15 Zizindikiro Mubwererana Ndi Ex Anu

Kusweka kumatha kuwoneka ngati kutha kwa dziko, koma nthawi zina kumangokhala batani lopumira, kulola mpata wolingalira ndikukula. Koma chiyembekezo chakuyanjanitsidwachi chingakulepheretseni kudzifunsa kuti, “Kodi wakale wanga adzabweranso?” kukulepheretsani kupita patsogolo. Tikukulangizani kuti muyang'ane zizindikiro zowoneka kuti mubwererane kuti muwone ngati muyenera kudikirira chigamba kapena kupitilira. 

Kuti timvetsetse bwino za mutuwu, tidalankhula ndi dokotala wamisala waku California komanso katswiri wodziwa zamakhalidwe, Dr. Shefali Batra (MD in psychiatry), yemwe amagwira ntchito yopereka upangiri wa kupatukana ndi kusudzulana, kutha kwa chibwenzi ndi chibwenzi, komanso zovuta zofananira musanalowe m'banja. Tiyeni tifufuze zizindikiro izi ndi momwe tingasinthire kukhala masitepe otheka kuti tipeze mwayi wachiwiri pa chikondi.

15 Zizindikiro Mubwererana Ndi Ex Anu

Kodi mudasiyana posachedwapa koma simungasiye kuganiza ngati pali bizinesi yomwe sinamalize? Ndizofala kufunsa mafunso ngati "Chifukwa chiyani ndikumva kuti abweranso?" kapena “Kodi adzabweranso?” kuchedwetsa pambuyo pakutha. Ngati mukuzindikira zikuwonetsa kuti wakale wanu wayambanso chidwi kapena kukumbukira nthawi zabwino, zingatanthauze kuti chitseko sichinatsekedwe. Kuyambira pakuthamangitsana mosayembekezereka kupita kukuyimbirana kwapakati pausiku, zizindikiro zoti mubwererana nthawi zambiri zimawonekera pang'ono koma zomveka. Tiyeni tisinthire izi ndikuwona ngati nkhani yanu ndi wakale wanu "iyenera kupitiliza."

1. “Mwangozi” mukuthamangitsana wina ndi mzake

"Zochitika mwangozi" izi sizingakhale zongochitika mwangozi koma chimodzi mwazizindikiro zomwe wakale wanu ayambanso kuchita chidwi. Kaya ndikukumana nawo kumalo ogulitsira khofi wamba kapena kuwawona pamisonkhano ya anzawo, kukumana kumeneku nthawi zambiri kumawonetsa chidwi. Ngati inu kapena iwo mochenjera orchestrating misonkhano imeneyi, ndi chizindikiro champhamvu wanu wakale adzakupatsani inu mwayi wina. Zimapereka chikhumbo chosaneneka chofuna kukhalabe m'njira ya wina ndi mzake, kusonyeza zimenezo kubwerera pamodzi kupatukana kungakhale kosatheka.

2. Akadali ndi mawu achinsinsi anu a Netflix

Dr. Batra ananena kuti: “Izi si nkhani yongokuthandizani ayi, koma akadalowabe muakaunti yanu, amangogwiritsa ntchito intaneti, ngakhale zitakhala zazing’ono.” Angagwiritsenso ntchito izi ngati chowiringula chofikira ("Hei, kodi munawonera pulogalamu yatsopanoyi?"). Zikhalidwe zing'onozing'ono zogawana ngati izi zitha kuwonetsa zizindikiro zomwe wakale wanu angakupatseni mwayi wina, pamene akuvutikira Zilekeni za mgwirizano wonse.

3. Meme iliyonse imakukumbutsani za iwo

Kuwatumizira ma meme kapena nthabwala zomwe zimakukumbutsani za ubale wanu ndi njira yotsika kwambiri yolumikizirana. Ngati achita nawo chidwi, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoseketsa kuti mubwererana. Limodzi mwamayankho chifukwa chake ma ex amabwerera ndikukhala ndi nthabwala zogawana. Zimapanga mgwirizano womwe nthawi zambiri umapulumuka pakatha, kutsegulira njira ya magawo kulumikizana ndi ex. Yang'anirani ngati akubwezerani khama lanu kuti kulumikizana kukhale kwamoyo.

