Kutaya chikondi kungakhale chochitika chopweteka kwambiri. Pamene kupweteka kumamveka ngati gawo lenileni la inu kung'ambika, mungapeze kuti mukudabwa momwe mungapitirire munthu mofulumira. Ndi iko komwe, mukamatero, m’pamenenso ululuwo utha msanga.
Komabe, anthu amapezeka kuti ali m'phompho la kusweka mtima kwa milungu, nthawi zina miyezi, pamapeto. Malinga ndi akatswiri, kuvomereza kuti chibwenzi chatha chingatenge milungu 11. Ngati muli paubwenzi wanthawi yayitali kapena chisudzulo, kukwatira wakale kumatha kutenga miyezi 18.
Ndi nthawi yayitali kwambiri yoyamwitsa mtima wosweka. Bwanji ngati titakuwuzani kuti ndizotheka kuthamangitsa njira yochoka kwa wakale wanu ndikubwezeretsanso moyo wanu? Wochita chidwi? Werengani kuti mumvetse mmene.
Psychology Yakudutsa Munthu Mwachangu
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kuchoka kwa wakale wanu mwachangu kumafuna malingaliro pa nkhani. Pazifukwa izi, muyenera kudzidziwa bwino ndi psychology yopambana munthu yemwe mumamukonda. Pali zambiri zolimbitsa thupi zomwe mungagwiritse ntchito kuti mukwaniritse cholinga ichi. Pofika pano, chimodzi mwazothandiza kwambiri ndi zomwe akatswiri azamisala amachitcha kuti classical conditioning.
Anthu nthawi zambiri amapanga mgwirizano wamaganizidwe pakati pa zochitika zosiyanasiyana, kugwirizanitsa wina ndi mzake. Mwachitsanzo, kununkhira kwa sinamoni ndi vanila kuchokera ku uvuni kungakukumbutseni za Khrisimasi, ndikukutengerani paulendo wopita ku nostalgia lane.
Mukamamva zonunkhira izi, mumakumbukiridwa za ubwana wanu. Fungo limeneli limagwirizanitsidwa ndi kutentha, chitetezo ndi chisangalalo.
N'chimodzimodzinso ndi maubwenzi anu. Tiyerekeze kuti inu ndi wakale wanu munakumana koyamba kuntchito kwanu. Tsopano, ngodya iliyonse muofesiyo imabweretsa chigumula cha kukumbukira. Pamene mudagawana nawo chakudya pa desiki yawo kapena momwe munali kukopana m'masiku oyambirirawo. Momwe mumathamangira kukapuma khofi kapena mumatuluka muchipinda chamsonkhano muholoyo.
Tsopano tinene, mumagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zanu zonse kuti muchite bwino pantchito m'malo momangokhalira kumangokhalira kukumbukira zinthu zakale. Mumagwira ntchito molimbika pa ulaliki wofunikira ndikuukhomera. Abwana anu ndi antchito anzanu onse aima mozungulira chipinda chimodzi chamsonkhano, akukuyamikirani chifukwa cha ntchito yanu.
Tsopano, mukawona chipinda chamsonkhanocho mudzakumbutsidwa za kuwomba m'manja ndi kuyamikira osati kutentha, kukonda. kupanga-out session.
Mwa kupanga zokumana nazo zabwino zotere, mutha kuswa mayanjano akale, kupanga zatsopano ndikumasula malingaliro anu kuzinthu zakale. Iyi ndi njira yoyesera ndi yowona kuti malingaliro anu asunthike mwachangu kuchokera ku wakale.
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Malangizo 11 Othandiza Komanso Otheka Kuti Mugonjetse Munthu Mwachangu
Kaya mukuvutika kuti mugwirizane ndi kutha kwa ubale wanthawi yayitali, kukangana kwakanthawi, kusweka kwambiri kapena chikondi chomwe simunakhale nacho, kusintha sikophweka. Ngakhale kuti aliyense amachita zosweka mtima mosiyana, mfundo yaikulu ndi yakuti chochitikacho ndi kulimbana.
