Kodi Mungakhale Bwenzi Ndi Ex? Zinthu 15 Zoyenera Kuziganizira

Kodi mutha kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu mutatha kutha? Ngati inde, ndi thanzi? Kodi ndi bwino kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu pamene muli pachibwenzi? Kodi nthawi zambiri mumafunsa mafunso amenewa? Pambuyo pa kutha kwa ubale wodzipereka, kusintha munthu wapadera kuchokera pakatikati pa moyo wanu kupita ku zakale zakutali kungakhale kovuta, ndipo kutenga nthawi ndikofunikira. Chikhumbo chofuna kuyanjananso ndikukhala limodzi ndi nthawi yachibadwa, makamaka mu ubale wautali. Koma masiku ano, kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale kumaoneka ngati kofala. Ngakhale kuti ambiri amayesa kusunga mabwenzi ameneŵa, si onse amene ali enieni kapena okhalitsa. Kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale kungakubweretsereni zovuta pamoyo wanu.

Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti anthu omwe anali akale samakhala osamala kwambiri, osakhulupirika kwenikweni, osaganizira ena, komanso opanda chifundo ngati mabwenzi. Chifukwa chake funso limakhalapobe: Kodi kukhala bwenzi ndi munthu wakale komwe mumamukondabe (kapena ayi) n'koyenera? Kodi ndi chisankho chabwinodi? Tiyeni tifufuze nkhawa iyi mothandizidwa ndi katswiri wathu wa zamaganizo Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri pa CBT, REBT, ndi uphungu wa mabanja. Chifukwa chake, ngati mukudabwa ngati inu ndi munthu wakale wanu mungakhale mabwenzi, kapena momwe mungakhalire mabwenzi ndi munthu wakale, werenganibe…

N'chifukwa Chiyani Kukhala Bwenzi Ndi Ex Wako Ndikovuta?

Kuyamba ubwenzi mutathetsa chibwenzi kungawoneke ngati chisankho chachikulire, koma malingaliro alibe njira yabwino yosinthira. Chikhumbo chokhalabe mabwenzi chingachokere chifukwa cha kusintha kwa malingaliro, koma kulowa mwachangu mu ubwenzi kungakhale kovuta kwambiri, ndipo kutuluka m'malo mwa ubwenzi ndikoipa kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti kutha kwa chibwenzi kuli kofanana, kuthamangira ubwenzi kungakhale kovuta. Ndikofunikira kuzindikira zovuta ndi zovuta zomwe zimapangitsa njira iyi kukhala yovuta kuposa momwe ingawonekere poyamba. Mukamayenda panjira iyi, mutha kusokoneza lingalirolo, kuganiza nthawi zonse - "Sindingakhale bwenzi ndi wakale wanga kapena ndingathe?"

Malinga ndi kafukufuku wina , kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu chifukwa cha kuchita zinthu mwanzeru, ulemu, kapena zilakolako zachikondi zomwe sizinathetsedwe, kunapangitsa kuti ubwenziwo usakhale wokhalitsa kwa nthawi yayitali. Izi ndi umboni wa zovuta zokhalira paubwenzi wabwino ndi wakale wanu. Tiyeni tiwone zifukwa zingapo zomwe zimakhalira zovuta kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu, makamaka mutangotha ​​kusudzulana:

• Simunawakhululukirebe: Zilonda zikadali zatsopano, ndipo kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale yemwe wakukhumudwitsani kumabweretsanso zowawa zonse zomwe mudakumana nazo pachibwenzi.
• Mmodzi wa inu akadali m'chikondi: Aliyense wa inu akadali m'chikondi ndipo amaona ubwenzi ngati zenera mwayi bwererani ndi ex wanu kapena yesetsani kuwagonjetsa pocheza nawo. Kukhala mabwenzi mukamamukondabe wakale wanu sikungakhale kwabwino kwenikweni chifukwa malingaliro anu amatha kutsogozedwa ndi malingaliro osati mwanzeru.
• Mukupitiriza kuwapatsa mphamvu pa inu: Ngakhale kuganiza kuti ex wako akupita kumakupangitsani kuti musamalephere
• Zimakhala zovuta kupitiriza: Ubwenzi umakulepheretsani kupita patsogolo. Choncho, kuganizira mmene mukumvera musanayese kukhala mabwenzi apamtima n’kofunika kwambiri. Apo ayi, mungadzifunse kuti, "Kodi ndingathetse bwanji ex wanga?"
• Palibe chinthu ngati 'abwenzi chabe' pakati panu awiri: Mizereyo nthawi zambiri imasokonekera ndikuwoloka, zomwe zimatsogolera ku mafoni apakati usiku, kugonana, kapena kunena mwachisawawa "Ndimakukondani" zomwe nonse mudzanong'oneza nazo bondo pambuyo pake. Izi ndi zina mwa zoopsa zokhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale zomwe muyenera kuziganizira mosamala

