Kodi nthawi zonse mumamva ngati mukulephera nthawi zonse, kupangidwa kudzimva ngati sindinu wopanda kanthu, muli pachibwenzi chomwe chimamveka ngati njira imodzi yokha? Ikhoza kukhala nthawi yoti mumvetsere zizindikiro zina zosadziwika bwino za chibwenzi. Zoonadi, zimathandiza nthawi zonse kuzindikira gawo lanu popangitsa kuti ubale wanu ukhale wolimba kapena uwonongeke. Koma nthawi zina, vuto likhoza kukhala la munthu winayo. Kuwona machenjezo owopsa mwa bwenzi lanu sikungakhale kosavuta.
Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mkazi wapoizoni kumatha kukhala chotopetsa komanso chowopsa. Mbali yopusitsa ndi kawopsedwe simawonekera nthawi zonse ngati zinthu zachipongwe, nkhanza, kapena nsanje yopitilira muyeso. Ndiye bwenzi lowopsa ndi chiyani? Kodi chimatanthauza chiyani muubwenzi? Mungadabwe. Nthawi zina, machitidwe owoneka ngati opanda vuto kapena wamba amatha kukhala zizindikiritso za munthu wapoizoni.
Ndicho chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kukumbukira ndi kuzindikira zizindikiro za munthu woopsa m'moyo wanu, makamaka pamene sizikuwoneka ngati zizindikiro zowopsa koma ngati zovuta zazing'ono muubwenzi wanu. Kuti tikuthandizeni kuchita zimenezo, tili pano kuti tikuunikireni za khalidwe loipa la akazi muubwenzi ndi malingaliro ochokera kwa mlangizi Ridhi Golechha (Masters in Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo azakudya ndipo ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa maukwati opanda chikondi, kutha kwa mabanja, ndi nkhani zina zaubwenzi.
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M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Ponena za maubwenzi, pali zinthu zochepa zomwe zimawononga kwambiri kuposa kukhala ndi mnzanu yemwe amabweretsa poizoni ku equation. Poganizira kuti palibe bukhu lamanja kapena maphunziro osokonekera amomwe mungakhalire bwenzi kapena bwenzi loyenera, tonse timatengera zomwe takumana nazo pamoyo wathu kapena zomwe tikuwona kuti tiyende pazovuta za maubwenzi.
Ngati zochitikazi sizili bwino kapena zabwino, poizoni muubwenzi amatha kufalikira. Nthawi zambiri, zimakhala zozama kwambiri kotero kuti sitingathe kuwona zizindikiro zochenjeza za ubale woopsa ngakhale atatiyang'ana pankhope. Mutha kupitiriza chibwenzi ndi mkazi woopsa popanda kuzindikira. Koma mukakhala kuti simuli muubwenzi wabwino, kumverera kwa "chinachake sichili bwino" kungakhale kovuta kusiya. Kumva kuti "chinachake sichili bwino", nthawi zambiri, ndi chizindikiro choyamba cha ubale woopsa.
Njira yothetsera vutoli imayamba ndi kuphunzira kuzindikira ndi kutchula khalidwe lapoizoni. Gawo loyamba munjira iyi ndikuphunzira za zizindikiro za munthu wapoizoni m'moyo wanu kapena tanthauzo la mtsikana woopsa. Mmenemo, muli yankho la funso lanu, "Ndingadziwe bwanji ngati GF yanga ndi poizoni?" Chifukwa chake, ngati mumangokhalira kukankhidwira mbali ina muubwenzi wanu, yang'anirani izi 21 zosadziwikiratu zizindikiro za chibwenzi zomwe zili zowopsa:
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1. Onse perekani, osalandira
Kodi chibwenzi changa chili ndi poizoni, mukufunsa? Yakwana nthawi yoti muganizire zomwe inu ndi mnzanu mumabweretsa. Ridhi akuti chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoyambirira za chibwenzi chanu ndi poizoni ndikuti nthawi zonse mumamva kuti muli pachibwenzi chimodzi. "Muyenera kudzifunsa kuti, "Kodi amabwezera zomwe ndimachita?" Ngati ndi inu nokha mukugwira ntchito yonse yovuta ndipo iye akungolandira koma osapereka, zingakutopetseni."
Msungwana wanu akhoza kuyembekezera zinthu zomwe muyenera kumuchitira komanso chibwenzi chanu. Koma nthawi zonse amalephera kukwaniritsa miyezo yomwe wakuikirani. Chimodzi mwazinthu zodziwika bwino za bwenzi lapoizoni ndikuti samangotsatira malamulo omwe amakupangirani. Khalidwe lachikazi loopsali limatha kuponya ubale wanu kukhala mikangano yosalekeza komanso yosasangalatsa.
