11 Ngā Tohu Whero mō te Tūnga me Mōhio Koe

He mea whakahihiri, he mea pōhēhē hoki te kitenga i a koe anō i roto i tētahi āhuatanga. E maumahara ana ahau ki tētahi wāhanga o aku ake haerenga aroha. I tīmata noa iho, he hoahoa me tētahi mea nui atu, tae noa ki te tīmatanga o ngā haki whero o te āhuatanga kia horapa pērā i ngā kara whakatūpato i roto i te hau mārie o tō mātou hononga. I te tīmatanga, nā ngā rārangi pōuri i waenganui i te hoahoa me te aroha i tāpirihia he paku o te tūponotanga ki ā mātou taunekeneke. I harikoa mātou ki te mea ngaro, e rere ana i roto i te koretake i waenganui i te whakapau kaha me te whanaungatanga kore āwangawanga.

Heoi, i te hohonu haere o tō māua hononga kare ā-roto, kāore i taea e au te kore e kite i ngā panonitanga ngawari e tohu ana i tētahi mea kei raro i te mata. Ko ngā haki whero o te āhuatanga, ko aua tohu e ngaro ana engari he tohu, ka tīmata te puta mai me te mea he hāhā mārie, e whakamahara ana i ahau kāore pea te huarahi kei mua i te maeneene pērā i tō māua haerenga tuatahi. Kāore au i mōhio, ka noho ēnei tohu whakatūpato ngawari hei kāpehu hei ārahi i ahau i roto i ngā wai kāore anō kia matara o tō māua aroha kāore i tautuhia.

He aha te Tūnga-ā-Wāhi?

Ko te tikanga o te tūnga kei roto i te āputa korekore i waenganui i te whanaungatanga pumau me te te teití noaHe rohe hina whanaungatanga tēnei e uru ai te tangata ki tētahi hononga kāore i te whai i ngā tawhā kua tautuhia mō tētahi whanaungatanga nui. Ka huna e ngā āhuatanga te rārangi i waenga i te whakahoahoa me te whanaungatanga moepuku, ka noho pōturi ki te taha o te wāhi hononga noa, me te pupuri tonu i ngā āhuatanga o te whakahoahoa.

He rerekē tēnei i tētahi hononga pumau me ngā tumanakohanga mārama me ngā herenga ōrite, kāore i roto i ngā hononga ā-rohe ngā rohe mārama o tētahi hononga aroha, ā, he maha ngā wā ka waiho ngā taha e whai wāhi ana ki roto i te āhua koretake. Ka taea e ngā kaiuru te pārekareka ki ngā painga o te whanaungatanga ā-tinana me te kore he pēhanga o te haumi kare ā-roto, me te pupuri i te herekoretanga o te whakaipoipo noa tae noa ki te wā ka tūtaki ki ngā uauatanga e puta ake ana ina pōuri haere ngā rohe i waenga i ngā hoa me ngā hoa aroha.

He aha ahau i pai ai ki ngā āhuatanga i mua

He aha i pai ai ngā tāne ki ngā āhuatanga? — Kua pātaihia mai tēnei pātai ki ahau i ētahi wā. I a au e tamariki ana, ko te āhua o te āhuatanga ki ahau i ahu mai i te ranunga o ngā āhuatanga i tino ātaahua ai:

• Nā te whanaungatanga ā-ira i tuku mai he hononga, engari kāore he herenga taumaha, ā, ka taea te noho tata tinana me te kore he tumanakohanga nui.
• I whakaurua hoki te ātaahua ki roto i te whakaaro ahakoa te kaha katoa i whakapaua, ko te te korenga o ngā kare ā-roto he mea e noho pū ana i roto i tētahi āhuatanga kua whakawhiwhia ki tētahi taumata herekoretanga
• I riro hei ārai i te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō, hei huarahi ki te whakatere i ngā āhuatanga uaua o te whakaipoipo hou me te kore e tūpono ki te ngoikore e haere tahi ana me te hononga kare ā-roto hohonu ake.

