō tētahi wā, engari i tētahi wā, ka kī tika atu rātou ki a koe e hiahia ana rātou ki tētahi wāhi, ka tohu rānei mā te whakatakoto i ngā take hei whakakore i a koe ina whakaarohia e koe tētahi mahere i muri i tētahi, ina waea atu rānei rātou ki ngā waea me ngā whakamātautau. 

Ki te kore koe e whakaute i ō rātou rohe, engari ka haere tonu koe ki te atawhai i a rātou, ki te ngana rānei ki te noho tahi me rātou i ngā wā katoa, kei te pupuhi aroha koe i a rātou me te mea kāore he mahi a tetahi. I a ia e whakamārama ana he aha tēnei he mea kino ki te hauora, ka whakamārama a Tākuta Kolakowski, "Ki te mea kei tawhiti tō hoa rātou anō, ā, ka tohe koe kia piri atu, ka tūpono koe ki te takahi i ō rātou rohe whaiaro, ka arahi atu ki te mauahara.”

Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Tohu Kei te Ngaro Koe i a Koe Anō i roto i tētahi Hononga, Me Ngā Hipanga e 5 Hei Kimi Anō i a Koe Anō

8. Te whakanui rawa i tō rātou harikoa i tōu ake

Ahakoa me noho te whanaungatanga hei kaupapa matua i roto i tō ao, kaua e waiho hei kaupapa matua, hei kaupapa matua anake rānei. Ki te kore koe e aro ki ōu ake hiahia, ki te aro tonu rānei ki ō tō hoa, kei te whakatakoto koe i te ara mō tētahi whanaketanga tino kino. 

E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Manly, "Ina arotahi noa koe ki te whakahari i tō hoa, ā, ka wareware koe ki tō ake harikoa, ka tūpono koe ki te whakawhanake i tētahi whanaungatanga taupatupatu kāore e pai mō ngā taha e rua." Tērā pea ka arahi tēnei ki ngā kare ā-roto o te noho tahi karekau, māu me tō hoa rangatira. Anei ētahi tauira o te kore e whakatakoto tika i ō kaupapa matua he momo whakaeke aroha korekore anō hoki:

• Ka whakakorea e koe ngā mahere me te kore whakaaro tuarua mēnā ko te tikanga ka whai wā koe me tō hoa 
• Ka whakamahere koe i tō rā katoa, i tō oranga rānei, kia rite ki ngā hiahia o tō hoa, ahakoa ka waiho koe kia ngenge rawa
• Ka nui rawa tō whakapau kaha ki te mahi i ngā mea e whakaaro ana koe ka hari rātou, me te kore e whakaaro ki tō ake oranga, ki tō ake oranga rānei

9. Te hanga i ngā mea katoa mō te whanaungatanga

E ai ki taku kōrero, ahakoa he mea nui te whanaungatanga, ehara i te mea ko ia anake. Ina arotahi ngā mahi katoa ki te whanaungatanga, ka rite te āhua kāore he wāhi mō te takitahi, te tipu whaiaro rānei, ka tere ai te noho pūmau o te hononga, ka tere hoki te whakamomori. E ai ki a Tākuta Berman, "He mea maori te hiahia ki te arotahi ki tō hoa, engari ki te pau katoa te whanaungatanga, ka arahi pea ki ngā kare ā-roto o te whakamomori, te ngenge rānei o te hinengaro."

Te Pānga o te Aroha Tūponokore ki te Hononga

Ahakoa ka taea e koe te hono atu ki ngā whanonga kua whakahuatia ake nei i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, tera pea ka whakaaro koe, "He kaha, he pono ōku kare ā-roto mō taku hoa, ā, e hiahia ana ahau ki te whakapuaki i aua kare ā-roto. He aha te hē o tēnā? He kino tonu te whakapōrearea i te aroha? Āe, he mea nui kia mōhio koe ahakoa ngā mahi pai ka taea te whakapōrearea i te hoa, ā, ka ngaro atu i a koe tētahi whanaungatanga kua puāwai hei mea hohonu, whai tikanga hoki me i hoatu e koe he wā ki te tipu ā-taiao. Ko te whakapōrearea i te aroha kāore i te whakaarohia ka pakaru i te tino... te turanga o tētahi whanaungatanga, i roto i nga huarahi e whai ake nei:

Te pānui e pā ana: 5 Ngā Tohu e Whakauru Ana Koe ki tētahi Hononga Hē

1. Ka pāngia tō hoa e te mamae ā-hinengaro

Ina ringihia tonutia e koe te aroha me te aro ki tō hoa, ka tino taumaha rawa atu ki a rātou, inā koa mēnā e hiahia ana rātou ki te wāhi nui ake, ki te wā rānei hei whakahaere i ō rātou kare ā-roto. Hei tauira, ki te tuku karere kuputuhi, waea atu rānei koe ki tō hoa i ngā wā maha i te rā, ahakoa kāore anō kia whakautua mai, tera pea ka tīmata rātou ki te manukanuka mō te kōrero ki a koe, ā, ka arahi pea tēnei ki te ngenge o te kare ā-roto.

2. Ka meinga tō hoa kia pēhia kia whakahoki atu

Ka taea e te whakapōrearea aroha te hanga i tētahi tumanako huna kia rite tō hoa ki tō taumata aroha, ki tō whakapau kaha rānei, ka taea ai e rātou te whakaaro kāore i te rawaka, te hara rānei mēnā kāore ō rātou kare ā-roto i te rite i te tere kotahi. E whakamārama ana a Tākuta Manly, "Ina ringihia e tētahi hoa te aroha nui rawa, ka taea e ia te pēhi i tētahi atu kia kare ā-roto, kia mahi rānei i te ara kotahi, ka taea ai e tēnei te hanga i te manukanuka, i te ruarua rānei i a ia anō."

3. Ka puta te kore taurite i roto i te whanaungatanga

Ki te mea kei te tīmata tonu koe i ngā mahere, kei te whakatau i ngā mea mō te whanaungatanga, me te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto, tera pea ka tīmata tō hoa ki te whakaaro kei te kahakina rātou, kaua ki te whai wāhi kaha ki te whanaungatanga. Ka puta he whārite taha-taurite kaua ki te mahi tahi a ngā tāngata ōrite.  

E mea ana a Tākuta Berman, "Ina kaha te kotahi o ngā hoa ki te tuku i ngā kare ā-roto i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka puta he kore taurite ka arahi ki te riri, te wehe, ā, i te mutunga, te momotu." I muri i tētahi wā, ka tīmata pea koe ki te whakaaro kei te tino nui rawa atu koe e tuku ana i a koe ki te whanaungatanga, ā, ka pouri tonu koe nā te mea kāore tō hoa e whakahoki mai. I tētahi atu taha, ka kitea pea e tō hoa he koretake tō whanonga, ā, ka pana atu me te kī, "Āe, kāore au i tono mō tētahi o ēnei."

Te pānui e pā ana: 15 Ngā Tohu o te Wehenga Kare ā-roto i roto i tō Hononga

4. Ka puta ngā kare ā-roto o te kore pono

Ina tino kaha rawa, ina ohorere rānei ngā whakapuakitanga o te aroha, ka puta he whakaaro hē, ā, ka waiho pea tō hoa ki te pātai mēnā he pono ō kare ā-roto, mēnā rānei kei te pēnei noa iho tō whanonga nā te mea kei te whakaaro koe koinei te mea e hiahia ana rātou kia rongo. E kī ana a Tākuta Roberts, "Ahakoa kāore i te whakaarohia te pupuhi aroha, ka kitea pea he nui rawa, he mea tuhi rānei, ka arahi i te kaiwhiwhi ki te ruarua i te pono o te hononga."

5. Ka arahi atu ki ngā tumanakohanga kāore i tutuki

E mea ana a Tākuta Horomona, "Ka puta mai ngā tumanakohanga kāore i tutuki i te kore e ōrite te āhua o te whakapuakitanga o te aroha, ā, ka puta he raruraru mena kāore ngā hoa e rua e whakaae ana ki ngā kare ā-roto." Mena ka haere tonu koe whakapuaki i o whakaaro o te aroha me te ngākau pono engari kāore tō hoa e whakahoki mai i te huarahi kotahi, ka tīmata pea koe ki te pōuri, ki te kore rānei e tino mōhio mō tā rāua whakapau kaha. I taua wā anō, i te mea kua taupokina koe e tō aroha tonu, ka tīmata pea tō hoa ki te wehe atu i ngā kare ā-roto. Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe ka pērā anō te kaha o tō hoa, engari me nui ake te wā hei whakataurite i tō tere. Ka puta he koretake ka tūpono ki te oranga tonutanga o te whanaungatanga. 

Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakapai Ake i te Whakawhitiwhiti Kōrero i roto i ngā Hononga

6. Ka whakararuraruhia te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hauora

He aha te kino o te whakamomori aroha, e whakaaro ana koe? Whakaarohia tēnei: ​​he rā uaua tō hoa i te mahi, ā, e hiahia ana ia ki te noho marino hei whakawātea i ōna whakaaro, e hiahia ana rānei ia ki te haere tahi me ōna hoa ki te whakaputa i tōna harikoa. Engari ka tae atu koe ki tana wāhi mahi, me ngā putiputi i te ringa, kua whakaritea he kai, me te tumanako mō tētahi rā aroha, engari kāore tō hoa i te hinengaro tika mōna, ā, ka ara ake he pakanga. 

E pouri ana koe nā te mea kāore rātou e maioha ki tō mahi whakaaro nui. E riri ana rātou nā te mea kāore koe e hoki whakamuri, e tuku manawa ana rānei ki a rātou. Koinei te mea ka puta ina pōrearea tō hoa aroha i tō hoa. Tērā pea kei te aro nui koe ki te whakaatu i tō aroha ki tō hoa, ā, ka wareware koe ki te pātai atu mō ō rātou kare ā-roto, ki te tuku wāhi rānei ki a rātou ki te whakapuaki i ō rātou whakaaro me ō rātou āwangawanga.

Ina nui rawa te aroha o te tangata, ka neke atu pea te arotahi o te whanaungatanga mai i te korero tuwhera ki te ngana ki te 'whakahaere', ki te 'whiwhi' rānei i te aroha, ā, i roto i taua mahi, ka ngaro i a koe te whai wāhi ki te hanga māramatanga me te hononga tahi.

7. Ka whakatupu i te ruarua me te kore haumaru

E mea ana a Tākuta Kolakowski, "Ka taea e te whakahāwea aroha te arahi i te ruarua ki a ia anō mō ​​te kaiwhiwhi, ka pōuri pea rātou i te tere, i te kaha rānei, ka ārahi i a rātou ki te wehe atu ki te arotake anō i ō rātou ake kare ā-roto." Mena ka ohorere tō hoa i te kaha o tō aroha, ka tīmata pea rātou ki te ruarua i ō rātou ake kare ā-roto, ki te mea rānei kua tino rite rātou mō tētahi herenga kaha. Ka taea e tēnei te meinga rātou kia wehe atu, kia whakaoho i te te mau mana'o papu ore i roto i a koe.

7 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakatika i te Pōrearea Aroha Tūpono i roto i ngā Hononga

Ki te mea kua mōhio koe he mahi pōrearea pea āu mahi ki tō hoa, he mea pai kia whakatikahia e koe. Anei ngā huarahi e whitu hei whakatika i ō whanonga, hei whakapiki ake i te taurite me te te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi i roto i tō whanaungatangaMā ēnei rautaki koe e āwhina ki te waihanga i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora ake, me te pupuri tonu i te hononga i waenganui i a koe me tō hoa.

1. Kia mōhio me te whakaute i ō rātou rohe

Me whai wāhi te katoa ki te tukatuka i ō rātou kare ā-roto, tae atu ki te wā wehe atu i te aroha me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tonu. Koia te take, ko tētahi o ngā mahi tuatahi ki te whakatika i te pōrearea aroha kāore i te whakaarohia ko te ako ki te mōhio me te whakaute i te aroha o tō hoa. rohe aronganuiTīmata mā te pātai ki tō hoa mō ōna rohe. Hei tauira, "E mōhio ana ahau kua maha aku karere kuputuhi. He aha ō whakaaro mō tēnā? Me whai wāhi koe i ētahi wā?" 