2. Kusaona mtima
Kuona mtima ndi gawo lofunikira la ubale uliwonse wabwino. Komabe, chibwenzi chapoizoni sichingakhale chowonekera. Akagwidwa pamalo olimba, amatha kugwiritsa ntchito njira yodzitetezera 'yopanda vuto, yoyera' kuti athetse vutolo. Tiyerekeze kuti akukuuzani kuti ayenera kugwira ntchito Loweruka ndi Lamlungu kuti achoke ndi anzanu. Kenako amapita kukagula zinthu ndi gulu lake la atsikana. Akagwidwa, anganene kuti ananama chifukwa sanafune kumenyana.
Kaya zifukwa zake ndi ziti, dziwani kuti kunama pakati pa okondedwa si chizindikiro chabwino. Kumakula mofulumira kwambiri moti kumakubweretserani mavuto ambiri. Mabodza ndi kusakhulupirika, ngakhale zitakhala zopanda vuto bwanji, ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za munthu woopsa pachibwenzi. Musazisiye.
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3. Zophonya zazing'ono zimamva ngati kutha kwa dziko
Anakufunsani kuti musankhe dry clean ndipo mwaiwala. Ankafuna kupita kumalo odyera enaake kukakumana ndi Tsiku la Valentine koma simunasungitseko nthawi. Ndipo tsopano, izo zagulitsidwa. Ankafuna kuti tiramisu akhale mchere ndipo inu munamupezera chokoleti cha ganache. Kawirikawiri, ma slip-ups awa sizinthu zazikulu kwenikweni. Koma osati mukakhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wapoizoni, yemwe sadziwa kulola kuti tinthu tating'onoting'ono tiyende.
Nthawi zonse amangokhalira kusangalala, kuwononga nthawi yanu limodzi ndikukupangitsani kumva ngati wotayika kwambiri nthawi iliyonse mukalephera kuchita zomwe akufuna kapena "zomwe adafunsidwa". Zosagwirizana ndi izi ndi zina mwa zizindikiro zodetsa nkhawa za chibwenzi chapoizoni chifukwa zimapitilira kukula mwamphamvu komanso pafupipafupi ngati sizikuchitidwa panthawi yoyenera komanso m'njira yoyenera. Mfundo yaikulu ndi yakuti makhalidwe oipa mwa mkazi amakupangitsani kumva ngati simuli bwino. Zotsatira zake, nthawi zonse mudzapeza kuti mukuyenda pazigoba za mazira momuzungulira.
4. Amasunga chigoli chaubwenzi
Kodi ndi poizoni, mukudabwa? Tengani kamphindi kuti muwone ngati bwenzi lanu ali ndi chizolowezi chokwiyira zolakwa zanu zakale kapena ngakhale zing'onozing'ono pamaso panu, kuti mupambane. Ngati ndi choncho, muli ndi yankho lanu. Kusunga khadi laubwenzi - ndipamene mumayang'ana zolakwa za munthu winayo ndipo osaphonya mwayi wowakumbutsa - ndi zina mwazizindikiro kuti ali ndi poizoni.
Simunawonekere ku phwando la kubadwa kwa bwenzi lake zaka zisanu ndi chimodzi zapitazo pamene munangoyamba kumene chibwenzi. Amaonetsetsa kuti akukumbutseni momwe zimamupweteketsa mtima nthawi zonse mukamenyana kapena kusagwirizana. Rob amadzipeza kuti ali kumapeto kwa nzeru zake chifukwa bwenzi lake limakumbukira ndewu ndi mikangano iliyonse yomwe akhala nayo kwazaka zambiri, ndipo amaonetsetsa kuti alembe zonse pakangoyamba kusagwirizana.
Kwa Rob, zikuvuta kunyamula katundu wa mkwiyo wa mnzake ndipo wayamba kuzindikira zizindikiro za chibwenzi chake choopsa. Palibe kukayika kuti kumenyana komweko mobwerezabwereza kungakutopetseni ndikuchotsa chisangalalo muubwenzi wachikondi. Ngati ndi momwe mumamvera paubwenzi wanu, mwina mukuchita chibwenzi ndi mkazi woopsa.
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5. Sanalakwe
Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za mtsikana ndi choyipa ndichakuti kuvomereza kulakwitsa sikumuvuta. Dziwani zimenezo. Kuvomereza kulakwitsa sikumufikira konse. Mwina wakhumudwitsa malingaliro anu, wapitirira malire a ubale , kapena wapanga chimodzi mwa zolakwa zenizeni zomwe akukukakamizani kuti mulipire koma simudzamuona akulandira udindo pa zochita zake.
