Ngā Tohu kei te noho tahi koe me tētahi Hoa Whakahaere, me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi

Porohia te aroha

Mā te whai hoa whakahaere ka kino te whanaungatanga, ā, ka pātai pea koe he aha koe i roto i taua whanaungatanga. Ko tā rātou hiahia kia tika tonu, me te hiahia tonu kia haere tonu ngā mea i runga i tā rātou ake huarahi, ka whakaiti i tō hiranga, ka whakaiti hoki i a koe. Ehara i te mea he whakaute noa iho tēnā, engari kāore hoki i te tino pumau. Kāore rātou e whakahaere noa i ō mahi me ō whakatau ina tae mai ki ngā mea nui.

Mai i te whakatau ko tēhea te wāhi hei kai tina, tae atu ki te whakatau he aha ngā kākahu hei mau ki ngā pāti, ko te hiahia o te hoa rangatira ko ia te pokapū o te whakaaturanga, me te whakahaere i te whakaaturanga i te wā kotahi. Mena kei te pōuri koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, kei te whakaaro rānei koe kāore koe e rangona ana, me pātai koe ki a koe anō i tētahi pātai e tika ana: Kei a au tētahi hoa rangatira?

He aha te mea e pā ana ki te whakahaere i roto i ngā whanaungatanga?

Ripanga o Ihirangi

"Kāore au e pai mēnā ka kai tahi kōrua i te tina."

"Kei te tino hiahia koe ki te kai i tēnā?"

"Kāore au i te pai ki ō hoa noho, me neke atu pea kōrua i te wā e tata mai nei."

Ahakoa te āhua korekore o ēnei kōrero raruraru i te tirohanga tuatahi, ki te mau tonu, he tohu ēnei katoa o te whanonga whakahaere i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Ko ngā tohu o te tāne, te wahine rānei e whakahaere ana i roto i te marena ka rite ki tēnei: Ehara i te mea ka whakaaro noa rātou kei a rātou te whakatau whakamutunga i ngā mea katoa, engari ka whakakahore hoki rātou ki te mārama ki tō tirohanga. Ahakoa he mea iti noa iho pēnei i te mau i tētahi kākahu e pai ana ki a koe. Tērā pea ka kī atu tō hoa kia kakahuria e koe te mea i hokona mai e rātou i te wiki kua hipa.

Ahakoa ka kī atu koe he pai ake tēnei, he pai noa iho rānei ki a koe te mau i tāu ake i whiriwhiri ai i tēnei pō, kaua e menemene me te tuku noa, ka tohe tonu rātou kia whakarongo koe ki tā rātou e kī ana. He pito noa iho tēnei o te hukapapa. Tērā pea kāore anō tō hoa kia mōhio kei te whakahaere ia i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.

He aha ngā tohu o te hoa whakahaere?

Ā, he aha te tikanga o te whakahaere i roto i te whanaungatanga? I te tīmatanga, he uaua pea te kite i te āhua o te hoa whakahaere. Engari ki te maumahara koe ki ēnei tohutohu, tera pea ka tata atu koe ki te pono.

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1. Ka whakahē tonu tō hoa rangatira i a koe

Ahakoa te nui rawa o tō kata, te nui rawa o tō kai, te hunga rānei e tūtaki ana koe, ka whai rā te hoa rangatira ki te whakaatu i ēnei mea mōu me te reo kino. Ahakoa te nui o tō ngana ki te kī atu koinei tō āhua o roto, ā, kāore koe e hiahia ki te huri, e kore rātou e koa ki te whakaae ki a koe pērā i a koe.

Me te mea nei e hiahia ana rātou kia uru koe ki tētahi tauira e pai ana ki a rātou, ā, ka mahia e rātou ngā mea katoa kia pērā ai. Koia te take e ngāwari ai ki a rātou te kōrero i ngā kupu mamae ki a koe i roto i te whanaungatanga.

2. Te tūhura i tōu ao

Te titiro ki tō waea pūkoro i a koe e tuku karere ana, te pātai tonu ki a koe ko wai atu i te pāti i haere atu koe, te pātai tonu rānei mō tō hoa o mua — koinei tonu te āhua o te whanonga tino whakahaere i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. He tino uaua ki te hohou i te rongo ki ēnei tohu whanaungatanga whakahaere, ā, ka tīmata pea te ahua whakarihariha, te whakamomori rānei i muri i tētahi wā.