Kātahi, ngana ki te whakaute i ngā rohe kua whakatakotoria e tō hoa. Hei tauira, ki te mea kei te pōuri rātou i te tumanako kia kōrero tonu, whakaharatau ki te tatari i mua i te tuku karere maha, i te waea atu rānei. Hoatu he wā ki tō hoa ki te whakautu takitahi.

2. Whakaroahia te tere, ā, hoatu he wā ki tō hoa kia hopu i a ia anō

Engari i te tere haere i roto i te tohu hononga ki te akiaki rānei i te whanaungatanga hohonu, hoki whakamuri, ka tuku i te wā ki tō hoa ki te tukatuka me te whakataurite i tō taumata aroha. E kī ana a Tākuta Roberts, he kaiwhakaora whanaungatanga, "Tukua tō hoa ki te ārahi i ētahi āhuatanga o te whanaungatanga. Kaua e hiahia ki te akiaki i te whanaungatanga tata, i ngā herenga rānei i mua i te rite." 

Mā tēnei ka ārai i te taumahatanga o te whanaungatanga, ā, ka hoatu he wāhi ki te whanaungatanga kia tipu ake i te tere hauora. Mena kua whakapuaki kē kōrua i ngā kōrero nui, kua kōrero rānei mō te heke mai, ngana ki te whakaiti i aua kaupapa. Tukua tō hoa ki te tīmata i ēnei kōrero ina pai ia. Arotahi ki te pārekareka ki ngā wā o nāianei me tō hoa, kaua e hohoro te tautuhi i te heke mai.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakaroa i te whanaungatanga mēnā he tere rawa te haere

3. Whakatauritehia tō aroha ki te kōrero hauora

Ahakoa te aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga he mea nui, kaua e huna i te hiranga o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero auau, taurite hoki. Kia mōhio kei te arotahi ō kōrero ki tua atu i te aroha anake—kia kōrerotia whānuitia ō whakaaro, ō kare ā-roto, tae atu ki ō āwangawanga.

E mea ana a Tākuta Kolakowski, "Ko te taurite te mea nui. Ina kōrero whānuitia ō kare ā-roto, me te kore e tino pā ki te tangata kē atu, ka hangaia he wāhi mō ngā hoa e rua kia rongohia, kia māramahia hoki." Kia taea ai e koe te mahi i tēnā, me mahi koe i

• Arotahi ki te hanga i tētahi turanga mō te whakawhirinaki me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero
• Whakaritea he wā ki te kōrero ki tō hoa mō ōna hiahia, ōna āwangawanga, me ōna wawata
• Pātai atu ki ētahi atu pātai tuwhera pēnei i te, "Kei te pēhea ō whakaaro mō mātou i tēnei wā?"

4. Tukua tō hoa kia ārahi i ētahi wā

Ki te mea ko koe te kaiwhakahaere o te whanaungatanga—ahakoa mā te tīmata i ngā mahere, te whakatau kaupapa, te tuku rānei i te aroha katoa—he pai te hoki whakamuri, me te tuku i tō hoa ki te whakahaere i ētahi wā. Ehara i te mea ko te whakaatu noa i te whakawhirinaki, engari ka āwhina hoki ki te waihanga i tētahi whanaungatanga ōrite ake, e whai wāhi ana ngā hoa e rua. 

E whakanui ana a Tākuta Manly, "He hononga hauora ka tupu pai ina whakaaro ngā hoa e rua he ōrite te whai wāhi me te mana whakahaere. Mā te tuku i tō hoa ki te ārahi ka whakatairanga i te hononga mahi tahi.”

5. Whakawāteahia he wāhi mō te takitahi me ngā hiahia whaiaro

He ngāwari te tino aro ki te whanaungatanga, engari mā te pupuri i ngā hiahia takitahi me te tuku i tō hoa kia pērā anō, ka ārai i te whanaungatanga kia kore e pau katoa. He mea nui kia poipoia, ehara i te mea ko tō whanaungatanga anake, engari ko tō tipu ake me tō mana motuhake hoki. Ka taea tēnei e koe mā te 

• Te whakatenatena i tō hoa rangatira ki te whai i āna ake mahi whakangahau me ōna wawata, me te mahi anō hoki i taua mea māu ake
• Kaua e whakarite tahi i ngā mahere, engari whakautehia ngā wā e hiahia ana tō hoa ki te wā whaiaro, ahakoa hei tiaki i a koe anō, hei noho tahi rānei me ō hoa.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te atawhai i te wāhi i roto i te whanaungatanga

6. Kia mōhio ki ō tumanakohanga, ā, whakatikatikahia aua tumanakohanga

He maha ngā wā ka puta he tumanakohanga koretake i te wā e pāngia ai tō hoa e te aroha, ā, ka pēhia pea ia kia rite tonu te kaha ki a ia. Mā te aro ki ēnei tumanakohanga me te whakarerekē i aua tumanakohanga, ka taea e koe te whakamama i te pēhanga ki tō hoa.

