Kusowa kwanu kwadutsa mwa ine
Monga ulusi kudzera mu singano.
Chilichonse chomwe ndimachita chimasokedwa ndi mtundu wake.
- WS Merwin
Zotsatira za kutha kwa chisudzulo zimakhala zoipa kwambiri kuposa kusudzulana komweko. Anthu amakumana ndi zotsutsana zambiri m'kanthawi kochepa. Chifukwa chothedwa nzeru, kupwetekedwa mtima, ndi kupanda njira, amasungulumwa kwambiri. Koma kodi chingachitike n’chiyani ngati zinthu zitatero? Kodi munthu angathane bwanji ndi kusungulumwa pambuyo pa kusudzulana ndi kupeza chithandizo?
Ngakhale iyi ndi nkhondo yomwe iyenera kumenyedwa ndi mtima wanu wosungulumwa, pali njira zingapo zomwe zingakuthandizeni kufikira dziko lolonjezedwa lamtendere ndi chisangalalo. Tikuyika zinthu moyenera kwa inu ndi malangizo 11 awa othana ndi kusungulumwa mukatha kutha. Ndife ndani, mukufunsa? Ndili ndi katswiri wodziwa zomwe mukukumana nazo.
Katswiri wa zamaganizo Devaleena Ghosh (M.Res, Manchester University), yemwe anayambitsa Kornash: The Lifestyle Management School, yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa mabanja ndi chithandizo cha mabanja, akugawana nzeru zina kuti akuthandizeni kuthana ndi mavuto. Yakwana nthawi yoti muyambe.
Malangizo 11 Othana Ndi Kusungulumwa Pambuyo Polekana Ndikupeza Chithandizo
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Pakhala kuwonjezeka kwa anthu omwe akusungulumwa pambuyo pa kusudzulana. Devaleena akufotokoza izi, "Masiku ano, tikuyesera kupeza chikhutiro kudzera mu ubale. Pali njira yodziyimira payokha. Koma kupeza tanthauzo kudzera mwa munthu wina sikwabwino kapena kokhazikika. Pamene kusudzulana kumachitika mosalekeza, kusungulumwa kumabwereranso kambirimbiri. Ichi ndichifukwa chake anthu amanena kuti akuyesera kuthana ndi kusungulumwa muubwenzi ."
Kukonza chizoloŵezi choterocho n'kofunika kwambiri. Koma kuti mufike pamalo omwe mungathe kuwongolera machitidwe anu, muyenera kuthamangitsa mafunde owopsa omwe kusweka kumabweretsa. Koma kodi n'zosavuta? Ndipo kodi malamulowo ndi osiyana kwa aliyense? Kodi mungatani ndi kusungulumwa ngati mwamuna? Kodi ndizosiyana mwanjira iliyonse ndi kuthana ndi kusungulumwa kwapambuyo pakutha ngati mkazi? Ndipo kodi n’zotheka kuthana ndi kusungulumwa popanda mabwenzi? Mafunso ambiri. Tiyeni tione mayankho ake.
Pano pali mndandanda wa njira zomwe zingakhale ndi msana wanu pamene mukulimbana ndi kusungulumwa.
1. Vomerezani kupweteka kwanu pothana ndi kusungulumwa
Devaleena akuti, "Kupeza zosintha kapena kumenya masewera olimbitsa thupi kuti mukhale ndi thupi langwiro si njira zothetsera mavuto pambuyo pa kutha. Dzichitireni zabwino ndikunyalanyaza chikhalidwe cha pop kwa mwezi umodzi kapena kuposerapo. Imvani zowawa zanu, zithetseni, ndipo dziwani kuti palibe vuto kugwedezeka m'malingaliro anu kwakanthawi. Tengani mwayi uwu kuganizira zomwe mwasankha, ubale wanu, ndi wakale. Khalani ndi nokha."
Kusweka kumabweretsa zabwino za ife mpaka maondo athu. Ngakhale Dwight Schrute anali chisokonezo pamene Angela anamusiya. Ndibwino kuti mufune kugona pabedi lanu tsiku lonse kapena kudya ma brownies asanu ndi awiri nthawi imodzi. Mu magawo oyambirira, yeretsani dongosolo lanu ku kulira konse ndi mkwiyo ndi kukhumudwa. M'dziko limene anthu ambiri ayamba kudziona ngati ali wosungulumwa, simuyenera kubisa mavuto amene munakumana nawo mutathetsa banja.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: N’chifukwa Chiyani Anthu Ena Amavutika Kwambiri Kuthetsa Ukwati?
