He maha ngā wā ka moemoeā koe mō tō hoa tāne o mua, i te mea kāore anō kia mutu te whanaungatanga, kāore anō rānei kia mutu. Ki ētahi o tātou, he tino paitini te whanaungatanga, kei te mau tonu ngā tohu i roto i a tātou, ā, ko ngā moemoeā e hokihoki mai ana he tohu nō te mamae o te ngākau.
He mea maori noa iho te hiahia kia neke atu – mā te hokinga mai, te whakaipoipo noa, mā te noho anō rānei i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga aroha tino hou. Engari i mua i tā tātou mahi i tēnā, me mārama tātou he aha tātou i moemoeā ai mō tā tātou hoa tāne o mua, me tana hoa aroha hou anō hoki. Ina puta mai tētahi hoa o mua i roto i tō moemoeā, ehara i te mea nā te mea kei te ngaro noa koe i a ia. He take hohonu ake tēnei i konei.
Ki te kore anō kia puta he otinga, tera pea kei te akiakihia koe e tō hinengaro huna kia kōrero ki tō hoa o mua – ki te whakaaro koe kāore he mahi kāore anō kia oti i a koe ki a ia, ā, me kōrero koe ki a ia kia marino ai tō hinengaro, me pērā tonu.
He aha koe i moe ai mō tō hoa o mua?
Ripanga o Ihirangi
Ko koe te tangata whakahāwea, te tangata whakahāwea rānei i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Ae, he pai te noho tahi o ngā wehenga engari mēnā i roto i tōu āhuatanga, kei te moemoeā koe mō aua wehenga…tērā anō hoki me tō hoa o mua? Mēnā ko koe te tangata whakahāwea, tera pea kāore tō whakapehapeha e hiahia kia whakaipoipo tō hoa o mua i tētahi atu, kia harikoa ai; mēnā ko koe te tangata whakahāwea, kei te pouri tonu tō ngākau, ā, e hiahia ana kia hoki mai rātou.
Kei te pātai koe ki a koe anō, "He aha ahau i moemoeā ai mō taku hoa o mua ahakoa kua wareware ahau ki a ia?" Āe, tera pea he mea tino tairongo kei te tupu i konei. Tērā ētahi take e takahi ana ia i ō moemoeā, ā, i ētahi wā kei te kite koe i tana hoa wahine o nāianei i roto i ō moemoeā. He aha tēnei e tupu ana? Kia kōrero atu mātou ki a koe.
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1. Te whakaaro mō te wehenga
Ina kua whakaaroaro tonu koe mō te wehenga, me te arotake i ngā mea me whakapai ake, ehara i te mea whakarihariha te moemoeā mō tō hoa o mua. He mārama, he maha ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia i tō taha, koia pea te kitenga atu i tō hoa o mua me tētahi atu i roto i te moemoeā.
Ka tīmata koe ki te moemoeā mōna me tētahi atu wahine – ā, ka whakaaro kei te mahi rāua i ngā mea katoa kāore i taea e kōrua te mahi hei tokorua. Kei te tupu katoa tēnei nā te mea kāore e taea e koe te tuku i a ia. Kua whakatau koe e hiahia ana koe ki tēnei wehenga engari kāore anō tō ngākau kia whakaae ki tēnā.
2. Ko te hiahia kia mōhiotia koe ka arahi pea ki te moemoeā mō tō hoa tāne o mua
Tērā pea kei te tumanako tonu koe ka mōhio tō hoa o mua ko koe te tangata mōna, ā, rere mai hoki ki a koeĀ, koia koe i whakaaro ai ki a ia me tētahi atu wahine he iti iho tōna kaha i a koe ina tae ki te whakahari i a ia. He mea huna, e hiahia ana koe kia whai whakaaro anō ia.
Ina moemoeā koe mō tētahi hoa tāne o mua me tētahi hoa wahine hou, tera pea nā te mea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakarite i waenga i te tangata ka taea e ia te noho tahi me koe me te tangata ka noho tahi me tētahi kotiro hou. Ā, e whakapono ana koe he nui ake tōna harikoa ki a koe. Nō reira, ina kite koe i te kotiro hou, ko te mea anake e kite ana koe ko te harikoa e ngaro ana i a ia, ā, koia rā te mea i tika kia taea e koe te hoatu ki a ia.
