Polyamorous Vs Mitala - Tanthauzo, Kusiyana, Ndi Malangizo

Kufalitsa chikondi

Dziko lasintha kwambiri m'zaka zaposachedwa, ndipo ndi izi, tanthauzo la maubwenzi likuchulukirachulukira. Palibenso njira imodzi yokha yovomerezeka yokondana, kumanga banja kapena moyo ndi okondedwa anu. Kusintha kumeneku kwachititsanso kuti zisamveke bwino za kapangidwe kake ndi magwiridwe antchito amitundu ina ya maubwenzi, makamaka kwa iwo omwe akuwayang'ana kunja kapena angafune kuwafufuza koma osadziwa. Lero, tikukambirana gawo limodzi la imvi: polyamorous vs mitala.

Mawu awiriwa sanali mbali ya maubwenzi akuluakulu mpaka posachedwapa. Anthu ambiri sanali omasuka ku lingaliro lokhala ndi okondedwa oposa mmodzi. Ndipo omwe adachita zimenezo anali osasamala za izi. Koma tsopano popeza malingaliro a anthu pa maubwenzi awa akusintha, zimathandiza kudziwa momwe amagwirira ntchito. Kuti tidziwe zambiri za maubwenzi oterewa, tinalumikizana ndi Dr. Ashish Paul , yemwe ndi katswiri wa Natural Fertility, Sacred Sexuality, ndi Holistic Medicine.

Iye anati: “Popeza anthu ambiri amangozoloŵera kuona maubwenzi a mwamuna kapena mkazi mmodzi, n’zomveka komanso n’zosadabwitsa kuti anthu amasokonezekabe pakati pa mawu awiriwa.” Kusokonezeka kumeneku kumachokera ku kufanana kumodzi kwakukulu, kugwiritsiridwa ntchito kwa liwu lachigiriki lakuti poly, lomwe ndi liwu lachigiriki lotanthauza “ambiri.”

Polyamorous Vs Mitala - Amatanthauza Chiyani?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Ngakhale pakhoza kukhala kusiyana kwa polyamorous vs mitala, ali ndi chinthu chimodzi chofanana - amatsutsa lingaliro lakuti mgwirizano wachikondi uyenera kuyang'ana njira ina kuti ukhale watanthauzo ndi wopambana. Poganizira zimenezi, tiyeni tione mwatsatanetsatane za mitundu iwiri ya maubwenzi amenewa, kuyambira mitala.

Mitala ndi imodzi mwa mitundu ya maubwenzi osakhala a munthu mmodzi pomwe ukwati umakhala ndi anthu osachepera atatu. Palibe malire a chiwerengero cha okwatirana omwe mungakhale nawo muubwenzi wa mitala bola ngati pali chilolezo cha aliyense wokhudzidwa. Dr. Paul akuti, “Mitala imatanthauza kukwatiwa ndi anthu oposa m’modzi.” Mitala ndi ya mitundu iyi:

Maubwenzi a Polygyny, kumene mwamuna ali ndi akazi oposa mmodzi
Ubale wa polyandry, pomwe mkazi ali ndi amuna opitilira m'modzi
Ukwati wamagulu ndi mtundu wina wa mitala pomwe gulu la anthu osiyana amuna ndi akazi amakhala limodzi ndikugawana nyumba imodzi.

Malinga ndi Pew Research Center , ukwati wa mitala ndi wovomerezeka m'maiko ochepa okha kuphatikiza Middle East ndi madera ochepa a Asia. Komabe, sukuchitika kwambiri ngakhale kuti ndi wovomerezeka. 2% yokha ya anthu padziko lonse lapansi ndi omwe amachita ukwati wa mitala. Komiti Yoona za Ufulu wa Anthu ya United Nations yadzudzula ukwati wa mitala ndipo yati ukuphwanya ulemu wa akazi.

Pofotokoza za polyamory, Dr. Paul akufotokoza kuti: “Tanthauzo la Polyamory tingamvetse bwino mwa kuona chiyambi cha bukuli.

Uwu ndi mtundu wina wa maubwenzi osakhala a mkazi mmodzi kumene munthu amamanga zibwenzi zachikondi ndi zibwenzi zambiri ndi chidziwitso ndi chilolezo cha aliyense wokhudzidwa. Si chinyengo pamene zachitika ndi chilolezo cha mnzanuyo. Ngakhale pamene okwatirana asankha kulola anthu ena kulowa muubwenzi, umakhala ubale wa polyamory.

Pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya ubale wa polyamory :

Vee: Chilembocho chikufanana ndi chilembo “V” chosonyeza kuti m’modzi ali ndi zibwenzi ziwiri koma awiriwo sakugwirizana koma apereka chivomerezo chawo ndi kuvomereza kuti pakhale chibwenzichi.
Utatu: Utatu ndi pamene anthu atatu ali pachibwenzi. Atha kukhala ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha omwe ali ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wina pamalopo kapena anthu atatu okha omwe amagonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha ali pachibwenzi. Onse atatu apa akukhudzidwa wina ndi mzake
Quads: Pamene okwatirana achita zibwenzi ndi banja lina, ndi imodzi mwa mitundu ya polyamory. Onse anayi pano akugonana
Hierarchical polyamory: Apa ndi pamene ubale umodzi ndiwo cholinga chachikulu. Okwatirana adzakhala pamodzi, kugawana ndalama, ndipo ngakhale kukondana. Cholinga chawo ndi ubale wawo koma amathanso kuwona anthu ena osalola kuti zikhudze ubale wawo woyamba. Zili chimodzimodzi ngati kukhala ndi ubale womasuka
Non-hierarchical polyamory: Apa ndi pamene okondedwa sayika patsogolo ubale uliwonse. Zonse zomwe amasamala ndizo zosowa zawo. Aliyense ayenera kutenga udindo wofanana paubwenzi ndipo aliyense ali ndi ufulu wofanana pa momwe ubalewo udzayendere
Kitchen table polyamory: Ubwenzi woterewu sikuti ndi wachiwerewere kapena wachikondi. Zili ngati mgwirizano wa platonic kumene maanja amangocheza ndi maanja ena kapena osakwatiwa omwe amawakonda ndikusangalala kucheza nawo
Parallel polyamory: Parallel polyamory ndi pamene wina akudziwa za chibwenzi chake. Iwo alibe nazo ntchito koma sakonda kucheza ndi bwenzi lawo lofunika kwambiri kapena kukhala ndi ubale ndi iwo. Zomwe amasamala ndi ubale wawo ndi bwenzi lawo
Solo polyamory: Ubale wopanda zingwe ndiye wofunikira kwambiri pano. Munthuyo sakhudzidwa ndi ubale uliwonse waukulu. Atha kukhala ndi maubwenzi ambiri wamba popanda cholinga chofuna kuchita zazikulu
Ubale wa Mono-poly: Apa m’modzi amakhala ndi mkazi mmodzi, pamene winayo ali ndi ufulu wochita nawo ubwenzi ndi anthu ambiri mmene angafunire.

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Kusiyana Kwakukulu Mu Ubale Wa Polyamorous Vs Mitala

Dr. Paul anati: “Mawu a mitala ndi mitala sasonyeza kuti ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi, kutanthauza kuti mawuwa angagwiritsidwe ntchito ponena za amuna ndi akazi amene ali ndi zibwenzi zambiri.” Ngakhale anthu amene si amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amene ali ndi zibwenzi zambiri, amakhala pansi pa mawu amenewa. Pansipa pali kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa maubwenzi a polyamorous vs mitala:

Ubale wa Polyamorous	Mitala ubwenzi
Mutha kukhala pachibwenzi ndi anthu ambiri nthawi imodzi. Ubale woterewu sufuna kuti mukhale okwatirana mwalamulo. Mukhoza kapena simungakwatire kuti muzichita maubwenzi a polyamory	Mitala ndi yoletsedwa kwa anthu apabanja okha. Izi zikutanthauza kuti mwamuna wokwatiwa ali ndi akazi ambiri kapena mkazi wokwatiwa wokhala ndi amuna angapo. Maphwando onse okhudzidwa ayenera kukhala omangidwa mwalamulo ndikudzipereka
Aliyense akhoza kuchita polyamory mosasamala kanthu kuti chipembedzo chawo chimawalola kapena ayi. Koma aliyense amene ali mu chiyanjano ayenera kutsatira zonse malamulo a mgwirizano wa polyamorous	A Mormon ndi Asilamu amatha kuchita mitala chifukwa amaloledwa m'chipembedzo chawo kukhala ndi okwatirana oposa mmodzi. Komabe, amuna achisilamu okha ndi omwe angakhale ndi akazi angapo. Azimayi achisilamu sangachite mitala
Ubale woterewu ndi njira ina m'malo mokwatira mitala pomwe safuna kudandaula za kutha kwalamulo kukhala ndi zibwenzi zingapo.	Kukwatiwa kwa mitala sikuloledwa m’maiko ambiri, kupatula ku Middle East ndi madera ena a Afirika ndi Asia. N’chifukwa chake anthu amatengera mitala m’malo mochita mitala