Ngakhale simungathe kuthawa ululu wonsewo, mutha kufupikitsa kuthamanga kwake pophunzira kuchiritsa mtima wosweka ndikuthana ndi munthu mwachangu. Malangizo 11 awa othandiza komanso othandiza adzakuthandizani kuchita izi:
1. Chisoni kuti mulandire munthu mwachangu
Chimodzi mwa zolakwika zomwe zimachitika pambuyo pa kutha kapena kutha kwa nkhani yachikondi ndikubotolola ululu. Lingaliro lakuti posavomereza kuti mwasweka ndi kusweka bwanji mungathe kukhumba kuti malingaliro awa asokonezeke.
M'malo mwake, dziloleni kuti mumve kuchuluka kwa ululu wanu ndikulumikizana ndi malingaliro anu. Tengani nthawi kuti kukumana ndi chisoni ichi kapena kukanidwa. Polankhula ndi kuwonetsa chisoni chanu, mutha kudzikonzekeretsa kuti musunthe kuchokera ku chikondi cha moyo wanu kapena kuti munthu wina wapadera yemwe munamusiya. Ngakhale zinali kusweka kapena munthu simunayambe kwenikweni chibwenzi, muyenera kukhala pansi ndi ululu pamaso inu mukhoza kupeza pa munthu amene kukupwetekani.
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2. Pangani njira yothandizira kuchiritsa mtima wosweka
Mukakhala pachibwenzi, wokondedwa wanu amakhala pakati pa chilengedwe chanu. Awa anali anthu oyamba omwe mudagawana nawo chilichonse m'moyo wanu. Tsopano popeza apita, pali chosowa chachikulu. Nthawi iliyonse mukakhala ndi china choti mugawane, kusapezeka kwawo kumatha kukugundani ngati mphezi.
Kupanga njira ina yothandizira yokhala ndi makolo anu, abale anu kapena bwenzi lapamtima kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi munthu yemwe mumamukonda kwambiri. Pamene anthuwa amakhala okulimbikitsani m'moyo wanu, kusungulumwa kumayamba kuchepa. Posachedwapa, simudzakhala mukulakalaka kwambiri wakale ameneyo kapena chikondi chakale. Ichi ndi sitepe yofunikira kuti mupambane munthu.
3. Ganizirani za kumva bwino
Kaya mukufuna kuthana ndi kusweka kapena munthu amene mwakhala naye pachibwenzi, kubwezeretsanso malo anu am'maganizo ndikofunikira kwambiri pakuchitapo kanthu. Zilibe kanthu kuti munthuyo ankatanthauza chiyani kwa inu panthawi ina.
Zoona zake n’zakuti apita tsopano. Pitirizani kudzikumbutsa kuti ndinu wamtengo wapatali kwambiri moti simungathe kulirira munthu amene wasankha kusakhala nanu. M'malo mwake, tsimikizani kuika maganizo anu pa kudzimva bwino. Khalani ndi cholinga choti muyambe kubwerera ku moyo wanu wamba, ndikuchitapo kanthu tsiku lililonse.
Mudzayamba kuwona kupita patsogolo, tsiku limodzi panthawi. Pang'onopang'ono koma motsimikizika, mudzachoka kwa mwamuna/mkazi amene anakupwetekani, ndikuchiritsa mtima wanu wosweka.
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4. Osaiwala zomwe zidalakwika
Maubwenzi satha popanda chifukwa. Pali nthawi zonse mavuto a ubale pa play. Pamene munali limodzi, nkhanizi zinayamba kulamulira ubale wanu. Koma tsopano popeza mwasiya, maganizo anu osasangalala akhoza kungoyang'ana pa zonse zomwe poyamba zinali zabwino.
