15 Zizindikiro Mubwererana Ndi Ex Anu

Kusweka kumatha kuwoneka ngati kutha kwa dziko, koma nthawi zina kumangokhala batani lopumira, kulola mpata wolingalira ndikukula. Koma chiyembekezo chakuyanjanitsidwachi chingakulepheretseni kudzifunsa kuti, “Kodi wakale wanga adzabweranso?” kukulepheretsani kupita patsogolo. Tikukulangizani kuti muyang'ane zizindikiro zowoneka kuti mubwererane kuti muwone ngati muyenera kudikirira chigamba kapena kupitilira. 

Kuti tipeze chidziwitso cha akatswiri pankhaniyi, tidalankhula ndi dokotala wa matenda amisala komanso katswiri wa zamaganizo wochokera ku California, Dr. Shefali Batra (MD wa matenda amisala), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wokhudza kulekana ndi kusudzulana, kusudzulana ndi chibwenzi, komanso nkhani zokhudzana ndi kuyanjana kwa anthu asanakwatirane. Tiyeni tifufuze zizindikiro izi ndi momwe tingazisinthire kukhala njira zothanirana ndi mwayi wachiwiri wachikondi.

15 Zizindikiro Mubwererana Ndi Ex Anu

Kodi mwathetsa chibwenzi posachedwapa koma simungasiye kuganiza ngati pali nkhani ina yomwe simunamalize? Nthawi zambiri mafunso monga “N’chifukwa chiyani ndikumva kuti adzabweranso?” kapena “Kodi adzabweranso?” amakhalapo pambuyo pa kutha kwa chibwenzi. Ngati mukuona zizindikiro zoti wakale wanu akuyambiranso kukondana kapena mukudziona mukukumbukira nthawi zosangalatsa, zingatanthauze kuti chitseko sichinatsekedwe bwino. Kuyambira kulepherana kosayembekezereka mpaka kuyitana kodziwika bwino usiku, zizindikiro zoti mudzabwererana nthawi zambiri zimaonekera m’njira zazing’ono koma zofotokozera. Tiyeni tidziwe zizindikiro izi ndikuona ngati nkhani yanu ndi wakale wanu “iyenera kupitilizidwa.”

1. “Mwangozi” mukuthamangitsana wina ndi mzake

"Zochitika mwangozi" izi sizingakhale zochitika mwangozi koma chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zakuti wakale wanu wayambanso kukondana. Kaya ndikukumana nawo ku shopu yawo ya khofi kapena kuwaona pa phwando la anzanu, nthawi zambiri kukumana kumeneku kumasonyeza kuti mukufunitsitsana. Ngati inu kapena iwowo mukukonza misonkhanoyi mwachinsinsi, ndi chizindikiro champhamvu chakuti wakale wanu adzakupatsani mwayi wina. Zimasonyeza kuti mukufuna kukhalabe mumkhalidwe wabwino, zomwe zikusonyeza kuti kubwererananso mutapatukana sikungakhale kovuta.

2. Akadali ndi mawu achinsinsi anu a Netflix

Dr. Batra akuti, “Izi sizongokhudza kuphweka kokha. Ngati akadali kulowa mu akaunti yanu, akupitirizabe kulumikizana—ngakhale ngati zikuwoneka zazing'ono.” Angagwiritsenso ntchito izi ngati chifukwa chofikira (“Hei, kodi munaonera pulogalamu yatsopanoyo?”). Zizolowezi zazing'ono zofanana ngati izi zingasonyeze kuti wakale wanu adzakupatsani mwayi wina, chifukwa akuvutika kusiya chibwenzicho kwathunthu.

3. Meme iliyonse imakukumbutsani za iwo

Kuwatumizira ma meme kapena nthabwala zomwe zimakukumbutsani za ubale wanu ndi njira yosavuta yolumikizirana. Ngati akuchita zinthu mosangalala, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoseketsa kwambiri kuti mudzabwererana. Limodzi mwa mayankho a chifukwa chake akale amabwererana ndikukhala ndi nthabwala zofanana. Zimapanga ubale womwe nthawi zambiri umapulumuka kutha kwa ubale, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti mulumikizanenso ndi wakale . Yang'anirani ngati akubwezerani zomwe mukuyesetsa kuti ubale wanu ukhalebe wolimba.