Me te mea kāore e taea e rātou te whakarērea ngā take whakawhirinaki ki a rātou , ā, e whakapono ana rātou i ngā wā katoa e haere atu ana koe, e mahi ana rānei i tētahi mea, ka tinihanga koe i a rātou, ka mahi rānei i tētahi mea tino hē.

3. Te āhua nei ka maumahara rātou ki ngā mea katoa

"Kei te whakahaere tōku hoa?" ka pātai pea koe. Pērā tonu mēnā kei te pupuri tonu rāua i tētahi kāri kaute mō ō hapa, ā, ka whakamahia e rāua hei patu i a koe i ngā wā katoa e wātea ana. Me te mea kua roa rāua e pupuri ana i te mauahara. Tērā pea kei te whawhai kōrua mō tētahi mea, engari ka kōrero anō tō hoa mō tētahi mea kāore e pā ana ki a kōrua, kua whakatauhia kētia i mua. Me te mea kua puritia, kua pehia hoki e rāua aua kare ā-roto, nā te mea kāore rāua i mārama ki a kōrua i taua pakanga tuatahi.

4. Ka ngana rātou ki te whakawehi i a koe i ētahi wā

"Kua hoha ahau ki tēnei, ā, kua tata ahau te whakarērea i a koe" he rerenga kōrero rānei e tino pārekareka ana ki ō rātou ngutu. Inaa, koinei tētahi o ngā tohu o tētahi hoa tāne/wahine/hoa rangatira e āhei ai koe te whakapono kei roto koe i tētahi hononga mutunga kore . Tērā pea ka mawehe atu rātou i a koe i ētahi wā hei whiu i a koe, hei whakaako rānei i a koe. Hei tauira, kāore rātou i pai ki tāu kōrero ki tā rātou hoa i te pāti inapo, ā, i whakaaro rātou kei te takaro koe ki a rātou.

Hei ako i a koe, tērā pea ka noho puku tō hoa i te rā katoa e whai ake nei, ka mutu rānei tana awhi i a kōrua e moe ana i te pō. Engari i te kōrero, i te tuku i a kōrua kia whakapāha, i te whakarongo rānei ki tō taha me te mārama ki tō tirohanga, ka hoki whakamuri atu rātou, ka whakawehi rānei i a koe.

Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi tangata whakahaere

E ono ngā mea nui o te oranga tangata e aro ana ki te oranga. Koinei te kaupapa: te tino mōhio, te kanorau, te tipu, te aroha (te hononga rānei), te hiranga, me te takoha. I roto i ēnei, ko te tino mōhio te mea tuatahi. He pai ake tā tātou whakarite mō tētahi āhuatanga e tino mōhio ana tātou, e aro atu ana hoki ki a ia. Ko te mana whakahaere he whakaaturanga noa iho o taua āhuatanga. Nā te mea e hiahia ana tātou ki te tino mōhio i ngā wā katoa, ka whakamahia e tātou te mana whakahaere i ngā mea katoa kia nui ake ai te tino mōhio i roto i te ao.

Ki te mea he mea tino mārama, ka nui ake te haumaru o te tangata. Ki te mea he mea tino haumaru, ka noho haumaru ake ngā mea katoa. Heoi, mā tēnei āhua ka tere te huri i tō hoa aroha hei hoa whakahaere. Ko ō rātou ake āwangawanga pea te take e pēnei ai tā rātou mahi. Whakaarohia tō hītori whakaipoipo, kua whakaipoipo koe i ngā wāhine, i ngā tāne rānei e āwangawanga ana?

He tangata whakahaere taku hoa tāne? Pātaitai

Ko te mea e kitea nuitia ana i roto i te hoa rangatira ko te manukanuka whānui mō te whakaaro o te aroha e whakaatuhia ana e rātou. Engari he manukanuka tūturu mō te aroha, he manukanuka rānei mō te noho mokemoke, mō te whakarērea, mō te kitenga i te tauira mātua e hokihoki ana (hei tauira, he whakarere, he wehenga rānei)? Ahakoa he aha ā rātou take, ehara i te mea tika kia noho koe i roto i te whanaungatanga rangatira.

Ka taea e te hoa rangatira te uru ki roto i tō puku, ā, ka tino pōrangi koe. Kua kite koe i ngā tohu tōmua o te tāne, te wahine rānei e whakahaere ana i a koe? Mena kua kite koe, he mea pai tēnā. Me ako wawe koe ki te whakahaere i a rātou i mua i te puta o ngā āhuatanga kino. Anei ētahi huarahi hei whakahaere i te hoa rangatira i ngā wāhanga tōmua o te whanonga:

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1. Noho marino, kaua e noho ārai i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga whakahaere

Mena he hoa rangatira tōu, ko te taputapu tino ngāwari ki te whakamahi ko te riri (i ētahi wā ka haere tahi me te whakahē). Ko te nuinga o ēnei tāngata e hiahia tonu ana ki te whakahaere i ngā mea iti me te whakahaere ko te hunga e whakaaro ana, e whakapono ana hoki kei te whakahaerehia rātou. Ko te hunga rānei e kore e haumaru mō te mea kāore ngā mea i raro i tō rātou mana whakahaere.

