Sithatha Isikhathi Esingakanani I-Honeymoon?

Uke waqaphela yini ukuthi lapho ubuhlobo bungena emanzini anezinkathazo, abantu bakhumbula izinsuku zabo zokuqala zothando? “Ubeyisithandwa sami ngesikhathi siqala ukuphuma, ubenginakekela kahle. "Ngesikhathi siqala ukuphuma, wayecabanga futhi enakekela. Ngifisa sengathi ngingayithola le nguqulo yakhe." Ngolimi lobudlelwano, lezo zinsuku ezimnandi sizibiza ngesigaba se-honeymoon noma isigaba sekhekhe. Uma kubhekwa ukuthi yonke into ibonakala ikhanya futhi iyinhle kangakanani, kungokwemvelo ukuzibuza, “Isigaba se-honeymoon sithatha isikhathi esingakanani?” 

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usonqenqemeni lobudlelwano obusha noma ubambiswano lwakho lwamanje akuzwakali njengombhede wama-roses owake waba ngawo, ukuqaphela okwenzekayo lapho isikhathi se-honeymoon siphela kungakusiza uzulazule ezigabeni ezihlukene zokuthandana kangcono kancane. Ngakho-ke, thatha ikhofi lakho futhi uhlale uqinile njengoba sizokunikeza wonke amayadi ayisishiyagalolunye esiqephu se-honeymoon nengxenye yalokho okuza ngemva kwesigaba se-honeymoon ebuhlotsheni.

Siyini Isigaba Se-Honeymoon Sobudlelwano?

Isigaba se-honeymoon sibhekisela kakhulu ukuqala kobudlelwano obusha lapho umbhangqwana ubhekene nesimo esijabulisayo sokushisekela okukhulu, uthando, nokukhangwa ngokomzimba. Ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho uvuka, ulokhu ucabanga ngalo muntu okhethekile. Uzizwa usothandweni kangangokuthi awukwazi ukuyeka ukumamatheka ngokuzenzakalelayo. Inhliziyo iyagijima lapho ubabona futhi ukhanya njengokhanyikhanyi abayisigidi!

Yileso sigaba sokuthandana lapho uthanda kakhulu ukulwa kancane; kuyisigaba sezinsuku zothando ezingenakubalwa nezingxoxo ezingapheli. Ukuchitha isikhathi esihle nobae kuba yinto ehamba phambili yakho. Ingasaphathwa eyezinhlansi zocansi zindizela phezulu esigabeni se-honeymoon sobudlelwano. Anikwazi nokuvala izandla zenu komunye nomunye. 

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Phakathi nalezi zinsuku zakuqala, nobabili nihlala niziphatha kahle kakhulu. Kusukela ekushintsheni ikhabethe lakho lokugqoka kanye nokuthenga izipho ezibizayo ukuya ekuhlaleni ubusuku bonke ukuze uxoxe, ungaya kunoma yiliphi izinga ukuze wenze lo muntu akuthande nakakhulu. Ezinyangeni ezimbalwa zokuqala, ubheka umlingani wakho omusha ngezibuko ezinemibala ebomvu ezibonisa ukumangala nokuncoma. Kukushiya ulaliswe ubumnandi babo. Akukho okubi abangakwenza, abakwazi ukusho into embi. Imibhangqwana eminingi ayiboni noma yimaphi amafulegi abomvu kuze kube yilapho ihlola enye eyinkimbinkimbi izigaba zokungena othandweni.

Sithatha Isikhathi Esingakanani I-Honeymoon?

Manje, sekuyisikhathi sokukhuluma nendlovu ekamelweni – side kangakanani isigaba se-honeymoon ebudlelwaneni? Okubaluleke nakakhulu, ingabe isigaba se-honeymoon singahlala unomphela? Hhayi-ke, njengoba ufuna ukubambelela kuma-tête-à-têtes othando kanye ne ubulili obuthandekayo, isigaba sekhekhe ukugibela okujabulisayo okufika esiphethweni nakanjani.