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4. Anzanu akufunafuna chigamba

Anzanu akamaona kuti mukulankhulabe za wakale wanu, nthawi zambiri zimakhala chizindikiro chakuti simunakonzekere kupitiriza ndi moyo wanu. Zimene amachita zingasonyezenso kuti amakhulupirira kuti mukugwirizana. Ngati akugwirizana ndi inu, kapena ngati akunena kuti kulankhulana ndi wakale si lingaliro loipa, ndi bwino kuwunikanso momwe mukumvera ndi ngati kuyanjananso ndi chinthu chomwe mukufunadi.

5. Akuyankha nkhani zanu za Instagram

Mwachitsanzo, ngati wakale wanu akugwiritsa ntchito malo anu ochezera a pa Intaneti :

• Kukonda zolemba
• Kuyankha nkhani
• kapena kusiya ma emojis

Ndi chizindikiro chamakono wakale wanu wayambanso chidwi. Zochita zazing'onozi zingawoneke ngati zopanda pake, koma nthawi zambiri zimasonyeza kuyesetsa kukhalabe ogwirizana. Zindikirani ngati machitidwe awo amapitilira zomwe amakonda, monga kuyankha pazamunthu, zomwe zingasonyeze kuti akuyesa madzi kuti ayanjanenso.

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6. Nonse “mukupeza kutsekedwa” kudzera pa mafoni apakati usiku

Macheza osatha usiku, makamaka okhudza ubale wanu, akhoza kukhala chizindikiro chachikulu cha malingaliro osathetsedwa. Ngati zokambiranazi zikukhudza kwambiri kukumbukira zinthu zabwino osati kuthetsa kutseka banja, ndi chizindikiro champhamvu chakuti wakale wanu adzakupatsani mwayi wina. Kufooka usiku nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa chowonadi, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta kulumikizananso m'maganizo komanso kuganizira zolumikizana ndi wakale ngati sitepe yoyamba yokonzanso ubalewo.

Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit adagawana ulendo wawo wosudzulana ndi kukonza ubale, "Ine ndi wakale wanga tinabwererana. Tinakhala limodzi kwa chaka chimodzi ndipo sitinamenyane kwambiri koma patatha milungu ingapo iye anakhala kutali nane ndipo anandinyoza ponena kuti ali ndi zambiri zomwe zikuchitika ndipo ayenera kudzipeza yekha. Tinakhala tikulumikizana pang'ono, zinali zofanana kungotumizirana mameseji mwachisawawa. Koma mauthenga amenewo nthawi zonse anali opweteka. Patapita nthawi, ndinamupatsa mpata ndipo anayamba kundilankhulana kwambiri."

7. Jekete lawo likadali kuvala kwanu kotonthoza

Kusunga katundu wawo, makamaka zinthu zomwe mumagwiritsa ntchito nthawi zonse, kumasonyeza kusafuna kusuntha . Kukondana kumeneku kumagwira ntchito mbali zonse ziwiri. Ngati sanapemphe kuti abwezeredwe katundu wawo—kapena ngati asunga zina mwa zanu—ndi chizindikiro choti mudzagwirizananso. Zinthu nthawi zambiri zimakhala ndi tanthauzo la mtima, zomwe zimakumbutsa za ubale womwe munali nawo.

8. Amakutumizirani mameseji chinthu choyamba pakachitika zoseketsa

Dr. Batra anati: “Ngati mwamuna wanu wakale amakonda kucheza naye nthawi zonse zoseketsa kapena zosangalatsa, zimasonyeza kuti amayamikirabe kugwirizana kwanu.” Khalidweli likuwonetsa kuti mukhalabe munthu wokonda kukuthandizani, chizindikiro chachikulu chomwe ex wanu angakupatseni mwayi wina. Kuyankhulana kotereku kumasonyeza kuti amakukhulupirirabe komanso amasamala za maganizo anu, ngakhale mutasiyana.

