Izinto Eziyisi-7 Okufanele Uzenze Uma Uphelelwa Othandweni Nomyeni Wakho

Ubudlelwano buyakhohlisa. Ngaphambi kokuthi uqaphele, ubuhlobo obuvame ukukunika izimvemvane esiswini sakho buba yithambo elinamathele emphinjeni wakho. Njengoba kancane kancane uzithola usuphelelwa wuthando emshadweni, usala uzibuza lo mbuzo: “Yini okufanele uyenze uma usuphelelwe uthando nomyeni wakho?” Izinto zingaba muncu ngempela njengoba ulwa nesivunguvungu semizwa okunzima ukuyicisha.

Bonke ubudlelwano buwumphumela wemizamo nesikhathi esinikezelwe emizweni ejulile; imizwa ngokuvamile okulindeleke ukuba ihlale impilo yonke. Ukwakhiwa komphakathi kungase kukuholele ekucabangeni, "Ukuphuma othandweni ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside? Ingabe kungenzeka lokho? Futhi uzibona kanjani izimpawu zokuthi awusathandani nomyeni wakho?" Nakuba ukudlula ezikhathini ezinzima kuyinto ezenzakalelayo kunoma yimuphi umbhangqwana, ukuphuma othandweni ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside kuyinto okungakaze kukhulunywe ngayo noma ngisho nokuqashelwa futhi kuvunywe. Kodwa sithembe, awuwedwa. Ingokoqobo futhi ijwayelekile.

Ukubhekana nobudlelwano obunjalo obulahlekelwe uthando nentshiseko akulula. Ngenkathi uzama ukubhekana nezinguquko emizweni yakho, usazulazula njenge-pendulum phakathi kokuhlala nokuhlukanisa.

Kodwa ngaphambi kokuthi uthathe ucingo, wazi kanjani ukuthi awusathandani nomyeni wakho? Yiziphi izimpawu? Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, yini okufanele uyenze lapho uphelelwa uthando nomyeni wakho? Ake sizame ukuthola impendulo yakho konke lokhu, nokunye okwengeziwe, kanye nomqeqeshi wethu wezempilo kanye nomeluleki Joie Bose, ogxile ekwelulekeni abantu ababhekene nemishado ehlukumezayo, ukuhlukana nokujola.

Ngaphambi kokudlulela kusiqondiso sakhe namathiphu okusinda ekuphumeni othandweni emshadweni, sizojula esihlokweni ukuze sisiqonde kangcono.

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Kokubili ukuthandana nokuphuma othandweni kuyimizwa engaphezu kwamandla omuntu. Ungase ucabange ukuthi “Nginguye ukungena othandweni ngokushesha okukhuluNgokuhamba kwesikhathi, kungase kuzwakale sengathi “angisamthandi” futhi, kungekho myalelo enhliziyweni yakho.” Kungokwemvelo ngempela ukuzwa uthando luphela kancane kancane.

Ukuphuma othandweni emshadweni akuyona into embi. Kungokwemvelo ukukhula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kunezigaba ezahlukene ebudlelwaneni lapho imizwa ingase ibhekane noshintsho olwandle. Ngezinye izikhathi, ungabona ukuthi, “Umyeni wami akangenzeli lutho, sengiqedile ngaye!” Kodwa ekugcineni, awukwazi ukuzibamba kodwa ukuwela kuye ngokuphindaphindiwe.

Njengoba uJoie ephawula, “Akekho umuntu ongake aphelelwe uthando ngothile. Ngakho-ke ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho uzwa sengathi usuphelelwe uthando nomyeni wakho, empeleni luyancipha esikhundleni sokuncipha. Yisimo sakho samanje esikwenza uzizwe sengathi uthando lwakho luyaphela.

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Yiziphi Izimpawu Zokuhlukana Nomyeni Wakho?

Bonke ubudlelwano bubhekana nezinxushunxushu. Okubalulekile ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngomlingani wakho nokuthi imizwa yakho izwakala kanjani ngalezo zikhathi ezinzima. Wonke ama-tiff angeke athathwe asho ukuphela kobudlelwane. Yonke ingxabano ayisikiseli ukuthi umyeni wakho akasakuthandi.

Wazi kanjani ukuthi awusathandani nomyeni wakho? Ukuwa othandweni ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside kuyinqubo ehamba kancane. Akuyona into esheshayo noma eyesikhashana. Kunezibonakaliso eziningi ezingakusikisela kuwe umshado uyabhidlika. Lokhu kusiletha futhi embuzweni olandelayo - Yini okufanele uyenze uma usuphelelwe uthando nomyeni wakho? Ingabe uthambekele odabeni noma uzama ukuhlukana nomshado? Ake sizame ukuthola ukuqonda ngesihloko kuJoie.

