22 Ngā Tohu Pono o tētahi Hoa Wahine Tinihanga

Me pēhea te kite i ngā tohu o tētahi hoa wahine tinihanga? I tētahi taha, kei a koe te whakaaro kei te hē tetahi mea. Engari he reo anō kei roto i tō mahunga e kī ana kei te nui rawa ō whakaaro, kei te mataku hoki koe. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka rite pea koe ki a Sherlock Holmes, e ngana ana ki te tirotiro me te tātari i ngā nekehanga katoa a tō hoa. Engari, kia tūpato! Ehara koe i a Cumberbatch. Kāore ōu koti roa, kāore hoki koe e takaro i te vaiorine. Kāore āu Watson, nō reira me tino hiahia koe ki ētahi tohutohu a te tohunga hei āwhina i a koe ki te mōhio mēnā he hoa wahine tinihanga tāu, kāore rānei. 

Mena kei te whakaaroaro koe ki ngā pātai pēnei i te "He aha ahau i whakaaro ai kei te tinihanga ia i ahau?", tera pea he mea kāore i te tika i roto i te whanaungatanga. Kei konei mātou hei āwhina, me ngā whakaaro mai i te kaiako whakawhitiwhiti kōrero me te whanaungatanga a Swaty Prakash , he tekau tau te roa o tana wheako ki te whakangungu i ngā tāngata o ngā reanga rerekē ki te whakahaere i ō rātou hauora kare ā-roto.

22 Ngā Tohu Pono o tētahi Hoa Wahine Tinihanga

Ehara i te mea onge te tinihanga i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Ina hoki, e whakaatu ana tētahi rangahau e 20% o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i te United States ka tūpono ki te tinihanga. I taua wā, 70% o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kāore i te marena ka raru pea i te tinihanga i roto i tā rātou whanaungatanga. Engari me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kei te tinihanga tō hoa wahine? Heoi anō, kāore e ranea te 'whakaaro puku' hei tū atu ki a ia. Kei konei mātou hei āwhina i a koe. Anei ētahi tohu kua tinihanga ia, ā, e whakama ana:

1. Ka kaha tana mahi kia ātaahua tōna āhua

E ai ki a Swaty , "He mea tino nui te āhua o tō tātou āhua ki a tātou te tangata. Ā, ki te mea kei roto tātou i tētahi whanaungatanga aroha, ka waiho hei tetahi o ngā āhuatanga matua hei āwangawanga mā tātou. Kua kite koe i te whānui o ō tātou kamo, i te tīmatanga rānei o tā tātou tākaro ki ō tātou makawe ina tata tātou ki tētahi e pai ana ki a tātou? Ahakoa tō tātou hinengaro huna e mahi ana ki te hanga i a tātou kia ātaahua ake, kia kakara ake hoki."

"Ehara i te mea koinei anake te tohu o tētahi kōtiro tinihanga, engari, ki te tirohia me ētahi atu tohu, he tohu tinihanga. Waihoki, ki te mea kei te whakapau kaha ia ki tōna āhua engari kāore e aro ki ō urupare, he tohu mārama kei te mahi ia mā tētahi atu tangata, mā tētahi atu mea rānei," tana kī.

Tērā pea ka kite koe kua tīmata ia ki te whakapau kaha ki te ātaahua i a ia pērā i tana i te tīmatanga o te haerenga ki waho, engari kāore tetahi o aua mea i whai hua mōu, pēnei i:

• Kua whakakapia ohoreretia ngā kākahu piri noa e hiroki taatai
• Kei te haere ia ki te whare takaro, kei te mahi yoga, kei te kai hauora hoki
• He hinu kakara rerekē tāna e mau ana, he paku whakapaipai rawa, he kākahu ataahua rānei

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2. He mea whakapataritari ia i ngā mea katoa e pā ana ki a koe

E kī ana a Swaty, "He huarahi rerekē tā te taiao ki te whakaoho i ngā kare ā-roto o te aroha me te aroha i roto i te tangata. Ina tīmata koe ki te pai ki tētahi, ka tukuna e tō roro ngā homoni e matapo ai koe i te aroha. Ka whakakahore koe ki te kite i tētahi mea hē/whakarihariha i roto i tētahi atu tangata. Engari he mea āhua kore tēnei/kāore pea e haere tonu i te wā roa. I te haere whakamua, ka memeha haere tēnei pānga, ā, ka puta ake ōu hiahia/kore e pai ki a koe."

