11 Zoyipa Kwambiri Zagona Mu Ubale Ndi Zomwe Zikutanthauza Pa Ubale Wanu

Kufalitsa chikondi

Kodi mabodza oyipa kwambiri paubwenzi ndi ati? Mabodza oyera amapweteka kwambiri kuposa tsitsi loyera, pambuyo pake. Anthu amanyengana wina ndi mnzake ‘m’dzina la chikondi’. Koma kodi zonse zili bwino mu chikondi ndi nkhondo? Nanga kunama kovomerezeka bwanji muubwenzi? Kodi kusaona mtima kungabweretse zotsatira zotani paubwenzi? Tabwera kudzayankha mafunso anu.

Zinali zosiyana kwambiri pamene unkanamiza mayi ako kuti upita kokagona. Ndipo mnzakoyo adakhala 'chibwenzi' chako. Monga momwe zokambirana za Fault in Our Stars zimati, 'Zopanda malire zina ndi zazikulu kuposa zopanda malire zina'. Mofananamo, kodi mabodza ena ndi aakulu kuposa mabodza ena? Kapena kodi kunama n’kulakwa, mosasamala kanthu kuti bodzalo ndi lalikulu kapena laling’ono bwanji? Tiyeni tifufuze.

11 Choyipa Kwambiri Bodza Mu Ubale Ndi Zomwe Akutanthauza Pa Ubale Wanu - Zawululidwa

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Kodi anthu amanama kangati m'banja? Kafukufuku wodabwitsa akusonyeza kuti okwatirana amanama katatu pa sabata. Zachidziwikire, izi zikuphatikizapo mabodza monga chinyengo koma popeza zimachitika sabata iliyonse, zitha kukhala zazing'ono ngati "Ndibwera kunyumba nthawi yake lero". Ndipo izi zikutifikitsa pamndandanda wa mabodza oyipa kwambiri muubwenzi:

1. “Ndimakukondani”

Ichi ndi chapamwamba. Kuuza wina kuti mumamukonda, kungofuna kupeza chinachake mwa iye ndi njira yonyenga. Pansi pamtima, mumadziwa kuti simumawakondanso koma mumanena chifukwa simukufuna kuwataya. Zendaya atauza Rue kuti, "Ayi, sundikonda, umangokonda kukondedwa", zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kuchokera ku Euphoria.

Monga momwe zilili mu seweroli, ubale womangidwa pa mabodza supita kulikonse. Posakhalitsa, mnzanu adzazindikira kuti simukutanthauza zimenezo mukanena kuti mumawakonda. M'malo mwake, munganene kuti, “Hei, ndimakukondani. Ndikuona tikupita kwinakwake. Tiyeni tiyambe chibwenzi ndi kuona komwe zikupita. Ndikufuna kukudziwani bwino.” Sungani mawu akuti “ Ndimakukondani ” kuti mudzakhale nawo mtsogolo (mukadzatsimikiza).

2. “Ndisiya kusuta”

Mabodza ang'onoang'ono muubwenzi si-aang'ono kwambiri. Pamene mnzanga Paul akuuza bwenzi lake Sarah, “Ndisiya kusuta”, iye akudziwa mkati mwake kuti iye sadzasiya. Koma Sara amakhulupirira zimenezi nthawi zonse. Ndiyeno tsiku linafika pamene iye amanunkhiza izo m'manja mwake ndipo pamapeto pake amamenyana nazo. Sarah sakutha kukhulupirira Paulo tsopano, osati za kusuta kokha komanso za iye kusunga mawu ake. Umu ndi momwe zinsinsi ndi mabodza zimawonongera maubwenzi.

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Chifukwa chake, ngati mwakhala ngati Paulo, kuli bwino kutsimikiza kapena kupanga malonjezo pomwe mukutanthauza. Munganene kuti: “Ndakhala ndikuyesera kuchepetsa ndudu zanga. Ndatsika ndudu imodzi patsiku. Ndimasinkhasinkhanso kuti ndikhazikike mtima pansi. Koma muyenera kundileza mtima” m’malo monyenga mnzanuyo molunjika.

