Ukuhlukana nokuqhubeka empilweni yakho kudinga amandla amaningi nokuzethemba. Yebo, kuyiqiniso ukuthi kunzima ukwedlula abanye abantu kunabanye. Uyaphuthelwa ukuba sebudlelwaneni futhi uphuthelwa ukufunwa nokunakekelwa. Uma ningakwazi ukudedela i-tissue paper nobabili enibhale kuyo amanothi othando, lokho kungenye yezimpawu zokuthi awudluli i-ex yakho.
Nakuba kuvamile ukudlula ezigabeni zokuhlukana njengosizi nokuphika, akukhona ukuhlakanipha kakhulu ukuvumela ubuhlungu buhlale isikhathi eside kakhulu. Ukuhlukana kungaba nesihluku uma wehluleka ukuqhubeka futhi ulokhu ubambezeleka esikhathini esidlule. Lokhu ngeke kube nempilo kuwe ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ngoba ngeke ukwazi ukwamukela uthando lweqiniso uma lufika ngendlela yakho.
Yiqiniso, wonke umuntu uthatha isikhathi sakhe eqhubekela phambili kodwa uma ngemva kwezinyanga (noma ngisho neminyaka) ugwema izinsuku kanye nezithakazelo zothando ezingase zibe khona, uthi “Angikakapheli i-ex yami”, akunampilo futhi udinga ukuphuma kuma-PJs futhi ugcwalise impilo yakho ngezothando futhi. Ngokuhlakanipha kwethu nolwazi lwethu, sihlanganise uhlu lwezimpawu eziyi-15 zokuthi awukho ngaphezu kwe-ex yakho.
Izimpawu eziyi-15 zokuthi Awudluli I-Ex Yakho
Okuqukethwe
Amanxeba enhliziyo athatha isikhathi ukuphola. Ngezinye izikhathi imizwa engemihle nobuhlungu buhlala iminyaka. Le mizwa ingaphazamisa izimpilo zethu, isenze singakhiqizi kahle kuzo zonke izici. Izimpawu zokuthi awudluli i-ex yakho zibonisa isimo sakho sengqondo futhi zikwenza ungakwazi ukugxila ezintweni ezingcono ezinikezwa yimpilo. Ingcindezi nokungezwani kuyamlimaza umuntu onguye, kanti ukulengiswa kowakwakho kukuvimbela ekutholeni uthando nenjabulo futhi.
Uma kwenzeka uzithola ucabanga ngedlule, sekuyisikhathi sokuthi uzibambe futhi uthole indlela yokuphuma kukho. Nalu uhlu lokuhlola olusheshayo lwezimpawu eziyi-15 zokuthi awudluli ku-ex yakho ezizokukhanyisela ukuthi udinga isikhathi esengeziwe sokuqeda ukuhlukana noma ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuthi uzithathe futhi ugxumele echibini lokuqomisana:
1. Ulokhu ucupha amaphrofayili enkundla yezokuxhumana yalowo owabe ekhona
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi i-Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, noma i-Snapchat, uma uzithola uvakashela iphrofayela yakhe (uyazi ukuthi empeleni sisho ukuthungatha) njalo ngaphandle kokwehluleka, kusho ukuthi awukho phezu kwe-ex yakho. Ulokhu ubuyela ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ngoba wuchungechunge lokugcina olukuxhumanisa nempilo yabo.
Awukwazi ukuphila ngokuphika futhi ngemva kwephuzu, kufanele uvume kuwe, "Yebo, angikakadluli i-ex yami". Esikhundleni sokuchitha usuku lwakho ufuna ukuthi ubani ohlezi naye noma ukuthi bajabule kangakanani, udinga ukuzilolonga izindlela zokuyeka ukuthungatha amaphrofayili e-ex yakho. Khumbula ukuthi lo mkhuba awukuphathi kahle ngoba ungaphenduka ube wukuthatheka. Ngakho yeka ukukwenza futhi ulawule imizwa yakho.
