Chibwenzi kunja kwa chibwenzi ndi chimodzi mwazochitika zowawa kwambiri zomwe okwatirana angakumane nazo. Kupatula kuphwanya ufulu wogonana, kusakhulupirika kumakhala chilonda chomwe chikuvutitsa ubalewo. Komabe, malinga ndi American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 25 peresenti ya maanja omwe ali ndi maubwenzi okhalitsa amakumana ndi chigololo. Izi zimapangitsa kumvetsetsa kapangidwe ka chibwenzi kukhala kofunikira. Imelo yomwe ndinalandira kuchokera kwa mwamuna wina makumi atatu ndi ziwiri, yemwe amagwira ntchito ku IT ku MNC, yemwe amakhala mumzinda wathu, Delhi, amapereka chidziwitso chachikulu cha momwe zinthu zimayambira komanso momwe zimathera.
Tiyeni timutche Tarun. Kuchokera pazomwe zidabwera m'makalata, ndimatha kudziwa kuti amalandila malipiro abwino, anali wakhalidwe labwino, komanso munthu wabwino nthawi zonse. Tarun, monga amuna ambiri ogonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha masiku ano, anali ndi chibwenzi komanso zokhumudwitsa asanapeze chimodzi. Izi zinali zaka zitatu zapitazo.
Kumvetsetsa Anatomy of An Affair
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Iye analemba kuti: Linali phwando langa laubwana. Anzanga osakwatiwa ankandinyoza - ufulu wanga ukanatha; unyolo ndi mipira, ndicho chimene ukwati uli; moyo wodziletsa, ndi umene walunjika; ndi zina zotero. Ndinangomwetulira mkati. Anali mkazi wamaloto anga, ndipo ndikakhala naye moyo wanga wonse, ndikadafunanso chiyani?
Kodi ukwati sunali ubale wofunika kwambiri m'miyoyo yathu? Ndinayang'ana anzanga awiri onyenga omwe analipo paphwando lija. Kuchokera ku dziko lomwe iwo anali, zinali zoonekeratu kuti zotsatira za zinthu zinali kutali ndi zosangalatsa. Mmodzi, yemwe chibwenzi chake chidawululidwa mwezi wapitawo, ndipo winayo, yemwe nkhawa yake yayikulu inali kusunga mabodza omwe amalankhula mbali zonse ziwiri.
Woyambayo anali pafupi kupatukana ndipo anali kufunafuna uphungu. Iwo ankaoneka kuti anali ndi makhalidwe oipa. Chithunzi cha mtsikana wanga chinawala pamaso panga, ndipo funde lakuya la chilungamo linasesa mwa ine. Sakanakhala mu nsapato za akazi awo!
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Sindinkafuna Kukhala Kansinsi Wake Wauve Wang'ono
'Sizidzachitika kwa ife'
Mtsikana wanga anali wanzeru, wachigololo, wophunzira, komanso anali ndi ntchito yabwino. Anagwira ntchito pakampani yazamalamulo yapafupi. Tinadutsa mwangozi nthawi zambiri pa CCD ndipo tinkangoona ngati tilidi zoyembekezeredwa kukhala pamodzi. Ngakhale kuti tinasankha kuchita zinthu pang’onopang’ono, pakutha kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, tonse tinadziŵa kuti tinalengedwa kuti tizigwirizana. Tinali ndi mapangidwe ofanana pa moyo, tonsefe tinkafuna kuyenda m'dziko ndikulera mwana nthawi ina m'zaka zathu za makumi anayi!
Anandikonda. Ndinachita misala naye. Tinamalizana.
Ndinalowa m'malo osangalala m'banja - kukhutira ndi kugonana kwa mwamuna mmodzi, kugawana ziwopsezo, ndikulonjeza kuteteza ndi kusamalira ena. Magawo okondana anali okhutiritsa kwambiri. Tsopano ndikayang’ana m’mbuyo, ndinganene kuti kukwera kwa chikondi kwa mwamuna mmodzi kunapangitsa kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi yekha kukhala ngati kamphepo! Ndimakumbukira kuti ndinafunsa anzanga ena kuti: “N’chifukwa chiyani munthu angafune kubera?
