Ingabe ukuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni kunempilo? Lona umcabango iningi lethu elike lawucabangisisa ngesikhathi esithile. "Ingabe ukuhlukana ebudlelwaneni kuyasebenza noma kulokhu kuzosihlukanisa kakhulu?" Nokho, lapho ubuhlobo bukhula, kuba sengathi akukho okungahambi kahle. Khona-ke iqiniso likushaya njengeloli futhi uyabona ukuthi ukubamba ubuhlobo ndawonye akuyona i-cakewalk, ikakhulukazi uma ukuxabana kungapheli.
Uma uziba izizathu ezisobala zokuthi uthathe ikhefu ebudlelwaneni, empeleni ubhala umlando wabo. Cha, izinkinga zakho ngeke ziphele ngomlingo ngemva kwekhefu. Lokho kuwukulindela okungenangqondo. Kodwa ukwehlukana kwesikhashana kungakusiza ukuthi ubone izinkinga zobudlelwano ngombono omusha futhi uthole umsuka wezinkinga phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho. Ngakho-ke, unquma kanjani ukuthi yimaphi amafulegi abomvu amakhulu ngokwanele ukuze agunyaze ukuthatha isikhala ebuhlotsheni?
Futhi ukuhlukana kobudlelwano kufanele kube isikhathi esingakanani? Iyiphi indlela enempilo yokwenza lokho? Ingabe kufanele ubeke imithetho ethile? Silapha ukuze siphendule yonke imibuzo yakho ngemibono evela kumqeqeshi wezempilo ngokomzwelo kanye nokuqaphela uPooja Priyamvada (oqinisekiswe ku-Psychological and Mental Health First Aid ovela eJohns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health kanye naseNyuvesi yaseSydney), ogxile ekwelulekeni ngezindaba zobudlelwano bangaphandle komshado, ukuhlukana, ukuhlukana, usizi, kanye nokulahlekelwa, ukubala ezimbalwa.
Kusho Ukuthini Ukuthatha Ikhefu Ebudlelwaneni?
Okuqukethwe
Ukuchitha isikhathi nihlukene noma ukuthatha ikhefu akusho ukuthi nihlukane kube kuhle. Kusho ukuthi nobabili nisuke niqhelelane nje nihlaziya izinkinga ezivele ebudlelwaneni. Nguwe onquma idethi yokuphela. Uzibekela eyakho imithetho yokuphulwa kobudlelwano. Futhi uma ungafuni ukugcina ufana noRoss noRachel ebudlelwaneni obukhona kanye no-off, kufanele ube nokucaca okuphelele ngokuthi kusho ukuthini lokhu kuhlukana kwenu nobabili.
Izizathu zokuphumula ebudlelwaneni zingahluka kusukela kumbhangqwana kuya kumbhangqwana. Kwabanye, izinkinga zokuthembana zingaba yisizathu sokucindezela inkinobho yokumisa. Kwabanye, kungaba ukulwa okungapheli nokuxabana. Azikho izizathu ezifanele noma ezingalungile lapha. Ngisho noma ubulokhu ucabanga ngokuthi “Ingabe ukuphumula kungasindisa ubudlelwano?” khona-ke lokho nakho kuyisizathu esifanelekile njenganoma yisiphi.
"Ukuhlukana kobudlelwano kusho ukugcina ibanga elithile bese niphinde nixhumane nomlingani ngemva kwesikhathi nihlukene. Kungase kuhilele noma kungahileli ukuhlukana ngokomzimba. Lesi sikhathi siyadingeka ukuze niphinde nibuyele esimweni esibi noma isigameko kunoma yiluphi ubudlelwano. Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungabusindisa kanjani ubuhlobo bakho ekuhlukaneni, lena enye indlela yokubhekana nakho," kuchaza uPooja.
