Kodi Musiyane Bwanji Ndi Mnyamata? Njira 12 Zofewetsa Kuwombera

Kodi mungasiyane bwanji ndi mnyamata popanda kupondaponda mtima wake wonse? Ngati funsoli likupangitsa kuti musiye kutha kwa banja, ndili ndi yankho lanu lero. Munganene kuti mayi anga anandiphunzitsa zimenezo. Musadabwe. Ndiroleni ndikuuzeni nkhani yonse. Nthawi ina mayi anga anandimva ndikulankhula zoipa kwa mnzanga amene ndinkamenyana naye kwambiri. Anadabwa kwambiri ndi chidziwitso changa cha mawu otukwana komanso kukula kwa ululu wanga.

Komabe, mawu ake anzeru sanangondithandiza kuti ndithane ndi vuto limeneli ndi mnzangayo komanso andithandiza zaka zonsezi pambuyo pake. Malangizo ake anali osavuta kwenikweni. Anandiyang’ana m’maso, n’kundigwira manja mwamphamvu, n’kunena kuti, “Kaya zinthu zivute bwanji, musamapweteke munthu ngati inunso simungamuthandize kumva bwino.” Ndikuganiza kuti sibwino kunena kuti mwambiwu uyenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito pa ubale uliwonse womwe tili nawo.

Pamene anthu aŵiri agawana chinthu chenicheni ndi chowona, mosasamala kanthu za utali wa nthaŵi, n’kovuta kuchithetsa. Chifukwa chake, kusweka kumakhala kowopsa ndipo pafupifupi nthawi zonse kumakhala kowawa kwambiri. Momwe ife tonse timawopa kupwetekedwa ndi kupwetekedwa, chiyembekezo chokhumudwitsa munthu wina yemwe mudagawana naye ubale wapamtima ndikuwawona akusweka pamaso panu kungakhale kodetsa nkhawa kwambiri.

Zinthu zikayenera kutha, zimangofunika. Komabe, zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuchititsa manyazi munthu amene munali kumukonda kwambiri. Mungathe kuthetsa chibwenzi chanu pokhala wolimba koma wachifundo. Kodi ndimotani mmene munthu amachitira bwino zimenezo, mungadabwe? Ndizo ndendende zomwe ife tadzera pano. Tiyeni tiwone momwe tingathetsere bwino ndi mnyamata popanda kumupweteka kwambiri.

Kodi Mumasiyana Bwanji ndi Munthu Amene Mumamukonda?

N’chifukwa chiyani kuthetsa chibwenzi kuli kovuta kwambiri? Nayi nkhani yomwe ingakusangalatseni. Mnzanga ndi chibwenzi chake anali ngati okondana amoyo omwe amapengana. Komabe, kusiyana kwawo kunayamba kuwasokoneza. Anali wokonda ntchito, ndipo sakanatha kudikirira kuti akhazikike ndikuyamba banja. Anali paubwenzi wapamtima ndipo amayembekeza kuti akhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali koma sadapeze njira yapakati kotero adaganiza zosiya naye.

N’kutheka kuti chinali chinthu chovuta kwambiri kumuchitira chifukwa ankamukonda komanso kumukonda kwambiri. Lingaliro lomwe logwiritsa ntchito lamulo losalumikizana paubwenzi wawo zinamupangitsa kulira. Koma panali zifukwa zambiri zimene zinali zofunika kuti iye achoke paubwenziwo, ngakhale kuti sizili ngati kuti sanalinso m’chikondi. Sizinali zomveka kuti apitirize kukhala limodzi. Ndipo n’chifukwa chake anaganiza zoti ayenera kutero.

Akadali m'chikondi ndi iye, ankafunadi kudziwa ngati ali bwino komanso ngati akulimbana bwino pambuyo pa kutha. N’zoona kuti simungangosiya kusamalira munthu chifukwa chakuti munasiyana naye. Mudzakhalabe wodera nkhaŵa kwambiri za mmene munthuyo akumvera ndi moyo wake. Ngakhale matherowo atakhala oyipa komanso osokonekera, chikondicho chimapitilirabe kwakanthawi.

Monga mukuwonera, kutha kwa ubale kumatha kukhala chinthu chosasangalatsa chomwe lingaliro lomwe lingakusiyeni ndi dzenje m'mimba mwanu. Kudziwa momwe mungasiyanitse bwino ndi munthu amene mumamukonda kwambiri pamene mukulimbana ndi kamvuluvulu wamaganizo kungakhale kovuta kwambiri. Komabe, ngati mumatsatira mfundo zoyambirira za khalidwe ndi ulemu, siziyenera kukhala zovuta.

