Ubudlelwano obunobuthi bungabangela umonakalo omkhulu kubantu, izibopho phakathi kwabantu kanye nemindeni. Kungakho kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi bulungiswa kanjani ubudlelwano obunobuthi. Nokho, kungase kubonakale kukhohlisayo ngoba ubudlelwano obunjalo abuvami ukubonisa ukuthambekela okunobuthi zisuka nje.
Ngokuvamile kunalokho, lobu budlelwano buqala njengobumnandi futhi obujabulisayo, obulingisa izingxenye zobudlelwano obujwayelekile. Phakathi nalesi sigaba se-honeymoon, umbhangqwana uba nezinkumbulo ezanele ezijabulisayo, ezibambelela kuzo lapho ubuthi buqala ukukhulisa ikhanda labo elibi.
Lokhu, futhi, kunciphisa ububanzi bokuzama ukwenza ubudlelwano bungabi nobuthi ngoba esikhundleni sokubhekana neqiniso elibuhlungu elibagqolozele ebusweni, abantu abavaleleke ebuhlotsheni obunjalo babambelela kulokho 'okujabulisayo' okwedlule njengendlela yokuphika.
Ukuze ukwazi ukulungisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi abantu bayashintsha. Ngalolu shintsho, ubudlelwano babo buyashintsha. Kwesinye isikhathi kube ngcono, kwabanye, kube kubi kakhulu. Okuwukuphela kwendlela yokuhlehlisa ukuziphatha okunobuthi ukuvuma amaphethini ayinkinga njengoba uwabona evela futhi ubheke phambili izixazululo.
Yiziphi Izimbangela Ezivamile Nezimpawu Zobudlelwane Obunobuthi?
Okuqukethwe
Ukuze ukwazi ukulungisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi , noma okungenani wenze ubudlelwano bungabi nobuthi, udinga ukuqonda ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukuba phakathi kwabo. Ubudlelwano obunobuthi yilobo obususa ukuzethemba kwakho, budle injabulo yakho futhi bungcolise indlela ozibheka ngayo wena nomhlaba.
Isizathu sokuthi kungani ubudlelwano buphenduka ubuthi singahluka. Esinye sezimbangela ezivame kakhulu zobuthi ukuvaleleka ebuhlotsheni nomlingani onobuthi. Umuntu odlula empilweni, eshiya umkhondo wobudlelwano obuphukile, izinhliziyo kanye nabantu. Kodwa lokhu akusona ukuphela kwesici sobuthi.
Kuvamile ngokufanayo ukuthi umbhangqwana uphenduke ubuthi, ngenxa yezidingo eziningi ezingahlangatsheziwe, umlando ongemnandi, imizwa emibi, amagqubu kanye nokucasukelana. Ezimweni ezinjalo, ubuhlobo ngokuvamile buqala bunempilo. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, imithwalo yokudumala nokunganeliseki iba namandla kangangokuthi iqala ukungcolisa ubudlelwano futhi ibe nomthelela omubi kubantu abakubo.
Ukuthi ufuna ukulungisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi noma uzilungise ngemuva kobudlelwano obunobuthi, ukuqaphela izimpawu ezibomvu kubalulekile. Okubalulekile ukuthi ukuziphatha okunobuthi akushabalali endaweni engenalutho. Kuhlale kunezimbangela eziyimbangela eziba yizicupha zokuthambekela nezimpawu ezithile ezinobuthi. Futhi lezi zingaba khona ku-spectrum.