"Ka pāngia ngā whanaungatanga katoa e tētahi wā ka tīmata ngā hoa ki te kimi hapa tetahi i tetahi. Heoi, he tukanga āta haere tēnei. Engari ki te mea he tāne hou, ka tere haere te tukanga. Kāore koe e manawanui ana ki te whanaungatanga . Ka piki haere te riri. Ko te mea i ātaahua i mua kua huri hei mea tino whakarihariha ināianei. I a koe e tīmata ana ki te pai ki ngā mea katoa mō taua hoa hou, ka āhua hē te nui rawa o te mea ki tō hoa."

3. Te reo tinana e karo ana

He aha ngā tohu e whakaatu ana i te hunga tinihanga? I tana whakautu i tēnei pātai, i kōrero a Pooja Priyamvada , te kaiako whanaungatanga , ki a Bonobology, "Ko te karo i te reo tinana he tohu tino pono kei te tinihanga ia. Ka karo te hoa teka i te titiro kanohi, te takaro i te tākaro, te rapu huarahi, me te ngana ki te rapu whakamārama." Ka mā ngā ngutu o te tangata, ka mā/whero ō rātou mata ina teka rātou. Ahakoa ō rātou ngāwari katoa, he rerekē te kōrero a ō rātou reo tinana.

Me pēhea te mōhio kei te tinihanga tō hoa wahine i a koe? Whakamātauria tēnei pātai tere:

• Kei te kite koe i te whakaroa i roto i tana kōrero? Āe/Kāo
• Ka tere te kimo o ōna kamo, ka werawera rānei ia i a ia e ngana ana ki te tito i tētahi kōrero pono hei huna i ana mahi? Āe/Kāo
• He maha ngā wā ka kitea e koe ia e karo ana i te titiro kanohi i a ia e kōrero ana ki a koe? Āe/Kāo
• E kite ana koe i a ia e noho pōrearea ana, e kore rānei e marino ina kōrero ia ki a koe? Āe/Kāo 

Mena kua whakautua e koe ngā pātai o runga ake nei, tera pea he hoa wahine tinihanga tāu. Mā te aro nui ki tana reo tinana (pēnei i te pakaru ohorere o tōna reo, te teitei rānei o te reo) ka mōhio koe kei te tinihanga tō hoa wahine.

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4. Ka harihari i ana taputapu pērā i te peka

E kī ana a Sam, he kaimahi peeke kei roto i ōna tau 30, "Ki taku whakaaro kei te tinihanga taku hoa wahine engari kāore e taea e au te whakaatu. I mua, kāore he mea ngaro i waenganui i a māua. I whakamahia e ia tana rorohiko ki ahau, i tono rānei kia tirohia e au ngā karere kuputuhi māna. Engari ināianei, ka kati ia i tana pona i ia wā ka tomo ahau ki te rūma, kāore e tuku karere kuputuhi i mua i ahau, ka puta atu i te rūma ki te whakautu i tana waea, ā, kua rakahia e ia tana waea pūkoro me te kupuhipa hou."

Heoi anō, ehara i te mea kāore he take o ngā mataku o Sam. Ko ngā tohu e whai ake nei he wahine tinihanga :

• Kua tīmata ohorere ia ki te tiaki i ā rāua pūrere mā te kupuhipa.
• Kei te takoto tonu tana waea ki raro
• Kāore ia e whakautu i ngā waea ina tata koe
• Ka tūpato ia, ā, ka riri, ka mea atu, "He aha koe i maia ai ki te tirotiro i taku īmēra?" 
• Ka huna e ia ana tuhinga mai i a koe
• Ka haria haeretia e ia āna taputapu, pērā i te peka, kei tūpono koe ki tētahi mea kāore rātou e hiahia kia mahia e koe
• Ko te tūmataitinga me te wāhi noho ngā kupu hou mō tō whanaungatanga

Mena kei te whakaatu tō hoa i te nuinga o ēnei āhuatanga, tera pea kua mau koe i roto i te matotoru o ngā kōrero teka a ngā kaipahua . Ehara i te mea ko ā rātou taputapu anake te mea e tiakina ana e ngā kaipahua, engari ko ētahi wāhi anō hoki. Hei tauira, "Kaua koe e haere noa mai ki taku wāhi mahi" me "E hika, koinei taku ana wahine. Kaua e pā ki tetahi mea i konei, ā, whakautehia taku tūmataitinga."

