Me pēhea te wareware i tētahi i arohaina e koe?

Ko te kimi huarahi hei wareware i tētahi i arohaina e koe me tō ngākau katoa, koinei pea tētahi o ngā mea tino uaua rawa atu me aro atu koe i te ao. Ehara i te mea ka roa ngā whanaungatanga katoa, ā, ehara hoki i te mea ka pārekareka katoa ō kōrero whakaipoipo ki ngā mokopuna. Ahakoa e mōhio ana te nuinga o tātou i runga i te hinengaro, kei te uaua tonu te whakaae ki tēnei ao tūturu. Heoi anō, ina pāngia tātou e te mamae o te ngākau pouri.

Ahakoa he pai te whakapono me te aroha nui, kia mōhio koe ka taea e koe te aroha, me te tino hiahia, me te aroha nui, neke atu i te kotahi. Ā, ehara i te mea kino rawa atu tēnā. He maha ngā wā harikoa me ngā wā pouri i roto i ia upoko, me ngā akoranga hei ako me ngā wheako hei maumahara. Waihoki, tera pea he pēhanga koretake ki tō ngākau me tō wairua ki te whakapono me wareware rawa koe ki tētahi kia taea ai e koe te neke atu.

He mea tino taea te muku i ngā maharatanga o tētahi tangata i noho i tētahi wāhi nui i roto i tō ngākau i mua, kāore rānei e mau tonu ana i roto i tō hinengaro, pērā i tētahi mahi kāore anō kia oti? Me te tohunga hinengaro Jaseena Backer (MSc Psychology), he tohunga whakahaere ira tangata me te whanaungatanga, me ngana tātou kia kaua e rite tēnei arai ki te mahi uaua. Me pēhea te wareware i tētahi i arohaina e koe i mua? E hia ngā rā e pau ana ki te wareware i tētahi? Me ngā māramatanga me ngā tohutohu āwhina mai i te tohunga, me wehewehe tātou.

Ka taea e koe te mutu te aroha ki tētahi?

Tumuaki Hinengaro Juhi Pandey (MA Psychology) i kōrero i mua ki a Bonobology, "Ina kua piri te tangata ki te taha hinengaro, te taha tinana, te taha pāpori, ehara i te mea ka hanga noa i te hononga kare ā-roto engari ka huri anō hoki i tō hinengaro i te taumata io. Kei roto i ō neurons ngā maharatanga e hangaia ana e koe i ia rā. He roa te wā e pau ana ki te wetewete i aua maharatanga, he rerekē i ia tangata, i ia tangata.”

Nō reira, he rerekē te whakautu ki te pātai me pēhea te wareware i tētahi, i ia tangata. Tērā pea ka neke atu ētahi i roto i te wā poto nā ō rātou whakaaro whānui ki te ao. Tērā pea ka noho pōuri ētahi nā te nui o te piripono. He rite tonu te tika o ēnei whakautu e rua, mena ka whakawhirinaki koe ki a koe anō, ka whakapau kaha tonu ki te whakaora i ngā patunga kare ā-roto.

E ai ki te rangahau i roto i te Journal of Positive Psychology, e 11 wiki pea te roa mō te tangata kia tīmata te ora ake i te pakaru o te whanaungatanga. Engari kei te toe tonu te pātai, ka taea e koe te mutu te aroha ki tētahi? Kāore pea koe e hiahia ki te mahi pēnā, he mea noa pea te whakaae ki ngā āhuatanga o tō whanaungatanga ki a rātou i muri i tō wehenga.

E hiahia ana mātou ki te whakaaro i tētahi atu tirohanga. Engari i te whakaaroaro mēnā ka taea e koe te mutu te aroha ki tētahi, ka tūtohu mātou kia tahuri koe ki te aroha ki a koe anō. Kua hangaia e mātou he tukanga e toru ngā taahiraa hei āwhina i a koe ki te mau tonu i tēnei tirohanga.

Me pēhea te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe? Ko te mahi i te wehe ko te taahiraa tuatahi

Ina pau te aroha, tera pea ka rite tō ngākau ki te totohu. Kāore mātou e huna i te aroha. Tērā pea ka rite ki te kore e kitea e koe tētahi hei haumi atu māu. Ka rite koe ki te mea kua whakarērea, kua kore hoki e whakawhirinaki ki te ao e karapoti ana i a koe. Tērā pea ka rite koe ki whakarērea te aroha tino. Hei whawhai ki ēnei kare ā-roto kino katoa, me whakaae koe kua mutu te whanaungatanga. Ko te whakakorekore te hoariri nui rawa atu ina ngana koe ki te wareware i tētahi i piri tata atu koe ki a koe anō.

