13 Green Flags Mu Ubale Kuti Muyang'ane Patsogolo

Mbendera zobiriwira mu ubale zimachepetsedwa kwambiri. Mphindi khumi ndi zisanu mu tsiku la khofi ndipo timakonda kupereka chidwi chathu chokha pakuwona mbendera zofiira mwa munthu yemwe angakhale naye pachibwenzi, mwachibadwa. Izi ndizabwino chifukwa tikufuna kuteteza mitima yathu yaying'ono ku masoka omwe tidakumana nawo kale. 

Nanga bwanji, pakusintha, nthawi ino mupita ndi malingaliro omasuka? M'malo mongoganizira za "OMG! Sakonda director omwe ndimawakonda!", Mukukumbatira nthabwala zake zamatsenga. Ali ndi kumwetulira kokongola, chabwino? Komanso adachita 'check dance' kuti agawane ndalamazo. Apo inu mukupita, atatu wobiriwira mbendera kulankhula siteji, pa tsiku loyamba. Amayitanira wachiwiri, simukuganiza?

Kotero, ndi chiyani kwenikweni zizindikiro zabwino mu ubale zomwe ziri zofunika kwambiri kuti mupange mgwirizano wathanzi? Kuti tikupatseni chithunzi chomveka bwino, tinalankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Juhi Pandey (MA Psychology) yemwe amagwira ntchito pazibwenzi, asanalowe m'banja, komanso upangiri wothetsa banja, ndipo adasankha ubongo wake kuti amvetsetse bwino.

Kodi Green Flags Mu Ubale Ndi Chiyani?

M'mawu osavuta, mbendera zobiriwira ndi makhalidwe a ubwino wachibadwa mwa wokondedwa wanu. Tiyerekeze, tsiku lina m'mawa mwadumpha chakudya cham'mawa ndikupita kuofesi mwachangu. Mukakhala wanjala kwambiri komanso wopusa kwambiri, mumalandira phukusi kuchokera kumalo omwe mumawakonda achi China ndi kapepala kakang'ono, "Idyani chakudya chamasana musanayambe kudzudzula aliyense muofesi". Mwakhumudwa ndi izi sonyezani kuti amakukondani kwambiri ndi kuganiza, “Kodi munthu angakhale bwanji woganizira motere?”

Kuti, apo pomwe pali chitsanzo chabwino kwambiri cha ubale wobiriwira mbendera. Zitha kukhala chilichonse kuyambira pamakhalidwe awo abwino, kukhwima m'malingaliro mpaka luntha, kapena kumwetulira kwakuphako. Kwenikweni, mbendera wobiriwira mwa munthu amatchula mbali yosiririka ya umunthu wawo kuti kukupatsani holo chiphaso kuti alowe bwinobwino ubale watsopano. Kodi posachedwapa mwawona mbendera khumi zobiriwira mwa mnyamata kapena mtsikana? Muli ndi chithandizo chathu chonse ngati mukufuna kuyika nthawi yanu yamtengo wapatali komanso mphamvu zamaganizidwe mwamunthu wodabwitsa uyu.

Kudziwa kuti mumagawana mfundo zofanana ndi SO yanu kuyambira koyambirira kumakupatsani chiyembekezo kuti muli patsamba lomwelo ndipo mwayamba bwino. Ngati zonse zikuyenda bwino, ubale wanu udzakhalapo kwa nthawi yayitali. Pokambirana ndi Juhi, adapanga fanizo labwino kwambiri pakati pa mitundu ndi mikhalidwe yofotokozedwa bwenzi lanu n'zogwirizana ndi inu.

Iye akuti, "Monga momwe mtundu wobiriwira uli chizindikiro cha chilengedwe, kukula, ndi kutukuka, mofananamo, mbendera zobiriwira mwa munthu zimasonyeza kuti amalola SO yawo kudzisamalira okha. Mwa kuvomereza umunthu wa mnzanuyo ndi kukhala dongosolo lothandizira losasunthika, mukuthandizira mwachindunji kukula kwawo ndi kulimbikitsa kolimba ku msinkhu wawo wodalirika ndi mphamvu zodzikonda."