Ngakhale zili choncho, mawu onga akuti “Pepani”, “Ndazindikira kulakwa kwanga” kapena “Ndikumva chisoni kwambiri ndi kukukhumudwitsani” samangochotsa lilime lake. M’malo mwake, adzapeza njira yodzilungamitsira zochita zake. Ndiyeno mugwiritsire ntchito iye, ziribe kanthu momwe inu mungayesere molimba kuti mumupangitse iye kuwona kulakwa kwa njira zake. Ngati mwakhala mukudabwa kuti ubale wapoizoni ndi wotani, chizoloŵezi ichi chikufotokozera mwachidule. Mamba nthawi zonse amakhala akukomera mnzake wapoizoni. Mwasiyidwa kugwira udzu.
Izi zitha kukupangitsani kutaya yankho la momwe mungathanirane ndi chibwenzi chapoizoni. Chabwino, kuyitanira khasu ndikuyima pansi mutadziwa kuti muli bwino ndi poyambira bwino. Osagonja ndikuyamba kusangalatsa chifukwa chakuti simukufuna kumutaya kapena kuika pachiwopsezo cha nkhondo ina yotopetsa. Kumbukirani kuti ubalewu ulibe mwayi wopulumuka pokhapokha atayesetsa kuphunzira momwe angasiye kukhala bwenzi loyipa.
6. Simungakhale ndi moyo kunja kwa chiyanjano
Khalidwe lachiwopsezo lachikazi limadziwika ndi kukakamira. Malo anu komanso maubwenzi omwe muli nawo kunja kwa ubale wanu wachikondi akhala akugunda kwambiri kuyambira pomwe mudakumana naye ndipo akuyembekeza kuti muzikhala naye nthawi yonse yaulere. Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe bwenzi lanu limakulamulirani ndi chakuti amagwiritsira ntchito kupsa mtima, kukunyengererani, ndewu, ndi kukukomerani kuti akuletseni kuchita zomwe mumakonda.
Kodi mukupita kukacheza ndi anzanu usiku wonse? Pali mkwiyo womwe ukukuyembekezerani. Mukufuna kukhala panyumba ndikuonera masewera? Adzakwiya kosatha ndikukusiyani chete. Mukukonzekera kusangalala ndi Thanksgiving ndi banja lanu? Konzekerani kuzunzidwa ndi misozi yambiri. Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za iye ndichakuti akhoza kukhala chibwenzi chomukakamiza nthawi iliyonse.
Zizindikiro za mkazi wapoizoni pachibwenzi nthawi zambiri zimayamba pang'onopang'ono ndipo zimatha kuwoneka zokongola mu gawo laukwati mukakhala okanthidwa mopanda chiyembekezo kuti muwone mbendera zofiira zomwe zili. Komabe, pang'onopang'ono koma motsimikizika, apeza njira yowongolera mbali iliyonse ya moyo wanu. Ngati nthawi zambiri mukukumana ndi funso, "Ndingadziwe bwanji ngati GF yanga ndi yapoizoni?", Mwina yambani kulabadira kuchuluka kwa malo ndi kudziyimira kwanu komwe muli nawo muubwenzi wanu. Ngati zonse zikusowa, muli ndi yankho lanu.
7. Zosowa zanu sizisamalidwa konse
Kodi ubale wapoizoni ndi chiyani? Ridhi akuti, “Pamene zosoŵa za mnzawo m’modzi—kaya zamaganizo, zakuthupi, zachiyanjano, kapena zandalama—zimanyalanyazidwa nthaŵi zonse ndi kusokonezedwa, ndicho chizindikiro cha unansi woipa wamtunduwu.” Kusokoneza malingaliro anu, zosowa zanu, zokhumba zanu, ndi zoyembekeza zanu ndiyeno kukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu okhumudwa chifukwa chokhala nazo poyamba ndi zina mwa zinthu zomwe zibwenzi zapoizoni amachita.
"Ndi ubale wotsimikizika ngati sakukupangitsani kumva ngati inu kapena zosowa zanu, zomwe mukufuna, ndi zomwe mukufuna ndizofunika. Atsikana oterewa amangopereka zosowa zawo patsogolo popanda kuganizira zomwe mungafune kapena zomwe simungafune. Muzochitika zotere, muyenera kudziwa momwe mungathanirane ndi chibwenzi choopsa. Gawo loyamba pankhaniyi ndikudziyimira nokha, ngakhale atakukwiyirani, kukupatsani chete, kapena kuyambitsa chiwembu," akuwonjezera.