Kuti mudziwe zambiri zothandizidwa ndi akatswiri, lembani ku njira yathu ya YouTube. Dinani apa

3. “Ndiwe wabwino kwambiri pabedi”

Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti akazi 80% amanama kuti amagonana akamagonana. Ine ndinanama ndipo ndinawononga ubale wanga mwa kuchita chimodzimodzi. Mnzanga anakhumudwa kwambiri atazindikira pambuyo pake kuti ndinkanama kuti ndimakonda kugonana nthawi yonseyi. Anandiuza kuti “Si bodza laling'ono muubwenzi wathu. Ndi chizindikiro chakuti simukundikhulupirira mokwanira ndipo mukufuna kundisangalatsa, koma mukuwononga chimwemwe chanu.”

Tsopano, ndikayang’ana m’mbuyo, ndikanachita zinthu mosiyana. Ndikanangomuuza zomwe zimandisangalatsa pabedi komanso zomwe zimanditembenuza. Iye sakanakhala wodabwitsa pogawana zamatsenga zake. Chotero, panalibe chifukwa choti ndimvere zimenezo. Chotero, m’malo monama paubwenzi, khalani ndi makambitsirano osamasuka amenewo. Chomwe chimafunika ndi mphindi zochepa zolimba mtima. Zidzakhala zovuta poyamba koma kuona mtima kukakhala chizolowezi, kudzakhala kotheka.

4. “Muyenera kuchita bwino”

Ndi bodza loipa kwambiri lomwe munthu anganene muubwenzi, monga " Si iwe, ndi ine ". "Uyenera zabwino" ndi mtundu wa chifundo chabodza chomwe nthawi zambiri chimamasuliridwa kuti, "Ndasiya kukukonda. Sindikuganiza kuti ndiwe wabwino mokwanira kwa ine. Sindikudziwa za iwe koma ndikuyenera zabwino."

Kodi izi zikutanthauza chiyani paubwenzi wanu? Lilibe mzati wodalirika wodalirika. Simuli okhudzika mokwanira kuti munene moona mtima zakukhosi kwanu ndipo mumanyenga mnzanuyo. Ubale wanu ulibe chitonthozo chofunikira. Ndi malo omwe nonse muyenera kuyenda pazipolopolo za mazira ndikupotoza mawu kuti munyenge, m'malo mongokhala owona mtima.

5. “Ndine wosweka”

Kodi munanamizapo wokondedwa wanu kuti 'waphwanyidwa'? Kunama paubwenzi pa nkhani ya ndalama n’kofala. Tsiku lina wachibale wanga anandiuza kuti: “Ndinanama ndi kuwononga ubwenzi wanga ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga, ndipo tinaganiza zogwirizanitsa ndalama zathu koma ndinasunga khadi la ngongole pambali kuti nditetezeke.

Choncho, m’malo mopangitsa mnzanuyo kukhumudwa chifukwa chokhala pachibwenzi ndi wabodza, ingobwerani momveka bwino pazachuma chanu. Kambiranani moona mtima za ngongole ndi mapindu. Funsani mnzanuyo kuti, "Tiyenera kusonkhanitsa ndalama zingati? Tisunge tokha zingati?" Pezani uphungu wa zachuma, ngati pakufunika. Zotsatira zomvetsa chisoni za kusaona mtima m’chibwenzi n’zakuti chinyengo cha zachuma chingakhalenso chifukwa cha chisudzulo.

6. "Ndili pamwamba pa wakale wanga"

Synthia amauza mtsikana wakeyo kuti, “Ndinathedwa nzeru kwambiri. Pakadali pano, Synthia sangathe kusiya kuzembera wakale wake pa Instagram. Amapitilizabe kumutsekera ndikumumasula ex block. Amayimbanso pavidiyo ndi mkazi wake wakale usiku kwambiri.

Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wabodza ngati Synthia kungakhale kopweteka. Zimene Synthia akuchita kwenikweni ndi njira yonyenga pang'ono. Koma n'chifukwa chiyani anthu amanama muubwenzi? Kafukufuku wokhudza mabodza muubwenzi akusonyeza kuti kupewa chinyengo kumapangitsa anthu kumva bwino. Zimatchedwa 'kukwiya kwa wonyenga'.

