Izizathu Ezingu-7 Ezenza Ama-Narcissists Angakwazi Ukugcina Ubudlelwano Obuseduze

Kumelwe ukuba uzwile ngoNarcissus – insizwa eyadliwa kakhulu ukuzindla kwayo echibini lamanzi yaze yawa yacwila kulo. Yayingenabo abangane noma mhlawumbe isithandwa sokuyenza iqaphele umhlaba omzungezile? Ingabe umuntu angadliwa kakhulu uthando lwakhe kangangokuthi akaqondi ukuthi lungaba yingozi kangakanani esikhathini eside?

Ama-Narcissists awakwazi ukulondoloza ubudlelwano obuseduze, obuhlala isikhathi eside, ngokuyinhloko ngoba ashiywe engenawo amandla okuthanda omunye umuntu ngaphandle kwawo. Ama-Narcissists nobudlelwano akuyona inhlanganisela ejabulisayo njengoba uzobona kulesi sihloko.

Iphethini yobudlelwano beNarcissistic

Abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza kanye nobudlelwano bahlala bexabana. Ngoba abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza bazithanda kakhulu kangangokuthi kunzima kakhulu ngabo ukuthanda noma ubani ngaphandle kwabo. Abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza bangangena ebudlelwaneni kodwa abanalo uzwela. Abakwazi ukubeka abantu phambi kwabo nganoma iyiphi indlela, lokhu kufaka phakathi ngisho nezingane zabo . Bayalawula, balawule, bayale futhi bahlukumeze izingane zabo ngoba iphethini yobudlelwano bokuzikhukhumeza imayelana nokulawula.

Abantu abathanda ukuzithanda bawela ngaphansi kwencazelo yabantu be-Dark Triad. Ngokusho kwe -Psychology Today Dark Triad Abantu bangabantu abasebenzisa abanye ukuze bazuze futhi bachazwa njengeqoqo lezimpawu ezifaka:-

• ukuthambekela kokufuna ukutuswa nokuphathwa okukhethekile (okunye okwaziwa ngokuthi i-narcissism)
• ukungabi naluzwela nokungazweli (psychopathy) kanye
• ukukhohlisa abanye (Machiavellianism)

Ngakho-ke, uma sibheka iphethini yobudlelwane be-narcissistic, okokuqala iza nokubonisa "uthando olucatshangwayo". Lolu uhlobo olungakholeki lokunakekela nokunaka okuvame ukubizwa ngokuthi ukuqhunyiswa kwamabhomu othando futhi kungabonakala kungavamile. Bathola uhlobo lomuntu ongafuna ukuba naye ebudlelwaneni futhi baqale ukukhombisa lezo zici zobuntu.

Isinyathelo sabo esilandelayo ukukhohlisa ngokomzwelo. Lapha bazozama kancane kancane ukukwenza wenze abakufunayo ngokusebenzisa ukukhohlisa kwengqondo okucashile. Lokhu kuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo kungalandelwa ukuhlukumeza ngokomzimba kanye nokuxolisa okusuka enhliziyweni kamuva.

Lona umjikelezo wobudlelwane be-narcissistic futhi kunzima kakhulu ukugqashuka kulo mjikelezo. Ngakho-ke, konke kuhamba kancane.

Ungaba Nobudlelwano Ne-Narcissist?

Kungenzeka yini ukuba nobudlelwano obuhle nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza? Akunjalo ngempela. Umqondo wobudlelwano obuhle uhlukile ezingqondweni zabantu abahlukene. Akudingeki ukusho ukuthi, ukuthi ubuhlobo obuhle buyini nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza, ubuhlobo obunobugovu nokulawula kakhulu kunoma yimuphi umuntu ojwayelekile.

