Momwe Mungatsekere Pambuyo pa Kusudzulana

Kufalitsa chikondi

Msungwana wanga wa BFF adasiyana naye mwadzidzidzi patatha zaka ziwiri tili limodzi. Amamuwona pamisonkhano tsiku lililonse. “Sindingathe kuthana ndi kulekana kumeneku,” iye akuulula motero. “Mwinamwake chifukwa chakuti ubwenzi sunathe,” ndinalingalira motero. “Ukunena zoona,” iye anausa moyo, ndipo anapitiriza kuti, “Ndikufuna kutsekedwa.

“Mmene tingatsekeredwe pambuyo pa kupatukana” zingativutitse maganizo, makamaka ngati kulekanako kunkaoneka ngati sikunapite patsogolo. Kutha kwadzidzidzi kungapangitse wina kusokoneza dzenje lazinthu zomwe zingawoneke zosatheka kuthana nazo. Ndipo njira yokhayo yotulukira ikuwoneka ngati mlingo wamatsenga wotseka womwe mumalakalaka.

Kodi kutseka ndikofunikira? Kodi tingapitirire popanda izo? Ngati kuli kofunikira, munthu amapita bwanji kuti atseke? Tiye tikambirane za izi, kuti mutha kudziwa zifukwa zomwe mumadziuza nokha, "Ndikufuna kutsekedwa".

Kodi Kutseka Ndikofunikiradi?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Priya Chaphekar akukambirana izi pa gulu la Bonobology: Mu nthawi ino pamene anthu akutha pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, kodi kutseka maso ndi maso n'kofunika bwanji? Kodi nthawi zonse timafunikira? Akatswiri azachipatala ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo amakhulupirira kuti kusakhalapo kwa kutseka muubwenzi kungayambitse kumva kupweteka ndi kukanidwa. Pachifukwa ichi, gawo loyamba ndikutanthauzira tanthauzo la kutseka nokha.

Mukamvetsetsa zomwe zikutsekera kwa inu, kufunafuna kumakhala kosavuta. Mudzadziwa zomwe mukuyang'ana, ndipo mwinanso chifukwa chomwe mukuganiza kuti kutsekedwa mutatha kupatukana ndikofunikira kwa inu. Kuchita zimenezi kungatanthauze zinthu zosiyanasiyana kwa anthu osiyanasiyana, monga mmene zikuonekera m’mayankho a owerenga athu ku funso lakuti, “Kodi kutseka n’kofunikadi?”

1. Kufunika mtunda

Kuti muthetse chibwenzi chanu chifukwa cha kusudzulana, muyenera mtunda wa thupi ndi maganizo. Ichi ndichifukwa chake lamulo lakuti "Osalankhulana" limalimbikitsidwa mukasudzulana. Simungachiritse ndikupitiriza ngati mukupitabe kukaonana ndi wakale wanu, kapena mukuchita naye zinthu zakuthupi komanso zamaganizo.

Muyenera kudzichiritsa nokha ndikupeza kutsekeka, ngakhale mutakhala kuti mulibe kusanzikana pambuyo poti ubale watha. Shehnaz akuti, “Kutseka sikuyenera kubwera chifukwa cha msonkhano wa maso ndi maso.

“Pamapeto pake, munthu ayenera kusiya mayankho ake kapena opanda mayankho,” Priya akuvomereza motero.

Kusweka kumayamwa, palibe kukana izi - makamaka ngati ubale wanu unali ndi munthu yemwe mumamukonda kwambiri, kapena mudakhala naye kwa nthawi yayitali.

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2. Kuzindikira zenizeni

Tifunika kutsekedwa chifukwa kuchira pambuyo pa kusudzulana kumatha kukhala kwanthawi yayitali popanda kuchira. Sikophweka kusandutsa munthu amene kale anali dziko lanu, pakati pa chilichonse, kukhala mlendo weniweni. Kutseka kumakuthandizani kuti mugwirizane ndi mfundo yakuti zinthu zatha.

Renica Rego anati: “Kutseka kumafanana ndi kuvomereza zimene zinali zofunika pamene tikutsanzikana mwachisomo, kumakhala bwino nthawi zonse. Kukhala mu kukana kumawonjezera kufunikira kwa kutsekedwa mu ubale, nthawi zambiri kumakusiyani kumamatira pa gawo lomwelo lakuyenda popanda kupita patsogolo.

