Anyamata Mumamva Bwanji Mukawadula?

Kodi anyamata amamva bwanji mukamawadula? Ndinkadzifunsa funsoli nthawi iliyonse ndikanyalanyaza pempho la Nate titamenyana. Anali wokongola, woseketsa, komanso wabwino pabedi, koma ankakwiya ngati mwana ndikalankhula ndi munthu wina. Chomwe chimandikwiyitsa kwambiri chinali chinyengo chake popeza nthawi zonse ankasewera ndi akazi ena. Ndikuganiza kuti Lachitatu angandiuze kuti, "Kodi mungamulole bwanji kuti akutengeni mopepuka? Muyenera kudula munthu amene akukusewerani ... kapena ndimudula chifukwa cha inu."

Chabwino, tisanalole Lachitatu kusewera zongopeka zake, muyenera kukumbukira kuti simungafulumire kudula munthu. Muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti mukachita izi, malingaliro awo angakhumudwitse, ndipo zingasinthe ubale wanu kwambiri. Ndinkamukonda Nate, koma khalidwe lakelo linali losapiririka. Nditamudula, ndinadziwa kuti zimamupweteka kwambiri kuposa momwe amachitira, koma ndinayenera kudzichitira ndekha zoyenera.

Mumadziwa Bwanji Nthawi Yodula Mnyamata?

Sizophweka nthawi zonse kuchotsa anthu m'miyoyo yanu. Nthawi zina mumawadziwa kwa sabata imodzi yokha, pomwe nthawi zina mumakhala pachibwenzi ndi iwo kwa zaka zambiri. Mukangoyamba kuonana ndi munthu, zimakhala zosavuta kuzindikira zizindikiro zowopsa zomwe zikukuvutitsani . Koma muubwenzi wautali, zimakhala zovuta kuwazindikira ndipo zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kutenga sitepe yotsatira yovuta. Nazi zizindikiro zomwe muyenera kumuchotsa:

1. Salemekeza malire anu

Kaya mwangoyamba kumene kuwona munthu, kapena mwakhala mukuyenda ndi munthu kwa nthawi yayitali, sizovomerezeka kuti aphwanye malire anu. Ngati mukukumana ndi zomwe zikukuvutitsani mkati, pitani ndikumverera kwanu m'matumbo. Muloze izo kwa iye. Muubwenzi wotalikirapo pomwe khalidwe lotere lingakhale lachizoloŵezi, muyenera kuyimitsa ndikukhazikitsa zosoweka zanu ndi zosokoneza. Muduleni ngati salemekeza malire anu mobwerezabwereza.

• Amakunyengererani, akuwoneka kuti akudziwa zambiri za inu kuposa momwe mudamuuzira, kapena amawonetsa machitidwe ena owopsa
• Akufuna kuwona foni yanu kapena malo ochezera a pa Intaneti
• Amachita zinthu zomwe munamuletsa mosapita m’mbali

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2. Iye ndi wankhanza

Mungaganize kuti mfundo imeneyi ndi yophweka. Koma n'zodabwitsa kuti anthu nthawi zambiri amapirira khalidwe lozunza, makamaka muubwenzi wodzipereka, monga momwe kafukufukuyu wanenera . Izi zili choncho makamaka chifukwa chakuti n'zovuta kuzindikira nkhanza zamaganizo kapena zamaganizo poyerekeza ndi nkhanza zakuthupi. Nthawi zina, anthu amakumana ndi mavuto ndipo amakhala ndi chikondi chosagwira ntchito ndi okondedwa awo ozunza. Muyenera kuchokamo chifukwa sizidzasintha.

• Amakonda kufotokoza zakukhosi kwake mwaukali kapena mwachiwawa
• Kukhala naye limodzi kumakuchititsani kudziona kuti ndinu wosakwanira, wosasangalala, kapena mumada nkhawa
• Ngakhale atasonyeza kuti ndi wolakwa chifukwa chakukhumudwitsani, amachitanso chimodzimodzi

3. Mwatopa ndi kumuyembekezera

N’kwachibadwa kuti munthu aziyembekezera kuti mnzakeyo azimusamalira mokwanira akakhala limodzi. Koma mukakhala ndi ntchito yoti mugwire komanso kulipira ngongole, simungakwanitse kuchita zimenezi nthawi zonse. N’kutheka kuti mnyamata wanu akuchita chinachake chimene chikumuwonongera nthawi ndi mphamvu zake zambiri. Kapena kuti ali ndi zinthu zina m'moyo zomwe adzaziika patsogolo kuposa inu. Choncho muyenera kuganizira mozama zimene mungamuyembekezere.

