Malangizo 11 Omanga Ubale Wopambana Pambuyo pa Kunyenga

Kusakhulupirika ndi chizindikiro, osati matenda enieni. Kusakhulupirika ndi chizindikiro chakuti ubale wasweka mwanjira ina. Ngakhale kuti banja lililonse limakumana ndi vuto laubwenzi pambuyo pa chinyengo, ena amasweka, ena amatha kupulumuka. Ngati mwakhala mukukakamira, mukuganiza momwe mungapangire ubale wabwino mutabera, tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni ndi upangiri waubwenzi mutabera. Koma choyamba, tiyeni tione manambala amene akusonyeza mmene kubera anthu okwatirana.

Malinga ndi kafukufuku wa Institute of Family Studies, chiwerengero cha maubwenzi omwe amagwira ntchito pambuyo pa chinyengo ndi 23.6% mwa okwatirana achikulire. 13.6% yokha ya okwatirana achichepere omwe ali muubwenzi wodzipereka amapulumuka chinthu choopsa chonchi. Chifukwa chomwe okwatirana achikulire, omwe ndi okwatirana azaka zopitilira 40, anali okonzeka kumanganso ubale wabwino pambuyo pa chinyengo ndi kuthekera kwawo kuvomerezana ndikumverana chisoni. Ubale wawo wakhalapo kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo kulakwitsa kokha sikungachotse zinthu zonse zabwino zomwe ali nazo kale.

Koma okwatirana azaka za m'ma 20 sapulumuka kusakhulupirika nthawi zambiri chifukwa sanakhalepo odalirana m'maganizo ndipo ali ndi njira zambiri zotseguka. Okwatirana azaka za m'ma 30 ndi anthu enieni omwe amasinthasintha ndipo angakudabwitseni ndi zomwe amachita. Ngati mwakhala mukudabwa ngati mungathe kumanganso ubale wanu mutasiya kudalira mnzanu wanu, ziwerengero za kuchuluka kwa maubwenzi omwe amagwira ntchito mutachita chinyengo ndizolimbikitsa kwambiri. Tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kumvetsetsa momwe mungayambitsirenso ubale mutachita chinyengo ndi malingaliro ochokera kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wa CBT, REBT, ndi uphungu wa maanja.

Kupitilira Pamodzi Pambuyo Pachigololo

Kubera mosakayika kudzamva ngati dziko lanu likugwera pansi mozungulira inu. Mafunso monga momwe mungabwezeretsere chikhulupiliro muubwenzi angakhale akuthamanga m'maganizo mwanu, ndikubweretsanso mafunso ambiri kuposa mayankho. Kulikonse mukayang'ana, mudzauzidwa kuti maubwenzi opambana pambuyo pa chinyengo kulibe, koma ife tiri pano kuti tikuuzeni mosiyana.

Ngati mnzanu kapena mwatsimikizadi kupanga pambuyo pa kunyenga, palibe chifukwa chomwe sichingagwire ntchito. Udzakhala ulendo wautali, wovuta koma kugwira ntchito paubwenzi pambuyo pa kunyenga sikutheka. Ngati zonse zomwe mukuganiza ndi momwe banja lanu lidzakhalire pambuyo pa kunyenga, ndikofunika kukumbukira kuti pamapeto pake mumadziwa njira yomwe banja lanu limatenga. Padzakhala zopinga ndi kukayikira zomwe zingagonjetsedwe koma khama lokhazikika komanso lozindikira kuchokera kwa onse awiri lingathe kumasulira kupita patsogolo kwambiri pakumanganso ubale wabwino pambuyo pa chinyengo.

Chidaliro chikatha, zimakhala zovuta kumanganso ubale mutachita chinyengo. Kukhulupirirana kumakhudza ubale , tingati. Chofunika kwambiri ndikukhala limodzi mutachita chinyengo osati kuganiza ngati munthu payekha. Kudzipereka ndi kuvomerezana kumafunika kuti okwatirana amange ubale wabwino mutachita chinyengo. Ngati mungathe kuyika chikondi patsogolo pa kudzikuza kwanu kapena kudzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa, pamenepo ndiye kuti ubale ungabwererenso mwakale mutachita chinyengo.