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13 Green Flags Mu Ubale Kuti Muyang'ane Patsogolo

Mukudziwa, palibe njira imodzi yofotokozera mbendera zobiriwira muubwenzi wabwino. Munthu aliyense ali ndi mtundu wake. M'nkhani yanu, kulankhulana nthawi zonse kapena kuyang'ana nthawi kungakhale njira yabwino yolumikizirana ndi wokondedwa wanu mozama. Koma ngati mulankhula ndi mnansi wanu wa khomo loyandikana nawo, iwo angawone kukhala kotopetsa ndi kumva kukhala wotopa mumkhalidwe wofananawo. 

Tsopano popeza mukuganiza zowunika mosamalitsa zizindikiritso za machesi abwino, muyenera kuwongolera kaye mtundu wanu. Khalani chete ndikusinkhasinkha mosamala zosowa zanu ndi ziyembekezo mu ubale. Zidzakhala zosavuta kukonzekera mndandanda wamaganizo umenewo ngati mukunena zoona. Zachidziwikire, tikukulimbikitsani kuti mukhale osasunthika ndikukhala othandiza pamene mukuwonera wokondedwa wanu wamaloto atavala zamtengo wapatali komanso wopambana m'mbali zonse za moyo wawo.

Ngati simunazindikire kale, ngakhale Prince Charmings ndi Cinderellas adziko lenileni amabwera ndi zolakwa zawo komanso zowona. Ngati mukuyembekeza kuti akugulireni hatchi, kuwuluka ku Italy pa tsiku lanu loyamba, kapena kukhala okoma ngati pichesi 24×7, mungafunike kudikira pamzere wa moyo wonse kuti potsiriza kukumana ndi wokonda nkhani.

Pali zitsanzo za mbendera zobiriwira mu ubale kuti ndi zofunika kwambiri ndi mtheradi kufunikira a mgwirizano wathanzi. Malingana ndi Juhi, "Mbendera zazikulu zitatu zobiriwira zomwe muyenera kuziyang'ana mu chiyanjano ndi - munthuyo amakulemekezani, amakulolani kuti mukhale ndi moyo wanu, ndipo mumamvetsetsana za maudindo anu mu chiyanjano". Apa, tayikapo lingaliro polemba mbendera 13 zaubwenzi kuchokera kumalingaliro amtundu uliwonse kuti zithandize banja lililonse lazaka zatsopano:

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1. Mutha kusangalala kukhala chete nawo

Kutonthola kosautsa ndi bummer kwenikweni. Ngakhale anthu atatu kapena anayi atakhala patebulo la chakudya chamadzulo akhoza kumva "O ayi! Chomwe munganene chotsatira?", Osasiya anthu awiri pa tsiku. Mukafikira kukhala wokhutira ndi munthu wina, lingalirani momwe inu nonse mumakhalira movutikira, momwe mumakhalira otetezeka m'maganizo ndi munthu wokondedwayo. 

Inu mumapita padenga. Khalani pafupi wina ndi mzake. Usachite kalikonse, osanena kanthu. Ingoyang'anani nyenyezi ndi magetsi akuthwanima a mzinda muli chete. Mtheradi wosangalala! Ndi pang'ono lachinyengo kuzindikira wobiriwira mbendera mukulankhula siteji ya ubwenzi. Ngati muli kale ndi mlingo uwu wa chitonthozo ndi munthu wodabwitsa yemwe muli naye pachibwenzi, ndiye kuti ndizolimba chizindikiro kuti iwo ndi mlonda!

