Top 15 Signs Of Isoka Elizivikele Kakhulu

Ukuvikela isithandwa sakho ebudlelwaneni kungokwemvelo. Kodwa ingabe isoka lakho likhawulela inkululeko yakho futhi lilawula izinqumo zakho ezihlanganisa ukuthi uzogqokani nokuthi yini ozoyithumela ku-Instagram, konke egameni lokuzivikela? Uma kunjalo, empeleni unesoka elivikela ngokweqile futhi awukho ebudlelwaneni obunempilo.

Ukuze siqonde umehluko phakathi kokuvikela nokuvikela ngokweqile, ikakhulukazi incazelo yesoka elivikela ngokweqile, sixoxe nomqeqeshi wezempilo ngokomzwelo kanye nokuqaphela uPooja Priyamvada (oqinisekiswe kwi-Psychological and Mental Health First Aid evela eJohns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health kanye naseNyuvesi yaseSydney). Ugxile ekwelulekeni ngokobulili obungaphandle komshado, ukuhlukana, ukuhlukana, usizi nokulahlekelwa, ukubala okumbalwa.

Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Zokuthi Unesoka Elivikela Ngokudlulele

Mhlawumbe ubulokhu uzizwa ungakhululekile uma useduze nesoka lakho kodwa awukwazi ukusho ukuthi kungani. Noma mhlawumbe usanda kuba nesinye isiphithiphithi ngeposi lakho lokugcina ezinkundleni zokuxhumana elathandwa ngumuntu osebenza naye wesilisa ngokungahleliwe. Uma kunjalo, kungenzeka ukuthi unesoka elinobugovu kodwa awuqondi ngokugcwele incazelo yokuvikela ngokweqile ebudlelwaneni. Nazi ezinye izimpawu okufanele uziqaphele:

1. Ukuziphatha kokungathembi

Kusho ukuthini uma indoda ikuvikele ngokweqile? UPooja uthi, “Ufuna ukwazi ngemizuzu yonke yosuku lwakho, uqapha ama-akhawunti akho ocingo kanye nezinkundla zokuxhumana, futhi uyagxeka noma uyabasola abangane bakho. Ukholelwa ukuthi awukwazi ukuzenzela izinqumo zakho.”

Isoka elivikela ngokweqile lingase:

• Bheka izinto zakho
• Lalela izingxoxo zakho
• Landelela indawo yakho ye-GPS ukuze ulandelele lapho uya khona
• Phendula umbuzo ngokungaphezi

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2. Ukuntuleka kwendawo yomuntu siqu

Isoka elivikela kakhulu aliqondi indawo yakho noma ukubaluleka kobumfihlo bakho. Ngeke likuvumele wenze izinto wedwa, njengokuphuma nabangani bakho noma ngisho nokuba nobusuku obuphumuzayo wedwa. Ukwakha ubuhlobo nendoda engayihloniphi imingcele yakho kuwumzabalazo futhi akufanele neze umzamo.

3. Ukungazethembi kanye nomona

U-Pooja uveza ukuthi, “Kulungile ukufuna ukunakwa umlingani wakho futhi ube nomona futhi noma uphathe kabi ngaye ngezinye izikhathi.

Kukhona umona kubo bonke. Sonke sizizwe sibophekile lapho umuntu esimthandayo ebonakala enaka omunye umuntu. Kodwa-ke ukucabanga okunengqondo nokuthembela kubalingani bethu kuyathatha indawo bese siqaphela ukuthi sisabela ngokweqile. Ngakho-ke, uma isoka lakho likusola ngokuthandana nawo wonke amadoda okhuluma nawo, unenkinga. Lokhu kuyisibonakaliso esicacile sokuthi lihlala lizizwa lingazethembi ngamadoda oxhumana nawo.

Ukungavikeleki okunjalo kuvame ukuholela ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo. Ngakho-ke, ngaphandle uma kusezingeni lapho ukuxhumana okucacile kungaxazulula yonke into, kufanele ugweme abantu abanjalo ngazo zonke izindlela.