8. Iye amalamulira mbali iliyonse ya moyo wanu
Kuwongolera khalidwe ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zachibwenzi zomwe zingakhale zovuta kuzizindikira chifukwa zimachitika muzovala zachikondi ndi chikondi. Msungwana wapoizoni adzatenga pang'onopang'ono mbali zonse za moyo wanu. Zovala zomwe mumavala, zakudya zomwe mumatsatira, anthu omwe mumacheza nawo, kuchuluka kwa mowa womwe 'mwaloledwa', komanso zosankha zanu zantchito - zonse zimawunikiridwa ndikuvomerezedwa ndi iye.
Aron anali atagwira ntchito yowonetsa usiku wonse ndipo anali wokhumudwa kwambiri m'mawa. Chomwe ankafuna chinali kapu ya khofi wotentha kwambiri, wophikidwa kumene. "Babe, ndingamweko khofi m'malo mwa tiyi ya mandimu ndi ginger m'mawa uno? Ndimangoyang'ana movutikira," adadzipeza akuchonderera chibwenzi chake, akudabwa ndi kusadziletsa pa moyo wake. "Kodi bwenzi langa ndi poizoni?", adadabwa kwa nthawi yoyamba.
Mtsikana wakeyo anavomera monyinyirika koma asanamuphunzitse za kuipa kwa kudalira mankhwala a caffeine. Ngati mukupeza kuti muli ndi udindo wopempha chilolezo kuti muchite chinachake chimene mukufuna, mosakayikira ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zochenjeza za chibwenzi choopsa.
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9. Malamulo osiyanasiyana amagwira ntchito kwa inu ndi iye
Monga tanenera kale, mutha kukhala otsimikiza kuti mukucheza ndi mkazi woopsa ngati sakutsatira malamulo omwewo omwe adakuikirani. Ngati mukufuna zizindikiro zochenjeza za ubale woopsa, uwu sungathe kunyalanyazidwa. Miyezo iwiri yokhudza malamulo ogwirizana pakati pa awiriwa siili ndi malo mu ubale wabwino.
Komabe, mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wapoizoni, mikhalidwe iwiriyi imakhala yokhazikika. Mwachitsanzo, akhoza kukuletsani kukhala ndi abwenzi achikazi koma abwenzi ake amakhalabe gawo la moyo wake. Kapena foni yanu ikhoza kuyesedwa tsiku ndi tsiku koma yake ili kunja kwa malire.
Chimodzi mwazizindikiro zomveka bwino za mkazi wapoizoni ndikuti moyo wanu wasintha mopitilira kudziwika kuyambira pomwe adalowamo koma ake amakhalabe momwemo. Ngati zolemetsa zakusintha ndi kusagwirizana mu ubale zikufika pa inu, simuyenera kudzivutitsa kufunsa kuti ndi ubale wapoizoni. Inu muli m'modzi.
10. Kuchotsa chithandizo chamalingaliro mwadala
Zina mwa zizindikiro zowopsa za chibwenzi ndi chizolowezi chosiya kuthandizidwa mukakhala mukuzifuna kwambiri. Mungafune kutsamira pa iye pambuyo pa tsiku loipa kuntchito kapena kupeza mpumulo ku mkhalidwe wovuta wa m’banja. Mukangofuna kukhalapo kwake mwachikondi, amakhala womasuka komanso wotalikirana naye. Ndi zomwe msungwana wapoizoni amatanthauza pachibwenzi.
Choyipa kwambiri, amayankha monyoza "Ndinakuuzani" - chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe atsikana owopsa amalankhula zikawawa kwambiri. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zodziwikiratu kuti msungwana ali ndi poizoni zomwe zimasokoneza kudzidalira kwanu, ndichifukwa chake simuyenera kuzilola kuti ziwonongeke. Kuthandizana m'maganizo ndiko maziko a maubwenzi achikondi. Kunena zoona, gawo labwino kwambiri lokhala ndi bwenzi. Izi zikasowa, palibenso zambiri zoti tipitirire.