Vuto mu paradaiso
Pafupifupi zaka ziwiri kutsika, zochitikazo zidasintha kwambiri, osati ndi kudumpha kulikonse koma, m'malo mwake, m'tinthu tating'ono tosafunikira. Chikondi chapatuka pamene kuzoloŵerana ndi kupsyinjika kwa ntchito kumakula. Kugonana kunazirala ndi zomwe zachitikapo, kwenikweni! Makanema a pawailesi yakanema anakhala mnzawo wokhazikika wa chakudya chamadzulo, ndipo zotuluka Lamlungu zinatsatira chizoloŵezi cha wotchi.
Tinagwiritsitsana pang'ono ndi zokhumudwitsa zazing'ono za wina ndi mzake. Chinachake chomwe poyamba tinkachikana ngati chopanda pake, mikangano yaying'ono yomwe idayambitsa kugonana kwakukulu, sizinali zazikulu kwambiri. Palibe chomwe chinali choyipa pa se. kungoti palibe chomwe chinali cholimbikitsa. Moyo unagwedezeka pamodzi ndi quotidian humdrum wokhazikika.
Koma tinali titasanduka gulu limodzi, m’lingaliro lenileni la mawuwo. Tinapanga zisankho zazikulu ndi zazing'ono palimodzi ndipo tinali zotetezera wina ndi mnzake. Chinthu chachikulu chinali mtendere ndi chitonthozo chimene nyumba yathu inatipatsa. Moyo unali wabwino, ngakhale zinali zovuta kwambiri.
athu moyo wakugonana, komabe, adagunda kwambiri. Pamene tinkatembenukirana wina ndi mzake mosaletseka, kugonana kunali kocheperako. Tinakhazikika m'malingaliro athu amasiku a 'yay' ndi masiku 'ayi' ndipo tidavomereza izi popanda kuchita zambiri. M'masiku ake a 'ayi' ndimakonda kuseweretsa maliseche ndipo nthawi zina ndimawonera zolaula mobisa. Mwina nayenso anachita chimodzimodzi.
Masiku a 'yay' ndimakondanso kugonana kwathu mwachizolowezi, koma osati kwambiri; kuyambira nthawi yayitali yachikondi yomwe amakhala nayo, nthawi zambiri, idasandulika kukhala ma quickies. Ndipo tidasunga manambala omwe adayikidwa! Inde, ndizoseketsa, ngakhale sitikamba zambiri zokhudza kugonana, timakhala ndi nthawi zingapo zomwe zimakhala 'zabwinobwino' kwa anthu okwatirana kwa zaka ziwiri. Ngati mukudabwa, zinali kawiri pa sabata.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kupulumuka Pankhani - Njira 12 Zobwezeretsanso Chikondi Ndi Kukhulupirira Ukwati
Kodi zinthu zimayamba bwanji?
Zanenedwa ndi kulembedwa zambiri momwe zinthu zimayambira. Chofunikira chachikulu ndichofanana - chibwenzi, mosasamala kanthu kuti chikucheperachepera bwanji, chimakhazikika m'nthaka ya ubale. Banjali ndilosiyana kwambiri ndipo onse awiri sakufuna kapena sangathe kuvomereza. kuthetsa mikangano.
Iwo amachita ntchito yosesa nkhani pansi pa kapeti mogwirizana kotheratu ndipo mtunda umakula, kupereka mpata kwa munthu wachitatu kuti aloŵemo.
Anali wophunzira, pafupifupi zaka khumi wocheperapo, wokongola, wowona mtima komanso wofunitsitsa kuphunzira kuchokera kwa 'bwana' wake. Zinali zosangalatsa kwambiri kukhala mlangizi wake! Anachita manyazi nditamuyamikira, ndipo anamusamalira kwambiri za bwana nthawi ya khofi ndikukumbukira kuti ndimakonda yanga mokweza pang'ono.