5. Kei te nui rawa tana utu nā tōna hara

I tuhituhi tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit , "I tinihanga ia me tana hoa o mua mō ngā marama tae noa ki tana kīnga. I mau ia, ā, kāore i mutu tana mahi. Ināianei ka pupuhi aroha ia, ka noho tahi me ahau i ia hēkona, ka tuku karere ki ngā wāhi katoa. Kua kotahi marama. Ka huri rānei ia, ka hoki noa rānei?" Ko te pupuhi aroha tētahi o ngā āhuatanga kāore i te tino mōhiotia o te wahine tinihanga.

Tērā pea ka whakamahia e ia hei huarahi whakahaere i ngā kino i muri i te hopukanga, hei whakamarie rānei i tōna hara. Kāore ia e mōhio ki hea e waiho ai taua hara katoa, nō reira ka whakapau moni ia, ka ngana rānei kia tino pai ki te whakakapi i taua hara. Mena ka hokona ohoreretia e ia he koha māu "nā te mea noa" ka whakaae rānei ia ki ngā mea katoa e kōrerotia ana e koe, he tohu pea ēnei kua tinihanga ia, ā, kei te whakama ia.

6. Kua rerekē tōna āhua

E kī ana a Swaty, "He rerekē ngā huringa o te āhua (i runga i te momo o te hunga tinihanga ) engari ka rongo ngā hoa i te hau o te huringa i roto i a rātou. Tērā pea ka āhua harikoa ake rātou, ka makona ake, me te kore e whakawhirinaki ki tētahi atu tangata. Ka tino hiahia rātou ki te haere ko rātou anake, tae noa ki te tari ki te mawhiti atu i tā rātou hoa."

"Tērā pea ka noho tawhiti, ka huna hoki te tangata kōrero nui, kāore e hiahia ki te kōrero mō ōna oranga i waho o te kāinga, ā, ka noho pukumahi tonu i runga i ā rātou waea. Ka tīmata rātou ki te tiaki i a rātou anō, ka iti ake te aro ki ā rātou hoa tāne, ā, ka ngana ki te karo i ngā kaupapa e nui rawa ana te whakamahere mō āpōpō, e whakamahara ana rānei ki ngā rā o mua."

7. He porowhita hoa hou tōna

E mea ana a Andrew, 22 tau te pakeke, "Kua kite ahau kāore a Sarah e mutu te kōrero mō tētahi wahine ko Catie te ingoa, i tūtaki ia ki te whare takaro. Ko ana haerenga katoa ki te kiriata, ki ngā pō, me ngā hokohoko kei roto ko tana hoa pai hou. I noho ia mō ētahi pō ki a Catie. Engari he mea miharo, kāore au i tūtaki ki a ia, kāore hoki au i kite i tētahi pikitia o rāua. He haki whero mō te whanaungatanga ? Ki taku whakaaro!" Waihoki, ki te puta whakarere mai he oranga pāpori pukumahi mō tāu kotiro, kāore koe i te whai wāhi atu, he tohu tēnei kei te tinihanga tāu kotiro i a koe.

8. He tawhiti i ngā wā piripono

E kī ana a Swaty, "He huarahi anō tō te hara ki te puta ake i ngā wā tino ohorere. Mō te tini o te tangata, ko te tikanga pea he utu mō ā rātou hē mā te kaha ake i roto i ā rātou whanaungatanga tinana. I ētahi wā, hei utu mō te "hē" i ā rātou hoa, ka ngana rātou ki te whakapai ake i ā rātou whanaungatanga moepuku. Heoi, kua whiriwhiria e au te kupu 'moepuku' nā te mea kāore pea rātou e whakaatu i te taumata aroha tinana i roto i te oranga o ia rā.

"I tētahi atu taha, he maha ngā hoa tinihanga ka hoki whakamuri i te whanaungatanga ā-tinana nā te mea kāore e kitea e rātou te ataahua o te hoa, nā te mea rānei kei te tino aro atu ō rātou hinengaro ki te tangata kē. Tērā pea ka āhua tawhiti, ka ngaro hoki ō rātou kare ā-roto ahakoa i ngā wā whanaungatanga." Nō reira, ahakoa he whānui te whānuitanga o ngā huringa o ngā momo whanaungatanga , kotahi te mea e tino mārama ana, ka huri te taumata o te whanaungatanga ina tinihanga tetahi hoa ki tetahi.

