Zizindikiro 11 Zochenjeza Kuti Mukukhazikika Pazochepa Mu Ubwenzi Wanu

A ntchito choncho. Ubale wabwino. Moyo wangwiro. Izi sizinthu zomwe maloto athu owopsa kapena zokhumba zathu zimapangidwira. Ndipo komabe, pamene zenizeni zikuyenda, kodi ndi kangati komwe timakhala tikukhazikika? Kodi ndi kangati timaiwala zomwe tikufunadi kuti tipeze chowonadi cholekerera?

Zanenedwa kuti ngati mutapeza ndalama zochepa kuposa zomwe mukuyenera, mwayi udzapeza zochepa kuposa zomwe munakhazikika. Ndiye ndi zizindikiro ziti zomwe mukuzipeza muubwenzi? Ndipo mumasiya bwanji kukhazikika pazochepa? Tisanalowe mu izi, tiyeni tiwone kaye momwe kukhazikitsira zochepa kumawonekera.     

Kodi Kukhazikika Pazochepa Kumatanthauza Chiyani?  

Ndiye kukhazikika pa zochepa kumatanthauza chiyani? Kumatanthauza kusiya zinthu zomwe zimakufotokozerani, zikhulupiriro zomwe zimasonyeza kuti ndinu ndani, ndi makhalidwe omwe ali pachimake chanu. Ndi kuletsa mawu anuanu. Ndi kuvomereza zinthu zochepa kuposa zomwe mukufuna kapena zoyenera, ngakhale zitakupangitsani kukhala osasangalala. Ndipo ndizosiyana ndi kunyengerera. Umu ndi momwe.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 9 za Kusagwirizana Paubwenzi

Kuthetsa vs compromise

Maubwenzi onse achikondi amaphatikizapo kusintha kwina ndi kupereka ndi kutenga. Ndipo sizingakhale zofanana nthawi zonse. Masiku ena, mutha kupemphedwa kuti mupereke zambiri kuposa zomwe mumapeza. Kwa ena, mutha kukumana ndi theka kuti muchite zomwe zikuyenera kuchitika. Nthawi zina, zingatanthauze kuvomereza kusagwirizana ndikupeza njira yopitira patsogolo monga gulu.

Zimenezo ndi kuvomerezana. Zimachokera ku zolinga zoona, kulankhulana bwino, kuvomerezana, komanso kusamalira zomwe mukuyembekezera muubwenzi . Sizikusokoneza mfundo zanu. Komanso sizikutanthauza kuti musiye zikhulupiriro zanu ndikutenga za mnzanu.

Kulolerana ndi anthu awiri kulemekeza zolinga za moyo wa wina ndi mzake ndi zilakolako zawo. Ndi za kumanga ubale womwe umapangitsa onse awiri kukhala okhutira ndi kukwaniritsa zomwe angathe. Ndipo ndi kuzindikira kuti chikondi ndi kusankha osati kumva.

Ngakhale kuti pamafunika awiri kuti agwirizane, kuvomereza zochepa nthawi zambiri kumaphatikizapo phwando la m'modzi. Kukhazikika ndi mbali imodzi. Kumaphatikizapo kudzimana zokhumba zathu ndi zosowa zathu, kukhalabe paubwenzi wopanda kanthu, ndi kusiya zonse zomwe timakonda ndi zikhulupiriro zathu kuti tisangalatse wokondedwa wathu, ngakhale zitakhala kuti zingawononge ifeyo.

Chifukwa chiyani ndimangokhalira kukhazikika pazochepera? 

Chifukwa chiyani ndimangokhalira kukhazikika pazochepera mu ubale? Ngati ndi funso lomwe mukufunsa, tili ndi mayankho. Nazi zina mwazifukwa zomwe zimachititsa kuti anthu asamangokhalira kukondana:

• Iwo ataya nthawi yochuluka muubwenzi ndipo amamva kuti ali ndi udindo wokhala nawo 
• Akumva kukakamizidwa kuti akhazikike kapena kutopa kudikirira munthu woyenera, kapenanso, yemwe angapangitse mtima wawo kuyimba. 
• Akuda nkhawa ndi zomwe ena angaganize ngati ataya ubale wawo 
• Mwina n’kumadziona kuti ndi wotsika, zomwe zikuwapangitsa kuganiza kuti sakuyenera kuchita zambiri
• Kapena, ayang'ana mozama padziwe lawo lomwe likucheperachepera ndipo sakuganiza kuti angapeze wina wabwinoko kuposa mnzake wapano.
• Chifukwa china chachikulu chimene anthu amakhalira kuti asakhale pa chibwenzi: kuopa kukhala mbeta, malinga ndi Stephanie S. Spielmann, wolemba wamkulu wa buku lina. phunziro pa mutuwo. 

