Zizindikiro 13 Zosawoneka Kuti Muli Mu Ubale Wosasangalatsa 

Maubwenzi ndi zinthu zovuta. M'malo mwake, ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zochepa m'moyo zomwe zimatha kukhala zovuta pakapita nthawi, makamaka ngati okondedwawo sali oyenera kwa wina, kusiya kuyesetsa, kapena kugwera muzowopsa. Malinga ndi kafukufuku, anthu 6 mwa 10 aliwonse sakusangalala ndi ubale wawo. Chibwenzi chikavuta, timakonda kuyesetsa mpaka zinthu zitasintha. Ndipo poyesetsa kukonza zinthu, nthawi zambiri timaphonya zizindikiro za ubale wosasangalala.

Kumayambiriro kwa ubale, muli mu gawo lachisangalalo chaukwati ndipo zonse ndi zabwino ndipo mukukhala mumkhalidwe wosangalatsa. M'kupita kwa nthawi, pamene zowona zimayamba, chisangalalo chimazimiririka ndipo zovuta zimayamba kubweretsanso mutu wawo woyipa. Timadziuza tokha, "Izi zimachitika", ndipo ndi zoona. Mabanja ena amatha kuthana ndi zigamba izi ndikupangitsa kuti ubalewo ukhale wolimba. Koma nthawi zina sizikhala zosangalatsa.

Kukana zenizeni za mkhalidwe wanu kungakusiyeni muubwenzi wosakhutiritsa, wopanda chisangalalo. Kuti tikuthandizeni kuthetsa kukana uku, tikubweretserani zizindikiro zomwe nthawi zambiri zimanyalanyazidwa za maubwenzi osasangalatsa, mogwirizana ndi ubale ndi mphunzitsi wapamtima. Shivanya Yogmayaa (ovomerezeka padziko lonse mu njira zochiritsira za EFT, NLP, CBT, REBT), omwe amagwira ntchito zosiyanasiyana zaupangiri wa maanja. Amaperekanso zidziwitso za njira zomwe zingathetsere vutoli.

Zizindikiro 13 Zobisika za Ubale Wosasangalatsa

Mavuto akayamba m’mabwenzi, tonse timayesetsa kuwathetsa. Koma pali nthawi zina zomwe sitichita bwino muzoyesayesa zathu. Timatsuka m'manja pa nkhaniyi ndikuyembekeza kuti idzazimiririka pakapita nthawi kapena moipitsitsa kusagwirizana kopanda thanzi. Komabe, zovuta zomwe zili pansi pa kapu nthawi zambiri zimakhala njira yothetsera chilichonse. Nthawi zambiri, nkhani zomwe zikupitilirazi zimakula ndikuwononga ubale wonse, ndikuuwononga kosatha.

Shivanya “Kusasangalala m’chibwenzi kwa nthaŵi yaitali kumawononga kwambiri ubwenzi ndi inu mwini.” Kumasokoneza munthu wamkati. Ndiye mumazindikira bwanji kuti simuli okondwa muubwenzi? Nazi zizindikiro zina zofunika kuziwona:

Kuti mudziwe zambiri zothandizidwa ndi akatswiri, chonde lembani ku athu njira YouTube.

1. Mumayesa kuthawa

Chimodzi mwa zinthu zoyamba zomwe zimachitika ngati simunasangalale pachibwenzi ndi kusiya kucheza ndi wokondedwa wanu. Pamene maganizo akufuna subconsciously kusiya ubwenzi wosasangalala, inu mosadziwa kuyamba kukana mnzanuyo. Ndipo izi kukanidwa mu chiyanjano zimawonekera muzinthu zazing'ono.

Shivanya anati: “Mumaona kuti ndi bwino kucheza ndi anzanu kusiyana ndi mnzanuyo.” Ukaona akukuimbira foni kapena kulemberana mameseji ndi mnzanuyo, zimakwiyitsa kapena zimakukhumudwitsani,” anatero Shivanya, “Simufuna kuwayankha kapena kuwayankha pamene akucheza nawo, ndipo ngakhale mutatero, mumayesetsa kuchita zimenezi mwamsanga. Mungayambe kuthera nthawi yochuluka kuntchito chifukwa simukufunanso kupita kunyumba.”