3. Kua whara tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō
Ko te whakaaro nui rawa tētahi o ngā take mō te moemoeā mō tētahi hoa o mua me tana hoa hou. Tērā pea ka tīmata koe ki te whakataurite i ō hoa hononga o mua me tana whanaungatanga o nāianei, ā, ka waiho anō hei porowhita nanakia o te pouri, te hara me te mamae o te ngākau kia hoki mai anō.
Ina kite koe i roto i ō moemoeā i tētahi hoa tāne o mua e harikoa ana ki tētahi hoa wahine hou, ka pā mai te pouri me te hara ki a koe mō te ngaro atu i a ia me te tuku i a ia kia haere. Ko tō riri i ahu mai i tētahi raruraru whakaaro nui ki a koe anō nā tēnei wehenga i hanga. Ko te tuku i a ia kia haere koia te hapa nui rawa atu o tō ao, ā, i ia rā, ka iti haere tō whakaaro, ka nui haere tō koretake nā te mea.
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4. He rite tonu, he kōtiro rerekē
Mena he whanaungatanga kino, kei te āwangawanga koe kei pāngia te wahine hou e te mamae i pā ki a koe. Ka pai ngā mea i te tīmatanga, engari i te mutunga ka huri te whanaungatanga hei kawa pērā i tōu ake take. He tino whakama rawa koe ki te whakatūpato i a ia, ā, ko tēnei manukanuka katoa kei te whakamoea koe.
Nō reira, ina kite koe i tō hoa o mua me tētahi atu i roto i te moemoeā, tera pea he tohu tēnei kei te manukanuka koe mō te tangata hou e piri tahi ana ia. Kāore tēnei e pā ana ki tō mamae, ki tō whara rānei, engari he manukanuka noa iho mō te kotiro e whai ake nei.
5. Te tīmatanga o te mutunga
Tērā pea kei te ngana tō hinengaro huna ki te whakaatu kua neke atu tō hoa o mua, ā, kua tae ki te wā kia neke atu anō hoki koe. Mā te whakaatu i tētahi moemoeā mō tō hoa o mua me tana hoa hou, kei te āwhina tō hinengaro huna i a koe ki te mārama ki te āhua o te āhuatanga.
He mea pai pea tēnei māu. Nō reira, ki te whakaaro koe, "Ki te moemoeā ahau mō taku hoa o mua, he tohu tēnei kei te ngaro ahau i a ia?", e hine, whakamutua aua whakaaro. Kāore ia e ngaro i a koe, ā, kua tae pea te wā kia mutu tō ngaro i a ia. Kia mōhio kei te noho kōrua i ngā oranga e rua, ā, ka taea e kōrua te tuku i ētahi atu hoa ki roto i ō kōrua oranga hou.
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6. Mā te rite ki te neke atu ka puta ai ngā moemoeā mō te hoa tāne o mua
Kua rite pea koe ki te tuku i a koe anō, kia kite i a koe anō i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hou, hauora hoki. Kei te moemoeā koe mō tētahi hoa tāne o mua me tētahi hoa wahine hou, nā te mea kei te mataku koe kei mahi anō koe i ngā hapa ōrite i roto i tō whanaungatanga hou. Kāore koe e hiahia kia hoki anō ngā mea o mua, nō reira kei te puta ēnei moemoeā.
Nō reira, tera pea ka puta mai tētahi hoa o mua i roto i tō moemoeā, kāore he pānga ki tō ngākau whara engari he pānga nui atu ki tō mataku mō te heke mai. Ko tō moemoeā mō tētahi hoa o mua ehara i te mea kei te pupuri tonu koe i a ia engari tera pea kei te akiaki ia i a koe ki te huarahi tika. Heoi, ko tō ake ruarua kei te aukati i a koe i te mea kei te pāngia koe e ētahi manukanuka hou mō te whanaungatanga.