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4. Akakuthandi ukuzimela kwakho

Uma isoka lakho libonakala linenkinga yokuthi wenza noma yini ngaphandle kwalo, ngokuvamile kungenxa yokuthi lifuna impilo yakho ijikeleze eyalo. Uma isoka lithi ungowalo, ungase ucabange ukuthi kungenye yezimpawu zesoka elivikelayo, lomuntu okhathalela ngokwanele ukuthi uhlale ekufisa. Eqinisweni, cishe ukhathazeke kakhulu ngokuhlala ebalulekile empilweni yakho futhi akakwazi ukubhekana nokuthandana nowesifazane ozimele . Uma lokhu kuqhubeka kwenzeka, kufanele ubeke imingcele ecacile esikhundleni sokuyeka zonke izinto ozithandayo kanye nobungane ukuze nje umjabulise.

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5. Ukuba nezinto

Esinye sezibonakaliso zesoka elivikelayo ukuthi likuphatha njengomlingani olinganayo futhi liyakuhlonipha njengomuntu. Nokho, isoka elivikelayo ngokweqile likubona njengempahla yalo, ligcizelela ukuthi ungowalo futhi ungowalo wedwa. Kungase kuzwakale kunothando ekuqaleni kodwa qaphela lapho izinto ziphuma endleleni bese liba yindoda ephethe izinto . Kukhona umehluko phakathi kokuba yisicefe nokuba yingozi. Uma kubonakala sengathi akawazi umehluko futhi evame ukubonisa 'uthando' lwakhe ngawe ngokuzama ukukuvimbela kubangane besilisa kanye nozakwabo, kungase kube yisikhathi sengxoxo engathi sína.

6. Ilungelo

Uma uqala ukukholelwa ukuthi, “Isoka lami livikela ngokweqile” lapho linomuzwa wokuthi likufanelekele, uyobe uqinisile. U-Pooja uthi, “Uma ekwenzela izinqumo futhi ecabanga ukuthi wazi kangcono kunawe ngolwazi lwakho, nakanjani lokho kubangelwa umuzwa wabo wokuba nelungelo nokuziphatha ngendlela evikela ngokweqile okuyinto engafanele neze.”

Uma isoka lakho lilindele ukuthi uhlale usemandleni akhe futhi ushaye ucingo, ungase ufune ukucabanga kabusha ngobudlelwano bakho. Izindaba zamasoka ezivikela ngokweqile zisitshela ukuthi amadoda afana nalawa azozizwa enelungelo kuwo wonke umzuzu nengxenye yempilo yakho. Futhi uma uzama ukuvikela indawo yakho siqu, izinsolo zizokwehlela njengesichotho. Amadoda ajwayele umuzwa wawo wokufaneleka angahlukumezeka kakhulu uma uzama ukulungisa ukuziphatha kwawo.

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7. Ukuqunjelwa icala

Ukuzizwa unecala kungenye yezimpawu ezingabonakali zokuthi bavikela ngokweqile ebudlelwaneni. Uma uphuma nabangani bakho futhi uzijabulise, isoka lakho elivikela ngokweqile lingase likukhubekise ngokungachithi leso sikhathi nalo. Uzogcina uzizwa unecala ngokufuna ukuchitha usuku lwakho ngendlela ofuna ngayo. Nakuba kunzima ukukubona, lokhu kungenye yezimpawu ezivamile zomlingani ovikela ngokweqile.

UPooja uthi, “ Ukuzizwa unecala ebudlelwaneni akulungile neze. Abantu abagcini nje ngobudlelwano babo bothando kuphela. Kumelwe babe nobudlelwano obubaluleke ngokulinganayo. Uma umlingani ecasukile ukuthi uchitha isikhathi nabangani bakho, uzizwa engazethembi kakhulu.”

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8. Ukulawula ngokweqile

Ngokwemvelo amadoda avame ukuhola ubudlelwano. Kodwa abanye bakwenza ngokweqile futhi baphenduke abantu abalawulayo . Lesi sici singabonakala ngezindlela ezibonakala zingabalulekile njengokukukhethela imenyu yokudla kwakusihlwa njalo. Kodwa-ke, singaba ngokweqile, njengalapho indoda ithi ungowayo noma iqala ukukuyalela ukuthi ukhethe umsebenzi nokuthi uzohlala nobani. Ekuqaleni, uzibuza ukuthi, “Kungani engivikela kangaka?” kodwa uma usujwayele, kuzoba nzima kakhulu ukubuyisa ukuzimela kwakho.

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Ezimweni ezinjalo, uPooja uyeluleka, “Khuluma nesoka lakho lapho likulawula ngokweqile. Litshele ukuthi uzizwa ubhekiwe futhi ulawulwa.