Kāore he pai o te pupuri i ngā maharatanga tawhito. Ko te whakaaro ki ō rātou kanohi i te matapihi o te toa hoko kai, te hongi i a rātou i runga i ō urunga kāore i horoia – he mea katoa ēnei hei ārai i te tukanga o te wareware i tētahi. Nō reira, i mua i tō tango i tētahi atu ipu aihikirīmi, me aro tātou ki te raruraru o te pehea e wareware ai i tētahi kāore i te tika kia noho ki roto i tō ao.

He kupu whakatūpato: ki te mea kei te ngana koe ki te rapu huarahi hei wareware wawe i tētahi, kia mōhio koe kāore he tokotoko makutu hei whakaweto i ngā kare ā-roto. Kāore ngā kare ā-roto o te tangata e mahi i roto i te pango me te mā. Heoi, mā te wehe atu i a koe i te tangata e arohaina ana e koe ka tīmata te kaupapa. Ahakoa te ūkui i ngā maharatanga mamae Ki te kore e taea katoatia, ka māmā ake te mahi tahi me rātou. Hei tīmatanga, me waihanga he wāhi hei manawa māu. Hei waihanga i tēnei wāhi, me poroporoaki mārire koe ki te whanaungatanga, wāhanga i te wāhanga. Tīmata mā te whakatinana i te ture kore-pā, kātahi ka haere tonu mai i reira.

Te pānui e pā ana: He aha i tino uaua ai te wareware i ngā wehenga mō ētahi tāngata i ētahi atu?

1. Tukua koe kia tangi, kia pouri hoki

He whakaora mamae te tangi, he mea e hē ai te whakaaro he tohu ngoikore. Ehara te ngoikore me te pouri i te tohu koretake. He whakaaturanga noa iho tēnei o te raruraru i roto i a koe. Kia ata noho, tangihia mēnā e tika ana. Kaua e huna tō pouri ki ngā ataata rūpahu. Ahakoa he pai te tangi hei tāne kia rite ki tāu e hiahia ana. Ko te kaha ehara i te mea ko te kati i ō kare ā-roto me te maka atu i ngā kī engari ko te āheinga ki te whakaae me te awhi i tō āhua kare ā-roto.

E mea ana a Jaseena, "He huarahi tino pai te tangi hei whakamama i a koe anō, hei tuku i ngā kare ā-roto me te riri kua puritia. Engari ki te nui rawa, ka whakararu koe i ō tupono ki te ahu whakamua. Kia roa te wā, tangihia, ā, whakapuakina ō whakaaro i ngā mea katoa e taea ana e koe. Engari kaua e waiho hei mahi noa, ki te kore ka piri rawa koe ki ō kare ā-roto o te pouri me te koretake."

2. Kaua e kainga ō kare ā-roto kia wareware ai koe ki tētahi i pakaru tō ngākau

He tokomaha te hunga e tahuri ana ki te kai nui hei whakahaere i ō rātou kare ā-roto. He mea nui tēnei KAUA e mahia mēnā kei te ngana koe ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe. He mea maori noa iho te rapu whakamarie i roto i tētahi mea hei whakamarie i a koe i ngā mamae katoa. Engari he aha e kore ai e whakawhirinaki ki tētahi mahi whai hua ake pērā i te tuhi i tētahi rātaka ina uaua ana koe ki te wareware i tētahi e piripono ana koe ki te kare ā-roto?

He mea nui kia tukuna ngā kare ā-roto ki waho. Nō reira, ki te mea me aukati koe i a rātou, me muku i tā rātou nama waea, me tahu rānei i ā rātou whakaahua i te ara ki tēnā, me whakaaro koe ki tēnā. Kaua e whara i a koe anō, i tētahi atu rānei i roto i tēnei mahi. Ko te whakaaro kia wehe atu koe i ngā kare ā-roto kino katoa kia taea ai e koe te tīmata whakaaro nui ake, kia mārama ake hoki.

3. Tangohia ā rātou mea i tō tirohanga

He iti noa ngā mea hei mahi māu hei wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe kei raro i tō mana whakahaere. Ko te pakitara kī tonu i ā rātou whakaahua e titiro tika mai ana ki a koe, i ā rātou hāte rānei e takoto ana i roto i tō kākahu he tunu mō te pakaru o ngā kare ā-roto e tata ana ki te puta. Whakapono mai, ehara tēnā i te huarahi pai ki te mahi i tēnā.