Anandipangitsa kumva ngati mfumu. Inali nthawi imodzi mwamaphwando akuofesi pomwe, kukopeka, Ndinagwira dzanja lake motalika pang'ono kuposa momwe ndimafunira. Usiku umenewo nditachoka kunyumba, ndinaganizira za wophunzira wanga. Ntchito yaying'ono yachikondi, yomwe anali nayo m'mutu mwanga, inali yosangalatsa. Ndinayamba kumuganizira pa nthawi ya 'yay-day' ndi mkazi wanga.
Ndinali wokondwa kwambiri, ndipo zasintha moyo wathu wakugonana kwambiri. Pamene wina alingalira za zotsatira za zochitika kapena ngakhale malingaliro a chigololo chothekera, lingaliro la kuthandiza kwenikweni unansi silimasangalatsidwa.
Zikomo Mulungu palibe amene amadziwa zomwe zimalowa m'mitu yathu! Ndinapezanso chochitika chosangalatsa kwambiri. Ndinayamba kusamalira zovala zanga za muofesi ndi kusunga chiputu kwa masiku atatu. Chilichonse chinkawoneka chogwirizana, moyo wanga wantchito, moyo wanga wapakhomo ndi mkazi, ndi winayo ndi wophunzira mkati mwa maloto anga!
Mizere yosokonekera pakati pa zongopeka ndi zenizeni
Ndiyeno, tsiku lina, monga choncho, popanda kutengeka kochuluka, ganizo linakhala lokakamiza mosalekeza - zingamve bwanji kumugwira thupi ndi magazi? Ndinkadziwa kununkhira kwake, ndipo ndinkafuna kununkhiza pafupi. Anakopekanso, ndimatha kudziwa. Ndinamva kukakamira kufuna kukhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi kwinaku ndikufunitsitsa kudziwa kuti wophunzira angamve bwanji m'manja mwanga!
Ndinkakonda mkazi wanga, koma ndinkamukwiyiranso pang’ono. Kodi sanali chifukwa chonditsekera? Chilakolako chomwe ndidawona m'mafilimu komanso chomwe ndidadziwa kale ndi mkazi wanga chidatha kubwerera ndi wophunzira! Ndipo kudzitama kwa anzanga osakwatiwa ponena za kupambana kwawo sikunandithandize. Nanenso ndinatha kuwauza, chisangalalo chimene ndinali nacho, chochepa chabe chifukwa cha kusachitapo kanthu. Kubera kunakula kwambiri.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: N'chifukwa Chiyani Anthu Ali ndi Zochita? Nayi Nkhani Yanga
Zinafika poipa monga momwe zinthu zambiri zapantchito zimachitira
Ndiye izo zinachitika. Ndinachita zinthu mwachibadwa. Icho chinafutukuka momwemo kwambiri zochitika zapantchito chitani - mwachoka kunyumba kupita kuntchito, nayenso ali komweko, mukukhala ku hotelo imodzi, mpweya uli wodekha, palibe zingwe zomwe zikukulepheretsani ...
Tinali pa msonkhano wa outstation, ndipo ndinalibe mphamvu kachiwiri. Zoletsa zinali zitachepa, nyimbo za Kishor Kumar zidasintha, ndipo adawoneka wokongola mu sari yofiyira yachitsulo. Nditamuitanira kuchipinda kwanga, ndinali wotsimikiza kuti ndisiya kupsompsonana . . .
Nthawi yomwe amachoka, ndinagwira mutu wanga m'manja. . . Ndikanachita bwanji izi? Zili ngati mu mphindi zotsogolera. Sindinathe kuganiza bwino kapena kuganiza za china chilichonse kupatula inu mukudziwa. . .