• Alibe nthawi yolankhula nanu kapena samakumverani chilichonse, zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala osungulumwa
• Iye amaika anthu ena patsogolo panu, kukupangitsani kumva ngati alibe chidwi ndi inu
• Sachita khama lililonse akakhala ndi inu, choncho nthawi imene mumathera limodzi imakhala yachangu
• Amachita zinthu mwaubwana pokulepheretsani kapena kukunyozani kuti mukhale pamodzi
• Mukuganiza zothetsa chibwenzi mwadzidzidzi koma kenako mumadabwa kuti: Kodi anyamata amamva bwanji mukawadula? Ndiyeno mumazindikira kuti mwina sangazindikire ngakhale mutamudula 

4. Amakudetsa nkhawa

Munthu akhoza kusonyeza khalidwe lotentha ndi lozizira pazifukwa zingapo. Koma makamaka chifukwa chofuna kulamulira ubale wawo. Kudzikuza ndi chikondi ndi njira imodzi yomwe amayesera kulamulira. Komabe, kuchitiridwa zinthu zosayembekezereka za zochita zawo kungakutopetseni maganizo. Kungakupangitseni kukhala ndi nkhawa, kudzikayikira, komanso kukupangitsani kukhala ndi mantha.

• Amakupusitsani, amakupangitsani kukayikira malingaliro anu, ndikuchita masewera amalingaliro 
• Ngakhale mutadziwa zamatsengawa ndikukumana naye, amayesa kukuimbani mlandu kapena kupereka zifukwa zambiri. Iye samasamala ngati malingaliro anu akupwetekedwa muzochitikazo
• Khalidwe lake limakupangitsani kukhala wokhumudwa, wotopa, kapena wopanda chiyembekezo

5. Iye samakulolani kukhala chimene inu muli

Ngati muli ndi mnyamata amene amayembekeza kuti mutengepo mbali ina m'moyo wake, popanda kusamala kuti simuli omasuka kusewera udindo umenewo, ndiye kuti sizoyenera. Zimakhala zopweteka kukhala ndi munthu amene amakukondani ngati mukuchita zinthu zinazake. Ndizopanda chilungamo ndipo zimakulepheretsani kuti mukhale ndani. Kwenikweni, iye sakuchitirani zomwe muyenera.

• Amakufunsani kuti muvale kapena kukhala ndi makhalidwe enaake. Amanamiziranso zinthu zina zokhudza inuyo n’kumayembekezera kuti inuyo muzichita zimenezi pamaso pa ena
• Amasamala kwambiri za momwe ena amakuonerani kuposa momwe mumamvera
• Amakusokonezani m'malingaliro kapena amakulamulirani m'njira zina kuti musunge mawonekedwe

6. Ganizirani zodula mnyamata amene sangachite

Palibe aliyense wa ife amene ali ndi ngongole yodzipereka kwa anzathu. Koma siziyenera kuletsa aliyense kusiya chibwenzi ngati sakupeza zomwe akufuna. Ngati chibwenzi chanu sichikufuna kudzipereka, koma inu mukufuna, sikulakwa kupitiriza. Nonse mukufuna zinthu zosiyana m'moyo. Si bwino kuyembekezera kuti aliyense wa inu anganamize mmene akumvera chifukwa cha mnzake. Mofananamo, ngati mnzanu akufuna kudzipereka, koma inu simukufuna, ndi bwino kupita njira zanu zosiyana.