2. Zokambirana zatha

Patty ndi Sam adakhala pansi kuti adye chakudya chamadzulo ndipo patatha mphindi 45 akugawana chakudya, palibe amene adalankhula mawu amodzi. Ndipo izi zidadabwitsa Patty. Patty ankakonda kwambiri mfundo yakuti kugwirizana kwawo kunali kolimba kwambiri moti sankasowa zinthu zoti akambirane. Kodi kukhala chete kumeneku kunayamba liti? Kwa nthawi yoyamba m’moyo wake, Patty anayamba kukayikira ngati Sam analidi osakondwa muukwati wake ndi iye.

Mukalowa pachibwenzi, miyezi ingapo yoyamba ndi yachikondi kwambiri. Simukuoneka kuti mukulephera kulankhula. Koma m’kupita kwa nthawi, chilakolako chimenechi chimatha. Komabe, ngati mulibe chilichonse choti munene kwa wina ndi mnzake kwa masiku kumapeto kapena zonse zomwe mumakambirana ndizomwe mungakonzere chakudya chamadzulo komanso amene akutenga ana, ndiye kuti izi ndizizindikiro za ubale wosasangalala. Shivanyna akufotokoza kuti, “N’kwachibadwa kuti macheza achepe m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, koma ngati mwasiya kulankhula zosoŵa zanu, ndiye kuti ubwenziwo ukhoza kukhala wovuta.”

3. Palibe pafupi ndi kugonana

Kugonana ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri paubwenzi. Ndi mmene okwatirana amasonyezera chikondi kwa wina ndi mnzake ndipo zimathandiza kulimbitsa ubwenzi wawo. Ndi zachilendo kuti khalidwe ndi kuchuluka kwa kugonana kusinthasintha ndi nthawi. Komabe, ngati muwona chitsanzo chomwe mnzanuyo amakana kugonana nthawi zonse kapena amapewa kugonana kwamtundu uliwonse, ndiye kuti ndi nkhani yodetsa nkhawa.

Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zingapo zomwe zimachititsa kuti zikhale zovuta kugwa kwa ubwenzi wapamtima pakati pa awiri. Zitha kukhala chifukwa sakukhutira ndi zomwe akuchita kapena sakumva kulumikizidwa kwamalingaliro. Mulimonse momwe zingakhalire, ndikofunikira kukambirana kuti mukhale patsamba lomwelo ndikupeza njira zotsitsimutsanso. Ngati mnzanu akuwoneka kuti alibe chidwi ndi kukonza ubale wanu wosagonana, ndi mbendera yofiira yomwe imaloza kusakhutira kwawo ndi chiyanjano.

4. Ana ndi chifukwa chake mudakali limodzi

Monotony ndi kunyong'onyeka kumakhazikika m'maubwenzi anthawi yayitali ndi maukwati. Komabe, ngati kugwirizana kwanu kwakhala kovuta kwambiri moti mumadziona mukuganiza kuti mutulukemo, ndi chifukwa chodetsa nkhawa. Zowonjezereka, ngati ndi lingaliro lakuti “Sindine wokondwa muubwenzi koma ndili ndi mwana” lomwe limakulepheretsani. Ndiye mukukhala pachibwenzi pazifukwa zonse zolakwika.

mu phunziro okhudza mabanja 2,000, 47% ya mabanja osasangalala adati adakhalira limodzi chifukwa cha ana. Banja losweka limakhudza mwana, koma ngati lisamalidwa bwino, mwanayo akhoza kukhala ndi moyo wabwino. Chomwe anthu ambiri amalephera kumvetsetsa ndichakuti kuyang'anizana ndi malo oopsa kuyambira ali mwana kumatha kukhala kovulaza kwambiri kwa mwana.

