Tsegulani Chibwenzi: Zomwe Zili & Chifukwa Chake Zimagwira Ntchito

M'dziko lamakono lomwe likuyenda bwino la maubwenzi, maanja ambiri akulandira njira zatsopano zolumikizirana ndikukula. Chibwenzi chomasuka ndi njira imodzi yotero, yopatsa okondedwa ufulu wofufuza maubwenzi ena okondana kapena kugonana kwinaku akusunga ubale wodzipereka. M'malo mokhala mfulu kwa zonse, maziko ake ndi kukhulupirirana, kulankhulana, ndi kulemekezana. Kukonzekera uku si kwa aliyense, koma kwa iwo omwe amayendetsa bwino, kumatha kusintha. 

Taganizirani izi ngati kusintha ubale wanu kuti ugwirizane ndi zosowa zanu zapadera, kusiya makhalidwe achikhalidwe. Kuti timvetse bwino, tidalankhula ndi dokotala wa matenda amisala komanso katswiri wa zamaganizo wochokera ku California, Dr. Shefali Batra (MD mu matenda amisala), yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wokhudza kulekana ndi kusudzulana, kusudzulana ndi chibwenzi, komanso nkhani zokhudzana ndi kuyanjana kwa anthu asanakwatirane. Chifukwa chake, kaya mukufuna kudziwa za maubwenzi omwe simuli ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi m'modzi kapena mukufuna kufufuza za chibwenzi chotseguka, tili ndi mayankho!

Kodi Ubale Wotseguka Ndi Chiyani?

Ubwenzi wotseguka ndi mgwirizano womwe onse awiri amavomerezana kuchita chibwenzi kapena kugonana kunja kwa ubale wawo woyamba. Mosiyana ndi chinyengo, chomwe chimaswa kudalirana, chibwenzi chotseguka chimagogomezera kuwona mtima ndi kulankhulana momasuka . Dr. Batra akufotokoza kuti, "Tangoganizani ngati kulembetsa kwa Netflix—nonsenu mumasangalala ndi mapulogalamu osiyanasiyana, koma nthawi zonse mumabwerera ku sofa imodzi. Chibwenzi chotseguka sichikutanthauza kusintha mnzanu koma kuwonjezera zokumana nazo, kulumikizana, ndi kumvetsetsana." Kwa iwo omwe amadzifunsa kuti "Kodi kukhala muubwenzi wotseguka kumatanthauza chiyani?", ndi nkhani yogwirizanitsa kufufuza ndi kudzipereka.

Pachimake, ubale womasuka umamangidwa pa mapangano omwe amasiyana kuchokera kwa awiri ndi awiri. Ena angakonde kukhazikika m'malingaliro pomwe amalola kuti afufuze, pomwe ena amatha kulumikizana ndi ena. Chinsinsi chagona pakumvetsetsa zosowa za wina ndi mnzake ndikupanga dongosolo lomwe likuwoneka kuti ndilolondola. Kwa omwe ayamba kumene kukhala pachibwenzi chopanda mkazi mmodzi, kumveka bwino komanso kuleza mtima ndikofunikira kuti apewe kusamvana.

Chifukwa Chake Ubale Wotseguka Umagwira Ntchito: Zopindulitsa 7 Zomwe Anthu Amalumbirira

Ubwenzi wotseguka ukachitika bwino, ungasinthe momwe maanja amalumikizirana, ndikupanga mphamvu zomwe zimamanga chidaliro , kufufuza, komanso kudziyimira pawokha. Mwa kupereka malo oti akule payekhapayekha komanso ngati banja, makonzedwe awa amapereka zabwino zapadera zomwe zimakhala zovuta kuzipeza m'malo akale. Kuyambira kukulitsa kulumikizana mpaka kuchepetsa kukakamizidwa, zabwino za maubwenzi osakhala a monogamous ndi zazikulu komanso zosiyanasiyana. Tiyeni tiwone chifukwa chake anthu ambiri amaona kuti chibwenzi chotseguka n'chosangalatsa kwambiri.