Uma uzimisele ngokuthatha ikhefu lesikhashana, qiniseka ukuthi uqinisile. Uma sekuphumile emoyeni, kuzodala ukungabaza okukhulu ngobuhlobo bakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, awutholi ithuba eliningi ngalokhu. Ukuthatha ikhefu kaningi ebudlelwaneni kungalimaza isisekelo sokwethembana phakathi kwabalingani ababili. Khumbula, uzozwa zonke izinhlobo zezeluleko zokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni kodwa impendulo yangempela kuphela izovela ekukhulumisaneni nomlingani wakho. Ukuthuthukisa ukuxhumana kuzokwenza ingxenye yomsebenzi kuwe.
Ingabe zikhona ezinye izindlela zokuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni?
Ngokusho kocwaningo , imibhangqwana yase-US engu-6%–18% esashadile ihlukane ngesikhathi esithile emshadweni wayo. Ngakho-ke, awukho esimweni sokucabanga ngendlela yokuthatha ikhefu elinempilo emshadweni. Ukuthatha ikhefu lokuzinakekela nokukhula komuntu siqu kuzwakala njengokukhetha okunengqondo. Uma kukhona, kuzogcina ubuhlobo bakho busha kuphela. Kodwa futhi kubalulekile ukuthi nibe sesimweni esifanayo ngalesi sinqumo futhi nizimisele ukubuyela kumlingani wakho ngemva kwekhefu lokucaca.
Ukuthatha ikhefu lobudlelwano akukuniki igunya lokuphuma uphuthume futhi ulale nabantu abahlukene phakathi namahora amabili alandelayo. Kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi wena noma umlingani wakho nilahlekelwe isithakazelo ebudlelwaneni noma nizibandakanye nomunye umuntu angeke kukhishwe. Uma lowo mcabango ukwethusa, ungase ufune ukuhlola ezinye izindlela zokuthatha ikhefu ebuhlotsheni:
- Setha okunye imingcele yobudlelwano obunempilo futhi unamathele kubo. Hlonipha indawo yomuntu siqu yozakwenu
- Yiba nenhliziyo nenhliziyo nomlingani wakho. Beka zonke izinkinga zakho etafuleni. Khuluma ngakho ngendlela ephusile ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa ukuphola kwakho
- Ukuzindla kubalulekile. Cabanga ukuthi ufaka isandla kanjani ezinkingeni zobudlelwano bakho nokuthi ungazibophezela kuphi ngezenzo zakho
- Gxila emisebenzini yabashadikazi. Zama ukubeka phambili ukuchitha isikhathi esihle nomlingani wakho. Mhlawumbe cabanga ngokwelashwa kwabashadikazi. Ngokulandelayo, kuzokusiza wakhe kabusha isisekelo sobudlelwano bakho
- Uma izizathu zokuhlala ndawonye zingabonakali ziqinile ngokwanele, cabanga ngokuhlukana
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Iminyaka Eyinkulungwane - Izinkinga Eziyi-6 Eziphezulu Zobudlelwano Nezixazululo
Ingabe ukuthatha ikhefu ebuhlotsheni ukuze ngizisebenzele kuwumbono omuhle?
"Bengicabanga ukuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni ukuze ngizisebenzele. Ingabe kuwumqondo omuhle?" Nokho, kunezikhathi empilweni lapho kuba nesidingo sokuzibona ukuthi ungubani ngaphandle kobudlelwano. Uma wesaba kakhulu ukuba wedwa futhi ugxume ngokushesha usuka kobunye ubuhlobo uye kobunye, akukuniki isikhathi sokululama noma sokuqaphela ukungazethembi kobudlelwano bakho.