Kuchita zinthu zosayenera ndi zoletsedwa kumapangitsa anthu kuika zofuna zawo mmalo mwa "zoyenera" zawo. Chifukwa chake, chidwi chawo chonse chimapita ku mphotho yanthawi yayitali / zilakolako zazing'ono, m'malo mongoganiza za zotsatira zanthawi yayitali monga kudzichepetsera kapena kuwononga mbiri.

7. “Sindinkatanthauza choncho”

Nthawi zina anthu amanena zinthu zonyoza m'dzina lakuti 'zoseketsa' kenako n’kunena kuti “Sindinanene choncho” ngati mungakhumudwe. Ili ndi bodza loipa kwambiri paubwenzi . Zachidziwikire kuti ankanena choncho. Amangoliphimba ngati nthabwala. Ngati mnzanu akukukhumudwitsani ndikukupangitsani kudzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa, ndiye kuti ndi vuto lalikulu. Simuyenera kukhala munthu amene sagwirizana ndi mfundo zanu zazikulu.

Mwachitsanzo, kuchita manyazi kapena kuseka nkhope ya munthu si zoseketsa. Ngati china chokhumudwitsa chachitika kwa inu ndipo mnzanu akuseka, sizoseketsa. Zochitika ngati izi zitha kuwononga thanzi lanu lamalingaliro. Ngati muwona kuti izi ndizofanana, ingotsimikizani ndipo lembani malire omveka bwino ponena kuti, "Mvetserani, sindikuganiza kuti izi ndi nthabwala. Mwina yesani nthabwala zatsopano (Zomwe zikuphatikizapo kusakhala wankhanza?)"

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8. “Mulungu, ndikanakonda nthawiyo ikanakhala yabwino”

Ili ndi limodzi mwa mabodza oyipa kwambiri muubwenzi. Osagwa nazo. Zomwe amatanthauza kwenikweni ndi "Ndatopa kwambiri kukhala pachibwenzi chakutali. Ndiloleni ndifufuze mankhwala osokoneza bongo ndi kugonana wamba mwamtendere." Palibe chinthu monga nthawi. Ukakonda munthu, umayesetsa kuti zitheke, zivute zitani. MUmapanga nthawi yoyenera.

9. “Sindikudziwa kuti ndinaiwala bwanji kufufuta mapulogalamu amene ndinali nawo pa chibwenzi”

Ngati mwaonapo Tinder kapena Bumble pafoni ya mnzanu, mwapeza bodza loyera muubwenzi. Mukakhala otanganidwa kuphika cheesecake yomwe amakonda, mwina anali otanganidwa kupempha wina kuti akupatseni maliseche pa intaneti. Musatenge chinyengo pa intaneti mopepuka. Anthu omwe amachita zinthu za pa intaneti ndi omwe ali pamndandanda wa anthu onyenga.

Ndipotu, kafukufuku wina adapeza kuti mwa akuluakulu 183 omwe anali pachibwenzi, oposa 10% anali ndi ubale wapamtima pa intaneti, 8% anali ndi nthawi yogonana pa intaneti ndipo 6% adakumana ndi anzawo pa intaneti. Oposa theka la anthu omwe adawafunsawo ankakhulupirira kuti ubale wa pa intaneti unali wosakhulupirika, ndipo chiwerengerochi chinakwera kufika pa 71% pa nkhani yogonana pa intaneti ndi 82% pa nkhani yokumana maso ndi maso.

10. "Ndine ndekha"

Mnzanga Pam anali kumuwona mnyamatayu kwa miyezi ingapo. Iwo anali okongola kwambiri ndipo iye anali kugwa kwa iye. Koma tsiku lina zonse zinasintha. Ali m’bafa anapeza chithunzi cha mkazi wake ndi ana ake mufoni mwake.

Anandiyimbira foni akulira nati, “Wakhala akundinamiza nthawi yonseyi! Sindingakhulupirire kuti ndakhala ndikuchita chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wokwatira.” Chochitika chimenecho chinachitika miyezi ingapo yapitayo koma akadali ndi vuto la kudalirana pankhani ya amuna. Izi ndi zotsatira za kunama pachibwenzi.

