Kodi posakhalitsa titha kusamukira limodzi? Ili ndi funso lomwe maanja ambiri amafunsa akamaseweretsa malingaliro osamukira limodzi. Kusamukira ndi sitepe yaikulu mu ubale koma inu muyenera kukhala ena chitonthozo mlingo wina ndi mzake kutenga sitepe. Koma kusankha nthawi yosamuka ndi chinthu chomwe nthawi zambiri chimabweretsa vuto.
Pali chithumwa china chokhala ndi nthawi yotsuka mbale pamodzi madzulo, kenako kuphika chakudya chokoma, kenako mumapita kokagona ndi kukumbatirana kwinaku mukuwonera gawo la The Office. Chisangalalo chobwera ndi lingaliro la kuwira kwachikondi kotereku kungakupangitseni kuiwala kuyenda nokha ndipo m'malo mwake kulumpha mfuti ndikulowera limodzi.
Funso loti 'kosachedwa bwanji kuti tisonkhane pamodzi?' sichizungulira ngakhale malingaliro anu. Koma zinthu zikayamba kusokonekera ndipo kuchapa mbale kumasiya kukondana, mungazindikire kuti kunali kuitana kolakwika.
M’pomveka kutero! Ndipotu, kukhala pamodzi kungakhale sitepe lalikulu kwa banja lililonse. Mmodzi amene angakankhireni malire ndikuyesa ubale wanu m'njira zomwe simunaganizire. Kuti muwonetsetse kuti mwatenga sitepeyi panthawi yoyenera komanso pazifukwa zoyenerera, timathana ndi nkhawa zomwe anthu amakhala nazo akaganiza zosamukira kukakhala ndi anzawo.
Ndipo kuti tichite izi, timapita kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi waukwati Prachi Vaish, katswiri wa zamaganizo wachipatala yemwe ali ndi chilolezo ndi Rehabilitation Council of India, komanso membala wothandizira wa American Psychological Association, kuti adziwe momwe angagwiritsire ntchito njira yosamukira pamodzi ndi amene mumakonda njira yoyenera.
Kodi Muyenera Kudikira Nthawi Yaitali Bwanji Musanasamukire Limodzi?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kufikira m’ma 1960, kukhala pamodzi tisanakwatirane kunali koipidwa ndipo kumawonedwa kukhala kosaloleka ngakhale m’maiko amakono a Kumadzulo. N’zoonekeratu kuti tangochoka patali kwambiri. Kafukufuku wokhudza kukhalira pamodzi asanakwatirane wapeza kuti zochitika za okwatirana kukhala pamodzi musanakwatirane chakula ndi 900% pazaka 50 zapitazi.
Awiri mwa atatu aliwonse amakhalira limodzi asanaganize zomanga fundo. Izi zikutifikitsa ku funso lofunika kwambiri la nthawi. Kodi muyenera kudikira nthawi yayitali bwanji musanasamukire limodzi? Ndipo kodi kusamuka msanga kungawononge ubwenzi? Ndipo posachedwera bwanji kusamukira limodzi?
Tsopano, palibe nthawi yotsimikizika yoti maanja azisamukira limodzi. Komabe, maphunziro ndi kafukufuku zimatipatsa zambiri zomwe mungagwiritse ntchito ngati mfundo.
Malinga ndi kufufuza zochitidwa ndi Stanford University, nayi nthawi yomwe mabanja osiyanasiyana amatenga kuti azikhala limodzi:
- 25% ya maanja amalingalira zosamukira limodzi pakatha miyezi inayi
- 50% t ya maanja amasankha zosamukira limodzi pakatha chaka chimodzi
- Ndi mabanja 30 pa 2 alionse amene amasiya kukhalira limodzi mpaka patatha zaka ziwiri
- Ochepera 10% amalingalira zosamukira limodzi pakatha zaka zinayi
Monga mwa wina kafukufuku, awa ndi nthawi zovomerezeka zosamukira limodzi:
- 30% amaganiza zosamukira pamodzi pambuyo pa miyezi 6
- 40% amaganizira zosamukira limodzi pakatha miyezi 6 komanso pofika chaka chimodzi
- Pafupifupi 20% amasamukira pamodzi pakati pa zaka 1-2
- Osakwana 10% amasiya kusamukira limodzi kupitilira zaka ziwiri
Ngati mutsatira ziwerengerozi kuti musankhe nthawi yomwe muyenera kuyembekezera kusuntha limodzi, chodziwikiratu chotengera ndi chakuti pafupifupi 50% ya maanja omwe ali pachibwenzi amasamukira limodzi m'chaka choyamba. Kusamukira pamodzi pakatha miyezi 6 kwakhala nthawi yovomerezeka ngakhale ambiri amasankha kutero pakapita nthawi.