Ngaphambi kokuthi ulahlekelwe 'yimina' futhi ube 'thina' ngokuphelele, umzamo wokugcina wokuxazulula izinkinga zakho siqu nokuvikela ubuntu bakho ungase uzuzise ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Uma lokho kusho ukuthatha ikhefu lezinyanga ezimbalwa bese ugibela izimpahla eNtshonalanga Yurophu noma ujoyine isikole sobuciko ukuze ulandele ukuthanda kwakho, makube njalo. Uma kwenzeka uhlela ukuthatha ikhefu ebuhlotsheni ukuze uzithole, nazi iziphakamiso ezimbalwa zendlela yokwenza lesi sikhathi ngokuhlukana:
- Setha umkhawulo wesikhathi wokuthi leli khefu lizohlala isikhathi esingakanani - izinsuku ezimbalwa noma isikhathi eside?
- Cacisa imibandela yakho nomlingani wakho - ingabe nisazoqhubeka nizibophezele komunye nomunye ngesikhathi sekhefu? Noma sebuphelile ubudlelwano?
- Kuthiwani ngokuxhumana? Ingabe uzolokhu uthintana ngocingo noma uzolandela umthetho wokungathintani ngokwenkolo?
- Thembeka kuwe ngokwakho. Ingabe uqinisekile ngo-100% ukuthi lokhu kuyisinqumo esifanele? Yiziphi izici zokuphila kwakho ozimisele ukusebenzela kuzo?
Izimpawu Eziyisi-9 Ozidingayo Ukuze Uthathe Ikhefu Ebudlelwaneni Bakho
Kusukela esikhathini esingakanani ukuhlukana kobudlelwane kuya ekuthatheni ikhefu ebudlelwaneni lapho nihlala ndawonye, kungase kube nenqwaba yemininingwane emincane yokuxazulula uma ususondele esinqumweni esibaluleke kangaka - nesinomsindo othusayo. Kodwa-ke, ngaphambi kokungena emininingwaneni, uhlelo lokuqala lwebhizinisi kufanele kube wukuqinisekisa ukuthi izimo zakho ziyakugunyaza ukunqanyulwa kobudlelwano.
Ungasho ukuthi ufuna ikhefu ngoba nje umlingani wakho ebukele uhlelo lwakho oluthandayo ngaphandle kwakho. Kodwa-ke, uma kunezimpawu ezingathi sína zokuthi udinga lesi sikhala ebudlelwaneni , kungase kube yisikhathi sokuyeka ukubheka ngakolunye uhlangothi. Futhi yiziphi lezo zimpawu? Nakhu lapho ukuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni kungumqondo omuhle:
1. Impi ihlale iseduze
Kwesinye isikhathi ukuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi kuba yinto engcono kakhulu empilweni yakho yengqondo. Uma ukuba ndawonye nomlingani wakho kubukeka njengochungechunge lwezingxoxo ezinzima, ungasinda kanjani emhlabeni ebugebengwini obungaka? Ngitshele, ingabe lezi zimo ezilandelayo ziyahambisana nawe?
- Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uthini, impi ibonakala iphuma emoyeni
- Usale uzibuza ukuthi ngabe wenzeni, kodwa ngaleso sikhathi, kuyobe sekwephuze kakhulu. Umdlalo wokuklabalasa usuqalile
- Uzizwa sengathi uhlala unyathela eqhweni elincanyana noma kufanele ucabange kabili ngaphambi kokusho noma yini
- Nina nobabili aninalwazi indlela yokuxhuma kabusha ngemva kokulwa, ngakho uthemba ukuthi ukuthula kuzokwenza iqhinga
- Kubonakala sengathi ungakhumbula izinkumbulo ezimbi kakhulu zobudlelwano bakho kunezinhle
Uma ufinyelela kuleso sigaba, ungazizwa unecala ngokufuna ukuhlukana nobudlelwano ngoba ngeke kusho lutho uma, ngesikhathi sokubusindisa, ulahlekelwa ukuthula kwengqondo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinselele Zobudlelwano Eziyi-11 Cishe Wonke Umuntu Okufanele Abhekane Nazo – Nezixazululo
2. Nina nobabili senivuliwe futhi, anisebenzi futhi
Uma abangani bakho bephendula ngokuthi “futhi?!!” ezindabeni zokuthi uhlukene nomuntu wakho, uyazi ukuthi aninabo ubudlelwano obuqinile. Ungumbhangqwana wephosta osemthethweni wobudlelwano bamuva naphambili. Izimpi zihlale ziseduze, futhi uma ezimbalwa zazo zibheda kakhulu, niyavimbana ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Kuphela nje nibuyelane ngemva kwesonto njengoba nihlale nikhathazekile, “Kusho ukuthini ukuthatha ikhefu entombazaneni? Uma ngiyinika indawo, ingabe izobuya?”