3. Muyenera kutseka kuti mupitirize

Kutseka kumakuthandizani kuti mupite patsogolo m'moyo mutatha kupatukana, osakupangitsani kuyenda mozungulira. Zimakuthandizani pokupatsani mwayi wodzichiritsa nokha ku mabala omwe ubale wanu wakale udayambitsa. Kodi pali china choyipa kuposa kukhala pabedi panu mukudzifunsa kuti, "Bwanji ngati?"

Muyenera kudziwa chifukwa chake ubale wanu unatha. Mukuyenera kukhala ndi mtendere wamumtima, ndipo mukuyeneradi kutsekedwa. Kuyesera kudziwa chifukwa chake ubalewo unatha nokha, kukusiyani mukusokoneza ubongo wanu, kubwera ndi mafunso ambiri kuposa mayankho. Kutsekedwa mu ubale kumatha kukuthandizani kuti mugone.

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Kaya munthu atanthauzira bwanji tanthauzo la "kutseka", mfundo yaikulu m'mayankho onsewa ndi yakuti ndikofunikira kuti munthu athe kuthana ndi vuto la kusweka mtima ndikupita patsogolo . Komabe, njira yopezera kutseka si yophweka nthawi zonse. Kodi mungapemphe bwanji munthu wina kuti atseke? Kodi n'zotheka kupempha ndikulandira kutseka kuchokera kwa mnyamata kapena mtsikana?

Kupatula apo, palibe kufotokoza momwe wakale wanu akukonzekera kutha kwa chibwenzicho komanso momwe angayankhire pempho lanu loletsa kukambirana. Inde, izi zimapanga pang'ono 'pakati pa thanthwe ndi malo ovuta', koma izi sizikutanthauza kuti kufunafuna kwanu kutseka ndi chifukwa chotayika.

Ziribe kanthu momwe zimapwetekera, muyenera kuyesa kufikira wanu wakale ndi kukhala ndi ubale kutseka kukambirana. Pali njira zingapo zochitira izi:

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1. Khalani omveka bwino komanso achidule

Mukakhala okonzeka kulankhula nawo kapena kukumana nawo kachiwiri, fikirani kwa wakale wanu ndi kuwauza mosakayikira kuti pamene chibwenzi chatha, muyenera kutseka kuti mupitirize. Ngati kuchita zimenezi pamasom’pamaso n’kofunika kwa inu, afunseni kuti akumaneni pamasom’pamaso.

Kapenanso, ngati palibe wa inu amene ali wokonzeka kutero, mutha kulankhulana pafoni kapena kudzera pa meseji. Adziwitseni chifukwa chake mukulankhula nawo mwamsanga momwe mungathere, popanda kutsindika kwambiri za izo. Awuzeni kuti mukungoganizira momwe mungatsekeredwe mutatha kupatukana, kuti asamakupeweni poganiza kuti mukuyesera kubwezeretsanso chikondi chakufa.

2. Gwiritsani ntchito chilimbikitso chabwino

Momwe mungatsekeredwe mutatha kupatukana: gwiritsani ntchito kulimbitsa bwino — Athokozeni chifukwa cha zikumbutso zabwino zonse komanso zokumana nazo zomwe mudagawana nawo limodzi

Kulankhula ndi munthu wakale mutakhala chete kwa kanthawi kochepa ndikuyamba ndi mawu akuti, “Ndikufuna kutseka, choncho chonde ndilankhuleni”, kungamveke ngati kopanda kukayikira. M'malo mwake, gwiritsani ntchito njira yabwino komanso yolimbikitsa powathokoza chifukwa cha zokumbukira zabwino zonse ndi zokumana nazo zomwe mudagawana limodzi. Mukangosungunuka, sinthani zokambiranazo kuti mukambirane za zomwe, chifukwa chake, komanso momwe mudathetsera chibwenzi chanu kuti muthetse chibwenzi chomwe mukufuna.

Kuthetsa chibwenzi kuyenera kuyandikira mwanzeru, simukufuna kuti wakale wanu adzitsekereze musanapeze mwayi wowafunsa mafunso ofunika.

3. Fufuzani maganizo awo

Mukangolankhula pang’ono ndikugwira zimene nonse mwakhala mukuchita kuyambira pamene munasudzulana, afunseni maganizo awo pa zimene zinalakwika. Aloleni kuti afotokoze mmene amaonera zolakwa zanu, zolakwa zanu, kapena mavuto amene muli nawo pachibwenzi. Ndipo onetsetsani kuti mukumvetsera moleza mtima. M'mayankho awo, mupeza chifukwa chomwe sichinayende bwino pakati panu.