“Ndinanyenga koma ndikufuna kusunga ubale wanga koma sindikudziwa momwe ndingathetsere vutoli ndikulumikizana ndi mnzanga,” akutero Joshua, pambuyo poti chibwenzi chake ndi mnzake wa kuntchito chadziwika, kenako n’kukhala chete kwa nthawi yayitali pakati pa iye ndi mnzawoyo. Nandita akufotokoza kuti vutoli ndi lofala kwambiri pakati pa okwatirana omwe akuyesera kupitirira zomwe zimachitika chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika muubwenzi wawo.

“Kusokonekera si kwachilendo pamene okwatirana akuyesera kupeza njira yopitirizira pachibwenzi pambuyo pa chinyengo kapena ngakhale atangovomereza mfundo yaikulu ya kukhulupirirana ndi kukhulupirika yaphwanyidwa.” Kusautsika kumeneku kaŵirikaŵiri kumabwera chifukwa cha kusokonezeka maganizo kumene kumasokoneza mgwirizano wa maganizo, kugwirizana kwa maganizo, ndi kugonana.

"Kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino pambuyo pa chinyengo, m'pofunika kuthana ndi chipwirikiti chamkati ndi maganizo osasangalatsa onse awiri omwe wakubera komanso mnzanu amene adaberedwa akulimbana nawo. Pokhapokha mutapita patsogolo pang'onopang'ono kuchokera ku vuto la chigololo m'pamene mungathe kuganiza zopatsa chibwenzi chanu chatsopano," akutero.

Nthawi zina kuti mubwezeretse chidaliro ndikupulumutsa ubale wanu kuti usakhale wovuta, mumafunika thandizo la munthu wina. Pamenepo ndi pomwe uphungu ungakuthandizeni. Ngati mwakhala mukuvutika kupeza momwe mungapangire ubale wanu kuti ugwire ntchito mutachita zachinyengo ndipo mukufuna thandizo, alangizi aluso komanso ovomerezeka omwe ali pagulu la Bonoboloy ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Nthano 20 ndi Zowona Zokhudza Kunyenga Muukwati

Malangizo 11 Omanga Ubale Wopambana Pambuyo pa Kunyenga

Amy, mphunzitsi wa biology pasukulu yasekondale, anasungulumwa kwambiri mwamuna wake Mark atasamukira ku Canada kukagwira ntchito kwa chaka chonse. Popeza kuti kusamuka kukanatanthauza kuti Amy asiye ntchito yake yokhazikika ndiponso ana kuchotsedwa, iwo anaganiza zoyesa ukwati wakutali. Miyezi ingapo pambuyo pake, kusungulumwa kudakhalako bwino kwa Amy ndipo adafikira kwa mnzake wapamtima. Chinthu chimodzi chinayambitsanso china ndipo chibwenzi chinayamba.

Mark atazindikira kuti Amy anali kumunyengerera, ukwati wawo unali pamavuto. Mark atawonjezera nthawi yake ku Canada, Amy anazindikira kuti ukwati wake unali wofunika kwambiri kwa iye. "Ndinanyenga koma ndikufuna kupulumutsa ubale wanga," adadzipeza akuganiza nthawi zambiri. Anafikira ndikuchonderera Mark kuti amupatsenso mpata wina. 1 chaka pambuyo kusakhulupirika anabwera kuunika, Mark potsiriza anabwerera kunyumba ndipo iwo tsopano mabanja mankhwala kulingalira mmene ubwenzi ntchito pambuyo chinyengo.