Heoi, ko te ngoikoretanga o tēnei momo whanonga pōrearea me ngā wā o te noho mokemoke i puta ai te hiahia kia wehea ngā kare ā-roto mai i tētahi atu tangata, ka hanga he kanikani taupatupatu i waenganui i te whanaungatanga piripono me te mana motuhake.

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Ngā Tohu kei roto koe i tētahi Āhuatanga

Ko te whakatau mēnā kei roto koe i tētahi hononga whanaungatanga, ko te mōhio ki ngā tohu matua e wehewehe ana i taua hononga mai i tētahi hononga whanaungatanga kua tautuhia ake. He rerekē ki tētahi hononga whanaungatanga nui, he maha ngā wā ka noho tonu ngā hononga whanaungatanga i roto i te whanaungatanga. ngā wāhanga tuatahi o te whanaungatangaKi te kitea koe kei roto i te rōpū whakamutunga, anei ngā tohu kei roto koe i tētahi āhuatanga:

• Tūnga whanaungatanga kāore i te mārama
• Te kore motuhake, te kore whakapau kaha rānei
• Ngā kare ā-roto koretake ki tō hoa
• Te kore e pai ki te kōrero mō te heke mai
• Te whakaroa, te karo rānei i te tautuhi i te whanaungatanga
• Kei ngā wāhanga tōmua tonu o te hononga, ā, kāore e neke whakamua
• Kei te kīia e koe he whanaungatanga kore-tapanga
• He whakaaro kei roto koe i te whare herehere o te whanaungatanga

Ko ēnei tohu katoa ka whakanui ake i te manukanuka o te āhua — He mea noa tēnei raruraru kare ā-roto ina kore e tautuhia ō tātou hononga, ina kore e mārama, ā, kāore he rohe mārama. Ko te karo, te whakaroa rānei ki te tautuhi i te hononga ka waiho ngā tāngata takitahi ki roto i te āhua koretake o te kare ā-roto. E pai ana koe ki te whanaungatanga piripono engari kāore he whanaungatanga motuhake.

A ako e whai ana ki te "whakawhanake me te whakamana i tētahi Tauine Āhuatanga", e kī ana, "Ko te kore o te māramatanga me te whakapau kaha i roto i ēnei whanaungatanga ka puta he mamae kare ā-roto, hinengaro, me te moepuku, ka pā ki te oranga whānui o te tangata. Ka taea te whakamahi i ngā kitenga o tēnei rangahau hei whakawhanake i ngā wawaotanga me ngā pūnaha tautoko mō ngā taiohi kei roto, kua noho rānei i roto i tētahi āhuatanga."

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11 Ngā Tohu Whero o te Tūnga

Ko te whakatere i tētahi whanaungatanga kei ngā wāhanga tīmatanga tonu — arā, ko te mea e kiia nei ko te whanaungatanga tūāhua — he rite ki te wero i tētahi ngira angiangi. Nō reira, he mea nui te aro ki ngā tohu whero o te whanaungatanga tūāhua hei pupuri i tō oranga ngākau. Mena ka karo tonu tō hoa i ngā kōrero mō ngā kare ā-roto, mō te whakapau kaha rānei (arā, Kei te whakaipoipo koe i tētahi tangata e mataku ana ki te herenga), e whakaatu ana i te whanonga karo i roto i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo, e karo ana rānei i te whakauru i a koe ki tā rātou porowhita pāpori, he tohu pea tēnei kei te hiahia koe kia huna te whanaungatanga. 

He maha ngā wā ka puta ngā tohu kino o te āhua o te whanaungatanga i roto i ngā huarahi ngaro, ā, he mea nui kia mōhio ki ēnei tohu whakatūpato kia kore ai e taka ki te wāhi whakawātea o te whanaungatanga. Anei ngā tohu kino 11 hei tūpato māu:

1. Kāore e tautuhia te tūnga whanaungatanga mō ake tonu atu

Ko tētahi tauira kaha o tētahi tohu whero i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ko te koretake o te tūnga o te hononga. He mea nui te karo a tētahi hoa ina tae mai ki te tautuhi mārama i te āhua o te whanaungatanga. Ahakoa he pai ake ki ētahi tāngata te noho tahi noa me te kore he tapanga, ko te kore māramatanga roa ka waiho hei tohu whero nui.

