13 Green Flags Mu Ubale Kuti Muyang'ane Patsogolo

Mbendera zobiriwira mu ubale zimachepetsedwa kwambiri. Mphindi khumi ndi zisanu mu tsiku la khofi ndipo timakonda kupereka chidwi chathu chokha pakuwona mbendera zofiira mwa munthu yemwe angakhale naye pachibwenzi, mwachibadwa. Izi ndizabwino chifukwa tikufuna kuteteza mitima yathu yaying'ono ku masoka omwe tidakumana nawo kale. 

Nanga bwanji, pakusintha, nthawi ino mupita ndi malingaliro omasuka? M'malo mongoganizira za "OMG! Sakonda director omwe ndimawakonda!", Mukukumbatira nthabwala zake zamatsenga. Ali ndi kumwetulira kokongola, chabwino? Komanso adachita 'check dance' kuti agawane ndalamazo. Apo inu mukupita, atatu wobiriwira mbendera kulankhula siteji, pa tsiku loyamba. Amayitanira wachiwiri, simukuganiza?

Ndiye, kodi zizindikiro zabwino izi muubwenzi zomwe ndizofunikira kwambiri kuti pakhale mgwirizano wabwino ndi ziti? Kuti tikupatseni chithunzithunzi chomveka bwino, tidalankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Juhi Pandey (MA Psychology) yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhani ya chibwenzi, uphungu wa ukwati usanalowe m'banja, komanso kusudzulana, ndipo tidasankha nzeru zake kuti amvetse bwino.

Kodi Green Flags Mu Ubale Ndi Chiyani?

Mwachidule, mbendera zobiriwira ndi makhalidwe a ubwino wa wokondedwa wanu. Tiyerekeze kuti m'mawa wina munasiya kudya chakudya cham'mawa n'kupita ku ofesi mwachangu. Mukakhala ndi njala komanso kukwiya kwambiri, munalandira phukusi kuchokera ku malo omwe mumakonda achi China okhala ndi kakalata kakang'ono kakuti, "Idyani chakudya chanu chamasana musanayambe kudzudzula aliyense muofesi". Mwadabwa ndi chikwangwani ichi chosonyeza kuti amakukondani kwambiri ndipo mukuganiza kuti, "Kodi wina angakuganizireni bwanji chonchi?"

Kuti, apo pomwe pali chitsanzo chabwino kwambiri cha ubale wobiriwira mbendera. Zitha kukhala chilichonse kuyambira pamakhalidwe awo abwino, kukhwima m'malingaliro mpaka luntha, kapena kumwetulira kwakuphako. Kwenikweni, mbendera wobiriwira mwa munthu amatchula mbali yosiririka ya umunthu wawo kuti kukupatsani holo chiphaso kuti alowe bwinobwino ubale watsopano. Kodi posachedwapa mwawona mbendera khumi zobiriwira mwa mnyamata kapena mtsikana? Muli ndi chithandizo chathu chonse ngati mukufuna kuyika nthawi yanu yamtengo wapatali komanso mphamvu zamaganizidwe mwamunthu wodabwitsa uyu.

Kudziwa kuti muli ndi makhalidwe ofanana ndi a SO wanu kuyambira pachiyambi kumakupatsani chiyembekezo chakuti muli pa tsamba limodzi ndipo mukuyamba bwino. Ngati zonse zikuyenda bwino, ubale wanu udzakhala wautali. Mu zokambirana zathu ndi Juhi , adafanizira bwino mitundu ndi makhalidwe omwe akunena kuti mnzanuyo akugwirizana nanu.

Iye akuti, "Monga momwe mtundu wobiriwira uli chizindikiro cha chilengedwe, kukula, ndi kutukuka, mofananamo, mbendera zobiriwira mwa munthu zimasonyeza kuti amalola SO yawo kudzisamalira okha. Mwa kuvomereza umunthu wa mnzanuyo ndi kukhala dongosolo lothandizira losasunthika, mukuthandizira mwachindunji kukula kwawo ndi kulimbikitsa kolimba ku msinkhu wawo wodalirika ndi mphamvu zodzikonda."

