15 Zitsanzo Zochepa Zochepa Mu Ubale - Osanyengerera Pa Izi

Kodi mukuyembekezera zambiri kuchokera paubwenzi wanu kapena mukupempha zochepa kwambiri? Kodi mukuvomereza zochepa muubwenzi, kapena ayi, ngakhale mutapereka zonse zomwe muli nazo? Chabwino, koma munthu amatanthauzira bwanji zoyembekeza zochepa muubwenzi? Ndipo mungatani kuti mnzanuyo akwaniritse zomwe mukuyembekezera muubwenzi wanu? Kodi ubale wanu kapena moyo wachikondi watsitsidwa kukhala wotopetsa, pakati pa ntchito zowuluka kwambiri, ntchito zapakhomo, ndi udindo wa ana? Kodi mwatsala kupempha zochepa ndipo simukumbukira nthawi yomaliza yomwe mnzanuyo adakupangani kukhala wapadera?

Ngati ubale wanu uli mumayendedwe oyimilira kapena opulumuka, pomwe mnzanuyo sakukupatsani zochulukirapo (kapena ayi), werengani. Mothandizidwa ndi mphunzitsi wamalingaliro abwino komanso oganiza bwino, Pooja Priyamvada (wotsimikiziridwa mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid kuchokera kwa Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney), yemwe amagwira ntchito yopereka uphungu wa zibwenzi kunja kwa banja, kupatukana, kupatukana, chisoni, ndi kutayika, kutchula zochepa chabe, tayesa kufufuza 'maubale ocheperako' ndikulemba maupangiri angapo okuthandizani kuthana ndi vuto limodzi. Tikuthandizaninso kuti mnzanuyo amvetsetse
momwe mungachitire zambiri kuposa zochepa zomwe zili muubwenzi. Chifukwa chake, popanda kuchedwa, tiyeni tilowe mu…

Kodi Bare Minimum Mu Ubale Ndi Chiyani?

Ndizovuta kutanthauzira 'chochepa kwambiri' muubwenzi. Kufotokozera momveka bwino, chochepa chopanda kanthu ndi chiwonkhetso cha zofunikira zochepa mu chiyanjano. Ndipo izi zimatha kusiyana pakati pa munthu ndi munthu, malingana ndi zomwe akumana nazo, dongosolo la mtengo wapatali, kuchuluka kwa ndalama zawo muubwenzi, ndi chikhumbo chofuna kuti zitheke.

Katswiri wathu Pooja anati, "Kupereka ndalama zochepa chabe kumatanthauza kusunga momwe zinthu zilili muubwenzi, popanda kukhudzidwa ndi maganizo kapena kukhudzidwa ndi zinthu zochepa. Zingapangitse mnzanuyo kumva kuti sakulemekezedwa komanso kuti sakukondedwa kwambiri. Izi zingasokoneze kulankhulana ndi kukondana pakati pa awiriwa ndikupangitsa kuti azioneka ngati akukhala moyo wosiyana ngakhale akukhala limodzi."

Tiwona momwe zochepa zimasinthira ndi gawo la moyo wa munthu kapena umunthu wake. Munthu mwachibadwa anaika muyezo m'munsi pa ubale wawo ngati akufuna kuti izo zigwire ntchito ziribe kanthu, ndipo izi zikhoza kukhala chifukwa cha zifukwa zingapo:

• Wina amene akudwala kudziyang'anira pansi akhoza kumamatira ku ubale wopanda kanthu
• Munthu akhoza kukhala wotanganidwa kwambiri muubwenzi kuti asiye wokondedwa wawo chifukwa chosapereka zochepa
• Anthu amatha kukhala ndi zibwenzi komanso kusiyidwa, zomwe zimachokera ku nkhanza zaubwana, ndipo sangathe kusiya mnzawo yemwe sachita khama pachibwenzi.
• Anthu amene ali ndi udindo wofanana, monga mwana kapena kholo lolumala, akhoza kupitiriza chibwenzicho potengera kuti m’kupita kwa nthawi n’zochepa chabe.
• Kupanda ndalama zodziyimira pawokha kungapangitse anthu kudalirana wina ndi mnzake ndikupitiliza ubale wocheperako