Ukukusiza uhlehlise ukuziphatha okunobuthi, ake siqale sibhekisise ezinye zezimbangela zokuziphatha okunobuthi kanye nezimpawu noma amaphethini aqanjwa yikho:
| Izimbangela Zobudlelwano obunobuthi | Izimpawu Zobudlelwane Obunobuthi |
Ukungahambisani njengabalingani bothando | Uma ningafanelani kahle, ningakhula masinyane ekuvumelaniseni. Lokhu kungakwenza uzizwe unesizungu futhi ungabonakali. Ngokuvamile, le mizwa ingaba nomthelela enhlalakahleni yengqondo yomunye noma bobabili abalingani. |
| Ukungazethembi kanye Nomona | Umlingani ongavikelekile nonomona ufuna omunye abe yedwa, futhi angase amhlukanise nabangane bakhe, umndeni kanye nalabo abasondelene kakhulu nomlingani wabo wothando. Ukuzihlukanisa kuwuphawu lokuba sebudlelwaneni nomuntu onobuthi. |
| Izinkinga ezingaxazululiwe kusukela ebuntwaneni noma ebudlelwaneni bangaphambilini | Izinkinga ezingaxazululiwe zingaholela ezimpawini ezinobuthi njengokulawula ukuziphatha, ukungathembeki, ukuqamba amanga |
| Ukubusa nokuphathwa ngozakwethu oyedwa | Uma usothandweni nomuntu onobuthi, nakanjani angazama ukulawula impilo yakho nokuziphatha kwakho ngokusebenzisa amasu okukhohlisa anjengokukhanyisa igesi, ukukhanda ngamatshe, ulaka, ukuthanda umuntu oyedwa, ukugxeka. |
| Intukuthelo noma intukuthelo | Lapho intukuthelo noma intukuthelo yomunye umlingani iba imbangela yobuthi ebudlelwaneni, omunye uzithola ehamba phezu kwamagobolondo amaqanda. Lokhu kubonakala njengokwesaba ukukhuluma okucabangayo noma ukulandela inhliziyo yakhe. Ngokuvamile, umlingani othintekayo uqala ukuqamba amanga nokungathembeki ukuze avimbele ukuqhuma kwentukuthelo nezingxabano ezishisayo. |
| I-phobia yokuzibophezela | I-phobia yokuzibophezela kungaholela ezimpawini zobudlelwano ezinobuthi njengokungabi nesiqiniseko ngesimo sobudlelwano, amandla okucindezela, kanye nokuzizwa ubambeke endaweni lapho ungekho khona noma uphumile |
Indlela Yokulungisa Ubudlelwano Obunobuthi Futhi Uphulukise Ndawonye?
Uma uhlonza noma yiziphi zalezi zimbangela nezimpawu, kungokwemvelo ukuthi ubuzibuza ukuthi bulungiswa kanjani ubudlelwano obunobuthi? Okubaluleke nakakhulu, ingabe kungenzeka ukususa ubuthi ebuhlotsheni futhi uphulukise ndawonye?
Sikhulume nomqeqeshi wezempilo kanye nomeluleki uJoie Bose ukuthola amathiphu okusiza ngomshado noma ubudlelwano obunobuthi.
"Ubudlelwano buba yingozi nini? Uma buqala ukukulimaza! Lokhu kwenzeka lapho unikela kakhulu kangangokuthi ulahlekelwa nguwe futhi ungabi yinto ehamba phambili. Uqala ukucabanga ngomunye umuntu njengobaluleke kakhulu kunawe. Uma ufuna ukuthi kushintshe, khumbula ukuthi umlingani wakho ngeke akuthande ekuqaleni. Ngoba umlingani wakho ukujwayele ukuba umata emnyango. Kodwa uma uzibophezele ekwenzeni izinguquko ezincane," kusho imiphumela enkulu ngokuphindaphindiwe.
Ukulungisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi, u-Joie uncoma indlela yevazi endala.
Uthi, “Kudingeka uzinakekele njengoba ubungenza ngevazi endala enothuli.
Khipha ivazi ekhoneni: Zikhiphe ekhoneni bese uzitshela ukuthi unezinto ozithandayo nezidingo okudingeka zigcwaliswe. Kwamukele lokho.
Pholisha ivazi: Zithokozise. Zilungise. Gunda izinwele. Bukeka futhi uzizwe kahle. Yenza into oyithandayo. Landela izifiso zakho. Ngisho nesenzo esincane njengokuzithengela izicathulo ezintsha singaba yinto ekwenza uzizwe kahle. Umqondo uwukuzenza ubukeke umuhle ngokomzimba futhi uzizwe ngendlela efanayo ngaphakathi. Kufanele ukwazi ukuzibuka esibukweni bese uthi, 'Wow!'