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Ukuze uthole impendulo yokuthi, Isigaba se-honeymoon sithatha isikhathi esingakanani, kufanele uqonde ukuthi lokhu kuthakazelisa, ukujabula, wona kanye umuzwa 'wothando'—konke kuwumphumela nje wokuhlangana kwamakhemikhali okuthile ebuchosheni bethu. Ake sihlole idatha yocwaningo:

• Ngokombiko othile cwaningo, ukondliwa kothando lothando kuhlotshaniswa nokusebenza kwe-dopamine kanye nezifunda zobuchopho ezinothe nge-oxytocin
• Enye esihlokweni eshicilelwe ku Isayensi yaseMelika ikhuluma ngocwaningo oluveza ukuthi abantu abasanda kuthandana banezinga eliphezulu lokukhula kwemizwa kunalabo abangashadile noma abathandana nabo isikhathi eside. Amaphuzu aphezulu e-NGF aphakamisa imizwelo eyengeziwe yenjabulo nokunamathiselwe kumuntu. Okujabulisayo ukuthi umehluko wezinga le-NGF kanye ne-cortisol phakathi kwala maqembu amabili wehla phakathi nezinyanga eziyi-12-24.
• Njengoba kukhulunywe naye Isayensi yaseMelika kaGary W. Lewandowski, Jr., isekela likaprofesa wezengqondo eMonmouth University, “Lokhu okutholakele kusikisela ukuthi uthando lothando luyinto evusa inkanuko kodwa ecindezelayo.

Futhi leso ngesinye sezizathu ezinkulu ukuthi isikhathi se-honeymoon siphela ekugcineni. Ngakho-ke, isikhathi esingakanani isigaba se-honeymoon ebudlelwaneni? Lokho kuyahlukahluka kuye kwabashadikazi njengoba bonke ubudlelwano buthuthuka ngejubane labo. Nakuba kuyivelakancane, eminye imibhangqwana ingase iphendule ngokuqinisekisayo embuzweni othi, ingabe isigaba se-honeymoon singahlala phakade? Lokho futhi, ngemva iminyaka engamashumi amathathu nane yomshado wabo.

Okuhlukile eceleni, ngokujwayelekile, isigaba se-honeymoon sobudlelwano singahlala noma kuphi ukusuka emavikini ambalwa kuya ezinyangeni ezimbalwa noma kuze kufike onyakeni. Ngokusho kwe-2015 cwaningo, isikhathi se-honeymoon singahlala kusukela ezinyangeni eziyisithupha kuya cishe eminyakeni engu-2.5. Kodwa abantu abaningi abakwazi ukugcina inhlansi iphila ngemva kwezigaba zakuqala futhi lokho kuyinto evamile ngokuphelele. Akuyona neze inkomba yokuthi awukho ebudlelwaneni obujabulisayo nobunempilo. 

Ungabona kanjani ukuthi isigaba se-honeymoon siphelile?

Ayikho indlela yokubikezela ukuthi isigaba se-honeymoon sithatha isikhathi esingakanani. Futhi uma usibuza, akufanele uhlale ukubhekile futhi. Kuzolimaza kuphela umlingo omsulwa wesigaba se-honeymoon sobudlelwano. Inqobo nje uma ungathanda ukulwa okuningi kancane, futhi ujabulele ukusondelana ngokomzimba okukhulu, zazisa lesi sipelingi senjabulo empilweni yakho. Kodwa-ke, uma uqala ukuzwa sengathi kukhona okungahambi kahle phakathi kwakho no-bae wakho, mhlawumbe kungenxa yokuthi ibhamuza elifushane nelimnandi lesigaba sekhekhe liyavela ekugcineni. Nazi izimpawu ezimbalwa zokuqaphela lokho isigaba se-honeymoon siphelile:

• Njengoba izibuko zakho ezinemibala egqamile ziphuma, manje usubona umlingani wakho ngendlela engokoqobo okwenza izici zakhe ezimbi nemikhuba ecasulayo igqame kakhulu. 
• Ngemuva kokwehla kwe-dopamine, imisebenzi ejwayelekile efana nokubuka ifilimu ndawonye noma ukuhambahamba obekuzwakala kujabulisa kakhulu kudala kube yinto evamile.
• Phakathi nesigaba sangemva kwe-honeymoon, uqala ukubona amafulegi abomvu obudlelwane, okuthi, uthanda noma ungathandi, okuholela ekungavumelani okwengeziwe nezingxabano. 
• Impilo yakho yezocansi nayo iyathinteka kulesi sigaba sokuqomisana. Ukukhanga okuvuthayo okungokomzimba kwezigaba zokuqala kuphuma kancane kancane
• Unciphisa ku- isikhathi esihle enisichitha ndawonye. Ukungahlangani nsuku zonke kuba yinto evamile 
• Ngemuva kwesikhathi sokuthatheka, uyeka ukuzenza imiphefumulo emsulwa futhi ninethezeke ngokwanele ukuthi nibonane kuma-PJs akho nezinwele ezingcolile noma mhlawumbe nisebenzise igama eliyinhlamba noma amabili phambi kwawo.