Kuopa kukhala mbeta kumapangitsa anthu kuika patsogolo ubale wawo ndi kuchepetsa maubwenzi, kafukufukuyu wapeza. Imeneyo si njira yokhayo yopezera chimwemwe chokhalitsa, thanzi labwino m'maganizo, ngakhale moyo wathanzi. Kupeza zochepa sikungakupangitseni kukhala munthu wopambana, kusiya nokha munthu wokhutira. 

Ndiye mungasiye bwanji kukhazikika pang'ono? Chabwino, sitepe yoyamba ndiyo kuzindikira ndi kuvomereza kuti muli. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 9 za Kudzidalira Kwambiri Mu Ubwenzi

Zizindikiro 11 Zochenjeza Kuti Mukukhazikika Pazochepa Mu Ubwenzi Wanu 

Mzere pakati pa kunyengererana bwino ndi kukhazikika pazochepa muubwenzi sudziwika nthawi zonse ndipo umakhala wosawoneka bwino pamene zisankho zikukulirakulira. Ndiye ndi liti pamene kupereka ndi kutenga kumakhala kosayenera? Kodi ndi liti pamene zimasonyeza ubale woipa umene umatilepheretsa kudziona tokha ndikumasiya zomwe tili? Nazi zizindikiro zochenjeza zomwe simukufuna kuchita pa chibwenzi:

1. Mukunyalanyaza ophwanya malonda anu

Kodi ndikungopeza zochepa? Ngati funsoli likukuvutitsani, yang'anani kwa omwe akuphwanya malonda anu. Ndi zinthu ziti zomwe simungathe kuzilekerera mwa okondedwa anu? Kunama? Kupanda ulemu? Kusokoneza? Kusakhulupirika? Mwina munangoganizapo za iwo okha. Mwina munathetsa maubwenzi m'mbuyomu chifukwa cha iwo. 

Kodi tsopano mukudziona kuti mukunyalanyaza pang'onopang'ono zinthu zosayenera kuchita pa chibwenzi kapena mukupirira makhalidwe omwe simukuwakonda? Ndiye pali mwayi waukulu woti mudzakhala ndi nthawi yochepa ndi mnzanu wanu wapano.

2. Mumadzipeza mukudzilungamitsa zomwe amachita

Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani tikamaopa kukhala osakwatiwa ndikuwona kuti ubale uliwonse ndi wabwino kuposa wopanda ubale konse? Titha kusankha bwenzi lomwe tikudziwa kuti si wabwino kwa ife kapena kumamatira ku ubale wosasangalatsa, malinga ndi kafukufuku wa Spielmann. Ndipo kenako nchiyani? 

Timakambirana tokha. Timafunafuna zifukwa zotithandiza kufotokozera chifukwa chake tili pachibwenzi kapena chifukwa chake tikupirira mnzanu amene akuchita zochepa muubwenzi . Ndipo timapeza zifukwa za makhalidwe oipa omwe timakumana nawo. Kudzikhululukira kumatipangitsa kuti tikhumudwe komanso kuti tisamayembekezere zinthu zomwe sitinakwaniritse. Ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino zosonyeza kuti sitikufuna zambiri muubwenzi.

3. Mukuwalola kuti akuchitireni zoipa

"Ndikudziwa zomwe zimachitika mukakhazikika. Agogo anga aakazi ankadziwa ndipo maukwati awo onse anali osasangalatsa, odzaza ndi ndewu, nkhanza, kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, komanso chiwawa," akukumbukira Isabelle Grey, wogwiritsa ntchito Quora.

Kulola wina kukuchitirani zoipa ndi chizindikiro chachikulu, chonenepa, choyaka moto chokhazikika paubwenzi. Sizilinso zabwino kwa kudzidalira kwanu. Monga wolankhula zolimbikitsa Steve Maraboli akuti, ngati mungapirire, mudzatha. Chifukwa chake, khalani ndi miyezo yomwe mukufuna ndipo musakhazikike pang'ono kuposa zomwe mukuyenera. Makamaka, musamangokhalira kuzunzidwa kapena kuzunzidwa. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 11 Zoyenera Kuchita Munthu Akakuchitirani Zoipa Mu Ubwenzi

4. Zosowa zanu sizikukwaniritsidwa

Ndi zinthu ziti zomwe mumayang'ana muubwenzi? Kodi ubale wanu wapano ukukwaniritsa zosowa zanu zambiri? Ndipo ayi, izi sizikutanthauza kuyang'ana pa ubale mwa kudzikonda. Kusapeza chilichonse chomwe mungafune kuchokera muubwenzi kapena mphindi iliyonse ndikwabwinobwino, koma kulekerera zosowa zonyalanyazidwa kapena zosakwaniritsidwa sikuyenera. Komanso ndi njira yopita ku resentmentville.

