Kutaya chikondi kungakhale chochitika chopweteka kwambiri. Pamene kupweteka kumamveka ngati gawo lenileni la inu kung'ambika, mungapeze kuti mukudabwa momwe mungapitirire munthu mofulumira. Ndi iko komwe, mukamatero, m’pamenenso ululuwo utha msanga.
Komabe, anthu amapezeka kuti ali m'phompho la kusweka mtima kwa milungu, nthawi zina miyezi, pamapeto. Malinga ndi akatswiri, kuvomereza kuti chibwenzi chatha chingatenge milungu 11. Ngati muli paubwenzi wanthawi yayitali kapena chisudzulo, kukwatira wakale kumatha kutenga miyezi 18.
Ndi nthawi yayitali kwambiri yoyamwitsa mtima wosweka. Bwanji ngati titakuwuzani kuti ndizotheka kuthamangitsa njira yochoka kwa wakale wanu ndikubwezeretsanso moyo wanu? Wochita chidwi? Werengani kuti mumvetse mmene.
Psychology Yakudutsa Munthu Mwachangu
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kuchoka kwa wakale wanu mwachangu kumafuna malingaliro pa nkhani. Pazifukwa izi, muyenera kudzidziwa bwino ndi psychology yopambana munthu yemwe mumamukonda. Pali zambiri zolimbitsa thupi zomwe mungagwiritse ntchito kuti mukwaniritse cholinga ichi. Pofika pano, chimodzi mwazothandiza kwambiri ndi zomwe akatswiri azamisala amachitcha kuti classical conditioning.
Anthu nthawi zambiri amapanga mgwirizano wamaganizidwe pakati pa zochitika zosiyanasiyana, kugwirizanitsa wina ndi mzake. Mwachitsanzo, kununkhira kwa sinamoni ndi vanila kuchokera ku uvuni kungakukumbutseni za Khrisimasi, ndikukutengerani paulendo wopita ku nostalgia lane.
Mukamamva zonunkhira izi, mumakumbukiridwa za ubwana wanu. Fungo limeneli limagwirizanitsidwa ndi kutentha, chitetezo ndi chisangalalo.
N'chimodzimodzinso ndi maubwenzi anu. Tiyerekeze kuti inu ndi wakale wanu munakumana koyamba kuntchito kwanu. Tsopano, ngodya iliyonse muofesiyo imabweretsa chigumula cha kukumbukira. Pamene mudagawana nawo chakudya pa desiki yawo kapena momwe munali kukopana m'masiku oyambirirawo. Momwe mumathamangira kukapuma khofi kapena mumatuluka muchipinda chamsonkhano muholoyo.
Tsopano tinene, mumagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zanu zonse kuti muchite bwino pantchito m'malo momangokhalira kumangokhalira kukumbukira zinthu zakale. Mumagwira ntchito molimbika pa ulaliki wofunikira ndikuukhomera. Abwana anu ndi antchito anzanu onse aima mozungulira chipinda chimodzi chamsonkhano, akukuyamikirani chifukwa cha ntchito yanu.
Tsopano, mukawona chipinda chamisonkhanocho mudzakumbutsidwa za kuwomba m'manja ndi chiyamiko osati gawo lotentha komanso losangalatsa la zosangalatsa.
Mwa kupanga zokumana nazo zabwino zotere, mutha kuswa mayanjano akale, kupanga zatsopano ndikumasula malingaliro anu kuzinthu zakale. Iyi ndi njira yoyesera ndi yowona kuti malingaliro anu asunthike mwachangu kuchokera ku wakale.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mungatani Kuti Muthetse Kusudzulana Nokha?
Malangizo 11 Othandiza Komanso Otheka Kuti Mugonjetse Munthu Mwachangu
Kaya mukuvutika kuti mugwirizane ndi kutha kwa ubale wanthawi yayitali, kukangana kwakanthawi, kusweka kwambiri kapena chikondi chomwe simunakhale nacho, kusintha sikophweka. Ngakhale kuti aliyense amachita zosweka mtima mosiyana, mfundo yaikulu ndi yakuti chochitikacho ndi kulimbana.