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9. He mahi tonu āna hei mahi

E mea ana a Swati, "Ina tinihanga tetahi kotiro i a koe, ka nui te wā e ngaro ana i roto i tana kaupapa mahi." Hei whakatau mena he tika tō whakaaro kei te teka tō hoa ki a koe , pātai atu ki a koe anō:

• He pukumahi rawa tana kaupapa mahi, ā, kāore he wā hei noho tahi me koe?
• He maha ngā wā ka rongo koe i ngā amuamu mō te pikinga o te mahi?
• Kei te roa haere ana hui tari tae noa ki te pō?
• He mahi tonu āna mā te katoa?

Ki te kitea ia e mahi ana i te wā tāpiri, e hoki pō ana rānei i te kāinga tata ki te pō katoa nā te mea i pukumahi ia ki te "āwhina i tētahi hoa e pāngia ana e te raruraru", tera pea ko tētahi o ngā tohu kei te tinihanga tō hoa wahine.

10. He kaikōrero pakiwaitara pai ia

Ka kitea ngā tohu o tana tinihanga i roto i ana pūkenga kōrero. Ehara i te mea e pai ana ki te katoa te kōrero teka ngāwari. Ko tētahi huarahi e ngana ai te tini o te tangata ki te whakaatu i ā rātou kōrero teka kia whakaponohia ko te whakamārama i ā rātou kōrero kia tino taipitopito. Ko ēnei pea ngā tohu e whai ake nei mō ngā kōrero teka i roto i te whanaungatanga :

• He nui rawa ngā kōrero e whakapuakina ana e ia – ngā kākahu o ōna hoa, ngā pūrākau e tukuatu ana e rātou, te nui o te waka i tūtaki ia i a ia e hoki ana ki te kāinga, me ērā atu mea anō.
• Ka kite koe i a ia e whakanui ana i tētahi kōrero māmā noa iho
• Ina pātai koe i ētahi atu pātai, kāore āna whakautu e whakautua - nā te mea pea kāore ia i whakarite i ngā whakamārama whaitake mō ngā pātai e pātaihia ana e koe.

11. Ko to raupapatanga ka whakahihiri i tana hiahia

Ina tinihanga tō hoa wahine i a koe, ka aroturuki tonu ia i tō kaupapa mahi, nā te mea, e hiahia ana ia kia kaua e mau i a ia e mahi ana i tēnei mahi. Ka pātai tonu ia ki a koe mō tō wāhi noho. Ki te hiahia koe ki te hopu i tētahi hoa tinihanga , ngana ki te hoatu ki a ia he whakaaro teka kei te haumaru koe mā te kī atu ki a ia kei te pukumahi koe, kātahi ka puta atu ki tōna tatau ki te 'ohorere' i a ia. Ka puta mai ngā angaanga mai i te kāpata.

12. Te takaro ki ētahi atu i tō aroaro

Ki te kite koe i tō hoa wahine e takaro ana ki ētahi atu, pērā i ō hoa, i ō hoa mahi rānei i tō aroaro, ko te tikanga kāore ia e whakaute ana i ō kare ā-roto. Ki te taea e ia te mahi i tēnā i tō aroaro, ko wai hei kī kāore ia e whiti i te rārangi i muri i tō tuara? Tērā pea ko tētahi o ō hoa e moe tahi ana rāua.

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13. Kei te tuku tonu ia i ana tohutohu mō te wehenga

Ahakoa kāore e taea e ia te kī tika atu kei te tinihanga ia i a koe, ka hoatu e ia he tohu ngawari e hiahia ana ia ki te wehe. Ka whakamārama tonu ia i ngā rerekētanga i waenganui i a kōrua, kāore i whakararuraru i a ia i mua engari i puta whakarere mai hei āwangawanga mōna. Ā, tera pea ka piki ake ngā tautohetohe i waenganui i a kōrua ki ngā taumata kāore anō kia kitea i mua.

Waihoki, ko tētahi o ngā tohu whakatūpato o tētahi hoa wahine tinihanga i roto i tētahi hononga tawhiti ko tana whakapau kaha ki te whakaatu ki a koe kāore he tohu o te hototahitanga i waenganui i a kōrua. Mena kei te kī ia i ngā mea pēnei i te, "Me whakaaro anō tāua ki tēnei whakaritenga", he tūponotanga kua oti kē tana whakarite, ā, he tangata kē kei roto i tōna ao.

14. Ka whakamārama koe i a koe

Ko tētahi momo whakaari tawhito mō te tinihanga a te hoa wahine ki tana hoa tāne, ko tana kī atu kei te whakaaro noa koe. Waihoki, ka whakapae ia i a KOE mō te mea i meinga ai ia kia pērā. Nō reira, ka tīmata koe ki te pātai i tō hinengaro. Tērā pea ka whakahaere ia i a koe kia tae ki te taumata ka tīmata koe ki te ruarua i a koe anō. He rautaki tawhito te whakamāori i ngā whanaungatanga hei huna i te tinihanga me te teka.