1. Awusenandaba naye

“Uphawu lokuqala luwukuthi,” kuphawula uJoie, “uqala ukungabi nandaba ngempela nokuthi kwenzekani kumuntu - okuhle noma okubi.” Awusenandaba nenhlalakahle yakhe. Nakuba uthando luhlala luhlotshaniswa ne-TLC eningi (ukunakekelwa kothando kwethenda), uyazi ukuthi uphelelwe uthando nomyeni wakho kuyilapho singekho isimo sokunakekela sangaphambili. UJoie uyaqhubeka, “Okukuphela kwakho okukukhathazayo ukuthi isenzakalo esithile ekuphileni kwakhe singadinga isinyathelo esivela ekugcineni kwakho noma cha. Imizwa yakho ngaye ikwenza uphume lapho uphenduka uzimele futhi ubanda.

2. Kunezinkinga zokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni

Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo sabo bonke ubuhlobo. Ivala ibanga phakathi kwabantu ababili futhi ibasondeze. UJoie ubheka izikhala zokuxhumana ezikhulayo njengesinye isici esibalulekile esibonisa uthando olunciphayo. Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana kuyinkomba yokuntenga ebudlelwaneni. Anisenazo izingxoxo ezibalulekile nomunye nomunye. Ufuna amakhono okulalela. Awusabuzi imibuzo ethokozisayo ukuqondana kangcono. Lolu wuphawu lokuthi awusathandani nomyeni wakho.

3. Awusamcabangeli umuntu wakho

Lena iyazichaza. U-Joie uphakamisa ukuthi uzibuze, “Lapho usondelana, ingabe uhlale uphupha noma ucabanga ngabanye abantu?” Uma impendulo yakho kulokhu iqinisekisa futhi uma, ngesikhathi socansi, ucabanga ukuthi, “angisamthandi”, lokhu kuyinkomba ecacile yothando olufiphalayo. Akasesona isithakazelo sakho sothando. Noma usegoneni lakhe, unomunye umuntu engqondweni yakho. Imishado enzima ivame ukuthola uthando ngaphandle kwayo. Kulokhu, ukugxila kothando lwakho kushintsha isisekelo sakho futhi kuthole ukwesekwa komunye umuntu. Noma, ngisho noma ungakhangwa noma ungathandani nomunye umuntu, ngokuqinisekile uphelelwe uthando nomyeni wakho.

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4. Ujabule kakhulu ukude nomlingani wakho

Wazi kanjani ukuthi awusathandani nomyeni wakho? Isikhathi esihle esichithwa ndawonye nomyeni wakho manje sizwakala njengomthwalo. Awusakujabuleli ukuba senkampanini efanayo. Uthando ngokuvamile lumayelana nokwabelana izikhathi, imizwa, nolwazi ndawonye. Uma uxwaya ukwenza lokhu, uyazi ukuthi uphelelwa uthando emshadweni. UJoie uyanezela ngokungagwegwesi, “Uma nihlele ukuya endaweni ethile noma nenze okuthile ndawonye futhi ehlehla ngesizathu esithile, uzizwa ujabule futhi ukhululekile.” Ngale ndlela uyazi ukuthi awusathandani nalowo muntu.

5. Isimo sakho sengqondo ngomyeni wakho siyashintsha

Uthola umaqondana wakho ecasula. Uzizwa, “Umyeni wami akangenzeli lutho”. Uzenza ungatholakali kuye, ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo. Akukukhathazi neze ukuthi ucabangani uma ungamnaki. Njengoba umuzwa wokuhlukana ujula, imizwa yakho iyahoxa kuye. Nakanjani uphelelwe uthando nomyeni wakho uma isimo sakho sengqondo kuye sishintsha, kube kubi kakhulu. Ingubo yokunganaki ifihla izimpawu ezithile ezingathi sína zokuphela kobudlelwano bakho besikhathi eside.

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Izinto Eziyisi-7 Okufanele Uzenze Uma Uphelelwa Othandweni Nomyeni Wakho

Ingxoxo engenhla ibeka obala izimpawu zokuthi awusathandani nomyeni wakho. Ngokubona lezi zimpawu, ukala uthando lwakho olunciphayo ngomlingani wakho. Kodwa yini okufanele uyenze manje? Umbuzo wesigidi samadola obhekene nawo manje uthi - yini okumele uyenze uma usuphelelwe wuthando nomyeni wakho? Ungathatha ukukhetha kwakho ekuvuseleleni uthando lwakho olulahlekile noma ukuhlukana, kokubili okungelula njengoba kungase kubonakale ekuqaleni.