Mutha kuvomereza kapena kusavomereza zifukwa zawo, koma mwina mumadziwa. Ndicho chimene kutseka kumatanthauza. Komanso, inu mudziwa ngati iwo anamva kufunika kutsekedwa mu ubale wanu komanso.

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4. Lolani kuti amange mwakuthupi

Ngati mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzi chanu chifukwa cha kusudzulana kovuta koma mukuopa kuyambitsa nkhaniyo chifukwa choopa kuti ingakupangitseni nonse kukhala osadziwika bwino, lolani kuti zinthu ziyambe kuyenda bwino. Mukamasuka kulankhula ndi wakale wanu kapena kukhala naye m'chipinda chimodzi kachiwiri, funsani kuti mukambirane. Ndipo onani komwe zingakutsogolereni.

Mutu wa kutha kwanu udzabwera mosapeŵeka, ndipo zikatero, mutha kulowa mwachisawawa mafunso omwe muli nawo m'maganizo mwanu kuti mutseke. Musalole kuti ziwoneke ngati kuti kutseka kwasokoneza malingaliro anu, sewerani mopanda chidwi ndi kuwafunsa mafunso omveka bwino monga, "Ndiye mukuganiza kuti chalakwika ndi chiyani?" modekha.

5. Momwe mungatsekeredwe mutatha kutha: chitani nokha

Ngati zinthu sizinali bwino pakati pa inu ndi wakale wanu, kapena sali okonzeka kukhala ndi mtundu uliwonse wokhudzana ndi inu mutatha kupatukana, mungafunike kupita nokha pofunafuna kutseka. M'malo mokhala osagona usiku, ndikudzifunsa kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani adachita zomwe adachita?", "Kodi adandikonda?", "N'chifukwa chiyani sitinathe kuzigwira ntchito?", "Kodi ndinalephera kuti?", Yambani njira yodzifufuza. Mutha kuganizira zosunga zolembera, kuyankhula ndi mnzanu, kapenanso kufunafuna upangiri kuti akuthandizeni kuchita izi.

Nthawi zambiri, timadziwa kale mayankho omwe timafunikira kuti titseke chifukwa chosiyana, koma timachita mantha kwambiri kuti tisawavomereze. Ngakhale zivute zitani, ndi njira yanu yabwino ngati simungathe kufunsa wina kuti akutseke.

Chitani zomwe mungathe, koma ganizirani za kufunika kotseka. Kupatula apo, zinthu zopanda pakezi zingakulepheretseni kufunafuna mizimu yakale. Moyo ndi waufupi kwambiri kuti mulape ndi kuganizira zomwe tataya. Choncho pezani mayankho anu, tsalani bwino ndipo pangani malo mumtima mwanu, moyo wanu ndi maganizo anu. Pitirizani kupita ku zinthu zosangalatsa komanso zolimbikitsa m'moyo wanu ndipo konzekerani kuyambanso chibwenzi.

Ibibazo

1. Kodi ndimapeza bwanji kutsekedwa pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja?

Chinthu choyamba kudziwa momwe mungatsekere mutatha kupatukana ndikumvetsetsa zomwe kutseka kumatanthauza kwa inu. Ndi mtunda? Kodi ndi kukambirana komaliza komwe mungapeze mayankho omwe mukuyang'ana? Dzifunseni nokha mafunso awa, kenako ganizirani momwe mungapezere zomwe mukuyang'ana. Ngati ndi mayankho omwe mukuyang'ana, khalani patsogolo ndi wakale wanu ndikukambirana, ndikufunsani modekha zomwe muyenera kutero, kuti mutseke mukatha kutha.

2. Kodi ndi liti pamene mukuyenera kutsekedwa mukatha kutha?

Ngati "Ndikufuna kutseka" wakhala akukudetsani nkhawa, mukapeza mwamsanga, zidzakhala zabwino kwa inu. Mudzatha kusintha malingaliro anu bwino ndikupita patsogolo bwino mukatero.

3. Kodi kutseka kumatanthauza chiyani pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja?

Kutsekedwa pambuyo pa kusweka kumatanthauza kumvetsetsa ndi kuvomereza zomwe zinachitika, ndi kufika pansi pa chifukwa chake chinachitika, ngati ndi chinthu chomwe chingakuthandizeni kuvomereza ndi kupitilira. Kutseka kungapezeke mosiyana ndi anthu osiyanasiyana. Kwa ena, mayankho ochokera kwa wakale wawo ndi ofunika kwambiri kuposa kuwatsekereza.

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Chifukwa chiyani sindingathe kutseka

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.