"Maubwenzi omasuka sikutanthauza kukhala ndi chiphaso chaulere kuti apewe kudzipereka - m'malo mwake, akufuna kupanga mgwirizano womwe umakondwerera zosowa za aliyense ndi kulemekezana."

Dr. Shefali Batra, Psychiatrist

1. Kuchepetsa kuthamanga

Dr. Batra akunena kuti, “Mu chibwenzi chosakhala cha mwamuna kapena mkazi m’modzi, palibe mnzawo m’modzi amene akuyembekezeka kukwaniritsa zosowa zonse za chikondi cha m’maganizo ndi chakuthupi . Izi zimapangitsa kuti pakhale ubale wabwino.” Mwa kugawa maudindo amenewa m’maubwenzi osiyanasiyana, anthu amatha kukhala ndi moyo wabwino komanso wokhutiritsa.

2. Kukula maganizo

Kugawana zomwe zachitika kumalimbikitsa kusatetezeka komanso chitukuko cha munthu payekha. Kuyenda ndi malingaliro monga nsanje kapena kusadzidalira kumaphunzitsa maphunziro ofunikira okhudza kudzidziwa bwino komanso chifundo. Mwachitsanzo, onani zomwe wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu adagawana za zomwe adakumana nazo ndi kusakwatira m'modzi, "Pakadali pano ndili muubwenzi wa monogamy koma ndinali ndikuchita chibwenzi chosakhala m'modzi kwa kanthawi izi zisanachitike. Zinandikakamiza kuzindikira ndikugwira ntchito pazovuta zanga ndikukhala wolankhulana bwino. Ndaphunzira zambiri za ine ndekha komanso zomwe ndikufuna/ndikusowa muubwenzi wosiyanasiyana ."

3. Kulankhulana kwabwino

Kukhala pachibwenzi chomasuka kumafuna kukambitsirana mosalekeza za mmene mukumvera, malire, ndi ziyembekezo, zimene zimalimbitsa chikhulupiriro. Othandizana nawo amaphunzira kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo momasuka, kutembenuza mikangano yomwe ingakhalepo kukhala mwayi wakukula ndi kumvetsetsa.

4. Kufufuza popanda kulakwa

Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu womasuka amalola onse okwatirana kufufuza maubwenzi atsopano popanda kusaona mtima. Ufulu umenewu ukhoza kubweretsa chikhutiro chokulirapo ndi kuletsa malingaliro a kuyimirira mu ubale woyamba.

Kuwerenga Kofananira

5. Mgwirizano wolimba

Chodabwitsa n'chakuti, kutsatira malamulo otseguka a ubale nthawi zambiri kumabweretsa maanja pafupi . Kugawana zomwe akumana nazo komanso kulankhulana momasuka za malire kumalimbikitsa ubwenzi wolimba komanso kudalirana.

6. Zokumana nazo zosiyanasiyana

Chibwenzi chosakhala ndi mkazi mmodzi chimalola kuyanjana kosiyanasiyana, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti munthu akhale ndi moyo wabwino komanso wachikondi. Kukumana ndi anthu atsopano kumabweretsa malingaliro atsopano, chisangalalo, komanso mwayi wokukula. Monga momwe wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu adafotokozera, "Zingakhale zosangalatsa komanso zosangalatsa kukhala ndi okondedwa atsopano, ndipo zimenezo zingawonjezere mphamvu zabwino muubwenzi wanu womwe ulipo kale."