Me mahi tēnei – tākaihia ā rātou taonga, taraiwa atu ki tō rātou whare, waiho atu rātou ki reira, kaua hoki e hoatu he take ki a koe kia hoki atu. Ki te hiahiatia, ka taea e koe te whiriwhiri kia kaua e kite i ō hoa mō tētahi wā. Kōrero noa atu ki a rātou tō hiahia mō te wāhi. Kia maumahara, ehara i te mea hiahia ki te tono i ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e koe hei ara ake anō i muri i tētahi raruraru nui.

4. Kaua e taraiwa haereere i ngā wāhi tawhito

Ko te taraiwa i te taha o te wharekai e haere pinepine ana koe me tō hoa aroha, te haere rānei ki tā rātou toa aihikirīmi tino pai, he mea katoa ēnei ka whakararuraru i a koe, ka whakapōuri hoki i a koe mō te wehenga. Kua tae ki te wā ki te wehe atu i taua mahi, ka whakarite i tētahi mahi hou. Kimihia he wāhi hou hei haere atu, ka hanga i ngā maharatanga hou, harikoa hoki ki reira.

Ngāna kia karohia ngā wāhi i noho tahi ai kōrua ko tō hoa o mua i ngā wā whakamiharo. Mā te hoki anō ki ngā wāhi tawhito, ngā wāhi mōhio, me te maumahara ki aua maharatanga ka uaua noa iho. Ehara i te mea me whakarērea rawatia aua wāhi tawhito. Engari kia ngaro rā anō i a koe te tangata i arohaina nuitia e koe, ka āwhina pea tēnei ki te karo i ngā mea ka puta ai he awha onepū pouri.

5. Hei wareware i tētahi, kati te panuku i ōna kōtaha pāpāho pāpori

Ki te whai tonu koe i ngā pāpāho pāpori a tō hoa o mua, me te whai i ana nekehanga katoa, ka pātai pea koe, "He aha te uaua ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe?" Ki te ngana koe ki te mōhio ki ngā mea katoa e pā ana ki tōna oranga i muri i a koe, e kore rawa e āwhina i a koe ki te hanga anō i tō oranga. He mea iti, he mea whakapouri, ā, ka whakaroa noa i a koe i tō haerenga ki te wareware i tō hoa o mua. Nō reira, me kī anō, kati te whai i a rātou!

Kaua hoki e ngana ki te whakanui i tō pūkenga pāpāho pāpori nā te mea e mōhio ana koe ki tēnā kei te tirotiro tō hoa o mua tō kōtaha. Kaua e tukuatu i ngā whakaahua kia kitea ai koe e rātou, kia ngaro ai rātou i a koe. Āraia tō rātou kōtaha mēnā e tika ana.

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6. Kaua e whakamahi kino i te waipiro hei wareware i tētahi

He tokomaha te hunga e whakaaro ana ko te waipiro te otinga ki te wareware i te tangata nāna koe i whara. Nā te mea ka taea e ia te muru i aua maharatanga mō tētahi wā poto, ka kitea e te tangata te rongoā mō tō rātou pouri i te mutunga o te pounamu, ā, kāore e roa ka kitea e rātou kei te pāngia e te whakawhirinakitanga kino.

Jaseena e mea ana, "He kino te whakamahi kino i ngā raau taero ahakoa pēhea. Ko te inu hei wareware i tētahi, ko te tango raau taero rānei, he whakaora wā poto noa iho, engari ka pā he kino tuturu. Mō taua wā, he tika te āhua. Engari me hoki tonu koe ki te oranga noa. Kaua e whakamahi nui rawa i te raau taero, kaua hoki e tukua kia tukinotia koe."

He pai te waipiro hei whakangā i ētahi wā, engari koinei te huarahi kino rawa atu hei tango i te tangata i roto i tō hinengaro. Ki te ngana koe ki te wareware i tētahi e kite ana koe i ia rā, tera pea ka māmā ake te inu i te mamae. He mawhiti noa iho i te raruraru tūturu ka pana pea koe ki tētahi raruraru hou. Ko te raruraru inu te mea whakamutunga e hiahiatia ana e koe hei tāpiri atu ki ō raruraru.