Nkhani zotere za maubwenzi opambana mutachita chigololo zidzakuthandizani kukulimbikitsani ndikukupangitsani kukhulupirira kuti sizingatheke. Komabe, kungowerenga malangizo a chigololo sikungathandize chilichonse chokha. Onse awiri ayenera kukhala okonzeka kugwiritsa ntchito malangizowo mosamala. Malangizo athu paubwenzi mutachita chigololo ndi kuyesa kumanganso ubale wabwino . Ngati pali chikondi, ubale ukhoza kupulumuka kusakhulupirika koma muyenera kuyesetsa kukonza ubale wanu.

Ngati mumangolankhula za kusakhulupirika, ndiye kuti simungathe kupita patsogolo kuti mupeze yankho. Nawa nsonga zina zomwe zingapangitse kuti zikhale zosavuta, ndipo muyenera kukhala okhoza kumanga ubale wopambana mutabera. Talemba nsonga zisanu za amene anabera komanso asanu kwa amene anaberedwa. Nsonga yomaliza ndi yoti nonse awiri muthe kumanganso ubale wanu mutatha kunyenga.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Akazi 5 Avumbulutsa Chifukwa Chake Akhululukira Amuna Awo Onyenga

Kwa Wosakhulupirira - Kubwezera Chikhulupiriro Ndikofunikira

Anthu amabera pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana, ndipo nthawi zambiri, chinyengo chimagwirizana kwambiri ndi katundu wamaganizo ndi kalembedwe ka chikondi cha wobera kuposa momwe amaonera mnzawo ndi ubale wawo. Pazochitika zotere, chisangalalo cha chibwenzi chachinsinsi chikatha ndipo ubale wanu waukulu ukayamba kusokonekera, mutha kuthera nthawi yambiri mukuganiza kuti, "Ndinabera koma ndikufuna kupulumutsa ubale wanga. Ndikanadziwa momwe ndingakonzere ubale pambuyo pa chinyengo ndi kunama."

Nandita anati: “Chifukwa chakuti munthu wachitira chinyengo mnzawo, kaya mwa kugonana kapena kuchita chigololo, sikuyenera kukhala kutha kwa chibwenzicho.

Ndiye mungakonze bwanji ubale mutabera ngati ndiwe amene adanyenga? Maziko amphamvu ndi khama ndiye mawu osakira pano. Ndipo mnzako wonyenga, gawo la mkango la ntchitoyo lidzagwera pamapewa ako. Ngati mukufuna kupita patali, malangizo otsatirawa akuyenera kukuthandizani kudziwa momwe mungayambitsirenso chibwenzi mutabera:

1. Pepesani

Kuti munthu akonzenso ubale wabwino atachita chigololo, chinthu choyamba chomwe munthu ayenera kuchita ndikupepesa. Simungathe kukhazikitsa malire a kangati komwe muyenera kupepesa, ndi kwa mnzanuyo kusankha. Kamodzi kapena kawiri sikokwanira. Muyenera kupepesa kwa mnzanuyo chifukwa nthawi zambiri zimafunika kuti akhulupirire kuti mukuchita izi kuchokera pansi pa mtima.

Mukakhumudwitsa munthu wapafupi kwambiri ndi inu muyenera kutenga nthawi ndi khama kuti muyambenso kudalira. Choncho khalani owona mtima komanso pafupipafupi popepesa. Komabe, ngati mnzanuyo amakupepesani tsiku lililonse kwa nthawi yosatha, zingatanthauze kuti sadzakukhululukirani, chomwe ndi chizindikiro chodetsa nkhawa.

Pamene mukuyesera kudziwa momwe mungapitirire pachibwenzi pambuyo pa chinyengo, kumbukirani kuti chisankho sichingakhale chanu chokha. Mutha kupepesa chifukwa cha zolakwa zanu, tsimikizirani mnzanuyo kuti simudzabwereranso mumsewu umenewo, ndikulola kuti chisoni chiwonetsere kudzera muzochita zanu, chisankho cha kukhululukirana ndi kukhala pamodzi kapena kupita mbali zosiyana zimakhala ndi mnzanuyo. Muyenera kuvomereza kuti ziribe kanthu momwe mukufunira kumanganso ubale wabwino pambuyo pa kunyenga.