7. Ufulu ndi kudziimira

Chibwenzi chotseguka chimalola anthu kukhala odziyimira pawokha pamene ali m'gulu lodzipereka . Kugwirizana kumeneku pakati pa umunthu ndi mgwirizano kumalimbitsa chisangalalo chaumwini komanso chogawana. Izi zimathandizanso kuthetsa mavuto aliwonse okhudzana ndi kugonana pakati pa awiriwa, monga momwe zalembedwera ndi wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit uyu ,

• Wokondedwa A ali ndi kink Partner B sangathe kapena sakufuna kutenga nawo mbali, kotero Partner A ali ndi ufulu kutenga nawo mbali ndi ena.
• Kapena A ndi wachiwerewere ndipo sakufuna kugonana mochuluka momwe B amafunira (ngati alipo) kuti B athe kupeza zosowa zawo kwina.
• Kapena kusagwirizana kofananako popanda kugonana koma kusiyana kwakukulu pakugonana
• Kapena matenda omwe amalepheretsa wokondedwa kuti asagonane
• Kwa maanja omwe akhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali, zitha kuchepetsanso kukhumudwitsana”

Kodi Ubale Wotseguka Ndi Woyenera Kwa Inu? Zinthu Zoyenera Kuziganizira

Maubwenzi otseguka si njira imodzi yokha yothetsera mavuto. Amafunika kuganizira mosamala komanso kudzidziwa bwino kuti agwirizane ndi mfundo zanu komanso zolinga zanu paubwenzi . Dr. Batra akulangiza kuti, "Musanayambe njira iyi, ndikofunikira kuwunika momwe mukumvera, luso lanu lolankhulana, komanso luso lanu lothana ndi nsanje. Kukhala paubwenzi wotseguka kumafuna kuyenda m'madzi osadziwikiratu komanso kukhalabe oona mtima komanso odalirika ndi mnzanu." Ngati mukufuna kudziwa zambiri, nazi zinthu zina zomwe muyenera kuganizira kuti mudziwe ngati moyo uwu ndi woyenera kwa inu.

1. Kutonthoza ndi kusatetezeka: Muyenera kukumbatira moona mtima komanso kumasuka pamalingaliro anu. Izi zikuphatikizapo kugawana mantha, kusatetezeka, ndi zilakolako popanda chiweruzo
2. Maluso olankhulana: Kukambitsirana momveka bwino komanso pafupipafupi sikungakambirane. Othandizana nawo ayenera kukhala okonzeka kukambirana moona mtima, nthawi zina zosamasuka kuti atsimikizire kumvetsetsana
3. Kukhazikika kwakamtima: Kuwongolera nsanje ndikofunikira. Kudziona kukhala wofunika komanso kudzidalira n'kofunika kwambiri kuti tithe kuthana ndi zovuta za chibwenzi chomasuka
4. Makhalidwe agawidwa: Onse awiri agwirizane pa zomwe zili zovomerezeka. Zoyembekeza molakwika zingayambitse kusamvana ndi mikangano, choncho kukhala ndi zolinga zofanana n'kofunika kwambiri
5. nthawi kasamalidwe: Kuyanjanitsa maulumikizidwe angapo kumafuna khama. Kuwonetsetsa kuti nthawi yabwino ya maubwenzi onse ndi luso lomwe liyenera kupangidwa
6. Kulemekeza malamulo: Tsegulani malamulo a ubale ziyenera kuvomerezana ndikutsatiridwa. Malangizowa amapanga chimango chomwe chimapangitsa kuti ubale ukhale wokhazikika komanso waulemu
7. Kumvetsa kuopsa kwake: Khalani okonzeka kuthana ndi zovuta ndikukula. Ubale uliwonse umakhala ndi zoopsa, koma maubwenzi omasuka amafunikira chisamaliro chowonjezereka ndi kusinthika

Momwe Mungayendere Chibwenzi Chotsegula

Kuyenda bwino mu chibwenzi chotseguka kumafuna zambiri kuposa kungotsegula maganizo—kumafuna khama, kumvetsetsa, ndi kudzipereka ku kuwonekera poyera. Ubwenzi wotseguka ukhoza kufalikira ngati onse awiri akugwirizana ndi malire ndi ziyembekezo, kupanga dongosolo lomwe limalola kufufuza popanda kuwononga kudalirana. Taganizirani izi ngati kukhazikitsa malamulo a ulendo wapadera komanso waumwini, pomwe onse awiri akugwirizana momwe angapitirire. Njirayi imaphatikizapo kulankhulana momveka bwino, kulemekezana , komanso kufunitsitsa kusintha pamene ubale ukusintha. Ngati mukuganizira za moyo uwu, nazi njira zothandiza komanso malangizo amomwe mungakhalire ndi ubale wotseguka.