Ngakhale simungathe kuthawa ululu wonsewo, mutha kufupikitsa kuthamanga kwake pophunzira kuchiritsa mtima wosweka ndikuthana ndi munthu mwachangu. Malangizo 11 awa othandiza komanso othandiza adzakuthandizani kuchita izi:
1. Chisoni kuti mulandire munthu mwachangu
Chimodzi mwa zolakwika zomwe zimachitika pambuyo pa kutha kapena kutha kwa nkhani yachikondi ndikubotolola ululu. Lingaliro lakuti posavomereza kuti mwasweka ndi kusweka bwanji mungathe kukhumba kuti malingaliro awa asokonezeke.
M'malo mwake, lolani kuti mumve ululu wanu wonse ndipo dziwani momwe mukumvera. Tengani nthawi yokumana ndi chisoni kapena kukanidwa kumeneku . Mwa kulankhula ndi kufotokoza chisoni chanu, mutha kukonzekera kuchoka pa chikondi cha moyo wanu kapena munthu wapadera amene munamusiya. Ngakhale atakhala wokondedwa kapena munthu amene simunayambe mwakhala naye pachibwenzi, muyenera kukhala pansi ndi ululuwo musanathe kuiwala munthu amene anakupwetekani.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 7 Zomwe Palibe Amene Amakuuzani Zokhudza Kusudzulana
2. Pangani njira yothandizira kuchiritsa mtima wosweka
Mukakhala pachibwenzi, wokondedwa wanu amakhala pakati pa chilengedwe chanu. Awa anali anthu oyamba omwe mudagawana nawo chilichonse m'moyo wanu. Tsopano popeza apita, pali chosowa chachikulu. Nthawi iliyonse mukakhala ndi china choti mugawane, kusapezeka kwawo kumatha kukugundani ngati mphezi.
Kupanga njira ina yothandizira yokhala ndi makolo anu, abale anu kapena bwenzi lapamtima kungakuthandizeni kuthana ndi munthu yemwe mumamukonda kwambiri. Pamene anthuwa amakhala okulimbikitsani m'moyo wanu, kusungulumwa kumayamba kuchepa. Posachedwapa, simudzakhala mukulakalaka kwambiri wakale ameneyo kapena chikondi chakale. Ichi ndi sitepe yofunikira kuti mupambane munthu.
3. Ganizirani za kumva bwino
Kaya mukufuna kuthana ndi kusweka kapena munthu amene mwakhala naye pachibwenzi, kubwezeretsanso malo anu am'maganizo ndikofunikira kwambiri pakuchitapo kanthu. Zilibe kanthu kuti munthuyo ankatanthauza chiyani kwa inu panthawi ina.
Zoona zake n’zakuti apita tsopano. Pitirizani kudzikumbutsa kuti ndinu wamtengo wapatali kwambiri moti simungathe kulirira munthu amene wasankha kusakhala nanu. M'malo mwake, tsimikizani kuika maganizo anu pa kudzimva bwino. Khalani ndi cholinga choti muyambe kubwerera ku moyo wanu wamba, ndikuchitapo kanthu tsiku lililonse.
Mudzayamba kuwona kupita patsogolo, tsiku limodzi panthawi. Pang'onopang'ono koma motsimikizika, mudzachoka kwa mwamuna/mkazi amene anakupwetekani, ndikuchiritsa mtima wanu wosweka.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Masitepe 7 a Kusweka Komwe Aliyense Amadutsamo
4. Osaiwala zomwe zidalakwika
Ubale sutha popanda chifukwa. Nthawi zonse pamakhala mavuto muubwenzi . Mukakhala limodzi, mavutowa anayamba kulamulira ubale wanu. Koma tsopano popeza mwatha, malingaliro anu odzaza ndi zokumbukira zakale angangoyang'ana pa zonse zomwe zinali zabwino pa ubalewo.
Ngati mukuyesera kuthana ndi mnyamata amene anakukhumudwitsani kapena mtsikana amene wapondereza mtima wanu, musaiwale zomwe zinalakwika pachibwenzi chanu. Lembani mndandanda wamavuto anu onse kapena zolakwa za wakale wanu kuti musiye kukwiya chifukwa chakutaya.
