Kodi Musiyane Bwanji Ndi Mnyamata? Njira 12 Zofewetsa Kuwombera

Kodi mungasiyane bwanji ndi mnyamata popanda kupondaponda mtima wake wonse? Ngati funsoli likupangitsa kuti musiye kutha kwa banja, ndili ndi yankho lanu lero. Munganene kuti mayi anga anandiphunzitsa zimenezo. Musadabwe. Ndiroleni ndikuuzeni nkhani yonse. Nthawi ina mayi anga anandimva ndikulankhula zoipa kwa mnzanga amene ndinkamenyana naye kwambiri. Anadabwa kwambiri ndi chidziwitso changa cha mawu otukwana komanso kukula kwa ululu wanga.

Komabe, mawu ake anzeru sanangondithandiza kuti ndithane ndi vuto limeneli ndi mnzangayo komanso andithandiza zaka zonsezi pambuyo pake. Malangizo ake anali osavuta kwenikweni. Anandiyang’ana m’maso, n’kundigwira manja mwamphamvu, n’kunena kuti, “Kaya zinthu zivute bwanji, musamapweteke munthu ngati inunso simungamuthandize kumva bwino.” Ndikuganiza kuti sibwino kunena kuti mwambiwu uyenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito pa ubale uliwonse womwe tili nawo.

Pamene anthu aŵiri agawana chinthu chenicheni ndi chowona, mosasamala kanthu za utali wa nthaŵi, n’kovuta kuchithetsa. Chifukwa chake, kusweka kumakhala kowopsa ndipo pafupifupi nthawi zonse kumakhala kowawa kwambiri. Momwe ife tonse timawopa kupwetekedwa ndi kupwetekedwa, chiyembekezo chokhumudwitsa munthu wina yemwe mudagawana naye ubale wapamtima ndikuwawona akusweka pamaso panu kungakhale kodetsa nkhawa kwambiri.

Zinthu zikayenera kutha, zimangofunika. Komabe, zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuchititsa manyazi munthu amene munali kumukonda kwambiri. Mungathe kuthetsa chibwenzi chanu pokhala wolimba koma wachifundo. Kodi ndimotani mmene munthu amachitira bwino zimenezo, mungadabwe? Ndizo ndendende zomwe ife tadzera pano. Tiyeni tiwone momwe tingathetsere bwino ndi mnyamata popanda kumupweteka kwambiri.

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N’chifukwa chiyani kuthetsa chibwenzi kuli kovuta kwambiri? Nayi nkhani yomwe ingakusangalatseni. Mnzanga ndi chibwenzi chake anali ngati okondana amoyo omwe amapengana. Komabe, kusiyana kwawo kunayamba kuwasokoneza. Anali wokonda ntchito, ndipo sakanatha kudikirira kuti akhazikike ndikuyamba banja. Anali paubwenzi wapamtima ndipo amayembekeza kuti akhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali koma sadapeze njira yapakati kotero adaganiza zosiya naye.

Mwina chinali chinthu chovuta kwambiri kumuchitira chifukwa ankamukonda kwambiri ndipo ankamukonda kwambiri. Kungoganiza zogwiritsa ntchito lamulo loti asalumikizane ndi mwamuna wake kunamupangitsa kulira. Koma panali zifukwa zambiri zomwe zinali zofunika kuti achoke pa chibwenzicho, ngakhale kuti sizikutanthauza kuti sakondananso. Sizinali zomveka kuti apitirize kukhala limodzi. Ndipo ndichifukwa chake adaganiza kuti ayeneradi kukhala limodzi.

Akadali m'chikondi ndi iye, ankafunadi kudziwa ngati ali bwino komanso ngati akulimbana bwino pambuyo pa kutha. N’zoona kuti simungangosiya kusamalira munthu chifukwa chakuti munasiyana naye. Mudzakhalabe wodera nkhaŵa kwambiri za mmene munthuyo akumvera ndi moyo wake. Ngakhale matherowo atakhala oyipa komanso osokonekera, chikondicho chimapitilirabe kwakanthawi.

Monga mukuwonera, kutha kwa ubale kumatha kukhala chinthu chosasangalatsa chomwe lingaliro lomwe lingakusiyeni ndi dzenje m'mimba mwanu. Kudziwa momwe mungasiyanitse bwino ndi munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri pamene mukulimbana ndi kamvuluvulu wamaganizo kungakhale kovuta kwambiri. Komabe, ngati mumatsatira mfundo zoyambirira za khalidwe ndi ulemu, siziyenera kukhala zovuta.