2. Ulokhu ukhuluma nge-ex yakho ngesikhathi sezingxoxo
Lesi esinye sezimpawu ezilula ukuthi awudluli i-ex yakho. Kuphela uma ungamkhohliwe nhlobo umuntu lapho ulokhu ukhuluma ngaye. Asisho ukuthi zisule ngokuphelele enkumbulweni yakho. Eqinisweni, kunempilo ukukhipha ukukhungatheka ngemva kokuhlukana.
Kodwa uma zonke izingxoxo zakho zizungeza i-ex yakho, noma uma ngandlela thize uthola indlela yokuletha igama labo engxoxweni engenamsebenzi nhlobo, sukuma, uzibuke esibukweni bese uzitshela ukuthi, “Angikho phezu kwe-ex yami kodwa kufanele ngizame ukudlula kubo”. Ukuze uqiniseke ngalokhu, ungabuza abangani bakho abaseduze nezihlobo mayelana nombono wabo mayelana nalesi sibonakaliso. Ungamangali uma bekutshela ukuthi nabo bakubonile lokhu futhi abakutholi kunempilo kuwe.
3. Uzama ukuhlangana ne-ex yakho ngephutha
Ukudlula umuntu ombona nsuku zonke akuyona ikhekhe, ikakhulukazi uma esebenza ehhovisi elilodwa noma eneqembu elifanayo labangane. Ngakho-ke ngemva kokuhlukana, kubalulekile ukuthi uqhelelane nomuntu wakho. Kodwa-ke, uma uzithola ubeka izaba zokuhlangana nowayethandana naye, njengokuvakashela ikhefi ayintandokazi yakhe noma ukuhambela umcimbi azoba yingxenye yawo, kusho ukuthi kuwuphawu oluyisixwayiso sokuthi awudluli i-ex yakho.
Uma uhluleka ukuzibamba kodwa uyazibuza, “Kungani namanje angikadluli nge-ex yami?”, kungenxa yokuthi usazungezwe yilowo muntu. Kufanele usebenzise indlela ongayiboni, usondele eduze futhi ugcine ibanga lakho. Bekunesizathu sokuthi uhlukane nomuntu. Ukuba seduze kwabo ngeke nje kubadide kodwa kuphinde kudide inhliziyo yakho entekenteke.
4. Uyakugwema ukungena kobunye ubudlelwano
Olunye uphawu ukuthi awukho phezu ex yakho ukuthi ulokhu ditching izinsuku abangani bakho ukuthola ngawe ngayo yonke imizamo yakho ngoba ex yakho namanje ithatha inhliziyo yakho nengqondo. Ngaso sonke isikhathi uma othile eza kuwe ethi, “Ngikutholele usuku olufanele,” uba nempendulo evamile: “Angikakapheli i-ex yami”.
Nakuba abanye abantu bedlala ikhadi elithi “Angikakadluli nge-ex yami” ukuze nje bagweme ukuphola ngokuvamile, abanye banamathele kumuntu oyedwa futhi bakuthola kunzima ukubona ikusasa nomunye umuntu. Cishe uphuthelwa umfana/intombazane yakho yamaphupho ngokuvika lezi zinsuku futhi konke kumuntu ongasenaye. Ngakho-ke yithintithe futhi unikeze uthando elinye ithuba futhi ngeke wazi, kulokhu ungase uhlangane 'nalowo'.
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5. Udelela isithandwa sakho esisha
Uma ungakwazi ukuqhubekela phambili, akusho ukuthi i-ex yakho izobambelela kuwe. I-ex yakho kungenzeka ithole intshisekelo yabo entsha yothando futhi uzozithola udelela lowo muntu. Ngeke ucabange kabili ngaphambi kokukhuluma kabi mayelana nentshisekelo yothando yamanje ye-ex yakho ngenkathi ungase ungamazi lowo muntu mathupha. Kungezinye zezimpawu zokuthi awudluli i-ex yakho. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi unomona futhi wehlulekile ukuqhubeka. Kubalulekile futhi ukukhumbula ukuthi kulula kubantu abambalwa yeka ukuthanda umuntu ngokushesha kunabanye.
