Mbendera Zofiira 15 Zomwe Anthu Ambiri Amazinyalanyaza

Kodi mukulephera kuwona mbendera zofiira zomwe zikulankhula? Zimandikumbutsa za zokambirana zodziwika bwino za mndandanda Bojack Horseman, zomwe zimati, "Mukudziwa, ndizoseketsa ... mukamayang'ana munthu kudzera m'magalasi amtundu wa rozi, mbendera zonse zofiira zimangowoneka ngati mbendera."

Monga Wanda akunenera, nthawi zina mumangoyang'ana mbendera zofiira chifukwa mumakopeka kwambiri ndi munthu watsopano m'moyo wanu. Ndipo mukayamba kuwazindikira, nthawi zambiri amakhala mochedwa. Chifukwa chake, tidapanga mndandanda wothandiza wa mbendera zofiira kuti tiziyang'ana pagawo loyankhulira lomwe. 

Mumadziwa bwanji ngati siteji yolankhulira ikuyenda bwino? Tiyeni tifufuze, mothandizidwa ndi mphunzitsi wamalingaliro abwino komanso oganiza bwino Pooja Priyamvada (wotsimikiziridwa mu Psychological and Mental Health First Aid kuchokera ku Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health ndi University of Sydney). Amagwira ntchito yopereka upangiri wa zibwenzi kunja kwa banja, kutha, kupatukana, chisoni ndi kutayika, kungotchulapo zochepa chabe.

Kodi Siteji Yokambirana Pachibwenzi Ndi Chiyani?

Nkhani yokambirana pachibwenzi ndi imodzi mwamagawo abwino kwambiri achikondi chatsopano. Ndi gawo limene mumadziwa munthuyo. Mumatanganidwa kwambiri ndi zokambirana zanu mwakuti usiku umasanduka m’mawa ndipo simuzindikira n’komwe kuti padutsa maola ambiri. Ndi nthawi yomwe zonse zili zatsopano komanso zatsopano…chidwi komanso zinsinsi zimakukuta. Mumasunga nthawi potumiza uthenga wabwino wa m'mawa ndi usiku wabwino (abwana anu akufuna kuti mukanene ku ofesi ndi mwambowo). Mumadziwa bwanji ngati siteji yolankhulira ikuyenda bwino? Pooja akuwonetsa zina zabwino zokhazikitsa mgwirizano:

• Ngati palibe lingaliro la kukakamizidwa kuti mufulumire kutenga chiyanjano ku mlingo wotsatira
• Ngati winayo akulolani danga
• Ngati chidwi ndi zoyambira ndizogwirizana 

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Ndikosavuta kudzitaya (monga mukutaya tulo) pakati pa agulugufe onse ndi kukopana. Ndicho chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kukhala ndi malamulo ena pokambirana. Pooja akuwonetsa zingapo:

• Musayambe kugawana chilichonse chokhudza inu ndi munthu watsopano
• Kutumiza zithunzi zapamtima ndikoletsa-ayi
• Chenjerani ndi kuwadziwitsa za komwe muli
• Osadumpha kuyimbira makanema mwachangu
• Samalani ndi chilichonse chomwe mungagawane

Mbendera Zofiira 15 Zomwe Anthu Ambiri Amazinyalanyaza

Pooja akufotokoza kuti, "Mbendera zofiira ndizo zizindikiro zochenjeza zomwe zimadzikweza okha nthawi ndi nthawi pazochitika zilizonse, zomwe zimasonyeza ngozi yomwe ikubwera kutsogolo. M'gawo loyankhulana, mbendera zofiira zodziwika bwino zimatha kukhala chidziwitso chosagwirizana, kuyamba kukambirana pa maola osamvetseka, kufunsa zambiri zaumwini, kupempha zithunzi zapamtima, kutumiziranso kuyanjana kulikonse ku zolaula, kupempha ndalama kapena thandizo la ndalama, ndi zina zotero." Tiyeni tione izi kulankhula siteji wofiira mbendera mwatsatanetsatane.

1. Ndinu malo awo otaya mtima

Kim Kardashian adalemba pa Instagram yake, "Atsikana amatha kuwona kusiyana pakati pa mithunzi 200 ya milomo yamaliseche koma satha kuwona mbendera zofiira." Mawu amenewa ndi oona makamaka kwa mtsikana amene amanyalanyaza mbendera zofiira chete polankhula ndi mnyamata pa intaneti. Timakonda kunyalanyaza mbendera zofiira zomwe zimayang'ana pankhope zathu. Zomwe titha kuziwona m'magawo oyamba ndi kutalika kwake kapena momwe kumwetulira kwawo kulili kokongola.