I ngā wā kāore anō kia tautuhia te tūnga o te whanaungatanga, tera pea ka pā mai ngā whanonga kino, koretake, me te kore taurite o ngā taumata whakapau kaha. He mea nui kia arotake pono ngā hoa i ō rātou kare ā-roto, kia whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, kia whakawhitiwhiti kōrero rānei. whakahaere i o raatau tumanako, me te whakarite kia ōrite te whakaaro o ngā tāngata e rua ki te āhua o te whanaungatanga. He mea nui te turanga o te pono me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera i roto i ngā whanaungatanga katoa, ahakoa he whakaipoipo noa, he whanaungatanga nui rānei.

2. Kāore tetahi, tetahi rānei o ngā hoa e kōrero mō te heke mai

Ko ngā kōrero whakakatakata, inā koa mō ngā āhuatanga nui o te whanaungatanga, he tohu mārama tēnei mō ngā raruraru pea i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ngāna kia mātakitaki i ēnei e whai ake nei:

• Kāore tetahi o ngā hoa e hiahia ki te kōrero mō te heke mai, te whakapau kaha, te whanaketanga rānei o ngā kare ā-roto
• Kei a koe ngā āwangawanga mō te korenga o ngā kare ā-roto, ko te tikanga kei te kore koe e pai ki te haumi i roto i ngā kare ā-roto
• Ahakoa kāore pea te whakaipoipo noa e hiahia ana ki te kōrero tonu mō te whakapau kaha, ngā kare ā-roto, te heke mai rānei, tirohia mēnā he 'tonu' te karo i ēnei kaupapa.
• Tērā pea he hiahia huna (nōu, nō tō hoa rānei) kia noho pōhēhē tonu te whanaungatanga.

Mō te hauora me te roa o te whanaungatanga, ahakoa he whakaipoipo noa, he whanaungatanga ā-wā rānei, he mea nui te whakatipu i tētahi taiao e pai ai ngā hoa ki te kōrero mō ō rātou kare ā-roto, wawata, me ngā tumanakohanga. Ka taea e ngā kōrero karo te waiho hei tohu ārai, e hiahia ana kia korero tuwhera hei aro atu ki ngā āwangawanga matua.

3. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu whero tino kitea o tētahi āhuatanga: Te huna i te whakamahinga o ngā taupānga whakaipoipo

He tohu pea tēnei whanonga i runga i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo hei tohu i ngā whakaaro huna, i te hiahia rānei ki te pupuri i te huna. Ahakoa ehara i te mea onge te pupuri a te tangata i te mana motuhake i roto i ō rātou oranga whakaipoipo - ina koa ka tae ki te whakaipoipo noa - ko te whanonga pūmau me te huna i runga i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo, ina kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga whakapae, me ara ake ngā tukemata.

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Ko te whakamahi i ngā taupānga whakaipoipo he tohu pea kei te ārai te hoa i ā rātou peti, kei te pupuri tonu i ngā kōwhiringa kē atu, kei te kore rānei e pai ki te whakapau kaha. Kei tua atu i ngā rohe o te whakaipoipo noa te koretake, ā, ka pā pea te mamae o te ngākau ki te tangata e whai wāhi ana. Ko te kore mārama o ngā taunekeneke matihiko a te tangata ka arahi pea ki ngā take whakawhirinaki, ka waihanga i te taiao whakapae me te kore haumaru i roto i te āhuatanga.

4. Ka kite koe i te koretake ki te whakahoahoa i waho o te āhuatanga

I roto i tētahi hononga hauora, he maha ngā wā ka whakahīhī ngā hoa ki te whakauru i a rātou anō ki ō rātou porowhita pāpori, ki ngā hoa, me te whānau hei whanaketanga tūturu o te hohonutanga o te whakapau kaha. Heoi, ki te haere tonu te karo, te whakaroa rānei o te hoa ki te whakauru i tō rātou hoa noho ki ngā tāngata nui o tō rātou ao, ka ara ake ngā pātai mō te hohonutanga me te hiranga o te whanaungatanga.