Thola ukuthi yini oyifunayo futhi kuzosiza ubudlelwano bakho kanye nempilo yakho yengqondo. Izinzuzo zokuvumela isikhala esanele ebudlelwaneni zidlula kakhulu izingozi ezikulezi zinguquko ezishintshashintshayo. Kufanele wazi ukuthi ukuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside kungcono kunokubanjwa kulowo mjikelezo omubi wobudlelwano obuphinde buphele obukushiya ukhathele ngokwengqondo.
“Lapho kunenkambiso emisiwe yokusondelana okujulile, ukungqubuzana, ukuhlukana, nokubuyisana, umuntu kudingeka acabange kabusha ubuhlobo nokuthi kungani buwela kule ndlela eyingozi.” Ingabe ikhefu lingabusindisa ubuhlobo? Impendulo emfushane ithi 'yebo. Okungenani, ngalesi sikhathi inganikeza umlingani ngamunye isikhathi nendawo ukuze kulungiswe izinto ezibalulekile futhi mhlawumbe kunciphise izindawo ezingqubuzanayo futhi kutholakale izisombululo ezingase zibe khona,” kusho u-Pooja.
3. Awukwazi ukubona ngeso lengqondo 'injabulo naphakade' nomlingani wakho
Omunye wemithetho eyisisekelo 'yokuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni' ukushintsha kabusha ukugxila ezidingweni zakho. Uma unomuzwa wokuthi ngisho nangemva kokuba ndawonye isikhathi eside, kukhona okungahambi kahle ebudlelwaneni benu noma awukwazi ukubona ikusasa langempela ngendlela izinto eziyiyo njengamanje, kufanele ucabange kabusha ukuthi ufuna ukuqhubeka kanjani. Kodwa kunezikhathi lapho singabaza ukuya phambili ngenxa yezinto eziningi zangaphandle. Ngezinye izikhathi asikwazi ukunquma phakathi “kwekhefu noma ukuhlukana?”.
Ukucindezeleka ngokocansi ngezinye izikhathi kungagcina abantu besebudlelwaneni obuyingozi, naphezu kokwazi ukuthi alikho ikusasa langempela lapho. Bazovuma ukunganaki izinto ezimbi ngoba nje izinto ezinhle zizwakala sengathi zifanele ubuhlungu. Kodwa uma uqaphela ukuthi awukwazi ukuqhubeka kanje, uyazi ukuthi udinga ukuphumula. Ekugcineni, kuzodingeka uxoxe ngemicabango yakho nomlingani wakho futhi ubhekane nezingxoxo ezinzima kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ufuna kangakanani ukuzivimba.
4. Thatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni uma ungakwazi ukubheka ngale kwalowo ophula isivumelwano
Ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ushadile futhi uqaphela ukuthi imibono yezepolitiki yomlingani wakho ayikude kakhulu neyakho. Noma mhlawumbe uthole ukuthi bathanda izinto ezimbalwa ongeke uzibheke ngalé kwazo. Mhlawumbe kukhona ingxabano ehlala iphindaphinda ngenxa yayo. Ungase uziphoqe ukuthi uyishaye indiva, kodwa ihlala ibuya ukuze iqale enye ingxabano. Kithina, kubonakala sengathi yisikhathi esifanele sokuhlukana kobudlelwano. Ngubani owaziyo ukuthi kungase kuqinise isibopho senu bese nibuya ningalimalanga njengomunye wezindaba zempumelelo zokuhlukana kobudlelwano.