Kumbali ina, anthu ena amaika miyezo yapamwamba ndipo sangavomereze ngakhale pang’ono chabe. Zina mwazochitika zotere ndi:

• Munthu wangotuluka mwa a maubale oopsa ali ndi kulolerana kochepa kwa chibwenzi kapena bwenzi lopanda kanthu
• Anthu omwe amadziwa zomwe akufuna malinga ndi zolinga za moyo kapena kuyanjana nthawi zambiri salowa muubwenzi wochepa

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15 Zitsanzo Za Miyezo Yochepa Yochepa Mu Ubale

Kuyambira kuvomereza zoyesayesa zochepa muubwenzi wanu mpaka kukhala ndi zoyembekeza zochepa muubwenzi - musalole sewero la mawu likusokonezeni. Kusinthaku ndikosavuta, ndipo tabwera kuti tikufotokozereni. Popeza maubwenzi ndi okhazikika, monganso anthu omwe akukhudzidwa, zingakhale zovuta kuzindikira kuti mikhalidwe yocheperako ndi yotani. Koma zitsanzo zotsatirazi za zochitika za tsiku ndi tsiku mu maubwenzi okondana zitithandiza kudziwa zina mwazofunikira muubwenzi:

• Palibe nkhanza: Payenera kukhala zero kulolerana kwa mtundu uliwonse wa nkhanza mu ubale. Ndipo zimenezi zikuphatikizapo kutukwanidwa ndi kumutukwana, kumutukwana, kungokhala chete, ndiponso kumuchitira chipongwe
• Palibe nthabwala zokhumudwitsa: Palibe bwenzi loyenera kuchita nthabwala zokhumudwitsa za mawonekedwe, ntchito, abwenzi, kapena banja la mnzake. Ndipo ngati wina akunyoza mnzake pagulu, ndiye mbendera yofiira kwambiri
• Malire a zinsinsi zogawana: Othandizana nawo akumbukire kuti akuyenera kupangitsana wina ndi mnzake kukhala otetezeka ndikupereka mpata wopanda chiweruziro woululira zakukhosi ndi kugawana zinsinsi. Mmodzi sayenera kugwiritsa ntchito zolakwa za mnzake wakale kapena china chilichonse chomwe adagawana molimba mtima motsutsana nawo pamakangano aliwonse amtsogolo

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Makhalidwe 11 a Ubale Omwe Ndi Ofunika Kwambiri Kuti Mukhale ndi Moyo Wachimwemwe

• Malo oti "pepani": Kupepesa pambuyo pa mkangano waukulu ndikofunikira komanso chofunikira kuti ubale ukhalepo
• Malo kwa onse awiri: Kudzilola nokha ndi mnzanuyo kukhala ndi moyo wocheza kunja kwa chiyanjano ndikofunikira. Kupanda kutero, chibwenzi chikhoza kukhala chosokoneza kwa onse awiri
• Kuika patsogolo mnzanu: Mmodzi akuyenera kupangitsa wokondedwa wake kumva ngati ndi wofunika, poyankha mameseji awo ndikuyankha mafoni awo. Ngakhale munthu atakhala wotanganidwa, azifotokoza momveka bwino ndipo ayankhe mwamsanga
• Kupanga chilolezo kofunika: Kuvomera ndikofunikira pazisankho zonse, kaya kukhala paubwenzi wapamtima, kusungitsa ndalama, kapena kudzipereka kwina. Zosankha zazikulu zonse ziyenera kutengedwa pambuyo pokambirana mozama
• Kukhala pamenepo kwa wina ndi mzake: Kaya ndi vuto lazachuma, matenda osachiritsika, kapena kulumala, ngati ubale uli wofunika, kuchepera pang'ono kungaphatikizepo kukhalapo kwa wina ndi mnzake (osati kungokhala komweko, komanso kudzipereka m'malingaliro) panthawi yoyesa ndikuthandiza ubalewo kudutsa zovuta.