2. Amakhudzidwa ndi kusokonezeka kwa malingaliro anu

Moyo ndi kukwera njinga. Tsiku lina mudzakwezedwa pantchito, mphindi yotsatira imfa ya bwenzi lanu imakuphwanyani. Kuyambira pomwe mliri udatigwera, tonse takhala tikuwopsezedwa ndi nkhawa komanso mantha. Pamene mukulimbana ndi inu nokha kuti muthetse kunjenjemera ndi jitters, mungafunike wina kuti akugwireni dzanja ndikukhazika mtima pansi. Amatha kufotokoza momwe ubongo wanu wodera nkhawa ukukulira zinthu zing'onozing'ono kukhala chinthu choyipa. 

M'pofunika kuti munthu amene muli naye pachibwenzi amvetse ndi kumvetsa mmene mukuvutikira m'malo mokunyozani. Ndi imodzi mwa mbendera zobiriwira mu ubale zomwe simungathe kuzinyalanyaza. Juhi anati: “Mnzakoyo akuyenera kusamala za kusokonezeka kwa m’maganizo chifukwa chimenecho ndicho chiyambi cha ubale uliwonse umene ukuyenda bwino.Zimasonyezanso kuti munthuyo amakulandira monga momwe ulili. okondedwa ayenera kuthandizana pa zonse.”

3. Amamvetsetsa mukanena kuti 'ayi'

M'nkhani zathu zonse, timakulitsa kufunikira kolankhulana momasuka muubwenzi wabwino, ndipo kutha kunena malire anu kuyenera kukhala patsogolo. Chifukwa chakuti mumakondana ndi munthu sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuvomereza chilichonse chimene wapempha. Ngati mutero, zimenezo zidzangowonjezera kusadzidalira kwanu muubwenziwo.

Mukuyesera kuwapangitsa kukhala osangalala popereka zosowa zanu, malingaliro anu, ndi zosankha zanu. Chabwino, izo si zathanzi, sichoncho? Inu amaloledwa kukana filimu tsiku maganizo ngati ndinu wotopa pambuyo pa tsiku lalitali. Mutha nenani kuti ayi ku kugonana pamene inu simukumverera izo. Ndipo mukhoza kufotokoza zodandaula izi pamene mnzanuyo ali ndi mphamvu zotengera ndemangazo mwanzeru. 

Iwo akanayankha mwa kukukwiyitsani, kukukwiyirani, kapena kukusalankhulani. Simudziwa! Komabe, izi sizimawonjezera zitsanzo za mbendera zobiriwira muubwenzi. Juhi anatchula m’nkhani imeneyi kuti, “Kulemekeza ‘ayi’ kumatanthauza kuti mnzanuyo amakulemekezani monga munthu komanso munthu payekha.

4. Amagawana maudindo mofunitsitsa 

Ubale kwenikweni ndi ntchito zamagulu. Ndizosamveka kuyembekezera kuti munthu m'modzi ndiye aziyang'anira maudindo onse - akulu kapena ang'onoang'ono. Sindikunena za ntchito zapakhomo zokha. Udindo mu maubwenzi imagwera kupitirira izo ndipo imatha kuwoneka mumitundu yambiri ndi mawonekedwe. Pali maudindo azachuma, chipiriro chamalingaliro, kudzipereka mtsogolo, ndi zina zotero. 

Mutha kupanga izi mukangoyamba kukhala ndi bwenzi lanu. Kodi amakujowinani modzifunira kuti mutengere amayi anu kwa dokotala wamano? Kapena mwina simuyenera kuwakumbutsa kawiri kuti mugule zinthu mukakhala otanganidwa kuchapa zovala. Chongani ichi ngati chizindikiro cha chikondi. Ndi mbendera yobiriwira bwino. 

5. Mbendera zobiriwira zowoneka bwino kwambiri mwa mnyamata kapena mtsikana: Zimangoyang'anana maso

Ngakhale zingamveke ngati zosafunikira, kukopana ndi maso ali ndi chikoka chakuya pa tsogolo la ubale. Kodi inu ticked izi mu cheke wanu wobiriwira mbendera mu mnyamata kapena mtsikana pa tsiku loyamba lokha? Ngati inde, ndiye ndikukhulupirira kuti muli ndi mwayi. Ngati simunadziwe, alipo kafukufuku zomwe zimatsimikizira kuti kuyang'ana kosasweka kumakhala ndi mphamvu zowonjezera malingaliro achikondi. Zikumveka bwino.