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13 Green Flags Mu Ubale Kuti Muyang'ane Patsogolo

Mukudziwa, palibe njira imodzi yofotokozera mbendera zobiriwira muubwenzi wabwino. Munthu aliyense ali ndi mtundu wake. M'nkhani yanu, kulankhulana nthawi zonse kapena kuyang'ana nthawi kungakhale njira yabwino yolumikizirana ndi wokondedwa wanu mozama. Koma ngati mulankhula ndi mnansi wanu wa khomo loyandikana nawo, iwo angawone kukhala kotopetsa ndi kumva kukhala wotopa mumkhalidwe wofananawo. 

Tsopano popeza mukuganiza zofufuza mosamala zizindikiro za munthu amene mukufuna kukhala naye paubwenzi wabwino, choyamba muyenera kukonza bwino ubale wanu. Khalani chete ndipo ganizirani mosamala zosowa zanu ndi zomwe mukuyembekezera muubwenzi . Zidzakhala zosavuta kukonzekera mndandanda wamaganizo ngati muli oona mtima ndi inu nokha. Inde, tikukulimbikitsani kuti mukhale olimba mtima ndikuchita zinthu zothandiza pamene mukuganizira mnzanu amene mukufuna kukhala naye paubwenzi atavala makhalidwe abwino komanso kuchita bwino kwambiri pa moyo wake.

Ngati simunazindikire kale, ngakhale Prince Charmings ndi Cinderellas adziko lenileni amabwera ndi zolakwa zawo komanso zowona. Ngati mukuyembekeza kuti akugulireni hatchi, kuwuluka ku Italy pa tsiku lanu loyamba, kapena kukhala okoma ngati pichesi 24×7, mungafunike kudikira pamzere wa moyo wonse kuti potsiriza kukumana ndi wokonda nkhani.

Pali zitsanzo zina za zizindikiro zobiriwira muubwenzi zomwe ndi zofunika kwambiri komanso zofunika kwambiri kuti pakhale mgwirizano wabwino . Malinga ndi Juhi, "Zinthu zitatu zazikulu zobiriwira zomwe muyenera kuziyang'ana muubwenzi ndi izi - munthuyo amakulemekezani, amakulolani kukhala ndi moyo wanu, ndipo mumamvetsetsana za maudindo anu muubwenzi". Pano, taganizirani kulemba zizindikiro 13 zobiriwira muubwenzi kuchokera ku lingaliro lapadera kuti apindule ndi banja lililonse latsopano:

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1. Mutha kusangalala kukhala chete nawo

Kutonthola kosautsa ndi bummer kwenikweni. Ngakhale anthu atatu kapena anayi atakhala patebulo la chakudya chamadzulo akhoza kumva "O ayi! Chomwe munganene chotsatira?", Osasiya anthu awiri pa tsiku. Mukafikira kukhala wokhutira ndi munthu wina, lingalirani momwe inu nonse mumakhalira movutikira, momwe mumakhalira otetezeka m'maganizo ndi munthu wokondedwayo. 

Mumakwera padenga. Khalani pambali pa wina ndi mnzake. Musachite chilichonse, musanene chilichonse. Ingoyang'anani nyenyezi ndi kuwala kwa mzinda komwe kukuwala mu chete. Chimwemwe chachikulu! N'zovuta kuona zizindikiro zobiriwira mukamakambirana za chibwenzi. Ngati muli kale ndi chitonthozo chotere ndi munthu wodabwitsa amene mukumukonda, ndiye kuti ndi chizindikiro cholimba chakuti ndi wosunga!