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4. Anzanu akufunafuna chigamba

Anzanu akamaona kuti mumalankhulabe zambiri za wakale wanu, nthawi zambiri zimakhala chizindikiro chakuti simunakonzekere. Zochita zawo zingasonyezenso kuti amakhulupirira kuti mumagwirizana. Ngati akuyambitsa kuyanjananso kwanu, kapena ngati akuwonetsa kulumikiza ndi munthu wakale si maganizo oipa, ndi bwino kupendanso maganizo anu ndi ngati kuyanjanitsa ndi chimene inu mukufunadi.

5. Akuyankha nkhani zanu za Instagram

Ngati ex wanu akugwira ntchito ndi wanu chikhalidwe TV, Mwachitsanzo:

• Kukonda zolemba
• Kuyankha nkhani
• kapena kusiya ma emojis

Ndi chizindikiro chamakono wakale wanu wayambanso chidwi. Zochita zazing'onozi zingawoneke ngati zopanda pake, koma nthawi zambiri zimasonyeza kuyesetsa kukhalabe ogwirizana. Zindikirani ngati machitidwe awo amapitilira zomwe amakonda, monga kuyankha pazamunthu, zomwe zingasonyeze kuti akuyesa madzi kuti ayanjanenso.

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6. Nonse “mukupeza kutsekedwa” kudzera pa mafoni apakati usiku

Kukambirana kosalekeza kwapakati pausiku, makamaka za ubale wanu, kungakhale chizindikiro chachikulu cha malingaliro osathetsedwa. Ngati zokambilanazi zili zokhuza kubwerezanso zokumbukira zabwino kuposa kutseka, ndichizindikiro champhamvu kuti wakale wanu akupatsani mwayi wina. Kukhala pachiwopsezo chausiku nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa chowonadi, kumapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kugwirizananso m'malingaliro komanso kuganizira zogonana ndi munthu wakale ngati gawo loyamba lofikira. kumanganso ubale.

A Reddit wosuta "Ine ndi mlendo wanga tinabwereranso. Pamodzi kwa chaka chimodzi ndipo sitinayambe ndewu zenizeni koma patatha milungu ingapo iye adatalikirana ndikundigwetsera bomba ponena kuti ali ndi zambiri zomwe zikuchitika ndipo ayenera kudzipeza yekha. Tinkalumikizana pang'onopang'ono, zinali zogwirizana kuti tizingotumizirana mameseji mwachisawawa. Koma malembawo nthawi zonse amamupweteka kwambiri."

7. Jekete lawo likadali kuvala kwanu kotonthoza

Kusunga katundu wawo, makamaka zinthu zomwe mumagwiritsa ntchito nthawi zonse, kumasonyeza kukana pitilirani. Kugwirizana kwamalingaliro kumeneku kumagwira ntchito zonse ziwiri. Ngati sanapemphe zinthu zawo—kapena ngati anasunga zina zanu—ndi chizindikiro kuti mubwererana. Zinthu nthawi zambiri zimakhala zachifundo, zomwe zimakhala zikumbutso za ubale womwe mudagawana nawo.

8. Amakutumizirani mameseji chinthu choyamba pakachitika zoseketsa

Dr. Batra anati: “Ngati mwamuna wanu wakale amakonda kucheza naye nthawi zonse zoseketsa kapena zosangalatsa, zimasonyeza kuti amayamikirabe kugwirizana kwanu.” Khalidweli likuwonetsa kuti mukhalabe munthu wokonda kukuthandizani, chizindikiro chachikulu chomwe ex wanu angakupatseni mwayi wina. Kuyankhulana kotereku kumasonyeza kuti amakukhulupirirabe komanso amasamala za maganizo anu, ngakhale mutasiyana.