Kulokho, u-Pooja uthi, "Lokhu kungase kube okomuntu siqu kumbhangqwana ngamunye. Ngokwesibonelo, ake sikhulume ngemingcele mayelana nokungathembeki. Abanye bangase bacabange ukudlala ngothando nabanye njengokwenqaba okuqinile, kuyilapho kungase kube khona imibhangqwana evumelana kahle nabalingani bayo abathumelelana imiyalezo yocansi nabanye abantu inqobo nje uma ingaphatheki kahle. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi imuphi umkhawulo noma imithetho ebekwe yibo bobabili abalingani ebudlelwaneni obunjalo bangakwamukela ngokuphelele lokho, uma bethandana, bangakwamukela lokho. kungaba inkomba enhle yokuthatha ikhefu ukuze uzihlole, kanye nokubuyisana - uma kukhona."
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-12 Zokulungisa Ubudlelwano Obunobuthi
5. Izinsuku ezimbalwa ngaphandle kokuxhumana zibonakala zidlula
Yebo, kukhona ukungalungi okuthile kokuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni, futhi akekho ozibona ezimisele ukushiya ubuhlobo obuhle ukuze abe yedwa. Kodwa lapho ungakhulumi nomlingani wakho uzizwa kulula kunokuzama ukudlula kuye, ukwehlukana kafushane kungase kukunike ithuba lokunquma ngokuzenzakalelayo ukuthi lo muntu ukufanele yini ukubambelela kuye noma kufanele uqhubekele phambili ngesizotha. Sinawe uma ucabanga ukuthatha ikhefu ebuhlotsheni besikhathi eside ngoba:
- Unomuzwa wokuthi ubudlelwano bukwenza okubi kakhulu kunokuhle futhi kukhona ulaka kunenjabulo esibophweni sakho
- Ngemva nje kwezimpi zenu ezimbi ezingenakugwenywa, nihlala ninikezana ukuthulisa
- Izinsuku lapho ningakhulumisani nizizwa ningcono kakhulu kunalapho nenza
- Yonke imilayezo ethunyelwa nguzakwenu ikwenza ufune ukukhiya ifoni yakho futhi ungayigcini
- Awubheke ngabomvu ukuxazulula noma yiziphi izimpi futhi ungase ucabange ngisho nokuhlukana izikhathi eziningi
6. Okulindelweyo akufani
Mhlawumbe umuntu oyedwa osebudlelwaneni bebanga elide ubecabanga ukuthi uzobe ukhuluma ngocingo ngaso sonke isikhathi kodwa omunye ucabanga ukuthi 'ukuthumela imiyalezo' kuzokwenza kahle. Noma mhlawumbe ubufuna okuthile okungajwayelekile, kodwa-ke, uzakwenu uqhamuka nama roses ayishumi nambili kanye namathikithi okuya ekhonsathini eqhele ngezinyanga eziyisithupha. Khohlwa ukuthatha isikhala ebudlelwaneni, uzofuna ukubaleka uma lokho kwenzeka.
UFlo, umnikazi wesitolo sezinto zakudala wase-Utah, uyaxoxa, “Sebenzisa lesi sikhathi ukuthola lokhu kungalingani kokulindelekile ebuhlotsheni bakho . Lapho lokhu kwenzeka kimi muva nje, futhi le ndoda ifuna isikhala, ngangilokhu ngicabanga: Kusho ukuthini ukuthatha ikhefu kumfana? Uma efuna ikhefu, uzobuya? WABUYA, futhi kulokhu sasazi kahle ukuthi sifunani njengabantu ngabanye futhi sakwazi ukukhuluma ngakho ngaphandle kokwesaba noma ukwahlulela.”