Ngati mutathetsa chibwenzi ndi mnyamata popanda matope ndi kutchula dzina, mukhoza kumva bwino pa chisankho chanu. Osachepera simudzachokapo ndikudziimba mlandu. Pali njira yaulemu yothetsa chibwenzi ndi mnyamata ndipo ngati muchita bwino, mutha kupanga naye ubwenzi wautali. Simufunikanso mphunzitsi wachibwenzi kuti akuuzeni izi. Pali anthu ena amene amati anapita ku ukwati wa ex wawo chifukwa ankawaganizira komanso kuwasangalala. Ayi, si malingaliro ena abodza, ndi moyo weniweni.

Kukumbukira kuti munakondana wina ndi mnzake nthawi ina, koma, pazifukwa zilizonse, simunathe kuzigwira ntchito kungakhale kothandiza kwambiri kuti musalole ulemu ndi zabwino ziwuluke pawindo mukamakoka pulagi muubwenzi. Simukuyenera kukhala adani akuluakulu mukatha kutha.

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Malangizo 12 Othetsera Chibwenzi Ndi Mnyamata Munjira Yabwino

Chokhudza kupatukana ndikuti palibe amene akufuna kuti zichitike ndipo ndi mapiritsi owawa omwe amawameza. Ngati chikondi powonana koyamba Kumapeto kowala komanso kosawoneka bwino kwa mawonekedwe amalingaliro, kupatukana kuli pamdima komanso wachisoni. Komabe, tonsefe tiyenera kulimbana nazo nthawi ina, kaya tili pachibwenzi kapena kungongocheza wamba. Ndipo ife amene timadziwa kuopsa kwa mawu oti “tiyenera kuyankhula” kungayambitse. Komatu mawu amenewo sakuyenera kukhala oopsa kwambiri ngati mwasankha kuchita bwino, n’chifukwa chake tabwera kudzakuuzani mmene mungathetsere chibwenzi ndi mnyamata m’njira yoti asakudane. Ndipo ndani akudziwa, mutha kungokhala mabwenzi.

Ngati mukudabwa momwe mungathetsere munthu wina popanda kumupweteka, pali njira zingapo zochepetsera ululu. Sitingathe kulonjeza kuti zikhala zosavuta, koma mutha kufewetsa nkhonya. Chifukwa chake ngati mukukonzekera kumupatsa uthenga wowopsa womwe umawerengedwa - "zatha" - mokweza komanso momveka bwino, ndibwino kuti muchite moyenera. Komanso kumbukirani kuti, ndi nthawi yovuta kwambiri kwa inu ndi bwenzi lanu lomwe mudzakhala posachedwapa.

Momwe mungathanirane ndi chisudzulo chanu chidzazindikira kuopsa kwa mabala amalingaliro ndi zipsera kumapeto kwa ubalewu kudzasiya pa mnzanuyo. Ngati simukufuna kukhala chifukwa chake amasiyidwa ndi nkhani zodalirika kapena kuopa kudzipereka, zoyesayesa zanu zothetsa chibwenzi popanda kukhumudwitsa mwamunayo zingathandize kwambiri. Nawa maupangiri angapo omwe mungakumbukire nthawi zonse kuti musiyane bwino ndi munthu wina:

1. Sankhani mawu oyenera kuti mnzanuyo akhale bwenzi lanu lakale

Iye akhoza kukhala cholengedwa chokoma kwambiri choyenda padziko lapansi kapena chonyansa chauve chomwe munakumana nacho. Mulimonsemo, nthawi zonse sankhani mawu anu mosamala. Momwe mungathetsere chibwenzi mokoma mtima ndikuwonetsetsa kuti ndinu wachifundo komanso wachifundo momwe mungakhalire. Kaya inu kumutumizira text yothetsa banja, zichitani pa telefoni, kapena lankhulani pamaso pake, pewani mawu amene angamunyozetse kapena kumupangitsa kudziona kuti ndi wosafunika.

Kumbukirani mawu abwino akale - mawu odula kwambiri kuposa malupanga. Choncho, musalole kuti maganizo anu azilamulira zochita zanu. Ngati mutatero, akhoza kukubwezerani ndipo mkanganowo sudzatha. Bwanji osauza wina kuti mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzi m'malo mwake? Muzichita mwaulemu ndi bwenzi lanu lomwe lidzakhalapo kale, gwiritsani ntchito mawu okoma mtima mumtanthauzira mawu, ndipo khalani osamala. Gwirizanani ndi mwamuna ngati mkazi wamakhalidwe abwino, palibe chomwe chingataye.