• Kuona Mtima: Kukhala woona mtima pa mbiri yakale, udindo wa ntchito, nkhani za m’banja, kapena nkhani ina iliyonse yofunika ndi mfundo yofunika kwambiri imene munthu ayenera kutsatira.
• kukhulupirika: Kudzipereka sikuyenera kukhala chinthu chomaliza muubwenzi. Munthu ayenera kukhala wokonzeka kusiya kukopana ngati amayamikira ubwenziwo
• Kulemekezana: Ubale sungathe kukhalapo popanda kulemekezana, ndipo izi zikuphatikizapo kulemekeza mkazi kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi wokondana naye kusankha moyo, kavalidwe, ndi ntchito.
• Chibwenzi: Kupatula nthawi zonse ubwenzi wapamtima, okwatirana ayenera kuchitapo kanthu m’njira zina zaubwenzi, monga kugwirizana kwamalingaliro, nawonso. Maubwenzi sangayende bwino pakugonana kokha
• Kukoma mtima: Kukhala okoma mtima, makamaka mnzako akakhala ndi tsiku lovuta, ndikofunikira. Ndikofunika kuwathandiza, kuwamvetsera, ndi kuwalola kuti atuluke
• Kuwongolera kochepa: Ubale umatha pamene wina ayesa kulamulira mnzake. Sipangakhale kufanana kwenikweni muubwenzi, pankhani yachuma chapakhomo kapena mbali zina, koma kuwongolera kuyenera kulimbikitsidwa.
• Thandizo lothandizana: Maubwenzi amakula pamene okondedwa amagwirizana ndi zolinga za moyo wa wina ndi mzake ndikukondwerera kupambana pang'ono, monga kukwezedwa kapena maphunziro. Kuthandizirana ndikofunikira kuti ubale ukhale wopambana, ndipo izi zimaphatikizapo kupezeka pazochitika zazikulu pamoyo wa wokondedwa wanu

Zinthu 8 Zomwe Mungachite Ngati Simukupeza Zochepa Zochepa Mu Ubale

Momwe ubale umawonekera ungakhale wosiyana kwa banja lililonse. Nachi chitsanzo chabwino: kukumbukira masiku ofunika ndi kuwakondwerera limodzi kungakhale kofunika kwambiri kwa banja limodzi koma sikungakhale kofunikira kwa wina. Koma pali zinthu zina mu ubale zomwe zitha kuonedwa kuti ndizochepa kwambiri padziko lonse lapansi. Koma bwanji ngati simukupeza ngakhale pang'ono m'chikondi? Kodi mumalimbana bwanji ndi ululu wonyalanyazidwa kapena kutengedwa mopepuka ndi mnzanu kapena wokondedwa wanu?

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Mu gawo lino, tikutsogolerani malangizo angapo omwe angakuthandizeni kuthana ndi vutoli. Ndi malangizo awa, mutha kuuza mnzanu momwe angachitire zambiri kuposa zomwe zili zochepa muubwenzi. Malangizo awa akuphunzitsani momwe mungakhazikitsire miyezo yoyenera yaubwenzi ndi chibwenzi . Ndiye, tikuyembekezera chiyani? Tiyeni tiyambe. Nazi zinthu 8 zomwe mungachite ngati mukuona kuti simukupeza zochepa kuchokera kwa mnzanu:

1. Kulankhulana bwino

Kulankhulana bwino ndiko maziko a ubale wabwino. Sikuti kulankhulana kokha kumalola chikondi chabwino, komanso kumathandiza kuthetsa mikangano. Kotero, ngati simukupeza ngakhale zochepa kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu, ndi nthawi yoti muchitepo kanthu. Nazi zomwe mungachite ngati mutapeza mnzanu akukana kumvetsera kapena kulankhula:

• Yambitsani kulankhulana kwabwino: Pooja akuti, “Kulankhulana kwabwinoko kumapangitsanso ubale wabwino.” Choncho, yambani inuyo ndipo muuze mnzanuyo mmene mukumvera komanso zimene mukufuna
• Ganizirani thupi: Kupatula kuyankhulana pakamwa kapena pamutu, kuyankhulana ndi thupi kumathandizanso kwambiri. Yang'anani m'maso, gwirani mwachikondi mnzanuyo, yambani kukumbatirana, ndipo mupangitseni kuti amve kuti mukufuna kuti anthu azicheza naye.
• Ikani malire a kulankhulana: Khazikitsani malamulo monga kumvetsera mwachidwi panthawi yomwe munagwirizanapo popanda foni kapena kulonjeza kuti chilichonse chomwe munganene mukakhala pachiwopsezo sichidzagwiritsidwa ntchito motsutsana nanu pankhondo yamtsogolo.

2. Samalani zofuna zanu ndi zokhumba zanu

Mukutsimikiza kuti wokondedwa wanu akudziwa zosowa zanu? Nanga bwanji zinthu zomwe simumapempha? Kodi angawerenge pakati pa mizere ndi kumvetsetsa kukhala chete kwanu? Kodi ali ndi lingaliro lililonse chomwe chili choposa chocheperako muubwenzi?

Pooja akuti, “Ganizirani zosowa zanu, kaya ndi zosowa zofunika kwambiri pamaganizo kapena zosowa zamaganizo, zogonana kapena zachuma.” Mukangodziwa zosowa zanu ndi zokhumba zanu, mutha kudziwitsa mnzanu ngati zikukwaniritsidwa. Kumva kuti mukumva ndi kuonedwa ndiye chinthu chochepa chomwe munthu amayembekezera muubwenzi. Chifukwa chake, dziwitsani mnzanu ngati:

• Mwakhumudwa chifukwa cha ntchito kapena zovuta zina
• Mukufuna kuthandizidwa ndi ndalama zapakhomo kapena ntchito zapakhomo
• Mukufuna kuyesa kugonana

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3. Pangani mgwirizano

Kulumikizana ndi chimodzi mwazofunikira kwambiri paubwenzi ndipo zimakwera pamndandanda wazomwe zimayembekeza muubwenzi. Ngati kulankhulana ndiye maziko, mgwirizano pakati pa okwatirana ndiwo guluu umene umagwirizanitsa. Pooja akulangiza, "Lumikizanani ndi mbali zonse za moyo wa mnzanuyo - ntchito yawo, mabwenzi awo, achibale awo."

Dokotala John Gottman, katswiri wodziwika bwino wa zamaganizo ku America, amatcha "gawo la ubongo wanu lomwe mumasunga zonse zofunika zokhudza moyo wa mnzanu" mapu a chikondi . Mukalongosola bwino mapu anu achikondi, mumadziwa bwino mnzanuyo, komanso kulumikizana kwanu kumalimba.

Kuti muwonjezere kulumikizana kwabwino, mutha:

• Khalani ndi zokambirana zakuya za moyo wanu kupatula ubale wanu
• Kambiranani ntchito yanu ndi zolinga zanu
• Kambiranani kukoma kwanu komwe kukukulirakulira, kaya ndi chakudya, masiku osangalatsa, maulendo, kugonana, kapena moyo wanu wokha.

4. Limbikitsani umunthu wanu

Ngakhale kulumikizana ndikofunikira muubwenzi, kumatha kukhala msampha womwe umakupangitsani kutaya umunthu wanu. Ubale uliwonse umakhala wosokoneza ngati palibe kulemekezedwa kwa aliyense payekhapayekha. Pooja anati: “N’kofunika kuona mnzanu wa m’nzako monga chowonjezera, koma osati monga mbali ya inuyo.