7. Kati te rapu i a rātou i roto i ngā mea e karapoti ana i a koe

I a koe e mahi ana i ō mahi o ia rā, tera pea ka mau koe i a koe e whakaaro ana ki a rātou, ā, ka ngaro atu i a koe. Ina ngana koe ki te whakaaturia ki tētahi e aroha ana koe mō te wā roa, ehara i te mea ngāwari te wareware i a rātou. Ina puta ake ēnei whakaaro me ngā maharatanga, kaua e pana atu, engari i te wā kotahi, kati te mahi i runga i aua whakaaro. Ki te kore, ka puta tonu mai ēnei kare ā-roto o te hiahia, kāore i karangatia.

Ki te mea kua roa koe e noho tahi ana me rātou, tata ki ngā mea katoa e karapoti ana i a koe ka waiho hei whakamahara, hei whakaoho hoki. Me ēnei whakaoho katoa, tera pea ka rite koe ki te mea kei roto koe i tētahi porowhita e kore e taea. Engari kaua e whakauaua ki a koe anō. Engari kaua e karo i ngā mea katoa e whakamahara ana i a koe ki a rātou, ngana ki te ata hohou i te rongo ki a rātou, ki te whakakore noa rānei i a rātou mō ake tonu atu.

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8. Kati te whakarongo ki tā rātou rārangi waiata kia wareware ai koe ki tētahi

Mā te whakaaro ki ngā waiata e pai ana ki a rātou, te whakarongo rānei ki ngā waiata i kanikani pōrangi ai rātou i roto i te kīhini, ka whakararu noa iho i tāu rapunga. te hohou i te rongo ki ngā mea o muaKāore aua wā e noho ana i tēnei wā. Nō reira, he mea nui kia waiho e koe aua wā, ka hohou i te rongo ki tō mua.

Hei tere te wareware i tētahi, mukua te mamae mā te muku i ā rātou waiata mai i tō waea. Mā te whakarongo ki tētahi waiata ka hoki mai te waipuke o ngā kare ā-roto. He kawa, he reka hoki te waiata. Engari he pai tēnā nā te mea kei te huri haere tonu. Kimihia he rārangi waiata hou hei hono atu ki ō kare ā-roto me ō kare ā-roto.

Waihangahia he wāhi māu hei pupuri i ō kare ā-roto. Kia mahara, he maha ngā tāngata e ngana ana ki te mawhiti atu i tēnei taahiraa nā te mea he tino uaua. Heoi, he mea nui te mahi tuatahi mēnā kei te pirangi koe ki te wareware i tētahi tangata nui ki a koe.

Me pēhea te wareware i tētahi? Kia matatau ki te toi o te tuku

Kia oti i a koe te mahi tuatahi mā te wehe atu i a koe i ngā kare ā-roto kino me te mamae, ka taea e koe te neke atu ki te wāhanga e whai ake nei, arā, te toi o te tuku. Kāore e taea e koe te neke whakamua mēnā ka tukuna e koe ō kare ā-roto kia ārahi i a koe. I a koe e tīmata ana ki te whakaaro tika ake, ka mau koe ki te ara pai ki te neke whakamua.

Heoi, me nui te whakaharatau hei matatau i tēnei mahi toi. Ina mamae koe, ko te tuku i te mea whakamutunga e hiahia ana koe ki te mahi, ā, koinei hoki te mea nui rawa atu hei mahi. I a koe e mārama ana, e aroha ana ki te āhuatanga, e whakamārama ana hoki i te āhua, ka tīmata koe ki te kimi whakautu. Mā ēnei tohutohu e whai ake nei koe e āwhina ki ngā kaupapa matua o te toi uaua o te neke whakamua me te whakaiti i te mamae me te mamae.

1. Peke atu i te tereina mahara

E mārama ana mātou he tino whakawara tēnei haerenga tereina. Me te mea he mea whakamoe. E hiahia ana mātou ki te peke atu ki raro, ki te mātakitaki i a ia e pahemo ana, hei whakarerekētanga. E kore pea e taea e koe te whakakore rawa i ngā maharatanga tawhito, engari ka taea tonu. hinga i tētahi tere ake mēnā kāore koe e tuku i aua maharatanga tawhito kia horomia koe.

E kī ana a Jaseena, "Kāore he tikanga hei wareware i ngā maharatanga o tētahi whanaungatanga. Ka hoki mai ngā maharatanga ina toro atu koe ki ngā wāhi tawhito, ina mātaki rānei i ngā kiriata tawhito i pai ai koe. He maha tonu ngā mea e whakaohooho ana i a koe. Ko te huarahi anake hei āwhina i a koe ko te ngana kia kaua e whakaaroaro ki aua mea. Tukua kia pahemo atu, engari me neke atu."