Ndinkakonda mkazi wanga, ndipo wophunzitsidwayo sanali wofunika kwa ine. Sizinali ngati kuti iyi inali imodzi mwa nkhani zamaganizo zomwe zimayika tsogolo la ubale pachiswe. Koma mkazi wanga akanatani akadziwa? Ndinadziimba mlandu ndi kuda nkhaŵa pambuyo pa cholakwa choyamba koma ndinachileka. Komabe, maganizo akuti, 'Kodi zonse zadziwika?' anapitiliza kudziguguda m'maganizo mwanga.
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Nthawi zambiri zinthu zimatha bwanji?
Ndi lingaliro limenelo, ndinaganiza kuti sindidzatero. si choncho momwe zinthu zimathera nthawi zambiri? Zomwe zinali ndi wophunzirayo sizinayenerere kukhala pachibwenzi. Kunali kulakwa kwanthawi imodzi komwe zongoganizira zanga zidandigonjetsa. Ndinkakonda mkazi wanga ndipo sindinkafuna kumutaya chifukwa thupi langa linkalakalaka kugonana ndi wina! Chifukwa chake, ndidayesa kukankhira gawo ili kumbuyo kwanga ndikuchiyesa ngati palibe chomwe chidachitika. Makamaka chifukwa sichinatanthauze kalikonse. Ndinaledzera ndipo zinachitika.
Decoding Zotsatira za Affairs
Imelo ya Tarun yathera apa. Tinasinthanitsa zina zambiri. Tinapita ku chiyambi, nthawi zina usiku. Mu maimelo ambiri, adalankhula za manyazi ake akulu, kunyenga wolakwa, ndi kukhumudwa kwake chifukwa cholephera kudziletsa. Zilibe kanthu kuti zinthu zitenga nthawi yayitali bwanji. Kusakhulupirika kumatsegula Bokosi la Pandora.
Tinasintha maganizo ambiri, kuyesa kusokoneza chikondi pa lingaliro la kugonana kokha.
Kodi timatani ndi monotony yomwe mosakayikira idzabwera ndi kudzipatula pakugonana? Zili ngati munthu amalakalaka halwa, ndipo pamene munthu adyako, wina amataya mtima. Mtengo wotsutsana ndi mphothoyo ndi wochuluka kwambiri kuposa kudya samosa kapena cheesecake, ndizowona! Koma pa mizu yake, ndi chilakolako cha thupi, sichoncho?
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Nkhani Zambiri Zimadziwikiratu - Njira 9 Zodziwika Bwino Zomwe Onyenga Amagwidwa
Kodi chikhalidwe cha zinthu chikugwirizana ndi kufunikira kwa chisangalalo?
Kodi Tarun ananyenga chifukwa chakuti sankakonda mkazi wake kapena kumusamalira? Iye anati: “Ndikanakhala kuti sindinkamukonda, bwenzi nditasiyana naye eti?
Kapena anabera chifukwa chakuti sanafune kuti mwamuna wake amutaye chifukwa cha kugonana kongosangalatsa? Ndinamufunsanso ngati angakhale bwino ndi chigololo chake wamba. Iye anati, ‘Ndikanamufunsa ngati tingakhalemo ubale wotseguka, koma akanachita mantha. Komanso, sindimadana naye kuti agone ndi munthu wina. Inde, ndikuwona, koma ndikumva chonchi, ndipo ndikuchoka. Ndikukufunsani. Kodi simungatero?'
'Kodi zimenezi zikumveka kwa inu?' Tarun anandifunsa.
Ndimalingalirabe. Zandipangitsa kuti ndidabwe ngakhale ngati ndikotheka kusangalatsa moyo wakugonana m'banja, mwezi ndi mwezi, chaka ndi chaka - monga momwe amanenera zotsatsa zamkati ndi shampagne. Kapena kodi kulengeza kwa mnzakoyo, pamene wina ali m’chilakolako chakuya cha chikondi chakuti adzakhala ndi mwamuna mmodzi yekha kungatengedwe ngati cholinga chake panthaŵiyo?