Ukuxilongwa kwe-narcissistic personality disorder kwenzeka ngokomtholampilo. I-athikili eshicilelwe ku-Sane ithi:

Ngokwe-Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - phakathi kwe-0.5 ne-1% yabantu jikelele bathola ukuthi bane-NPD. U-50 kuya ku-75% walaba ngabesilisa. I-athikili efanayo iphinde ithi:
nakuba abantu abane-NPD bethola ukuzethemba okuphezulu, kubuye kuntekenteke futhi akuvikeleki. Ukuzethemba kwabo kuyashintshashintsha kusukela umzuzwana kuya umzuzwana futhi usuku nosuku.

Kodwa-ke, abantu abane-NPD maningi amathuba okuthi basho ukuzethemba kwabo njengokuphezulu kunokuba kuphansi. Lokhu kuphakamisa ukuthi nakuba abantu abane-NPD bezichaza ngamagama akhuthazayo, imizwa yabo enganakile ayiyona into enhle.

Ngokwalezi zibalo, kunzima kakhulu ngomuntu ukuthi alondoloze ubuhlobo obuhlala isikhathi eside nomuntu oyi-narcissist. Ngenkathi besebudlelwaneni, abantu balindele izinto ezimbalwa kubalingani babo. Ubudlelwano obuningi obuyimpumelelo busebenza ekuzinikeleni nasekuzinikeleni kozakwethu. Baphumelele ngoba ozakwethu babeka izidingo zengxenye yabo engcono ngaphambi kwezabo. Kodwa-ke, lokhu kucishe kungenzeki ukuthi i-narcissist ikwenze lokhu ngenxa yephutha labo. Ngakho-ke, njengoba singathanda ukuqonda isimo sabo esibucayi, singabantu. Okulindelwe kwethu kuhlezi kusidumaza yingakho kunzima ukujola ne-narcissist. Ngakho-ke, ake sibheke ukuthi kungani konke lokhu. Siyini isizathu esenza bangakwazi ukugcina ubudlelwano?

Izizathu Ezingu-7 Ezenza Ama-Narcissists Angakwazi Ukugcina Ubudlelwano Obuseduze

Abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza abakwazi ukubheka ngale kwabo futhi umhlaba wabo ujikeleza kubo. Ukubukeka kwabo, impumelelo, ukubaluleka, ubugovu kuhlala kuyinto eza kuqala. Yingakho ukwabelana, ukuzidela, nokunakekela okuyizinto ezibangela ubudlelwano obuseduze kuyinto abangenakuyinikeza. Akumangalisi ukuthi abakwazi ubudlelwano obuseduze. Abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza nobudlelwano abaphumeleli ngenxa yezizathu ezilandelayo:

1. Umnaki akanabangane

Umuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza uvame ukukhula engumuntu ohlala yedwa. Akanabo abangane futhi noma ngabe banabo, iningi labo lingabantu abangasho lutho, bamane nje bangabantu esibaziyo. Ubungane bethu busifundisa okuningi ngokwakha nokugcina ubudlelwano.

Ngokudabukisayo, iningi lama-narcisists, alibangane nabantu abaningi ngoba abavamile ukuthola umuntu ofanele ubungane babo. Ngakho-ke kuyabonakala ukuthi abantu abanjalo bampofu ekuboniseni imizwa yabo. Abazi ukuthi yini edingekayo ukuze ubudlelwano busebenze futhi bakuthole kunzima ukunakekela abanye.

2. Banokuzazisa okukhulu

Abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza nabo bagcwele bona. Lokhu kuholela ezingxabanweni eziningi zobugovu. Empikiswaneni nesithandwa sabo, bavame ukungaxolisi . Bakhululekile ukuhlala bodwa uma umlingani wabo enquma ukuyeka ukukhuluma nabo. Ezimweni ezinjalo, umuntu angalindela kanjani ukuba nobuhlobo obuseduze ? Bazithanda kakhulu ngaphandle kokuxolisa. Isimo sabo sengqondo sokuthi 'ngingcono kakhulu' sibabeka ohambweni olunzima uma kukhulunywa ngezindaba zothando.