5. Simungathe kukhala nokha pafupi nawo

Ubale ndi kusiyana kwa anthu awiri akubwera pamodzi ndi kulola wina ndi mzake ufulu ndi chitetezo kukhala iwo eni. Koma ngati mupeza kuti mukungokonda zokonda zanu kapena mukuyimirira, kubisala mbali zonse za moyo wanu kapena moyo wanu, kapena mukuwona kufunika kowonera zomwe mukunena, ndi nthawi yoti mukhale oona mtima ndi inu nokha ndikupeza chifukwa chake. 

6. Kulankhula nawo si gawo lokonda tsiku lililonse

Mwina munayamba ndi makambirano ausiku kapena mafoni osatha. Mwina, nthawi ina, palibe chomwe chinkaoneka chachikulu kapena chaching'ono kwambiri choti chikambidwe. Koma tsopano, kaya ndi nkhani ya zochita za tsiku ndi tsiku, zinthu za tsiku ndi tsiku, kapena zisankho zazikulu pa moyo, mumadzipeza mukuluma. Kapena, mukuyamba kukhutira ndi kusalankhulana kapena kusafunsidwa konse.

Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, ngati simungathe kuyankhula ndi mnzanu moona mtima komanso momasuka, sizingapindule ndi ubale wanu kapena inu m'kupita kwanthawi. Ndi chinthu chimodzi kukhala womasuka mukakhala chete, chinanso kumakanizidwa ndi iwo.

7. Mukuyimitsa moyo wanu

Ubale wabwino umalola onse awiri kuchita bwino ndikuwunika momwe angathere. Ngati nthawi zonse mumayika zolinga zanu pamoto wammbuyo kapena kupereka maloto anu ndi zolinga za moyo wanu kuti mukhalebe paubwenzi, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro chomveka kuti mukukhazikika pang'ono.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kuyanjananso Mu Ubale: Tanthauzo Ndi Njira Zomangira

8. Ubale wanu suli wokwanira

“Nthawi zonse m’maubwenzi akale ndinkamva kuti ‘ndikukhazikika’ pamene ubalewo unali wabwino kwambiri, koma pamapeto pake sunali wokhutiritsa,” akutero Phe Tong, wogwiritsa ntchito Quora . Ndiye kodi mnzanuyo amakupangitsani kumva bwanji? Kodi pali zinthu zomwe zimakusangalatsani nthawi yayitali pambuyo poti zoyambira zatha? Kodi mumamva kuti ndinu wofunika komanso woyamikiridwa? Kodi mumamva kuti mwakhutiritsidwa? Kodi mukukhutira ndi momwe zinthu zilili? Kodi muli ndi chimwemwe muubwenzi wanu? Kodi pali chilakolako chilichonse? Kodi mumasangalala ndi kukhala ndi mnzanu wapano?

Ngati sichoncho, ndiye nthawi yoti muganizire bwino. Ubale wabwino udzakudzazani, osati kukusiyani muli ndi njala. Ndipo ndithudi sudzakusiyani mukukhumudwa ndi kumva kuti simukuyamikiridwa.

9. Mukupindika malire ndi zokhudzika zanu

Kodi mukunena kuti 'inde' pazofuna zonse za mnzanu? Ngakhale simukufuna? Kodi mumawalola kuti azisewera mwachangu komanso momasuka ndi malire anu pomwe mukuyembekezera kuti asinthe? Kodi mukubwerera m'mbuyo kuti ubale wanu ugwire ntchito, kukwaniritsa zosowa zawo, kapena kukwaniritsa miyezo yawo, ngakhale zitatanthauza kusokoneza zikhulupiriro kapena mfundo zanu? Ndiye inu muli pa mwala msewu kukhazikika pa zochepa.

10. Kudzidalira kwanu kumawombera

Ngati mupitiliza kudziwononga nokha ndi zosowa zanu muubwenzi kuti mukwaniritse zosowa zochepa, kudzidalira kwanu kudzawonongeka kwambiri kuposa kukwezedwa. Kudzasokonezanso kudzidalira kwanu ndikukupangitsani kukayikira kufunika kwanu. Izi zidzakupangitsani kukhala kovuta kwambiri kukhazikitsa malire abwino kapena kupirira khalidwe loipa. Zidzakupangitsaninso kukhala muubwenzi woipa komanso dziko la kuvulala.

Ngati ndi kumene inu muli, ndiye kuti katswiri wa zisudzo Amy Poehler ali ndi malangizo akuti: “Aliyense amene sakusangalatsani, m’ponderezeni.” Ndipo mutangoyamba kumene m’moyo wanu, zimakhala bwino. 