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Kodi kusamukira pamodzi ndi sitepe yaikulu?
Kodi kusamukira pamodzi ndi sitepe yaikulu? Motsimikizirika, inde! Kaya ndi rodeo yanu yoyamba kapena mudachitapo kale, kusankha kugawana malo okhala ndi mnzanu nthawi zonse kumakhala kovuta. Kupatula apo, chisankhochi chimaphatikizapo zambiri kuposa kugawana malo ogona ndi bedi lomwelo.
Ngati mutenga upangiri wathu wokhalira limodzi, tiyeni tikuuzeni kuti kukhalira limodzi kumabwera ndi chiyembekezo chachibadwa cha kudzipereka kwakukulu muubwenzi. Zimabwera ndi kuthekera kwa ukwati mtsogolo. Kupatula apo, kukhala limodzi kumachotsa zinthu zonyezimira paubwenzi wanu ndikukankhirani sitepe pafupi ndi moyo wamba wogawana nawo moyo.
Kuchokera pazokambirana zandalama ndi zisankho kuzinthu zenizeni zoyendetsera nyumba, pali zambiri zomwe sizili zachikondi zomwe ziyenera kufotokozedwa pano. Adzalipira ndani mabilu? Ndani angakonze chimbudzi chotsekeka? Ndi nthawi yandani yochotsa zinyalala? Ndani amaphika chakudya chamadzulo?
Ichi ndichifukwa chake nkhawa zonga ngati kusamukira posachedwa kuwononga ubale kapena kusamukira pamodzi kupha ubale sizopanda maziko.
Kukhalira limodzi kungayese ngakhale maubwenzi olimba kwambiri. Kukakhala ndi chibwenzi chanu posachedwa kungayambitse mavuto. Simuyeneranso kuganizira za kuchuluka kwa maanja omwe amasiyana akasamukira limodzi? Statistics amanena kuti 39% ya maanja omwe amasamukira limodzi amatha kutha, ndipo 40% okha ndi omwe amakwatirana.
Ndipo 21% akhoza kungosankha kupitiriza kukhala pamodzi popanda kumverera kufunikira kovomerezeka mwaukwati wawo. Zovuta zopulumuka ndikusamukira limodzi zitha kukusanjikizani ngati mutachita mwachidwi ndikuchita izi posachedwa.
Kodi muyenera kukhala pachibwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali bwanji musanasamukire limodzi? Kodi posakhalitsa titha kusamukira limodzi? Chabwino! Monga momwe mwadziwira pofika pano, muyenera kukhala pachibwenzi kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi musanaganize zosuntha.
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Kodi kusamukira limodzi kumawononga ubale?
Ndiye, pali funso loti kusuntha pamodzi kumapha ubale. Kuti muthetse vutoli muyenera kuganizira mfundo yakuti kusamukira pamodzi kumatanthauza kugwirizanitsa moyo wanu, nthawi zina mosasinthika. Anthu awiri akamagawana malo okhala, amagawana ndalama zanyumba, katundu, ziweto, ndi zina zambiri.
Zikatero, ngati zinthu sizikuyenda bwino pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu, kupatukana kumatha kukhala vuto lalikulu. Makamaka chifukwa kukhalira limodzi sikumabwera ndi chitetezo chalamulo. Mosiyana ndi ukwati, kumene kugawikana kwa katundu ndi ngongole zimasamalidwa pothetsa chisudzulo, apa mwatsala pang'ono kudzisamalira nokha.
