Polyamorous Vs Mitala - Tanthauzo, Kusiyana, Ndi Malangizo

Kufalitsa chikondi

Dziko lasintha kwambiri m'zaka zaposachedwa, ndipo ndi izi, tanthauzo la maubwenzi likuchulukirachulukira. Palibenso njira imodzi yokha yovomerezeka yokondana, kumanga banja kapena moyo ndi okondedwa anu. Kusintha kumeneku kwachititsanso kuti zisamveke bwino za kapangidwe kake ndi magwiridwe antchito amitundu ina ya maubwenzi, makamaka kwa iwo omwe akuwayang'ana kunja kapena angafune kuwafufuza koma osadziwa. Lero, tikukambirana gawo limodzi la imvi: polyamorous vs mitala.

Mawu awiriwa sanali mbali ya maubwenzi apamtima mpaka posachedwapa. Sikuti anthu ambiri anali omasuka ku lingaliro lokhala ndi okondedwa oposa mmodzi. Ndipo iwo amene adachita izi adadziletsa. Koma tsopano maganizo a anthu pa maubwenzi amenewa akusintha, zimathandiza kudziwa mmene amagwirira ntchito. Kuti tidziwe zambiri za maubwenzi a poly zotere, tidafikira Dr. Ashish Paul, yemwe amagwira ntchito pa Kubereka Kwachilengedwe, Kugonana Kopatulika, ndi Mankhwala Okhazikika.

Iye anati: “Popeza anthu ambiri amangozoloŵera kuona maubwenzi a mwamuna kapena mkazi mmodzi, n’zomveka komanso n’zosadabwitsa kuti anthu amasokonezekabe pakati pa mawu awiriwa.” Kusokonezeka kumeneku kumachokera ku kufanana kumodzi kwakukulu, kugwiritsiridwa ntchito kwa liwu lachigiriki lakuti poly, lomwe ndi liwu lachigiriki lotanthauza “ambiri.”

Polyamorous Vs Mitala - Amatanthauza Chiyani?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Ngakhale pakhoza kukhala kusiyana kwa polyamorous vs mitala, ali ndi chinthu chimodzi chofanana - amatsutsa lingaliro lakuti mgwirizano wachikondi uyenera kuyang'ana njira ina kuti ukhale watanthauzo ndi wopambana. Poganizira zimenezi, tiyeni tione mwatsatanetsatane za mitundu iwiri ya maubwenzi amenewa, kuyambira mitala.

Mitala ndi imodzi mwazo mitundu ya maubwenzi osakhala a mkazi mmodzi kumene ukwati umaphatikizapo anthu osachepera atatu. Palibe malire pa chiwerengero cha zibwenzi zomwe mungakhale nazo pamitala bola ngati pali chilolezo cha onse okhudzidwa. Dr. Paul akuti, “mitala imatanthauza kukhala pabanja ndi anthu ambiri.” Mitala ndi ya mitundu iyi:

Maubwenzi a Polygyny, kumene mwamuna ali ndi akazi oposa mmodzi
Ubale wa polyandry, pomwe mkazi ali ndi amuna opitilira m'modzi
Ukwati wamagulu ndi mtundu wina wa mitala pomwe gulu la anthu osiyana amuna ndi akazi amakhala limodzi ndikugawana nyumba imodzi.

Malinga ndi Pew Research Center, mitala ndi yovomerezeka m’mayiko ochepa chabe kuphatikizapo Middle East ndi madera ochepa a Asia. Komabe, sizimachitidwa mofala ngakhale zili zovomerezeka. Ndi 2% yokha ya anthu padziko lonse lapansi omwe amachita mitala. Komiti ya United Nations Yoona za Ufulu Wachibadwidwe yafika podzudzula mitala ndi kunena kuti imaphwanya ulemu wa akazi.

Pofotokoza za polyamory, Dr. Paul akufotokoza kuti: “Tanthauzo la Polyamory tingamvetse bwino mwa kuona chiyambi cha bukuli.

Uwu ndi mtundu wina wa maubwenzi osakhala a mkazi mmodzi kumene munthu amamanga zibwenzi zachikondi ndi zibwenzi zambiri ndi chidziwitso ndi chilolezo cha aliyense wokhudzidwa. Si chinyengo pamene zachitika ndi chilolezo cha mnzanuyo. Ngakhale pamene okwatirana asankha kulola anthu ena kulowa muubwenzi, umakhala ubale wa polyamory.

Pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya mgwirizano wa polyamory:

Vee: Chilembocho chikufanana ndi chilembo “V” chosonyeza kuti m’modzi ali ndi zibwenzi ziwiri koma awiriwo sakugwirizana koma apereka chivomerezo chawo ndi kuvomereza kuti pakhale chibwenzichi.
Utatu: Utatu ndi pamene anthu atatu ali pachibwenzi. Atha kukhala ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe ali ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wina pamalopo kapena anthu atatu okha omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ali pachibwenzi. Onse atatu apa akukhudzidwa wina ndi mzake
Quads: Pamene okwatirana achita zibwenzi ndi banja lina, ndi imodzi mwa mitundu ya polyamory. Onse anayi pano akugonana
Hierarchical polyamory: Apa ndi pamene ubale umodzi ndiwo cholinga chachikulu. Okwatirana adzakhala pamodzi, kugawana ndalama, ndipo ngakhale kukondana. Cholinga chawo ndi ubale wawo koma amathanso kuwona anthu ena osalola kuti zikhudze ubale wawo woyamba. Zili chimodzimodzi ngati kukhala ndi ubale womasuka
Non-hierarchical polyamory: Apa ndi pamene okondedwa sayika patsogolo ubale uliwonse. Zonse zomwe amasamala ndizo zosowa zawo. Aliyense ayenera kutenga udindo wofanana paubwenzi ndipo aliyense ali ndi ufulu wofanana pa momwe ubalewo udzayendere
Kitchen table polyamory: Ubwenzi woterewu sikuti ndi wachiwerewere kapena wachikondi. Zili ngati mgwirizano wa platonic kumene maanja amangocheza ndi maanja ena kapena osakwatiwa omwe amawakonda ndikusangalala kucheza nawo
Parallel polyamory: Parallel polyamory ndi pamene wina akudziwa za chibwenzi chake. Iwo alibe nazo ntchito koma sakonda kucheza ndi bwenzi lawo lofunika kwambiri kapena kukhala ndi ubale ndi iwo. Zomwe amasamala ndi ubale wawo ndi bwenzi lawo
Solo polyamory: Ubale wopanda zingwe ndiye wofunikira kwambiri pano. Munthuyo sakhudzidwa ndi ubale uliwonse waukulu. Atha kukhala ndi maubwenzi ambiri wamba popanda cholinga chofuna kuchita zazikulu
Ubale wa Mono-poly: Apa m’modzi amakhala ndi mkazi mmodzi, pamene winayo ali ndi ufulu wochita nawo ubwenzi ndi anthu ambiri mmene angafunire.

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Kusiyana Kwakukulu Mu Ubale Wa Polyamorous Vs Mitala

Dr. Paul anati: “Mawu a mitala ndi mitala sasonyeza kuti ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi, kutanthauza kuti mawuwa angagwiritsidwe ntchito ponena za amuna ndi akazi amene ali ndi zibwenzi zambiri.” Ngakhale anthu amene si amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amene ali ndi zibwenzi zambiri, amakhala pansi pa mawu amenewa. Pansipa pali kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa maubwenzi a polyamorous vs mitala:

Ubale wa Polyamorous	Mitala ubwenzi
Mutha kukhala pachibwenzi ndi anthu ambiri nthawi imodzi. Ubale woterewu sufuna kuti mukhale okwatirana mwalamulo. Mukhoza kapena simungakwatire kuti muzichita maubwenzi a polyamory	Mitala ndi yoletsedwa kwa anthu apabanja okha. Izi zikutanthauza kuti mwamuna wokwatiwa ali ndi akazi ambiri kapena mkazi wokwatiwa wokhala ndi amuna angapo. Maphwando onse okhudzidwa ayenera kukhala omangidwa mwalamulo ndikudzipereka
Aliyense akhoza kuchita polyamory mosasamala kanthu kuti chipembedzo chawo chimawalola kapena ayi. Koma aliyense amene ali mu chiyanjano ayenera kutsatira zonse malamulo a mgwirizano wa polyamorous	A Mormon ndi Asilamu amatha kuchita mitala chifukwa amaloledwa m'chipembedzo chawo kukhala ndi okwatirana oposa mmodzi. Komabe, amuna achisilamu okha ndi omwe angakhale ndi akazi angapo. Azimayi achisilamu sangachite mitala
Ubale woterewu ndi njira ina m'malo mokwatira mitala pomwe safuna kudandaula za kutha kwalamulo kukhala ndi zibwenzi zingapo.	Kukwatiwa kwa mitala sikuloledwa m’maiko ambiri, kupatula ku Middle East ndi madera ena a Afirika ndi Asia. N’chifukwa chake anthu amatengera mitala m’malo mochita mitala