Tērā pea he maha ngā take e puta mai ai tēnei, mai i te hiahia kia noho puku te whanaungatanga ki te kore e pai ki te whakauru atu ki roto i te pūnaha tautoko whānui. Ahakoa kāore pea i te wā katoa e tika ana kia tere te whakauru atu ki te whanaungatanga, mā te karo tonu ka taea e te hoa rangatira te kī he... wehe i te kare ā-rotoHe tohu tēnei i te whakaroa ki te whakauru i te āhuatanga ki roto i te hanganga o te oranga o te tangata, ka waiho pea te hoa rangatira ki te whakaaro kua peia, kāore rānei i te tino mārama ki te āhua tuturu o te hononga.

5. Ko tētahi atu tauira o te haki whero i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei: ​​He tūpono noa te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ā, kāore e taea te matapae.

He tohu nui te koretake o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i tētahi āhuatanga, ka taea te whakapiki i te whanaungatanga kino i waenga i ngā hoa. He maha ngā wā ka tupu ngā whanonga kino i roto i ngā taiao kāore e tuwhera ana te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ā, ko te koretake o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tētahi o ngā tohu nui e whai wāhi ana ki taua momo paitini. Anei ngā mea ka tupu:

• Ko te āhua pōturi me te kore e taea te matapae o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ka waihanga i te āhuarangi o te koretake
• Ka ara ake tēnei i ngā kare ā-roto o te manukanuka me te pōhēhē mō ngā tāngata e rua e whai wāhi ana
• Ina kore e taea, ina kore rānei e pai tetahi hoa ki te pupuri i tētahi ara whakawhitiwhiti kōrero auau, mārama hoki, ka taea e ia te whakararuraru i te taurite ngawari e hiahiatia ana mō tētahi... hononga hauora
• Ka taea e ngā rerekētanga te whakatupu i ngā māramatanga hē, te whakaoho i te koretake o te whakaaro, me te whai wāhi atu ki te āhua kore pumau o te hononga.

I roto i tētahi āhuatanga, ina kore e tino mārama ngā rohe pērā i ngā whanaungatanga pono tuku iho, ka nui ake te hiranga o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero auau. Ko te mōhio ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero taupatupatu tētahi o ngā tohu nui rawa atu, me whakapau kaha ki te kōrero tuwhera. 

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Hei aro atu ki te take me mahi e koe ēnei mahi:

• Matapakihia nga tumanakohanga
• Whakatakotoria he rohe
• Whakatairangahia he taiao e pai ai ngā hoa tokorua ki te whakapuaki i ō rātou hiahia me ō rātou āwangawanga

6. Kāore tō hoa e pai ki te whakarite mahere

Ko te tikanga o te tūāhuatanga he maha ngā wā ka uru atu ki tētahi taumata ngāwari, engari ina noho noa ngā mahere koretake hei tikanga, ka tohu pea i te kore whakapau kaha, i te kore whai whakaaro rānei. Koinei te āhua o te noho o ngā mahere koretake hei tauira mārama o te haki whero i roto i tētahi momo whanaungatanga pēnei:

• Ka taea e ia te whakanui ake i te manukanuka o te āhuatanga: Ko te koretake o te whakaaro mō te wā me te āhua o te whakamahere a ngā hoa ki te noho tahi ka whai wāhi atu ki ngā kare ā-roto o te koretake me te kore haumaru. He tohu whero mārama tēnei e tika ana kia arohia.
• Ka meinga koe kia ruarua i ō rātou kare ā-roto: Mā ngā mahere koretake ka kore e tino mārama tetahi hoa mō te taumata o te hiahia me te haumi kare ā-roto o tetahi atu ki te hononga.