Uma unquma ukukwenza dala ubudlelwano obulingene nomyeni wakho, kufanele uthole izindlela zokuhlehla futhi usindise ubuhlobo bakho obufayo. Okubalulekile lapha yimizamo nentshisekelo efanayo. Ubudlelwano bungavuswa kuphela uma bobabili ozakwethu betshalwe ngokulinganayo embangweni. Uthando oluhlangothini olulodwa alukwazi ukusinda ukuze luhlenge noma yibuphi ubuhlobo. Ake sibheke ukuthi yimaphi amathiphu u-Joie onguchwepheshe okufanele abelane ngawo.

1. Khumbula izikhathi ezimnandi zakudala

Bonke ubudlelwano budlula esigabeni se-honeymoon lapho izinyoni zothando eziphuphayo zingakwazi ukutholana okwanele. Cabanga ngalezo zikhathi futhi uzindle ngokuthi yini owawuyenza ngendlela ehlukile ngaleso sikhathi? Mhlawumbe uzodla ngaphandle noma ubusuku obujwayelekile? Vuselela leyo nhlansi enhliziyweni yakho. Thatha inkambo yethu uhlu lwemibono yasebusuku futhi niphinde nithandane. Hamba uyozihambela. Dansa inhliziyo yakho (naye, kunjalo). Jabulela izinjabulo zokuphila kanye naye.

UJoie uyasikisela, “Yenzani izinto ezivamile ezimbalwa ndawonye njengokushayela, idina, amaholide, nokwenza izinkumbulo.” Ukuba ndawonye kuyokusiza ukuba nisondelane kangcono. Nakuba kungase kube nzima ekuqaleni, khumbula izikhathi zakudala lapho wawukhanda phezu kwezithende zakhe. Ungase uqhubeke uzizwa uphelelwe uthando nomyeni wakho, kodwa iqhinga liwukunqoba futhi ungawunaki lowo muzwa. Kanye, buyela emuva futhi ube umbhangqwana ofanayo osanda kushada owake waba ngawo. Ngohlanya futhi othandweni.

2. Yazisani futhi nihloniphane

Yini okufanele uyenze uma uphelelwa uthando nomyeni wakho? Nizama ngokuqaphela ukwazisa nokuhloniphana. Asikho isikebhe sothando esingasinda emanzini aneziyaluyalu ngaphandle kwamahange enhlonipho, ukwethembana nokholo. Bambelela kula mahange. Njengoba amagagasi ashaya ogwini ehlehla, kanjalo nokunganaki kwakho nokubaba kuzokwehla kuye. Ukuhloniphana ebudlelwaneni kwakha isisekelo esiqinile.

Sonke sinamaphutha ethu. Futhi kufanele sifunde ukuzamukela, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi amaphutha awethu noma awozakwethu. Badinga ukwanga esikhundleni sokugconwa. Ukuzizwa ungabongisiwe ebudlelwaneni kungenza izinto ziye eningizimu. Izenzo ezincane zokwazisa zihamba ibanga elide. Vumela umlingani wakho azi ama-nuances amancane noma ama-eccentricities ozithandayo kuwo. Esikhundleni sokwandisa igebe phakathi kwenu nobabili, zama ukulivala ngezenzo ezilula zomusa nokwazisa njengesisekelo.

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3. Yini okufanele uyenze uma usuphelelwe uthando nomyeni wakho? Xhumana

U-Joie ufunga ngendima "yokukhuluma nokuxhuma kaningi" ekwakheni ubuhlobo. Olunye lwezimpawu ezibuhlungu kakhulu zokuthi uphelelwe uthando nomyeni wakho igebe lokuxhumana elikhula njalo. Zama ukusebenzela ekugcineni imigudu yokuxhumana ivuliwe. Hlala phansi uthole ingxoxo yenhliziyo nenhliziyo nomyeni wakho. Buza imibuzo ethokozisayo kumlingani wakho ukuze umqonde kangcono. Gcina isici sokuzijabulisa ezingxoxweni nasebudlelwaneni bakho, noma zimisele ngemibuzo ejulile yobudlelwano. Umqondo uwukuxhuma kangcono.

Ukuba nezingxoxo ezizuzisayo nomyeni wakho kungakusiza ubone indlela yakho eya phambili. Ukuphelelwa uthando emshadweni kukushiya uvule iminyango emibili phambi kwakho - uvuselela uthando noma ukhohlwe uthando. Ukuxoxa ngemizwa yakho noshade naye kuzokusiza ukuba unqume kangcono.

4. Beka phambili umlingani wakho

Kuyaye kubonakale ebudlelwaneni ukuthi abashadile bathathana kalula. Omunye wabangane bami engibathandayo wazithola ebhekene nesimo esifanayo. Kwesinye sezingxoxo zethu zango-2 AM, wabhoboka wathi, “Ngizizwa sengathi angisamthandi. Ngiyazi ukuthi angisenandaba naye njengoba ngangijwayele. Kungokwemvelo futhi kulula ukuyeka ukushawa umlingani wakho ngakho konke ukunakekela nokunaka kwangaphambili. Ubudlelwano besikhathi eside buvame ukuhlangana nalesi siphetho.