Ngati izi zikumveka ngati zachilendo, ndi bwino kuchokapo. Apo ayi, zikhoza kuwoneka ngati phazi lanu pakhomo ndikukhala pamalo omwe simungathe kubwererana kapena kuwagonjetsa. Izi zimakupatsirani chifukwa chomwe simuyenera kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu. Izi mwina ndichifukwa chake, "Osacheza ndi wakale wanu" ndilo lingaliro lofala kwambiri.

Zinthu 15 Zoyenera Kuziganizira Zokhudza Kukhala Bwenzi Ndi Ex

Kodi mungakhale paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu? Chabwino, zimatengera. Kuchokera pazovuta za kukonzekera m'malingaliro mpaka kufunikira kokhazikitsa malire omveka bwino, mbali iliyonse imakhala ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri popanga kupambana kapena zovuta zomwe zingatheke posunga ubwenzi pambuyo pa kutha. Ndi zachilendo ngati sungakhale paubwenzi ndi wakale wako chifukwa ndikhulupirireni, pamafunika zambiri, makamaka kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale yemwe umamukondabe.

Nandita akuti, “Pamene anthu awiri alekana, ndikofunikira kuti adzipatse nthawi yochira ndikupitiriza moyo wawo, m'malo mongosangalala ndikukhala limodzi.” M'buku lake lakuti Getting Past Your Breakup , wolemba Susan J. Elliot akulangiza kuti mudikire miyezi isanu ndi umodzi musanayankhe foni kuti mudziwe ngati mungakhale bwenzi la wakale wanu kapena ayi.

Pamene mukuyang'ana mfundo izi, mudzazindikira zovuta zogwirizanitsa mbiri ndi kufunika kwa malire atsopano. Chilakolako chokhala ndi chitetezo chamaganizo chingakhale chovuta pamene mukusunga thanzi lanu la maganizo pamene mukuganiza zoyenda munjira yovuta ya ubwenzi ndi wakale. Kaya mukuganiza za njira iyi koyamba kapena kuwunikanso ubwenzi womwe ulipo kale, malingaliro awa cholinga chake ndi kupereka malangizo othandiza. Izi zikuthandizani kusankha kaya kukhala bwenzi ndi wakale wanu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 15 zanzeru zokanira wakale yemwe akufuna kukhala bwenzi

1. Mumafunika nthawi ndi malo kuti muthetse vutoli

Kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale yemwe umamukondabe kumangokulepheretsani ngati kutha kwatsopano. Kutha kwa chibwenzi kumatha kukhala kovutirapo, makamaka ngati wakale wanu ndi amene adakuyitanani kuti musiyane. Mungafunike kuthandizidwa ndi maganizo pamene mumakondabe wakale wanu ndipo mukuyesera kuti mupitirizebe. M’malingaliro otere, kodi mukuganiza kuti kukhala nawo limodzi ndi kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu kungakuthandizeni kuchira?

Ganizirani zotsatirapo zake pamene mukusinkhasinkha za kuthekera kokhala mabwenzi mukamamukondabe wakale wanu. Nandita anati: “Ndi bwino kutenga nthawi ndi nthawi n’kuyamba kugwirizana musanakumane ndi vuto linalake.” Mwinanso ichi ndi chifukwa chake limodzi mwamalangizo odziwika kwambiri pambuyo pa kutha ndi lakuti, “Osacheza ndi wakale wanu.”