I ngā āhuatanga, ina kore pea e tino tautuhia ngā rohe, he mea nui kia whakatūria, ā, whakautehia ngā rohe mō ngā mahere hei pupuri i tētahi āhua hauora. Hei whakatika i tēnei haki whero, me kōrero pono mō:

• Te tumanako
• Manakohanga
• Te auau e hiahiatia ana mō te noho tahi

Mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera ka waihanga i tētahi turanga pakari ake mō te whanaungatanga, kia mōhio ai te tokorua ki tā rāua e pā ana ki ā rāua herenga me te huarahi e whakaarohia ana e rāua mō te āhuatanga.

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7. Te āhua nei ko koe te tangata e whakapau kaha ana i roto i tō āhuatanga 

Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe, "He aha te take e pai ai ngā tāne ki ngā āhuatanga?", ko te mea e pai ai ko te ngāwari ki te pārekareka ki ētahi āhuatanga o te whanaungatanga me te kore e whai i te whakapau kaha me ngā tumanakohanga e haere tahi ana me ngā whakaritenga tuku iho. Heoi, ki te mea ko te hoa kotahi tonu te kawenga mō te whakamahere me te whakarite i ngā rā, ka pā mai ēnei pānga:

• Ka taea e ia te whai wāhi atu ki ngā kare ā-roto o te mokemoke i roto i te whanaungatanga
• Ka taea e ia te whakaoho i te whanonga ngoikore i roto i te hoa ngoikore
• Ka pā anō hoki te hihiri o te mahi taha-kotahi ki te whakaaro nui ki a ia anō
• Tērā pea ka ara ake ngā pātai mō te taumata o te hiahia me te haumi kare ā-roto mai i ngā taha e rua nā te kore taurite.

Ko te aro atu ki te take o te mahi taha-kotahi i roto i tētahi āhuatanga me whai kōrero tuwhera mō ō hiahia. Nō reira, whakatūria he tumanakohanga mārama, kia mārama hoki ki ngā hiahia o tētahi ki tētahi mō ngā wheako tiritahi. Mahi tahi ki tāu mahere e whai ake nei, me te whakapau kaha kia taurite. Mā tēnei, ka taea e ngā tāngata takitahi i roto i tētahi āhuatanga te mahi ki tētahi whanaketanga hauora e tutuki ai ngā hiahia o ngā hoa e rua, me te whakaiti i te tūponotanga o ngā taupatupatu, ngā tohu kino rānei.

8. Ka whakararuraru koe i te korenga o te kare ā-roto o tō hoa

Ko te korenga o te ngākau e tohu ana he uaua pea tētahi hoa ki te whakapau kaha ki te whanaungatanga i runga i te taumata kare ā-roto. Ka puta he kore taurite i roto i te whakapau kaha kare ā-roto i waenga i ngā hoa. Ina he koretake ki te whakauru katoa ki ngā āhuatanga kare ā-roto o te hononga, ka waiho te hoa kē atu i roto i te āhua o te koretake me te manukanuka mō te pono me te hohonutanga o te hononga. 

Ka puta te korenga o te ngākau i roto i ngā āhua maha, pērā i:

• Te iti o te tiritiri kare ā-roto: Ka karo tetahi hoa i te kōrero mō ngā kare ā-roto, ngā wheako, ngā ngoikoretanga rānei, ka hanga tawhiti aronganui i roto i te hononga
• Te kore e pai ki te kōrero mō te heke mai: Ka pāngia te tokorua e ngā uauatanga ina kōrero rāua mō ngā mahere ā meake nei, ngā wawata, ngā herenga mō te wā roa rānei.
• Te uauatanga o te tauutuutu: Tērā pea ka whakapuaki noa tetahi o ngā hoa i tōna aroha, ā, ka mutu te kōrero a tetahi, ka tuku whakautu papaku noa iho, ka huri rānei i te kaupapa.

9. Te āhua nei kei te rerekē haere ngā taumata hiahia o tō hoa

Ka taea e te piki me te heke o te hiahia te whakaoho i ngā āwangawanga mō te pumau me te pumau o te hononga. Ahakoa ehara i te mea kino mō ngā hoa te wheako i ngā panonitanga o te hiahia, o te arotahi rānei, he tohu whero nui te tauira o ngā piki me ngā heke o te taumata o te whai wāhi i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Ka taea e ia te whakaoho i ngā āwangawanga me te whakaara ake i ngā pātai mō te pono o te hononga.