Momwe Mungasankhire Ngati Ubale Wa Poly Ndi Woyenera Kwa Inu

Ngati nthawi zonse mumaona kuti lingaliro la "mnzanu m'modzi kwa moyo wanu wonse" linali losatheka kapena losokoneza kwa inu, ubale wa anthu ambiri ukhoza kumveka ngati mpweya wabwino poyerekeza. Ngakhale zingamveke ngati zosangalatsa zonse ndi masewera, kusunga ndi kuyendetsa maubwenzi angapo achikondi nthawi imodzi kungakhale kovuta kwambiri kuposa momwe zimawonekera. Ndipo ngati mukufuna kuchita bwino, kukhala ndi zibwenzi zambiri ndi kusunga maubwenzi ambiri kungakhale udindo waukulu. Musanamize zala zanu mu poly-vesi, ndikofunikira kuti muwone ngati ingakhale yoyenera kwa inu. Nazi zizindikiro zochepa zomwe mungathe kuchita bwino pa ubale wa poly:

1. Ndinu omasuka

Dr. Paul akuti, "Pachibwenzi cha anthu ambiri, mumakhala ndi anthu ambiri. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuti mudziwe momwe mumakhalira bwino ndi aliyense wa iwo. Muyenera kukhala omasuka ndi onse omwe akukhudzidwa kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino." Ngati simuli omasuka ndi m'modzi wa iwo, ndiye kuti muyenera kukambirana nawo za izi ndikuganiziranso kukhala nawo paubwenzi wambiri.

2. Mumawakhulupirira onse

Dr. Paul akuti, "Ngati muli ndi vuto lalikulu la kukhulupirirana kapena kusadzidalira, simudzakhala osangalala muubwenzi woterowo. Muyenera kudzidalira kwambiri kuti mupange maubwenzi ambiri opambana. Popanda izo, mumatha kuchitira nsanje mmodzi kapena munthu wina mkati mwa bwalo." Nsanje imayamba chifukwa cha kusatetezeka. Ngati muli ndi kusatetezeka, muyenera kuwongolera musanapatse mwayi maubwenzi ambiri. Apo ayi, mudzakhala ndi nkhani zodzidalira kuposa kale.

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3. Ndinu okhazikika pazachuma

Chinthu chimodzi chofunikira chomwe muyenera kuganizira ngati mukukumana ndi chisankho cha polyamorous vs mitala ndi ndalama. Mufunika ndalama zambiri kuti mukhale ndi polyandry kapena polygyny. Ngati ndinu mwamuna amene muyenera kupezera akazi onse, zomwe zili mwambo ku Middle East, ndiye kuti muyenera kukhala olemera kapena okhazikika pazachuma.

Momwemonso, ngati muli paubwenzi wa polyamorous, muyenera kudziwa momwe ndalama zidzagwirira ntchito, makamaka ngati nonse mukukhala limodzi kapena kugawana ndalama. Muyenera kukambirana kukonzekera ndalama ndipo gwirizanani momwe ndalamazo zidzayendere kuti mupewe mavuto azachuma kuti awononge equation yanu ndi okondedwa anu.

4. Mutha kuthetsa mikangano mosavuta

Ngati ndinu odziwa kuthetsa mikangano, mutha kuyendetsa maubwenzi ambiri mosavuta chifukwa anthu ambiri okondana amatanthauza kuthana ndi mavuto osiyanasiyana. Padzakhala mikangano, kusagwirizana, ndi mikangano nthawi ndi nthawi. Muyenera kusamalira zinthu zotere mwaumoyo momwe mungathere kuti musunge mtendere. Ngati izi sizikumveka ngati ndinu okonzeka kuthana nazo, muyenera kuyesetsa musanavomereze kukhala paubwenzi wambiri.

5. Anzanu amakusangalatsani

Cholinga chonse cha kukhala paubwenzi wotere ndi kukhala wosangalala. Ndi chisangalalo, sitikutanthauza kunena kuti kudzakhala utawaleza ndi agulugufe nthawi zonse. Simungayambe kukondana ndi wokondedwa aliyense kapena chidwi chachikondi. Koma ziyenera kukupangitsani kukhala osangalala komanso okhutira. Momwemonso, muyenera kudziwa momwe angawasangalatse ndi kumva kukondedwa. Komabe, ngati anzanu sakusangalatsani ndipo mukumva zowawa mutakumana nawo, muyenera kuganiziranso za moyo wa anthu ambiri.