Ngati mutathetsa chibwenzi ndi mnyamata popanda matope ndi kutchula dzina, mukhoza kumva bwino pa chisankho chanu. Osachepera simudzachokapo ndikudziimba mlandu. Pali njira yaulemu yothetsa chibwenzi ndi mnyamata ndipo ngati muchita bwino, mutha kupanga naye ubwenzi wautali. Simufunikanso mphunzitsi wachibwenzi kuti akuuzeni izi. Pali anthu ena amene amati anapita ku ukwati wa ex wawo chifukwa ankawaganizira komanso kuwasangalala. Ayi, si malingaliro ena abodza, ndi moyo weniweni.

Kukumbukira kuti munakondana wina ndi mnzake nthawi ina, koma, pazifukwa zilizonse, simunathe kuzigwira ntchito kungakhale kothandiza kwambiri kuti musalole ulemu ndi zabwino ziwuluke pawindo mukamakoka pulagi muubwenzi. Simukuyenera kukhala adani akuluakulu mukatha kutha.

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Nkhani yokhudza kutha kwa chibwenzi ndi yakuti palibe amene amafuna kuti chichitike ndipo ndi piritsi lopweteka kwambiri. Ngati chikondi choyamba chili kumapeto kwa malingaliro, kutha kwa chibwenzi kumakhala kosiyana kwambiri ndi kutha kwa chibwenzi. Komabe, tonsefe tiyenera kuthana nacho nthawi ina, kaya muubwenzi weniweni kapena kungochita chibwenzi wamba. Ndipo ife amene tachitapo zimenezo, tikudziwa mantha omwe mawu oti "tiyenera kulankhula" angabweretse. Koma mawu amenewo sayenera kukhala oopsa kwambiri ngati mwasankha kuchita bwino, ndichifukwa chake tili pano kuti tikuuzeni momwe mungathetsere chibwenzi ndi mwamuna mwanjira yoti sadzakudani. Ndipo ndani akudziwa, mungakhalebe mabwenzi.

Ngati mukudabwa momwe mungathetsere munthu wina popanda kumupweteka, pali njira zingapo zochepetsera ululu. Sitingathe kulonjeza kuti zikhala zosavuta, koma mutha kufewetsa nkhonya. Chifukwa chake ngati mukukonzekera kumupatsa uthenga wowopsa womwe umawerengedwa - "zatha" - mokweza komanso momveka bwino, ndibwino kuti muchite moyenera. Komanso kumbukirani kuti, ndi nthawi yovuta kwambiri kwa inu ndi bwenzi lanu lomwe mudzakhala posachedwapa.

Momwe mungathanirane ndi chisudzulo chanu chidzazindikira kuopsa kwa mabala amalingaliro ndi zipsera kumapeto kwa ubalewu kudzasiya pa mnzanuyo. Ngati simukufuna kukhala chifukwa chake amasiyidwa ndi nkhani zodalirika kapena kuopa kudzipereka, zoyesayesa zanu zothetsa chibwenzi popanda kukhumudwitsa mwamunayo zingathandize kwambiri. Nawa maupangiri angapo omwe mungakumbukire nthawi zonse kuti musiyane bwino ndi munthu wina:

1. Sankhani mawu oyenera kuti mnzanuyo akhale bwenzi lanu lakale

Angakhale cholengedwa chokoma kwambiri padziko lapansi kapena munthu wonyansa kwambiri amene munakumanapo naye. Mulimonsemo, nthawi zonse sankhani mawu anu mosamala. Momwe mungathetsere chibwenzi chanu mwaulemu ndi kuonetsetsa kuti ndinu okoma mtima komanso achifundo momwe mungathere. Kaya mumutumizira uthenga woti musiye chibwenzi, pa foni, kapena mulankhule naye bwino, pewani mawu omwe angamuwonongere ulemu kapena kumupangitsa kumva kuti sakulemekezedwa.

Kumbukirani mawu abwino akale - mawu odula kwambiri kuposa malupanga. Choncho, musalole kuti maganizo anu azilamulira zochita zanu. Ngati mutatero, akhoza kukubwezerani ndipo mkanganowo sudzatha. Bwanji osauza wina kuti mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzi m'malo mwake? Muzichita mwaulemu ndi bwenzi lanu lomwe lidzakhalapo kale, gwiritsani ntchito mawu okoma mtima mumtanthauzira mawu, ndipo khalani osamala. Gwirizanani ndi mwamuna ngati mkazi wamakhalidwe abwino, palibe chomwe chingataye.

