Chibwenzi Changa Adandiphunzitsa Momwe Ndingapitirizire Kale

Ubale ukhoza kukhala gawo lalikulu la moyo wanu. Mumayika nthawi yanu yonse, khama lanu, ndi chikondi chonse chomwe mungathe mwa munthu wina pamene mukuwona ubale wanu ukukula kukhala chinthu chachikulu - ukwati, ana, ndi tsogolo limodzi. Koma zonsezi zimagwa pansi pamene munthu winayo mwadzidzidzi wasokoneza zinthu.

Momwe mungapitirire kuchokera zakale? Kodi mungakhale bwino bwanji pambuyo pa kupwetekedwa mtima ndi kusokonezeka kwapakati pa chilekano? Mafunso awa akhoza kuzungulira m'mutu mwanu. Kusiya maubwenzi akale kumawoneka kosatheka, koma kwenikweni sichoncho. Kunja uko, pali chikondi kwa inu, pali anthu ndi mwayi, zomwe muyenera kuchita ndikutuluka mu chipolopolo chanu ndikukhala moyo wabwino kwambiri.

Momwe Mungadulire Zakale Ndi Kupitilira

Kumvetsetsa momwe mungaiwalire zakale ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pakuchira ku ululu wa kusweka mtima. Kubisa malingaliro anu ndi kusonyeza nkhope yolimba mtima sikutanthauza kupitirira. Kusiya maubwenzi akale kumatanthauza kudzipatsa nthawi yokonza kusweka, kupeza njira zothetsera kusweka mtima ndikupezanso wosangalala, weniweni.

Osataya mwayi woti mutha kupezanso chikondi. Ndipo mukapeza wina wapadera pambuyo posudzulana mwamphamvu, musamukankhire kutali. Ndilo phunziro lofunika kwambiri pophunzira momwe mungapitirire kuchokera m'mbuyomu.

Ndinayamba kukondana ndi mkazi wokongola kwambiri

Sindikhulupirira za karma kapena tsoka, koma zinthu zina zidachitika zotsutsana ndi chikhulupiriro changa patatha milungu ingapo nditatomera. Kunali koyambirira kwa 2015. Apa tinali - Sharon ndi ine, tikukondwera mu ulemerero wa kukhala pachibwenzi wina ndi mzake, kupita kunja kukawonera mafilimu, mapaki, ndi malo odyera, nthawi iliyonse yomwe timakonda.

Mabanja athu anali okondwa komanso osasokoneza, popeza munali kukhazikika kosagwedezeka mwa ife… mu umodzi wathu. Ine ndakhala mnyamata wakumwera kwa zaka makumi, ndipo iye anachokera ku West Coast. Ndinawerenga mabuku ofunika kwambiri, ndipo ankakonda kwambiri TV.

Tinasiyana pa zinthu zambiri - zakudya, mafilimu, nyimbo, ndi mafashoni. Ngakhale maubale athu akale anali a chikhalidwe chotsutsana kotheratu. Koma chinachake chinatigwirizanitsa. Ndinapeza kusiyana konseku kukhala kosangalatsa komanso kolimbikitsa, ngakhale tinkakangana. Inali nthawi yachisangalalo chodzaza ndi kukumana komanso zokambirana zomwe zidapitilira pa intaneti.

Nkhani yakumbuyo pang'ono

Kuyenda kosangalatsa kunagwedezeka tsiku lina: Pamene anapita kukakhala mongoyembekezera kunyumba yakale ya makolo ake m’dera linalake. Ndinadabwa kwambiri nditawerenga adiresiyo, chifukwa inali pafupi kwambiri ndi malo omwe ndimawawopa kwambiri - kumene kusweka mtima kwakukulu kwa moyo wanga kunachitika. Zinatsegula malo okhala ndi botolo lalitali mumtima mwanga omwe ndimafuna kuyiwala.

Chifukwa chiyani malowa kachiwiri, ndipo chifukwa chiyani ine?! Ndinali ndikuphunzira momwe ndingasinthire ndikupitilira, koma izi zinkawoneka ngati ndikubwezeredwa pambuyo pa kupita patsogolo komwe ndidapanga patatha zaka zambiri.

Kumapeto kwa Januwale 2010. Chikondi changa cha zaka zinayi ku koleji chinali chitayamba kale kuipiraipira kwambiri. Madzi ambiri anali atadutsa pansi pa mlatho, koma chikondi cha ku koleji chomwe chinali chodzaza ndi matope, chodzaza ndi mahomoni chinali chitalowa m'madzi ovuta, chinatsika, ndipo chinasiya kwathunthu, kuyembekezera kutha. Unali mkhalidwe wa 'munthu woyenera nthawi yolakwika'.

Ndingonena kuti tinakangana, ndipo mabanja athu analowerera. Iye, momveka bwino ndi malingaliro okaphunzira kunja, adatenga mbali ya abambo ake mosafuna. Bambo ake anali okonzeka kutiletsa kukumana, chifukwa chosagwirizana.

Maganizo anga anafika poipa

Zonse zinatha usiku wina pamene mkangano woipa pakati pathu unathetsedwa kunyumba kwake, ine ndikulira mkati mwa taxi, mlongo wanga pambali panga ndi makolo anga anasonkhana pamodzi m’chipinda chawo cham’mwamba kuonetsetsa kuti pali kusiyana kotheratu pakati pa ife awiri. Zimene zinachitika zinali zaka ziwiri za kuvutika maganizo kwambiri.

Ndinali ndi malingaliro oipa kwa masiku angapo odzipha, ndikuyenda kupita ku sitima yothamanga, koma ndinatsika njanji pamphindi yomaliza, mtima wanga ukugunda. Chinachake chinandiuza kuti kutsogolo kuli moyo ndipo sindine woyenera kuzunzika kumeneku ndipo ndinayenera kudzikweza ndekha.