2. Ikhoza kutsitsimutsanso ubwenzi womwe munganong'oneze nawo bondo

Kodi kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale kungayambitsenso chibwenzi? Chabwino, zingatheke, makamaka pamene mumamukondabe wakale wanu. Kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale yemwe mumamukondabe ndi njira yotsimikizika yoti mudzadzuke pakama wawo m'mawa wina. Nthawi zambiri mumauzidwa kuti musamayanjane ndi wakale wanu. Riley, mphunzitsi wovina yemwe amakhala ku St. Louis, anakumana ndi vuto losiyana kwambiri ndi wokondedwa wake wapasukulu ya sekondale pamene ankavutikanso ndi vuto la mayi yemwe anali kudwala mwakayakaya kunyumba kwawo. Ankaona ngati akufunikira nangula, ndipo wakale wake, yemwe nthawi zonse ankakhala wokoma mtima komanso wosamala, ankaoneka ngati womuthandiza.

Analola kuti chikondi chawo chikhale pakati pa njira imeneyi yopita ku ubale wabwino wa platonic . Chimene chinayamba ngati ubwenzi wa platonic posakhalitsa chinasanduka chisokonezo chachikulu cha malingaliro osathetsedwa. Anayamba kugona limodzi nthawi iliyonse yomwe adapeza mwayi ndipo anaiwala kukhazikitsa malire, zomwe zinapangitsa kuti wakaleyo akhulupirire kuti anali wokonzeka kubwererana komanso zinapangitsanso Riley kusokonezeka kwambiri ndi momwe akumvera.

Iwo anayesa kupereka mpata wina wokondana wina ndi mnzake, kuti amve zowawa ndi zowawa za chisudzulo. Pokhapokha, zinali zowawa komanso zowawa kwambiri. Ngati mukudabwa momwe mungakhalire bwenzi ndi wakale, iyi si njira yopitira. Sitikunena kuti izi ndizotheka kokha, koma ndizomwe zimachitika nthawi zambiri mukakhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale yemwe mumamukondabe. Ndikufuna kuti muganizire za mavuto omwe angakhalepo musanalowe muubwenzi. Kukhala ndi ubwenzi wabwino kumafuna khama ndiponso kukhwima maganizo, monganso kukhala ndi ubwenzi wabwino uliwonse.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Ndiyenera Kuyimbira Wakale Wanga — Malangizo 12 Oti Musankhe

3. Zibwenzi zanu zina zitha kusokonekera

Kodi ndi bwino kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu pamene muli pachibwenzi? Kodi mutha kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu osalola kuti zikhudze ubale wanu wapano? Kuganizira zomwe zingakhudze maubwenzi amakono kapena amtsogolo ndikofunikira poyankha funso lovutitsa, "Kodi ndi bwino kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale?" Mofanana ndi mmene zimakhalira ndi zibwenzi, kukhalabe ndi ubwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale kungatengere nthawi ndi chidwi ndi maubwenzi ena, kuphatikizapo anzako ndi achibale. Ngati anzanu kapena achibale anu akuwona kuti akunyalanyazidwa kapena kusokonezedwa ndi ubale wanu ndi wakale wanu, zitha kusokoneza maubwenzi amenewo.

Ichi mwina chingakhale chifukwa china chomwe chimanenedwa kuti akale sangakhale mabwenzi. Nandita akuti, "Kudziwa momwe kusinthaku kungakhudzire kudalirana ndi thanzi la aliyense wokhudzidwa kumatsimikizira maziko abwino a ubale wapano ndi wamtsogolo. Ndikofunikira kuyika patsogolo ubale wapano ndi wamtsogolo popanda kuyika pachiwopsezo umphumphu wawo mwa kukhalabe mu ubale wakale." Maubwenzi a Plato vs maubwenzi achikondi - sankhani mwanzeru.

4. Kuchita nsanje kungawononge ubwenzi wanu m’kupita kwa nthaŵi

Kodi akale angakhale mabwenzi opanda malingaliro? Iwo ndithudi angathe, pamene fumbi likakhazikika, mmodzi wa inu adzayesa kusuntha ndikuyamba chibwenzi ndi munthu watsopano. Koma yankho losavuta la momwe mungakhalire paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale ndikuti muyenera kuchotsa nsanje. Ngati mwalowa pachibwenzi kapena mwangoyamba kumene chibwenzi, wakale wanu sangakhale womasuka ndi kusintha kwa zinthu, ndipo izi zitha kubwera moyipa.