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5. Zokambirana zimasanduka mikangano

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za ubale wosasangalala ndi kuchuluka kwa mikangano. Mikangano imachitika mu ubale uliwonse; ndi wathanzi ngakhale. Izo zimapita kukatsimikizira kuti inu mulibe ubale wachiphamaso. Komabe, ngati kukambirana kapena kukambirana kulikonse kusanduka ndewu, ndiye kuti ndi nkhani yodetsa nkhawa.

Anthu okwatirana akakhala paubwenzi wosasangalala kwa nthawi yaitali, kukwiyirana kumayamba kuwunjikana, zomwe zimachititsa kuti mikangano ichuluke. Mumadandaula ndi zinthu zing'onozing'ono, amatafuna mokweza kwambiri, amanjenjemera akuyenda, amadula mano kapena amathera nthawi yochuluka m'sitolo. Ngakhale zing’onozing’ono zimene zimachititsa kuti anthu azikangana.

6. Simulemekezananso

Mwawona miyendo yake yaubweya, ndipo amakuimbirani nyimbo. Mukakhala pachibwenzi, mumamaliza kuchitira umboni mbali zonse za wokondedwa wanu. Khalani mbali ya goofy, mbali yokwiya, kapena ngakhale mbali yonyansa. Komabe, ngati mumadziona kuti mukunyoza zochita kapena khalidwe lililonse la mnzanuyo, ndiye kuti ndi zina mwa zizindikiro za ubwenzi wosasangalala.

Shivanya akuti, "Kulemekeza wokondedwa wanu ndi chimodzi mwa mizati yofunika kwambiri ya ubale, popanda izo, ubwino wa ubale umatsika kwambiri ndipo umakhala wopanda thanzi." Ngati munthu sakusangalala pachibwenzi koma sangathe kuchoka, ma equation awo ndi ena ofunikira amatha kukhala oopsa. Ngakhale kuti nkwachibadwa kukhala ndi mikangano muubwenzi, ngati nthaŵi zonse mumanyozetsa ndi kunyozera maganizo ndi malingaliro a wina ndi mnzake kapena kunyalanyaza malingaliro a wina ndi mnzake kotheratu, ndiye kuti chidani chimenechi chingakhale chifukwa cha kusoŵa chimwemwe.

7. Kuthetsa kusamvana kosayenera

Megan, wowerenga wochokera ku Louisiana, adalembera Bonobology kugawana kuti anali kumapeto chifukwa cha iye. ukwati unali pa miyala ndipo anamva kukakamira. “Ndimazindikira kuti palibe banja lomwe silili bwino komanso langa silili losiyana, chimene chimandikhumudwitsa n’chakuti nthawi zonse ndikafuna kukambirana nkhani zimene tikukumana nazo, timangokhalira kukangana ndipo zimasanduka ndewu yonyansa, ndikudziwa kuti sindikusangalala ndi chibwenzicho koma ndili ndi mwana moti sindingathe kuchoka.

Tsoka ilo, pali akazi ambiri ngati Megan. Mu maubwenzi oterowo, mmodzi kapena onse awiri ayenera kulimbana ndi njira zothetsera kusamvana monga kutuluka pa mkangano, kuwombera miyala, kuchepetsa kupweteka kwawo, kapena kuyatsa gasi. Zonsezi zikhoza kuwonjezera kusakhutira ndi kusasangalala.

8. Nkhani zodalirika zimakula

Tiyeni tonse tikhale owona mtima kwa miniti apa. Tonsefe timamvapo nthawi ina osatetezeka mu ubale wathu ndi kukayikira za kudzipereka kwa mnzathu ndi chikondi kapena zamtsogolo. Komabe, ngati inu snooping kudzera foni mnzanuyo, otsitsira mapulogalamu kusunga njanji kumene iwo akupita, kapena kulemba ganyu munthu kufufuza ntchito mnzanuyo, ndiye inu mosakayikira akulimbana ndi zizindikiro za ubwenzi wosasangalala ndipo ayenera kuganizira mozama chisankho chanu kukhala. Studies nenani kuti kusakhulupirira munthu amene ali pachibwenzi kumawonjezera mavuto m’banja.

