Momwe Mungapangire Ukwati wa Polyamorous Kuti Ugwire Ntchito? 6 Malangizo a Akatswiri

Kodi mungayambe kukondana ndi anthu angapo nthawi imodzi? Mwa kuyankhula kwina, kodi mungathe kuchita nawo ukwati wa polyamorous? Zimandikumbutsa gawo lochokera Easy pa Netflix. Atalandira chithandizo cha maanja, makolo okwatirana Andi ndi Kyle amafufuza ubale womasuka. Kodi chinachitika n'chiyani? Katundu ndi sewero zambiri!

Andi amamaliza kuwononga ukwati wa bwenzi lake la mkazi mmodzi. Ndipo Kyle amatha kugwa m’chikondi ndi munthu wina. Izi, pomwe pano, ndiye ndendende kulimbana kowawa kokonza polyamory yokwatirana. Komabe, ukwati wa polyamorous sikuti nthawi zonse umatha kukhala chiwonongeko cha zovuta za equation ndi mabala amalingaliro. Pokhazikitsa malire ndi ziyembekezo moyenera, mutha kupeza malo okoma omwe amagwira ntchito bwino kwa onse okhudzidwa.

Bwanji? Tili pano kuti tithandizire kumvetsetsa bwino tanthauzo la polyamorous ndi njira zopangira maubale omwe akuwoneka kuti ndi ovuta kugwira ntchito, molumikizana ndi upangiri wazamisala komanso wophunzitsa maluso amoyo. Deepak Kashyap (Masters in Psychology of Education), yemwe amagwira ntchito zosiyanasiyana zamatenda amisala, kuphatikiza LGBTQ ndi upangiri wapafupi.

Kodi Ubale Wa Polyamorous Ndi Chiyani?

Poyamba, polyamory ndi chiyani? Tanthauzo losavuta la polyamory ndi mchitidwe wa maubwenzi achikondi ndi okondedwa oposa mmodzi, ndi chilolezo chodziwitsidwa cha onse okhudzidwa. Komabe, zikafika pakukhazikitsa lingaliro ili, zovuta zambiri zimatha kubweretsa mitu yawo. Ichi ndichifukwa chake tanthawuzo la polyamory pakudzipereka kwenikweni ndilofunika musanadumphire molunjika. 

Deepak akufotokoza, “Kusiyana kumodzi kwakukulu pakati pa polyamory ndi kunyenga mnzako ndikuti choyambiriracho chimaphatikizapo kuvomereza mwachidziwitso komanso mwachidwi. Dziwani kuti kuvomereza uku sikuli kokakamizika m'njira yoti "ndikuchita izi chifukwa mukundipempha kuti nditero".

"Kuvomereza kuyenera kukhala kosangalatsa, chinachake chogwirizana ndi "Tiyeni tiwonenso anthu ena" - nawonso ali mawu ogwira ntchito pano. Polyamory ikukwera kwambiri panthawi yaufulu / yofanana komanso pamene anthu akugwirizana kwambiri ndi zofuna zawo. Komabe, mawu oti 'polyamory' ndi ovuta kwambiri ndipo pali zigawo zambiri. Tiyeni tifufuze mwatsatanetsatane.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Ukwati Wotsegula Ndi Chiyani Ndipo Chifukwa Chiyani Anthu Amasankha Kukhala Ndi Mmodzi?

Mitundu ya maubwenzi a polyamorous

Kodi ubale wa polyamorous ndi chiyani? Deepak akuti, "Umu ndi momwe mgwirizano waubwenzi umayendera. Muli ndi ubale woyamba - munthu amene mwakwatirana naye komanso amene mumagawana naye chuma. Kenako, pali zibwenzi zachiwiri - simuli odzipereka kwa iwo mwachikondi; iwo ndi zibwenzi zanu zogonana, zachikondi, komanso zokonda."

Mawu akuti 'chikondi' mu polyamorous amatanthauza kuti pali mbali ya chikondi ndi kugwirizana.

Tanthauzo la polyamorous loperekedwa ndi Deepak limatchedwa hierarchical poly. Tiyeni tsopano tifufuze mitundu ina ya maubale polyamorous ndi malamulo awo mwatsatanetsatane:

• Polyfidelity: Othandizana nawo pagulu amavomereza kuti asakhale ndi zibwenzi zogonana/zachikondi ndi anthu omwe sali pagululo
• Atatu: Zimakhudza anthu atatu omwe ali pachibwenzi
• Quad: Zimakhudza anthu anayi amene ali pachibwenzi
• Vee: Munthu mmodzi ali pachibwenzi ndi anthu awiri osiyana koma anthu awiriwo sali pachibwenzi
• Kitchen-Table Poly: Othandizana nawo ndi mabwenzi amalumikizana bwino wina ndi mnzake ndikukambirana zopempha, zodandaula, kapena momwe akumvera.
• Kusokoneza Ubwenzi: Anthu angapo ali ndi ufulu wolumikizana ndi anzawo mwachikondi komanso kugonana popanda malire, zolemba, kapena maudindo