2. Vomerezani kulakwa

Kungopepesa sikungathandize. Muyenera kuyang'anizana ndi nyimbo pomuuza mnzanu zomwe zinachitika. Mutha kuyesanso kangapo, chifukwa mnzanuyo amatha kukumana ndi mkwiyo komanso mkwiyo mukamafotokoza zambiri. Izi ndi pokhapokha ngati mnzanuyo akukana kumvera ndikusankha kukana. M’malo molola mnzanuyo kukhala wokana, yesetsani kuti akambirane nanu.

Kuti mumange ubale wabwino mutachita chinyengo, kukhulupirika kwathunthu kumafunika. Mukangoyika tsatanetsatane patebulo pomwe mnzanuyo angasiye kuganizira za nkhani yokokomeza m'mutu mwake. Ndipo ayi, si chifukwa cha zifukwa zomwe mumapereka zochitira chinyengo kuti zitsimikizire nkhani yonse. Ubale wanu mutachita chinyengo, kwa kanthawi, ungawoneke ngati kuphatikizana kwa ndewu, kukana, ndi kulira kwambiri. Koma imeneyo ndi mtengo womwe muyenera kulipira ngati mukufuna kugwira ntchito paubwenzi mutachita chinyengo.

Komabe, povomereza kulakwa ndi kuvomereza zolakwa zanu, m’pofunika kuti musamadzichitire nkhanza. Kudziona ngati wolakwa kungachititse kuti munthu ayambe kudziona ngati wolakwa, ndipo zimenezi zikhoza kukhala ndi zotsatirapo zake pa thanzi lanu. Kuti zimenezi zitheke, Nandita akulangiza kuti: “Yankho la mmene mungakonzere chibwenzi pambuyo pa chinyengo ndi kunama lingakhale lodzifufuza modzidzimutsa, zomwe zingakuthandizeni kudziwa chimene chinali cholakwika kwambiri ndi ubwenzi wanu mpaka kukuchititsani chinyengo.

“Kuti muthe kuchita zimenezo m’njira yoyenera, muyenera kukhala ndi maganizo odekha.” N’chifukwa chake kuli kofunika kuti musamadzichitire nkhanza kwambiri.

3. Khalani poyera

Khalani omasuka pa zolinga zanu: kaya mukufunadi kukhala muubwenziwu kapena ndi chizindikiro chakuti mukufuna kupitiriza moyo wanu. Ngati mukufuna kukhalabe, ndiye kuti muyenera kuvomereza kwa mnzanu chifukwa chomwe munachitira zachinyengo poyamba. Kodi n’chiyani chomwe sichinali chosangalatsa muubwenziwu? Kodi munkafuna china chake chomwe chinali kusowa muubwenziwu?

Nthawi yomwe mutenge poyang'ana mozama ikuthandizani kuti mupeze yankho lomwe mukufuna kuti muzichita kukhulupirika kwathunthu ndi kuwonekera mu ubale wanu. Musanalowe momwe mungapangire ubale wogwira ntchito pambuyo pa kunyenga, muyenera kudziwa chifukwa chake mukufuna kumanga ubale wanu kuchokera pansi mutatha kunyenga mnzanu. Muyenera kukhala woona mtima ndi inu nokha ndi mandala ndi mnzanuyo kuti athe kumanga ubale bwino pambuyo chinyengo.

Pochita izi, ndikofunika kuthana ndi mafunso monga awa: Ndi kusintha kotani komwe simukanatha kupirira komwe kudapangitsa kuti muchite izi? Mumaganiza chiyani mutasankha kubera mnzanu? Kodi mungatani kuti mupewe chinyengo china? Popanda kuwonekera, sipakanakhala kupita patsogolo. Kuti muyambitsenso ubale wabwino pambuyo pa chinyengo, kuwonekera poyera ndikofunikira.