2. Kia mārama ki te mea i hē

He rā kei te whakaaro tātou katoa, "He aha te uaua ki te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe?" Āe, nā te mea he maha ngā wā ka hinga tātou i ō tātou kare ā-roto, ā, ka āhua kanapa ake ngā mahara o mua i tōna āhua o mua. Ko te huarahi anake hei ārai i tēnei me te wareware i tētahi i pakaru ai tō ngākau ko te whakamahi i ngā whakaaro tika, arorau hoki. Mā te whakamahara tonu ki a koe anō he aha te take i tika ai te wehenga, ka iti ake te tūponotanga ka hoki anō koe ki te aroha ki a rātou, ka tere hoki te mawhiti i te wehenga. 

E mea ana a Jaseena, "He tino uaua ki te mārama ki te mea i hē i te tīmatanga, nā te mea ina tīmata te pakaru o ngā mea, kāore i te tino mārama ngā whakamārama i te nuinga o te wā. Engari ko te tangata e noho ana, e whakaaroaro ana, e mārama ana ki te mea i hē, me te take hoki. Ko te nuinga o tātou kāore e pai ki te tango i te whakapae mō te wehenga. Koia te mea nui ake o te whakaaroaro."

3. Āraia te uaua ki a koe anō kia wareware ki te aroha taha kotahi

He mahi nui te wareware i te aroha o tōu ao, ā, e kore rawa e ngāwari. Haunga tēnā, ehara i te mea ka angitu ia rā, inā koa mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te wareware i tētahi e kite ana koe i ia rā. He tino uaua tēnā, inā koa mēnā kei te ngana koe ki te wareware. aroha taha taha rānei kia aro atu ki te whakakorenga.

Engari he pai katoa. Kāore e tika kia hinga i ia rā, ā, kāore e taea e koe te whakaaro he toa koe i ngā wā katoa. Ka uaua ake ētahi rā i ētahi atu, ā, kāore pea he mea nui e taea e koe te mahi hei whakakore i ngā mea katoa. Kainga kia nui rawa ngā pop-tarts i tētahi ata, mātakihia tō waiata tino pai i te pō roa, moe rānei i te rā katoa. Mena kāore ēnei tikanga e mau tonu, ka taea e koe te tuku i a koe anō ki ētahi rā tinihanga i a koe e ngana ana ki te wareware ki tētahi.

4. Hei wareware i tētahi i whara i a koe, ngana kia kaua e riri ki a rātou

Ahakoa te āhua o ngā mea i puta, ngā kupu mamae rānei i kōrerotia ki a koe, e kore rawa te riri e tukua kia whanake koe. Ahakoa ko wai i ārahi i te whanaungatanga, ko wai rānei i whakarērea. Hei tere te wareware i tētahi, me maka atu e koe ō kare ā-roto kino katoa. Tērā pea te āhua nei mā te whakatipu i te mauahara ka māmā ake te neke atu, engari ehara i te mea pērā.

Kāore koe e hiahia kia noho noa mai tētahi, ā rātou hapa rānei i roto i tō hinengaro me tō ngākau. E kī ana a Jaseena, "He mea here te murunga hara pono mai i te ngākau. Ina he patunga kino, ā, kāore he otinga, ka roa te wā mō te murunga hara tuturu. Engari kia mahara he mea tino nui tonu." Hei wehe pono i a koe i ngā aroha tawhito, me muru pono, me te āta whakaaro koe i a rātou mō ngā mea katoa i puta mai.

Mā te pupuri i te mauahara kore whakaaro ka whakatō noa i ngā purapura o te riri ki a rātou, ā, e kore e wareware koe ki tētahi i pakaru tō ngākau. Kia pono tātou, kei te ngana koe ki te wareware ki tētahi kāore e aroha mai ana ki a koe. Tērā pea ka pā kino te riri me te whakama ki a koe i tētahi rā pōuri. Ahakoa te uaua o te āhua, he mea tino nui ahakoa he... hoa tāne paitini hoa wahine rānei i whara i a koe.