Zofunikira zochepa chabe, kutanthauza zofunikira zoyambira, muubwenzi wanu ziyenera kuphatikizapo kupanga ndi kulemekeza malire ena ndikulimbikitsa ufulu ndi chitetezo cha munthu aliyense . Khalani olimba mtima pa malire awa kuti mupeze zambiri kuposa zochepera zochepa mu chikondi. Umu ndi momwe mungachitire izi:

• Dzifunseni kuti, “Ndikanapanda kudera nkhawa za chakudya cha aliyense, ndikanafuna kudya chiyani?”
• Gwiritsani ntchito sabata popanda mnzanu, kukumana ndi anzanu apamtima
• Yang'anani pa chilichonse chomwe chimakupangitsani kumva bwino, kaya kuwerenga kapena kusungitsa gawo la spa
• Nthawi zina, muzidzuka ola limodzi kapena kutenga tsiku lopuma ndikukhala ndi nthawi yochita zomwe mumakonda ndikudzipangitsa kukhala wapadera.

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5. Mupangitse wokondedwa wanu kumvetsetsa kuvomereza

Pooja akuti, “Kumvetsetsa chilolezo n’kofunika nthawi zonse, pa chilichonse chochita kapena ganizo.” Ngakhale timalankhula zambiri za chilolezo pankhani ya ubale wapamtima, Pooja akufotokoza bwino udindo wa chilolezo m’mbali zina za moyo wa okwatirana. Iye akuti, “Kupempha chilolezo kwa mnzanu kuti asankhe zinthu zomwe anthu ambiri amachita ndi njira imodzi yosonyeza ulemu kwa iye. Zimasonyeza kuti sanatengedwe ngati chinthu chopepuka.”

Chifukwa chake, ngati mukuwona kuti chilolezo chanu sichikuyamikiridwa ndi mnzanu, izi ndi zomwe mungachite:

• Onetsetsani kuti mnzanuyo akukambirana nanu mozama musanagule zinthu zofunika kwambiri kapena kusankha zochita pamoyo wanu, monga kusiya ntchito, kugula nyumba, kapena kusamukira mumzinda watsopano.
• Adziwitseni ngati simuli bwino paphwando lanyumba, asanaitane anzanu
• Apangitseni kumvetsetsa kufunikira kwa chilolezo pabedi

6. Khalani wachifundo

Kumvera chisoni n'kofunika kwambiri paubwenzi wabwino ndipo kumaphatikizapo kudziyika mumkhalidwe wa mnzanu ndikuyang'ana mavuto ake monga momwe iwo akuonera. Izi zimapangitsa kuti pakhale mgwirizano ndi kumvetsetsana komwe ndikofunikira kuti ubale ukhale wabwino. Umu ndi momwe mungalimbikitsire chifundo muubwenzi wanu:

• Tsegulani nokha kwa mnzanuyo ndipo muwadziwitse chifukwa chake mukuchita chinachake momwe mukuchitira
• Yesetsani kugawana momwe mukumvera, chifukwa izi zidzakuphunzitsani inu ndi mnzanuyo kuti muzimverana chisoni

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7. Yang'anani pa maubwenzi amtundu uliwonse

Tsopano, tikamanena za kugonana, sitifuna kungonena za kugonana. Ubwenzi wapamtima umakhala wosiyanasiyana, umafikira pakugonana, kutengeka maganizo, nzeru, ngakhalenso ubwenzi wauzimu. Ngati wokondedwa wanu achita zochepa muubwenzi wanu, amayang'ana kugonana ngati njira yoyandikira, osayang'ana kumvetsetsa mozama.

Koma, kuti mulimbikitse mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya ubale wapamtima muubwenzi , muyenera kusamala kwambiri pakukulitsa ubale wamaganizo ndi wamaganizo ndi mnzanu, ndipo mosemphanitsa. Pokhapokha ngati mnzanuyo ali ndi mtima wodzipereka muubwenziwo, ubale wanu udzakhala wopanda maziko olimba. Umu ndi momwe mungapangire mnzanuyo kuchita zinthu zapamtima kupitirira kugonana.