Bukisa ngevazi: Phuma uyoxhumana nabantu ngaphandle komlingani wakho. Yiba nesikhathi esimnandi ngaphandle kokwesaba.
Lokhu kungase kubonakale kulula kodwa akunjalo. Uma usebudlelwaneni obunobuthi ukufika lapha kunzima. Okuwukuphela kwendlela yokuphumelela ukunamathela kulesi simiso, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umlingani wakho uthini mayelana nokuthatha kwakho okusha empilweni.
Umlingani wakho ngeke neze akwenze kube lula. Uzozama ukukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo futhi akulawule. Kodwa hlala uqinile. Unganaki lokho umlingani akushoyo. Khuthaza umlingani wakho ukuba enze okufanayo, lapho ezama ukukuhlazisa noma ekubiza ngamagama anobugovu noma amanye. Uma ungakwazi ukuzithanda, ngokuqinisekile awukwazi ukuthanda omunye umuntu.
Yenza lokhu izinyanga eziyisi-6 futhi lokhu kuzoba umkhuba kuwe. Kwenze ngo-12 futhi lokhu okusha uzoba ojwayelekile kuwe kumlingani wakho. Kancane kancane, ubuthi bobudlelwano benu buzoshabalala.”
Empeleni, le ndlela imayelana nokufunda kabusha ukuzenza kuqala ukuze uhlehlise ngempumelelo ukuziphatha okunobuthi ebudlelwaneni bakho. Nazi izindlela ezingama-21 ongakwenza ngazo lokho futhi uphulukise ndawonye:
1. Hlola ukuthi ungakwazi yini ukulungisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi
Yebo, kungenzeka ukulungisa ubuhlobo obunobuthi futhi uphulukise njengombhangqwana. Kodwa akubona bonke ubuthi obudalwe bulingana. Ivamise ukubonakala ku-spectrum ebanzi yamazinga ahlukahlukene okuqina.
Nakuba ungase ufune ngobuqotho ukulungisa umonakalo ebudlelwaneni futhi ululame njengombhangqwana, kubalulekile ukuhlola ukuthi ingabe umphumela ongokoqobo. Isibonelo, noma yibuphi ubudlelwano lapho ubuthi buphumela ekuhlukunyezweni noma kubudlova abufanele ukuhlengwa. Eqinisweni, ubudlelwano obunjalo bungaphezu kokuhlengwa.
Ngokufanayo, uma omunye wabalingani engazimisele ukwenza umsebenzi wangaphakathi odingekayo ukuze unciphise ubuthi, ayikho indlela ongathuthuka ngayo.
2. Thatha ikhefu
Impendulo yokuthi ungalungisa kanjani ubudlelwano obunobuthi imvamisa ilele ekuziqhelelaniseni nomlingani wakho isikhathi esithile. Uma usuthathe umbono ongenantshisekelo wokuthi ungakwazi yini ukulungisa noma cha lokho okonakele ebudlelwaneni bakho futhi ubone ithemba ngekusasa, thatha isikhashana ebudlelwaneni.
Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, landela uMthetho Wokungaxhumani ngokwenkolo. Leli banga lizonivumela nobabili ukuthi nixhumane futhi nigxile ezidingweni zenu ngabanye. Ngaphandle kwalokho, lesi sikhathi esihlukene singasebenza njengomugqa ohlukanisa izinsuku zenu zobuthi kusukela esikhathini eninqume ukususa ubuthi ebudlelwaneni. Kukunikeza ithuba lokusetha kabusha ubuhlobo.