4. Kudzipereka nsembe

Ufulu ndi mwayi womwe simungautenge mopepuka. Monga mwayi uliwonse, umabwera ndi zofunikira zina. Koma tsopano popeza mwagwiritsa ntchito molakwika mwayi wanu, ndi nthawi yoti musiye ufulu wanu kuti mubwezeretse ndikukhazikitsanso chidaliro muubwenzi . Tsegulani foni yanu, gawani mawu anu achinsinsi, ndi zina zotero. Chofunika kwambiri, musadandaule za kuchita zinthu izi.

Masitepewa angawoneke ngati ovuta, koma maubwenzi pambuyo pa chinyengo samawoneka ngati maubwenzi abwino. Kuti muthane ndi chinyengo, pangakhale zinthu zina zomwe muyenera kuzipereka. Ndipo simungatchule nthawi yomwe zimatenga nthawi yayitali kuti mnzanuyo akukhulupirireni mokwanira kuti zinthu zibwerere momwe zinalili. M’malo mwake, pali mwayi woti ubwenzi wanu sudzabwereranso mmene unalili kale.

Chifukwa chake, musakhumudwe ndi malingaliro ngati “Mnzangayo adandifunsa komwe ndili ngakhale patatha chaka chimodzi nditachita chigololo, mwina sangandikhulupirirenso.” Chinsinsi chomanga ubale wabwino pambuyo pa kunyenga ndikuvomereza kuti equation yanu mwina siyibwereranso ku mawonekedwe ake achinyengo. Komabe, chimenecho sichinthu choyipa kwenikweni. Mwina, izi zikupatsani mwayi wokonza zovuta zomwe mudazinyalanyaza kwa nthawi yayitali ndikusintha ngati banja. Kumbali yakutsogolo, zitha kutanthauza kuti nthawi zonse mumakhala osakhulupirirana ndi mnzanu.

5. Perekani nthawi yochulukirapo

Amati, nthawi imachiritsa chilichonse, koma sizovuta. Muyenera kumupatsa nthawi mnzanuyo kuti achire kuvulala komwe mwayambitsa. Ululu umapangitsa anthu kukhala akhungu komanso obwezera. Koma ngati mnzanuyo asankha kukhala, ndiye kuti akuchitapo kanthu paubwenzi, tsopano ndi nthawi yanu.

Ngati mukuganiza kuti, "Kodi mungabwezere bwanji chikhulupiliro muubwenzi", zidzangochitika pakapita nthawi. Tsoka ilo, si chinthu chomwe mungathamangire. Choncho, khalani okonzeka kupatsa mnzanuyo nthawi yochuluka momwe angafunikire kuti athetsere zowawa, zowawa, ndi kuperekedwa kuti afikire pamene angathe kuganiziranso mwayi womanganso ubale wabwino pambuyo ponyenga mbali yanu.

Kwa Wozunzidwa - Kudaliranso

Momwe mungapangire ubale wabwino pambuyo pa chinyengo? Funsoli likhoza kukhala ndi tanthauzo losiyana kwambiri kwa mnzanu yemwe wakhala akupusitsidwa, ndipo mwachibadwa, njira yomanganso ubale wabwino pambuyo pa kunyenga ndi yosiyana. Poyamba, kuti agwire ntchito paubwenzi pambuyo pa chinyengo, munthu amene adanyengedwa ayenera kukhulupirira.

Nandita anati: “Kupeza mmene mungayambitsirenso chibwenzi pambuyo pa chinyengo, pamene inuyo munanamizidwa sikophweka.” Mudzakumana ndi maganizo osiyanasiyana, kuyambira kukwiya mpaka kuipidwa, chisoni, chisoni, ngakhale kudziimba mlandu.