• Limbitsani chidaliro mu ubalewo pogawana nawo zinsinsi zina zomwe simunawagawirepo ndi wina aliyense, ndipo adziwitseni
• Kuti musinthe, zichitani zowoneratu kapena kukumbatirana popanda kugonana
• Yendani limodzi kapena gwiritsani ntchito zosangalatsa zomwe nonse mumasangalala nazo panthawi yanu yaulere
• Muzicheza tsiku lililonse, ngakhale kwa mphindi 15 musanagone

8. Onetsani chikondi

Chikondi ndi ulusi womwe umalumikiza chilichonse pamodzi. Kodi cholinga cha anthu awiri kukhala pamodzi n'chiyani ngati si chifukwa cha chikhumbo cha munthu chofuna kukonda ndi kukondedwa? Koma chikondi chingachepe ngati sichinatengedwe mopepuka kapena kunyalanyazidwa. Mabanja ena amatha kusonyeza chikondi popanda kuonekera kwambiri. Koma chikondi ndi chinthu chochitapo kanthu komanso chodziwikiratu, ndipo maubwenzi ndi ofanana.

Muyenera kugwira ntchito paubwenzi tsiku ndi tsiku ndikuwonetsa chikondi powonekera kuti mnzanuyo azindikire chikondi chanu. Okondedwa wanu akadziwa kuti amayamikiridwa ndi kukondedwa, pang'onopang'ono adzachoka pa zomwe zikuchitika "zochepa" ndikuchita khama kuti apulumutse chibwenzicho.

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Chifukwa chake, muyenera kudziwitsa wokondedwa wanu kuti mumamukonda ndikumusamala. Adziwitseni zomwe zili zochulukirapo kuposa zochepa zomwe zili muubwenzi. Umu ndi momwe mungachitire izi ndikuwathandiza kupita mtunda wowonjezera:

• Aphikireni chakudya chomwe amachikonda kamodzi kokha ndi kudabwa nawo
• Ikani mawu akuti 'zikomo' pa furiji pa zomwe adakuchitirani
• Gwirizanitsani ndalama wina ndi mzake - gulani mphatso, tulukani kukasangalala, kusangalala madzulo achikondi, ndikukhala limodzi
• Ayitanireni pa nthawi ya nkhomaliro kuti mungowanong'oneza tokoma ndikuwapangitsa kumva bwino
• Ayamikireni ndikuwapangitsa kumva kuti ndi apadera

Tikukhulupirira kuti simukudabwa ngati mukupeza zochepa kuchokera kwa wokondedwa wanu (kapena ayi). Tikukhulupiriranso kuti tsopano mukudziwa momwe mungakhazikitsire miyezo mu ubale. Ngati muli ndi chibwenzi chochepa chochepa kapena chibwenzi chomwe chikukokera chibwenzicho, popanda kuyesetsa, musakhale pansi. Lekani kuvomereza zochepa muubwenzi ndikuchitapo kanthu, ngakhale mutakhala otanganidwa kwambiri kuti mukhale wolimba.

Ubale wokhala ndi zoyesayesa zochepa kuchokera kwa bwenzi lililonse sungakhale ndi mwayi wochuluka wa chikondi, kukula kwaumwini, kapena chisangalalo ngati mukuganiza za nthawi yayitali. Koma kumbukirani, kupempha kuti muchepetse pang'ono kuchokera kwa mnzanuyo kukhoza kuwononga ubale wanu pang'onopang'ono. Chifukwa chake, phunzirani kumvetsetsa zomwe mukuyembekezera kuchokera paubwenzi wanu, khazikitsani ubale wina, sinthani zomwe mukuyembekezera pamndandanda waubwenzi, ndipo musalole kuti zochepa zikulepheretseni.

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