9. Mwayambanso kugwiritsa ntchito “ife”

Kunena zokumbukira zakale ndi "ife" osati "Ine" zikuwonetsa kuti malingaliro anu sanasinthe ndikudziwona kuti ndinu osiyana nawo. Izi zitha kuwonetsa kulumikizidwa kwakanthawi. Ngati malingaliro ngati, "Chifukwa chiyani ndili ndi kumverera adzabweranso?” zikutulukira, zikhoza kukhala chifukwa mudamva wanu wakale ntchito "ife" pamene reminiscing, ndipo anatola pa izo subconsciously.

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10. Amayi awo amakuitanabe

Banja lawo likamalumikizana, ndi chizindikiro cha kuvomerezedwa ndi bizinesi yosamalizidwa. Zimasonyeza kuti munali wofunika ku moyo wawo kuposa chabe chibwenzi. Ngati amayi awo amangotchula mwamuna wanu wakale panthawiyi, ndi chizindikiro chachilendo kuti wakale wanu akuyambanso chidwi kapena kuti banja likufuna kuyanjananso.

11. Ndewu zanu ndi za "m'tsogolo" tsopano

Kukangana zamtsogolo m'malo molakwitsa zakale kukuwonetsa kuti chiyembekezo ndikukonzekera kuchitika mosazindikira. Kulimbana uku kungakhale kwa:

• Zosankha zanu zantchito
• Chikondi chanu chimakhala
• Kapena mophweka, mapulani a hangout

Kukambitsirana kwamtsogoloku ndizizindikiro zoonekeratu kuti wakale wanu akupatsani mwayi wina, chifukwa akuwonetsa malingaliro osathetsedwa komanso kuganizirana poyambitsanso chibwenzi.

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12. Nonse ndinu “otanganidwa kwambiri moti simungakhale ndi chibwenzi”

Ngati palibe aliyense wa inu amene akuwona anthu ena, ndi chizindikiro chakuti simukupezeka kwa wina aliyense. Kupatula kosadziwika uku ndi chimodzi mwazinthu mitundu yosweka yomwe imabwererana, mosonkhezeredwa ndi chikhulupiriro chenicheni chakuti chitseko sichinatsekedwe kotheratu. Chifukwa chake, ngati malo awo ochezera a pa Intaneti ali ndi mawu okhudza "kukumbatirana kukhala wosakwatiwa" kapena "kudzipatula ndekha", zitha kukhala chizindikiro chabwino kuti zinthu zikhala bwino.

13. Anzawo amakondabe zolemba zanu

Anzawo akamacheza ndi malo anu ochezera a pa Intaneti, zimasonyeza zinthu ziwiri:

• Amakuonabe bwino, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti palibe malingaliro oyipa omwe alipo kuchokera kumbali ya wakale wanu
• Anzanu akukulimbikitsanibe ngati banja

Thandizo losalunjikali nthawi zambiri limawonetsa malingaliro a wakale wanu, kupangitsa kukhala chizindikiro chomveka chomwe ex wanu angakupatseni mwayi wina.

14. Amakumbukira zokonda zanu 

Chifukwa chiyani ma exes amabwerera, akuwonetsa ndi zokhwasula-khwasula kapena oda khofi? Dr. Batra anati: “Ndikuyesa mosadukizadukiza kuti mugwirizane maganizo. Manja awa amatha kuwoneka motere:

• Kugawana nyimbo yomwe mungakonde
• Kutumiza chakudya chomwe mumakonda
• Kukutumizirani ma meme omwe amafanana ndi nthabwala zanu

15. Rom-com iliyonse imakukumbutsani

Ngati mafilimu ndi nkhani zachikondi zimakupangitsani kuganizira za wakale wanu, ndi chizindikiro chakuti simunakonzekere. Chidziwitso chanu ndi chimodzi mwazomwe zimayambira pakulumikizananso ndi munthu wakale, ndikuwunikira chiyembekezo chokhala ndi mathero osangalatsa.