• Onani ngati akuwonetsa zizindikiro za kudzipereka - phobe. Ngati kukhala paubwenzi wodzipereka ndi gawo la mapulani anu amtsogolo, ndibwino kumusiya
• Sachita khama lililonse kukudziwitsani kwa anthu ake kapena kukumana ndi anthu anu. Amapanga zifukwa zamtundu uliwonse kuti atulukemo. Kapena choipa kwambiri, amalonjeza zabodza kuti akudziwitseni kwa iwo ndikunama kuti sakupezeka
• Muduleni kuti mupeze ubwenzi wabwino, m’malo mopanga machenjera oti achite. Palibe chitsimikizo kuti izi zimupangitsa kuti agwade ndi mphete ya diamondi

7. Uyenera kudula mnyamata amene amakusewera iwe

Ngati mupeza kuti mwamuna wanu akukunamizani , n’zoonekeratu kuti akupempha kuti mumusiye yekha. Nthawi zambiri, anthu sakunamizani chifukwa chopeza mwayi, amanamizani chifukwa akumva kuti pali vuto muubwenzi wawo. Komabe, pali anthu ena omwe amakonda kunamizani anzawo kuti asangalale nawo. Mulimonsemo, sichilungamo kwa inu. Ngati mukufuna kuti akhale yekha muubwenziwo ndipo sangakupatseni zimenezo, ndi bwino kusiya.

• Iye akukunyengererani kumbuyo kwanu, ndipo izi zimakupangitsani inu kumva manyazi ndi kukanidwa
• Amakutengerani mopepuka. Sakupepesa pa izi ndipo akuwonetsa kuti akufuna kuchitanso
• Simungakhalenso pamtendere pachibwenzi mutadziwa za kusakhulupirika kwake

Anyamata Mumamva Bwanji Mukawadula?

Chifukwa cha mfundo za umuna woopsa zomwe zimagogomezera kuti “anyamata salira”, nthano ya kusamvera amuna yakhala yofala kwambiri. Kulankhula zakukhosi kwa amuna pambuyo pa kusudzulana kumaonedwa ngati kudzipatula, koma zimenezo sizimawaletsa kumva zakukhosi kumeneko. Ndiye anyamata amamva bwanji mukamawalekanitsa? Zimatengera zinthu zingapo:

• Kutalika kwa ubale: Adzamva kuwawa chifukwa chodulidwa ngati mwakhala paubwenzi wautali komanso wovuta
• Nkhani zodzidalira: Ngati mnyamata wanu ali wodzikayikira, ndiye kuti akhoza kudzitengera yekha zinthu
• Nkhani zaumwini: Ngati akukumana ndi vuto linalake, akhoza kumva mphamvu ya mzimu wanu kuposa momwe akanachitira.

Ndiye umu ndi momwe anyamata amachitira mukawadula:

1. Sazindikira nkomwe

Izi ndizofala kwambiri pomwe mnyamata wanu samazindikira kuti mwamudula. Izi zikhoza kukhala chifukwa chakuti ali ndi zambiri pa mbale yake kapena chifukwa chakuti sakukhudzidwa ndi kupatukanako. Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, ngati muwona kuti alibe chidwi ndi inu kumudula ngakhale patapita nthawi yayitali, ndiye kuti mwina sikunali koyenera.

• Mwamuna wanu akhoza kukhala wotanganidwa kwambiri kuona zizindikiro kuti mukumudula. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti samakuganizirani. Watanganidwa kwambiri moti sangakuimbireni foni ndikukuuzani. Adzazindikira pambuyo pake, koma musayembekezere kumuyimbira foni nthawi yomweyo ngati simulumikizana naye kwa tsiku limodzi
• Ndizothekanso kuti mudali pachibwenzi ndi af*ck boy yemwe ali ndi njira zambiri zomuzungulira moti samazindikira kuti imodzi mwazosankhazo siyikulumikizananso.
• Zingatanthauzenso kuti mwakhala mukulekana pang'onopang'ono muubwenzi. Tsopano popeza mwamudula, sizikupanga kusiyana kwakukulu kwa iye

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2. Asokonezeka

Nthawi zambiri, mnyamata wanu sangazindikire kuti wachita chinachake cholakwika. Izi zimachitika makamaka ngati sakudziwa zomwe wachita kuti zitsimikizire khalidwe lotere. Ikhoza kukhala nkhani yodziwika bwino ya 'mnyamata wa amayi' pamene sakuzindikira kuti akufunika kuthandizira pa ntchito yapakhomo kapena pamene akuchita zinthu popanda kuzindikira momwe zimakhudzira inu. Kudula mnyamatayo popanda kumuuza cholakwa chake n’kupanda chilungamo pankhaniyi.