Omunye wabangane bami wake wathi, “Ngemva kokuhlukana nesoka lami ngaleso sikhathi, angizange ngibone ukuthi angikadluli kwamuntu engangithandana naye kwaze kwaba yilapho ngithola ukuthi useqalile ukujola nomuntu othile. Namanje angazi ukuthi kwenzekani kimi kodwa ngenza umgomo wokukhuluma kabi ngaye kubo bonke abantu. Kamuva, ngabona ukuthi nganginomuzwa wokuthi untshontshe okungokwami futhi wayengakufanelekeli ukwelashwa kwami kuye esikhathini esidlule. ”
6. Uzizwa ulingeka ukuba ushayele noma uthumele i-ex yakho imiyalezo
Udakiwe uwashayele futhi? Ingabe igama labo lokuqala elifika engqondweni yakho njalo lapho kwenzeka okuthile okuhle noma okubi empilweni yakho? Ungakhathazeki, kujwayelekile. Kodwa kungenye yezimpawu zokuthi awudluli i-ex yakho. Uma uzwa sengathi kufanele uthinte ex yakho ngocingo noma ngombhalo ngaphandle kwesizathu esiqinile, khona-ke kuyimbangela yokukhathazeka. Kuwuphawu lokuthi usafuna ukufinyelela ku-ex yakho ngoba uzizwa ungenalutho futhi ungaphelele ngaphandle kwayo.
Ubudlelwano buyeka ukuba khona kodwa izinkumbulo, umuzwa wokujwayela kuphela uphela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kufanele ufunde ukuze ukubhekana nesizungu ngemva kokuhlukana futhi ungaxhumani nabo ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho ubakhumbula. Ngakho-ke uma uzibuza ukuthi ungathola kanjani i-ex yami, ukususa ukuxhumana kwabo kuzoba yisinyathelo esibaluleke kakhulu. Ukungaxhumani naye, okwamanje, kungaba umnyakazo ohlakaniphile ohlangothini lwakho futhi kukusize uqhubekele phambili
7. Ulokhu uvakashela umzila wenkumbulo
Akungabazeki ukuthi izikhathi ozichithe no-ex wakho zizogcizelelwa enkumbulweni yakho futhi kuzoba nzima ngempela ukudlula lezo zinkumbulo. Uma uqhubeka nokubuka izithombe nezipho ezindala futhi ucabanga ngazo, kusho ngokusobala ukuthi yisikhathi sokuthi hlukana ne-ex yakho. Nokho, ukuqhubeka uvakashela izinkumbulo nokuphupha emini ngazo kungakugcina uboshiwe kulobo buhlobo futhi ngeke ulithole ithuba lokuthola uthando lweqiniso.
8. Uqhathanisa i-date ongase ube nayo ne-ex yakho
Ukuqhathanisa kubhalwe kuyo yonke indawo ukuthi “Angikakapheli i-ex yami”. Ngemva okuningi ekholisayo ngisho noma uvuma ukuya ngosuku, khona-ke uzobona ukuthi uzoqhubekela phambili eqhathanisa ukuthi guy / intombazane ex yakho. Mhlawumbe lokhu ukwenza ngokungazi, kodwa-ke ufuna usuku lwakho olusha luphile ngokuvumelana nezinga elibekwe yi-ex yakho.