11. Amatsekereza ubwenzi ngati chilango
Nenani kuti mwachitapo kanthu kuti mumukhumudwitse, zomwe zimachitika nthawi zambiri mukakhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wapoizoni. M'malo mokhala moyang'anizana ndi inu ndikulemba momwe zochita zanu zidamupangitsa kumva, amazizira komanso osadzipatula. Makhalidwe awa a chibwenzi chapoizoni amatha kupanga ubale wanu kukhala wosakhazikika m'malo mokhala wachikondi ndi malo otetezeka. Yesani kumufunsa ngati china chake chalakwika, ndipo simupeza china choposa “Palibe kanthu” kapena “Ndili bwino” chifukwa samamvetsetsa kuti mikangano ingathetsedwe mwa kulankhulana bwino.
Izi nthawi zambiri ndi zinthu zomwe atsikana okondana nawo amakuuzani kuti akulepheretseni . Koma chikondi, kaya ndi m'chipinda chogona kapena kunja kwake, chidzatha nthawi yomweyo. M'malo mwake mudzakhala ndi maganizo oipa. Adzapitirizabe kubisa chikondi ngati njira yoti akulangireni mpaka mutadziwa chomwe mwalakwitsa ndikupepesa kwambiri. Musalakwitse, khalidwe loipali ndi mtundu wa nkhanza zamaganizo ndipo likhoza kuwononga thanzi lanu la maganizo ndi thanzi lanu.
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12. Amachita bwino akamakudzudzulani
Inde, okwatirana ali ndi kuyenera kwa kudzudzulana kolimbikitsa. Ndipotu palibe amene ali wangwiro. Mukakhala ndi zokonda za mnzanuyo pamtima, kuwauza pamene akuchita chinachake cholakwika kumabwera ndi gawo. Komabe, pali kusiyana pakati pa kudzudzula kolimbikitsa ndi kukakamira kosalekeza kosalekeza.
Yotsirizirayi ndi yonyansa mwadala ndipo cholinga chake ndi kukhumudwitsa munthu winayo. Kodi chibwenzi choopsa ndi chiyani, mukufunsa? Samalani maganizo ake pa zinthu zomwe sizili zabwino kwambiri za umunthu wanu. Mukawona kudzudzula kosalekeza za zofooka zanu, zodzala ndi kunyodola mowolowa manja ndi mkwiyo, ndi chizindikiro chodziwika bwino chakupha ndipo zikuwonetsa kusalemekezana muubwenzi.
13. Ndinu gwero lokha la chisangalalo chake
Mosiyana ndi zomwe zopeka zachikondi ndi chikhalidwe cha pop zingakupangitseni kukhulupirira, kupanga bwenzi lokondana kukhala chinthu chokhacho chomwe chilipo si chinthu chabwino. Muubwenzi wabwino, wathanzi, okondedwa amathandizana osati kumalizana. Ndi magulu awiri athunthu omwe amalumikizana bwino osati magawo awiri athunthu omwe amafunikira kugwirizana kuti amve kukhala athunthu.
Komabe, khalidwe lachikazi lapoizoni ndilotalikirana ndi lingaliro lathanzi limeneli momwe ndingathere. Ngati wakupangani kukhala chinthu chofunikira kwambiri m'moyo wake, mutha kuchiwona ngati chimodzi mwazizindikiro zachibwenzi. Posapita nthaŵi, iye adzayamba kukukanthani ndi chikondi ndi chisamaliro. Ndipo, ndithudi, yembekezerani inu kuchita chimodzimodzi. Popeza izi zakhala zikuyenda bwino mu maubwenzi kwa nthawi yayitali kwambiri, zingakutengereni kanthawi kuti muzindikire kudalira kwake pa inu ndi chiwonetsero cha makhalidwe oipa mwa mkazi.
Kulephera kukwaniritsa ziyembekezo za ubale umenewu ndi kusakhulupirika m'maso mwake. Kudzazidwa ndi chikondi ndi chikondi mpaka kufika polephera kupuma ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za munthu woopsa m'moyo wanu. Njira yokhayo yomwe mungalekere kudzimva kuti mukulephera mukakhalabe pachibwenzi naye ndi ngati ali wofunitsitsa kuphunzira momwe angasiyire kukhala chibwenzi choopsa. Koma ngati zizindikiro za mkazi woopsa zatiphunzitsa chilichonse, kuthekera kwa iye kuwona zolakwika za njira zake ndikusintha zinthu kuli ngati ma dinosaur akuyenda padziko lapansi kachiwiri.
14. Chikhulupiriro chili pa malo osakhazikika
Chabwino, pamapeto pake. Amaona kufunika koyang'ana foni yanu mobisa, kutsimikizira komwe muli kuchokera kwa ena, ndikufunsani ndikukufunsani mafunso okhudza yemwe mudali naye, kuti, ndi chifukwa chiyani. Ngati mukuyang'ana zizindikiro kuti bwenzi lanu ndi poizoni, zimathandiza kulabadira mbali ya chikhulupiriro mu ubwenzi. Mkazi wapoizoni adzavutika kwambiri kuti akukhulupirireni ndipo mudzamupeza akukayikira nthawi zonse ndikukutsutsani zinthu monga chinyengo ndi bodza.