Munthu yemwe amatha kuyang'anana mokhazikika (pokhapokha ngati ali ndi vuto la autistic ndipo sapeza kukhudzana ndi maso) amakhala wowona mtima pazolinga zawo. Iwo amapezeka kwambiri pazokambirana - mwakuthupi ndi m'maganizo. Palibe padziko lapansi chomwe chimawalepheretsa kukhala ndi inu nthawi yonseyi. Ndipo ndiyenera kunena mokweza kuti ndi chikondi ngati gehena? Kuyang'ana m'maso mwa wina ndi mzake, kumva magalasi a vinyo akugwedezeka - o, ganizirani za chemistry yopanga!

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6. Kupezeka kwamalingaliro ndi suti yawo yamphamvu

Chimodzi mwazinthu zobiriwira zofunika kwambiri paubwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi kapena wina aliyense: kupezeka kwawo m'malingaliro. Amuna, makamaka, nthawi zonse samalankhula za momwe akukulirakulira. Kufotokozera zakukhosi kwawo ndi chipwirikiti chamkati sikumakhala kophweka. 

Mukakumana ndi munthu yemwe ali womasuka kugawana nawo zoopsa zaubwana, mumadziwa kuti ndizochitika zenizeni. Mfundo yakuti iwo ali pachiopsezo pafupi nanu imasonyeza momwe amakudalirani ndikuyamikira ubalewu. Kusasinthasintha kwamalingaliro ndi mbendera yobiriwira yofunikira pakati pa amuna ndi akazi. 

7. Akukuonani m’tsogolo mwawo, pafupi ndi patali

Timawona izi ngati mbendera yobiriwira muubwenzi chifukwa zikuwonetsa ngati wokondedwa wanu ndi wodzipereka-phobe kapena osati. Munthu amene amayamikira moona mtima kupezeka kwanu m'moyo wake sangakusiyeni inu pa mapulani awo amtsogolo. Mwina angakufunseni kuti mupite ku ukwati ngati tsiku lomwe latsala miyezi isanu ndi inayi kuchokera pano. Atha kugawana malingaliro awo a nyumba yamaloto ndikufunsa malingaliro anu.

Mudzamvetsetsa bwino lomwe mukuyimilira mu ubalewu, komanso ngati muli patsamba lomwelo kapena ayi. Juhi akuti, "Kuwonana ndi wokondedwa wanu m'tsogolomu - kaya posachedwapa kapena zaka zisanu kuchokera pano - ndi ubale wamtundu wobiriwira. Umu ndi momwe mumadziwira kuti muli ndi chinachake chenicheni.

8. Mbendera yobiriwira mwa munthu: Amakuika patsogolo m'moyo wawo 

M'malingaliro athu, tonse timadziwa zomwe timayika patsogolo m'moyo - awa akhoza kukhala makolo athu, ntchito yathu, chilakolako, kapena bwenzi lapamtima. Timagawa nthawi ya zonsezi kutengera kukula kwake. Mutha kukwanitsa nthawi kuti muyesere zamasewera anu a ballet ngakhale muli otanganidwa ndi ntchito. Monga amanenera, "Zonse ndi zofunika kwambiri." Lingaliro lomwelo limagwiranso ntchito pa maubwenzi.