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Kotero, mwathetsa 'Kodi ndibwererenso ndi wakale wanga?' debacle ndipo adaganiza zopatsanso mwayi wina. Tsopano chovuta chotsatira ndikulingalira momwe mungagonjetsere wakale pambuyo pakutha. Kuyanjanitsa sikutanthauza kubwereza zolakwa zakale, koma kumanganso mwamphamvu, ubale wathanzi. Musanadumphe, tengani njira yoganizira. Ganizirani zochita zanu, nthawi, ndi zolinga zanu kuti mupewe zovuta zakale. Kaya ndi kukula kwaumwini, kulankhulana moona mtima, kapena kulemekeza malire, malangizowa angakuthandizeni kuthana ndi kukayikira komwe kumakhalapo monga ngati angabwerere kapena adzabweranso osakumananso ndikupita patsogolo mwanzeru.

1. Tengani udindo

Musanayese kuyanjananso, ganizirani zimene munachita kuti banja lanu lithe. Zinali chifukwa cha kusamvana, kunyalanyazidwa, kapena nkhani zaumwini zomwe sizinathetsedwe? Ngati munayambitsa mavutowo, vomerezani moona mtima zolakwa zanu. 

• Mwachitsanzo, m’malo monena momveka bwino kuti “Pepani ngati ndakukhumudwitsani,” fotokozani chisoni chenicheni monga chakuti, “Ndimanong’oneza bondo chifukwa chopanda kukuthandizani pamene munandifuna.” 
• Ngati simuli bwino kupepesa, lembani zolakwa zomwe munapanga paubwenzi wanu ndipo yesetsani kunena kupepesa koona.

Dr. Batra anati: “Kuyankha mlandu kumasonyeza kukula ndi kukhwima maganizo, kumatsimikizira mwamuna wanu wakaleyo kuti ndinu wokonzeka kukhala ndi chibwenzi cholimba.” Popanda kuchita zimenezi, zolakwa zakale zimatha kubwerezedwa, kusokoneza mwayi uliwonse wobwererana mukatha kutha.

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2. Nthawi yoyenera

Nthawi ndi chilichonse mukamadzifunsa momwe mungabwererenso ndi ex. Ngati angokumana ndi tsiku lovuta kapena ayamba kuwona wina watsopano, kufikila kungawoneke ngati wosaona mtima kapena wosimidwa. Mofananamo, kuthamangira mwamsanga chisudzulo chingawalepheretse. Dr. Batra analangiza kuti: “Samalani ndi mmene akumvera mumtima mwawo.

• Yang'anani pa malo awo ochezera a pa Intaneti kapena zochitika zawo wamba kuti muwone ngati ali okonzeka kukhudzidwa
• Sankhani nthawi yopanda ndale, ngati masana a sabata, kuti mulumikizanenso

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3. Dzikonzeni nokha

Ngati kusudzulanako kukuwonetsa zophophonya zaumwini, yang'anani pa kudzikonza nokha musanadzifunse kuti, "Kodi wakale wanga adzabweranso?". Kodi ulesi wanu kapena kusafuna kutchuka kunayambitsa mikangano? Kodi kusatetezeka komwe sikunathetsedwe kunawononga ubale? Gwiritsani ntchito nthawiyi kuti mukonzekere nokha-kaya ndi izi:

• Kukhala ndi zizolowezi zabwino
• Kutsata zolinga zanu
• Kapena kulankhula katundu wamalingaliro

Ngati mukuganiza, "Kodi ex wanga adzabweranso?" kusonyeza kukula kungayambitsenso chidwi cha wakale wanu. Mwachibadwa anthu amakopeka ndi amene amatsogolera miyoyo yawo. Gawani zomwe mukuchita mobisa, monga kutumiza zomwe mumakonda, zomwe mwachita bwino pamasewera olimbitsa thupi, kapena zaukadaulo pazama TV.

4. Khalani oseketsa, osati okakamira

Kuseketsa kumatha kuthetsa kukhumudwa ndikumanganso ubwenzi wapamtima. Dr. Batra anati: “Nthabwala yokonzedwa bwino kapena mawu opepuka angakukumbutseni wakale wanu za nthawi zosangalatsa zomwe munali nazo. M'malo mwake, gwiritsani ntchito nthabwala mwanzeru kuti mupange mayanjano abwino ndikuchepetsa malingaliro, ndikutsegulira njira yolankhulana momasuka.