2. Amakhudzidwa ndi kusokonezeka kwa malingaliro anu

Moyo ndi kukwera njinga. Tsiku lina mudzakwezedwa pantchito, mphindi yotsatira imfa ya bwenzi lanu imakuphwanyani. Kuyambira pomwe mliri udatigwera, tonse takhala tikuwopsezedwa ndi nkhawa komanso mantha. Pamene mukulimbana ndi inu nokha kuti muthetse kunjenjemera ndi jitters, mungafunike wina kuti akugwireni dzanja ndikukhazika mtima pansi. Amatha kufotokoza momwe ubongo wanu wodera nkhawa ukukulira zinthu zing'onozing'ono kukhala chinthu choyipa. 

Ndikofunikira kuti munthu amene mukumukonda akumvetseni ndi kumvetsetsa mavuto anu m'malo mokunyozani. Ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zobiriwira muubwenzi zomwe simuyenera kuzinyalanyaza. Juhi akuti, "Mnzanu ayenera kukhala wosamala ndi mavuto anu amaganizo chifukwa ndicho chinthu chofunikira kwambiri paubwenzi uliwonse. Zimasonyezanso kuti munthuyo amakulandirani monga momwe mulili. Amamvetsetsa kuti pakakhala zovuta, padzakhala zovuta. Ndipo onse awiri ayenera kuthandizana pa zonsezi."

3. Amamvetsetsa mukanena kuti 'ayi'

M'nkhani zathu zonse, timakulitsa kufunikira kolankhulana momasuka muubwenzi wabwino, ndipo kutha kunena malire anu kuyenera kukhala patsogolo. Chifukwa chakuti mumakondana ndi munthu sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuvomereza chilichonse chimene wapempha. Ngati mutero, zimenezo zidzangowonjezera kusadzidalira kwanu muubwenziwo.

Mukuyesera kuwasangalatsa mwa kusiya zosowa zanu, malingaliro anu, ndi zisankho zanu. Chabwino, zimenezo sizothandiza, eti? Muloledwa kukana chibwenzi chowonera kanema ngati mwatopa pambuyo pa tsiku lalitali. Mutha kukana kugonana ngati simukufuna. Ndipo mutha kuwonetsa nkhawa izi ngati mnzanu ali ndi mphamvu yamaganizo yolandira ndemanga mwanzeru.

Iwo akanayankha mwa kukukwiyitsani, kukukwiyirani, kapena kukusalankhulani. Simudziwa! Komabe, izi sizimawonjezera zitsanzo za mbendera zobiriwira muubwenzi. Juhi anatchula m’nkhani imeneyi kuti, “Kulemekeza ‘ayi’ kumatanthauza kuti mnzanuyo amakulemekezani monga munthu komanso munthu payekha.

4. Amagawana maudindo mofunitsitsa 

Maubwenzi ndi ntchito za timu. N'zosamveka kuyembekezera kuti munthu m'modzi ndiye azitha kuyang'anira maudindo onse - akulu kapena ang'onoang'ono. Sindikunena za ntchito zapakhomo zokha. Udindo muubwenzi umapitirira pamenepo ndipo ungawonekere m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Pali maudindo azachuma, kupirira kwamaganizo, kudzipereka ku tsogolo, ndi zina zotero.

Mutha kupanga izi mukangoyamba kukhala ndi bwenzi lanu. Kodi amakujowinani modzifunira kuti mutengere amayi anu kwa dokotala wamano? Kapena mwina simuyenera kuwakumbutsa kawiri kuti mugule zinthu mukakhala otanganidwa kuchapa zovala. Chongani ichi ngati chizindikiro cha chikondi. Ndi mbendera yobiriwira bwino. 