Pamene mukukweza mndandanda wazinthu zofunika kwambiri za munthu, ziyenera kuwoneka muzochita zawo. Ngati mukumva ngati ali kukusungani ngati zosunga zobwezeretsera ndipo osakupatsani kufunika koyenera, ndi bwino kuchokapo. Tiyeni tiyang'ane mbendera zochepa zobiriwira muubwenzi ndi mwamuna, mkazi, kapena munthu wosabadwa. Kodi akuchepetsa nthawi yokumana ndi anthu angapo kuti angocheza nanu? Kodi amakufikirani kuti akupatseni malangizo musanapange chisankho chachikulu? Pitirizani kuwonjezera. Pamene mndandanda ukukula, ubale wanu ukukula kwambiri kuposa kale. 

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9. Mbendera yobiriwira kwambiri paubwenzi: Chisamaliro chosagawanika 

Kodi mwakhala pa tsiku limene munthu wakhala pafupi nanu watayika pa foni nthawi zonse? Anayitanitsa ma mocktails ngakhale mumafuna khofi wozizira ndipo panthawiyi munalandira mafoni khumi. Kodi si chimodzi mwa izo kukhumudwa kwakukulu? Kusokonezedwa, kudzikonda, kapena kutanganidwa pokambirana sizomwe timazitcha kuti 'zizindikiro za machesi abwino', makamaka pamene mukuyamba kutuluka ndipo akuyenera kukhala osangalala ndi nthawi yomwe mumakhala limodzi.

Ndiye kodi mbendera zobiriwira mukulankhula siteji ya ubale? Wokondedwa wanu akufunitsitsa kukudziwani bwino. Sadzaphonya mwayi wokhala ndi khofi komanso kucheza nanu. Akhoza kuseka nthabwala zanu zopusa osati kungoseka mwachisoni. Ndikungocheza! Pamene munthu ali ndi 100% mwa inu, mudzadziwa kuti akumvetsera ndipo maganizo anu ndi ofunika, kaya ndi macheza opanda nzeru kapena kukhudzika kwakukulu pa nkhani inayake. 

10. Mumakonda chikondi (osati kugonana kokha!)

Mwandimva bwino. Kugonana kulidi chinthu chophwanya mgwirizano zomwe zingapangitse kusiyana kwa momwe mumamvera ndi munthu. Koma ubwenzi wokoma, wosalakwa wakuthupi uli ndi chithumwa chake. Kugona pamodzi kungatanthauzenso kuti munakumbatirana ndikusochera m’maloto okongola. Kodi kuyenera kukhala kugonana nthawi zonse? 

Chithunzi 1: Inu nonse mukugawana kabati mumvula. Amakukokerani pafupi ndikukukumbatirani. Wailesi ikusewera Ndi dziko labwino bwanji.

Chithunzi 2: Mukupanga khofi kukhitchini. Iwo amabwera kudzatenga botolo, ndikujompha pang'ono pa tsaya ndikuchoka. Palibe sewero, mphindi yokha yachikondi.

Chithunzi Chachitatu: Mukawoloka msewu, manja awo amangogwira manja anu mwachibadwa. 

Dziyerekezeni nokha m’zitsanzo zimenezi ndi kuwona mmene mukumvera mumtima mwanu. Abale, ndiye ameneyo. Ndipotu, posachedwapa phunziro ochitidwa ndi akatswiri a pa yunivesite ya Binghamton anapeza kugwirizana kwakukulu pakati pa kukhudza kwapamtima kosagonana (monga kukumbatirana, kugwirana chanza, kapena kukumbatirana) ndi maukwati olimba. Mukuti chiyani? Kodi si imodzi mwa mbendera zobiriwira zofunika kuyang'ana mu ubale?

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11. Iwo ali omasuka kuthetsa mavuto 

Ndikuuzeni, pali mitundu iwiri ya anthu paubwenzi. Amene amakufunsani kukhala pansi ndi kukambitsirana kopindulitsa kuti mupeze yankho la vuto limene lilipo. Winayo adzitchinjiriza nthawi yomweyo ndikukupatsirani mlandu wonse. Tsopano mumasankha kuti ndi iti yomwe ikuwoneka yokhazikika pakapita nthawi.