Zikatero, kukhala ndi a mgwirizano wa cohabitation Kukhoza kupangitsa kusiyana kwa maubwenzi omwe mumakhala nawo kukhala osasokoneza ndipo wina akhoza kusangalala ndi ubwino wokhala pamodzi. Mkhalidwe ukhoza kukhala woipa kwambiri ngati pali ana okhudzidwa. Momwemo, maanja ambiri akupitirizabe kukhala paubwenzi wosasangalala chifukwa njira yolekana imakhala yochuluka kwambiri.
Mukaganizira zochenjeza izi, inde, kusuntha pamodzi kumatha kupha ubale popanda kuuthetsa. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kulumbirira malingaliro okhalira limodzi ndi mnzanu wapamtima. Ambiri okwatirana amachita izo, ndipo bwinobwino. Palibe chifukwa chomwe simungathe. Koma kukhala ndi bwenzi lanu posachedwa kungakupangitseni njira ina.
Langizo lokhalo losunthira limodzi lomwe muyenera kuliganizira kuti muchepetse zoopsazi ndikuti musapange chisankhochi mopepuka. Chinsinsi chokhalira limodzi bwino ndikuchita ngati onse awiri awonetsa kudzipereka kwa wina ndi mnzake komanso ubale wawo.
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Kodi Mumadziwa Bwanji Pamene Mwakonzeka Kusamukira Ndi Winawake?
Prachi ikuyang'ana momwe mungadziwire ngati mwakonzeka kukakhala ndi munthu. Malinga ndi iye, kusamukira ndi munthu kungakhale chinthu chofunikira kwambiri ndipo malingaliro ambiri ayenera kupita pachisankho. Nazi mfundo zina zofunika kuziganizira:
1. Kodi posakhalitsa posakhalitsa tidzakhala limodzi? Kukhazikitsa mulingo wotonthoza ndikofunikira
"Kodi mumakhala omasuka bwanji m'malo a wina ndi mzake? Ndi chinthu chimodzi chokhalira pamodzi pamene mukusankha mosamala zomwe mudzavala ndi zomwe mudzachite. Koma mgwirizano uwu umakhala 24 × 7, zinthu sizili zophweka. Mudzafuna kuti mukhale ndi PJs tsiku lonse osapereka tsitsi, "akutero Prachi.
Kapena siyani zovala zanu zamkati zolimba zili pamenepo. Ndipo mudaganizirapo za phokoso la chimbudzi ndi kukodza lomwe mumawongolera mosamala mozungulira? Kotero inde, onetsetsani kuti ndinu omasuka kwambiri m'malo a wina ndi mzake musanadumphire kumapeto ndikubwereka malo pamodzi.
2. Kodi muyenera kusamukira limodzi liti? Mukangokhazikitsa malamulo oyambira
Prachi akuti malamulo oyambira ndi ofunikira mukamayenda limodzi ndi munthu kuti akwaniritse zomwe akuyembekezera. “Kodi mukukhala ndi malamulo otani paubwenzi wanu? chibwenzi cha ukwati. Ngati mukupita kukakhala limodzi kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yambiri yocheza, ndiye kuti mufunika kuganizira kuchuluka kwa zinthu zimene mumapereka kwa wina ndi mnzake komanso ngati zimenezo n’zoyenera kuchita m’kupita kwa nthawi?”
Komanso, ganizirani momwe mungasamalire malo anu mukakhala pansi pa denga lomwelo. Khazikitsani kumvetsetsa ndikuwunika lingaliro labwino la zosowa za wina ndi mnzake.
Seth Neiwadomski, dotolo wamano adakhala ndi chibwenzi chake Stella patatha chaka chimodzi ali pachibwenzi. Awiriwo adanena momveka bwino kuti akufuna kukwatirana tsiku lina ndipo akukhala pamodzi kuti atsimikizire kuti chinali chisankho chabwino pamapeto pake. Patatha miyezi 6, Seth anagula mphete ndipo tsopano akhala m’banja mosangalala kwa zaka ziwiri.