Kāore rātou i te māia, ā, kei te noho pūmau tonu rātou i te wā taitamariki, ā, me te mea kua pōuri rātou nā te mea kāore i a rātou te mana whakahaere i tētahi, i te āhuatanga rānei (tērā pea he mātua tukino, ahakoa tō tātou mōhio). Nō reira, ki te whakautu koe me te riri, me te tiaki rānei, e kore rawa rātou e kite i tō whakaaro, nā te mea i roto i te hinengaro ka nui ake tō rātou māia, ka nui ake hoki tō rātou kore whakamarie.

Nō reira, ka ngana rātou ki te whakamahi i te mana whakahaere nui ake mā te riri me te mana whakahaere ki a koe. Nō reira, kia mārama koe kāore tō rātou kōrero mō te mana whakahaere i tīmata i a koe, ā, kia noho marino, ahakoa te aha.

ngā tohu o te hoa whakahaere - kia marino — Kia marino i a koe e pā ana ki te whanonga whakahaere a tō hoa

2. Pātai atu ki tētahi hoa whakahaere he pātai tuwhera

Kaua e kī tika atu kei te whakahaere rātou, kei te whakahaere hoki i a rātou, engari pātai atu ki a rātou i ngā pātai penei: He aha te mea ka puta ina kore au e mahi i ētahi mea e hiahia ana koe kia mahia e au? He aha te mea ka puta ina kore au e mārama ki ō whakaaro, ina whakaaro rānei au he tika tētahi atu, ehara i a koe? He aha ō whakaaro?

Ko te nuinga o te hunga whakahaere kāore i te mōhio kei te whakahaere rātou. Ki a rātou, he tikanga noa iho tēnei hei whakatau i te raruraru. Ki te pōhēhē koe me pēhea te mahi ki tētahi tāne , wahine rānei e whakahaere ana i te raruraru, kōrero tika atu ki a rātou. Pātai atu ki a rātou he aha tā rātou wehi nui rawa atu mēnā kāore te tangata e mahi/e whanonga/e noho ana i runga i ō rātou hiahia, i te wā kāore te ao e neke i runga i tā rātou e hiahia ana. Mā te mahi mārire i tēnei ka āwhina i a rātou mā te whakamōhio i a rātou ki te pūtake o tō rātou raruraru. Kawea mai rātou ki te māramatanga, ā, whakaaturia ki a rātou te mea he āu mahi hē.

3. Whakatakotoria ngā rohe me ngā hua mō tō hoa whakahaere

Kia mōhio rātou ki ō rātou whanonga me te pūtake mai o aua whanonga, ā, ko te mea nui, ko tana pānga ki a koe, me kī atu ki a rātou he āhuatanga kāore e taea te whiriwhiri i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ki te mea kua kitea e koe he tohu o te whanaungatanga whakahaere, me whakamātau koe, me whakahaere te āhuatanga ki ō ringaringa ake. Kāore e taea e koe te noho noa me te tuku i a rātou kia mahi i tā rātou e pai ai. He ōrite kōrua i roto i tēnei whanaungatanga, ā, e tika ana kia whakautehia kōrua.

Hei tauira, kāore e taea e rātou te aukati i a koe kei haere tahi me ō hoa, kāore e taea e rātou te kī atu kia mau, kia kaua rānei e mau i ngā mea e pai ana, e kore rānei e pai, ā, kāore hoki e taea e rātou te kī atu me pēhea te whakapai ake i tō mahi. Ā, kia oti aua rohe hauora te whakatakoto, whakatūria hoki he hua kore whiu mō ā rātou mahi.

He maha ngā wā kāore te hoa rangatira e mōhio ana ki te wā e whakahaere ana rātou. He tukanga whakatau tēnei kua roa nei rātou e ora ana. Nō reira, koinei te āhua tūturu o ō rātou oranga. Kaua e tumanako ka huri wawe rātou, engari me kī atu ki a rātou ina whiti rātou i ngā āhuatanga kāore e taea te whiriwhiri, ka pā mai ngā hua kino ki a rātou.