Khumbula, lokhu akulungile neze, futhi akufanele ukwenze lokhu. Thola phezu ex yakho kakade ukwahlulela usuku lwakho entsha ngendlela engachemile. Qiniseka ukuthi usukulungele futhi uzimisele ukuya osukwini ukuze ube nolwazi oluhle. Futhi ukube bebephelele kangaka, ubungeke uhlukane nabo, akunjalo? Ngakho-ke yekela lezi ziqhathaniso futhi ujabule njengoba wazana nomuntu omusha.
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9. Uhlulwa ukulahla izinto ze ex yakho
Ngesikhathi nihlukana, kuhle ukuthi ubuyisele izinto zomuntu othandana naye noma uzilahle. Nokho, ngisho izinyanga ngemva kokuhlukana uma usabambelele izipho ex yakho kanye nezithombe, ke kuba esinye sezibonakaliso ezinkulu ungekho phezu ex yakho. Yenza ibhokisi lezinto zabo futhi ulibuyisele kubo ( ngeposi, asikho isidingo sokukubona lokhu njengezaba zokuhlangabezana nazo) noma unikele ngezinto. Ngaleyo ndlela, uzokwazi ukuqhubekela phambili ngokushesha futhi ungabambeki uzibuze ukuthi kungani ngingakadluli i-ex yami.
10. Uzama ukukholisa abantu ukuthi ulungile
Uyakhumbula ngenkathi uRoss ethi, “NginguFIINNNEE,” wayeseqhubeka nokushisa izandla zakhe ngenkathi edakwe ingqondo yakhe? Sonke siyazi ukuthi wayengaphilanga ngoba wayezama kanzima ukukholisa abangani bakhe ukuthi empeleni wayelungile. Hhayi-ke, umuntu ozethembayo futhi oqinile ngokwanele ukuba aqhubekele phambili ngemva kokwehlukana ngokusobala ngeke azame ukukholisa abantu abaseduze ukuthi ulungile.
Ngokufunda esibonelweni sikaRoss, uma kwenzeka uzama ukuncenga abangani bakho ukuthi uyaphila futhi usudlulile, maningi amathuba okuthi uzinikeze umlayezo wokuthi izinto azilungile ngempela nokuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuthi uvume kuwo wonke umuntu, “Heyi, angikakaqedi nge-ex yami.” Okungenani ngaleyo ndlela, abangani bakho nomndeni bangakusiza kule nqubo.
11. Uletha izinguquko ezintsha kuwe
Esinye sezibonakaliso ukuthi awukho phezu kwe-ex yakho ukuthi uzozama ukuguqula ukubukeka kwakho noma uzame ukuphishekela umsebenzi omusha wokuzilibazisa ngoba lezi yizinguquko ezithile okungenzeka ukuthi u-ex wakho wayezifuna ngenkathi enawe. Yebo, ushintsho luhle. Ibonisa ukukhula, kodwa kuphela lapho ushintsho lungabonakali njengendlela yokwenza wola i-ex yakho ngemuva kokuhlukana. Ukucabanga okunjalo kuyokulimaza kuphela. Kumele uzitshele ukuthi ukufanele ukuba nomuntu ozokwamukela lokho oyikho kunokuthi uziguqule ngokuphelele komunye umuntu.
12. Uhlala uthintana nabangane bakho nomndeni wakudala
Kungenzeka ukuthi ngesikhathi usebudlelwaneni nomuntu owake wathandana naye, wasondelana kakhulu nabangane bakho noma amalungu omndeni wakho. Ukunqamula ubuhlobo nabo kungaba inketho engcono kakhulu ngemva kokuhlukana. Kodwa-ke, uma usazithola uxhumana nabo futhi uhlangana nabo nje ngethemba lokudlula i-ex yakho, lokho kuwuphawu lwemicabango ecindezelayo.
Mhlawumbe ufuna ukuzwa umuzwa wokujwayela futhi. Mhlawumbe ukhumbula lokho kuphila kanye nokuba seduze. Noma ngabe kuyini, ukuthintana nabazali babo kaningi kungenye yezimpawu zokuthi awudluli i-ex yakho.