"Iyi ndi njira yodzimvera chisoni yomwe idzaika zinthu zambiri pamalo oyenera. Tengani nthawi yopuma paubwenzi wanu kuti muthetse malingaliro amenewa. Apo ayi, malingaliro onsewa omwe mwakhala mukuwabisala adzapeza njira yotulukira mwa kudzudzula mnzanuyo. Potero, mutha kunena zinthu zopweteka zomwe zingalepheretse mwayi wokhala limodzi ndikuchira ngati banja."

Momwe mungapitirire muubwenzi pambuyo pa chinyengo zingawoneke ngati chiyembekezo chowopsya pamene mwapwetekedwa kwambiri ndipo simungathe kukhulupirirana koma mukhoza kudutsa siteji iyi ngati mukuyenda bwino. Malangizo otsatirawa oti muchite bwino pa ubale akuyenera kukuthandizani ngati mwapezeka kuti ndinu wovutitsidwa chifukwa chobera:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 8 Zokhululukira Munthu Wonse Amene Anakupusitsani

6. Landirani kupepesa

Yankho la momwe mungayambitsirenso ubale pambuyo pa kunyenga mabodza ndikutha kukhululukira mnzanu chifukwa cha zolakwa zawo, kusiya zakale ndikuyang'ana kutembenuza tsamba latsopano muubwenzi wanu. Tikudziwa kuti zimamveka ngati kupepesa si kanthu pambuyo pa zowawa zomwe wokondedwa wanu adakubweretserani koma ndi sitepe yoyamba. Ndi malo anu kudziwa ngati kupepesa kuli koona kapena ayi.

Tengani nthawi yanu, musafulumire, ndipo vomerezani kupepesa kokha ngati m'matumbo anu akunena kuti ndi yeniyeni. Si ntchito yanu kupanga bwenzi lanu lachinyengo momasuka muzochitika izi. Koma ngati mwasankha kukhululuka ndi kukhulupilila, onetsetsani kuti mwacita zimenezo mocokela pansi pa mtima ndi kuyang’ana kupyola pa kuipidwa kumene kukunamizani. Uwu ndiye upangiri wathu wofunikira kwambiri paubwenzi kwa inu pambuyo pa kubera kumawononga kwambiri ubale wanu.

7. Khalani otseguka

Khalani omasuka ku lingaliro lakuti mnzanuyo akhoza kusintha. Ziyenera kukhala zovuta kuvomereza pakali pano koma kusankha kukhala kumatanthauza kukhala womasuka ku lingaliro la kusintha. Zinthu sizingabwererenso momwe zinalili kale koma ngati muli omasuka ndikuvomera zomwe zikubwera, ndiye kuti mudzafika pachimake chatsopano. Izi zitha kukhalanso chiyambi cha ubale wabwino.

Ponena za kukhala womasuka, ndikofunikanso kukhala wolunjika ndi wowona mtima ndi wokondedwa wanu za momwe mukumvera komanso momwe mumamvera pa zochita zawo. "Pokhapokha ngati onse awiri ali oona mtima kwa iwo eni komanso kwa wina ndi mnzake, sangamvetsetse chifukwa chomwe ubale wawo udakhudzidwa ndi kusakhulupirika kwamphezi komanso mbali za ubale wawo zomwe akuyenera kuyesetsa kuonetsetsa kuti sizichitikanso.

“Pokhapokha mukakhala oona mtima komanso omasuka ndi wina ndi mnzake za momwe mukumvera komanso zomwe mukuwona kuti ndi nkhani zofunika kwambiri paubwenzi ndi pomwe mungayambe kupita patsogolo kuti mukonzenso ubale wabwino mutatha kuchita zachinyengo,” akutero Nandita. Kwa inu monga mnzanu wonyenga, izi zikutanthauza kufunsa mafunso oyenera kwa mnzanu wosakhulupirika , kukhala wolankhula bwino za momwe mukumvera komanso kulandira maganizo awo.