Ngati kusakhulupirika kwasokoneza ubale wanu, dziwani kuti upangiri wa maanja ndi njira yabwino yothanirana ndi zovuta izi. Ndi gulu lathu la alangizi, thandizo ndi a dinani kutali.
Ibibazo
A kafukufuku yolembedwa ndi IllicitEncounters.com ikuwonetsa kuti 63% yazinthu zimadziwika pomaliza. Obera ena amagwidwa m’chibwenzi chawo choyamba, ena chachiwiri kapena chachitatu. Ziribe kanthu kuti ndinu ozembera bwanji komanso mwakhala mukusewera motetezeka bwanji, nkhani zachinsinsi zimatha kuwonekera. Mutha kugwidwa ndi chibwenzi chanu, kapena meseji yosavuta ikhoza kukupatsani mnzanuyo. Kulephera kutsatira mabodza onse omwe mwakhala mukuponya kungayambitse kukayikira kwakukulu. Nthawi zina kudziimba mlandu kwambiri kumakakamiza anthu kuti achite zoipa.
Malinga ndi phunziro, zinthu zochepa kwambiri zimasintha kukhala maubwenzi opambana. Osakwana 25% mwa achiwembu amasiya zibwenzi zawo zoyambira kupita pachibwenzi. Ndipo 5 mpaka 7% yokha ya zinthu zomwe zimatsogolera ku ukwati. Kafukufuku wina nkhani akuti "m'chikondi" gawo la chibwenzi nthawi zambiri limatenga miyezi isanu ndi umodzi mpaka khumi ndi isanu ndi itatu. Komabe, kugwirizana kwapakati pakati pa okonda awiri kumakhala chinthu chachikulu chomwe chimasankha nthawi ya chibwenzi. Chifukwa chakuti ubwenzi womwe ndi wakuthupi umatha potsirizira pake ndi kutha kwa chilakolako choipa.
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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Ndikuyesera kudziwa ngati dokotala wanga wokwatiwa akundimenya. Iye ananena zotsatirazi pa nthawi yoikika zingapo:
Ndimakunyadirani kwambiri
Muli ndi kumwetulira kwabwino
Nthawi zonse ndimasangalala kukuwonani
Ndinu munthu wabwino
Nthawi zonse mumawoneka bwino
Ndimakonda nsapato zanu
Ndimasangalala ndi kukhala kwanu
Ukuwoneka wotentha
Paulendo wanga woyamba adandipatsa maso okwera. Anandiseka kamodzi. Nthawi ina ndidafunsa za kuyambitsa pulogalamu yolimbitsa thupi ndipo adandiuza kuti ndiyenera kupita ndekha kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi (??) Adandiuzanso masewera omwe amasewera panthawi yake yopuma komanso adandiuza komwe amakhala (ndinafunsa).
Anavulanso mphete yake yaukwati kamodzi ndikuisintha kudzanja lina ndikubwerera pamene tikukambirana!
Pa nthawi yanga yomaliza amakamba za moyo wake, kundifunsa komwe ndinachokera, ndi zina zotero. Kenako anayima patsogolo panga asanandifufuze ndipo popanda chenjezo lililonse adandikumbatira. Ndinadabwa kwambiri chifukwa chinabwera popanda chenjezo. Kenako adandifunsa ngati ndikufunitsitsa kundikumbatira ndipo ndidakana.
Nthawi yomaliza yomwe ndinapita kunali kozizira komanso kutali. Komanso, nthawi zambiri amalera mkazi wake. Akungosewera nane?!
Sindikudziwa komwe amapita ndi izi. Kodi uku ndi kukopana kopanda vuto? Kodi ali ndi zolinga? Chifukwa chiyani akutentha komanso kuzizira? Sindingayankhule ndi aliyense za izi ndipo ndasokonezeka kwambiri?!