E kī ana a Tākuta Berman, "Ina whai koe tūmanako kiko "Nā te āhua o te whakaatu me te whiwhinga o te aroha, ka taea e ngā hoa tokorua te noho humarie i runga i tō rātou ake tere." Nō reira, 

• Arotakehia anō te tere e tumanakohia ana e koe kia ahu whakamua te whanaungatanga
• Tukua tō hoa kia whai wā, kia whakapuaki hoki i ōna kare ā-roto i runga i te āhua maori
• Kaua e tatari tonu ki te aroha, ki ngā tohu rānei, engari me hoatu he wā ki tō hoa kia whakapuaki i ēnei i roto i te āhua tūturu.
• Kia arotahi ki te pārekareka ki ngā wā poto tahi

7. Whakauru atu ki te whakaaroaro me te mōhio ki a koe anō

Ko te whakaaroaro me te mōhio ki a koe anō te mea nui hei whakatika i te pōrearea o te aroha kāore i te whakaarohia. E kī ana a Tākuta Horomona, "He mea nui te mōhio ki a koe anō. Mā te mārama ki ngā take e nui rawa ai te aroha, ka taea e koe te whakatau whakaaro nui ki te whakaatu i te aroha i roto i ngā huarahi hauora ake, taurite ake." 

Te mārama ki te take e uru ai koe ki te whakamomori aroha—ahakoa he mea hei whakakī i te āputa o te kare ā-roto, hei whakanui ake i tō ake whakaaro ki a koe anō, nā te mea rānei Tuhinga o mua—ka āwhina i a koe ki te hoki whakamuri me te whakatika i tō whanonga.

• Whakapaua he wā ki te whakaaroaro ki ō whanonga me te pānga pea ki tō hoa.
• Pātai atu ki a koe anō, “He nui rawa atu rānei taku hoatu wawe?” “Kei te ngana rānei ahau ki te whakahaere i te tere o te whanaungatanga nā te wehi?”
• Ki te kite koe kei te hoki anō koe ki ngā tikanga tawhito, me whakapā atu ki tō hoa, ā, me whakapāha mēnā e tika ana.
• Me whakamōhio atu kei te whakapau kaha koe ki te whakaute i ō rātou rohe

FAQs 

Thoughts Final 

Mā te whakararuraru aroha kore whakaaro ka raru pea te whanaungatanga mēnā ka pōuri, ka pēhia, ka ngenge rānei tetahi o ngā hoa. Mā te mōhio ki ēnei pānga ka pā mai, ka taea e koe te whakarerekē i ō whanonga kia pai ai te whakapuakitanga o tō aroha. Ko te mea nui ko te whakaute i te tere me ngā hiahia kare ā-roto o tetahi ki tetahi, me te pupuri tonu i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera, pono. Me māori te āhua o te aroha, kaua e akiakihia, ā, ina whakaaetia ngā hoa e rua kia tipu me te neke i tō rātou ake tere, ka kaha ake te whanaungatanga.

Te Whakahē i te Aroha me te Hiahia Pono: 8 Ngā Huarahi hei Wehewehe i a Rātou

Te Whakamahinga Aroha – 15 Ngā Mea e Whakaahua Ana Hei Aroha

Te Waranga Aroha: Te Tikanga, Ngā Tohu me Me Pēhea te Whakakore i te Aroha

Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

Tirohia ta maatau Tukanga Etita

Tutaki ki ta maatau Poari Arotake

Tiri Urupare

He aha ō urupare?

×

āwhina Pūrongohia he Hapa He mea anō (kōrerohia mai he aha te horopaki)

Tuku