I tuhituhi tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit , "Ko te Inoi a te Narcissist he tauira tino pai o te gaslighting: Kāore i tupu. Ā, mēnā i tupu, kāore i tino kino. Ā, mēnā i tupu, ehara i te mea nui. Ā, mēnā i tupu, ehara i te mea he he nōku. Ā, mēnā i tupu, kāore i te tino tikanga. Ā, mēnā i pērā ahau, i tika koe."

15. Kāore tō whānau me ō hoa e whai tikanga ana ki a ia

Kāore te hunga e tata ana ki a koe e whai tikanga ana ki a ia nā te mea kua ngaro i a koe taua tūranga nui i roto i tōna ao. Kei te ngaro haere ōna kare ā-roto mōu, nō reira, kāore ia e hiahia ana kia atawhai, kia whai whakaaro, kia atawhai rānei ki tō whānau me ō hoa. Ko te kore aroha, he tohu pono, he hoa wahine tinihanga. Hei tāpiri, nā te mea kei te hara ia mō te noho tahi me tētahi atu, tera pea ka hiahia ia ki te āta wehe atu i tō ao, ā, ko te karo i tō whānau me ō hoa te taahiraa tuatahi o te tukanga.

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16. Kia mahara, e kore nga kanohi e teka

Tērā pea ka mea koe, "Ki taku whakaaro i tinihanga ia i ahau, engari kāore e taea e au te whakaatu." Āe, he uaua pea te kite i ngā tohu e tinihanga ana ia mā te karere kuputuhi, mā te karere tūturu rānei, engari ka whiwhi koe i ngā whakautu e rapuhia ana e koe mēnā ka titiro hōhonu koe ki ōna kanohi. Mēnā he pono te aroha o tō hoa ki a koe , ka maia ia ki te whakapuaki i ōna kare ā-roto me te titiro tika ki ō kanohi. Engari, ki te karo ia i te titiro tika ki ō kanohi, tera pea he tohu kei te tinihanga ia, kei te whai kare ā-roto rānei ia ki tētahi atu.

17. Kāore kōrua e kōrero tetahi ki tetahi

I a ia e whakamārama ana he aha te take o te kore whakapono ki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, e kī ana a Swaty, "Ko te āhua o tā tātou whakawhitiwhiti kōrero e whakaatu ana i te nui o ō tātou kare ā-roto. Mēnā he kore whakapono pea, ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero te mea tuatahi e pāngia ana. Ka heke ohorere te wā kounga e whakapuakina ai e ngā hoa tokorua ō rātou ngākau aroha tetahi ki tetahi, ka kōrerohia hoki ngā rā hoha me te hihiri."

"Ki te tinihanga tetahi kōtiro i a koe, ka pai ake ia ki te noho motuhake, kaua e kōrero nui mō tōna oranga ki a koe. I taua wā, tera pea ka puta tōna āhua kāore e aro ki ngā kare ā-roto ina ngana koe ki te kōrero ki a ia. Ka iti haere te titiro kanohi, ā, ka tīmata te memeha haere o ana whakaaturanga aroha, ahakoa i te aroaro o te marea, i te tūmataiti rānei. Kāore tana reo tinana e tuwhera pērā i mua. Ka whakautua ngā pātai whaiaro ki ngā whakautu poto, kore whakatau, me te kore e piripono."

18. Kua ngaro ia i te aroha

Ko tētahi o ngā tohu whakatūpato o tētahi hoa wahine tinihanga ko tana huna tonu i a koe i ia wā, i ia wā. I roto i tana kōrero mō tēnei, i kōrero a Tākuta Juuhi Raai , te kaiako pūkenga ora , ki a Bonobology, "I tētahi rā, ka koa ia ki a koe, ā, ka noho ia i roto i ō ringa i te ao me te pō katoa. Kātahi ka ohorere, kāore ia e whakahoki mai i ō waea/tuhituhi, ā, kāore hoki e hoki mai ki te kāinga." Ko tēnei whanonga wera me te makariri he tohu pea kei reira tētahi atu tangata i roto i tōna ao, ā, ka pōhēhē ia i waenganui i a kōrua.