Mmodzi wa makhalidwe apamwamba a abodza ndi kukhutiritsa maganizo awo kuti iwo akuchita chinthu choyenera. Mwachitsanzo, "Ndinachita kamodzi kokha" kapena "Kuuza wokondedwa wanga kumawapweteka kwambiri ndipo kotero, ndikumuteteza pomunamizira" zonsezi ndi zitsanzo za chitetezo cha m'maganizo kubisa mabodza mu maubwenzi.

11. “Iyi si hickey, ndi kulumidwa ndi udzudzu”

Ngakhale kuti zimamveka zodabwitsa, ena abodza samawonekera, ngakhale atagwidwa. Chifukwa chake, ngati m'matumbo anu akukuuzani kuti pali china chake chovuta kunena kuti "Ndikugwiranso ntchito usiku uno" kapena "Osadandaula, ndife abwenzi apamtima", mvetserani.

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Komanso, ngati muli kumbali ina ndipo ndinu amene mukunyenga mnzanu, ndi bwino kuvomereza m'malo mogwidwa ndi nkhanza. Ndipotu, mawu akuti “Ndinanama koma tinakonza ubale wathu moleza mtima” amamveka bwino kwambiri kuposa akuti “Ndinanama ndipo ndinawononga ubale wanga”. Malinga ndi kafukufuku , ubale wanu uli ndi mwayi waukulu wopulumuka ngati mungoulula.

Zomwe Kunama Kumachita Paubwenzi

Kodi mungatani ngati wina akunamizani pachibwenzi? Poyamba, muyenera malangizo amomwe mungawone munthu wabodza. Nazi zizindikiro zosonyeza kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wabodza:

Kusagwirizana kwa makhalidwe ndi kusiyana kwa nkhani zawo
Sichoncho kuyankha mlandu
Mwachangu kukutembenuzirani magome/ kuchotsa zowunikira
Kudzitchinjiriza kwambiri / kumenyera kumbuyo / kukankhira kumbuyo pa chilichonse
Osafuna kutsutsa ngakhale pang'ono

Ndipo zinsinsi ndi mabodzawa amawononga bwanji maubwenzi? Nazi zina mwazotsatira za kunama pachibwenzi:

Kumawononga mlingo wa kukhulupirirana ndi kulemekezana
Mlandu ndi manyazi kwa amene akunama
Kuchepetsa ubwenzi wakuthupi ndi wamalingaliro
Wonama amadzudzulidwa ngati wodzikonda
Munthu amene akunama amadziona ngati ‘chitsiru’ chifukwa chokhulupirira mabodzawo
Bodza limodzi limatsogolera ku linzake ndipo limakhala ngati lupu losatha
Wabodza sadaliridwanso, ngakhale atasintha
Othandizana nawo amayesetsa kubwererana wina ndi mnzake pobwezerana
Kuwonongeka kwa thanzi lamalingaliro / thupi kwa onse awiri

Kodi zotsatira za kusakhulupirika muubwenzi ndi zotani ? Malinga ndi kafukufuku , chinyengo muubwenzi chimabweretsa kudabwa, mkwiyo, chisoni ndi kukhumudwa. Bodza loipa kwambiri muubwenzi limawonjezeranso kukayikira ndi ludzu lofuna kubwezera. Pomaliza, kafukufukuyu akuwonetsa kuti "vuto" ili likhoza kugwira ntchito ngati posinthira ubale, zomwe zingayambitse 'kuwonongeka kwa ubale' kapena 'kugwira ntchito pa ubale'.

Ubale womangidwa pa mabodza umabweretsa osati kupsinjika maganizo kokha komanso kupsinjika kwakuthupi. Ndipotu, kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kunena mabodza ochepa kumabweretsa thanzi labwino. Mwachitsanzo, pamene ophunzira mu gulu losanama adanena mabodza atatu ochepa kuposa omwe adachita m'masabata ena, adakumana ndi madandaulo ochepa okhudza thanzi la maganizo (kumva kupsinjika/kukhumudwa) komanso madandaulo ochepa akuthupi (kupweteka pakhosi/mutu), ofufuza adapeza.