Dokotala wa zamaganizo adapereka Prozac. Wina adalemba Zoloft. Inenso ndinakana kutenga. Mlangizi wina wa zamaganizo anandifunsa kuti nditseke maso anga, ndipo anati, “Tangoganizani…

Ndinayesa kusinkhasinkha, koma sizinathandize. Zinkawoneka ngati moyo sunali wokhoza kuthetsedwa ndipo sindikanatha kudziwombola ndekha ku tchimo langa kapena chisoni changa. Nthawi zina ndinkafuna kubwezera. Nthawi zina ndinkapempha kuti andikhululukire. Ndiye panali nthawi zina, ndimangolakalaka makina anthawi abwerere ndikukhazikitsa zonse bwino. Sindinadziwe momwe ndingasiyire zibwenzi zakale.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira Zothandiza Zothanirana ndi Kuvutika Maganizo - Gulu Lathu la Akatswiri Ochiritsa Amakuuzani

Ndinavomera kukwatiwa

Kukhala wauzimu sikunathandize. Ndinapeza kuti uphunguwo unali wovuta, wosatheka, wofanana ndi bizinesi, kapena wonyansa. Kuyenda kunathandiza. Anzake anathandiza. Kulemba kunathandiza. Inali mchitidwe wa zaka zisanu mmene ndinakhoza kugonjetsa kupsinjika maganizo, ndipo pomalizira pake, ndinadzipeza kukhala wokonzekera unansi watsopano.

Tinalumikizana pa intaneti ndipo posakhalitsa tinayamba kulankhula pafoni. Tinkagwirizana pazokambirana, za chilichonse kuchokera ku makanema apawailesi yakanema kupita kumalo oyendera. Pomalizira pake tinakumana ku Chicago kumene ndinamuchezera, atavala zovala zinayi zosanjikizana ndipo ndinali kumvabe chisoni.

Ndimakumbukira titagundana nkhonya ndi kumwetulira kokhutira pamene sitima yanga inatuluka papulatifomu ya njanji ya Chicago, pamene makolo ake ndi mchimwene wake anaima chapatali, akumwetulira. Kutentha kunafalikira pamtima wanga wonse pamene ndinachoka.

Pambuyo pa chinkhoswe, iye anakhala ndi ine. Tinali ndi nthawi yokomana, ndikuyankhulana wina ndi mzake. Ndinamupeza kukhala wosangalatsa - wachibwana komanso wokhwima, zonse nthawi imodzi. Mwina chifukwa anali mwana wophunzitsidwa bwino m'zaka zake za ku Chicago komanso wophunzira wodziimira yekha ndi agogo ake aakazi ku Texas zaka zisanu zonse za koleji.

Ngakhale kuti pakati pa nkhokwe yake, chikhalidwe chaubwana chinali chokondweretsa, kukhwima kwake kunja ndi momwe amachitira moyo zinali zolimbikitsa. Nthawi zonse ankadziwa kukhala munthu wokhwima pankhondo. Ndidagwa mchikondi. Nayenso anatero. Ndinali nditaphunzira kale momwe ndingapitire patsogolo.

Zonse zinabwerera kwa ine

Kotero, apa ndinali, mu 2015, nditangokwatirana kumene. Ndinali ndi ululu wopweteka mu mtima mwanga pamene ndinkakwera mumsewu patapita zaka zisanu - msewu womwewo umene ndinayang'anizana ndi kusweka mtima kwakukulu kwa moyo wanga, ndi achibale anga pambali panga.

Tsopano, ine ndinamva ngati ndimuuze iye zonse za izo tisanamanga mfundo. Tinapita ku bwalo, ndipo tinakhala pansi, pansi pa mwezi. Ndinamuuza zonse za m'mbuyomu: zodandaula, zolakwa, kukhumudwa, ndi kuyambiranso, nkhani yonse. Ndinamuuza zonse za zovuta zanga posiya maubwenzi akale, makamaka otsiriza.

Anapitiriza kumvetsera moleza mtima, ndipo anangonena kuti: “Eya! Mawu awa okha, a nkhope ya poker. Ndiyeno patapita kanthawi, tsinya - chifukwa chiyani kukangana kwambiri!

Ndinagwedezeka. Ndinazindikira kupusa komwe ndiyenera kuti ndinamveka ndikamalankhula za moyo wanga wakale ngati kuti zonse zachitika m'mawa uno. Ndinamvetsetsa zomwe zimafunika kuti ndiyike zakale momwe ziyenera kukhalira: m'mabuku a mbiri yakale. Ndinazindikira kuti kudana ndi lingaliro lochezera anthu oyandikana nawo, ngakhale kuti ndi anthu, kunali kupusa.

Kuyambira usiku umenewo, tinalankhula kwambiri kuposa kale lonse, za zinthu zina zambiri. Ndinali ndi kumverera kwamphamvu kumeneku mu mtima mwanga usiku womwewo kuti anali wa ine. Kugunda kwa nkhonya pa siteshoni ya njanji kunali koyambitsa. Zomwe adachita pazaka zam'mbuyomu ndizomwe zidanditsimikizira.

Tsiku lililonse ndimaphunzira zatsopano kuchokera kwa iye. Tsiku limenelo anandiphunzitsa kuti ndisiye kuganizira kwambiri za moyo wanga ndikuyamba kuchita zinthu mogwirizana ndi zimene ndikufuna. Anandiphunzitsa kuti chimwemwe changa chili m’manja mwanga. Ine ndekha ndingathe kulamulira moyo wanga.

Ibibazo

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.