19. Kei te tuku karere tonu ia ki tētahi

Haunga te haere ki te ara raro ki te kōrero mārire, kei te mahi tonu tana kēmu tuku karere kuputuhi . Ki te kore e taea e tō hoa wahine te noho tawhiti atu i tana waea ahakoa mō tētahi wā poto, tera pea kei te mahi tetahi atu i a ia i te ao, i te pō. I kitea e taku hoa, e Eric, te tinihanga a tana hoa wahine i a ia nā tētahi mea ōrite.

I mea ia, "Kua hoha ahau ki te whai hononga ki te atarangi o tētahi tangata e noho ana i muri i taua mata. Kāore ia i tino kitea i roto i ā māua kōrero. Kāore ia i waiho i tana waea ina mutu tā māua kai, koinei anake te wā i taea ai e māua te kōrero mō ō māua rā, me te pārekareka ki te noho tahi." 

20. Ka noho pōuri te hunga e tata ana ki a ia i a koe

Tērā pea kei te mōhio tetahi o tōna ao ki ngā mea katoa e ngana ana ia ki te huna i a koe. Tērā pea ka whakawhirinaki ia ki tana hoa pai hei whakatau i te hara o te tangata tinihanga . Tērā pea ka hipokina ia e tōna teina, teina rānei, e tōna whanaunga rānei ina hiahiatia. Me pēhea e kitea ai ngā tohu o te moepuku? Tirohia mēnā he huringa kei roto i te whanonga o ana hoa tata me tōna whānau i a koe.

• He rerekē tā rātou mahi ki a koe?
• Ka noho māharahara rātou ki a koe?
• Ka karohia koe e rātou, ka whakaatu rānei i ngā kare ā-roto kino ki a koe?
• Kei te piki haere tō rātou kore aro ki a koe?
• Kei te kite koe i a rātou e whakarērea ana tō aro, e matara atu ana rānei i a koe?

Mena ko te whakautu he āe, tera pea nā te mea kua mōhio kē rātou ki te pono whakamā.

Pānui e pā ana: 10 Ngā Tohu Kāore Koe i te Rite mō tētahi Hononga Pono, Pūmau

21. He uaua ki a ia te whakapuaki i tōna aroha

I te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga, kāore pea he raruraru i pā ki tō hoa wahine ki te whakapuaki i tōna aroha me te kī "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe" i ngā wā maha i te rā. Engari ināianei, ki te mea he uaua ki a ia te whakapuaki i ōna kare ā-roto , tera pea nā te mea kua tinihanga ia i a koe. Tērā pea ka kore ia e whakautu wawe me te pono ki ō kupu aroha me te aroha. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohu tino kaha o tētahi hoa wahine tinihanga.

22. Kei te whakaatu mai tō kare ā-roto he mea kē te āhua

E mōhio ana tō puku kei te hē tetahi mea. Nā te mea kei te rongo tō ngākau i tetahi mea ahakoa kei te whakakahore tō hinengaro. Kia maumahara, kāore e hē te tirohanga ā-roto. Nō reira, ki te kore e taea e koe te whakakore i te whakaaro pōuri kei te tinihanga tō hoa wahine, tera pea kei te tinihanga ia. Nā, kei a koe te whakatau he aha tāu mahi e whai ake nei. Pātai atu ki a koe anō,

• Kei te hiahia koe ki te tū atu ki a ia?
• Ki te mea kei te pouri ia, ka hiahia koe ki te hoatu anō i tētahi whai wāhitanga ki te whanaungatanga?
• Ki te kore, me pēhea koe e anga whakamua ai i tēnei hinganga?

Kia maumahara, kāore he whakautu tika, kāore hoki he whakautu hē i konei. Engari, kia maumahara hoki, kāore he nama āu ki tō hoa wahine tinihanga. Kua tae ki te wā ki te whakatakoto i tō ake oranga ki runga ake i ngā mea katoa, me te mahi i ngā mea katoa e tika ana kia mahia e koe hei tīmata i te tukanga whakaora.

Ināianei, ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakaae ki ngā tohu o tētahi hoa wahine tinihanga. Tērā pea ka pāngia koe e te raruraru kare ā-roto e pā ana ki a koe. Koinei te wā hei whakatairanga i a koe anō me tō oranga kare ā-roto. Whakawhirinaki ki ō whanaunga mō te tautoko, me te arotahi ki te tukanga whakaora, kia taea ai e koe te neke whakamua me te waiho i tēnei upoko kino i roto i te wā. Mēnā kei te hiahia āwhina koe ki te whakaoti i te mamae me te whara, kei konei ngā kaiārahi o te rōpū Bonobology hei tautoko i a koe.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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