5. Mbendera zobiriwira zowoneka bwino kwambiri mwa mnyamata kapena mtsikana: Zimangoyang'anana maso

Ngakhale kuti zingamveke ngati zazing'ono, kukopana maso kumakhudza kwambiri tsogolo la chibwenzicho. Kodi mwalemba izi pamndandanda wanu wa zizindikiro zobiriwira mwa mnyamata kapena mtsikana pa tsiku loyamba? Ngati inde, ndiye kuti mudzapeza mpumulo. Ngati simunadziwe, pali maphunziro omwe akusonyeza kuti kuyang'anana kosasweka kuli ndi mphamvu zowonjezera chikondi champhamvu. Zikumveka ngati zolondola.

Munthu yemwe amatha kuyang'anana mokhazikika (pokhapokha ngati ali ndi vuto la autistic ndipo sapeza kukhudzana ndi maso) amakhala wowona mtima pazolinga zawo. Iwo amapezeka kwambiri pazokambirana - mwakuthupi ndi m'maganizo. Palibe padziko lapansi chomwe chimawalepheretsa kukhala ndi inu nthawi yonseyi. Ndipo ndiyenera kunena mokweza kuti ndi chikondi ngati gehena? Kuyang'ana m'maso mwa wina ndi mzake, kumva magalasi a vinyo akugwedezeka - o, ganizirani za chemistry yopanga!

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6. Kupezeka kwamalingaliro ndi suti yawo yamphamvu

Chimodzi mwazinthu zobiriwira zofunika kwambiri paubwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi kapena wina aliyense: kupezeka kwawo m'malingaliro. Amuna, makamaka, nthawi zonse samalankhula za momwe akukulirakulira. Kufotokozera zakukhosi kwawo ndi chipwirikiti chamkati sikumakhala kophweka. 

Mukakumana ndi munthu yemwe ali womasuka kugawana nawo zoopsa zaubwana, mumadziwa kuti ndizochitika zenizeni. Mfundo yakuti iwo ali pachiopsezo pafupi nanu imasonyeza momwe amakudalirani ndikuyamikira ubalewu. Kusasinthasintha kwamalingaliro ndi mbendera yobiriwira yofunikira pakati pa amuna ndi akazi. 

7. Akukuonani m’tsogolo mwawo, pafupi ndi patali

Timaona izi ngati chizindikiro chodziwika bwino muubwenzi chifukwa zimasonyeza ngati mnzanuyo ndi wodzikuza kapena ayi. Munthu amene amayamikira kukhalapo kwanu m'moyo wake sangakusiyeni mu mapulani ake amtsogolo. Mwina angakupempheni kuti mupite ku ukwati ngati tsiku lomwe lili pafupi ndi miyezi isanu ndi inayi kuchokera pano. Angagawane malingaliro awo a nyumba yamaloto ndikupempha malingaliro anu.

Mudzamvetsetsa bwino lomwe mukuyimilira mu ubalewu, komanso ngati muli patsamba lomwelo kapena ayi. Juhi akuti, "Kuwonana ndi wokondedwa wanu m'tsogolomu - kaya posachedwapa kapena zaka zisanu kuchokera pano - ndi ubale wamtundu wobiriwira. Umu ndi momwe mumadziwira kuti muli ndi chinachake chenicheni.

8. Mbendera yobiriwira mwa munthu: Amakuika patsogolo m'moyo wawo 

M'malingaliro athu, tonse timadziwa zomwe timayika patsogolo m'moyo - awa akhoza kukhala makolo athu, ntchito yathu, chilakolako, kapena bwenzi lapamtima. Timagawa nthawi ya zonsezi kutengera kukula kwake. Mutha kukwanitsa nthawi kuti muyesere zamasewera anu a ballet ngakhale muli otanganidwa ndi ntchito. Monga amanenera, "Zonse ndi zofunika kwambiri." Lingaliro lomwelo limagwiranso ntchito pa maubwenzi.