Ka taea te kite i ēnei tohu whakauru mā roto i:

• Ko te whakawhitiwhiti korero koretake: Ka whakautu wawe tetahi hoa, ka roa rānei te wā ki te whakautu karere, ki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero rānei, ko tēnei te kore korero ka hua ake he wā whakangā, he koretake hoki te pupuri i tētahi kōrero tuwhera, auau hoki i roto i te whanaungatanga
• Ngā taumata rerekē o te hihiri: Hei tauira, ka rerekē pea te hihiri o tētahi hoa i a ia e kōrero ana mō te heke mai o te whanaungatanga.
• Te koretake o te whakapau kaha ki ngā mahi tahi: He maha ngā wā ka haere atu tetahi hoa i ngā wā whakatā, ka whakakore rānei i ngā mahere hararei i te meneti whakamutunga — he tohu kino tonu tēnei i roto i te whanaungatanga.

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Tīmatahia he kōrero mō ngā take o ngā panonitanga o te hiahia; mā tēnei ka mārama ai mēnā he āhuatanga o waho, he āhuatanga whaiaro, he rerekē rānei ngā tumanakohanga kei te awe i te whanaungatanga.

10. Kei te wareware koe ki tō ake manukanuka mō te āhua o tōu ake āhuatanga

Ka taea e tēnei mahi whakararuraru i a koe anō te arahi ki tētahi āhuatanga kino i roto i tō whanaungatanga. Ina puta ngā kare ā-roto o te manukanuka, o te kore rānei e pai, mā te whakakorekore, te kore rānei e aro ki aua kare ā-roto ka kino ake te taumahatanga. I roto i tētahi hononga pono, he mea nui kia aro atu ki ngā āwangawanga me ngā manukanuka i runga i te tuwhera. Ko te manukanuka ā-āhuatanga, pērā i manukanuka whanaungatanga hou, ka puta pinepine mai ina kore e mārama ngā tumanakohanga, ā, mā te kore e aro atu ki ēnei kare ā-roto ka ara ake he āhua taumahatanga.

I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora, motuhake hoki, ka akiakihia ngā hoa ki te kōrero tuwhera mō ō rātou kare ā-roto me ō rātou tumanakohanga, ka whakatū i tētahi turanga o te whakawhirinaki me te māramatanga. Mā te kore aro ki te manukanuka ki ngā āhuatanga ka whakararu i tēnei āhuatanga nui o te hononga, ka puta pea he wehewehe i waenga i ngā hoa. Ka piki haere ngā whanonga paitini pēnei i te pukuriri kore, te karo, te wehe atu rānei i ngā kare ā-roto ina warewarehia e tētahi, e rua rānei ngā tāngata te hiahia mō te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mārama.

11. Ko tētahi o ngā tohu tino kino o te āhuatanga: He iti noa ngā taipitopito whaiaro e tohaina ana e tō hoa ki a koe

Ahakoa he maha ngā wā ka noho ngā whanaungatanga tūpono ki roto i ngā whanaungatanga noa, me whai wāhi te whanaungatanga pono ki tētahi taumata o te whanaungatanga whaiaro hei whakatairanga i te whanaungatanga piripono. I roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora, ka pai te noho a ngā hoa tokorua ki te whakapuaki i ō rātou oranga, me te tuku i te hoa ki te kite i ō rātou whakaaro, kare ā-roto, uara, take, wawata, me ngā wheako. 

Ko te kore o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whaiaro i roto i tētahi āhuatanga ka arahi pea ki:

• He hononga taumata-mata
• Kāore e tino mōhiotia ana ngā tāngata e rua i tua atu i te horopaki o te whanaungatanga
• An te kore e taea te whakanui ake i te aroha te aroha rānei tetahi ki tetahi

Tērā pea i ahu mai tēnei iti o te tiritiri i te hiahia kia māmā, kia kore he āwangawanga, engari he tohu anō hoki tēnei i te kore o te hiahia ki te whakangao ā-hinengaro ki te hononga.