Kungakho kuwumqondo omuhle ukuxhumana ngqo nomlingani wakho mayelana nohlobo lokubandakanyeka olufunayo kunokuba nithathe amakhefu amaningi ebudlelwaneni. "Ubuhlobo obunempilo abukho nje ukubukana ngothando kodwa ukubheka ndawonye ezinhlosweni ezifanayo ohlangothini olufanayo. Uma lokhu kushoda, kuzoba nokungafani okusobala kokulindela okuvela kuye, kusuka kumlingani, nobudlelwane, okuholela ezingxabano. Abalingani kudingeka bahambe kancane ukuze baqonde lokhu kumunyu futhi babone lesi simo ngaphansi kwesibonakhulu ngabanye," kusho uPooja.
7. Umona, ukungazethembi, kanye nezindaba zokwethembana ziba nzima kakhulu ukuzisingatha
Ukucabanga ngokuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni uma nihlala ndawonye kungaba yinto enkulu. Phela, nizophazamisa izimpilo zenu futhi niphume endaweni enikhululeke kuyo. Ngokuvamile, imibhangqwana ivumela izinkinga zikhule ngoba ukuthutha nokuba wedwa kuzwakala kuthusa kakhulu. Kodwa-ke, ingabe ukuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni kuyasiza ezimweni ezilandelayo? Yebo.
- Izindaba ezinjengomona, ukungazethembi, nokungathenjwa sezikhule kangangokuthi uzizwa ukhungathekile ngaso sonke isikhathi.
- Ukubuzwa ngemininingwane emincane yempilo yakho njalo kukushiya ubambe ongezansi
- Uzakwethu uphrojekthi yokungazethembi kwabo kuwe
- Udela impilo yakho yengqondo ukuze uhlale usebudlelwaneni nozakwenu olawulayo
Bese ukusho ukuthi “Sisekhefu” kuvumelekile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ninesikhathi esingakanani nindawonye noma ukuthi nizimisele kangakanani ngomunye nomunye.
8. Uma uzwa sengathi woniwe, yisikhathi sokuthatha indawo kumuntu wakho
Isici esivamile sobuhlobo obunobuthi ukuthi omunye umlingani akakunaki lokho omunye akushoyo. Uma kunjalo, uzoqala ukuzizwa sengathi umbono wakho awunandaba nokuthi yini oyifunayo noma oyilindele ngokuvamile ayinakwa. Kungazizwa kukululaza futhi kuzomane kukushiye ungajabule, uzibuze ukuthi “Ngidinga ikhefu ukuze ngicabange kabusha indawo yami kulobu buhlobo kodwa kuthiwani uma umlingani wami ethatha okuhlukile! Kusho ukuthini ukuthatha ikhefu kumfana (noma intombazane)?”
Ubudlelwano buhloselwe ukukwenza ujabule futhi kucebise impilo yakho. Uma eyakho yehluleka ukuhlangabezana nalesi simiso esilula, akekho ongasola wena ngokuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi. Ungahuduli izinyawo kulesi sinqumo. Ngezinye izikhathi, kufanele uzibeke kuqala, futhi ukuzizwa ungabalulekile ebudlelwaneni bakho kuyisizathu esihle sokwenza kanjalo. Iba nengxoxo eqotho nophathina wakho, mazise indlela ozizwa ngayo ngaphandle kokubeka noma ikuphi ukusola, futhi ucele isikhathi esithile sokuphumula.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe Isoka Lakho Elinomona Liyalawula Futhi Liyalawula?
9. Uqamba amanga ukuze ugweme ukulwa
Noma awusho izinto ezithile ngoba uyazi ukuthi ngokuqinisekile kuzoholela empini. Ungase uqambe amanga ngokuthi uchitha isikhathi nobani ngisho noma ungenzi lutho olubi. Ukuqamba amanga amancane ngezinye izikhathi akulimazi. Kodwa ebudlelwaneni obuhle, kufanele ukwazi ukutshela umlingani wakho noma yini ngaphandle kokwesaba impendulo. Uma othile eqamba amanga ebudlelwaneni ukuze enze impilo ibe lula, kumane kubangele izinkinga ezinkulu kamuva.