9. Uyababekela imingcele

Uma umlingani wakho onomona nolawulayo eqala ukukubekela imingcele yenkululeko yokuhamba, kuyisibonakaliso esicacile sokuthi uvikela ngokweqile. Leyo cafe othanda ukuya kuyo izobe ingavunyelwe ngokuzumayo ngoba umomotheke kuweta. Noma ubusuku bentombazane yakho buzokhanselwa ngemuva kokuba isoka lakho elivikela ngokweqile likucasule uma uphuma ngaphandle kwalo.

Zama ukunqanda ukuthambekela okunjalo ngoba, uma umvumela, isoka elivikela ngokweqile lizoqhubeka lize likuvale ekhoneni lingabi nandawo yokuphefumula. Ayikho into ebulala ubudlelwano bothando ngokushesha kunomuzwa wokuqomisana ne-control freak.

10. Izama ukukuvimba ukuthi ungagqoki okuthandayo

Amanye amadoda athanda ukuzifela ngezimpahla ozigqokayo. Abaqondi ukuthi iyiphi ingubo oyigqokayo, ukuthi ugcoba kangakanani izimonyo kuncike kuwe ngokuphelele. Bayokuthethisa futhi bakuhlukumeze ngokugqoka noma yini engafaki wonke amangqamuzana esikhumba amancane. Ungase uzibuze, “Kungani isoka lami livikela ngokweqile?” Lokhu kuthambekela kuvela emuzweni wokungazethembi kanye nomuzwa wokuba nempahla ongafanele futhi kungaba yingozi kakhulu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

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11. Izinkinga ngenkundla yakho yezokuxhumana

Ingabe amasoka avikela kakhulu alandela izinkundla zokuxhumana zakho futhi aveze yonke into encane efana nokuthanda noma ukuphawula okulula okungagcina ngokulwa. Futhi maye uma uke walokotha uhleke amahlaya omunye umuntu. Kuzwakala kujwayelekile? Khona-ke kungase kube yisikhathi sokubuyela ekubeni ongashadile ojabulayo.

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12. Ukuba nolaka

Esinye isici esivamile kubo bonke abafana abavikela ngokweqile ukuthi baba nolaka kangakanani uma wenza okuphambene nezifiso zabo. Baba nolaka ngokushesha. Futhi ukuziphatha kwabo okuhlukumezayo kungakhula ngokushesha kube ubudlova. Lokhu kuthambekela kuvame ukuqala kancane futhi kukhule ngokuhamba kwesikhathi njengoba ulaka lwabo oluningi lungalawulwa. Futhi lokhu kufaneleke njengenye yezimpawu ezinkulu zobudlelwano.

Kungani isoka lami livikela ngokweqile futhi linolaka, uyabuza? UPooja uthi, “Izizathu zingaba ziningi, kusukela ekungathembeni kuye ekungakhulumisani ebuhlotsheni. Izehlakalo zesikhathi esidlule zingenza umuntu angazethembi ngomlingani wakhe. Ngokufanayo, izindaba ezivela ebuntwaneni njengokuhlukumezeka kokulahlwa nazo zingaba nendima ebalulekile lapha.”

Ucwaningo luveza ukuthi izingane ezivezwa ubudlova emakhaya azo zisencane zingase zigcine sezingabantu abanolaka lapho zikhula. Idatha ilinganisela ukuthi izingane ezingafika ezigidini ezingu-275 emhlabeni wonke zivezwa ubudlova emakhaya azo minyaka yonke.

13. Izimfuno ezihlala njalo

Uma isoka lakho elivikela ngokweqile likuthumelela imiyalezo noma lilokhu likufonela usuku lonke lapho wenza izinhlelo nabanye abantu, khona-ke ngokusobala alifuni ukuthi unake omunye umuntu ngaphandle kwakhe. Kungase kufinyelele eqophelweni lapho ezama ngokuzikhandla ukubamba ingulube sonke isikhathi sakho. Uma uthatha usuku kuye, ifoni yakho izohlaselwa ngemibhalo ecasulayo kanye nezingcingo ezithukuthele.  

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Ngakho-ke, kusho ukuthini uma indoda ikuvikela ngokweqile futhi iziphatha ngale ndlela? UPooja ugcizelela, “Ukuvikela ngokweqile kubonisa ukuba khona kokungazethembi okucashile. Kufanele umtshele ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, zama ukuqonda ukuthi kungani eziphatha ngale ndlela, futhi uma lokhu kubonakala kungalungiseki, bonana nomeluleki ndawonye.”