1. Ikani malire omveka bwino 

Fotokozani zomwe zili zovomerezeka ndi zosayenera. Izi zikuphatikiza kukambirana za malire amalingaliro, kulumikizana kwakuthupi, ndi zina zomwe zingatheke. Nawa ena mwa mafunso oti muyambitse monga momwe Dr. Batra adapangira:

• Kodi pali malire pa omwe mungayende nawo?
• Kodi kulumikizana kwachiwiri kukuyenera kukhala kwakuthupi kapena pali kuthekera masiku wamba ndi kumacheza in general?
• Kodi mungabweretse mabwenzi ena kwanuko kapena ayi-ayi?
• Kodi mungakhale mukugawana zambiri zotani zokhuza maulaliki ena?

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 15 Zosonyeza Kuti Mudzabwererana ndi Wakale Wanu

2. Muzilankhulana nthawi zonse

Konzani mayendedwe kuti mukambirane zakukhosi ndi zomwe mwakumana nazo. Mafupipafupi amadalira mphamvu yanu. Mutha kusankha kukhala ndi nkhani nthawi iliyonse m'modzi wa inu akawona bwenzi latsopano, kapena kungopanga mwezi uliwonse. Kaya makonzedwe akhale otani, kukambitsirana kumeneku kumapangitsa okwatiranawo kukhala ogwirizana ndipo kumapereka mpata wothetsa nkhaŵa zilizonse.

3. Ikani patsogolo chitetezo

Gwiritsani ntchito mapulogalamu ochezera kuti mupeze maubwenzi otseguka kuti mupeze anthu ofanana maganizo anu ndikuchita zogonana zodziteteza. Izi zikuphatikizapo:

• Kugwiritsa ntchito chitetezo
• Kuyeza matenda opatsirana pogonana pafupipafupi
• Komanso fufuzani anzanu ngati nkotheka

4. Lemekezani momwe wokondedwa wanu akumvera

Dr. Batra anati: “Khalani achifundo ndi okonzeka kusintha, makamaka ngati aka ndi koyamba kuti inuyo ndi mnzanuyo muyambe chibwenzi momasuka.” Malingaliro angasinthe pakapita nthawi ndipo angafune kusintha malire kapena kutsekanso ubale. Khalani omasuka kuwamva ndikufikira chiganizo nonsenu.

5. Khalani odzipereka pakukula

Tengani zovuta ngati mwayi womvetsetsa mozama. Monga maubwenzi onse, zibwenzi zotseguka zimabwera ndi zokwera ndi zotsika, ziribe kanthu kuchuluka kwa malire omwe mudayikiratu. Ndi ulendo umene umafuna kuleza mtima, kusinthasintha, ndi kuthandizana.

Ibibazo

Maganizo Final

Chibwenzi chotseguka chimapereka njira yapadera yopezera chikondi ndi kulumikizana. Pomvetsetsa kuti ubale wotseguka ndi chiyani, kutsatira malamulo omasuka a ubale, ndikuyendetsa maubwenzi osagwirizana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, maanja amatha kupanga zosinthika zomwe zimawathandiza. Kwa omwe akufufuza momwe angakhalire ndi ubale womasuka, kumbukirani kuti ndi njira yopitilira kuphunzira ndikusintha. Chibwenzi chotseguka sichokhudza kusintha zibwenzi zachikhalidwe koma kukulitsa mwayi wolumikizana.

Momwe Mungayambitsire Chibwenzi: Malangizo Kwa Oyamba Ndi Amene Akuyambanso

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Nkhani 25 Za Kugona Kwa Atsikana

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.