Uma ufuna ukwazi ukuthi ungaqala kanjani kabusha nomuntu, kufanele ubuyisele ukholo nokwethembeka ebuhlotsheni. Uma ibanga elincane lenza ubuqili, thatha lelo thuba. “Uma umuntu engakwazi ukwethembeka kumlingani wakhe, kusho ukuthi uyamesaba, akasamethembi, noma uvele waphelelwa uthando. Ingabe isikhathi sokuhlukana singabusiza ubuhlobo obunje? Yebo, kuzo zontathu lezi zimo, ukuhlaba ikhefu okwesikhashana kunganikeza bobabili abalingani ithuba lokucabanga kabusha ngokonakala futhi bakulungise,” kusho uPooja, enezela, “Uma ukukhulumisana phakathi kwengxabano kuqhubeka ngokuthula noma ukuxabana phakathi kwengxabano. ubudlelwano ekwenzeni.”
Amathiphu ayi-6 okwenza ikhefu lobudlelwano lisebenze
Isikhathi lapho izinto ziphuma endaweni yethu yokunethezeka futhi sibonakala silahlekelwa ukulawula impilo noma, kulokhu, ubuhlobo, sizizwa silahlekile. Ngeke ukholwe ukuthi zingaki izingcingo engizithole zivela kubangani ngo-2 am ngezwi eliqhaqhazelayo, bethi, “Hey, kusho ukuthini ukuthatha ikhefu entombazaneni uma ithi idinga ukuphumula?” noma “Uyazi, mina nesoka lami sisekhefini futhi ngiyamkhumbula. Ungangitshela ukuthi ngingabhekana kanjani nokuthatha ikhefu ebuhlotsheni?”
Ngakho-ke, nansi icebiso lokuqala, ungesabi. Uphilile! Ungagxili ebubini bokuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni, kunalokho, yenza usuku ngalunye lube usizo phakathi nalesi sikhathi. Ukuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni kunempilo . Akunandaba ukuthi isinqumo sikabani sokuhlala kude, esakho noma somlingani wakho, lezi zinto eziyisithupha akufanele zixoxwe ngazo ukuze uthole ikhefu elinempilo:
- Ngaphandle uma nobabili niyazi ukuthi kungani leli khefu lenzeka, wonke umbono uba iphuzu elibalulekile. Ngakho-ke, qiniseka ukuthi unengxoxo yomuntu siqu futhi uyicacise kahle
- Imithetho eyisisekelo ibalulekile: Ingabe uzophola nabanye abantu? Nizokhuluma (noma ningakhulumi) kangaki? Ingabe uvunyelwe ukungena masonto onke?
- Ukusetha umkhawulo wesikhathi esivivinyayo kuzonigcina niphilile nobabili ngoba akekho othanda ukulinda isikhathi esinqunyiwe ngaphandle kwanoma yisiphi isiqiniseko.
- Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, cabanga ngezinkinga zakho, kokubili komuntu siqu kanye nobudlelwane. Ungazama ukubhala ijenali, ukucwaninga okwengeziwe ngendaba, noma ubone umelaphi ukuze enze umqondo wemizwa yakho
- Ngesikhathi esifanayo, sebenzela ezinhlosweni zakho siqu futhi ubone ukuthi zisahambisana yini nezomlingani wakho
- Ukuthi ufuna ukuhlanganisa izinto noma uguqule leli khefu libe ukuhlukana kokugcina, isinqumo kufanele sithathwe ngokuhlanganyela ngemva kokuphela kwekhefu.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Ukunqamuka kobudlelwano kusho ukuthi niqhelelana okwesikhashana ukuze nigxile kuwena noma nithole umbono omusha ngezinkinga zobudlelwano benu.