2. Pezani chitonthozo mukakhala ndi anzanu
Timapeputsa kuti timafunikira kwambiri anzathu. Koma apa pali chikumbutso chanu kuti mufike kwa bwenzi lakale lomwe mwakhala mukufuna kumuwona. Mudzadabwa ndi mpumulo umene udzatsatira. Tikakhala pachibwenzi, bwenzi lathu limakhala lofunika kwambiri ndipo timakonda kuletsa mapulani athu ndi anzathu. Ndi mabwenzi omwewo amene adzakhalapo kwa ife pamene tikuyesera kuthana ndi kusungulumwa pambuyo pa kutha kwa banja.
Koma kodi bwenzi lingachite chiyani kwenikweni? Devaleena akufotokoza kuti, "Kumvedwa ndi njira yabwino yothetsera kuvutika maganizo mukatha kusudzulana . Bwenzi lomwe limakumvetserani popanda kukuweruzani kapena kuona zolakwa zanu mopanda nkhanza ndi dalitso lenileni. Zingakhale chitonthozo, komanso njira yowongolera - ingolumikizanani ndi bwenzi lachifundo."
3. Dzisamalireni nokha
Khalani wosamalira nyumba yanu komanso katswiri wa zakudya. Palibe chifukwa chokhala mkazi/mwamuna pa ntchito inayake, koma chonde samalirani zosowa zanu zofunika. Onetsetsani kuti mwadya bwino komanso mwaukhondo. Konzaninso malo anu okhala. Kukhala m'malo odetsedwa sikungathandize vuto lanu - mapepala osasamba, zovala zonunkha komanso zokwinya, chakudya chosagwira ntchito, ndi kudya zinthu zonyansa zonse ndi zosayenera. Muyenera kutsatira malamulo oletsa kusudzulana!
Tsegulani makatani ndi mazenera, yalani bedi lanu, ndipo khalani ndi sangweji yodzaza veggie ndi khofi. Sambani ndikutsuka tsitsi lanu. Pomaliza, sinthani zovala zatsopano. Padzakhala kusiyana kwakukulu m'mene mukumvera. Malo odetsedwa amakulitsa kusungulumwa. Mukukumbukira mwambi wakuti, ukhondo ndi umulungu?
Kuti mumve zambiri zamakanema akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.
4. Mukalimbana ndi kusungulumwa, musalole kuti kudzidalira kwanu kukulepheretseni
Ngakhale kuli kovuta kukhulupirira, kulekana kwanu sikumapeto kwa dziko, ndipo sikumatanthawuza umunthu wanu wonse. Muyenera kukana chikhumbo chofuna makonda kutayika kwanu. Devaleena anati: “Ana amakulira m’malo opikisana kwambiri.” Kuyambira ali wamng’ono, amapangidwa kuti ‘apambane.
"Upangiri wanga kwa inu ndi uwu: musaganize kuti kutha kwa chibwenzi ndi vuto lanu kapena kulephera kwanu. Ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pa moyo/maubwenzi. Kudzidalira kwanu sikuyenera kusokonekera panthawiyi. Musamaganize kuti 'sindili bwino' kapena 'ndikanakhala bwino' . Ubwenzi si mpikisano womwe umapambana."
5. Pewani kugwiritsa ntchito malo ochezera a pa Intaneti
Chifukwa ndi chipata chabe masewera a maganizo ndi chisoni. Zonse zimayamba ndi nkhani yomwe mumatumizira ex wanu makamaka. Mumadikirira kuti awone, muwatsatire panthawiyi, muyang'ane chithunzicho ndi munthu watsopano (komanso wokongola), ndikukhala ndi nkhawa. Mwina amayankha positi yanu ndipo mumayamba kucheza. Kukambitsirana kosalakwa ndi chiyani, sichoncho? Zolakwika.