Ngati mukuyesera kuthana ndi mnyamata amene anakukhumudwitsani kapena mtsikana amene wapondereza mtima wanu, musaiwale zomwe zinalakwika pachibwenzi chanu. Lembani mndandanda wamavuto anu onse kapena zolakwa za wakale wanu kuti musiye kukwiya chifukwa chakutaya.
Izi zidzakupulumutsani kuti musagwe mumsampha wofuna kubwererana ndi munthu wakale yemwe simunagwirizane naye. Dzikumbutseni kuti iwo sanali angwiro, kuti panali zifukwa zomveka zimene sizinaphule kanthu. Izi zimakuthandizani kuti mupite patsogolo mwachangu, ndipo pamapeto pake muiwale wakale yemwe wakukhumudwitsani.
5. Lankhulani ndi munthu wina za nkhaniyi
Nthawi zambiri, timalephera kuona mmene zinthu zilili pa moyo wathu. Kapena ngakhale titadziwa kuti chinachake sichili bwino kwa ife, timapitiriza kuchichita mosasamala kanthu za ifeyo. Zikatero, zimathandiza kukhala ndi munthu wina ngati choimbira chanu.
Kuti muchoke mwachangu kuchokera kwa wakale wanu, kambiranani zonse zomwe zidasokonekera muubwenzi wanu ndi mnzanu kapena munthu wina yemwe mumamukhulupirira. Adzakuthandizani kudziwa chifukwa chake uku kunali koyenera kwa inu. Ngakhale zitakhala zovuta panthawiyo, mudzalandira kuvomereza kuti kutha kwaubwenzi kuli kwabwino kwambiri.
Kuti mumve zambiri zamakanema akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.
6. Yang'anani pa kudzikweza kuti muchiritse mtima wosweka
Mbali yofunikira ya kuchoka pa ex wanu ndikuchotsa malingaliro anu pagalasi lakumbuyo ndikuyang'ana kutsogolo. Kuika maganizo pa kudzikweza kudzakuthandizani kutero. Yang'anirani zomwe zalakwika muubwenzi ndi gawo lanu pa icho.
Kenako, gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yomwe muli nayo nokha kukonza zolakwika ndi zolakwika zanu. Koma osati kubwererana ndi wakale wanu. Chitani chifukwa cha inu nokha. Pofuna kumanga ubale wabwinoko, wabwino kwambiri m'tsogolomu. Koposa zonse, chitani izi kuti mukhale mtundu wabwinoko. Uku ndi kudzikuza, ndipo ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri pakuthana ndi vuto kapena ubale womwe wakusiyani ndi dzenje mu mtima mwanu.
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7. Vomerezani kuti munthuyo tsopano ndi wakale wanu
Kuvomereza kumeneku nthawi zambiri kumakhala vuto lathu lalikulu pankhani yoti tisinthe kapena kuiwala munthu yemwe mumamukonda kwambiri. Ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri kukwaniritsa. Kuvomereza kuti simudzawadzutsanso m'mawa. Kapena dzina lawo silidzawalanso pa foni yanu.
Kuti simungathenso kungoyika nkhope yanu pachifuwa patatha tsiku lalitali, lovuta. Mfundo yakuti mwayi umenewu udzatengedwa ndi munthu wina m'moyo wawo panthawi ina. Kuzindikira uku kungapweteke nthawi iliyonse mukaganizira.
Chifukwa chake, muyenera kubwereza zochitikazi m'mutu mwanu mobwerezabwereza mpaka mutha kuzindikira zenizeni za kutha.
8. Tsatirani Lamulo Lopanda Kulumikizana
Mukufuna kuthana ndi kusweka mwachangu? Kapena bwenzi lalitali? The Palibe Contact Lamulo ndi njira yothandiza yochepetsera nyimbo. Izi zikutanthauza kuti kuyimitsa kulankhulana konse ndi munthuyo kwa nthawi yosachepera masiku 30 koma mutha kukulitsa nthawi yonse yomwe ingakutengereni kuti muchiritse mtima wosweka.