Ndikofunika kulemekezana pa chisankho chokhala ndi zibwenzi zatsopano. Kumbali ina, ngati wakale wanuyo ndiye woyamba kusuntha, mungasiyidwe mukumva kuti munasiyidwa ndi kupwetekedwa mtima. Maganizo amenewa amakhala malire mukakhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu. Ndizachilengedwe, ndipo zitha kukupangitsani kuti musamakhulupirire kuti omwe kale anali kale sangakhale mabwenzi. 

Mfundo imeneyi ndi yofunika kuiganizira chifukwa kuopsa kokhala paubwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale n’kwambiri ndipo kungaphatikizepo nsanje ndi mkwiyo. Izi sizingakhale zowononga ubwenzi wanu ndi wakale wanu komanso ubale wanu watsopano. Kodi mwakonzekera kutheka kwa zotulukapo zowopsa zotere?

5. Mwina simungathe kukhala owona mtima kotheratu kwa wina ndi mzake

Tangoganizirani ngati mukuvutika maganizo chifukwa cha kusudzulana kwanu. Mnzanu wakale, yemwe tsopano ndi mnzanu, amakufunsani zomwe zikukuvutitsani. Simungathe kukhala woona mtima kwa iye popanda kuwononga chikondi chomwe mwakhala mukukumana nacho kachiwiri. Kapena ngati muli ndi chibwenzi ndi munthu watsopano, simungathe kumufotokozera zakukhosi kwanu wakale chifukwa kwinakwake komwe mukudziwa mungamupweteke maganizo.

Kukhala mabwenzi pambuyo kutha basi kulenga mphindi zovuta kuti inu nonse mukufuna kupewa, kukusiyani inu ndi ubwenzi kuti si mwakhama kapena moona mtima. Kukupulumutsani ku chisakanizo cha maganizo, izo nthawizonse analangiza kuti musakhale mabwenzi ndi wakale wanu mpaka inu moona anasamukira.  

Nandita anati: “Ubwenzi umamangidwa pamaziko a kuona mtima. 

6. Ubwenzi ukhoza kuyambitsa ziyembekezo zabodza

Kodi akale angakhale mabwenzi opanda malingaliro? Inde, koma ngakhale mutangoganizira zokhala ndi mabwenzi pambuyo pa kutha, pali kuthekera kuti angayang'ane zinthu mosiyana. Kapena mosemphanitsa. Nanga bwanji ngati m'modzi wa inu akadali ndi chiyembekezo kuti mwina ubale wa platonic udzayambitsanso kuyambika kwakale? 

Inu (kapena wakale wanu) mungaike moyo wanu pachiwopsezo, mukusunga chiyembekezo chakuti wakale wanu angakukondweretseninso ndikukuletsani kukhala ndi mnzanu watsopano. Mwina mukudzifunsa kuti, “Kodi ndidzakhalanso pachibwenzi ndi wakale wanga?” Zinthu zikapanda kuyenda bwino monga momwe inu kapena munthu winayo mumayembekezera, zingayambitse kupweteka kwakukulu ndi mkwiyo. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunika kuziganizira. Chifukwa chake, mukuwona, yankho lakuti, “Kodi mungakhale bwenzi ndi wakale wanu?”, likufunika kuganiziridwa mosamala.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Amuna ndi Akazi Angakhale Mabwenzi?

7. Ubwenzi wotero ungasokoneze mtendere wanu wamaganizo

Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe mungaganizire kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale ndi chakuti simunasunthebe. Ndiye, kodi mutha kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu ngati mukumva buluu nthawi zambiri poganizira zakale? Eya, ngati mmodzi wa inu adakali ndi malingaliro okhalitsa kaamba ka mnzake, monga momwe zimakhalira m’mabanja ambiri otha, ubwenzi ukhoza kukhala chinthu chosokonekera chimene chingakuwonongereni mtendere wamaganizo.