2. Muuzeni malongosoledwe oyenera, ndipo chitani maso ndi maso

Mukamufunsa mnyamata kuti, “Eya, n’chifukwa chiyani mkazi wanu wakale wakusiyani?”, ambiri a iwo amangonena kuti, “Sindikudziwa.” Sanandiuzepo chifukwa chomveka, anangotuluka. Mukamva zinthu ngati zimenezi, mumazindikira kuti mawu awo owawa amamveka bwino. M’chenicheni, sipadzakhalanso mpata uliwonse woti iwo akhalebe mabwenzi pambuyo pa kulekana. Ngati simukufuna kuti zinthu zithere pamutu wowawa, kambiranani zapamtima ndi chibwenzi chanu.

M’malo mongopepesa n’kuchoka, muuzeni mmene mukumvera komanso chimene chinakupangitsani kuti muchite zimenezo. Afotokozereni momveka bwino chifukwa chake mukumusiya. Osagwira ntchito ndipo musasunge malo opanda kanthu. Ayenera kwambiri, sichoncho?

Pambuyo pa zonse zomwe awirinu mudagawana pakapita nthawi, muyenera kumufotokozera ngakhale pang'ono. Muyenera kugwada mwaulemu ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi mwayi woti musiyane ndi munthu mwaulemu ndikukhala naye momasuka. Ngati vuto lanu silikuloleza kukambirana maso ndi maso – a ubale wautali, mwachitsanzo - chitani pavidiyo.

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3. Khalani ndi nthawi yoganizira momwe mungamusiye

Ndikudziwa kuti mukufuna kuchita ndikuyamba njira yopitilira, ndi machiritso kuchokera pakutha. Muyenera kuti munadutsapo zowawa zanu ndi zowawa kuti mufike pa chisankhochi ndipo mungaganize kuti kung'amba bandeji ndiyo njira yabwino yothetsera chibwenzi. Muyenera kukhala woganizira za malingaliro ake komanso nthawi yoti muthe kutha kotero kuti ali pamutu kuti athane nazo.

Ngati akukumana ndi mavuto kuntchito kapena akukumana ndi vuto linalake la m’banja, mungamulekerere, chifukwa imeneyo mwina si njira yabwino kwambiri yotulutsiramo. Mfundo yaikulu ndi yakuti, sankhani nthawi yabwino yoti musiyane naye mwina sangangokukwiyitseni kapena kukhala ndi chifukwa chomuchotsera zokhumudwitsa zina. Kusankha nthawi yoyenera, malo, ndi nthawi ndikofunikira ngati mukuyesera kupeza momwe mungathetsere bwino.

4. Khalani woyamba kumuuza, musasiyire kwa anzanu

Azimayi ambiri adzagwirizana ndi izi movutikira. Munali ndi mphindi yofooka ndipo munauza mnzanu zakukhosi kwanu. Pa vinyo ndi chakudya chamadzulo, mudataya nyemba za momwe ubale wanu wakhalira wozunza komanso kuti mukudikirira nthawi yoyenera kumusiya. Patatha sabata imodzi, mnzake yemweyo anakalipira chibwenzi chake, chomwe chinapezeka kuti ndi bwenzi lapamtima la bwenzi lako. Inde, mabwenzi onse awiri akhoza kukhala apakamwa kwambiri omwe angapangitse moyo wanu kukhala gehena wamoyo ngati simusamala.

Mukuganiza kuti mukungocheza ndi anzanu ndikutsegula, ndipo chinthu chotsatira mukudziwa, mnzanuyo wakhala bwenzi lanu lakale popanda inu kudziwa. Ndipo mukuwoneka ngati munthu woyipa mumkhalidwewu. Ngati simukufuna kugwidwa mumkhalidwe wochititsa manyazi ndipo mukufunadi kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu wathanzi kwambiri, kumbukirani zinthu ziwiri izi:

a) Osagawana zakukhosi kwanu ndi wina aliyense

b) Khalani oyamba kupereka uthenga woyipa

Kumva za kutha kwa ubale kuchokera kwa munthu wachitatu ndi chinthu choyipa kwambiri. Zidzangomupangitsa kudzimva kukhala wonyozeka komanso wopanda pake. Kumbukirani kuti amakukondani ndipo muyenera kubwezera.