• Mwachitsanzo, yang'ananinso nthabwala zomwe munagawana kapena kukumbukira moseketsa mu meseji, monga, "Mukukumbukira pomwe tidayesa kupanga zikondamoyo ndipo zidagwa m'khitchini?"

5. Lankhulani momveka bwino

Mauthenga osamveka ngati "wyd?" kapena “muli bwanji?” sizingathetse pamene mukuyesera kukonza ubale. Yankhani zolinga zanu ndi malingaliro anu mwachindunji. Adziwitseni kuti mwakhala mukuganizira za kupatukana kwanu ndipo mukukhulupirira kuti pali kuthekera kolumikizana mwamphamvu. Dr. Batra akuti, “Kumveka amasonyeza ulemu ndi kukhwima, zomwe ndi nsonga yofunika kwambiri mmene kupambana kubwerera wakale. Khalani oona mtima, komanso lolani kuti maganizo awo aonekere mwachibadwa.”

• Mwachitsanzo, tumizani uthenga wonga, “Ndakhala ndikuganiza zambiri za ife ndipo ndikudzifunsa ngati mungakhale omasuka kukambirana za pamene ife tiri.”

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6. Onetsani, Osanena

Popereka malangizo okhudza mmene mungayambirenso kubwererana ndi munthu wakale wakale, Dr. Batra analangiza kuti: “Kuuza wakale wanu wakale kuti mwasintha sikokwanira—zochita zanu ziyenera kutsimikizira zimenezo. 

• Mwachitsanzo, ngati mumagwiritsa ntchito mapulani nthawi zambiri, onetsetsani kuti mumasunga nthawi komanso odalirika pamachitidwe anu
• Konzani zokayenda wamba ndipo tsatirani mwachidwi kusonyeza kudalirika kwanu ndi kudzipereka kwanu

Kutsimikizira kukula kwanu kudzera muzosintha zowoneka bwino kumapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kwa wakale wanu kukhulupirira zolinga zanu.

7. Lemekezani malo awo

Mutha kukhala ndi chidwi ndi funso lakuti "Kodi abweranso?" koma kuchulutsa ex wanu si njira yoyenera yodziwira. Malemba osasintha kapena kuyimba foni kumatha kuwakankhira kutali, kuwapangitsa kumva kuti akukakamizidwa kapena kutsekeredwa pakona. M'malo mwake:

• Apatseni nthawi yoti asinthe malingaliro awo kwinaku akuwakumbutsa mochenjera za kukhalapo kwanu
• Chepetsani kulankhulana kwanu kamodzi kapena kawiri pa sabata poyambira, kuwapatsa mpata woti aganizire pomwe mukulumikizana pafupipafupi

Kusowa munthu nthawi zambiri kumafuna kusakhalapo pang'ono. Kulemekeza malire awo kumapanga a wathanzi zazikulu ndikuwonetsa kukhwima maganizo.

Maganizo Final

Kukumananso ndi munthu wakale kungakhale ulendo wopindulitsa ngati wafikiridwa bwino. Pokhala ndi udindo, kuyika nthawi yofikirako mwanzeru, kuyang'ana pa kudzitukumula, ndikulankhulana momveka bwino, mutha kumanganso chidaliro ndi kulumikizana. Khama losasunthika koma losasunthika monga nthabwala, kusintha kochirikizidwa, komanso kulemekeza malo awo kumatha kuthana ndi kukayikira ngati wakale wanga adzabweranso kapena adzabweranso. Kumbukirani, kubwererananso pambuyo pa kutha kumafuna kuleza mtima ndi kufunitsitsa kwa onse awiri. Musanalowe m'madzi, dzifunseni kuti ndikubwereranso ndi lingaliro labwino - ndipo pitirirani ngati yankho liri lolimba mtima inde.

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