Zinthu zokhulupirira zimayamba mukatopa ndi momwe ubalewo ukuchitikira. Zitha kukhala chifukwa chosowa chikhulupiriro mwa inu nokha kapena mwawona machitidwe atsopano mwa mnzanuyo. Shivanya ananena kuti: “Ndife anthu ndipo nthawi zina sitikhala otsimikiza kwambiri za zinthu. Mulimonsemo, nkhani zodalirika sizikhala bwino.

9. Mukufuna kutsimikiziridwa kunja kwa ubale wanu

Ubwenzi umangofuna kugawana chisangalalo ndi zowawa za moyo wanu. Kukondedwa ndi kukondedwa ndi kulandiridwa monga momwe mulili. Pamene munthu sangathe kupeza chitonthozo chimenecho mu ubale wawo, amayamba kuyang'ana chikondi ndi kuvomereza kunja. Kukhala paubwenzi wosasangalala kungapangitse mwayi wachitatu kuti alowe mu equation.

Zingakhale za munthu amene mumamukhulupirira ndi zilakolako zanu zakuya kapena munthu amene mumam'kopa mwachisawawa, n'cholinga choti akuyamikireni ndi kukuvomerezani. Ikhoza kuyamba ngati kukopana kopanda vuto, koma pali kusakhutira kwenikweni komwe kumakupangitsani kufikira ena. Ngati simusamala, zingakulepheretseni kulimbana ndi vuto la kusakhulupirika, zomwe zingapangitse unansi wosagwirizana kale kukhala wosatheka.

10. Mumasungulumwa muubwenzi wanu

Kusungulumwa sikukhudzana ndi kuchuluka kwa anthu omwe akuzungulirani. Munthu akhoza kukhala yekha pagulu. Mutha kukhala mozunguliridwa ndi anzanu ndi abale anu komanso anthu omwe amakukondani mopanda malire, ndipo ngakhale pamenepo, mutha kukhala osungulumwa.

Munthu akamamva kuti sakumveka komanso wosawoneka, amayamba kudzimva kuti ndi wosafunika. Munthu akakhala paubwenzi wosasangalala koma sangathe kuchoka, zimamupweteka kwambiri, zomwe zimawapangitsa kukhala osungulumwa muubwenzi komanso kukwiyira bwenzi lake.

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11. Mwayamba kukhala opanda chidwi ndi okondedwa wanu

Kumbali ina, mikangano yosalekeza ndi zizindikiro za ubale wosasangalatsa. Komano, palibe kukangana mu ubale ndi vuto lalikulu komanso. Anthu aŵiri akamakhala pamodzi, pamakhala mikangano. Mudzakhala ndi zokambirana zomwe zimabweretsa kusagwirizana, zomwe zimasanduka mikangano yoopsa.

Ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo mulibe kusamvana kulikonse, zikutanthauza kuti mmodzi kapena nonse mwangosiya chibwenzicho mpaka kuti palibe kuzama muzochita zanu ndipo mwayamba. kutengerana mosasamala. Ndipo kusowa kwakuya uku sikukuvutitsani inunso. Mwakhala opanda chidwi wina ndi mzake.

12. Mumayesedwa kuti musokere;

Malinga ndi kafukufuku wina, anthu 70 pa 100 alionse amabera chifukwa chakuti sakusangalala paubwenzi wawo. Nthawi zina munthu akalephera kusiya chibwenzi chawocho, amayamba kulota masiku omwe anali mbeta. Amathanso kukhudzana ndi moto wakale kapena munthu wakale yemwe sali wotopa. Amaphonya chisangalalo ndi chilakolako cha ubale watsopano. Nthawi zina amangokhalira kukakamira zomwe zikanakhala. Tsoka ilo, zochitika izi zitha kukhala zovuta kwambiri. Monga munthu ali ndi mwayi waukulu wozembera.