• Musamafulumire kudula munthu chifukwa akhoza kukhumudwa ngati sakudziwa zomwe anachita
• Zitha kukhala zopanda chilungamo mukadula munthu mwadzidzidzi, makamaka ngati mukufuna kumulanga chifukwa chosachita zomwe mukufuna. Osachepera, kambiranani zomwe mukuyembekezera. Mwanjira imeneyi, simuyenera kugwiritsa ntchito njira zotere
• Mukaganiza zomupatsanso mwayi wina, zitha kupangitsa kuti ayambe kudzikayikira kapena kukayikira zochita zake kuti asakukhumudwitseni.

3. Anyamata amamva bwanji mukawadula? Amaona kuti alakwiridwa ndi kukwiya

Nthawi zambiri, mnyamata akamaona kuti sanachite chilichonse choyenera kuchita zimenezi, amaona kuti zimene mwasankha n’zopanda chifukwa. Ngati mwamuna wanu ali ndi vuto lodzikayikira, akhoza kuganiza kuti khalidweli ndi vuto laumwini. Zikatero, zimakhala kuti akuchitiridwa zinthu mopanda chilungamo kuposa kuti inuyo mungafunike kupuma kwa iye.

• Kunyada kwake kumafuna kugunda. Amaona ngati mukukayikira ulamuliro wake monga mwamuna
• Amafuna kudziwa chifukwa chake mukumudula. Sadzaona kusalemekeza malire kapena nkhanza zamaganizo ngati zifukwa zomveka
• Ayenera kuganiza kuti mwapeza munthu wina kapena wina akufuna kukutsutsani. Izi ndi zoona khalidwe lodziderera paubwenzi
• N’kutheka kuti akhoza kukhala wamakani ndipo angafune kuti mum’bwezere, kuti mungomusisita. Akhoza kukhala waukali kapena wachiwawa. Pakhoza kukhala masewera olakwa ndipo angamve kulimbikitsidwa kuti akutsatireni atakwiya
• Akhoza kulowa muubwenzi wobwereranso, kotero akhoza kukuwonetsani kuti akhoza kupita mofulumira kuposa inu. Zikatere, akhoza kupotoza choonadi kuti chigwirizane ndi nkhani yake kuti akhale pamtendere. Kumbukirani, si za inu, koma za iye. Iye akuyesera kuchepetsa kunyada kwake kovulazidwa

4. Amadutsa mu zowawa za kukanidwa 

Ngati mwamunayo amakukondani moona mtima, adzamva kuti akukanidwa. Ngakhale mu nkhani iyi, kudzidalira kwake kumangopitirira. Koma poyerekezera ndi kudziona ngati wolakwiridwa, amayamba kupeza zolakwa mwa iyeyo osati mwa inu. Izi zingayambitse kutsika, ndipo angayambe kudzimva kuti "sakukwanira". Amayamba kudziona kuti ndi wosafunika, ndipo zimenezi zimakhudza mbali zina za moyo wake.

• Amayamba kukayikira luso lake ndipo angayambe kutaya chidwi
• Research akuwonetsa kuti kukanidwa kumayambitsa magawo omwewo a ubongo wathu omwe amayamba kugwira ntchito panthawi ya ululu wamthupi. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kukanidwa kumakhala kowawa
• Zikatero, kumudula mwamuna nthawi yomweyo kumamupangitsa kukusowani chifukwa akufuna kuti mubwererenso kuti muchepetse ululu wake.

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5. Amakhala okhumudwa komanso okhumudwa

Katswiri wa za anthu Helen Fisher adafalitsa kafukufuku mu 2005 yemwe adafotokoza chifukwa chake kugwa m'chikondi kumamveka bwino, chifukwa chake chikondi chimakhala chosokoneza, komanso chifukwa chake kutha kwa chibwenzi kumapweteka kwambiri. Malinga ndi iye, tikagwa m'chikondi, ma neurotransmitters monga dopamine amatulutsidwa muubongo. Dopamine imayambitsa chisangalalo, chilimbikitso, ndi mphotho. Anthu akatha kukondana, kuchuluka kwa dopamine kumachepa, ndichifukwa chake zimakhala zomvetsa chisoni kutha kwa chibwenzi.