11. Mumamva kukhala odulidwa komanso kukhala nokha

Kunyamula zolemetsa za mbali imodzi zomwe zimakhudzidwa ndikupeza ndalama zochepa kuti chibwenzi chipitirire kungakuchititseni kudzimva kukhala osungulumwa komanso osungulumwa. Ndipo izi zitha kuchulukirachulukira ngati wina wofunikirayo ali kutali ndi malingaliro, wowongolera, kapena wankhanza. Koma chodabwitsa n’chakuti, tikamangokhala osasangalala chifukwa choopa kusungulumwa, nthawi zambiri timakumana ndi anthu amene amatichititsa kusungulumwa. 

Kusungulumwa kwa nthawi yaitali kumabwera ndi mtengo wake. Zingatitayitse zokonda zathu, zokonda zathu, ndi zokonda zathu. Zikhoza kutiwonongera thanzi lathu la maganizo. Ndipo zingatipangitsenso kudziona ngati osungulumwa komanso osagwirizana ndi anthu ena. Chifukwa chake ngati ubale wanu GPS nthawi zonse ukulozera kusungulumwa komanso kutayika, ndiye nthawi yoti mukonzenso ndikupeza njira yopulumukira. Chitani zomwe mungathe kuti musakhale ndi vuto pa chibwenzi.   

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 7 za Kusungulumwa Mu Ubwenzi Ndi Momwe Mungathanirane Nazo

Momwe Mungalekerere Kukhazikika Pazochepa  

Kodi ndikuvomereza zochepa? Ngati yankho lanu ku funso limenelo ndi loona, muli ndi mwayi wolankhula zoona kwambiri, kuyesa kupeza matenda, ndikuyambiranso zomwe mumaona kuti ndi zofunika komanso zomwe mumakhulupirira. Ndi mwayi wofufuzanso chifukwa chake muli pachibwenzi chosasangalatsa . Kenako, n’chiyani chingachitike? Kusiya kuthetsa chibwenzi.

Kodi kusakhutira ndi zinthu zochepa kumatanthauza chiyani? “Zimatanthauza kusankha munthu amene ali ndi makhalidwe omwe mumaona kuti ndi ofunika kwambiri, amene amakusangalatsani kuposa mmene amakukhumudwitsirani, amene amakuthandizani, amene amakupangitsani kukhala bwino mwa kukhala nanu,” akutero Claire J. Vannette, wogwiritsa ntchito Quora.

Wogwiritsa ntchito wina wa Quora, Grey , akupereka chifukwa chomveka chomwe sadzakhutitsidwa ndi zinthu zochepa muubwenzi: “Ndikaganiza zokhazikika, ndimadzikumbutsa zomwe ndidzaphonya ndikatero.” Ndiye mungatani kuti musamakhutitsidwe ndi zinthu zochepa muubwenzi ndikusandutsa nthawi yayitali yosakhutira? Nazi njira zina zotsimikizira kuti simukukhutira ndi zinthu zochepa kuposa zomwe mukuyenera:

• Ganizirani za inu nokha. Ganizirani zinthu zonse zomwe mukufuna kuchokera paubwenzi. Zosowa zanu ndi ziti? Mosasamala kanthu kuti ndi zazikulu, zazing'ono, kapena zazikulu, khalani ndi chizolowezi chonena mokweza komanso momveka bwino. 
• Mukadziwa zomwe mukufuna, khalani okhulupilika kwa mphindi iliyonse. Osavomereza chilichonse chomwe chimakupangitsani kukhala osamasuka, ngakhale zitabweretsa zokambirana zosasangalatsa  
• Lekani kupereka zifukwa kwa anthu. Lekani kuchita mwano. Pezani mwayi woyankha ndikutseka chitseko kwa anthu omwe amatsutsa kapena kusokoneza malingaliro anu ndi nkhawa zanu
• Yesani kuzindikira kuti kukhala wekha si chinthu choipa. Nthawi zambiri, mpaka sitikudziwa momwe tingakhalire ndi tokha, timangokhalira kuthamangira muubwenzi pazifukwa zolakwika. Kumbukirani, ndizo chabwino kukhala single ndi wokondwa m'malo moyanjana ndi kukhumudwa 

Kukhazikika pa zinthu zosafunika kungatisiye ndi zinthu zosafunika. Kupatsa mnzanu kuchotsera ndalama muubwenzi kungatisiye ndi ndalama zochepa. Kungatilepheretsenso kupanga ubale weniweni kapena kupeza chimwemwe chenicheni. Ndicho chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kusiya kukhazikika pa chinthu chocheperako kuposa chomwe mukuyenera. Monga momwe wolemba komanso wotsogolera wa Dream for an Insomniac, Tiffanie DeBartolo akunenera : "Pali zinthu zambiri zosafunikira pamoyo zomwe tiyenera kuchita nazo ndipo chikondi sichiyenera kukhala chimodzi mwa izo."

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

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