5. Whakaharatauhia te muru i a koe anō i te tuatahi kia wareware ai koe ki tētahi i pakaru tō ngākau

Ko te tangata tuatahi me muru e koe i muri i taua mamae ko koe anō. E ai ki tētahi tuhinga i whakaputaina i roto i te Stanford Medicine, ko te aroha ki a koe anō ka arahi ki te oranga ngākau me te hinengaro pai ake, ki tētahi waiaro pai, me ngā whanaungatanga hauora ake. Mā tēnei mahi koe e āwhina ki te muru pono i te hara me te wareware i tētahi i pakaru ai koe. I muri i te murunga i a koe anō ka taea e koe te muru i te hara o ētahi atu.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakatau i ngā maharatanga o te aroha kua ngaro

Me pēhea te neke whakamua? Arotahi ki te whakaora

Āe, nau mai ki te wāhanga whakamutunga o te tukanga neke whakamua, arā, te whakaora i a koe anō. Whai muri i te wehe atu i a koe i ngā kare ā-roto kino me te tuku atu i aua kare ā-roto, ka taea e koe te ara ake i a koe anō me te tīmata ki te hanga anō i a koe anō. Ka puta te whakaora pono ina whakaae tātou ki ngā āhuatanga o waho, ā, ka tīmata ki te hanga huringa i roto i a tātou anō.

Me tahuri tō titiro ki roto ki ngā ururua ataahua, ka hanga pereki i muri i te pereki kia puta ai koe i te putanga tino whakamiharo o koe. Koinei te haerenga tino whakamīharo kua mahia e koe.

1. Whakaaetia e hiahia ana koe ki tēnei huringa

Ki te mea kei te akiaki koe i a koe anō kia wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, e kore rawa e taea e koe te mahi i te huarahi tika. Ka nui ake te pouri me te riri i roto i a koe anō, tae atu ki a koe anō. Ko tētahi o ngā mea tuatahi hei mahi hei wareware i tētahi e arohaina ana e koe i runga i te huarahi hauora, ko te whakaae ki te ao tūturu.

Kōrero ki a koe anō, me whakatenatena i a koe anō me mahi koe i tēnei. Me wareware koe ki te aroha o tōu ao, ā, kāore e rua ngā huarahi hei whakatutuki i tēnā. Ehara i te mea me kino ngā huringa katoa, ahakoa ka meinga pea koe kia rite ki te hinga o tō ao. I tae mai koe ki tēnei whakatau nā te mea e mōhio ana koe me pērā koe. Whakaaetia taua huringa kia neke atu ai i te mamae o te ngākau me te ataahua.

2. Kia auaha ki tō wā

Ka taea e koe te wareware rawa ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe? Tērā pea, kāore pea. Engari ki te tahuri tō wā me tō kaha ki a koe anō, ka taea e koe te neke whakamua me te hauora o tō hinengaro me tō kare ā-roto. Ko tētahi o ngā huarahi ka taea e koe te mahi i tēnā ko te whakakī i tō wā ki ngā mea e hari ai, e makona ai koe. Korikori tinana, peita, me te kaukau mirumiru mō te wā roa. Me mahi tetahi mea hei whakapai ake i tō wairua mōu anō.

Puritia te kaupapa mahi, ā, kia pukumahi ki ngā mea iti e arohaina ana e koe. Ko te mahi whakangahau hou, ko ētahi hoa hou, ko ngā whanaungatanga hou, me ngā wheako hou te huarahi pai ki te whakakī i te āputa i hangaia e te wehenga atu o tētahi i arohaina nuitia e koe. Ko te whakauru atu ki tētahi akomanga hurihuri, te tunu keke iti, te whakapau rānei i te wā ki te whakakakahu i te ata, ko ētahi atu mea ka taea e koe te whakamātau. Kia mōhio koe ki te hiranga o tō ake oranga hinengaro me tō oranga tinana, ā, kia whakapau kaha koe ki te tukanga whakaora, kāore e roa ka tae mai ngā rā paki. 

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3. Tuhia ngā kōrero mō ngā rā uaua ki te wareware i tētahi

Kāore koe e hiahia ki te tuhi i ia rā i roto i te puka rātaka mēnā kāore koe e hiahia. Engari i ngā rā e āhua kapi ana ngā pakitara i a koe, ā, me hiahia koe ki tētahi putanga mō ōu kare ā-roto, me tuhi e koe ngā mea katoa e pā ana ki a koe. I ētahi wā, ehara i te mea ngāwari te aro atu ki ō kare ā-roto, pērā i te haere tonu i tō oranga me te mea kāore he mea i tupu. He tukanga tēnei, ā, he wāhanga nui te whakaaroaro i roto i taua tukanga.