Yiqiniso, lokhu kuba inselele nakakhulu uma ufuna usizo ngomshado onobuthi. Uma kunjalo, omunye wabashadile angakwazi ukwenza enye indlela yokuhlala okwamanje. Okunye, unganquma ukunciphisa ukuthintana naye phakathi naleli 'khefu'.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Gwema Ukuba Sebudlelwaneni Obunobuthi Ngokulahla Lezi Zinto
3. Gxila kuwena
Ukuze uhlehlise ukuziphatha okunobuthi, udinga ukubeka phambili izidingo zakho, okulindele kanye nezifiso. Njengoba u-Joie esikisela, landela indlela yevazi endala ukuze ugxile kuwena phakathi nalesi sikhathi esihlukene ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Uma uthatha isinqumo sokuxhuma kabusha, yenza umzamo oqotho wokuhambisana nalezi zinqubo isikhathi esiyizinyanga eziyisi-6 kuya onyakeni, noma zize zibe ngaphakathi kokuthi 'okujwayelekile okusha'. Lokhu kuzokuvimbela ukuba ubuyele emaphethini amadala, angenampilo.
Umkhuba wokuzibeka phambili awuxoxisani uma ufuna ukuzilungisa ngemuva kobudlelwano obunobuthi. Ukuze ukwazi ukwenza lokhu ngaphandle kwecala, udinga ukubheka njengesenzo sokuzithanda hhayi ubugovu.
4. Funda i-ABCD yokuziphatha okunobuthi
Ubudlelwano obunobuthi bune-ABCD yabo - ukumangalelwa, ukusola, ukugxeka, izimfuno. Noma iyiphi noma zonke lezi zici zingadlanga ebudlelwaneni lapho uzakwethu oyedwa noma bobabili bebonisa izici ezinobuthi.
Ukuze uphole kulobu buthi futhi ulungise umonakalo ebudlelwaneni, wena nomlingani wakho kufanele nizibophezele ekuqedeni lo mjikelezo. Uma uqaphela ukuthi wena noma umlingani wakho nidonsela kunoma iyiphi yalezi zindlela eziyinkinga, ungahluleki ukudonsela ukunaka kulelo qiniso.
Ukwenza lokhu kuba lula kakhulu uma bobabili abalingani beqonda ukuthi abaxabene kodwa balwa nokuthambekela okuyinkinga ndawonye njengeqembu.
5. Thatha umthwalo wokuhlehlisa ukuziphatha okunobuthi
Isisho sokuthi kuthatha ababili ku-tango sihambisana kahle ne-gambit yobudlelwano obunobuthi. Ngisho noma ubuthi buqaliswe ukuziphatha okuyinkinga okuboniswa omunye uzakwethu, omunye ngokungaqondile nangokushesha ungena kukho.
Kuqala njengemvelo yokusinda ukubhekana nayo yonke igeyimu yokusola, izinsolo, ukulwa okubi kanye nokukhohlisa kwemizwelo. Ngaphambi kokuthi uqaphele, usuyingxenye yenkinga.
Ngakho-ke, lapho unquma ukulungisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi, ukuzihlola kubalulekile. Zinike isikhathi sokuhlola indima yakho ekwandiseni nasekukhuliseni izinkinga zobudlelwano bakho. Futhi qiniseka ngakho phambi komlingani wakho.
Bakhuthaze ukuba benze okufanayo.
6. Melana nesifiso sokubeka icala
Njengoba ukushintshana icala kube yingxenye yobudlelwano bakho isikhathi eside, isifiso sokukhulula wonke umthwalo wemfanelo ngokubeka icala lezenzo zakho kumlingani wakho - noma okuphambene nalokho - singaba sikhulu.
Ngisho noma uzama ukuzibophezela ngesenzo sakho, ungase uzithole utshela umlingani wakho ngobuqili ukuthi ukuqale kanjani lokhu kuziphatha okuyinkinga. Lokho kufanele kugwenywe ngazo zonke izindleko uma ufuna ukwenza noma iyiphi inqubekelaphambili yangempela ekuhlehliseni amaphethini okuziphatha anobuthi.