Ukuze uvuselele futhi uvuselele ubuhlobo bakho, buyela esigabeni sakho sokuthandana. Isikhathi lapho ninakekelana. Isikhathi lapho uzwakalise khona imizwa yakho kaningi. Bathokozise ngothando lwakho nokunakekela. UJoie ubonisa indlela ukunquma ngokuqaphela ukunakekelana okungabenza izimangaliso ebuhlotsheni. Zama ukubaheha ngemigilingwane yakho noma ngezimpawu zakho zothando. Lungisa umshado wakho nganoma yini edingekayo.

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5. Yiba qotho ngemizwa yakho

Yini okufanele uyenze uma uphelelwa uthando nomyeni wakho? Ubeka ubuntu bakho bangempela phambili. Ubudlelwano abukwazi ukuphumelela phezu kwesisekelo sokuzenzisa nama-facade. Ubudlelwano lapho ungazizwa njengawe bungakucisha. Uthando lwangempela alukwazi ukuqhakaza lapho lutshalwe ngaphansi kwezimo ezingamanga. Yiba yiqiniso futhi ungokoqobo kumlingani wakho. Misa ukufaka isikhunta noma ukuthobela imibono osuvele unayo. Zingaba kanjani okuhle kuwe uma ungeyena uqobo lwakho lwangempela?

Zithole kabusha kulolu hambo bese uqala ukwabelana nozakwenu futhi. Ngisho noma unomuzwa wokuthi, “Umyeni wami akangenzeli lutho, ungithathe kalula!”, khipha umusi. Ungabambi amagqubu. Njengoba uJoie ekubeka ngokufanelekile, “Lapho ucasukile, sabela. Ukwelashwa buthule ebudlelwaneni bungagxambukela ezintweni zabashadikazi. Esikhundleni salokho, sabela esimweni, veza imizwa yakho, futhi ukhiphe ama-creases.

6. Zihlole, zindla, bese uphendula

Zinike isikhashana uzibheke. Zibonele futhi uzame ukubeka phansi amaphutha namaphutha aholele ekuphumeni othandweni ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside. Ngaphandle kokuhileleka kunoma iyiphi sola imidlalo, zindla ngalokho okwalahleka ebudlelwaneni bakho. Khipha ukugxila kwakho kokuthi umlingani wakho ube nesandla ebudlelwaneni bakho ucabangele lokho okulethe etafuleni.

Kulula ukubeka okulindele kumyeni wakho. Kodwa zibuze kuqala, ingabe ubufinyelela izindinganiso ezifanayo emshadweni wakho? Amabhentshimakhi abo bobabili ozakwethu ukuthi bahlangane. Phatha umlingani wakho ngendlela ofisa ukuphathwa ngayo nguye. Thola ukushiyeka kwakho, futhi uthole ukuthi ungawalungisa kanjani. IRoma ayakhiwanga ngosuku olulodwa, futhi okufanayo kuyiqiniso kubo bonke ubuhlobo obuphumelelayo - kuthatha isikhathi nomzamo ozinikele. Letha ushintsho bese uzama ukugqashula emaphethini ayinkinga.

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7. Liyeke lihambe

Noma yini edinga ukuphoqwa, ifanele ukudedelwa. Lwelani ubudlelwano benu uma nobabili nibulungele, uma nicabanga ukuthi kungaba yinkomba yothando lweqiniso. Uma kwenzeka omunye wenu engazimisele noma engazinikele, kungcono yekela umlingani wakho. Awukwazi ukulwa impi esuke isinqotshiwe. Uthando olufile alukwazi ukubuyiselwa ekuphileni. Okubalulekile lapha uthando lwakho ngawe, phela akekho ofuna ukuba sebudlelwaneni obuphazamisa ingqondo noma injabulo yakhe.

U-Joie uvumelana nombono wakhe, "Kulungile ukuthandana nomuntu owake wathandana naye inqobo nje uma lesi senzo sikwenza uzithande kakhulu. Okuwukuphela komuntu ongeke ukwazi ukuhlukana naye ngothando nguwe kuphela." Emibhangqwaneni enezingane, weluleka ngokucabangela injabulo yezingane futhi. Uthi, “Izingane azinankinga nesehlukaniso uma kubeka bobabili abazali endaweni ejabulisayo.

Ukuwa othandweni kuyaqondakala. Okungathetheleleki wukuyekethisa enjabulweni yakho. Yini okufanele uyenze uma uphelelwa uthando nomyeni wakho? Yenza okukujabulisayo. Buyisela ubudlelwano uma uthanda, noma uyekele uma unezinsiza zokwenza leso sinqumo.

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