- Uma uhlala ulwa futhi ubambekile embuthanweni ophinda-phinda-usuka-futhi, ikhefu elifushane lingaba umqondo omuhle.
- Cabanga ngekhefu uma ungaliboni ikusasa nozakwenu noma nobabili niphatha kahle ngaphandle kokukhulumisana izinsuku zilandelana.
- Uma nobabili nizigwema ngamabomu izinkinga zenu, ukuhlehla ukuze nicabange ngakho kungaba usizo
- Beka imingcele ecacile nemigomo nemibandela eqinile ngaphambi kokungena kulolu hlelo
Manje njengoba usuyazi kahle indlela yokubhekana nokuhlukana kobudlelwano, akufanele kubhekwe njengokuphela kwendlela. Uma imithetho 'yokuhlukana kobudlelwano' ichazwe kahle futhi bobabili abalingani bayavumelana nalo mbono, kungaba yindlela enhle yokuqala kabusha ebudlelwaneni . Siyaqiniseka ukuthi uzofika kwenye yalezo zindaba zempumelelo zokuhlukana kobudlelwano bothando!
Kunjalo, kufanele uzimisele ukwenza umzamo odingekayo ukuze uxazulule izinkinga zakho ngabanye ngalesi sikhathi, ukuzazisa, futhi unqume ukuthi yini oyifunayo ebuhlotsheni. Kwezinye izimo, ikhefu lingasiza abalingani ababili babone ukuthi bangcono ngokuhlukana kunokubuyelana. Okubalulekile ukuthi, nakuba umphumela ungase ungabi yinjabulo naphakade, ikhefu liyobe seliyifezile injongo yalo.
Le ndatshana ibuyekezwe ngoJuni 2023.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Uma ulandela imithetho yekhefu lobudlelwano futhi ulisebenzise ngempumelelo ikhefu lakho, ingasebenza. Ukuqhela ebuhlotsheni obukulimazayo kungakunikeza ukuthula kwengqondo futhi uhlole ukuthi yini engakwenza ujabule. Ngisho noma unquma ngesikhathi sekhefu ukuthi ubudlelwano benu akufanele buqhubeke, ikhefu lisengathathwa njengeliyimpumelelo ngoba likusize wanquma ukuthi ungajabula kanjani.
Ukuhlukana ebudlelwaneni kuvame ukuhlala phakathi kwesonto noma inyanga futhi kunganwebeka uma bobabili abalingani bebona kudingekile. Kodwa-ke, uma ihlala isikhathi eside ngokungavamile njengezinyanga ezi-3-4, maningi amathuba okuthi lokho kuwukwehlukana kunekhefu. Kubalulekile ukuthola ukuthi nobabili nifuna ukuthi isikhathi sithathe isikhathi esingakanani. Ukwelula ikhefu ngoba udinga isikhathi esengeziwe sokuhlola izinto kuyinto evamile futhi.
Yebo, izithandani zingabuyelana ngemva kwekhefu, uma sekwenziwe kahle. Lesi sikhathi sinikeza imibhangqwana isikhathi sokucabanga ngendlela yokubhekana nezinkinga ezibhekene nazo. Ngakho, eminye imibhangqwana ingase igcine yakha izibopho eziqinile kunangaphambili. Uma unquma ukusebenza ebuhlotsheni ngemva kwekhefu, uzokwazi ukwenza kanjalo njengoba manje usunombono ongcono wokuthi yiziphi izinkinga nokuthi ungathola kanjani okuvumelanayo.
Izinto Ezingu-11 Odinga Ukuzazi Ukuze Ube Nobudlelwano Obumnandi Obuphumelelayo
Intombi Enesikhwele: Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Zokuthi Uvikela Ngokudlulele Futhi Ukushayela Amantongomane
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