7. Sebenzisa ulimi 'I'
Enye yezindlela ezilula zokwenza ubudlelwano bungabi nobuthi ukusebenzisa ulimi elithi 'I' esikhundleni sokuthi 'wena'. Yisho ukuthi umlingani wakho kukhona akwenzile ukuze akuxazulule. Esikhundleni sokuthi, 'wenza lokhu njalo…', zama ukuthi 'Ngizizwa ngingakhululekile uma wenza…'.
Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuthi uveze okukukhathazayo kanye nemibono yakho ngaphandle kokuyenza ilume noma yenze umlingani wakho azizwe evalelwe. Ngalokho, ungathuthukisa amathuba akho okuthola impendulo enhle kakhulu kubo.
8. Zenze ubonakale futhi uzwiwe
Enye yezici ezichazayo zobudlelwano obunobuthi ukuthi umlingani oseduze uvame ukuhamba ngamagobolondo amaqanda ukuze agweme ukubangela elinye. Lokhu kuthambekela kokuvala imizwa yakho, ukuxubha izindaba ngaphansi kukakhaphethi futhi empeleni uzenze ungabonakali ebudlelwaneni kungaholela ekucasukeni ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Ngaphandle kwalokho, umlingani wakho angase angazi nokuthi izenzo zakhe zikwenza uzizwe ngale ndlela. Ngakho-ke, ukuze ususe ubuthi ebuhlotsheni kube kuhle, udinga ukuqala ukuzigomela. Uma umlingani wakho esho noma enza into ezwakala njengendelelo noma elimazayo, mazise kanjalo.
Yiqiniso, ngaphandle kokusola noma ukusola. Naka ukuthi ukwenza kanjalo kukwenza uzizwe ukhathazekile noma wethukile. Uma kunjalo, kungase kube nezinkinga ezingakaxazululeki okufanele ubhekane nazo ngosizo lochwepheshe njengomelaphi noma umeluleki.
9. Musa ukuqoqa izindaba ezindala
Uma kuziwa ekuziqiniseni, gxila ekuguquleni iqabunga elisha manje. Ungalethi izindaba zesikhathi esidlule ezingakaxazululwa esithombeni. Kuzokwenza kube nzima nakakhulu izinkinga phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho kunokuba kusize ukwenza ubudlelwano bungabi nobuthi.
Uma kunezinkinga ezidlule ongakwazi ukuziyeka noma unomuzwa wokuthi ngeke ukwazi ukuqala kabusha ngaphandle kokubhekana nazo, ukwenza kanjalo ngaphansi kokuqondiswa nokugadwa uchwepheshe oqeqeshiwe kuyindlela efanele.
Ngokuvamile asihlomele kahle ukuphatha kanye nokuxazulula imizwa evalelwe, okwenza ukuxazulula kwayo kucishe kungenzeki ngokwethu.
10. Cabangela ukwelashwa kwabashadile
Uma ufuna ukulungisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi lapho ukuthambekela okungenampilo nokungasebenzi kudala kwakha khona, ukwelashwa kwabashadile kuba yisidingo esingaphezu kwenketho. Ngokuvamile, imibhangqwana ayikwazi ukubona amaphethini ayinkinga ngokwawo. Okuncane kakhulu ukwephula bese esikhundleni sazo ngemikhuba enempilo.
Ezimweni ezinjalo, isiqondiso kanye nokungenelela kochwepheshe kuba yizidingo zokuqala zokulungisa umonakalo ebudlelwaneni. Ukwelashwa ngezingxoxo kungasiza imibhangqwana ukulungisa umonakalo futhi ilulame ndawonye.
Yazi ukuthi ukufuna usizo akulona uphawu lobuthakathaka noma ukwehluleka. Ngokuphambene nalokho, kuwuphawu lokuzibophezela kwakho ebudlelwaneni kanye nesifiso sokungayekeleli omunye nomunye ngisho nalapho kuba nzima.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukwelulekwa Ngobudlelwano - Konke Okudingeka Ukwazi
11. Qala ukubuyisela isikhala sakho ebudlelwaneni
Ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi, oyedwa uzakwethu uvame ukwehliselwa esimweni 'sombhede womnyango'. Izidingo, izifiso kanye nokulindelwe umlingani oyedwa kuqala ukubusa ubuhlobo. Ukuze kuhlaliswe kubo, enye iyancipha kakhulu futhi ingabonakali.