9. Mwayambanso kugwiritsa ntchito “ife”

Kutchula zinthu zakale ndi mawu akuti “ife” m'malo mwa “Ine” kumasonyeza kuti maganizo anu sanasinthe n’kuyamba kudziona ngati wosiyana nawo. Izi zitha kusonyeza kuti mukupitirizabe kukondana. Ngati maganizo monga akuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani ndikumva kuti adzabweranso ?” akubwera, mwina chifukwa chakuti mwamvapo kale lanu likugwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti “ife” pamene mukukumbukira zakale, ndipo mwazindikira zimenezo mosazindikira.

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10. Amayi awo amakuitanabe

Banja lawo likapitiriza kulankhulana, ndi chizindikiro cha kuvomereza ndi nkhani yosatha. Zimasonyeza kuti munali wofunika kwambiri pa moyo wawo kupatulapo chibwenzi chokha . Ngati amayi awo atchula wachibale wanu wakale pafoni imeneyi, ndi chizindikiro chosalunjika chakuti wachibale wanu wakale wayambanso kukondana kapena kuti banja likufuna kuti pakhale mgwirizano.

11. Ndewu zanu ndi za "m'tsogolo" tsopano

Kukangana zamtsogolo m'malo molakwitsa zakale kukuwonetsa kuti chiyembekezo ndikukonzekera kuchitika mosazindikira. Kulimbana uku kungakhale kwa:

• Zosankha zanu zantchito
• Chikondi chanu chimakhala
• Kapena mophweka, mapulani a hangout

Kukambitsirana kwamtsogoloku ndizizindikiro zoonekeratu kuti wakale wanu akupatsani mwayi wina, chifukwa akuwonetsa malingaliro osathetsedwa komanso kuganizirana poyambitsanso chibwenzi.

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12. Nonse ndinu “otanganidwa kwambiri moti simungakhale ndi chibwenzi”

Ngati palibe aliyense wa inu amene akuonana ndi anthu ena, ndi chizindikiro chakuti simukufuna kuyanjana ndi wina aliyense. Kudzipatula kumeneku ndi mtundu umodzi wa kusweka komwe kumabweranso , chifukwa cha chikhulupiriro chakuti chitseko sichinatsekedwe kotheratu. Chifukwa chake, ngati malo awo ochezera a pa Intaneti ali ndi mawu onena za "kulandira umbeta" kapena "kutenga nthawi yanga ndekha", kungakhale chizindikiro chabwino kuti zinthu ziyenda bwino.

13. Anzawo amakondabe zolemba zanu

Anzawo akamacheza ndi malo anu ochezera a pa Intaneti, zimasonyeza zinthu ziwiri:

• Amakuonabe bwino, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti palibe malingaliro oyipa omwe alipo kuchokera kumbali ya wakale wanu
• Anzanu akukulimbikitsanibe ngati banja

Thandizo losalunjikali nthawi zambiri limawonetsa malingaliro a wakale wanu, kupangitsa kukhala chizindikiro chomveka chomwe ex wanu angakupatseni mwayi wina.

14. Amakumbukira zokonda zanu 

N’chifukwa chiyani akazi akale amabweranso, n’kubwera ndi zokhwasula-khwasula zomwe mumakonda kudya kapena khofi ? Dr. Batra anati, “Ndi njira yodziwira bwino kuti mugwirizane ndi munthu wina. Manja okumbukira zakale ngati awa amakukumbutsani zomwe mwakumana nazo ndipo amatha kugwira ntchito ngati nthambi zazing’ono.” Manja amenewa angawoneke ngati:

• Kugawana nyimbo yomwe mungakonde
• Kutumiza chakudya chomwe mumakonda
• Kukutumizirani ma meme omwe amafanana ndi nthabwala zanu

15. Rom-com iliyonse imakukumbutsani

Ngati mafilimu ndi nkhani zachikondi zimakupangitsani kuganizira za wakale wanu, ndi chizindikiro chakuti simunakonzekere. Chidziwitso chanu ndi chimodzi mwazomwe zimayambira pakulumikizananso ndi munthu wakale, ndikuwunikira chiyembekezo chokhala ndi mathero osangalatsa.