Ahakoa he hara, he ngoikore, he hiahia nui rānei ki te hoki ki aua mea – tuhia katoatia. Kōrerotia ki tō pukapuka rākau ō mea ngaro hohonu rawa atu, pōuri rawa atu i a koe e ngana ana ki te wareware i te aroha o tōu ao. He wāhi haumaru, kāore he tangata e whakahē i ō kare ā-roto. Mā te kitenga i ā mātou kōrero i runga i te pepa ka puta he tirohanga hou, he māramatanga hoki mō tō tātou ao. He mea nui kia pono rawa koe i a koe e tuhituhi ana i ngā mea ngaro. Mā te pono ki a koe anō ka pai ake tō mārama ki ō whanaungatanga.

4. Kai, inoi, aroha — Whakatakotoria he ara mō ngā mea pai

Ka taea e koe te wareware i tētahi e arohaina ponotia ana e koe? Mēnā i taea e Julia Roberts, ka taea hoki e koe. Te kiriata Kai, Tata, Aroha i whakaako mai i a mātou ka taea te whakangawari i ngā mea katoa mā te tango i tētahi wā whakatā mai i ō mahi o ia rā me ngā mahi o ia rā. E mōhio ana mātou he uaua ngā wehenga, ā, kāore e tino whai hua ngā whakaaro, inā koa ka ngana koe ki te wareware i tētahi e piripono ana ōu kare ā-roto.

I tēnei wā, ko ētahi o ngā huarahi pai ki te whakaora i a koe anō ko te hararei, he mahi mā ngā tāne/te po kotiro ki waho, he wā okiokinga mahi, he whakauru noa rānei ki tētahi akomanga yoga. Kāore tēnei wheako e hiahiatia kia hoki anō ki te kimi i te aroha pono. Ko ētahi wheako ka taea te kimi noa i te rangimārie me te harikoa. Nō reira, kia wareware rawa atu ai koe ki tētahi, me mahi i tētahi mea e pā ana ki a KOE anake.

5. Kia noho tahi me te hunga e aroha pono ana ki a koe

Mā ō hoa aroha koe e āwhina tonu kia mōhio ai koe ki tō uara, ā, mā rātou anō koe e whakapono kei reira ngā mea pai e tatari ana ki a koe. Nō reira, ina noho tahi koe me ō hoa, me tō whānau rānei, ka mōhio koe ki te nui o tō aroha. Mā tēnei koe e āwhina kia mārama he nui ngā mea pai e tika ana māu, kaua e tangi mō tētahi kāore e aro nui ana ki a koe, e aroha ana rānei ki a koe.

Ka māmā ake te wareware i tētahi e tino arohaina ana e koe ina he pūnaha tautoko kaha tāu hei whakawhirinaki atu. Kaua e whakaititia te whai huatanga o te hararei mutunga wiki me ō mātua, te pō whakangahau rānei me tō rōpū ina ngana ana koe ki te wareware wawe i tētahi. Ka taea e te manaaki me te aroha pono te mahi pērā i te rongoā makutu.

7. Whakahokia ōu kaha kia tere ai te wareware i tētahi

Whakaarohia, inu wai, kaua e hurihuri. Hangaia tēnei hei pepeha, hei whakairi rānei hei pānui i roto i tō rūma moe. He aha atu hei whakamahara tonu i a koe ko koe te tangata tino nui o tō ao. He maha ngā wā ka wareware tātou ki te aro ki ngā huarahi hohonu ake o te hono atu ki a tātou anō kia pai ake ai te oranga. Nō reira, waiho tēnei mamae o te ngākau hei take ki te kimi i a koe anō, me te kitea te harikoa i muri i te wehenga.

He mahi pai te whakaaroaro me te yoga hei whakatutuki i tēnā. Ahakoa te hikoi noa i te pāka me ētahi waiata wairua ka taea te āwhina i ētahi wā. Ina ngana tonu te tinana me te hinengaro ki te wareware i tētahi, ka anga katoa ō tātou kaha ki taua mea kotahi. Mā te whakahoki mai i a rātou i ētahi wā ka hoatu he marino me te māramatanga ki a koe ko wai koe.

8. Ka rongoatia e te wā ngā patunga katoa

Ko te wā te rongoā tino makutu mō ō mamae katoa. He pumau te aroha, engari he pumau anō hoki. te aro atu ki te mamae o te ngākau. Ka nui ake tō aro ki te tere o te neke whakamua, ka uaua haere. Engari, ngana ki te tuku. Whakawhirinaki ki te wā kia ara ake anō ai.