Ukwephula le phethini kuyingxenye ebalulekile 'yendlela yokulungisa ubuhlobo obunobuthi'. Njengoba u-Joie ebonisa, lo mzamo uzohlangatshezwa nokuphikiswa nguzakwethu osekujwayele ukwenza ngendlela yakhe.
Kodwa kufanele ubekezele kuze kube yilapho uthola ukuphumelela. Ungabuyeli emuva emizamweni yakho ukuze uvikele umlingani wakho ekulimaleni nasekukhathazekeni. Ngokwenza kanjalo, uzovumela kuphela ukuthambekela kwabo okungenampilo nakakhulu.
12. Yibani nobubele komunye nomunye
Ubuthi bengxenye eyodwa buqala ukukhuhla kwenye. Ngisho noma kunguwena ozizwa ungabonakali, ungezwakali, unciphile, kungenzeka ukuthi uye wahlakulela ukuthambekela okungenampilo njengendlela yokumelana.
Kungenjalo, uma ubuthi buwumphumela wokuguquguquka kobudlelwano obuyinkinga, bobabili ozakwethu bahlakulela ukuthambekela okungenampilo njengendlela yokuzivikela. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nalokhu nokulungisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi ukuthatha indlela yozwelo.
Kunokuba nibhekane, nezibhamu zokusola nokusolana zivutha bhe, zibeke ezicathulweni zomunye futhi uzame ukuqonda ukuthi zivelaphi. Mhlawumbe, bacindezelekile ngenxa yomsebenzi, izinkinga zezimali noma izinkinga namanye amalungu omndeni.
Nakuba kungekho kwalokhu okufanele kudlule njengezaba zokuziphatha okungalawuleki, ngokuqonda isiqalo sabo uyohlomela kangcono ukubasika kancane lapho kufanele khona.
13. Gxila othandweni
Ubudlelwano obunobuthi bugcwele ukukhohlisa kanye nedrama yemizwa kangangokuthi ingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu yobudlelwano bothando - uthando - ithatha indawo engemuva. Uma uzama ukususa ubuthi ebudlelwaneni, qondisa ukunaka kwakho othandweni.
Esikhundleni sokugxila ezinkingeni zakho, vumela zonke izizathu zokuthi uthande umlingani wakho zibuse i-headspace yakho. Lezi zizathu zingase zingafiki kuwe ngokwemvelo ekuqaleni. Ungase uzithole uzibuza ukuthi kungani nindawonye noma nizama ukulungisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi.
Ezimweni ezinjalo, kuyasiza ukubhala phansi izizathu zokuthi kungani umthanda umlingani wakho edayari noma ebhukwini lokubhalela. Lapho wenza kanjalo, qiniseka ukuthi lezi zizathu ziyizinkumbulo zamanje hhayi ezikude zesikhathi esidlule.
14. Zibophezele ekukhulumeni ngokwethembeka, okunempilo
Izinkinga zokuxhumana kanye nezithiyo kuyizona ezibangela ubuthi. Uma ningakwazi ukutshelana ukuthi nizizwa kanjani ngqo – kungakhathaliseki ukuthi inkinga inkulu noma incane kangakanani – umjikelezo wokuziphatha okunobuthi uqala ukusebenza.
Kungase kungabi njalo okwamanje. Kodwa uma uzindla, uzokwazi ukubona ngokucacile njengosuku ukuthi yizinto ezincane ezanqwabelana futhi zagcwala iqhwa kwaba umehluko obonakala ungenakulungiseka.
Kungakho ukuze uhlehlise ukuziphatha okunobuthi, kufanele uzibophezele emaphethini okuxhumana athembekile nanempilo. Nokho, ukuxhumana akumele kudidaniswe nokuphenywa ngemibuzo ebudlelwaneni.