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3.Ganizirani zambiri za zotsatira za kupanga chisankho chotero
Prachi akuwonetsa kuti mumadzifunse mafunso angapo musanadumphe. Iye akuti, "Cholinga chake ndi chiyani? Kodi mukuwona izi ngati mayesero kuti muwone ngati mungatengere ubale wanu pamlingo wina? Kapena mukungotenga ngati sitepe yotsatira yachibadwa pakusintha kwa ubale wanu? Ndipo mukungokonzekera kusangalala ndi izi popanda zolinga zolakwika? Kapena mukungofuna wina woti muzichita naye maphwando apanyumba?"
Awa ndi ena mafunso oti mudziganizire nokha komanso mafunso oti mufunse okondedwa anu musanasamukire limodzi. Chitonthozochi sichingakwaniritsidwe ngati mukukonzekera kusamukira limodzi pambuyo pa miyezi 6 yokhala pachibwenzi. Zikatero, mutha kutenga nthawi yayitali ndikuyika mabokosi mu a kusunthira-pamodzi-pamodzi asanatenge chigamulo chomaliza.
Kodi Posachedwapa Nditani Kuti Tisamukire Limodzi? Zizindikiro 10 Zomwe Mwakonzeka Kulowa
Kutengera izi zomwe muyenera kuziganizira mukafuna kukakhala ndi mnzanu, nawu mndandanda wazizindikiro 10 zosonyeza kuti mwakonzeka kudumphadumpha. Pitani kuzizindikiro ndipo mudzadziwa kuti posachedwa kwambiri kuti mulowe limodzi.
1. Mwadutsa gawo la honeymoon
Kodi muyenera kudikira nthawi yayitali bwanji musanasamukire limodzi? Osachepera, mpaka gawo laukwati ubale wanu watha. Mukudziwa kuti siteji ya oxytocin-powered ya ubale momwe mumawonera chilichonse ndi maso owoneka bwino. Kugonana ndikwabwino, simungathe kuletsana wina ndi mnzake.
Simungawoneke kuti mukupeza zolakwika mwa okondedwa anu ndipo nonse mudakali ndi khalidwe labwino kwambiri pakati panu. Pokhapokha mutadutsa gawo ili muubwenzi wanu ndipo mwaphunzira kukondana ndi kuvomerezana wina ndi mzake ndi zofooka zanu zonse ndi zolakwika zomwe mungathe kugawana malo okhala kwa nthawi yayitali bwino.
2. Kodi muyenera kusamukira limodzi liti? Pamene muli pa ubwenzi wodzipereka
Ngati mukulimbana ndi kukayikira kuti kusuntha kungawononge ubale wanu posachedwa, ndiye kuti ichi ndi chinthu chofunikira kwambiri. Nthawi yoyenera kuchitapo kanthu ndi pamene awiri mwakhala mukulankhula za kudzipereka kwanu kwa wina ndi mzake.
Mwakhala panokha kwakanthawi tsopano ndipo mumamvetsetsa malire ndi zomwe mukuyembekezera muubwenzi wanu. Ngati simuli paubwenzi wokhala ndi mkazi mmodzi, mikhalidwe iyi imatha kukhala yovuta kufotokoza. Choncho, ngati muli mu ubale wotseguka, mwachitsanzo, kukhala bwenzi loyamba la wina ndi mzake kungakhale chizindikiro chakuti mwakonzeka kutenga sitepe yaikuluyi pamodzi.
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3. Sanjani limodzi pamene moyo wanu ukuwoneka wogwirizana
Mungakhale otsimikiza kuti mwakonzeka kukhala ndi mnzanu wapamtima pamene moyo wanu uli wophatikizidwa. Aliyense pafupi nanu akudziwa kuti ndinu banja. Simunangokumana ndi abwenzi awo, achibale ndi ogwira nawo ntchito komanso mumacheza nawo pafupipafupi. Ndipo mosemphanitsa.