Momwe Mungasankhire Ngati Ubale Wa Poly Ndi Woyenera Kwa Inu

Ngati nthawi zonse mumaganiza kuti lingaliro lakuti "mnzanu mmodzi moyo wanu wonse" ndi losatheka kapena losasangalatsa kwa inu, ubale wa anthu ambiri ungamveke ngati mpweya wabwino poyerekeza. Ngakhale zingamveke ngati zosangalatsa komanso masewera, kusunga ndi kuyendetsa maubwenzi ambiri achikondi nthawi imodzi kungakhale kovuta kwambiri kuposa momwe zimawonekera. Ndipo ngati mukufuna kuchita bwino, kukhala ndi okondedwa ambiri komanso kusunga ubale wa anthu ambiri kungakhale udindo waukulu. Musanagwiritse ntchito zala zanu mu poly-verse, ndikofunikira kuwunika ngati zingakhale zoyenera kwa inu. Nazi zizindikiro zingapo zomwe mungathe kuthana nazo bwino mu ubale wa anthu ambiri:

1. Ndinu omasuka

Dr. Paul akuti, "Pachibwenzi cha anthu ambiri, mumakhala ndi anthu ambiri. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuti mudziwe momwe mumakhalira bwino ndi aliyense wa iwo. Muyenera kukhala omasuka ndi onse omwe akukhudzidwa kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino." Ngati simuli omasuka ndi m'modzi wa iwo, ndiye kuti muyenera kukambirana nawo za izi ndikuganiziranso kukhala nawo paubwenzi wambiri.

2. Mumawakhulupirira onse

Dr. Paul akuti, "Ngati muli ndi vuto lalikulu la kukhulupirirana kapena kusadzidalira, simudzakhala osangalala muubwenzi woterowo. Muyenera kudzidalira kwambiri kuti mupange maubwenzi ambiri opambana. Popanda izo, mumatha kuchitira nsanje mmodzi kapena munthu wina mkati mwa bwalo." Nsanje imayamba chifukwa cha kusatetezeka. Ngati muli ndi kusatetezeka, muyenera kuwongolera musanapatse mwayi maubwenzi ambiri. Apo ayi, mudzakhala ndi nkhani zodzidalira kuposa kale.

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3. Ndinu okhazikika pazachuma

Chinthu chimodzi chofunikira chomwe muyenera kuganizira ngati mukukumana ndi chisankho cha polyamorous vs mitala ndi ndalama. Mufunika ndalama zambiri kuti mukhale ndi polyandry kapena polygyny. Ngati ndinu mwamuna amene muyenera kupezera akazi onse, zomwe zili mwambo ku Middle East, ndiye kuti muyenera kukhala olemera kapena okhazikika pazachuma.

Mofananamo, ngati muli pachibwenzi cha anthu awiri, muyenera kudziwa momwe ndalama zidzagwirire ntchito, makamaka ngati nonse mukukhala limodzi kapena muli ndi ndalama zofanana. Muyenera kukambirana za kukonzekera zachuma ndikuvomerezana momwe ndalama zidzayendere kuti mavuto azachuma asawononge mgwirizano wanu ndi anzanu.

4. Mutha kuthetsa mikangano mosavuta

Ngati ndinu odziwa kuthetsa mikangano, mutha kuyendetsa maubwenzi ambiri mosavuta chifukwa anthu ambiri okondana amatanthauza kuthana ndi mavuto osiyanasiyana. Padzakhala mikangano, kusagwirizana, ndi mikangano nthawi ndi nthawi. Muyenera kusamalira zinthu zotere mwaumoyo momwe mungathere kuti musunge mtendere. Ngati izi sizikumveka ngati ndinu okonzeka kuthana nazo, muyenera kuyesetsa musanavomereze kukhala paubwenzi wambiri.

5. Anzanu amakusangalatsani

Cholinga chachikulu chokhala muubwenzi wotere ndikukhala wosangalala. Ponena za chimwemwe, sitikutanthauza kuti nthawi zonse zidzakhala utawaleza ndi agulugufe. Simungakonde ngakhale mnzanu aliyense kapena chikondi chilichonse. Koma ziyenera kukupangitsani kukhala osangalala komanso okhutira. Momwemonso, muyenera kudziwa momwe mungawapangitsire kukhala osangalala ndikumva kukondedwa . Komabe, ngati anzanu sakukusangalatsani ndipo mukumva chisoni mutakumana nawo, ndiye kuti muyenera kuganiziranso za moyo wa anthu ambiri.