Kugwa mu njira yoipa yolankhulirana ndi wakale ndi kulakwitsa kwakukulu. Kungakupangitseni kumva chisoni kwambiri kuposa kale. Nthawi zina, kukambirana ndi wakale kumabweretsa chinyengo ndi mawu onyoza omwe amakupangitsani kukhala ndi malingaliro otsutsana. Ndipo simukusowa vuto ili m'moyo wanu - simukufuna kuthana ndi kusungulumwa kachiwiri. Letsani wakale wanu pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti nthawi yomweyo; simudzalandira chithandizo chilichonse pamenepo.
Ndipo malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndiwo akuchititsa mliri wamasiku ano wosungulumwa. Anthu amadzimva kukhala osungulumwa paubwenzi ngakhale kuti ndi okondana kwambiri pa intaneti. Intaneti ndi yachiphamaso; ndibwino kuti mupume pang'ono kuchokera pazenera.
6. Pezani thandizo la akatswiri kuti muthane ndi kusungulumwa mukatha kutha
Ngakhale kukhala gulu lankhondo la munthu mmodzi n'kwabwino, kulandira thandizo nthawi ndi nthawi ndi lingaliro labwino. Makamaka pamene mukuyesera kuthana ndi kusungulumwa popanda anzanu. Mlangizi kapena katswiri wa zamaganizo angakuthandizeni kusanthula bwino vuto lanu; simuli nokha woganiza bwino pamene kusudzulana kwanu kwafika pachimake. Pali maubwino ambiri otsimikizika a uphungu.
Devaleena akunena za chikhalidwe cha chithandizochi, "Sizitengera magawo ambiri kuti munthu ayambenso kuyenda. Kugwirana manja pang'ono kumawathandiza kuona zinthu mosiyana. Ichi ndi chifukwa chake katswiri wa zamaganizo ayenera kufikiridwa.
Chithandizo cha pa intaneti kuchokera kwa alangizi a Bonobology chathandiza anthu ambiri atachoka muukwati wawo wovuta. Mutha kudalira ife kuti tikuthandizeni pamene mukukumana ndi mavuto awa m'moyo wanu. Kuchira kumangochitika pang'ono chabe.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 10 Zothanirana ndi Kusweka Mtima
7. Bwererani panjira
Faraaz Kazi ananena molimba mtima kuti, “Ngakhale kuti mtima wako utasweka bwanji, dziko silimatha chifukwa cha chisoni chako. Ndikudziwa kuti kulimbana ndi kusungulumwa pambuyo pa kutha kwa chibwenzi n’kovuta ndipo ntchito wamba zauchikulire zimaoneka ngati zokoka mtima. Koma kubwerera ku chizoloŵezi china ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yopezera kufanana kwa moyo wanu.
Pitani kuntchito pa nthawi yake, lowani nawo masewera olimbitsa thupi, idyani chakudya katatu patsiku, ndikutsatira nthawi yake. Izi zikuthandizani kuti musamavutike - kuganizira za malingaliro oipa nthawi zonse sikwabwino. Ndipo mutha kusintha kukhumudwa kwanu kapena mkwiyo wanu kukhala ntchito. Koma chofunika kwambiri, kukhazikitsa chizolowezi kudzaonetsetsa kuti simukudziperekanso. Iyi ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yopulumukira ku kusweka mtima . Monga tanenera, chiwonetserochi chiyenera kupitilira.
8. Pitani kwa makolo anu
Amayi ndi Atate amadziwa bwino; Kukhala ndi nthawi yobwerera kunyumba kungakhale njira yabwino kwambiri yothanirana ndi kusudzulana kowawa. Khalani mwana wa m'nyumba ndikudzilola kuti musamalire. Kukambirana momasuka ndi kholo lokondedwa kungakutsogolereni kuyankha funso lofunika kwambiri - chifukwa chiyani ndimasungulumwa komanso kukhala ndekha nditasiyana?
Anthu ambiri amadziwa kuti ubale wathu ndi makolo athu umakhudza ubale wathu wachikondi ndi akuluakulu. Chifukwa chake, mawu olakwika akuti ' mavuto a amayi/abambo .' Ngati pali mavuto omwe sanathetsedwe pakati pa inu ndi makolo anu, yesetsani kuwathetsa moleza mtima. Yesetsani kukhala ndi ubale wabwino nawo. Izi zidzatonthoza maganizo anu ovutika pamene akuyesetsa kuthana ndi kusungulumwa, komanso kukutetezani kuti musagwere mumkhalidwe womwewo mtsogolo.