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5. Khalani owona mtima (koma osati mwankhanza)

Ayi, palibe malo ankhanza kwambiri pano. Koma inde, ngati inu muti kuswa mtima wake, osachepera kukhala woona mtima za izo. Simukufuna kuthetsa ubale wanu ndi intaneti ya mabodza ndi chinyengo. Katswiri wa maubwenzi komanso mphunzitsi wa chibwenzi, Seth Meyers, akulangizanso chimodzimodzi. Ngati muli ndi chifukwa champhamvu komanso chomveka, gawanani ndi mnzanuyo. Osayesa kusokoneza popereka zifukwa zopanda pake ngati sakuyamikani kapena ndikupatseni chidwi kapena samasamala za kukusangalatsani.

Mudziwitseni choonadi, ndi choonadi chonse mochokera pansi pamtima. Koma ngati chowonadi ichi chikukhudza mnyamata wina, musalole. Iye sakuyenera choonadi chankhanza (osati ngakhale pang'ono). Osamuuza kuti wagwa ndi wina ngati ukufuna kuti usiyane naye bwino. Izi zidzawononga kudzidalira kwake kotheratu. Zikatero, zisungeni mwachidule koma zenizeni momwe mungathere.

6. Lekani kudzudzula masewera kuti musakhumudwitse munthuyo

Ngati ubale wanu sunayende bwino, nonse muli ndi udindo wofanana. Monga achikulire okhwima, musamamuimbe mlandu kapena kuvomereza kuti ndiye vuto lanu. Kusintha kwa mlandu ndi chinthu chachibwana kuchita ndipo ndithudi si yankho la momwe mungathetsere mwamuna popanda kuphwanya mtima wake.

Muyenera kusunga ndi kulemekeza kulemekezana ngakhale mukusiyana. Kodi mungasiyane bwanji ndi munthu mwaulemu? Osawaimba mlandu ndikuyamba kubweretsa mavuto am'mbuyomu kuti mupeze mwayi wina pazokambirana. Zinthu zidzangoyipa kuchokera pamenepo.

7. Yesetsani kuchita zinthu mwauchikulire mukatha kukambirana

Mutha kusuntha ndikukhala okonzeka kukumananso mukangokambirana za kutha ndipo mwaganiza kuti mukufuna kuti munthu uyu achoke m'moyo wanu kwabwino. Mukatuluka, kukumana ndi anyamata atsopano, ndikukhala ndi zokumana nazo zatsopano, mwina sikungakhale lingaliro labwino kwambiri kuti muwawonetsere pazochezera zanu. Kulingalira pang'ono ndikofunikira ngati inu ndi wakale wanu mudakali olumikizidwa pazama media kapena muli ndi anzanu wamba.

Samalani ndi momwe mumadzichitira nokha mutatha kutha. Kuuza munthu kuti mukufuna kuthetsa banja ndi chinthu chimodzi. Kuganizira mmene mkazi wanu akumvera pambuyo pa chisudzulo, kwa kanthawi ndithu, ndi nkhani ina. Woyamba wanu mwina sangakhale ndi zomwe zachitika ndipo atha kuchira kuchisoni. Mupatseni nthawi kapena apo ayi akhoza kungoyendayenda ndikuyamba kuphulitsa kwachikondi inu ndi chiyembekezo kuti adzapambana inu kachiwiri kapena akhoza kuyamba zoipa pakamwa inu.

8. Osanena zinthu zina ngati mukufunadi kuthetsa zinthu mwaulemu

Kodi mungasiyane bwanji ndi mwamuna mwabwino momwe mungathere? Nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe muyenera kuzipewa pazovuta zilizonse:

a) Ndemanga zilizonse zokhuza maonekedwe ake kapena zizolowezi zomwe simukuzikonda

b) Chilichonse chomwe chingamupatse mpata wokulimbikitsani kuti mukhalebe, monga, "Ndikudziwa kuti ndiwe munthu wabwino koma ndikuganiza kuti ndiyenera kupitilira."

c) Chilichonse chomwe chimamupatsa chiyembekezo cha chiyanjanitso, monga "Ndimakukonda, ndikufunabe kuti ukhale m'moyo wanga."

Ndikudziwa kuti mukudabwa momwe mungathetsere mwaulemu ndikufuna kugwiritsa ntchito mawu okoma mtima koma pali mzere wabwino pakati pa kukhala wokoma mtima ndi kupatsa mnzanu chiyembekezo chabodza. Ngati mulibe cholinga chomupatsa mwayi winanso, pewani kunena zinthu zosonyeza zimenezo. Akhoza kuwatenga ngati nyenyeswa za mtsogolo.