Momwe Mungapangire Ukwati wa Polyamorous Kuti Ugwire Ntchito? 6 Malangizo a Akatswiri

Studies zikuwonetsa kuti 16.8% ya anthu amafuna kuchita nawo polyamory, ndipo 10.7% adachitapo polyamory nthawi ina pamoyo wawo. Pafupifupi 6.5% ya zitsanzo adanena kuti amadziwa wina yemwe wakhala / akuchita nawo polyamory. Pakati pa ophunzira omwe sanali ndi chidwi ndi polyamory, 14.2% adawonetsa kuti amalemekeza anthu omwe amachita nawo polyamory.

Ziwerengero zomwe zili pamwambazi ndi umboni wakuti okwatirana a polyamory sakhalanso osowa. Ngati ndinu m'modzi wa iwo koma mwasiya chifukwa cha funso, "Kodi ukwati wa polyamorous ndi wokhazikika?", nali kalozera watsatane-tsatane wokhala ndi malangizo ochirikizidwa ndi akatswiri kuti akuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mungapangire kuti izi zitheke ndikukumbatira kuti ndinu ndani:

1. Dziphunzitseni nokha

Deepak akulangiza, "Musanadumphire kumapeto kwa zinthu, dziphunzitseni nokha. Onani ngati kusakwatiwa ndi mwamuna mmodzi ndi kwa inu kapena ayi. Mukhozanso kujowina gulu lothandizira ambiri lomwe ndimayang'anira." Kuwonjezera pa izi, akupereka mndandanda wa mabuku omwe muyenera kuwerenga musanalowe m'banja la polyamorous:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Ndinu Seri Monogamist? Zomwe Zikutanthauza, Zizindikiro, ndi Makhalidwe

• Kutetezedwa kwa Polysecure: Kulumikizana, Kuvulala ndi Kugwirizana Kusakhala Mkwatibwi
• The Ethical Slut: Kalozera Wothandiza wa Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures
• Zoposa Awiri

Mabuku awa adzakuthandizani kumvetsetsa zovuta za polyamory, kuyambira pazovuta zamalamulo kupita ku matenda opatsirana pogonana. Ngati simuli owerenga kwambiri, musadandaule kuti takupatsani msana. Mutha kumvera ma podcasts otsatirawa kuti mufufuze tanthauzo la 'polyamorous' mwatsatanetsatane:

• Kupanga Polyamory Ntchito
• Polyamory Weekly

Monga Deepak akunenera, kufunafuna upangiri wochezeka ndi anthu ambiri kuyenera kukhala gawo lanu loyamba ngati muli paubwenzi wodzipereka ndipo simukudziwa koyambira. Katswiri wochezeka ndi anthu ambiri adzakuthandizani kuthana ndi zovuta zokhala m'dziko lopanda polyamorous. Ngati mukuyang'ana chithandizo ndi chitsogozo, alangizi pa gulu la Bonobology ali nthawi zonse chifukwa cha inu. 

2. Kulankhulana, kulankhulana, kulankhulana

Deepak akuti, "Maukwati ambiri okonda polyamour amalephera chifukwa anthu safuna kulankhulana. Nsanje ndi kusatetezeka zimagwira m'maubwenzi onse apamtima koma pano, mudzakumana maso ndi maso ndi nkhani za kukhulupirirana tsiku ndi tsiku.

Ngati mukufuna kuti maubwenzi anu aziyenda bwino, muzilankhulana, muzilankhulana, muzilankhulana!

Nawa maupangiri omwe angapangitse kuti banja lanu la anthu ambiri liziyenda bwino:

• Yamikirani mnzanuyo/ auzeni za mphamvu zawo pafupipafupi
• Atsimikizireni nthawi ndi nthawi kuti simukupita kulikonse
• Osathamangira ndondomekoyi ndikupatsa mnzanuyo nthawi yokwanira kuti asinthe / kukonza
• Dziwani kuti polyamory sichingathetse mavuto anu paubwenzi pokhapokha mutakhala ndi maziko olimba olankhulana bwino

3. Dziwani kuti simungakhale chilichonse kwa munthu mmodzi yekha

Malinga ndi Deepak, pali zinthu ziwiri zazikulu zomwe mabanja a polyamory amakumana nazo:

• “Nditaya chinthu chomwe ndiyenera kukhala nacho, mnzanga amachitira zinthu kwa munthu wachitatu osati ine, pali vuto ndi ine”
• "Ine sindiri wabwino mokwanira. Adzapeza wina wabwino kuposa ine. Nditsala ndekha pamene mnzanga ali kunja kukapeza chitonthozo mu maubwenzi ena "

Iye akuwonjezera kuti, “Simungakhale chirichonse kwa munthu mmodzi”. Iye akulondola! Ndizosatheka kukhala ndi zosowa zanu zonse zamalingaliro ndi zakuthupi ndi munthu m'modzi kapena kukumana ndi wina. Chifukwa chake, chinsinsi chaubwenzi wopambana wa polyamorous ndikuti kusalingana kwa mnzako ndi anzawo ena kumatanthawuza kudzidalira kwanu. 