Izi zidzakupulumutsani kuti musagwe mumsampha wofuna kubwererana ndi munthu wakale yemwe simunagwirizane naye. Dzikumbutseni kuti iwo sanali angwiro, kuti panali zifukwa zomveka zimene sizinaphule kanthu. Izi zimakuthandizani kuti mupite patsogolo mwachangu, ndipo pamapeto pake muiwale wakale yemwe wakukhumudwitsani.
5. Lankhulani ndi munthu wina za nkhaniyi
Nthawi zambiri, timalephera kuona mmene zinthu zilili pa moyo wathu. Kapena ngakhale titadziwa kuti chinachake sichili bwino kwa ife, timapitiriza kuchichita mosasamala kanthu za ifeyo. Zikatero, zimathandiza kukhala ndi munthu wina ngati choimbira chanu.
Kuti muchoke mwachangu kuchokera kwa wakale wanu, kambiranani zonse zomwe zidasokonekera muubwenzi wanu ndi mnzanu kapena munthu wina yemwe mumamukhulupirira. Adzakuthandizani kudziwa chifukwa chake uku kunali koyenera kwa inu. Ngakhale zitakhala zovuta panthawiyo, mudzalandira kuvomereza kuti kutha kwaubwenzi kuli kwabwino kwambiri.
Kuti mumve zambiri zamakanema akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.
6. Yang'anani pa kudzikweza kuti muchiritse mtima wosweka
Mbali yofunika kwambiri yosinthira ku ubale wanu ndi wakale ndikuchotsa chidwi chanu pagalasi lowonera kumbuyo ndikuyang'ana patsogolo. Kuyang'ana kwambiri pa kudzikonza kudzakuthandizani kuchita zimenezo. Ganizirani zomwe zinalakwika muubwenzi wanu ndi gawo lanu muubwenziwo.
Kenako, gwiritsani ntchito nthawi yomwe muli nayo nokha kukonza zolakwika ndi zolakwika zanu. Koma osati kubwererana ndi wakale wanu. Chitani chifukwa cha inu nokha. Pofuna kumanga ubale wabwinoko, wabwino kwambiri m'tsogolomu. Koposa zonse, chitani izi kuti mukhale mtundu wabwinoko. Uku ndi kudzikuza, ndipo ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kwambiri pakuthana ndi vuto kapena ubale womwe wakusiyani ndi dzenje mu mtima mwanu.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungathetsere Ubwenzi Pabwino
7. Vomerezani kuti munthuyo tsopano ndi wakale wanu
Kuvomereza kumeneku nthawi zambiri kumakhala vuto lathu lalikulu pankhani yoti tisinthe kapena kuiwala munthu yemwe mumamukonda kwambiri. Ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri kukwaniritsa. Kuvomereza kuti simudzawadzutsanso m'mawa. Kapena dzina lawo silidzawalanso pa foni yanu.
Kuti simungathenso kungoyika nkhope yanu pachifuwa patatha tsiku lalitali, lovuta. Mfundo yakuti mwayi umenewu udzatengedwa ndi munthu wina m'moyo wawo panthawi ina. Kuzindikira uku kungapweteke nthawi iliyonse mukaganizira.
Chifukwa chake, muyenera kubwereza zochitikazi m'mutu mwanu mobwerezabwereza mpaka mutha kuzindikira zenizeni za kutha.
8. Tsatirani Lamulo Lopanda Kulumikizana
Mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzi chanu mwachangu? Kapena mnzanu wa nthawi yayitali? Lamulo Losalankhulana ndi njira yothandiza yochepetsera chilakolakocho. Izi zikutanthauza kusiya kulankhulana ndi munthuyo kwa masiku 30 koma mutha kukulitsa ubale wanu malinga ndi nthawi yomwe ingakutengereni kuti muchiritse mtima wosweka.
Pochita izi, mumadzipatsa nthawi yoti muchiritse, kudzifufuza ndikusankha zomwe mukufuna m'tsogolomu. Mukudziwa kuti No Contact Rule ikugwira ntchito mukatha kusiya kuganizira za munthu wina ndikuyamba kudziganizira nokha.