9. Tsekani mutuwo kamodzi kokha
Sindikusamala zomwe mumakhulupirira koma kukhala bwenzi ndi wakale wanu ndi lingaliro loipa, loipa, komanso loipa. Sizigwira ntchito, ndipo mudzabwererananso. Kuphatikiza apo, mudzagwirizananso pazifukwa zonse zolakwika. Mwachitsanzo, kutaya mtima, chizolowezi, kusadzidalira, kapena kugonana. Pali kuthekera kwakukulu kuti 'ubwenzi' wanu ungayambitse ubale watsopano.
Samalirani chifukwa chomwe chinachititsa kuti banja lanu lithe; mudasiyana pazifukwa eti? Zinthu nthawi zonse ziziwoneka ngati zabwino mukamayang'ana kumbuyo ndipo mudzamusowa kwambiri wakale wanu. Ingodziwani kuti mukabwererana, nkhani zenizeni zidzasiyidwa pansi pa kapeti. Musagwirizane nawo kuti mupewe kusungulumwa.
10. N’cifukwa ciani ndimadziona kuti ndine wosungulumwa komanso wosungulumwa? Khalani osavuta nokha
Dzichitireni nokha monga momwe mungachitire ndi BFF wanu. Devaleena akuti, "Dzichepetseni pang'ono. Dzipatseni chifundo chofanana ndi chomwe mungapangire bwenzi lanu mumkhalidwe wofananawo. Khalani ndi zoyembekeza zenizeni kuchokera kwa inu nokha; kukhumudwa kumakhala chifukwa chofuna zambiri kuposa zomwe zingatheke. Kuchiritsa kumatenga nthawi ndi kuleza mtima. Mumaloledwa kulakwitsa ... "
Mnzanga wapamtima wapamtima adasiyana kwambiri chaka chatha. Patangopita masiku atatu atasiyana ndi mkazi wake wakale, anayambiranso ntchito ndipo anayambanso ntchito zina. Patatha mlungu umodzi wotanganidwa kwambiri, mafuta anatha ndipo anathyola kukhitchini yanga. “Ndikuchita zonse zomwe ndingathe kuti ndisamagwirizane. Ndikuuzani zomwe ndinamuuza, "Simungathe kukhala pamodzi nthawi zonse, muphulika. Ingopuma, sichoncho?"
Chidziwitso chapadera ngati mukuyesetsa kuthana ndi kusungulumwa monga mwamuna: Simuyenera kukhala wolimba mtima kapena wosasamala panthawiyi. Imvani momwe mukumvera, lirani chisoni chanu. Phunzirani kudzikonda nokha ndikunyalanyaza aliyense amene akuyesera kukakamiza malingaliro oipa a momwe mwamuna ayenera kukhalira.
11. Pangani zisankho zomveka pamene mukulimbana ndi kusungulumwa
Kuthetsa chibwenzi mopanda tsankho ndi njira yobweretsera tsoka. Musati mupangitse kutha kwa kutha kwa moyo wanu wonse pamtengo uliwonse. Izi zidzangopangitsa kuti mupange zisankho zoipa monga kumwa mowa mwauchidakwa, kusuta fodya, mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kudya kwambiri, ndi zina zotero. Ganizirani mozama momwe mungathere. Zochita zanu mutatha kupatukana ziyenera kulunjika kwa inu nokha, osati kukumbukira ubale wolephera.
Devaleena akuti, “Musamale, ndipo muzingoganizira za inu nokha. Zosankha zanu zonse ziyenera kukuthandizani kukula kwamalingaliro pamene mukuyesera kuthana ndi kusungulumwa. " Palibe kuyimba moledzera, chonde.
Zimenezo zinali zongoganizira kwambiri, mungangofunika kuphatikizira zina ndikupita nazo kunyumba. Nthabwala padera, khalani ndi zomwe mwawerenga. Chitani izi mwa mphamvu zanu panthawi yanu. Ndine wotsimikiza za mphamvu zawo kuti mumve bwino. Onetsetsani kuti mwatiuza momwe mukuchitira - ndife okondwa kumva kuchokera kwa inu. Simudzakhala osungulumwa ndi Bonobology kuzungulira.
Zinthu 20 Zosangalatsa Zochita Pambuyo pa Kuthetsa Chibwenzi!
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