Ridhi akuti, "Ngati mumadzifunsa kuti, "Kodi ali ndi poizoni?", yang'anani momwe amakudalirani. Ngati nthawi zonse mukuyenera kudzitsimikizira nokha, ichi ndi chizindikiro kuti ali ndi vuto lomwe liyenera kuthetsedwa. Ngati sichinasinthidwe, bwenzi la bwenzi lopanda chitetezo nthawi zambiri limayamba kukhulupirira kuti ayenera kupitiriza kutsimikizira kukhulupirika kwake ndi kufunikira kwake. Izi zingathandize kupeza katswiri.
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15. Zachinsinsi? chinsinsi chanji?
Nthawi zonse muzikumbukira kuti: Kukhala pachibwenzi sikutanthauza kuti mwayamba kukhala moyo ngati mapasa ogwirizana. Kulikonse kumene mungapite, amatsatira. Ndipo mosemphanitsa. Mukakhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wapoizoni, kumverera kolumikizana kumeneku kumakhala zenizeni. Simungathe kukambirana ndi mnzanu mwachinsinsi. Kapena lokani kabati yokhala ndi zinthu zina zanu. Kapena konzekerani ngakhale madzulo amodzi osamukhudza. Pakapita nthawi, izi zimatha kukupangitsani kuti musamamve chisoni, ndipo kukwiya muubwenzi kumayamba kulowa.
Ndicho chimene chinachitikira Jerad ndi Kylie pamene anaganiza zokhala limodzi patatha miyezi isanu ndi umodzi ali paubwenzi wapadera. Kukhala limodzi nthawi yomweyo kunachotsa malo aumwini m'moyo wa Jerad. Kylie anali wolowerera kwambiri — ankawerenga maimelo ake, kumvetsera zokambirana zake ndi abwenzi ndi abale ake, ndi kuyembekezera kuti azikhala ndi mphindi iliyonse ya nthawi yake yopuma ali naye limodzi.
Jared sanawonepo zizindikiro za chibwenzi choopsa ku Kylie pamene anali pachibwenzi koma atangoyamba kukhala pamodzi, mbendera zofiira zinakhala zamphamvu kwambiri kuti zisamanyalanyazidwe. Patatha pafupifupi miyezi itatu akuyesera kuti izi zitheke, Jared sanathenso. Atadya chakudya chamadzulo, anauza Kylie mwaulemu koma molimba mtima kuti, “Uwu wasintha kukhala unansi woipa womwe ukusokoneza mtendere ndi chisangalalo m’moyo wanga. Kylie adadabwa kwambiri kuti asayankhe ndipo Jared adawona uwu ngati mwayi wabwino wotuluka mnyumbamo ndi ubale.
16. Nthawi zonse amapeza njira yake
Kodi mumamva ngati mnzanuyo ali ndi "njira yanga kapena msewu waukulu"? Yakwana nthawi yoti muwone momwe zilili - chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zowoneka bwino za bwenzi lanu kuti ndi wonyenga komanso wowopsa. Amasewera masewera amitundu yonse kuti apeze zomwe akufuna. Chikhale chaching'ono ngati kusankha zomwe mungadye chakudya chamadzulo kapena zosankha zosintha moyo monga kutenga sitepe yotsatira muubwenzi, iye adzapambana nthawi zonse.
Zotsatira zake, mumamva kuti simunamvepo komanso osawoneka muubwenzi. Monga ngati mukukamizidwa ndi njira yomwe simukukonda. Kuphunzira momwe mungachitire ndi chibwenzi chapoizoni kumakhala kovuta kwambiri ndi maubwenzi otere chifukwa umunthu wake wopondereza umakusiyani opanda zida. Mutha kuyika phazi lanu pansi ndikuti 'ayi' koma mawu anu samamveka.
17. O, maganizo akusinthasintha!
Ndi chinthu chimodzi kuti bwenzi lanu azichita zinthu mopanda nzeru kapena osayang'anira momwe amachitira pamene ali ndi PMS kapena akutuluka m'thupi. Monga bwenzi lake, mutha kukhala - kapena muphunzira - kuzindikira ndikuthana ndi magawo osakhalitsa. Komabe, chibwenzi chapoizoni chimasintha kusinthasintha kwamalingaliro kukhala kwatsopano.