Funda kabanzi: Izimpawu ezingu-13 zokuthi akakuhloniphi futhi akakufanele

3. Umnaki uyazidla

Laba ngabantu abanesikhathi esincane kakhulu sabanye. Hhayi ngenxa yemisebenzi yabo ematasa noma imisebenzi yasekhaya kodwa ngenxa yokuzicabangela ngokweqile. Benza ngisho nezinkinga zabo ezincane zibe zibaluleke kakhulu kunezinkinga zangempela zabalingani babo. Bahlala begxila empumelelweni noma ekuhlulekeni kwabo bengenalo ithuba lokuthi abalingani babo babelane ngezabo. Njengoba isikhathi sihamba, abalingani babo baqala ukungathandi ukubaluleka abazibeka phezu kwabo kunokugxila 'kuthina'.

4. AmaNarcissists abanalo uzwelo

Kungukuthi 'Mina, mina kanye nami' kumuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza. Ikhono labo lokuzwelana cishe alikho. Abasoze bazibeka ezicathulweni zomunye umuntu. Ukuze uxhumane ngokomzwelo nomlingani wakho, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqonda umlingani wakho ongcono. Ngeshwa, abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza abanalo lolu hlobo. Ukuntuleka kozwela yisona sizathu esiyinhloko esenza abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza kanye nobudlelwano baxabane. Yingakho-ke, ngenxa yalesi sizathu, ukuhlukunyezwa kobudlelwano bokuzikhukhumeza nakho kwenzeka.

5. Zine-superiority complex

Ama-Narcisists azibheka njengekilasi ngaphezu kwabanye. Akusho lutho ukuthi ungumlingani wabo. Basazocabanga ukuthi awulungile njengabo. Ungakwazi yini ngeso lengqondo ukuba nobuhlobo obuseduze nomuntu ogcwele isimo sengqondo nokuzidla? Bangakwazi ukululaza nokuhlambalaza. Ngenxa yezici ezinjalo, ubudlelwano babo buvame ukuwa. Nokho, bahlala bengathinteki.

AmaNarcissists angabantu abazidlayo ngokungenamahloni. Ngakho-ke, abalokothi bayekethise futhi bahlale bezibheka njengabaphakeme ebudlelwaneni.

Ukufunda okuhlobene: Ukudalula Umuntu Othanda Ukuzithanda – Okufanele Ukwazi

6. AmaNarcisists alambele ukudunyiswa

Abantu be-Narcissistic bafuna ukuba sekupheleni kokuthola zonke izincomo. Bafuna udumo ngakho konke. Ukuze bafeze isidingo sabo sobugovu sokubukeka bengcono kakhulu, bangase bagcine belimaza imizwa yomlingani wabo. Yingakho futhi bengavamile ukwaneliseka.

Funda kabanzi: Izimpawu ezingu-8 zokuthi 'uhlaselwa ngothando.'

7. Balindele lukhulu kubalingani babo

Abakulindele kubalingani babo ngezinye izikhathi kungase kungabi namaqiniso. Lokhu kufaka ingcindezi enkulu kubalingani babo. Bafuna ukugcina isithombe esithile kubo emehlweni omphakathi. Ngakho-ke, bagcina bebeka phambili lesi “sithombe” ngaphezu kobudlelwano babo. Bachitha amandla abo ekwenzeni ubudlelwano bulingane naleli zinga lombono. Uma kungakwenzi lokho kubakhungathekisa kuze kube phakade.

Ukuzithanda kubalulekile, kodwa noma yini eyeqile ingaba nemiphumela emibi. Njengezidalwa ezingokomzwelo nezihlakaniphile, kufanele sibe sesimweni sokunikeza inani elifanayo lothando, inhlonipho, ukunakekela kanye nokunaka kwabalingani bethu esikulindele kubo.

Ukudivosa umyeni oyi-narcissist - izindlela eziyi-8 zokuhlala uphilile

Indlela Yokuphulukisa Ubudlelwano Ngokuzindla

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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