2. Muuzeni malongosoledwe oyenera, ndipo chitani maso ndi maso

Mukamufunsa mnyamata kuti, “Eya, n’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanu wakale wakusiyani?”, ambiri a iwo amangonena kuti, “Sindikudziwa.” Sanandiuzepo chifukwa chomveka, anangotuluka. Mukamva zinthu ngati zimenezi, mumazindikira kuti mawu awo owawa amamveka bwino. M’chenicheni, sipadzakhalanso mpata uliwonse woti iwo akhalebe mabwenzi pambuyo pa kulekana. Ngati simukufuna kuti zinthu zithere pamutu wowawa, kambiranani zapamtima ndi chibwenzi chanu.

M’malo mongopepesa n’kuchoka, muuzeni mmene mukumvera komanso chimene chinakupangitsani kuti muchite zimenezo. Afotokozereni momveka bwino chifukwa chake mukumusiya. Osagwira ntchito ndipo musasunge malo opanda kanthu. Ayenera kwambiri, sichoncho?

Pambuyo pa zonse zomwe mwagawana pakapita nthawi, muyenera kumufotokozera. Muyenera kusiya kulankhula mwaulemu ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi mwayi wothetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu wabwino ndikusunga mgwirizano wabwino ndi iye. Ngati vuto lanu silikulolani kukambirana maso ndi maso - mwachitsanzo, ubale wautali - osachepera chitani izi kudzera pa kanema.

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3. Khalani ndi nthawi yoganizira momwe mungamusiye

Ndikudziwa kuti mukufuna kuchita izi ndikuyamba njira yopitira patsogolo, ndikuchira kuchokera ku kusudzulana . Muyenera kuti mwakumana ndi ululu ndi kuvutika kwanu kuti mufike pa chisankho ichi ndipo mungaganize kuti kuchotsa bandeji ndiyo njira yabwino kwambiri yosudzulana ndi mwamuna. Muyeneranso kuganizira momwe akumvera komanso nthawi yosudzulana kuti akhale ndi mphamvu zothetsera vutoli.

Ngati akukumana ndi mavuto kuntchito kapena akukumana ndi vuto linalake la m’banja, mungamulekerere, chifukwa imeneyo mwina si njira yabwino kwambiri yotulutsiramo. Mfundo yaikulu ndi yakuti, sankhani nthawi yabwino yoti musiyane naye mwina sangangokukwiyitseni kapena kukhala ndi chifukwa chomuchotsera zokhumudwitsa zina. Kusankha nthawi yoyenera, malo, ndi nthawi ndikofunikira ngati mukuyesera kupeza momwe mungathetsere bwino.

4. Khalani woyamba kumuuza, musasiyire kwa anzanu

Azimayi ambiri adzagwirizana ndi izi movutikira. Munali ndi mphindi yofooka ndipo munauza mnzanu zakukhosi kwanu. Pa vinyo ndi chakudya chamadzulo, mudataya nyemba za momwe ubale wanu wakhalira wozunza komanso kuti mukudikirira nthawi yoyenera kumusiya. Patatha sabata imodzi, mnzake yemweyo anakalipira chibwenzi chake, chomwe chinapezeka kuti ndi bwenzi lapamtima la bwenzi lako. Inde, mabwenzi onse awiri akhoza kukhala apakamwa kwambiri omwe angapangitse moyo wanu kukhala gehena wamoyo ngati simusamala.

Mukuganiza kuti mukungocheza ndi anzanu ndikutsegula, ndipo chinthu chotsatira mukudziwa, mnzanuyo wakhala bwenzi lanu lakale popanda inu kudziwa. Ndipo mukuwoneka ngati munthu woyipa mumkhalidwewu. Ngati simukufuna kugwidwa mumkhalidwe wochititsa manyazi ndipo mukufunadi kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu wathanzi kwambiri, kumbukirani zinthu ziwiri izi:

a) Osagawana zakukhosi kwanu ndi wina aliyense

b) Khalani oyamba kupereka uthenga woyipa

Kumva za kutha kwa ubale kuchokera kwa munthu wachitatu ndi chinthu choyipa kwambiri. Zidzangomupangitsa kudzimva kukhala wonyozeka komanso wopanda pake. Kumbukirani kuti amakukondani ndipo muyenera kubwezera.