Chonde tilembereni mwatsatanetsatane pa [imelo ndiotetezedwa] ndipo tikhala ndi katswiri wathu kuti akuyankheni. Timamvetsetsa nkhawa zanu ndipo inde, ziyenera kuthandizidwa.
Pali mayankho ambiri ku izi. Kawirikawiri, anthu amasokoneza chikondi ndi udindo komanso kukhala ndi katundu. Pankhani ya Tarun, zomwe Tarun anali nazo kwa mkazi wake zinali zokopa komanso kutengeka mtima. Pamene mwamuna ndi mkazi ayamba ulendo pambuyo pa ukwati, udindo wa wina ndi mzake umayamba. Mwachiwonekere, patatha zaka zingapo zoyamba, kuyendetsa kugonana kumachepa ndipo ndizochitika ndi onse. Koma m’kupita kwa nthaŵi okwatirana ayenera kukhala ogwirizana kwambiri m’maganizo. Kupanda kutero, anthu amasokoneza udindo wawo ndi chikondi. Ndawonapo mabanja ambiri kuphatikiza za ine ndekha, pamene okwatirana amakonda (chikondi chopanda dyera) kugonana kwa wina ndi mzake kumachitika mwachisawawa osati kuti amakonzedwa ngati ntchito yapakhomo yoperekedwa kusukulu ndipo ngati sizichitika kubisala kapena kudandaula. Komanso ngati pali chikondi chopanda dyera, kupezeka kwa bwenzi lanu kumabweretsa chisangalalo ndi mtendere m'malingaliro ndipo simumva chilichonse chopanda pake. Komanso, mosazindikira, kachitidwe kakang'ono kachikondi kamachitika komwe kamayambitsa chisangalalo chachikulu chomwe chimaposa kugonana. Okwatiranawa samabera m'moyo wawo chifukwa amakhala ndi chikondi chopanda dyera pomwe kugonana ndi chiponde. Palibe kukopa m’dziko lakuthupili kumene kungawapangitse kubera. Ngati wina wapatsidwa Benz ndi kazembe ngati njira yaulere, amene angayendetse kazembe amangosankha benz. Okwatirana omwe amalawa chikondi chopanda dyera, chisangalalo chake ndi chosaneneka chomwe chimalumikizidwa mwachindunji ndi mzimu womwe uli mbuye wamalingaliro ndi malingaliro ena, sangafune kugonana komwe kuli chiponde & ngati kazembe. Tarun safuna kumasula mkazi wake chifukwa ali ndi nsanje / wansanje kumasula, wokhazikika kuti kusamalira mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi chikondi koma chomwe ndi udindo. Munthu yemwe ali ndi chikondi chopanda dyera kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wake, amafuna kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wake asangalale ndikugwira ntchito kuti akwaniritse zomwe amapeza. Ndiye chikondi chimakhala CHAMULUNGU. Chikondi chikakhala chaumulungu chomwe chidzawapatsa kukhutitsidwa, chisangalalo ndi mtendere & palibe mphamvu padziko lapansi yomwe ingawapangitse kubera. Ngati chikondi sichiri chopanda dyera, munthu ayenera kugwiritsa ntchito luntha pa chabwino kapena choipa apo ayi palibe kusiyana pakati pa nyama ndi munthu. Pa ukwati, mkazi kuvala mphete mwamuna chala. Kwa anthu ambiri ndi mphete koma kwenikweni ndi moyo wa akazi anu, malonjezo omwe mwamulonjeza omwe amapereka chikumbutso chosalekeza. Koma amuna ambiri amaiwala kuti ali ndi mphete. Mofananamo, mwamuna amamangiriza mangala sutra kwa mkazi wake. Kodi mkazi anganyenge bwanji ndimadabwa zomwe zimamukumbutsa mwamuna wake? Ndi anthu otsika bwanji angayimire kunyenga kusiya manyazi, ulemu ndi zina?