Kukhala bwenzi ndi wakale wanu kudzakuthandizani kukumbukira nthawi zonse za ubale wanu ndi zokumbukira za nthawi yomwe munali limodzi, zomwe zingakupangitseni kukhala omasuka m'mbuyomu. Zingakulepheretseni kuchita chibwenzi ndi munthu watsopano. Musanadziwe momwe mungakhalire bwenzi ndi wakale wanu, muyenera kuonetsetsa kuti simukuvutika kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu amene munali naye pachibwenzi ndipo mwakonzeka kukhala bwenzi lanu.

8. Kodi mudzatha kuwakhulupiriranso?

Ngakhale mnzanu wakale atakhala bwenzi lanu la '4 koloko m'mawa' kapena amene mumamupempha thandizo ndi chitonthozo zinthu zikavuta, mfundo yaikulu ya kudalirana ndi kuwona mtima sidzapezeka muubwenzi wotere. Makamaka ngati mwayamba chibwenzi ndi munthu wina. Nonse awiri mwakumanapo kale ndi mavuto ambiri ndipo mwina muli ndi mavuto okhudzana ndi kudalirana. Popanda kuthetsa mavuto amenewo, kukhala bwenzi la wakale wanu kungakhale kovuta.

Ngakhale mutathetsa nkhanizo komanso mutakhazikitsa malire, zingakhale zovuta kwambiri kukhulupirira mnzanu amene mumayanjana naye chifukwa chophwanya ubale. Nandita anati: “Chifukwa chakuti kupwetekedwa mtima ndi chisoni chimene chimabwera chifukwa cha chisudzulocho chingakuvutitseni mumtima ngakhale mutapanda kuvomereza kuti muli ndi maganizo amenewa. Ndipo ngati mukudzifunsa kuti, “Kodi ndingathetse bwanji mwamuna wanga wakale?” Chabwino, mwina kukhala mabwenzi sikwabwino.

9. Mutha kupangitsa zinthu kukhala zovuta kwa anzanu apamtima

Anzanu anthawi yayitali awa adakuwonani muli limodzi ngati banja ndipo adawona ubale wanu wachikondi ukudutsa m'mipikisano yake isanagwe pansi. Ngati muli ndi chidani pakati pa inu nonse, ngakhale mwaganiza zokhala mabwenzi, zitha kuwonekera polimbana ndi wina ndi mnzake, ndipo izi zitha kukhala zovuta kuti anzanu ena athane nawo. Ngati muyesa kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale yemwe mumamukondabe ndipo ngati ubwenzi umenewu ukukhudzanso maubwenzi anu ndi maubwenzi ena, zimatsimikizira kuti pali lingaliro lina la mawu akuti "exes kuwononga maubwenzi." 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kusankha Pakati pa Ubwenzi ndi Ubale | Ndi Chiyani Chomwe Mungasankhe?

10. Zitha kusokoneza mwayi wopeza chikondi chenicheni

Ubwenzi ndi mnzanu wakale ungasokoneze chiweruzo chanu chokhudza chibwenzi ndi munthu wina, ndipo mungadzipeze muli mumkhalidwe wovuta wopita ku chibwenzi, koma osapita patsogolo muubwenzi watsopano . Izi zili choncho chifukwa kukhalapo kwa mnzanu wakale m'moyo wanu kudzakulepheretsani kupitirizabe kukhala ndi moyo wabwino. Nthawi zina mungadzifunse kuti, “Ndimakonda wakale wanga” kapena kudzifunsa kuti, “Kodi ndidzakhalanso pachibwenzi ndi wakale wanga?” Ngati zili choncho, kukana kukhala bwenzi ndi wakale kungakhale lingaliro labwino. Muyenera kukhala ndi maganizo ofanana ngati pali mwayi woti ubwenzi ukhalepo.

Kodi mukufunadi kudziyika nokha mu zimenezo? Ngati inu kutumizirana mameseji iwo pamene pa tsiku kapena kubwerera ndi kukambirana chilichonse mwatsatanetsatane tsiku ndi iwo kufunafuna chivomerezo chawo, mukhoza munakhala mu malo oipa muyenera kusiya. Ndipo ngati mumadzifunsabe kuti, "Kodi ndingathetse bwanji chibwenzi changa?" Chabwino, kukhala paubwenzi ndi iwo sikungakhale lingaliro labwino.