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5. Khalani owona mtima (koma osati mwankhanza)

Ayi, palibe malo ochitira nkhanza kwambiri pano. Koma inde, ngati mukufuna kumuswa mtima, khalani oona mtima pankhaniyi. Simukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzi chanu ndi ukonde wa mabodza ndi chinyengo. Katswiri wa maubwenzi komanso mphunzitsi wa chibwenzi, Seth Meyers, akulangiza chimodzimodzi. Ngati muli ndi chifukwa champhamvu komanso chomveka bwino, gawanani ndi mnzanuyo. Musayese kubisa zifukwa zopanda pake monga kuti sakuyamikirani kapena kukupatsani chidwi kapena sakusamala za kukusangalatsani.

Mudziwitseni choonadi, ndi choonadi chonse mochokera pansi pamtima. Koma ngati chowonadi ichi chikukhudza mnyamata wina, musalole. Iye sakuyenera choonadi chankhanza (osati ngakhale pang'ono). Osamuuza kuti wagwa ndi wina ngati ukufuna kuti usiyane naye bwino. Izi zidzawononga kudzidalira kwake kotheratu. Zikatero, zisungeni mwachidule koma zenizeni momwe mungathere.

6. Lekani kudzudzula masewera kuti musakhumudwitse munthuyo

Ngati ubale wanu sunayende bwino, nonse muli ndi udindo wofanana pa izi. Monga akuluakulu, simuyenera kumuimba mlandu iyeyo kapena kuvomereza kuti ndi vuto lanu lokha. Kusinthana mlandu ndi nkhani yaubwana ndipo si yankho la momwe mungathetsere chibwenzi chanu popanda kuphwanya mtima wake.

Muyenera kusunga ndi kulemekeza kulemekezana ngakhale mukusiyana. Kodi mungasiyane bwanji ndi munthu mwaulemu? Osawaimba mlandu ndikuyamba kubweretsa mavuto am'mbuyomu kuti mupeze mwayi wina pazokambirana. Zinthu zidzangoyipa kuchokera pamenepo.

7. Yesetsani kuchita zinthu mwauchikulire mukatha kukambirana

Mutha kusuntha ndikukhala okonzeka kukumananso mukangokambirana za kutha ndipo mwaganiza kuti mukufuna kuti munthu uyu achoke m'moyo wanu kwabwino. Mukatuluka, kukumana ndi anyamata atsopano, ndikukhala ndi zokumana nazo zatsopano, mwina sikungakhale lingaliro labwino kwambiri kuti muwawonetsere pazochezera zanu. Kulingalira pang'ono ndikofunikira ngati inu ndi wakale wanu mudakali olumikizidwa pazama media kapena muli ndi anzanu wamba.

Samalani ndi momwe mumachitira zinthu mutatha kusudzulana. Kuuza munthu kuti mukufuna kusudzulana bwino ndi chinthu chimodzi. Kuganizira momwe mnzanu wakale amamvera mutatha kusudzulana, kwa kanthawi, ndi nkhani ina. Mwina mnzanu wakale sanaganizire zomwe zachitika ndipo akhoza kuchira chifukwa cha kusweka mtima. Mupatseni nthawi apo ayi angangoyamba kukwiya kwambiri ndikuyamba kukunyengererani ndi chiyembekezo choti angakupezeninso kapena angayambe kukulankhulani molakwika.

8. Osanena zinthu zina ngati mukufunadi kuthetsa zinthu mwaulemu

Kodi mungasiyane bwanji ndi mwamuna mwabwino momwe mungathere? Nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe muyenera kuzipewa pazovuta zilizonse:

a) Ndemanga zilizonse zokhuza maonekedwe ake kapena zizolowezi zomwe simukuzikonda

b) Chilichonse chomwe chingamupatse mpata wokulimbikitsani kuti mukhalebe, monga, "Ndikudziwa kuti ndiwe munthu wabwino koma ndikuganiza kuti ndiyenera kupitilira."

c) Chilichonse chomwe chimamupatsa chiyembekezo cha chiyanjanitso, monga "Ndimakukonda, ndikufunabe kuti ukhale m'moyo wanga."

Ndikudziwa kuti mukudabwa momwe mungathetsere mwaulemu ndikufuna kugwiritsa ntchito mawu okoma mtima koma pali mzere wabwino pakati pa kukhala wokoma mtima ndi kupatsa mnzanu chiyembekezo chabodza. Ngati mulibe cholinga chomupatsa mwayi winanso, pewani kunena zinthu zosonyeza zimenezo. Akhoza kuwatenga ngati nyenyeswa za mtsogolo.