13. Usebenzisa izinkundla zokuxhumana ukuveza ukukhungatheka noma ukuphelelwa ithemba kwakho
Sonke sithumele okuthile ezinkundleni zokuxhumana obekuhloselwe amehlo athile. Kodwa, uma yonke i-ajenda yakho yokuthumela ezinkundleni zokuxhumana igxile ekufuneni ukunakwa yi-ex yakho noma ukwazisa abantu ukuthi uphatheke kabi kangakanani ngokuhlukana kwakho, kusho ukuthi awukude kakhulu nokwedlula owakwakho.
Ukuthumela izithombe zakho ezinhle kumawebhusayithi ezinkundla zokuxhumana, udlala ngothando nabanye ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, ukuthumela ama-meme obudlelwano noma izingcaphuno ezicashile kumaphrofayela akho ezinkundla zokuxhumana - lokhu kuzomela ukukhungatheka kwakho kanye nokuphelelwa ithemba kwakho ukuze ambuyisele. Ngakho kugweme ngazo zonke izindlela.
14. Uziphatha kabi eduze kwe-ex yakho
Ingabe wena noma owake wathandana naye ubuqeda ubuhlobo ngenothi lokuthi nobabili nizoba abangane futhi nithandane? Uma uthi yebo futhi usazithola uxakile, ugwema ukubheka emehlweni, ukudlikiza, njll. uma ushayisana naye, kusho ukuthi awukho phezu kwe-ex yakho ngempela. Akulula (noma okunempilo) ukukwenza hlala umngane ne-ex ikakhulukazi uma ungekho phezu kwabo. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kungcono ukugcina ibanga lakho. Nakuba nobabili nivumelene ngokuhlala ningabangane, uma inhliziyo yenu isabalangazelela, kungcono nikugweme ukudlula kulobo buhlungu.
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15. Usazizwa likhona ikusasa ne ex yakho
Uma kwenzeka usenalo muzwa wokuthi kunekusasa ne-ex yakho, kusho ngokusobala ukuthi usamthanda. Kumele uphaphame ukuthi ukube bekunekusasa ngabe ubudlelwano buyasebenza. Gxila ezizatho zokuthi kungani kwadingeka uhlukane futhi ulahle amathemba amanga.
Ngempela kuyethusa kakhulu futhi kuyakhungathekisa ukudlula ukuhlukana. Kodwa-ke, zinike isikhathi sokuphulukisa kanye nethuba lokwamukela uthando olusha ngokukhululekile nangenhliziyo yonke. Zibone izimpawu zokuthi awudluli i-ex yakho bese uzama ukuthatha izinyathelo ezikuvumela ukuthi ukhiphe ubumnandi bayo. Kuningi ongakunikeza ngempilo futhi udinga ukudlula okwedlule futhi ubheke ikusasa.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Kungenxa yokuthi wabelane ngokubophezela futhi awukho ngaphezu kwakho. Kungenzeka ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buphelile kodwa imizwa isafihlwe ndawana thize ekhoneni lenhliziyo yakho.
Izenzo eziningi zingaba uphawu lokuthi owakwakho unemizwa ngawe. Ngokwesibonelo, uma bekushayela ucingo ngaso sonke isikhathi bedakiwe noma ubathola bebuza abanye ngawe, lowo owayeshade naye angase abe nemizwa ngawe.
Balahle izinto zabo. Susa oxhumana nabo. Ungazibandakanyi nabangani babo. Vele ubakhiphe ngokuphelele empilweni yakho.
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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Uma engakwazi ukumkhohlwa enzenjani uma kunjalo. Uma ekushiyile ngoba evele ejola nomunye umuntu bese ezoshada ezinyangeni ezimbalwa pho kumele enzeni omunye umuntu azame ukumfonela noma amsg. Omunye umuntu akaphathekile kahle ukukhuluma pho ngenzenjani??? Sicela uphakamise