4. Kia mōhio koe ki tō ake oranga

Tuhia māu ake, ahakoa te āhua o te whanaungatanga, te āhua rānei o te whakawhirinaki tahi o tētahi ki tētahi, ko te pokapū o tō harikoa me tō wairua me noho i roto i a koe, kaua i waho. Nō reira, tū ake i runga i ō waewae ake, me ngana kia iti ake te whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa rangatira. Engari kaua e waiho hei taonga mā ngā tohu o te hoa rangatira, me whai kia tū motuhake, me ako hoki ki te tiaki i a koe anō me te kī "kāo".

Ko te iti o tō whakawhirinaki ki a rātou, ko te iti hoki o tā rātou tono mai i a koe, tono mai i a koe, me te mea i a koe kia mahi i ngā mea kāore koe e hiahia ki te mahi. Kia tino mōhio koe ki tō hiahia, ā, ka taea e koe te whakamahi i tēnei i ngā wā katoa e hiahia ana koe. Whakaaturia ki a rātou kei te piripono rātou ki tētahi wahine /tāne motuhake. Whakaaturia ki a rātou he tino kaha koe ki te ora ko koe anake, ā, ki te hiahia rātou ki te whakarē i a koe, ka taea e rātou.

Kāore he herenga ki te whai, ahakoa tērā pea nā tō hoa i hanga te whakaaro pohehe nā te mea he maha ngā wā i mua, kua whakaae koe ki ā rāua tono. Engari ka mutu pea taua tauira i te wā ka mōhio koe ki tō hiahia herekore.

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5. Ki te kore tetahi mea e pai, hurihia te tūnga ki tētahi hoa whakahaere

I ētahi wā, he mea pai pea kia whakamātauria e rātou ā rātou ake rongoā. I ētahi wā, kāore pea e whai hua ngā rohe, ā, kāore pea e whai hua ngā hua – kaua e wareware. Hoki atu ki te kaupapa nama 1. Kimihia ō ake huarahi marino hei whakahaere i a rātou.

Whakamahia ngā whakahau, ngā tono, me ngā manaakitanga. Kimihia ngā mea kāore rātou e pai ana, ā, whakaaturia mārire atu ki a rātou e hiahia ana koe kia mahia taua mea. Ā, tirohia tā rātou tauhohenga. Ki te riri rātou, (engari kaua e ngaro tō marino) whakamaharatia rātou ki ā rātou whanonga.

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te manawanui ki tētahi hoa whakahaere. Ka taea e ia te whakaiti i tō tuakiri me tō mana motuhake. Ko te ako ki te whakamana i a koe anō te huarahi anake hei whakataurite i te papa tākaro. Ā, ki te kore e angitu, ko te wawe o tō wehenga atu i tēnei whanaungatanga kino, ko te pai ake mōu.

FAQs

1. He aha ngā tohu o tētahi hoa whakahaere?

Ki te ngana rātou ki te whakatau i ō whakaaro, he maha ā rātou whakahē ki ō whakaaro me te whakaiti, ā, ka riri ina kore ngā mea e tutuki i tā rātou e pai ai, he tohu ēnei o tētahi hoa whakahaere.

2. He aha te mea e āhei ai te hoa rangatira ki te whakahaere?

Tērā pea nā te whakatipuranga me ngā āputa i roto i te āhua o tō rātou whakatipuranga. Tērā pea he tino hae, he māharahara hoki rātou, ā, ka meinga rātou kia whakahaere.

3. He aha te take e kaha ai te mana o te hoa?

Ko ō rātou ake āwangawanga te tino take. Tērā pea kua tinihangatia rātou i mua, kua tinihangatia rānei i mua, ā, ka mataku, ka mataku hoki rātou.

4. He rangatira ia, he manaaki rānei?

"Kei te whakahaere taku hoa tāne i a koe?" he pātai kei roto i tana āhua e whakaaweawe ana i a koe. Ki te whakaaro koe he pai tana tohutohu i a koe nā te mea e aro ana ia, he pai tēnā. Engari ki te whakaaro koe he kaha ia ki te akiaki, ki te pukuriri, ki te kore e ngohengohe, he hoa tāne whakahaere pea ia.

5. Ka huri rānei te hoa whakahaere i tētahi wā?

Ae, ka taea e rātou. Ki te hauhake rātou i ngā hua o te tohutohu , ki te kimi i ngā mea e pā ana ki a rātou, ā, ki te mārama hoki ki ngā take e pēnei ai rātou — he pono ka pai ake rātou ā muri ake nei.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.