Natasha ndi Colin anali mabwanawe akuntchito omwe adayamba chibwenzi. Kuyambira kukwera basi kupita kuntchito kukadya chakudya chamasana pa desk ya Natasha, anali ovomerezeka momwe angathere. Onjezani chitumbuwa pamwamba pomwe Colin adaganiza zopempha Natasha kuti abwere kudzakhala naye!
Kwenikweni, ngati pali zambiri 'ife' muubwenzi wanu kuposa 'inu' ndi 'ine', mukudziwa kuti ndinu okonzeka kukakhala ndi munthu ameneyo ndipo funso la 'kosachedwa bwanji kuti tisonkhane pamodzi' limasiya kukhalapo.
4. Mukagawana masomphenya mumakhala okonzeka kukakhala ndi wina
Mabanja ambiri amawona kusamukira limodzi ngati a popondera ku ukwati kapena kuthera moyo wawo pamodzi. Inu ndi mnzanuyo mukagawana masomphenya amtsogolo, ndi chizindikiro chotsimikizika kuti mwakonzeka kuyamba kugawana malo okhala.
Izi zikutanthauza kukambirana ngati mukufuna kukwatirana musanasankhe nthawi yoyenera kukakhala limodzi. Ngati inde, ndiye liti. Kaya mukufuna kukhala ndi ana. Ndi angati komanso pamlingo wotani wa moyo wanu?
5. Muli ndi ndondomeko yazachuma yoti muzikhalira limodzi
Kukhalira limodzi sikungogawana malo anu enieni ndi kuitana wina ndi mzake kulowa mkati mwa moyo wanu. Zikukhudzanso kugawana maudindo ndi ndalama. Ndiye, kodi kusamukira pamodzi ndi sitepe yaikulu? Ndithu ndithu.
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe mwakonzeka kuchita ndi chakuti inu ndi mnzanuyo mwakambirana ndikukwaniritsa ndondomeko yachuma kuthandizira dongosolo ili. Mumadziwa amene azipereka ndalama zolipirira lendi mwezi uliwonse, zogulira, zogulira, kukonza, ndi zina. Ndipo nonse muli ndi dongosololi 100%.
6. Mukukhala limodzi mulimonse
Ichi chikhoza kukhala kuyesa kwa litmus kuti posachedwa posachedwa kuti tilowe pamodzi. Inu ndi mnzanuyo mukukhala limodzi mulimonse. Mwina mukugona kwawo kapena iwo kwanu. Kapena mumasinthana pakati pa ziwirizi. Nonse muli ndi chipinda chogona m'chipinda cha wina ndi mzake ndipo mumamva kuti mukufunikira kukhala pafupi wina ndi mzake. Munthawi imeneyi, ndizomveka kukhazikitsa dongosololi ndikuyamba kugawana nyumba.
Aidan anali akuwonana ndi Cailee kwa miyezi isanu ndi itatu. Awiriwo anakhala nthawi yochuluka kwambiri ali limodzi. Aidan ankagwira ntchito pamalo ogulitsa magalimoto omwe anali pafupi kwambiri ndi nyumba ya Cailee. Chifukwa chake mausiku ambiri ataweruka kuntchito, Aidan amachoka pagalimoto ya Wendy ndikungogunda kwa Cailee. Kwa iwo, kukhala pamodzi kunali kofunika kale. Zomwe ankafunikira zinali kukhala ndi zinthu zambiri za Aidan kumeneko!
7. Kodi muyenera kusamukira limodzi liti? Nonse mwakonzeka
Simukuganizira zimenezi chifukwa mukuona kuti muyenera kuvomereza ngati muli ndi mnyamata akukupemphani kuti mulowemo pamodzi. Kapena mtsikana, pa nkhani imeneyo. Inu ndi mnzanuyo mwakambirana za kusamukira limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo nonse muli ofunitsitsa kukwaniritsa dongosololi.
Ngati mwaganiza bwino, dziwani kuti uwu ndi nthawi yabwino kwambiri yoti muziyenda limodzi ndipo simungadikire kugawana bedi usiku uliwonse, pitani. Ndi pamene mungakhale otsimikiza kuti mwakonzeka kusamukira pamodzi.