9. Pemphani maganizo ake kuti muthe kuthetsa vutoli

Kodi mungathetse bwanji chibwenzi chanu popanda kumukhumudwitsa pa mameseji? Eya, lingalirani kumupanga kukhala mbali ya zokambiranazo m’malo mongomvetsera chabe kaimidwe ndi maganizo anu. Malingana ndi ubale ndi mphunzitsi wa chibwenzi, Christine Hart, izi sizikutanthauza kuti mukupempha chilolezo chake kuti musiyane koma kumupanga kukhala gawo lofanana la zokambirana.

Izi zimalimbikitsidwa kwambiri mukakula pamene mwakhala pachibwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo mukugawana mgwirizano ndi chibwenzi chanu. Angadabwe ndi chisankho chanu poyamba, koma ngati aloledwa kuganizira za icho, angakuuzeni momwe mukumvera ndikufika pa mfundo yofanana. Izi zimakupatsani mwayi wosiyana bwino.

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10. Musamufufuze pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja

Ngati zatha, zatha. Simungapitirize kuyang'ana m'mbuyo. Akhoza kukhala akuika chithunzi cha chisoni pa Facebook kapena kugona ndi mnzanu wapamtima kapena ngakhale kukuuzani zoipa kwa anzanu onse omwe muli nawo. Musiyeni kuti athane ndi chisoni chake ndipo musamusokoneze kapena kusokoneza njira yake. Chofunika kwambiri, musamulankhule chifukwa cha chifundo kapena nsanje. Muyenera kupatsana mpata woti muchiritse ndikukhazikitsa mtendere ndi zakale , mukamaliza kukambirana za kutha kwa chibwenzi.

11. Musamukhumudwitse

Inde, kukhala patali ndi kusiya malo ndikofunikira kuti muthe kuthetseratu banja lanu, komabe, mukangopereka lingaliro lanu kwa wokondedwa wanu. Simungathe kuzimiririka ndikumusiya ali ndi mafunso m'maganizo mwake. Mukangoona kuti chibwenzi chanu sichikuyenda bwino, muyenera kumudziwitsa mnzanuyo. Simungathe kuzimiririka ndikuyembekeza kuti azindikira kuti ubalewo watha. Zidzamupangitsa misala, tikhulupirireni!

Komanso musamachite mabodza ndi zifukwa zodzipezera kutali ndi iye. Kuti musiyane ndi munthu wabwino ndikukhalabe mabwenzi pambuyo pake, simuyenera kuwasiya akulendewera. Kupha mnzake kapena wina aliyense pankhaniyi ndi chinthu choyipa kuchita. Munamukonda munthuyu panthawi ina ndipo mukuyenera kumulemekeza. Khalani olimba mtima ndikuyang'anizana naye mwamsanga. Tsukani ulemu ndi chisomo osati ngati wamantha pothawa.

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12. Konzekerani zotulukapo zake

Izi zingakupangitseni kudzifunsa kuti, chifukwa chiyani kutha kwavuta kwambiri? Panthaŵi imeneyi, mudzazindikiradi kuti mosasamala kanthu za khama lanu lotani, kulekana kwanu sikudzakhala njira yoyera, yoyalidwa bwino. Ponena za 'zotsatira', ndikutanthauza kuti padzakhala kusamvana pakati panu ngakhale mutayesa kufewetsa nkhonya. Ndi iko komwe, palibe chomwe chimatchedwa kutha kwangwiro.

Angakukalipireni kapena kungochita mantha kwambiri. Angakunyozeni, kukuletsani kuti musalowe m'malo ochezera pa intaneti, kapena kukunyozani dzina lanu. Kumbukirani, tonsefe timakumana ndi mavuto athu m'njira zathu. Choncho muloleni athane ndi mavuto ake. Pakadali pano, musataye mtima. Mwafika patali pofunafuna njira yoti muthetsere chibwenzi ndi mwamuna bwino momwe mungathere, musalole kuti khama lonselo liwonongeke.

Palibe amene ananena kuti kulekana n'kosavuta, makamaka pamene inu ndi chibwenzi chanu muli mbiri. Koma nthawi zonse pali njira yabwino yomwe mungatenge kuti muthetse chibwenzi chanu. Nthawi zonse mungasiyane naye mwamtendere komanso mwaulemu. Zonse zimatengera momwe mumasankhira kuthana ndi vutoli. Sungani malangizo awa m'malingaliro anu ndipo kutha kwanu sikutha kukhala chinthu china choyipa m'moyo wanu. Zisungeni zenizeni, ndipo samalirani kutha ngati mkazi wamphamvu yemwe muli.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.