13. Mumachitira nsanje aliyense

Mukakhala muubwenzi wosasangalala ndipo simungachoke, pamakhala mkwiyo wambiri. Ndipo mukalephera kuzisiya, mumakonda kupsa mtima komanso kusuliza. Mumayamba kufananiza mkhalidwe wanu ndi anthu omwe akuzungulirani ndipo aliyense akuwoneka kuti akusangalala muubwenzi wawo, zomwe zimakupangitsani nsanje.

Munthu akakhumudwa kwambiri muubwenzi wawo, amalephera tulukani mumsampha wofananiza ndipo akhoza kuyiwala kuti zonse zonyezimira si golide. Mwina sangathe kuwona kuti maanja onse kunjako akukumana ndi mavuto awoawo. Izi zimawonjezera kusakhutira kwawo, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwa iwo kuthana ndi zenizeni za ubale wawo

Mungamuuze Bwanji Okondedwa Anu Kuti Simukusangalala?

Kukhala paubwenzi wosasangalala si chilango cha imfa kwa banja lanu. Koma ngati sizingathetsedwe, zikhoza kukhala bwino. Ngati simukukhutira ndi momwe chibwenzi chanu chikuyendetsedwera, ndi bwino kukambirana ndi wokondedwa wanu za nkhaniyi kuti mugwirizane kuthetsa vutolo. Umu ndi momwe mungayankhire nkhaniyi ndi mnzanu:

1. Dziwani chomwe chikukupangitsani kukhala osasangalala

Ngakhale musanayambe kumuuza mnzanuyo kuti simukusangalala, m’pofunika kudziwa chimene chikukupangitsani kumva choncho. Kodi mukuwona kuti simukhala ndi nthawi yokwanira ndi wina ndi mnzake ndipo tsopano kutalika kwanu sikukugwirizana? Kodi zimawoneka ngati nkhani zaubwenzi zangokulirakulira kapena moyo wasintha kuyambira kubadwa kwa mwana, ndipo tsopano mukuona kuti ndi bwino kusiya ubwenzi wosasangalala? Kudziwa zomwe zikukuvutitsani kudzakuthandizani kupeza yankho mosavuta.

2. Ganizirani zomwe muyenera kunena ndipo khalani omasuka

Kukambirana uku ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zovuta kwambiri zomwe muyenera kuchita. Choncho ganizirani zimene mudzanene musananene. Nkhani zotere zimakhala zovuta kwambiri ndipo muyenera kusamala kwambiri za momwe wokondedwa wanu akumvera mukamakambirana. Ngakhale kukhala osamala n’kofunika kwambiri, n’kofunikanso chimodzimodzi, kukhala woona mtima, ndi womasuka pa zimene zikukusautsani. Wokondedwa wanu ayenera kumvetsetsa chomwe chiri chenichenicho vuto lomwe mukukumana nalo nonse awiri musanayambe kukangana. Apo ayi, mavuto adzapitirizabe kukula.

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3. Khalani munthu wamkulu

Palibe amene amakonda kumva kuti wokondedwa wawo sakukondwera muubwenzi wawo. Chifukwa chake, mukapitiliza ndikuyesera kukambirana izi, pali mwayi woti mnzanuyo angakukalipireni. Akhoza kukupangani inu ndi kunena zinthu zosakhululukidwa. Ndikofunika kwambiri kukumbukira kuti angst iyi imachokera kumalo opweteka. Khalani oleza mtima ndipo zinthu zikazizira mungathe yesetsani kupeza chigamulo.

4. Auzeni zomwe mukuganiza kuti zingathandize kuti zinthu zikhale bwino

Amati ngati mutha kulemba vuto, theka lake lathetsedwa kale. Ngati mukudziwa zomwe zikukuvutitsani ndipo muli ndi lingaliro la momwe zingathere, lankhulani ndi mnzanuyo.

Zoyenera Kuchita Ngati Simukusangalala Paubwenzi?

Tsopano popeza mwazindikira zizindikiro zaubwenzi wosasangalala ndipo mwalankhula ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu za izo, sitepe yotsatira ingakhale kudziwa zoyenera kuchita pa izo. Nazi zina zomwe muyenera kukumbukira mukamakonza ubale wanu.