Umqondo wukuthi kufanele ukwazi ukukhuluma okucabangayo ngaphandle kokwesaba, ukwesaba noma ukungabaza.
15. Ungakubalekeli izingxoxo ezikukhathazayo
Azikho izinqamuleli zokulungisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi. Kuyinqubo ethathe isikhathi eside egcwele izinqubo ezingaxazululi. Esinye sazo isidingo sokuba nezingxoxo ezingakhululekile wena nomlingani wakho eningase nizigweme isikhathi eside kakhulu.
Yisho ukuthi ukuthambekela kwakho okunobuthi kubangelwa isigameko sokungathembeki. Nakuba nikhethe ukuhlala ndawonye, anikabuyisana nomlingani wakho ngendlela efanele. Mhlawumbe, awuzange ukhulume ngakho ngokwanele. Noma wayengenakubathethelela iziphambeko zabo. Mhlawumbe, awuzange uzinike isikhathi sokucubungula imizwa yakho ngaphambi kokunquma ukuthi uhlale noma uhambe.
Manje njengoba uzama ukulungisa, kufanele uphinde uvule lawo manxeba amadala ukuze uzinike ithuba lokuphola. Nakulokhu futhi, ukwenza kanjalo ngosizo lomeluleki wobudlelwano noma umelaphi kuyinkambo enconyiwe yesenzo.
16. Funda ukuzethemba futhi
Umlingani onobuthi uvame ukusebenzisa amasu okulawula imizwa njengokukhanyisa igesi ukuze enze omunye angabaze umuzwa wakhe wokwahlulela. Lokhu empeleni kuyicebo lokukhombisa amandla ashukumisayo.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzama ukuzilungisa ngemva kobudlelwane obunobuthi noma ubudlelwano ngokwabo, zihlole ukuthi ingabe awuyethembi yini imicabango nemizwa yakho. Uma kunjalo, udinga ukwenza umsebenzi wokuvuselela lokho ukuzethemba kuwena.
Iqiniso lakho, ulwazi lwakho, imizwa yakho akumele kukhulunywe ngakho. Uma ufunda ukuma phansi, uzosiza futhi ukuphula amaphethini okukhanyisa isibani somlingani wakho. Leyo yinqubekelaphambili.
17. Veza ukugxeka ngendlela enempilo
Ukuthi ufuna ukwenza ubudlelwano bungabi nobuthi akusho ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho kufanele nivumelane ngaso sonke isikhathi. Uma ungavumelani nento eshiwo futhi yenziwe omunye kodwa ungavezi umbono wethu, uvumela ukuziphatha okunobuthi.
Isihluthulelo siwukukwazi ukuveza imibono ephikisanayo noma ukugxeka ngendlela enempilo, eyakhayo. Indlela yesangweji - lapho uqala khona ngokuncoma noma isitatimende esihle, ulandele ngokugxeka okufanele unikeze, bese, uvale ngesinye isitatimende esihle - ingenye yezindlela ezinokwethenjelwa kakhulu zalokhu.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinkinga Zobudlelwano Eziyi-8 Ongabhekana Nazo Uma Ubunabazali Abanobuthi
18. Beka imingcele yobudlelwano obuhle
Ukususa ubuthi ebudlelwaneni, bobabili abalingani kumele bazibophezele ekubekeni imingcele enempilo ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kukuvumela ukuthi ukwazi ukuzibona njengabantu abahlukene esikhundleni sebhizinisi elilodwa.
Ngokuvamile, indawo yomuntu siqu, ukuzimela kanye nenkululeko kumiswa ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi. Ukubeka imingcele kukuvumela ukuthi uphinde uthole leso sikhala somuntu siqu kanye nobuntu bakho.
Umuzwa wokuzimela, kungaba semoyeni noma ezicini zokusebenza zempilo yakho, kungaba isici esikhululayo esikukhulula emaphethini anobuthi wokuthembela ngokweqile kanye nokuncika ngokubambisana.