11. Ubwenzi sungathe kuchepetsa ululu wa kutha kwa banja

Nthawi zambiri anthu amachoka pa chibwenzi n’kukhala mabwenzi chifukwa satha kuthana ndi chisoni cha kutayika. Zingatenge miyezi, kapena zaka, kuti apitirire patsogolo. Malinga ndi kafukufuku wina , zimatenga miyezi 11 kuti athetse kusweka mtima. Chifukwa chake, ngati mukupanga ubwenzi ndi wakale kuti muchepetse ululu wa kusweka mtima , mukuchita zonse molakwika. Ngati mukudabwa chifukwa chake simuyenera kukhala bwenzi ndi wakale wanu, ganizirani zonse ziwiri musanayambe ubwenzi.

Kutha sikophweka konse. Muyenera kudutsa pakati pa zowawa za mtima, zopweteka zomwe zimakupangitsani kugona usiku ndikukupangitsani kulira maso anu. Muyenera kudzikonzekeretsa nokha ndi mphepo yamkuntho yamphamvu kwambiri yomwe muyenera kupulumuka nokha. Ngati mukufuna phewa kuti mulilire, ndi bwino kutembenukira kwa anzanu ena m'malo mopita kwa munthu amene ali chifukwa cha ululu wanu. Kukhala bwenzi ndi wakale wanu si ntchito yapafupi. Kumbukirani, machiritso anu ndi udindo wanu poyamba. Palibe abwenzi anu omwe angakuthandizeni ngati mukufuna kuchita nokha.

12. Ubwenzi wanu ukhoza kukulepheretsani kuika patsogolo mnzanu amene muli naye panopa

Sizichitika kawirikawiri kupeza munthu yemwe angakhale bwino ndi lingaliro lakuti bwenzi lake limakhala paubwenzi ndi wakale. Dziike nokha mu nsapato zawo ndipo ganizirani za izo pang'ono: kodi mungafune wakale wa mnzanu pa chikondwerero chilichonse kubadwa kapena phwando kunyumba? Kodi mungakhale bwino ndi iwo kutumizirana mameseji wakale wawo atakhala pafupi nanu? Kapena kukambirana tsatanetsatane wa ubale wanu ndi iwo? Tsopano dzifunseni nokha, "Kodi akale amakhala mabwenzi?"

Magawo a ubale watsopano amaphatikizapo gawo lofunsa mafunso pomwe onse awiri amayamba kukayikira chisankho chawo pamene akuyamba kuyang'ana magalasi ofiirira pambuyo pa nthawi ya ukwati. Ngati ubwenzi wanu ndi wakale umapangitsa mnzanu wanu wapano kukhala wosasangalala komanso wodandaula, muyenera kulemekeza malingaliro awo pankhaniyi ndikuganizira zomwe zili zofunika kwambiri. Ubwenzi wanu wakale kapena wanu wapano? Sindikuganiza kuti pali chifukwa chilichonse chowonongera ubale watsopano ndi womwe unatha kalekale, koma ndi ine ndekha. Ndipotu, simukufuna kudzuka tsiku limodzi labwino ndikudziuza nokha kuti, "Ndimakonda mnzanga, koma ndimakondanso mnzanga wakale ..."

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Ubwenzi Wosayenera Mukakwatirana - Izi ndi Zimene Muyenera Kudziwa

13. Ndithu, mmodzi wa inu adzavulazidwa

Musasiye chitseko chotseguka chifukwa cha kukhumudwa. Ngati mukuyang'anabe pa Google kuti, “Ndingathetse bwanji chibwenzi changa chakale?”, kukhala naye paubwenzi sikungakhale lingaliro labwino. Ubwenzi pakati pa akale ukhoza kupangitsa kuti mmodzi kapena nonsenu mukhale ndi ululu komanso kupwetekedwa mtima, zomwe zimakhala zoyipa kwambiri kuposa zomwe kutha kwa chibwenzi kunabweretsa. Izi ndi zoona makamaka ngati pali malingaliro osathetsedwa ndipo nonsenu mwakhala nthawi yayitali osachita chibwenzi ndi wina. Kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale yemwe anakukhumudwitsani nthawi zonse kumakhala kopweteka ngati muli mu njira yochira kutha kwa chibwenzi chanu . “Samalani kwambiri chifukwa chenicheni chomwe chimakupangitsani kuganiza zokhala mabwenzi chifukwa ngati zibwera ndi mtengo wokwera kwambiri,” akuchenjeza Nandita.

Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit akulemba kuti, “Ndakhala bwenzi ndi wakale wanga titasiyana kuyambira miyezi 6 tsopano. Tonse takhala osakwatira, ndinkayamba kuganiza kuti “Ndimamukonda kwambiri” ndipo tikhoza kukhala “mabwenzi chabe” koma lero wandiuza za mwamuna amene ankakonda kukopana naye ndipo zinandipsetsa mtima, mwina ndili ndi malingaliro ake pa iye koma iye sali nawo, kapena amangofuna kundipangitsa nsanje? SINDIKUDZIWA, kaya ndi choncho, ndamva kupweteka ndipo sindinkayembekezera kuti ndivulazidwe chonchi.”

14. Kukhala ndi ubwenzi wabwino sikuthekanso

Kufufuza maubwenzi atsopano ndikukumana ndi anthu atsopano ndi chizolowezi chachibadwa pofunafuna ubwenzi. M'malo molowa mu ubwenzi ndi wakale, ndikofunikira kuwunika mwanzeru zomwe mungasankhe. M'malo mopeza momwe mungakhalirebe bwenzi ndi wakale wanu, kungakhale bwino kusiya ndi kufufuza. Kulimbitsa maubwenzi omwe alipo mwa kukhala ndi anzanu kapena ogwira nawo ntchito kuofesi kungapereke maziko okhazikika komanso anzeru a maubwenzi atsopano. Kufikira maubwenzi a platonic ndi malingaliro atsopano kumalola kumveka bwino kwa malingaliro ndikupewa mavuto omwe angabwere chifukwa chokhala paubwenzi wapamtima ndi munthu wochokera m'mbuyomu mwachikondi.

15. Kumbukirani chifukwa chimene munalekana

Kaya nonse munalekana chifukwa cha mfundo ndi zikhulupiriro zosiyana, nkhani zokhulupirirana, kapena zinasanduka ubale woopsa , mfundo ndi yakuti ubalewo sunakhalitse ndipo ndi umboni wa kusagwirizana kwanu komanso mavuto omwe alipo. Kumbukirani izi mukamanena nokha kuti, "Ndimakonda wakale wanga" pambuyo pake. Chilakolako chanu chokhala bwenzi ndi munthu amene muli ndi mavuto osathetsedwa sichili bwino ndipo chingasinthe msanga. Muyenera kukhazikitsa malire. Sindinganene momveka bwino kuti, "Musakhale bwenzi ndi wakale wanu." Koma ndikufuna kuyang'ananso zomwe zimayambitsa ubalewu. Mwina zifukwa zomwezo zingakhudzenso ubwenziwo.

Ndiye, kodi ndi bwino kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu? Ine ndikulola iwe kukhala woweruza wa izo. Ndayesera kukulitsa kuyang'ana kwanu kuzinthu zomwe muyenera kuziganizira musanagonjetse chikhumbo chofuna kugwirizana ndi wakale wanu. Maganizo a anthu ndi ovuta kwambiri ndipo palibe yankho lofanana ndi funso loti muyenera kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanu kapena ayi.

Kumbukirani, machiritso si njira yokhayo. Tsiku lina munganene kuti “Sindingathe kukhala paubwenzi ndi wakale wanga” ndipo tsiku lina mungafunse kuti “Kodi ndi bwino kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wakale”? Zomwe ndikukulangizani ndikuti muganizire mozama mfundo zomwe takambirana m'nkhaniyi ndikupanga chisankho chomveka komanso chomveka chomwe chidzapindulitse malingaliro anu m'kupita kwanthawi.

Ibibazo

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N’chifukwa chiyani zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kusiya, ngakhale munthuyo sakukondani?

Zinthu 12 Zoyenera Kukumbukira Mukakumana ndi Ex Wanu

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.