Koma, izi sizikutanthauza kuti mumauza mnzanu chilichonse chaching'ono cha moyo wanu. Kodi kunama kovomerezeka bwanji muubwenzi? Palibe vuto kudzisungira zinthu zina. Izi ndizosiyana kotheratu ndi 'mabodza osiyidwa'. Mwachitsanzo, kusatchulapo kuti wakale wanu wakutumizirani mameseji kungakhale bodza losiya. Koma kubisa zimene munakambirana ndi mnzanuyo sikuona kuti ndi bodza.

Komanso, ngati mwakhala mukusunga zinsinsi ndi mnzanu, ndi bwino kuulula nkhaniyo. Ndipotu, mabodza sabisika kwa nthawi yayitali. Mwachitsanzo, nenani mawu akuti “Hei, ndinakumana ndi chibwenzi changa tsiku lina ndipo tinamwa limodzi. Palibe chomwe chinachitika pakati pathu koma ndimafunadi kunena zoona.” Musanene kuti “Nthawi zonse mumachita zinthu mopitirira muyeso ndipo ndichifukwa chake ndimayenera kukubisirani zinthu”. Izi zingawoneke ngati mawu onyoza.

Ngati ndinu wabodza wokhazikika, nthawi zonse mutha kupempha thandizo la akatswiri. Mofananamo, kodi mungachite chiyani munthu wina akakunamizani muubwenzi? Kupindula ndi chithandizo chamankhwala kuti mubwezeretse chidaliro kungakhale njira yoyenera yopitira patsogolo. Kuzindikira kuti ubale wanu unali bodza kungakhale kovuta kwambiri. Alangizi athu ochokera ku gulu la Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

Zolozera Mfungulo

Bodza loipitsitsa kwambiri paubwenzi likhoza kuyambira pa kusonyeza chikondi kuti upeze chinachake m'malo mwake, kunama kuti zasintha m'mbuyo.
Kusakhulupirika ndi chinyengo sizimangokhalira kunyenga komanso kumaphatikizapo kupereka ndalama kwa wokondedwa wanu
Kunena zinthu zotanthawuza m'dzina la 'nthabwala' kapena kusonyeza chifundo chabodza kumakhalanso mabodza oyipitsitsa pachibwenzi.
Kunama kumabweretsa kupsyinjika kwa maganizo ndi thupi kwa onse awiri
Mabodza osiyidwa ayenera kupewedwa (koma izi sizikutanthauza kuti muli ndi ngongole kwa okondedwa anu kuti auze chilichonse chokhudza moyo wanu)

Pomaliza, choyipa kwambiri chagona pachibwenzi chimavulaza onse omwe akukhudzidwa. Kudzidalira kwa munthu wabodza kumakhudzidwa chifukwa cha liwongo ndi manyazi zomwe zimatsagana ndi kunama. Ndipo amene ananamizidwa amadziona kuti ndi wonyozeka komanso waperekedwa. Kotero, pamene wina anafuula “Wabodza Wabodza, mathalauza akuyaka,” ine ndikuganiza iwo amatanthauza “Wabodza Wabodza, mitima ili pamoto”.

Ibibazo

1. Ndani amene amanama kwambiri paubwenzi?

Zonse zimadalira nkhani ndi mtundu wa bodza. Malinga ndi kafukufuku , amuna amagwiritsa ntchito mabodza odzikonda, nthawi zambiri kuposa akazi. Kafukufuku wina amasonyezanso kuti amuna ndi omwe nthawi zambiri amanena mabodza akuda komanso mabodza oyera odzipereka kuposa akazi.

2. Kodi mabodza angawononge ubale?

Inde, mabodza angawononge ubwenzi mwa kuyambitsa kusakhulupirirana, kukayikirana ndi ludzu lofuna kubwezera. Zimayambitsanso kuwonongeka kwakukulu ku thanzi lamaganizo ndi thupi la okondedwa awo.

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Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Wina Wagona Paubwenzi

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.