Ngakho-ke, njengoba uPooja esho, akukho okubi ngokuthatha ukwelashwa kwemibhangqwana. Eqinisweni, ngisho nemibhangqwana edumile njengoJennifer Lopez no-Alex Rodriguez ayikaze igweme ukukhuluma ngendlela ukwelashwa kwemibhangqwana okubasize ngayo.

14. Awukwazi ukuncoma amanye amadoda

Indlela elula yokubona isoka elivikela ngokweqile ukubona ukuthi lisabela kanjani lapho uncoma amanye amadoda. Angeke akubekezelele ukuncoma omunye umuntu futhi angadala inkinga ngaso leso sikhathi. Bangase baze bafike bathi awuthembekile. Amadoda anjalo ahlala efuna ukuba sekupheleni kokumomotheka nokudumisa kwakho futhi awakwazi ukwamukela ukuthi unake omunye umuntu ngisho nomzuzwana nje. Kungase kufinyelele eqophelweni lapho ngisho nokumomotheka kobungane kumuntu angamazi kungase kubangele ukungazethembi kwakhe futhi kumthukuthelise.

Ungase uzibuze ngokuphindaphindiwe, “Isoka lami livikela ngokweqile futhi alizethembi. Kufanele ngenzenjani?” Ezimweni ezinjalo, kufanele uzimelele. “Xoxa ngemingcele ebalulekile njengoba kwenzeka izingxabano zamandla lapho kungekho khona umuzwa wegunya futhi omunye umuntu ezama ukubusa omunye. Ungavumeli lokho kwenzeke kunoma yiluphi ubudlelwano,” kusho uPooja.

15. Ukukhanyisa igesi kanye nokukhwabanisa

Incazelo yokuvikela ngokweqile ebudlelwaneni ihlanganisa ukukhohlisa kanye nokukhanyisa igesi. Amadoda akhohlisayo azonciphisa ukuzethemba kwakho izinsuku eziningi, amasonto neminyaka, uze ube yisithunzi sobuntu bakho bangaphambili. Kulula kakhulu ngabo ukukulawula uma bengahlala bephazamisa izinqumo zakho futhi bakwenze ungabaze. Bazophazamisa ngamabomu impilo yakho yengqondo, bakuhlukumeze ngokomzwelo, futhi basebenzise imisho yokukukhanyisa igesi kuwe ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuze bakwenze uthambekele kakhudlwana.

I-egomaniacs enjalo izoqhubeka kuze kube yilapho ulahlekelwa konke okufana nokuzimela. Ukuziphatha okunjalo akulona ngisho ifulegi elibomvu. Kuwuphawu lokuma olulingana nebhodi lokukhangisa.

"Kulungile ukuzizwa uvikelekile kwabathandekayo bethu, kodwa ukuzizwa "uvikeleke ngokweqile" kuze kube seqophelweni lokukhawulela othile akukaze kube nempilo enhle. Ukuvikela kungasho ukuqinisekisa ukuthi othandekayo uphephile ngezinga lakhe lokunethezeka nemvume, ukulawula kungasho ukweqa imvume yabo mayelana nokuvikelwa kanye/noma ukuphepha kwabo," kuphetha u-Pooja. 

Ingabe Ukuzivikela Kuwuphawu Lothando?

Yebo, ukuvikela ebudlelwaneni ngezinga elithile kungaba uphawu lothando . Kodwa kufanele wazi umehluko phakathi kothando nobuthi. Ngokungafani nomlingani ovikela ngokweqile, umlingani ovikelayo akazami ukulawula izinqumo zakho noma ukukuhlukanisa nabanye. Nazi ezinye zezimpawu zokuvikela okunempilo kumlingani ngokusho kukaPooja:

• Ukuhlonipha imingcele yakho
• Inikeza ukwesekwa kokusebenza ufinyelele imigomo yakho
• Ukuma phambi kwakho phambi kwabanye abantu uma kudingeka
• Ibeka kuqala izidingo zakho
• Ukuthola indawo emaphakathi lapho kunomehluko wezinketho noma imibono, kunokuphoqelela ukukhetha kwabo kuwe
• Ukusebenzela ukwakha ukwethembana futhi kube yindawo yakho ephephile

Uma ubona umlingani wakho evikela ngalezi zindlela, yebo, kungaba uphawu lothando.