19. Gxila kobunye ubudlelwano empilweni yakho
Izwe labantu ababanjwe ebudlelwaneni obunobuthi livame ukushwabana lifinyelele kubo. Kungaba ngenxa yokungazethembi, umona noma ukwesaba, omunye noma bobabili abalingani baqala ukulahlekelwa ukuxhumana nabantu abasembuthanweni wabo wangaphakathi. Umndeni, abangani, osebenza nabo - ubudlelwano obungaphandle kobudlelwano bothando buhamba bufika emaphethelweni, kancane kodwa ngokuqinisekile.
Lo muzwa wokuzihlukanisa ungakwenza uzizwe uvaleleke kakhulu ebuhlotsheni benu. Ukuze ningabi yingozi njengombhangqwana , kufanele niphinde nibuke lezi zibopho ezindala futhi nisebenzele ukuziqinisa futhi.
Zinike isikhathi sokuzikhipha ngaphandle komlingani wakho, hlangana nabangane bakho, chitha isikhathi nomndeni wakho, hambela imicimbi yasehhovisi. Lokhu kusebenzisana kukunikeza umuzwa wokwaneliseka nenjabulo.
Njengoba ubuyela kumlingani wakho usugcwalisiwe, uzokwazi ukunikeza ubudlelwano bakho okuhle kakhulu.
20. Ungavumeli ukungqubuzana kushelele
Ngisho noma uzama ukususa ubuthi ebudlelwaneni, ezinye izingxabano, ukungezwani kanye nokuhlukana kwemibono kuzokhula. Njengoba benza kubo bonke ubuhlobo.
Kodwa akumele uzivumele zishelele ngenxa yokwesaba ukuthi enye impi noma ingxabano izohlehlisa inqubekelaphambili osuyenzile kuze kube manje. Khumbula ukuthi ubuthi obhekene nabo buyisamba esiqoqiwe sazo zonke izimpi ezincane ongazange ube nazo.
21. Zamukele izinguquko kuze kube phakade
Kulula ukushintsha okwesikhathi esifushane. Kodwa ngaphandle kokuthi uzibophezele ngobuqotho ekufakeni lolo shintsho ngaphakathi, ubungozi bokubuyela emikhubeni yakho yakudala namaphethini ahlala emkhulu.
Ukuze ukwazi ukuhlehlisa ukuziphatha okunobuthi kube kuhle, awudingi nje ukushintsha amaphethini angenampilo ufake anempilo kodwa futhi uwagcine isikhathi eside.
Akulula ukulungisa ubudlelwano obunobuthi kodwa akwenzeki futhi. Uma nje bobabili abalingani bezimisele ukuvuma inkinga futhi babe abalingani abalinganayo ekutholeni isisombululo, ushintsho oluhlala njalo luwumgomo ongokoqobo kakhulu.
Imibuzo Ebuzwa Njalo-
Yebo, inqobo nje uma bobabili abalingani bezimisele ukuvuma inkinga futhi babe abalingani abalinganayo ekutholeni isisombululo, ubudlelwano obunobuthi bungaphulukiswa.
Bobabili abalingani babamba iqhaza ekwenzeni ubudlelwano bube nobuthi. Ngisho noma ubuthi busukela ngokuyinhloko ezicini zobuntu bozakwenu noma ezinkingeni ezedlule, kungenzeka ukuthi ubambe iqhaza ungaqondile ngokunika amandla ukuziphatha kwakhe.
Ukuze ulungise umonakalo ebudlelwaneni, udinga ukugqashula amaphethini angenampilo nangasebenzi kahle futhi esikhundleni sawo ufake ama-dynamics anempilo, anempilo.
Ubudlelwano bufanele ukulondolozwa uma naphezu kwazo zonke izinkinga nokuthambekela okungalungile bobabili abalingani benesifiso sokubenza busebenze. Yiqiniso, le paradigm ayisebenzi ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo.
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