8. Mwakhala mukukumana ndi mavuto muubwenzi
Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati mwakonzeka kukakhala ndi munthu? Chizindikiro chimodzi ichi ndi chofunikira monga kudutsa gawo la honeymoon, ngati sichoncho. Mutha kukhala otsimikiza kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo mutha kumamatira limodzi ndikupangitsa kuti zitheke ngati mwakumana ndi zovuta ndipo ubale wanu ndi wolimba chifukwa cha izi.
9. Ngati moyo wanu uli mu kulunzanitsa, kokha ndiye mungasangalale ndi ubwino kusamukira pamodzi
Kodi kusamukira limodzi kumawononga ubale? Izi zitha kukhala nkhawa yayikulu kwa ambiri. Nkhawa imeneyi imatha kuchitika ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo muli ndi moyo wosamvana.
Ngati ndinu kadzidzi wausiku ndipo ali munthu wam'mawa, zitha kukhala njira yatsoka. Munthawi imeneyi, kugona kwanu konse kumatha kukhudzidwa, ndikukusiyani kukhala okwiya komanso osachedwa. Izi zitha kusokoneza ubale wanu pamapeto pake.
Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuganizira mafunso omwe mungamufunse wokondedwa wanu musanasamukire limodzi ndikumvetsetsa ngati mukuyenerana kugawana malo okhala. Pamene mukuwunika momwe mungadziwire ngati mwakonzeka kukakhala ndi munthu, ganizirani ngati moyo wanu ukugwirizana. Kapena muli ofunitsitsa kusintha kuti mugwirizane ndi moyo wa wina ndi mnzake.
10. Ndinu okonzeka kupanga zosagwirizana ndi kusintha
Kukhala ndi munthu kumatanthauza kuwapezera malo m'moyo wanu mwanjira iliyonse yomwe mungaganizire. Izi zimafuna kusintha kwina, kusintha, ma tweaks ndi kunyengerera. Pajatu palibe anthu awiri omwe ali ndi umunthu wofanana, zomwe amakonda ndi zomwe sakonda.
Kodi ndinu wokonzeka kutero popanda kukwiyira mnzako za izo? Kodi mnzanu ali patsamba lomwelo? Ngati inde, ndinu okonzeka kusamukira pamodzi.
Nthawi zonse mukakayikakayika kuti mwatsala pang'ono kusamukira limodzi ndipo mungadziwe bwanji ngati mwakonzeka kukakhala ndi munthu wina, onani mndandanda wazizindikirozi. Ngati mungakopere zambiri zomwe zalembedwa apa, mutha kuchitapo kanthu molimba mtima mu ubale wanu. Nthawi yomweyo, kumbukirani upangiri wofunikira kwambiri wosunthira-pamodzi - chitani pa nthawi yoyenera, pazifukwa zoyenera komanso mutatha kuganiza mozama komanso kusinkhasinkha.
Ibibazo
Kusamukira pamodzi ndi sitepe yaikulu mu chiyanjano chifukwa mukukonzekera kugawana moyo wanu ndikuwonetsa mbali yanu yeniyeni. Mpaka pano kwakhala kuvala kwapamwamba komanso kukhala pabwino kwambiri. Koma tsopano mudzadziwana ndi zovala zanu zogona. Izi zikhoza kulimbitsa chikondi chanu. Koma zikhoza kuwononganso ubwenzi wanu ngati simukonda zimene mukuona panopa.
Mukudziwa kuti ndi nthawi yoyenera kusamukira pamodzi pamene mwapeza chitonthozo wina ndi mzake, mukuyang'ana tsogolo limodzi ndipo muli ndi cholinga chosamukira.
Ngati mutasamukira limodzi pamene ubale wanu udakali wosokonezeka ndiye kuti mutha kuyambitsa zovuta zingapo. Poyamba simukhala omasuka ndi mnzanuyo, mwina simungakhale omasuka mukulankhulana kwanu ndipo pali mwayi woti kusamvana kuwononge ubale wanu.
Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