Malangizo Osunga Ubale Wa Poly

Kukambitsirana kulikonse pa kusiyana kwa polyamorous vs mitala ndi kufanana sikukwanira popanda kukhudza malamulo ena oyendetsera maubwenzi awa. Ndizolakwika kuti mutha kuchita momwe mukufunira muubwenzi wama poly popeza onse okondana amadziwana. Pali zinthu zina ndi malangizo omwe muyenera kukumbukira ngati mukufuna kuti maubwenzi anu aziyenda bwino:

1. Mufunika chilolezo cha aliyense

Kuvomereza pachibwenzi Ndikofunikira kwambiri ndipo ubale wa anthu ambiri sungathe kugwira ntchito popanda mgwirizano wa aliyense. Zosavuta monga choncho. Apo ayi, ndi chinyengo chakale. Muyenera kudziwitsa aliyense amene akukhudzidwa ndi vuto lomwe mulili komanso mtundu wa ubale womwe mukufuna kuti uwu ukhale. Perekani matanthauzo omveka a zomwe mukufuna. Nawa mafunso omwe mungadzifunse musanalowe muubwenzi wa poly:

Kodi izi zingokhala zogonana kapena mukufuna kukhala nawo pachikondi ndikupita nawo ku chakudya chamadzulo ndikukhala nawo nthawi yabwino?
Kodi mumakumana nawo kangati?
Kodi mwagwirapo ntchito pazosowa zanu?
Kodi mudzatha kuyang'anira zonse zomwe anzanu akuyembekeza?

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2. Musanyalanyaze wokondedwa wanu woyamba

Ngati muli paubwenzi wofunikira, ndiye kuti muyenera kuwonetsetsa kuti mnzanuyo ndi wokhutira komanso wokondwa ndi chilichonse chomwe chikuchitika. Osawapangitsa kumva kuti anyalanyazidwa. Izi ndizofunikira makamaka ngati sakutenga nawo gawo muubwenzi wambiri. Zikatero, ndikofunikira kuti mukhale omasuka ndikuwadziwitsa ngati mudzakumana ndi abwenzi anu. Mukabwerera kunyumba, musayese kuwachititsa nsanje kapena osatetezeka mwa kuwasisita pamaso pawo zomwe munakumana nazo.

3. Samalani nthawi zonse kutenga matenda opatsirana pogonana

Pamene mukugonana ndi anthu oposa m'modzi, ndikofunikira kuti muzigonana motetezeka. Ngati munthu m'modzi atenga kachilombo, pali mwayi woti onse atenga kachilomboka. Tengani njira zodzitetezera dzitetezeni ku matenda opatsirana pogonana ndi mimba zosafuna.

4. Khazikitsani malamulo oyambira ndi malire

Muyenera kukambirana ndikukhazikitsa malire mutangolowa muubwenzi wa poly. Ngati simukufuna kugawana zambiri zaumwini kapena zaukadaulo ndi okondedwa anu, auzeni zilizonse zomwe zili zoletsedwa (zogonana komanso zakukhosi).

5. Pitirizani kulankhulana

Mofanana ndi maubwenzi a mkazi mmodzi, kulankhulana n'kofunikanso pano. Ndiwo Chinsinsi cha maubwenzi abwino. Ngati m'modzi mwa okondedwawo akuwona ngati malingaliro awo sakutsimikiziridwa, amveni ndikupeza pomwe zinthu zikulakwika.

Zolozera Mfungulo

Mitala ndi yoletsedwa m'maiko ambiri pomwe palibe zoletsa zotere pa maubwenzi a polyamorous
Chimodzi mwazosiyana kwambiri paubwenzi wa polyamorous vs mitala ndi woyamba ndi wamadzimadzi ndipo umapezeka m'mikhalidwe yosiyana. Palibe malamulo okhazikitsidwa ndi kupanga, ndipo zili kwa anthu omwe akukhudzidwa kuti afotokoze zomwe zikugwirizana ndi ubale wawo.
Ngati mukufuna kukhala paubwenzi wotero, ndiye kuti muyenera kukhala munthu wotetezeka wopanda chitetezo chozama kapena nkhani zokhulupirira.
Kuthetsa kusamvana kwabwino, kuwonekera poyera, kulumikizana, ndi kuvomereza ndizo maziko a ubale wachimwemwe wa anthu ambiri

Ma nuances a maubwenzi a poly akhoza kukhala ovuta kwambiri kwa anthu ambiri. Komabe, ngati mukuwona kuti ndizoyenera kwa inu ndipo muli ndi chidaliro kuti mutha kuziyendetsa, mwa njira zonse, lowetsani ndikuyesa madzi.

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