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Indlela Yokubhebhana Nesoka Elivikela Ngokweqile

Isoka elivikela kakhulu lingakwenza uzizwe ucindezelekile futhi udabukile, futhi lokhu kuziphatha akukwazi ukuqhubeka nobudlelwano besikhathi eside . Kodwa-ke, umlingani ophethe futhi olawulayo akahlali eqaphela imiphumela emibi yezenzo zakhe futhi akanayo inhloso yokukulimaza. Kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi kufanele ubekezelele lesi sici esinobuthi. Nazi izinto ongazenza ukuze ulawule ukuziphatha komlingani wakho ovikela ngokweqile:

1. Ukuxhumana okuvulekile

Ukungazinaki izimpawu zokuzivikela ngokweqile noma ukulinda izinto ziguquke ngokwazo kuyindlela yenhlekelele. Ngokushesha noma kamuva, uzobona ukuthi ngeke usakwazi ukukubekezelela futhi ubuhlobo bungase bube bungalungiseki ngaleso sikhathi. Ukuze ugweme lokhu, yiba nengxoxo enemininingwane kusenesikhathi lapho uqala ukubona ukuziphatha okunjalo.

UPooja uthi, “Xoxisana nomngane wakho womshado ukuthi yini ebangela lokhu kungazethembi nomhawu.Mhlawumbe babenobudlelwano obungebuhle esikhathini esidlule noma umphumela wokuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni.Izizathu eziningi zingaholela ekulawuleni ukuziphatha komuntu. Uma usuyiqonda inkinga, ungasebenza ngokufanele ukuze uyixazulule.”

2. Beka imingcele

Uma usumzwile umlingani wakho futhi waqonda umbono wakhe, sekuyisikhathi sokuba uveze ukukhathazeka kwakho. Mqinisekise ukuthi nizosebenzisana ukuxazulula izinkinga zakhe kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo, kwenze kucace ukuthi ufanelwe inhlonipho ebudlelwaneni futhi ngeke uhlehlise kukho.

Misa imingcele futhi ukwenze kucace ukuthi lokhu akunakuxoxiswana kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yisiphi isimo. Ungabasiza futhi ukuthi bathole amanye amasu okubhekana nesimo ukuze ungabekezeleli izenzo ezinobuthi noma ezihlukumezayo.

3. Veza uthando lwakho njalo

Ngezinye izikhathi, ukungazethembi kungase kuphakame lapho umlingani ezizwa engathandwa ngokwanele. Uma lokho kubonakala kuyindaba, hlanganisa ukubonakaliswa kothando kwansuku zonke ekuphileni kwakho kwansuku zonke. Akudingi njalo usuku oluhle noma isipho esibizayo ukubakhumbuza ngothando lwakho. Nakhu ukuthinta okuncane ongakwenza ukukhombisa uthando:

• Thumela umbhalo/ushayele ucingo phakathi nosuku ubatshele ukuthi usengqondweni yakho
• Beka imibhalo emnandi njalo nje njengokuthi “Angikwazi ukulinda ukuhlangana nawe!”
• Ithi ngiyakuthanda ngokuvamile
• Nikeza izipho ezincane njengezimpawu zothando

4. Uma kunesidingo, yivale

Khumbula, ungamsekela umlingani wakho uma ezama ukuthuthuka, kodwa akukho ongakwenza uma engazimisele ukushintsha. Uma kunjalo, yeka ukuchitha isikhathi sakho bese uhlukana ukuze uzisindise ekuhluphekeni okuqhubekayo.

Imicabango Final

Uma uke wazibuza, “kungani engivikela kangaka?” Kungenxa yokuthi ukuzivikela kanye nomhawu omncane kungokwemvelo ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa uma sekweqile, kuba yisici esinobuthi. Isoka elivikela ngokweqile lilawula izinqumo zakho, likuhlukanise nabangane bakho, lingene lingenele ubumfihlo bakho futhi likukhohlise ukuze uhlale kulobu budlelwano obucindezelayo. Ungasebenzisa ukuxhumana kanye nemingcele eqinile ukuze ubhekane nozakwenu omvikela ngokweqile kodwa uma izinto zingathuthuki, shiya ukuze ulondoloze ingqondo yakho.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.