Mumadziwa bwanji ngati siteji yolankhulira ikuyenda bwino? Izo sizimayamba ndi inu kukhala wothandizira wawo. Ngati m'masiku oyamba akukambitsirana, amatha kutaya katundu wawo wamalingaliro pa inu, mwina mutha kuwoloka pamndandanda wanu wa mbendera zofiira. Gawo lolankhulirana ndilokhudza kulumikizana pazokonda ndi zomwe sakonda. Kumvetsera mavuto a munthu wina popanda kuwadziwa bwino kungakhale kovuta. 

2. Amakusowa usiku wokha

Izi zimandibwezeranso ku mawu a nyimbo yotchuka ya Arctic Monkeys, "Tsopano nthawi yakwana 3 koloko m'mawa ndipo ndikuyesera kusintha malingaliro anu, Ndakusiyani ma missed call angapo ndi uthenga wanga, mumayankha kuti, N'chifukwa chiyani mumangondiimbira foni mukakhala pamwamba?"

Mukudabwa kuti amakuganizirani bwanji koloko ikafika 3 AM? Inde, ndi imodzi mwa mbendera zofiira kuti muyang'ane mu gawo loyankhulana. Nthawi ina akadzakufunsani kuti akutumizireni maliseche, ingotumizani chithunzi cha misomali yanu yamaliseche yomwe mwangochita kumene. Kapena chithunzi cha Zakudyazi (chifukwa 'noods'). Nthabwala padera, ngati zonse zomwe akufuna kuchita ndikutumizirana mameseji, ndi chizindikiro chamavuto. Chidziwitso cha Fuccboi. Thamangani mbali ina.

3. Anzanu ndi achibale anu amadana nawo

Mukukumbukira pamene munali mwana ndipo amayi anu ankadana ndi mnzanu wina? Mukukumbukira momwe "Ndinakuuzani" nkhope ya amayi anu pamene mnzakoyo anamaliza kukubwezani? Inde, nthawi zina otifunira zabwino amatha kuona mbendera zofiira zomwe sitingazione. Akhulupirireni akakuuzani kuti munthu amene mukulankhula naye si woyenera kwa inu. 

4. Kuyang'ana kuyankhula siteji wofiira mbendera? Gaslighting ndi imodzi mwa izo

Kodi kuyatsa gasi kumatanthauza chiyani? Pooja akutiuza ife, "Gaslighting mu maubwenzi ndizovuta zamalingaliro zomwe munthu angakupangitseni kukayikira nokha ndikuyamba kukhulupirira zenizeni zomwe amakudyetsani. Pokambirana, ngati wina amakutsutsani nthawi zonse, kunyozetsa kapena kunyalanyaza malingaliro anu ndi zomwe mwakumana nazo m'moyo, ndiye kuti zitha kukhala chizindikiro choyambirira cha kuyatsa. "

Research akusonyeza kuti wounikira gasi angayese kuthyola kalilole wanu wodziwonera nokha kuti muyambe kudzikayikira. Oyatsa gasi amagwiritsa ntchito njira monga kukana, kusokonekera, kutsika, ndi kunama. Chifukwa chake, ngati muwona zizindikiro zoyamba zokayikitsa kuti ndinu oganiza bwino, ndiye kuti ndi imodzi mwamabendera ofiira.

5. Kupempha thandizo la ndalama kapena ndalama

Kodi mbendera zofiira ndi ziti polankhula ndi munthu pa intaneti? Ngati akukupemphani ndalama chifukwa ali mu 'mwadzidzidzi', ndi chizindikiro chachikulu chochenjeza. Mofananamo, ngati iye akuyembekezera kuti kulipira kumapeto kwa tsiku lililonse komanso kukhala dalaivala wake payekha, ndi kulankhula siteji wofiira mbendera msungwana. Ngati simungathe kusiya kumvetsera Pandekha ndi Kayan, ndiye chinthu chomaliza chomwe mungafune ndikulankhula ndi munthu yemwe amakufunsani ndalama. Mawu a nyimboyi amapita, "Ndimakonda ndekha, eya ... Ndalama ndipanga ..."

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6. Amayipitsa pakamwa akale awo onse

Ngati amalankhula zosasangalatsa za exes awo onse ndi momwe onse anali poizoni, mwina exes awo si okhawo amene ali ndi mlandu. Osagula maso awo agalu agalu ndi nkhani zawo za momwe amaonera komanso kusweka mtima. Kusintha kwa mlandu ndi chizindikiro choyambirira cha toxicity. Bwanji ngati akukunyozani zinthu zikavuta pakati panu?