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Yini Eza Ngemva Kwesigaba Se-Honeymoon Ebudlelwaneni?

Manje njengoba sesinombono oqondile wokuthi isikhathi se-honeymoon sithatha isikhathi esingakanani ebudlelwaneni ake sihlaziye lokho okuza ngemuva kwesigaba se-honeymoon ebudlelwaneni. Okokuqala, kufanele uqaphele ukuthi lesi yisigaba nje sokuthandana, hhayi ipharamitha yemizwa yakho ngomunye nomunye. Isigaba se-honeymoon sibuna asilingani ukuphuma othandweni nomuntu wakho.

Akukona ukuphela kwezwe; usanda kudlulela endaweni elandelayo ezigabeni zokuthandana. Uma ukhathazekile ngohlobo lwekusasa ongalilindela nozakwenu, ake sikuhambise ezingxenyeni ezihlukene zokunamathisela ezilandela isigaba se-honeymoon sobudlelwano:

1. Ukudumazeka 

Isigaba esilandelayo osingenelayo siletha zonke izinhlobo zokungazethembi, ukungaqiniseki, nokuhlola izinto zangempela. Kungazelelwe kukhona into eqala ukuzwakala ebudlelwaneni bakho. Umlingani wakho uphuma esisekelweni omfake kuso futhi umbona njengoba enjalo ngempela.  

Uma umlingani oyedwa ephethe kakhulu, ephethe ngokweqile, noma ngokomzwelo izinyathelo ezimbalwa ngemuva komunye, kuzodala umbango wamandla phakathi kwabo. Ngomuntu oyedwa ophethe noma engatholakali ngokomzwelo, omunye uzakwethu uzongabaza ukuhambisana kwabo, azizwe engavikelekile ngaso kanye isisekelo sobudlelwano, futhi angabaze noma imaphi amathuba enjabulo yesikhathi esizayo omunye nomunye. 

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Indlela yokuzulazula esigabeni sokudumazeka

Ukudlula esigabeni sokuphoxeka kuyingxenye enzima kakhulu kuyo yonke imibhangqwana. Ngokuphazamisa okuncane, ungase uzizwe unesifiso sokuqeda izinto ngokuhle. Kodwa sinamaqhinga ambalwa okuthi wena umelane nesivunguvungu futhi uphume kuso uqine njengombhangqwana:

• Khumbula ukuma unganyakazi ngenkathi wenza indawo yezinguquko 
• Udinga ukwenza umzamo oqotho wokwamukela umehluko futhi uhloniphe ubuntu bomlingani wakho 
• Ukuxhumana okuvulekile kuhlale kuyisixazululo esingcono kakhulu sokuqinisekisa izidingo zakho nokuqonda omunye nomunye okulindelwe kulobu budlelwano
• Bobabili ozakwethu badinga ukuba sesikebheni ngokulinganayo kulolu hambo ukuze bakhe ubudlelwano obunempilo
• Yebo, kufanele uzame kanzima ukuze udlule kulesi sigaba kodwa ungalokothi uyeke amanani akho nemingcele futhi wehlise izinto okungaxoxiswana ngazo. 

2. Okunamathiselwe 

Yebo, ukugcina inhlansi iphila kungase kubonakale kuwumsebenzi onzima manje. Kodwa okuza ngemuva kwesigaba se-honeymoon ebuhlotsheni kunomvuzo omkhulu kunobumnandi obusafufusa bothando. Esigabeni sokunamathiselwe, uhlangabezana nakho ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo nokuba sengozini futhi nikwazi ukubona ubuqiniso bomunye nomunye. Kukulesi sigaba lapho bobabili abalingani baqala ukuncika komunye nomunye. Bakha ukwethembana futhi baqoqe ukuzimisela okungantengantengi ukuze bahlale ndawonye, ​​kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani. 

Ungazulazula kanjani esigabeni sokunamathiselwe

Ubudlelwano bakho abukabhidlizi okwamanje. Njengoba nitholana ngenye indlela, kusenokuningi okumangalisayo, ukudumala, ukudabuka, nokukhungatheka okulindelwe. Izinselele ezintsha zizovuleka zonke izinsuku. Impilo yobudlelwano bakho incike ekutheni uyisingatha kanjani yonke le mizwa futhi usebenze ngendlela yakho kuze kufike ebudlelwaneni obuzibophezele. Nakhu esikuphakamisayo:

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• Leli yithuba lakho lokwazi umlingani wakho ezingeni elijulile. Ngakho chitha isikhathi nabo ngangokunokwenzeka
• Ungakuxwayi ukuba sengozini phambi kwabo
• Fundani futhi nivume ukungazethembi komunye nomunye, izibazi, nemicabango emnyama kakhulu. Kuyisakhiwo esibalulekile sesibopho esiqinile somzwelo
• Yiba nentshisekelo kulokho umlingani wakho akuthandayo. Zama ukuhlaziya izinto ngombono wazo. Ukundiza uwedwa akulona uphawu lobudlelwano obunempilo. Kufanele ube ngumdlali weqembu
• Ungashaneli izinkinga zakho ngaphansi kwengubo. Ukuze uthole ubambiswano oluzinzile, gcina indlela egxile kwisixazululo ukuxazulula izingxabano

3. Ukubambisana okuzinzile

Uyakhumbula ukuthi siyiqale kanjani le ngxoxo? Ingabe isigaba se-honeymoon singahlala unomphela? Ngicabanga ukuthi uzovuma ukuthi njengoba sonke sinezimpande zothando lwenganekwane lungapheli, lesi sigaba sokugcina sokuqomisana siwumgomo wethu wokugcina. Ngemva kokuntanta emanzini anezinkathazo isikhathi eside kangaka ekugcineni ufinyelela esimweni esizolile, esizinzile. 

Azisekho izimanga ezisele; aninalutho eningafihlelana lona. Ndawonye nidale isidleke esiphephile sokukhulisa uthando lwenu. Uthola umuzwa wokunethezeka nokuvikeleka enkampanini yomunye nomunye. Ukuthatha ikhefu nomlingani wakho njengokungathi behamba ndawonye noma ukuthembisana umshado kubonakala kungenzeka kakhulu ngalesi sikhathi. Nakulokhu futhi, uthanda ukulwa kakhulu kancane!

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Ungazulazula kanjani ubambiswano oluzinzile

Okokuqala, kushayelwa ihlombe elikhulu kuwe nozakwenu ngokwenza lokhu kuze kube manje. Siyabona ukuthi awuhlukaniseki. Kodwa uthando lufana nekhayithi elizophuma ekubambeni uma unganakile ngisho isikhashana nje. Njengoba sonke sifuna isiphetho senganekwane ngobudlelwano bakho, nazi izinkomba ezimbalwa ongazenza qinisa isibopho nomlingani wakho:

• Ungavumeli uthando lwakho lucwile ngaphansi kwezindleko zegrosa nezethulo zasehhovisi. Ukuze ugcine inhlansi iphila, qhubekani nithandana, chithani isikhathi esiseqophelweni eliphezulu, nizilethele izimbali, hlelani lezimanga, hambani niye eholidini 
• Uma usuzithela ngabandayo ebudlelwaneni, ujwayele ukuthathana kalula. Ukuze ungaphendukeli kulowo mlingani okude, ozidlayo, bonisa ukubonga kwakho, umtshele ukuthi umthanda kangakanani okungenani kanye nsuku zonke, futhi njalo uzama ukuba yiqiniso emazwini akho.
• Kwazise ukuzibophezela enikwenzile komunye nomunye. Ngaphandle kokwethembeka nokungafihli lutho, isisekelo sonke singabhidlika njengendlu yamakhadi 
• Kweminye imibhangqwana, ukukhangwa ngokomzimba kungase kube yindlala ngemva kokufinyelela kuleli qophelo. Ziningi izindlela zokwenza izinongo ekamelweni lokulala - kusuka phezulu kwekhanda lami, umdlalo?

Imicabango Final 

Manje njengoba usunempendulo yokuthi, isigaba se-honeymoon sithatha isikhathi esingakanani, Noma ingabe usukulungele ukuhlola uhambo oluzayo ngesandla nesithandwa sakho? Yebo, izigaba zokuqala zihamba kalula. Kukhona injabulo, ukulangazela, kanye nokukhanga kazibuthe okudla konke okukugcina unamathele kumlingani wakho. Futhi lokho kusebenza njengesisekelo sobudlelwano. 

Uma sekushiwo lokho, asikho isidingo sokuzizwa uthuswa ubunzima obungaba khona benkathi yangemva kwe-honeymoon. Phatha ukuphela kwezinsuku zakho ze-honeymoon njengesiqalo esisha, esigcwele amathuba. Noma ngabe ukusiphi isigaba sobudlelwano, okubalulekile ukuthi nibalule ubukhona bomunye nomunye ezimpilweni zenu, nihloniphe ubuntu bomunye nomunye futhi nigcine uthando lwenu luphila ingunaphakade.

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