8. Chidziwitso chomanga ubale wabwino pambuyo pa chinyengo

Monga tanenera kale, kusakhulupirika ndi chizindikiro chabe, osati matenda. Muyenera kuyang'ana ming'alu yomwe idawonekera muubwenzi usanachitike kusakhulupirika. Simuyenera kuimbidwa mlandu chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika kwa mnzanu; ndi udindo wawo wonse. Ndipo simuyenera kudzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa chifukwa cha zolakwa zawo.

Koma muyenera exhume zifukwa chifukwa ubwenzi wanu ndi kulankhulana analephera kwambiri moti simunazindikire ngakhale kusintha khalidwe mnzanuyo. Kodi panali zosoŵa zosakwanira zomwe zinakankhira wokondedwa wanu mumsewu wa kusakhulupirika? Kodi ubwenzi wapamtima udagunda muubwenzi wanu ngakhale mnzako asananyenge? Kodi nonse munayika ubale wanu mosadziwa pamene mumayang'ana kwambiri ntchito zanu zapakhomo ndi zantchito? Kodi pali mavuto aliwonse osathetsedwa omwe amakulekanitsani?

Mayankho a mafunsowa adzakuthandizani kudziwa chomwe chinakulitsa kusiyana pakati pa inu ndi mnzanuyo kotero kuti gawo limodzi mwa magawo atatu alowe mu equation yanu. Sitingathe kubwereza mokwanira kuti izi sizikutanthauza kuti muli ndi udindo pazochita ndi zisankho za mnzanuyo. Komabe, kudziwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri kungakuthandizeni kuzithetsa ndikupusitsa ubale wanu kupita patsogolo.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 5 Zotsimikizika Kuti Mnzanu Akukunyengani - Musanyalanyaze Izi!

9. Perekani kudzikuza

Ululu umene umabwera chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika umachokera ku lingaliro lobisika la kukhala ndi zomwe zimakupangitsani kumva kuti mnzanuyo ndi katundu wanu. Koma mukudziwa, sizili choncho. Ngati mukuda nkhawa ndi zomwe ena angaganize za inu akapeza kuti mnzanuyo anabera, muyenera kukumbukira kuti maganizo a ena alibe kanthu.

Upangiri wathu waubwenzi pambuyo pa kunyenga udzakhala wongoganizira za inu awiri. Ndivuto pakati pa inu awiri ndipo yankho likhoza kukwera kuchokera mwa inu. Musalole kuti anthu akhazikitse mtunda pakati panu pamene mukuyesera kuti izi zitheke pakati panu. Usamayese cholakwa cha mnzako ngati lupanga pamutu pake.

Ngati patatha chaka chimodzi mutachita chigololo kapena kuposerapo, mukunena kuti anakunyengani pankhondo iliyonse kapena anagwiritsa ntchito njira imeneyi kuti akupezeni zomwe mukufuna, ndiye kuti mukugwiritsa ntchito njira yonyenga, yomwe ingakhale yovulaza mofanana ndi kuphwanya chidaliro muubwenzi. Pankhaniyi, muyenera kukhala pansi ndikuganizira ngati mukufunadi kupulumutsa ubalewu kapena mwasankha kukhalabe chifukwa kusuntha ndiye njira yoopsa kwambiri. Ndikofunikira kupewa zolakwika zotere zoyanjanitsa pambuyo pa chigololo ngati mukufuna kupatsa ubale wanu mwayi wopulumuka.

10. Khalani omvetsetsa

Ngati wokondedwa wanu akuyesetsa kuthana ndi vutoli ndikukhala nanu, muyenera kudziwa kuti ndinu wofunika bwanji kwa mnzanuyo. Tsopano ndi nthawi yanu yopereka chithandizo. Tikudziwa kuti munakuberedwa koma musalole kuti izi ziwononge zabwino zonse zomwe muli nazo pakati panu. M'malo mwake, mumagwira nawo ntchito yomanganso maziko a chikhulupiriro mu ubalewo poyamikira zoyesayesa zomwe mnzanuyo angachite kuti athetse kuwonongeka ndikuyandikira njira yotsitsimutsa ubale wanu kuchokera kumalo achifundo.