Kia pēhea te roa e noho ai koe i roto i tētahi āhuatanga?

He mea takitahi te roa o te noho o te tangata i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, he nui te whakawhirinaki ki ngā hiahia o te tangata, ki ngā matea, me ngā whanaketanga o te whanaungatanga. Ko ngā whanaungatanga, i runga i tō rātou āhua, kāore i te mārama ngā rohe me ngā herenga e tautuhi ana i ngā hononga tuku iho. Nō reira, ko te whakatau kia noho, kia neke rānei ki tētahi whanaungatanga ake hononga mārama kei runga i ngā āhuatanga maha. Anei ētahi whakaaro hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau:

• Te mārama o ngā whāinga: Aromatawaihia mēnā kei te kotahi te whakaaro o ngā hoa e rua mō te āhua o te whanaungatanga. Mēnā he māramatanga ōrite, he hiahia hoki ki te tūhura i tētahi hononga hohonu ake, he pai ake pea te hoatu i tētahi wā roa atu ki te āhuatanga.
• Whakawhitiwhitiwhiti: Ki te mea kei te haere tonu te kōrero mō ngā tumanakohanga, ngā kare ā-roto, me te heke mai, ka taea e tēnei te whai wāhi atu ki tētahi āhuatanga hauora ake, whai hua ake hoki.
• Te pai whaiaro: Arotakehia tō ake ngākau māhaki me tō oranga ngākau i roto i te āhuatanga. Ki te kitea e koe he mea whakararuraru tēnei, kua tae pea te wā ki te whakaaroaro anō i te whanaungatanga.
• Te hiahia mō te whakapau kaha: Mena kei te rapu koe i tētahi kaimahi whai mana, ā, whanaungatanga motuhake, he mea pai pea kia kōrerohia ēnei tumanakohanga me tō hoa, kia arotakehia anō rānei te pumau o te whanaungatanga
• Tupu tahi: Whakaarohia mēnā kei te whai wāhi te āhuatanga ki te tipu whaiaro me te tipu tahi. Mēnā he āhua tūroa, he kore rānei e taea te whanaketanga, he tohu pea tēnei kia arotakehia anō te whanaungatanga.

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha te tikanga o te motuhake ki te tāne?

Kia maumahara he motuhake ia tangata, ia whanaungatanga, ā, kāore he whakautu kotahi e tika ana mō te katoa. He mea nui kia aro ki ō kare ā-roto, kia kōrero mārama ki tō hoa, kia whakatau hoki i ngā whakatau e hangai ana ki ō ake uara me ō hiahia. Mena kāore he āhuatanga e tutuki ana i ō hiahia, e hangai ana rānei ki ō whāinga, he pai ake pea te tūhura i ētahi atu huarahi whanaungatanga, te whakamārama rānei i ngā tumanakohanga ki tō hoa.

I a tātou e whakatere ana i te taurite ngawari i waenga i te whakahoahoa me te aroha, ka kitea te hiranga o te mōhio me te aro atu ki ngā tohu ārai i roto i ēnei whanaungatanga kāore i tautuhia. Ahakoa he whakaroa ki te tautuhi i te whanaungatanga, he karo i ngā kōrero kare ā-roto, he rerekētanga rānei i roto i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ko ia tohu ārai he pou ārahi, e akiaki ana i a tātou ki te whakaaroaro ki te āhua tūturu o ā tātou hononga. 

He whakatau whaiaro te mōhio ki te roa o te noho i roto i tētahi āhuatanga, e whakawhirinaki ana ki ngā āhuatanga me ngā wawata ahurei o ia tangata e whai wāhi ana. Heoi, i waenganui i ngā āwangawanga, ko te hiranga o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera, te makona whaiaro, me te whakapau kaha ki te tipu tahi ka puta hei aho kotahi. Kia mau tonu te rere o te kōrero mārama ki ō hoa, me te whakatau i ngā mea e ahu mai ana i ō uara, ō hiahia, me te whai hononga pono.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.