9. Pemphani maganizo ake kuti muthe kuthetsa vutoli

Kodi mungathetse bwanji chibwenzi chanu popanda kumukhumudwitsa pa mameseji? Eya, lingalirani kumupanga kukhala mbali ya zokambiranazo m’malo mongomvetsera chabe kaimidwe ndi maganizo anu. Malingana ndi ubale ndi mphunzitsi wa chibwenzi, Christine Hart, izi sizikutanthauza kuti mukupempha chilolezo chake kuti musiyane koma kumupanga kukhala gawo lofanana la zokambirana.

Izi kwambiri analimbikitsa mu sitepe okhwima pamene inu anali ndi maubale okhalitsa ndikugawana kuyanjana ndi bwenzi lanu. Iye angadabwe ndi chosankha chanu poyamba, koma ngati aloledwa kuchisinkhasinkha, angakuuzeni malingaliro anu ndi kufika pa lingaliro lofananalo. Izi zimakupatsani mwayi wogawana bwino.

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10. Musamufufuze pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja

Ngati izo zatha, izo zatha. Simungapitirize kuyang'ana m'mbuyo. Atha kukhala akuwonetsa zachisoni pa Facebook kapena akugona ndi bwenzi lanu lapamtima kapenanso kukulankhulani zinyalala kwa anzanu onse omwe muli nawo. Musiyeni kuti athane ndi chisoni chake ndipo musalowerere kapena kusokoneza machitidwe ake. Chofunika kwambiri, musamufunse chifukwa cha chifundo kapena nsanje. Muyenera kuperekana wina ndi mzake mpata kuchiza ndi pangani mtendere ndi zakale, kukambitsiranako kukangotha ​​ndi kutha.

11. Musamukhumudwitse

Inde, kukhala patali ndi kusiya malo ndikofunikira kuti muthe kuthetseratu banja lanu, komabe, mukangopereka lingaliro lanu kwa wokondedwa wanu. Simungathe kuzimiririka ndikumusiya ali ndi mafunso m'maganizo mwake. Mukangoona kuti chibwenzi chanu sichikuyenda bwino, muyenera kumudziwitsa mnzanuyo. Simungathe kuzimiririka ndikuyembekeza kuti azindikira kuti ubalewo watha. Zidzamupangitsa misala, tikhulupirireni!

Komanso musamachite mabodza ndi zifukwa zodzipezera kutali ndi iye. Kuti musiyane ndi munthu wabwino ndikukhalabe mabwenzi pambuyo pake, simuyenera kuwasiya akulendewera. Kupha mnzake kapena wina aliyense pankhaniyi ndi chinthu choyipa kuchita. Munamukonda munthuyu panthawi ina ndipo mukuyenera kumulemekeza. Khalani olimba mtima ndikuyang'anizana naye mwamsanga. Tsukani ulemu ndi chisomo osati ngati wamantha pothawa.

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12. Konzekerani zotulukapo zake

Izi zingakupangitseni kudzifunsa kuti, chifukwa chiyani kutha kwavuta kwambiri? Panthaŵi imeneyi, mudzazindikiradi kuti mosasamala kanthu za khama lanu lotani, kulekana kwanu sikudzakhala njira yoyera, yoyalidwa bwino. Ponena za 'zotsatira', ndikutanthauza kuti padzakhala kusamvana pakati panu ngakhale mutayesa kufewetsa nkhonya. Ndi iko komwe, palibe chomwe chimatchedwa kutha kwangwiro.

Akhoza kukukalipirani kapena kungokhala dzanzi. Akhoza kukuchitirani chipongwe, kukutsekerezani pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, kapena kumangonyoza dzina lanu. Kumbukirani, tonsefe kuthana ndi kusweka mtima kwathu m'njira zathu. Choncho msiyeni achite yekha. Pakali pano, musataye mtima wanu. Mwafika patali pofunafuna momwe mungasiyanitse ndi mnyamata bwino momwe mungathere, musalole kuti khama lonselo lipitirire.

Palibe amene ananena kuti kulekana n'kosavuta, makamaka pamene inu ndi chibwenzi chanu muli mbiri. Koma nthawi zonse pali njira yabwino yomwe mungatenge kuti muthetse chibwenzi chanu. Nthawi zonse mungasiyane naye mwamtendere komanso mwaulemu. Zonse zimatengera momwe mumasankhira kuthana ndi vutoli. Sungani malangizo awa m'malingaliro anu ndipo kutha kwanu sikutha kukhala chinthu china choyipa m'moyo wanu. Zisungeni zenizeni, ndipo samalirani kutha ngati mkazi wamphamvu yemwe muli.

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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.