I ngā rā pōuriuri, me kī atu ki a koe anō, "Kua oti i ahau tēnei mahi i mua, ā, ka taea e au te mahi anō. He mea noa iho tēnei mō te wā. Mā te wā e whakatika ngā mea katoa." Ko te nui ake o tō whakapono ki tēnei, ko te pai ake o tō wairua. Me whakapau kaha anō hoki koe, engari ko te whakapono ka pahemo tēnei ka hoatu he whenua pumau ki a koe hei mahi tonu.

9. Mahia ngā mea hei aroha ki a koe anō!

Ko te whakakitenga nui rawa atu o te ao ko te ako kāore koe e hiahia ki te whakamana a tētahi atu mēnā he nui tō aroha ki a koe anō. Ko te aroha ki a koe anō ko te manaaki i a koe anō, te mārama ki ō whāinga, me te whakawhirinaki ki ō kare ā-roto. Kaua e tatari kia kitea, kia arohaina koe e te hoa e whai ake nei.

Kia pukumahi rawa koe ki te aroha ki a koe anō, ā, kāore koe e hiahia ki tētahi atu hei whakaora i a koe. Arotahi ki ngā mea e whakahihiko ana i a koe, pērā i tō mahi, tō whānau, ō hoa, ngā mahi pāpori rānei. Kawea ēnei mahi ki tētahi taumata e whai ake nei mā te whakangao i a koe ki roto, me te ako mōu ake i roto i taua tukanga. Mā wai e mōhio, ā tōna wā ka noho ko koe te tangata e whakahihiko ana i te tangata. Ko te neke whakamua ko te whakahoki mai i tō whakaaro ki a koe anō, me te whakatipu i a ia ki tētahi taumata e tino harikoa ai tō whanaungatanga ki a koe anō.

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10. He mea tino kore te whanaungatanga whakahoki mai mena kei te pirangi koe ki te neke atu

Ko te ārahi i tētahi atu ki te moe tāne, he huarahi ngāwari ki te wareware i te aroha o tō ao. Engari i roto i te ao tūturu, he huarahi tino kore angitu tēnei ki te muku i ngā maharatanga o tō hoa o mua i roto i tō hinengaro me tō ngākau. Kaua e whara i a koe anō me tētahi hoa hoki pea i roto i tō tukanga rapu huarahi hei neke atu. Kia tino whakarite kia whakaipoipo koe ina rite koe, ā, ka taea e koe te whakamanamana i tētahi momo pumau.

E kī ana a Jaseena, "He maha ngā take e uru ai te tangata ki tētahi whanaungatanga whakaora i muri i te wehenga. Tērā pea ka mahia e koe tēnei hei whakapataritari i tō hoa o mua, hei ngana rānei ki te wareware i a rātou. He mārama, he wā poto noa te hokinga mai, he wā okiokinga anō hoki. He wā poto noa iho tēnei e pai ai koe, engari ka kitea tō tinihanga i roto i te wā poto, i te wā roa rānei. Kia memeha haere ngā kare ā-roto, tērā pea ka mōhio koe kua he āu whakatau katoa.”

Me maumahara koe ka hoki mai anō te aroha, koia tonu tōna āhua. Engari kaua e pana atu i te aroha, me tuku e koe taua tukanga kia tīmata, ka waiho te hītori ki tōna wāhi tika. Kāore e taea te wareware rawa i tētahi, te wareware rānei i tētahi i tētahi ara e kore ai e puta ake anō ki roto i tō hinengaro. Engari ka taea te neke whakamua me te aroha anō ki a koe anō me tētahi atu.

Kua ngana mātou ki te whakatakoto i te mahere mō tō haerenga whakaora. Ki te kaha koe ki te whai i te tukanga katoa me te whakapono, ka kitea koe kei te tino pai tō āhua. Titiro mai, kotahi anake te mea pumau i roto i te ao, ko te huringa - e whanake ana i roto i te wā me te wāhi. I te mutunga, ka hipa katoa tātou i te mamae mamae, ā, i tētahi rā ka taea e tātou te... hinga i roto i te aroha anō. Ko te tumanako kua whakamarietia tō ngākau mamae e ā mātou whakaaro mō tētahi wā, ā, ka hua ake he pānga pai pumau.

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