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Kotero, mwathetsa vuto lakuti 'Kodi ndibwererenso ndi wakale wanga?' ndipo mwaganiza zopatsa mwayi wina. Tsopano vuto lotsatira ndikupeza momwe mungabwezeretsere wakale wanu mutasudzulana. Kuyanjananso sikutanthauza kubwereza zolakwa zakale—ndikumanganso ubale wolimba komanso wathanzi . Musanalowerere, yang'anani mozama. Unikani zochita zanu, nthawi yanu, ndi zolinga zanu kuti mupewe kubwezeretsanso mavuto akale. Kaya ndi kudzera mu kukula kwanu, kulankhulana moona mtima, kapena kulemekeza malire, malangizo awa angakuthandizeni kuthana ndi kukayikira komwe kulipo monga kuti adzabweranso kapena adzabweranso mutatha kulankhulana popanda kulumikizana ndikupita patsogolo mwanzeru.

1. Tengani udindo

Musanayesere kuyanjananso, ganizirani za udindo wanu pakutha kwa chibwenzi chanu. Kodi chinali chifukwa cha kusalankhulana bwino, kunyalanyaza maganizo , kapena mavuto enaake omwe simunathe kuwathetsa? Ngati munayambitsa mavutowo, vomerezani zolakwa zanu moona mtima.

• Mwachitsanzo, m’malo monena momveka bwino kuti “Pepani ngati ndakukhumudwitsani,” fotokozani chisoni chenicheni monga chakuti, “Ndimanong’oneza bondo chifukwa chopanda kukuthandizani pamene munandifuna.” 
• Ngati simuli bwino kupepesa, lembani zolakwa zomwe munapanga paubwenzi wanu ndipo yesetsani kunena kupepesa koona.

Dr. Batra anati: “Kuyankha mlandu kumasonyeza kukula ndi kukhwima maganizo, kumatsimikizira mwamuna wanu wakaleyo kuti ndinu wokonzeka kukhala ndi chibwenzi cholimba.” Popanda kuchita zimenezi, zolakwa zakale zimatha kubwerezedwa, kusokoneza mwayi uliwonse wobwererana mukatha kutha.

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2. Nthawi yoyenera

Kuganizira nthawi ndi chinthu chofunika kwambiri poganizira momwe angabwererenso ndi munthu wakale . Ngati angokumana ndi tsiku lovuta kapena ayamba kuonana ndi munthu watsopano, kulankhula naye kungawoneke ngati kosaona mtima kapena kosowa chochita. Mofananamo, kuthamangira mumtima mwake atangotha ​​kutha kungawakhumudwitse. Dr. Batra akulangiza kuti, "Samalani ndi momwe akumvera. Kodi akulemba zinthu zolimbikitsa kapena akucheza ndi mabwenzi? Izi zingasonyeze kuti ali okonzeka kugwirizananso. Kuwalankhulana nawo pamene maganizo awo ali bwino kumawonjezera mwayi wokambirana bwino."

• Yang'anani pa malo awo ochezera a pa Intaneti kapena zochitika zawo wamba kuti muwone ngati ali okonzeka kukhudzidwa
• Sankhani nthawi yopanda ndale, ngati masana a sabata, kuti mulumikizanenso

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3. Dzikonzeni nokha

Ngati kusudzulanako kukuwonetsa zophophonya zaumwini, yang'anani pa kudzikonza nokha musanadzifunse kuti, "Kodi wakale wanga adzabweranso?". Kodi ulesi wanu kapena kusafuna kutchuka kunayambitsa mikangano? Kodi kusatetezeka komwe sikunathetsedwe kunawononga ubale? Gwiritsani ntchito nthawiyi kuti mukonzekere nokha-kaya ndi izi:

• Kukhala ndi zizolowezi zabwino
• Kutsata zolinga zanu
• Kapena kulankhula katundu wamalingaliro

Ngati mukuganiza, "Kodi ex wanga adzabweranso?" kusonyeza kukula kungayambitsenso chidwi cha wakale wanu. Mwachibadwa anthu amakopeka ndi amene amatsogolera miyoyo yawo. Gawani zomwe mukuchita mobisa, monga kutumiza zomwe mumakonda, zomwe mwachita bwino pamasewera olimbitsa thupi, kapena zaukadaulo pazama TV.