Malangizo Osunga Ubale Wa Poly

Kukambitsirana kulikonse pa kusiyana kwa polyamorous vs mitala ndi kufanana sikukwanira popanda kukhudza malamulo ena oyendetsera maubwenzi awa. Ndizolakwika kuti mutha kuchita momwe mukufunira muubwenzi wama poly popeza onse okondana amadziwana. Pali zinthu zina ndi malangizo omwe muyenera kukumbukira ngati mukufuna kuti maubwenzi anu aziyenda bwino:

1. Mufunika chilolezo cha aliyense

Kuvomerezana pa chibwenzi n'kofunika kwambiri ndipo ubale wa anthu ambiri sungagwire ntchito popanda mgwirizano wa aliyense. Komabe, ndi nkhani yosavuta. Kupanda kutero, ndi chinyengo chakale. Muyenera kuuza aliyense amene akukhudzidwa za momwe mulili komanso mtundu wa ubale womwe mukufuna kuti ukhale. Perekani matanthauzo omveka bwino a zomwe mukufuna. Nazi mafunso ena omwe mungadzifunse musanayambe ubale wa anthu ambiri:

Kodi izi zingokhala zogonana kapena mukufuna kukhala nawo pachikondi ndikupita nawo ku chakudya chamadzulo ndikukhala nawo nthawi yabwino?
Kodi mumakumana nawo kangati?
Kodi mwagwirapo ntchito pazosowa zanu?
Kodi mudzatha kuyang'anira zonse zomwe anzanu akuyembekeza?

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2. Musanyalanyaze wokondedwa wanu woyamba

Ngati muli paubwenzi wofunikira, ndiye kuti muyenera kuwonetsetsa kuti mnzanuyo ndi wokhutira komanso wokondwa ndi chilichonse chomwe chikuchitika. Osawapangitsa kumva kuti anyalanyazidwa. Izi ndizofunikira makamaka ngati sakutenga nawo gawo muubwenzi wambiri. Zikatero, ndikofunikira kuti mukhale omasuka ndikuwadziwitsa ngati mudzakumana ndi abwenzi anu. Mukabwerera kunyumba, musayese kuwachititsa nsanje kapena osatetezeka mwa kuwasisita pamaso pawo zomwe munakumana nazo.

3. Samalani nthawi zonse kutenga matenda opatsirana pogonana

Ngati mukugonana ndi anthu oposa mmodzi, ndikofunikira kuchita zogonana zodzitetezera. Ngati munthu mmodzi atenga kachilomboka, pali mwayi woti onse ogonana nawo atenge kachilomboka. Chitanipo kanthu kuti mudziteteze ku matenda opatsirana pogonana komanso mimba zosafunikira.

4. Khazikitsani malamulo oyambira ndi malire

Muyenera kukambirana ndikukhazikitsa malire mutangolowa muubwenzi wa poly. Ngati simukufuna kugawana zambiri zaumwini kapena zaukadaulo ndi okondedwa anu, auzeni zilizonse zomwe zili zoletsedwa (zogonana komanso zakukhosi).

5. Pitirizani kulankhulana

Monga momwe zilili ndi ubale wa munthu mmodzi, kulankhulana n'kofunika kwambiri pano. Ndi chinsinsi cha ubale wabwino . Ngati m'modzi mwa okwatiranawo akuona kuti malingaliro ake sakutsimikiziridwa, amvereni ndikupeza komwe zinthu zikuyenda molakwika.

Zolozera Mfungulo

Mitala ndi yoletsedwa m'maiko ambiri pomwe palibe zoletsa zotere pa maubwenzi a polyamorous
Chimodzi mwazosiyana kwambiri paubwenzi wa polyamorous vs mitala ndi woyamba ndi wamadzimadzi ndipo umapezeka m'mikhalidwe yosiyana. Palibe malamulo okhazikitsidwa ndi kupanga, ndipo zili kwa anthu omwe akukhudzidwa kuti afotokoze zomwe zikugwirizana ndi ubale wawo.
Ngati mukufuna kukhala paubwenzi wotero, ndiye kuti muyenera kukhala munthu wotetezeka wopanda chitetezo chozama kapena nkhani zokhulupirira.
Kuthetsa kusamvana kwabwino, kuwonekera poyera, kulumikizana, ndi kuvomereza ndizo maziko a ubale wachimwemwe wa anthu ambiri

Ma nuances a maubwenzi a poly akhoza kukhala ovuta kwambiri kwa anthu ambiri. Komabe, ngati mukuwona kuti ndizoyenera kwa inu ndipo muli ndi chidaliro kuti mutha kuziyendetsa, mwa njira zonse, lowetsani ndikuyesa madzi.

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