Pamene mukuyang'ana pa mndandanda wa zinthu zofunika kwambiri zomwe munthu ayenera kuchita, ziyenera kuonekera m'zochita zake. Ngati mukuona kuti akukusungani ngati wothandiza ndipo sakukupatsani ulemu woyenera, ndi bwino kuchokapo. Tiyeni tione zizindikiro zingapo zobiriwira muubwenzi ndi mwamuna, mkazi, kapena munthu wosiyana ndi ena. Kodi akuchepetsa nthawi zina zokumana nanu kuti akhale ndi nthawi yambiri? Kodi amakufunsani malangizo asanapange chisankho chachikulu? Pitirizani kuwonjezera. Pamene mndandandawu ukukula, ubale wanu umakula kwambiri kuposa kale lonse.

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9. Mbendera yobiriwira kwambiri paubwenzi: Chisamaliro chosagawanika 

Kodi mwakhalapo pachibwenzi pomwe munthu amene wakhala pafupi nanu amatayika pafoni nthawi yonseyi? Anayitanitsa zakumwa zoziziritsa kukhosi ngakhale kuti munkafuna khofi wozizira ndipo panthawiyi munalandira mafoni khumi. Kodi si chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe zimakulepheretsani kwambiri ? Kusokonezeka maganizo, kudzikonda, kapena kutanganidwa mukakambirana sizomwe timatcha 'zizindikiro za ubale wabwino', makamaka mukayamba kutuluka ndipo ayenera kukhala osangalala ndi nthawi yomwe mumakhala limodzi.

Ndiye kodi mbendera zobiriwira mukulankhula siteji ya ubale? Wokondedwa wanu akufunitsitsa kukudziwani bwino. Sadzaphonya mwayi wokhala ndi khofi komanso kucheza nanu. Akhoza kuseka nthabwala zanu zopusa osati kungoseka mwachisoni. Ndikungocheza! Pamene munthu ali ndi 100% mwa inu, mudzadziwa kuti akumvetsera ndipo maganizo anu ndi ofunika, kaya ndi macheza opanda nzeru kapena kukhudzika kwakukulu pa nkhani inayake. 

10. Mumakonda chikondi (osati kugonana kokha!)

Mwandimva bwino. Kugonana ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri chomwe chingapangitse kusiyana kwa momwe mumamvera ndi munthu. Koma kukondana kwabwino komanso kopanda tsankho kuli ndi chithumwa chake. Kugona limodzi kungatanthauzenso kuti munakumbatirana ndi kusochera m'maloto okongola. Kodi nthawi zonse kumakhala kugonana?

Chithunzi 1: Inu nonse awiri mukugawana taxi mumvula. Akukukokani pafupi ndikukukumbatirani. Wailesi ikusewera Dziko lodabwitsa kwambiri.

Chithunzi 2: Mukupanga khofi kukhitchini. Iwo amabwera kudzatenga botolo, ndikujompha pang'ono pa tsaya ndikuchoka. Palibe sewero, mphindi yokha yachikondi.

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Taganizirani nokha muzochitika izi ndipo onani momwe mukumvera mumtima mwanu. Anthu inu, ndicho chimenecho. Ndipotu, kafukufuku waposachedwapa wochitidwa ndi akatswiri a ku Binghamton University adapeza kulumikizana kwakukulu pakati pa kukhudzana kosagonana (monga kukumbatirana, kugwirana manja, kapena kukumbatirana) ndi maukwati olimba. Mukuti chiyani? Kodi si chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zofunika kwambiri zomwe muyenera kuyang'ana muubwenzi?

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11. Iwo ali omasuka kuthetsa mavuto 

Ndikuuzeni, pali mitundu iwiri ya anthu paubwenzi. Amene amakufunsani kukhala pansi ndi kukambitsirana kopindulitsa kuti mupeze yankho la vuto limene lilipo. Winayo adzitchinjiriza nthawi yomweyo ndikukupatsirani mlandu wonse. Tsopano mumasankha kuti ndi iti yomwe ikuwoneka yokhazikika pakapita nthawi.