• Ndi kusowa kwa dopamine m'dongosolo lake, amatha kumva chisoni komanso kukanidwa
• Adzayamba kukusowani, makamaka akaona zinthu zina zomwe zimamukumbutsa za inu, ngati munthu wina yemwe ali ndi tsitsi lomwelo.
• Akhoza kukhumudwa m'masiku oyambirira a ubale wanu pamene zinthu zinali zosangalatsa kwambiri
• Ngati muwona chisoni chachikulu mwa iye, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro chibwenzi chako chakusowa ndipo akufuna kuti ubwerere

6. Amachipeza kukhala choseketsa

Ngati adadulidwapo muubwenzi wake wakale kapena ndi inu, ndiye kuti atha kuzitenga mopepuka chifukwa chasowa chodabwitsa. Angaonenso ngati kusonyeza kuwongolera kapena kupsa mtima, makamaka ngati zimenezo n’zimene anzake akumuuza. Choipitsitsa, angaganize ngati kuyesa kwanu kumubwezera pazomwe adachita m'mbuyomu.

• Amaona ngati zoseketsa ndipo samasamala ngakhale kufunsa chomwe chavuta nthawi ino
• Ngati ndinu msambo, akhoza kugwirizanitsa ndi kusamba kwanu ndikuzitcha zotsatira za PMS/PMDD
• Adzasewera limodzi akudziwa kuti mubwera posachedwa
• Akhozanso kumacheza ndi anzake n’kumasangalala, akumayembekezera kuti muthetsa posachedwapa

7. Amasuka;

Kodi anyamata amamva bwanji mukawadula paubwenzi wopanda chiyembekezo? Amamva kumasuka mopanda chibadwa. Izi zikhoza kuchitika pamene chibwenzicho chikusokonekera ndipo akulephera kupanga sitepe yoyamba kuti achoke paubwenziwo. Muzovuta zamalingaliro, amamva ngati mukumuchitira zabwino posankha kuchoka kaye. 

• Mumawona zizindikiro zowoneka bwino m'mawonekedwe a thupi lake ndipo mukuwona m'masiku akubwerawa kuti ali ndi chikhumbo chochita zinthu zomwe amakonda nthawi zonse.
• Ngati mwakwatirana, ndipo akuwonetsa chisoni chosaneneka mukamudula, ndiye kuti a chizindikiro chomvetsa chisoni kuti ukwati wanu watha
• Salimbikitsidwa kukutsatirani ngati simunakumane naye kwa masiku angapo

8. Amadziimba mlandu 

Amadziimba mlandu chifukwa chakukhumudwitsani. Amadziŵa kuti walakwa ndipo amadziŵa zolakwa zake. Zitha kukhala chifukwa chakupweteketsa mtima mosadziwa kapena mwadala. Koma mwanjira iriyonse, liwongo liri chisonyezero cha chifundo ndipo limakuuzani kuti pali mpata wowongolera muunansi. Adzayesa kukupangitsani inu.

• Amayesa kukuthandizani koma amalemekeza malire anu
• Amakupezerani mphatso, amakuchitirani zabwino
• Amasonyeza chisoni chake m'mawu ndi kukonza

Pamene mukudula mwamuna, ndi bwino kumudziwitsa kuti mukufuna kupumula kapena kuti chibwenzicho sichikuyenda bwino. Kudula wina popanda chenjezo lililonse kungasiye chibwenzicho. Izi zimamuitana kuti abwerenso kwa inu, ndipo mwina simungafune nthawi zonse. Kulankhulana n'kofunikanso ngati mukufuna kumudula kuti mumvetse mfundo. Nthawi zonse ndi njira yabwino kufotokozera zomwe simukumasuka nazo m'malo mongogwiritsa ntchito njira zongoyang'ana.

Ibibazo

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11 Choyipa Kwambiri Bodza Mu Ubale Ndi Zomwe Akutanthauza Pa Ubale Wanu - Zawululidwa

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.