Kodi mukufuna kudutsa masewera osatha a zolekana ndi zigamba? Kapena mumalakalaka kukhazikika paubwenziwo ngati akulu akulu awiri okhwima? Chisankho ndi chanu. Kuti ndikupatseni lingaliro lochirikizidwa ndi kafukufuku, a nkhani lofalitsidwa mu Science Daily limasonyeza kuti ambiri mwa okwatirana amakonda kukangana mochuluka kapena mochepera pa nkhani zofanana—ana, ndalama, apongozi, kapena ubwenzi wapamtima. Chomwe chimapangitsa okwatirana achimwemwe kukhala osiyana ndi omvetsa chisoni ndicho njira yawo yothetsera mikangano.

Juhi akunena pankhaniyi, "Palibe chinthu chofanana ndi kulankhulana momasuka muubwenzi wabwino kuti mukhale ndi maganizo othana ndi mavuto pazifukwa zazikulu ndi zazing'ono. Ngati onse awiri ali oleza mtima kufotokoza ndi kumvetsera mbali ya wina ndi mzake pa nkhaniyo, vuto lililonse likhoza kuthetsedwa.  

12. Akudzidalira pakhungu lawo;

Wokondedwa wanu kukhala ndi chidaliro za ziyembekezo zawo, luso, ndipo chofunika kwambiri, kudzidziwa bwino kwambiri ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zabwino mu ubwenzi. Mfundo yoti amafotokoza bwino zolinga zawo zimatsimikizira kuti sipadzakhala misampha yadzidzidzi kapena mikangano yonyansa pakati panu. 

Simuyenera kuda nkhawa kuti ayamba kukhala ndi zinthu zambiri nthawi iliyonse. Munthu uyu adzakukhulupirirani moona mtima chifukwa ali ndi chikhulupiriro chonse pa zolinga zanu. Amadziwa kuti angathe kuthana ndi vuto lililonse laling'ono kapena lalikulu muubwenzi popanda kutaya malingaliro awo. Mudzapeza kukoma kwa kukhwima kwawo chifukwa saopa kutenga kuyankha mu ubale chifukwa cha zochita zawo. Ndiuzeni, ngati sichoncho, ndiye mbendera yobiriwira ndi chiyani?

13. Amachipanga chawamba kukhala chowonjezera 

Mukudziwa kuti gawo la honeymoon likatha, zomwe tatsala nazo ndizongochita zachizolowezi komanso zokambirana zakale. Koma ngati munthu uyu ali yomwe ili yanu, udzaona ngakhale masiku oipa akuŵala chifukwa cha kupezeka kwawo mmenemo. Amakupangitsani kuseka ndi kudzimva ngati munthu wosangalala kwambiri padziko lapansi!

Maphunziro otopetsa ku koleji samawoneka otopetsa ndi iwo atakhala pambali panu. Sikuti nthawi zonse mumafunika madeti apamwamba kapena mphatso zodula kuti musangalatse wina ndi mnzake. Kungokhala nawo komweko kumatonthoza mtima wanu. Ndipo izi zimamaliza mndandanda wathu wa mbendera zobiriwira zofunika paubwenzi. Ngati mutha kuyika chiphaso kupitilira theka la izi, tikubetcha kuti ubale wanu upitilira nthawi yayitali.

Koma sitikufuna kukuimitsani pano. Mumapitiriza ndi mndandanda wanu ndikuwonjezera makhalidwe abwino omwe wokondedwa wanu akupitiriza kusonyeza. Ndiloleni ndikusiyireni kachakudya kakang'ono kaganizidwe. Munthu aliyense ndi chitsanzo cha wobiriwira ndi mbendera zofiira. Simupeza mnzako wopanda chilichonse mwa izi. Koma kuti mupange mgwirizano wathanzi, sikuli kwanzeru kukokoloka ndi mbendera zobiriwira kuti muphonye zofiira. Tikukhulupirira kuti mupeza kulinganiza bwinoko kwinakwake panjira. Zikomo!

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