7. Amaledzera kapena kukwezeka nthawi zonse

Pooja akugogomezera kuti, "Mtundu uliwonse wa kudalira mankhwala kapena kumwerekera kungapangitse munthuyo kukhala wosakhazikika m'maganizo ndi kukhala paubwenzi wokhazikika. Sitikunena za kapu ya vinyo wa apo ndi apo. Koma ngati munthu amene mukulankhula naye amamwa mowa kwambiri kapena chamba ngati njira yothanirana ndi vutoli, chonde samalani. Izo zikhoza kukhala mmodzi wa kulankhula siteji wofiira mbendera monga mmodzi wa zizindikiro zodzikayikira.

Palibe chosowa kafukufuku zomwe zimayenderana ndi kumwa mowa komanso nkhanza za anzawo. Chifukwa chake, ngati amadzitcha mwanthabwala kuti ndi 'chidakwa cham'malire', mwina ndi nthawi yoti mufufuze. Mwina, mndandanda wa zibwenzi zofiira uli ndi zambiri zokhudzana ndi inu kuposa munthu amene mukulankhula naye.

8. Kuwombera kwachikondi ndi imodzi mwa mbendera zofiira zoyankhulirana

Pooja akufotokoza kuti, "Chikondi chochulukira, chochulukirachulukira chimatchedwa chikondi bomba. Wolandirayo akumva kuthedwa nzeru ndi chikondi chochuluka chomwe chikutsanulidwa pa iwo mwadzidzidzi. Komabe, izi zitha kukhala mbendera yofiyira nthawi zina chifukwa izi zitha kuwonetsa kuti winayo akuyesera kukuchititsani khungu pokuwonetsani chithunzi chabwino kwambiri. ”

Research limasonyeza kuti anthu okonda mabomba ali ndi mikhalidwe yambiri yachipongwe komanso kudzidalira. Kugwiritsa ntchito kwambiri zolemba ndi zofalitsa mu maubwenzi okondana ndi chizindikiro cha bomba lachikondi ndipo chifukwa chake mbendera yofiira yolankhulira. Kafukufukuyu akuwonetsanso kuti kuphulitsa kwachikondi kumakhudzana ndi njira zopewera komanso nkhawa. 

9. Kusakhwima mumalingaliro

Kodi zina mwa zitsanzo za kusakhwima maganizo ndi ziti? Kodi chingakhale chimodzi mwa mbendera zofiira kuti muyang'ane pa zokambirana? Pooja akuyankha kuti: “Ndi kusakhwima maganizo ngati amayembekezera kuti muyankhe mameseji m’masekondi pang’ono chabe ndi kukwiya ngati simutha kuyankha foni yawo.” Nthaŵi zina kumasonyeza kuti iwo sali okhwima mokwanira kuti athetse moyo wanu weniweni kapena wawo.

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10. Nsanje yoopsa kapena kusakhulupirirana

Makasitomala nthawi zambiri amafunsa Pooja, "Ngati wina ali wansanje kwambiri komanso osakhulupirira, kodi ingakhale imodzi mwa mbendera zofiira?" Yankho lake ku funsoli nlakuti, "Ichi ndi mbendera yofiira yotsimikizirika. Ngati panthawi yolankhulana, amayamba kukhala ngati eni ake ndikuchita nsanje komanso osakukhulupirirani, ndi chizindikiro choipa." Kodi nsanje muubwenzi umasonyeza chiyani?

A phunziro inachitidwa pa ophunzira aku koleji mu maubwenzi osakwatirana kuti akhazikitse mgwirizano pakati pa nsanje ndi ubale wapamtima. Kafukufukuyu adatanthauzira zabwino ndi zoyipa za nsanje yachikondi, kusiyanitsa momveka bwino nsanje yamalingaliro / yokhazikika monga "yabwino" komanso nsanje yachidziwitso / yokayikitsa ngati "yoyipa". 

“Kuchita kaduka pang’ono muubwenzi wabwino kuli bwino,” akutero katswiri wa sayansi ya zamoyo Helen Fisher, Ph.D., wolemba buku la Chifukwa Chake Timakonda, “Zidzakudzutsani.” Mukakumbutsidwa kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi wokongola komanso kuti ndinu wamwayi, zingakuchititseni kuti muzichita zinthu mwaubwenzi.” Komabe, nsanje ikakhala yosatha, yofooketsa ndiponso yoonekera poyera, m’pamene pamakhala vuto.”

11. Amakugwetsani mwanthabwala;

Mnzanga, Sarah, akuwotchedwa ndi mnyamata watsopano yemwe akulankhula naye. Amanena zinthu zopweteka kwambiri kwa iye m'dzina la nthabwala zakuda. Koma amadzikakamiza kuti azinamizira kuti ali ndi khungu lokhuthala chifukwa safuna kuwoneka ngati munthu wosachita nthabwala. 