Kwa iye, kukwiya kapena kusokonezeka sikumayambitsidwa ndi kukwera mwadzidzidzi kapena kuchepa kwa mahomoni. Ndi khalidwe lake loyambira. Mukangochita chinthu chomwe sakuvomereza kapena kuyamikira, amayamba kukhala ndi maganizo oipa. Ndipo pamapeto pake mumayamba kuyenda mozungulira iye ali ndi maganizo oipa.
M'kupita kwa nthawi, kusagwirizana kumeneku kungayambitse kupsinjika ndi nkhawa mwa mnzanuyo pamapeto olandira. Khalidwe lachikazi lachikazi mu maubwenzi lingathe pang'onopang'ono kuwononganso thanzi lanu. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kwambiri kuwona zizindikiro za bwenzi zomwe zili zowopsa ndikuyika patsogolo kudziteteza.
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18. Sangathe kuchita popanda inu
Atha kukudzudzulani, kumenyana nanu koma sangachite popanda inu. Kukhala pachibwenzi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za poizoni muubwenzi zomwe anthu ambiri amalephera kuzizindikira. Nthawi zambiri amasokonezeka ngati kusonyeza chikondi. “Musandisiye konse, ndifa opanda inu” kapena “Musaganize zondisiyanso chonchi kapena ndikuphani” — ziopsezo ngati izi ndi zinthu zomwe atsikana owopsa amalankhula mwachisawawa.
Zikanenedwa m'mawu osewerera ndi maso a ana agalu, izi zitha kumveka ngati zokondweretsa. Mwinamwake, iye akugwira ntchito kuchokera kumalo achikondi ndi chikondi kwa inu. Ngakhale zili choncho, momwe chibwenzi chapoizoni chimakhalira pachibwenzi sichikhala chathanzi. Pamapeto pake, zimatsogolera ku gulu lanu la anthu kutsika mpaka m'modzi, ndikukusiyani kuti mukhale osungulumwa komanso osokonekera. Ngati mwakhala mukudabwa kuti ubale wapoizoni ndi chiyani, kusowa kwa malo opumira komanso kusowa kwakukulu ndi zitsanzo zamabuku.
19. Amakunena zopweteka;
Chizindikiro china chodziwika bwino cha chibwenzi ndi kufunika komenyana mofatsa ndi kunena zinthu zopweteka mukakangana . Samenyana mwachilungamo ndipo amaukira mwadala zofooka zanu ndi zofooka zanu kuti akuthandizeni kugonja. Zinthu zoipa zomwe okondedwa anu amachita zingasiye chizindikiro chosatha pamaganizo anu, kusintha momwe mumachitira muubwenzi.
Nthawi zonse akamamenyana, Karen ankamutchula mayina achibwenzi ndipo nthawi zonse ankauza chibwenzi chake, Nolan, kuti ndi wolephera. “Tsopano, ukundiuza kuti sungakwanitse ulendo wapamadzi umene ndinkayembekezera.” O Mulungu wanga, Nolan, ndiwe wotayika kwambiri! kapena “Mumachitcha kuti ndi chakudya cham'mawa chokoma kwambiri? Sichidyedwa kwenikweni. kapena "Sindikukhulupirira kuti ndimathamangitsa munthu wotayika ngati iwe, Nolan."
Patapita nthawi, mbali ina ya Nolan inayamba kukhulupirira kuti iye anali 'wotayika' wopanda pake ndipo kudzidalira kwake kunagunda kwambiri. Izi sizachilendo mukakhala ndi munthu wapoizoni m'moyo wanu. Popeza kuti kugwiritsira ntchito mawu opweteka sikuli kosiyana koma ndiko chizolowezi, kungayambe kusokoneza kudzidalira kwanu ndi kudzimva kwanu m’kupita kwa nthaŵi.
20. Amangokhalira kukakamira
Yankho losavuta ku funso lakuti, "Ndingadziwe bwanji ngati GF yanga ndi poizoni?", Ndikuti nthawi zonse amakhala ndi chiopsezo chothyola ngati lupanga pamutu pako. Chitani izi kapena ayi. Osachita izi kapena ayi… Izi zitha kukupangitsani kumva ngati kuti akufuna kukhala wosakwatiwa. Kapena osakhala pachibwenzi ndi inu. Mwina ndi zoona, n’chifukwa chake amakonda kunena zinthu zongoganiza kuti zinthu sizikuyenda bwino.