Kāore he take e whakama ai koe, e whakama ai rānei, nā te mea kei te moemoeā tonu koe mō tētahi hoa tāne o mua. I noho tahi kōrua i ngā wā piripono, i hanga maharatanga, ā, i moemoeā pea mō te noho tahi mō te wā roa. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te wareware i ēnei momo mea, ka neke atu.
Heoi, kāore he tikanga i roto i te Paipera mō te moemoeā mō tō hoa o mua, nā te mea ka māmā ake ngā mea. Engari he maha ngā take kua whakarārangihia i runga ake nei, koinei pea te take e kite tonu ai koe i a ia i roto i ō moemoeā. Nāu te wā ki te mahi, ki te wetewete i ēnei take, ki te mārama ki a koe anō, me te kimi i te mea e ārahi ana koe e kite ana i te moemoeā mō tētahi hoa o mua e harikoa ana me tana hoa wahine hou.
Ngā moemoeā mō te hoa o mua - me pēhea te whakamutu?
Hei tuku i te kitenga i tō hoa o mua me tētahi atu i roto i te moemoeā, me whakaae kei te noho tonu ētahi take kāore anō kia oti i a koe, ā, ko koe te aro ki te hae ā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te kite i tētahi atu kōtiro me tō hoa o mua, kāore rānei koe e hiahia kia pāngia ia e ngā mea i pā ki a koe. Mena ko te mea whakamutunga tēnei, ehara i te mea māu te ārahi i a ia – nā te mea ko te mea kāore pea i pai mōu, tera pea ka pai mōna. He ahurei ia āhuatanga, ia momo aroha, he rerekē hoki.
Ahakoa te take o ō moemoeā – ka tīmata ēnei moemoeā e hokihoki mai ana te noho hei raruraru i muri i tētahi wā. Whakamātauria koe anō me ō raruraru – toro atu ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro, whiriwhiria te whakaaroaro, kōrero ki ō hoa kia mārama ai ō whakaaro mō ngā mea, tuhia ō kare ā-roto ki roto i tētahi puka tuhi, ā, i tētahi rā pai ka ara ake koe ka mōhio kāore i te tika – kāore kōrua ko tō hoa o mua i te tika mō tētahi ki tētahi.
Kia tau te rangimārie ki a koe anō, ā, kua tae ki te otinga e hiahiatia ana e koe, kāore koe e moemoeā anō mō tō hoa tāne o mua me tana hoa wahine hou.
Ā, koinā te wā ka mutu rawa. He nui ngā ika kē atu i te moana. Ahakoa kāore i angitu tētahi hononga, ehara i te mea ka pāngia anō ō whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei e te mate kotahi. Kia tumanako, kia maia, kia haere tonu! He pāwhiri noa iho tā mātou rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro hei āwhina i a koe.
FAQs
Ina puta mai tētahi hoa o mua i roto i tō moemoeā, ehara i te mea tūpono noa iho. Tērā pea kāore anō koe kia wareware ki tō hoa o mua, kua pāngia rānei koe e te mamae. kore o te katiMena ko te mea whakamutunga tēnei, ko te huarahi pai ko te kōrero ngākau ki te ngākau ki a ia, ka kati ai i te upoko mō ake tonu atu.
He uaua ki te mārama ki te wheako o te kitenga i tō hoa o mua me tētahi atu i roto i te moemoeā. Mena ehara te whakapā atu ki tō hoa o mua i te kōwhiringa pai māu, ka taea e koe te whakapā atu ki ō hoa, tae atu ki whakapā atu ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro mēnā kei te arai mai i tō oranga o ia rā. He mea whakaora anō hoki te tuhi i ō kare ā-roto.
Kei te pātai koe ki a koe anō, "He aha koe i moemoeā ai mō taku hoa o mua ahakoa kua wareware ahau ki a ia?" Nā te mea kāore anō kia wareware koe ki a ia. Ko tāu noa e hiahia ana kia pērā, ā, koia te take i whakaaro ai koe kua pērā koe. Kaua e akiaki i a koe kia neke atu, kia manawanui, kia hoatu he wā ki a koe anō. Mahihia ō raruraru, kia ngana hoki kia noho hei putanga pai rawa atu o koe. Mā te haere tonu, ina ako koe ki te tuku, ka mutu ngā moemoeā.
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