4. Yesetsani 'kunyengerera' m'banja mwanu

Kodi mungasiye bwanji nsanje mu polyamory yokwatirana? Sinthani nsanje yanu kukhala chinyengo, chomwe ndi mawonekedwe a chikondi chopanda malire. Kumvera chisoni ndi mtundu wa chisangalalo chachifundo chomwe mumamva mukuwona kuti mnzanuyo ali pamalo abwino. Uli kunja koma sumachita nsanje. Ndipotu mumasangalala kuti mnzanuyo ali wokondwa.

Malinga ndi Magazini ya GO, mawu akuti comprecation adayambira kumapeto kwa zaka za m'ma 1980 mkati mwa San Francisco polyamorous community yotchedwa Kerista. Komabe, lingalirolo palokha lili ndi mbiri yakale kwambiri, yozama. Liwu la Sanskrit la izo ndi 'mudita', lomwe limatanthauza "chimwemwe chachifundo", chomwe ndi chimodzi mwa mizati inayi ya Chibuda.

Ndipo momwe mungakulitsire comprection mu consual non-monogamy? Nawa maupangiri:

• Yambani mwa kukulitsa chifundo, luso lolankhulana ndi ena
• Pamene mnzanuyo akusonyeza nsanje, musadziteteze ndipo mvetserani moleza mtima
• Dziwani kuti kupezeka kwa munthu wina sikukuwopsyezani

5. Kuwona polyamory sikuwopseza zosowa za mwana wanu; kusakhazikika kumachita

Deepak akuti, "Njira yoyamba ya lingaliro la maubwenzi amodzi zinafika, mwana anali “mwana wa fuko”. Sanadziwe makolo ake. Nthaŵi zina, mwana amadziŵa amayi ake koma osati atate wake.

Choncho, mwana safunikira kwenikweni mwamuna ndi mkazi mmodzi kuti amlere, koma amafunikira chikondi, chisamaliro, ndi zakudya zopatsa thanzi. Malingana ngati mukuchita zimenezo, kukhala ndi anthu oposa mmodzi sikungawononge thanzi la maganizo a ana anu.”

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Masamba 12 Abwino Kwambiri Pazibwenzi a Polyamorous a 2022

6. Musanyalanyaze zoyesayesa zosokoneza maganizo za anthu

Deepak akufotokoza kuti, "Lingaliro la mgwirizano wa anthu awiri ndi lachilengedwe chonse. Koma, ukwati (mtundu wina wa mgwirizano wa anthu awiri) ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu / chikhalidwe. Ndi lingaliro lopangidwa ndi anthu. Ndi nthano yongopeka kuti chifukwa chakuti mumagwiritsa ntchito polyamory, ndinu odzipereka-phobic. Ndipotu, mu ubale wa polyamory, mlingo wa kudzipereka umakhala wochuluka kwambiri chifukwa chakuti mumadzipereka kwambiri. "

Choncho, musagule nkhani zofalitsidwa ndi anthu. Lemekezani chowonadi chanu ndikusankha ma equation omwe amakulitsa chikhutiro cha ubale wanu. Ngati maubwenzi wamba kapena mabwenzi angapo amakupangitsani kukhala osangalala, zikhale choncho. Mulibe ngongole kwa aliyense, bola ngati chibwenzi chanu ndi malo otetezeka omwe amakulolani kuyesa ndikufufuza. 

Pomalizira pake, Deepak anati: “Kukwatiwa ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi mmodzi kumaoneka kuti n’kosathandiza kwa okwatirana ambiri chifukwa chakuti anthu ambiri akamalowetsamo m’banja mwanu, m’pamenenso maganizo awo amakhala pachiwopsezo kwambiri ndipo zimenezi zimachititsa kuti pakhale vuto lalikulu.

Ibibazo

Zizindikiro Mutha Kukhala Unicorn Mu Ubale Wa Polyamorous

Ubale wa Vanilla - Chilichonse Chimene Muyenera Kudziwa

Kuthana ndi Nsanje Mu Ubale Wa Polyamorous

Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

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