4. Khalani oseketsa, osati okakamira

Nthabwala zimatha kuthetsa manyazi ndikumanganso ubale wamaganizo . Dr. Batra akunena kuti, "Nthabwala yamkati yokonzedwa bwino kapena ndemanga yopepuka ingakumbutse wakale wanu za nthawi zosangalatsa zomwe mudagawana. Komabe, kuchita mopitirira muyeso - monga kuwatumizira ma meme kapena kuyesetsa kwambiri kuti musewere - kungawoneke ngati kutaya mtima." M'malo mwake, gwiritsani ntchito nthabwala mwanzeru kuti mupange mayanjano abwino ndikuchepetsa nkhawa, ndikutsegula njira yolankhulirana momasuka.

• Mwachitsanzo, yang'ananinso nthabwala zomwe munagawana kapena kukumbukira moseketsa mu meseji, monga, "Mukukumbukira pomwe tidayesa kupanga zikondamoyo ndipo zidagwa m'khitchini?"

5. Lankhulani momveka bwino

Mauthenga osamveka bwino monga “wyd?” kapena “muli bwanji?” sadzakukhumudwitsani mukayesa kukonza chibwenzi. Lankhulani mwachindunji ndi zolinga zanu ndi momwe mukumvera. Auzeni kuti mwakhala mukuganizira za kutha kwa chibwenzi chanu ndipo khulupirirani kuti pali kuthekera kwa ubale wolimba. Dr. Batra akuti, “Kumveka bwino kumasonyeza ulemu ndi kukhwima, komwe ndi malangizo ofunikira amomwe mungabwezeretsere chibwenzi chanu chakale. Khalani oona mtima, komanso lolani kuti malingaliro awo awonekere mwachibadwa.”

• Mwachitsanzo, tumizani uthenga wonga, “Ndakhala ndikuganiza zambiri za ife ndipo ndikudzifunsa ngati mungakhale omasuka kukambirana za pamene ife tiri.”

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6. Onetsani, Osanena

Popereka malangizo okhudza mmene mungayambirenso kubwererana ndi munthu wakale wakale, Dr. Batra analangiza kuti: “Kuuza wakale wanu wakale kuti mwasintha sikokwanira—zochita zanu ziyenera kutsimikizira zimenezo. 

• Mwachitsanzo, ngati mumagwiritsa ntchito mapulani nthawi zambiri, onetsetsani kuti mumasunga nthawi komanso odalirika pamachitidwe anu
• Konzani zokayenda wamba ndipo tsatirani mwachidwi kusonyeza kudalirika kwanu ndi kudzipereka kwanu

Kutsimikizira kukula kwanu kudzera muzosintha zowoneka bwino kumapangitsa kukhala kosavuta kwa wakale wanu kukhulupirira zolinga zanu.

7. Lemekezani malo awo

Mutha kukhala ndi chidwi ndi funso lakuti "Kodi abweranso?" koma kuchulutsa ex wanu si njira yoyenera yodziwira. Malemba osasintha kapena kuyimba foni kumatha kuwakankhira kutali, kuwapangitsa kumva kuti akukakamizidwa kapena kutsekeredwa pakona. M'malo mwake:

• Apatseni nthawi yoti asinthe malingaliro awo kwinaku akuwakumbutsa mochenjera za kukhalapo kwanu
• Chepetsani kulankhulana kwanu kamodzi kapena kawiri pa sabata poyambira, kuwapatsa mpata woti aganizire pomwe mukulumikizana pafupipafupi

Kusowa munthu nthawi zambiri kumafuna kusakhalapo. Kulemekeza malire awo kumapanga mphamvu zabwino komanso kumasonyeza kukhwima m'maganizo.

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Kukumananso ndi munthu wakale kungakhale ulendo wopindulitsa ngati wafikiridwa bwino. Pokhala ndi udindo, kuyika nthawi yofikirako mwanzeru, kuyang'ana pa kudzitukumula, ndikulankhulana momveka bwino, mutha kumanganso chidaliro ndi kulumikizana. Khama losasunthika koma losasunthika monga nthabwala, kusintha kochirikizidwa, komanso kulemekeza malo awo kumatha kuthana ndi kukayikira ngati wakale wanga adzabweranso kapena adzabweranso. Kumbukirani, kubwererananso pambuyo pa kutha kumafuna kuleza mtima ndi kufunitsitsa kwa onse awiri. Musanalowe m'madzi, dzifunseni kuti ndikubwereranso ndi lingaliro labwino - ndipo pitirirani ngati yankho liri lolimba mtima inde.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.