"Chifundo chingakuthandizeni kwambiri kudziwa momwe mungapitirire muubwenzi mutachita chigololo. Yesetsani kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake mnzanuyo anachita zomwe adachitazo ndikukhulupirira zomwe akukuuzani. Komanso, khalani ndi chikhulupiriro kuti nonse mwadzipereka kumanganso ubale wabwino mutachita chigololo. Mukayesetsa kutsimikizira kuti akumva chisoni, chikhululukiro muubwenzi chidzatsatira," akutero Nandita.

Kwa Mabanja - Pangani Maubwenzi Opambana Pambuyo pa Kunyenga, Pamodzi

Palibe aliyense wa inu amene angadziwe chinsinsi cha momwe mungakonzere chibwenzi mutachita chinyengo ndikugona nokha. Kumanganso ubale pambuyo poti wawonongeka kwambiri monga kusakhulupirika kumafuna kudzipereka ndi khama limodzi. Kupatula zinthu zomwe nonse muyenera kuchita payekha kuti mudutse magawo osiyanasiyana ochira kusakhulupirika , muyeneranso kugwira ntchito limodzi kuti mulimbitse ubale wanu. Nayi chinthu chofunikira kwambiri chomwe muyenera kukumbukira kuti muchite izi:

11. Ikani malire otsimikizirika

Ubale uliwonse uyenera kukhala ndi malire koma umakhala wofunika kwambiri pamene okwatirana akuchira ku vuto la chinyengo ndikuyesera kubwezeretsanso ubale wawo. Choyamba pankhaniyi chiyenera kukhala kufotokozerana zomwe mukuganiza kuti ndi zoona pa chinyengo. Kwa ena, kungakhale kukopana ndi mnzanu wamba pomwe kwa ena kungakhale kugona ndi munthu wina. Mukangokambirana za izi, mwayi woti munthu achite cholakwika umachepa kwambiri.

Nonse muyenera kumvetsetsa malire omwe mungafufuze. Ndikofunikiranso kulimbitsa malirewa ngati pakufunika. Mwachitsanzo, ngati chibwenzi cha mnzako chinayamba ndi kuthera nthawi yochuluka ndikucheza ndi mnzanu wa kuntchito kapena mnzanu, simungofunika kukhazikitsa malire powauza kuti kubwereza ndondomekoyi sikuvomerezeka komanso kulimbikitsanso ngati mutawapeza akuwoloka mzere kachiwiri. Choncho, ngati mnzanuyo ayamba kuthera nthawi yochuluka pafoni yawo, mokoma akumbutseni kuti mwavomereza kuti apewe otsetsereka kuti ubalewu ugwire ntchito.

Monga momwe mwadziwira, palibe mayankho osavuta kapena njira zazifupi za momwe mungayambitsirenso ubale mutabera. Komabe, kuyesayesa konseku ndi kudzipereka pakupanga kusintha kwabwino kudzakhala koyenera ngati mumamukondadi wokondedwa wanu ndikuyamikira ubale wanu. Maanja omwe apulumuka ku chigololo amatuluka mwamphamvu kuposa kale. Kupanganso chidaliro ndikokhazikika ndipo palibe chomwe chingabwere pakati pa inu nonse. Kuyambira pano kupita mtsogolo kumayamba mutu watsopano m'moyo wanu womwe simukulowa nawo mwakhungu.

Ibibazo

10 Kubera Zizindikiro Zolakwa Zomwe Muyenera Kusamala

Mawu 10 Okongola Omwe Amatanthauza Ukwati Wachimwemwe

Njira 7 Zomanganso Chikhulupiriro Mu Ubale Wanu Ndi Mkazi Wanu Pambuyo pa Nkhani Yake

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.