Pochita izi, mumadzipatsa nthawi yoti muchiritse, kudzifufuza ndikusankha zomwe mukufuna m'tsogolomu. Mukudziwa kuti No Contact Rule ikugwira ntchito mukatha kusiya kuganizira za munthu wina ndikuyamba kudziganizira nokha.
9. Musayang'ane kutseka
Chinthu chimodzi chomwe chimatipangitsa kuti tizikondana ndi abwenzi athu kapena otaya chikondi ndi chathu kufuna kutseka. Nanga n’cifukwa ciani anacita zimenezo? N’cifukwa ciani sakanakukondani? Kodi iwo ankatanthauza kuti 'ndimakukondani'? Zikanatheka bwanji kuti chikondi chawo chigwere mosavuta chonchi?
Kufunika kotseka kumeneku kumakhala kovutirapo kwambiri ngati munakuberedwa kapena kukhululukidwa kwachinyengo. Kaya mukufuna kuthana ndi munthu mwachangu yemwe simunakhale naye pachibwenzi kapena mumakondana naye mopenga, muyenera kusiya kufunafuna kutseka.
Ngati munthu winayo wakukhumudwitsani kapena kukuseweretsani nthawi yonseyi, mwayi woti abwerenso pamodzi ndi inu ndi wochepa.
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10. Chotsani zinthu zomwe zimakukumbutsani
Ngati mukufuna kusiya kapena kuiwala munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri, muyenera kudzilimbitsa kuti musiye chilichonse chomwe chimakukumbutsani. Zithunzi pama TV, mphatso, zinthu zawo m'nyumba mwanu.
Muyenera kuyeretsa mozama kuti muchotse zikumbutso zilizonse za kukhalapo kwawo m'moyo wanu. Izi zimakuthandizani kuti muthe kuphwanya dongosolo la mayanjano. Komabe, musachite zinthu mopupuluma pa izi kapena munganong'oneze bondo kuti munachotsa kukumbukira zonse za ubale wofunikira pambuyo pake. Chitani ntchitoyi mpaka mutamva chisoni ndi kutaya kwanu ndikupita patsogolo kuti mutengenso moyo wanu. Kenako, taya zomwe simukuzifuna ndikusiya chilichonse chomwe mungafune kusunga kuti musamachiyang'ane tsiku lililonse.
11. Pondani mosamala pamakwerero
Nthawi zambiri, anthu amatsatira malangizo a 'kugonjetsa munthu mwachangu potsatira malangizo a munthu wina' momveka bwino komanso mozama. Koma rebound maubale sizinthu zabwino kwenikweni. Makamaka ngati simunakonzekere kukhala ndi mayanjano achikondi, ngakhale atakhala opanda zingwe. Kusiyapo pyenepi, munakwanisa kukhuya munthu unango m’mabonde mwakukhonda nentsa.
Kumbali ina, ngati mbali zonse ziwiri zikuwonekeratu za kuthamangitsidwa kwaufupi, kopanda zingwe, kubwereza kungakuthandizeninso kuti mupite mofulumira kuchokera kwa wakale wanu ndi kubwereranso pachibwenzi. Kaya kapena ayi kulowa mu ubale rebound ndi kusankha kwanu. Koma muyenera kupenda zabwino ndi zoipa mosamala musanalowe.
Kumbukirani, si nkhani iliyonse yomwe imakhala yosangalatsa nthawi zonse. Zina ndi kukumana kwanthawi kochepa komwe kumapita patsogolo. Mukagonjetsa munthu mofulumira, simumangodzipulumutsa nokha kudziko lachisoni komanso mumalepheretsa kudzidalira kwanu kuti musagonje. Kuchoka pa chikondi cha moyo wanu si pikiniki. Koma tikukhulupirira, ngati mukuyamwitsa mtima wosweka, kutsatira malangizowa kudzakuthandizani kutembenuza tsamba latsopano ndikumanganso moyo wanu.
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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