Nenani, simunathe kumupatsa nthawi chifukwa cha ntchito kapena ntchito zina. M’malo molankhula nanu za nkhaniyi, iye akulengeza kuti: “Sindingathe kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu amene sakhalapo nthaŵi zonse.” Kuwopseza kotereku ndi njira yokuthandizani kuti muwombole ndikumutsatira, komanso chimodzi mwazizindikiro zapamwamba za chibwenzi chapoizoni chomwe chimakukakamizani kuti muchite zomwe akufuna.
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21. Sakuyamikani
Kuyamikiridwa ndi kuyamikira ndi ziwiri mwa zinthu zocheperapo kwambiri za ubale. Nthawi zambiri, pamene anthu awiri okwatirana amakhala omasuka wina ndi mzake, amayamba kutenga zinthu zazing'ono zazing'ono za tsiku ndi tsiku mosasamala. Ngakhale zili choncho, anthu okwatirana amene ali ndi maubwenzi abwino amayesetsa kuti wina ndi mnzake amayamikiridwa komanso kuti azikondedwa poyesetsa kupewa msampha umene ‘anauona mopepuka.
Kumbali inayi, chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za bwenzi lowopsa ndi kusayamika konse. Ngakhale mutachita mopambanitsa kuti adzimve kukhala wapadera, sizingakhale zabwino kwa iye kapena angakhulupirire kuti uwu ndiwo mtundu wa chithandizo chimene ayenera kulandira. Mtsikana wapoizoni amachita zinthu mwanzeru kotero kuti zimakuchititsani kudabwa ngati mungakhale wabwino kwa iye.
Ridhi akuti, "Zibwenzi zapoizoni zimasokoneza. Zili ngati masewera omwe mnzanuyo nthawi zonse amafuna kuthamangitsidwa, mudzamukondweretsa, ndipo pali malingaliro a endorphin osakhalitsa ndi chikondi chapamwamba, (ichi ndi gawo lomwe limapangitsa kuti tipitirizebe kupitirizabe) ... mpaka kugwa pansi komwe mumapanga cholakwika chimodzi ndipo amakhumudwa.
"Chotero, masewerawa amabwerezedwa ndipo mumakhala ndi chizolowezi." Kuti muchoke m'njira imeneyi, zindikirani zizindikiro zaubwenzi woopsa. Kenako, pangani malire anu. Kukumana ndi kugwira ntchito ndi katswiri kungakhale kothandiza kwambiri pophunzira kuthana ndi kapena kuchoka kwa munthu wapoizoni.
Kuzindikira khalidwe loipa la akazi muubwenzi ndikuphunzira kudziika patsogolo si ulendo wophweka. Kukhala ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo pafupi nanu kungakuthandizeni kuti muzitha kuyenda mosavuta paulendo wovutawu ndikutuluka mbali ina popanda kuvulala momwe mungathere. Ngati mukufuna thandizo, alangizi aluso komanso ovomerezeka a Bonobology's panel ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.
Ibibazo
Mtsikana wapoizoni ndi munthu yemwe amakupangitsani kumva ngati mukulephera, kupangidwa kuti muzidzimva ngati mulibe kanthu, muli pachibwenzi chomwe chimamveka ngati njira imodzi.
Kunena zowona, muyenera kuphunzira kuzindikira zina mwa zizindikiro zosaoneka bwino za kawopsedwe. Kuopsa sikumawonekera nthawi zonse ngati zosokoneza, monga chizolowezi chozunza, kuchita zinthu monyanyira kapena nsanje yopitilira muyeso. Nthawi zina, machitidwe owoneka ngati opanda vuto kapena wamba amatha kukhala zizindikiritso za munthu wapoizoni.
Ngati bwenzi lanu nthawi zonse amayesa kukulamulirani, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti muli pachibwenzi ndi munthu wapoizoni.
Yang'anani momwe amakuchitirani inu ndi ubale wanu. Ngati zikuoneka kuti iye ndiye akutsogolera ndipo inu mukungotsatira - m'malo mokhala anthu awiri ofanana - ndiye chizindikiro chachikulu kwambiri muubwenzi. Kusakhulupirirana , kutsutsidwa kosalekeza, ndewu zosalekeza ndi mikangano ndi zina mwa zina.
Akhoza kukukondani koma pokhapokha ataphunzira kuswa machitidwe ake oopsa ndipo mutaphunzira kudziyimira nokha, simungathe kumanga ubale wabwino. Chikondi chanu kwa wina ndi mzake ngakhale.
Zizindikiro 13 Zoti Mudziwe Ngati Ubale Ndi Wofunika Kupulumutsidwa
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