Iye anafunsa kuti, “Ngati ayesa kundigwetsa pansi mwanthabwala kapena kundichititsa manyazi, kodi chimenecho chingakhale mbendera yofiira pabwalo?” Pooja akuyankha kuti, "Chipongwe sichingakhale nthabwala, ndipo nthabwala pamtengo wotsitsa munthu sizingakhale zathanzi. Inde, iyi ndi mbendera yofiira polankhula ndi mnyamata pa intaneti."

12. Salemekeza malire anu;

Ndi zotani zitsanzo za malire amalingaliro mu maubwenzi? Kodi munthu akalemekeza malire athu amatanthauza chiyani? Kodi mungawone bwanji ngati malire akuwoloka pokambirana? Pooja akuyankha kuti: “Zinthu zimene mumaika patsogolo, zosankha zanu, maganizo anu n’zofunika kwambiri. Munthu amene mukulankhula naye angatsutsane ndi zimenezi koma mwaulemu.

13. Kupanda zokonda

Kodi kusakhala ndi zokonda ndi imodzi mwa mbendera zofiira za siteji? Pooja anati: “Pafupifupi aliyense ali ndi chinachake chimene amakonda kuchita panthaŵi yake yopuma. 

Mukuyang'ana mbendera zobiriwira mu ubale ndi kuyesa kusewera ndi malamulo ena omwe adagwirizana pokambirana? Yang'anani wina yemwe ali ndi zilakolako ndi zokonda. Zitha kukhala badminton, kuvina, kujambula kapena kuwonera mafilimu. Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wosangalatsa kukupatsani mitu yambiri yoti mukambirane ndikusunga kulumikizana kwanu kukhala kwatsopano. Chofunika koposa, munthu woteroyo sadzakusiyani mukumva kuti watopa. 

14. Amangofuna kuyankhula pa intaneti

Wina akakulepheretsani mphindi yomaliza, kodi ndiye kuti mukuyenerera kukhala mbendera yofiira? Pooja anati: “Mungathe kukayikira munthuyo akakubisirani kamodzi kapena kawiri.

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Anzanga ambiri amagwiritsa ntchito mapulogalamu azibwenzi kuti azingokhalira kudzikonda. Izo zasankhidwiratu kuti sadzatha kukumana ndi munthu amene akulankhula naye. Koma zimapha kusungulumwa kwawo ndipo zimawapangitsa kumva kuti akufunidwa komanso ovomerezeka. Chifukwa chake, ngati wina apereka chowiringula choyipa nthawi iliyonse mukabweretsa msonkhano pamaso panu, ndi mbendera yofiira yotsimikizika.

15. Safuna kukulitsa ubwenzi

Pooja nthawi zambiri amafunsidwa funso, "Ngati andiuza kuti ali osakonzeka kukhala pachibwenzi, ndiye mbendera yofiyira yolankhulayo?" Yankho lake pa izi ndi lakuti, “Zonse zimatengera nthawi yomwe nonse mwakhala mukukambirana. N’zoona kuti palibe amene angakhale wokonzeka kukhala pachibwenzi akangokambirana kamodzi kapena kawiri. Koma ngati ngakhale atacheza kwa nthawi yayitali, sakufuna kupita patsogolo muubwenzi, zitha kukhala mbendera yofiira. ”

Chifukwa chake, ngati mukuwona munthu yemwe sali patsamba lomwelo ngati inu, muwoloke pamndandanda wanu wokhala ndi zibwenzi zofiira. Kukhala ndi munthu amene sadziwa zomwe akufuna kungakhale kotopetsa. Pa tsiku loyamba, amanena kuti amafuna kukhala mabwenzi basi. Kenako amati akufuna ubwenzi wamba. Amayambanso kutsamira kufunafuna chibwenzi koma amangokhalira kulira pamene zinthu ziyamba kuyenda pang'ono. Kupatula apo, siteji yolankhulirana imakhala yosangalatsa mpaka zinthu zitayamba kukhala zenizeni. 

Pomaliza, chofiira ndi mtundu womwe mutha kukumba mukamatsuka tsitsi lanu koma osati mukakhala pachibwenzi. M'matumbo anu akamakuuzani kuti pali ngozi, dzichitireni zabwino ndikumvera. Komanso, ngati ndinu munthu yemwe nthawi zonse amatha kugwa ndi mbendera zofiira, mwinamwake pali machitidwe ozama kuntchito. Zitha kukhala zambiri zokhudzana ndi zoopsa zaubwana wanu kapena kalembedwe kanu. Katswiri yemwe ali ndi chilolezo atha kukuthandizani kuti muchotse machitidwe ozama otere. Zokumana nazo alangizi pa gulu la Bonobology athandiza anthu ambiri omwe ali m'mikhalidwe yofanana. Nanunso mutha kupindula ndi ukatswiri wawo ndikupeza mayankho omwe mwakhala mukuwafuna.

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