1. Unikani ubwino ndi kuipa kwake

Shivanya anati: “Chinthu choyamba chimene muyenera kuchita mukazindikira kuti simukusangalala ndi chibwenzi chanu ndicho kulemba ubwino ndi kuipa kokhalira limodzi. Zimakuthandizani kuunika ubale wanu ndi zifukwa zomwe mudakhalira limodzi poyamba. Ngati zabwinozo zikuchulukirachulukira, ndiye kuti ndibwino kutero gwirani ntchito paubwenzi kuti apange bwino. Komabe, ngati zovutazo zikuchulukirachulukira, ndiye kuti mwina ndi nthawi yoti musiye.

2. Njira yolumikizirana

Munthu amakulitsa kalembedwe kawo kolumikizana pakati pa miyezi 7 ndi 11. Ndipo izi attachment style zimakhudza maubwenzi awo onse akuluakulu. Shivanya akuti, "Ndikofunikira kuphunzira kalembedwe ka mnzanu, zidzakuthandizani kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake mnzanuyo amachitira muubwenzi wanu momwe amachitira."

3. Lankhulani ndi wokondedwa wanu

The kufunika kwa kulumikizana sangatsindike mokwanira. Ngati simukusangalala ndi chibwenzi chanu, lankhulani ndi mnzanuyo. Gawani nkhawa zanu ndi nkhawa zanu, aloleni kuti anene gawo lawo, ndipo yang'anani njira yolumikizirana ndi kuthetsa mavuto. Mawu ali ndi mphamvu zopanga kapena kusokoneza ubale. Agwiritseni ntchito mwanzeru.

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4. Phunzirani chinenero chachikondi cha mnzanuyo

Pamodzi ndi kuphunzira khalidwe ubwenzi ubwenzi kalembedwe, inunso muyenera kudziwa mnzanuyo chinenero chachikondi. Pamene kuli kwakuti yoyamba ikunena za mmene munthu amapangira unansi ndi inu, yomalizirayo imanena za mmene munthu amakondera kusonyeza ndi kulandira chikondi. Kufotokozera chikondi chanu m'chinenero chachikondi cha wokondedwa wanu kungathandize kuthetsa mipata muubwenzi wanu. Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, kungathandize kukulitsa kuzindikira za zizindikiro zawo za chikondi ndi chikondi.

5. Funsani mlangizi

Mlangizi adzakuthandizani kumvetsetsa machitidwe omwe akuwononga ubale ndikupeza njira yowagonjetsa. Adzakuthandizani kupeza zomwe zimayambitsa mavuto muubwenzi wanu ndikuyendetsa malingaliro osokonekera omwe amabwera nawo. Nthawi zina zonse zimafunika kupulumutsa ubale ndi pang'ono mwatsopano kaonedwe.

Thandizo la pa intaneti lochokera kwa alangizi a Bonobology lathandiza anthu ambiri kupita patsogolo atatuluka muubwenzi woipa. Kaya zinthu zili bwanji, zikhala bwino kudziŵa kuti pali thandizo limene mungadalire. Thandizo limapezeka nthawi zonse Pano.

Palibe kutsutsana ndi mfundo yakuti maubwenzi amafunika ntchito. Ndipo ubale womwe ukukumana ndi zovuta zomwe zimapangitsa anthu kukhala osasangalala ndizofala kwambiri kuposa momwe timafunira kuvomereza. Pali chimodzi chokha mwa zinthu ziwiri zomwe munthu angachite ubwenzi wawo ukafika pamenepo. Kapena ntchito pa izo. Kapena kuthetsa.

Ibibazo

Momwe Mungachitire Ndi Kupuma Paubwenzi - 7 Malamulo

Zizindikiro 15 Zogwirizana Pakati Panu Ndi Okondedwa Anu

Zinthu 23 Zing'onozing'ono Zomwe Zimapangitsa Ukwati Wanu Kukhala Wamphamvu Tsiku ndi Tsiku

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.