9. Musayang'ane kutseka
Chinthu chimodzi chomwe chimatipangitsa kukhala otanganidwa ndi akale athu kapena zibwenzi zomwe tataya ndi kufunafuna kwathu kutseka banja . N’chifukwa chiyani anachita zomwe anachita? N’chifukwa chiyani sanakukondeni? Kodi ankatanthauzadi zimenezi akamanena kuti ‘Ndimakukonda’? Kodi akanatha bwanji kusiya kukondana mosavuta chonchi?
Kufunika kotseka kumeneku kumakhala kovutirapo kwambiri ngati munakuberedwa kapena kukhululukidwa kwachinyengo. Kaya mukufuna kuthana ndi munthu mwachangu yemwe simunakhale naye pachibwenzi kapena mumakondana naye mopenga, muyenera kusiya kufunafuna kutseka.
Ngati munthu winayo wakukhumudwitsani kapena kukuseweretsani nthawi yonseyi, mwayi woti abwerenso pamodzi ndi inu ndi wochepa.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 5 Zotsimikizira Kutseka Pambuyo Pakutha Kwa Chibwenzi
10. Chotsani zinthu zomwe zimakukumbutsani
Ngati mukufuna kusiya kapena kuiwala munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri, muyenera kudzilimbitsa kuti musiye chilichonse chomwe chimakukumbutsani. Zithunzi pama TV, mphatso, zinthu zawo m'nyumba mwanu.
Muyenera kuyeretsa mozama kuti muchotse zikumbutso zilizonse za kukhalapo kwawo m'moyo wanu. Izi zimakuthandizani kuti muthe kuphwanya dongosolo la mayanjano. Komabe, musachite zinthu mopupuluma pa izi kapena munganong'oneze bondo kuti munachotsa kukumbukira zonse za ubale wofunikira pambuyo pake. Chitani ntchitoyi mpaka mutamva chisoni ndi kutaya kwanu ndikupita patsogolo kuti mutengenso moyo wanu. Kenako, taya zomwe simukuzifuna ndikusiya chilichonse chomwe mungafune kusunga kuti musamachiyang'ane tsiku lililonse.
11. Pondani mosamala pamakwerero
Kawirikawiri, anthu amatsatira malangizo akuti 'muthawire munthu mwachangu mwa kunyalanyaza wina' m'njira yeniyeni komanso mozama. Koma kubwereranso muubwenzi si chinthu chabwino kwenikweni. Makamaka, ngati simunakonzekere kukhala ndi chibwenzi, ngakhale chitakhala chopanda malire. Kupatula apo, mumakhala pachiwopsezo chovulaza munthu winayo popanda chifukwa chake.
Kumbali ina, ngati mbali zonse ziwiri zikuwonekeratu za kuthamangitsidwa kwaufupi, kopanda zingwe, kubwereza kungakuthandizeninso kuti mupite mofulumira kuchokera kwa wakale wanu ndi kubwereranso pachibwenzi. Kaya kapena ayi kulowa mu ubale rebound ndi kusankha kwanu. Koma muyenera kupenda zabwino ndi zoipa mosamala musanalowe.
Kumbukirani, si nkhani iliyonse yomwe imakhala yosangalatsa nthawi zonse. Zina ndi kukumana kwanthawi kochepa komwe kumapita patsogolo. Mukagonjetsa munthu mofulumira, simumangodzipulumutsa nokha kudziko lachisoni komanso mumalepheretsa kudzidalira kwanu kuti musagonje. Kuchoka pa chikondi cha moyo wanu si pikiniki. Koma tikukhulupirira, ngati mukuyamwitsa mtima wosweka, kutsatira malangizowa kudzakuthandizani kutembenuza tsamba latsopano ndikumanganso moyo wanu.
Zifukwa 7 Simungadye Mukatha Kusweka + 3 Ma Hacks Osavuta Kuti Mubwezeretse Chilakolako Chanu
Malangizo 11 Okuthandizani Kuposa Munthu Amene Simunakhale Naye
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