Kodi mukufuna kupyola mu masewera osatha a kusudzulana ndi kusudzulana? Kapena mukufuna kukhazikika kuti muthane ndi chibwenzicho ngati akuluakulu awiri okhwima? Chosankha ndi chanu. Pofuna kukupatsani lingaliro lothandizidwa ndi kafukufuku, nkhani yofalitsidwa mu Science Daily ikuwonetsa kuti ambiri mwa maanja amakonda kukangana pa nkhani zomwezo - ana, ndalama, apongozi, kapena ubwenzi. Chomwe chimapangitsa maanja osangalala kukhala osiyana ndi omwe ali ndi chisoni ndi njira yawo yothetsera mikangano yomwe imayang'ana kwambiri njira zothetsera mikangano.

Juhi akunena pankhaniyi, "Palibe chinthu chofanana ndi kulankhulana momasuka muubwenzi wabwino kuti mukhale ndi maganizo othana ndi mavuto pazifukwa zazikulu ndi zazing'ono. Ngati onse awiri ali oleza mtima kufotokoza ndi kumvetsera mbali ya wina ndi mzake pa nkhaniyo, vuto lililonse likhoza kuthetsedwa.  

12. Akudzidalira pakhungu lawo;

Wokondedwa wanu kukhala ndi chidaliro za ziyembekezo zawo, luso, ndipo chofunika kwambiri, kudzidziwa bwino kwambiri ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zabwino mu ubwenzi. Mfundo yoti amafotokoza bwino zolinga zawo zimatsimikizira kuti sipadzakhala misampha yadzidzidzi kapena mikangano yonyansa pakati panu. 

Simuyenera kuda nkhawa kuti adzayamba kudzidalira kwambiri nthawi iliyonse. Munthu uyu adzakukhulupirirani moona mtima chifukwa amakhulupirira kwambiri zolinga zanu. Amadziwa kuti akhoza kuthana ndi vuto lililonse laling'ono kapena lalikulu muubwenzi popanda kusokonezeka maganizo. Mudzamva kukoma mtima kwawo chifukwa saopa kutenga udindo muubwenzi wawo pa zochita zawo. Ndiuzeni, ngati sichoncho, ndiye kuti chizindikiro chobiriwira n'chiyani?

13. Amachipanga chawamba kukhala chowonjezera 

Mukudziwa kuti nthawi ya ukwati ikatha, chomwe chatsala ndi kungochita zinthu zachizolowezi komanso zokambirana zakale zomwezo. Koma ngati munthu uyu ndi amene ali woyenera kwa inu , mudzawona ngakhale masiku osasangalatsa akuwala chifukwa cha kukhalapo kwawo. Amakupangitsani kuseka ndikumva ngati munthu wosangalala kwambiri padziko lapansi!

Maphunziro otopetsa ku koleji samawoneka otopetsa ndi iwo atakhala pambali panu. Sikuti nthawi zonse mumafunika madeti apamwamba kapena mphatso zodula kuti musangalatse wina ndi mnzake. Kungokhala nawo komweko kumatonthoza mtima wanu. Ndipo izi zimamaliza mndandanda wathu wa mbendera zobiriwira zofunika paubwenzi. Ngati mutha kuyika chiphaso kupitilira theka la izi, tikubetcha kuti ubale wanu upitilira nthawi yayitali.

Koma sitikufuna kukuletsani pano. Pitirizani ndi mndandanda wanu ndikuwonjezera makhalidwe abwino omwe wokondedwa wanu amawonetsa. Ndikusiyirani kaye kakuganizirani. Munthu aliyense ndi chitsanzo cha mbendera zobiriwira ndi zofiira . Simudzapeza mnzanu wopanda chilichonse mwa izi. Koma kuti mupange ubale wabwino, si bwino kutengeka ndi mbendera zobiriwira mpaka kuphonya zofiira. Tikukhulupirira kuti mupeza bwino kumeneko kwinakwake. Zikomo!

Nkhaniyi yasinthidwa mu Disembala 2022.

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