Ukukhohlisa kwezothando kungaba nzima kakhulu ukukubona futhi kukunqobe ebudlelwaneni ikakhulukazi ngoba bubonakala ngezindlela ezihlukene, amafomu namadigri. Ukusuka kokungazi lutho nokucashile kuye kokuhlakaniphe kakhulu nokusobala, ukukhohlisa kungase kuhluke njengobudlelwane bezithandani ngokwazo. Kungakhathaliseki izinga lakho, ukukhohlisa ebuhlotsheni bothando kungaba yingozi esibophweni sombhangqwana.
Ngaphandle kokulimaza impilo eguquguqukayo ebudlelwaneni obuseduze, ukukhohlisa kushiya isisulu sizizwa sididekile, sikhungathekile futhi singenamandla. Kuthatha umonakalo enjabulweni yakho futhi kwenza ukwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo kungenzeki ngoba wonke amandla ombhangqwana agxile ekukhohliseni. Nihlale niqagela izisusa nezinhloso zomunye nomunye, nizibuza ukuthi uthando noma ukukhohlisa enibhekene nakho.
Uma lokho kwenzeka, esikhundleni sokuzizwa njengabantu ababili abaseqenjini elilodwa, abalingani bothando baba izitha ezibanjwe impi engapheli yokuhlangana okukodwa. Lokhu kuphazamisa njalo ukusondelana kwakho nokuxhumana. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo emitholampilo Kranti Sihotra Momin, ongudokotela we-CBT onesipiliyoni futhi onguchwepheshe ekuxazululeni izinkinga zobudlelwane, uchaza ukuthi kungani kubalulekile ukubona ukukhohlisa okunothando noma okungokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni bothando futhi uzivikele.
Kuyini Ukukhohlisa Kwezothando?
Okuqukethwe
Ukukhohlisa kungachazwa njengomzamo wokuthonya imizwelo yomuntu noma inqubo yokucabanga ngenjongo yokumenza enze ngendlela ethile noma enze afune ukusabela kuye. Kumongo wobudlelwano, ukukhohlisa kwezothando yilapho omunye uzakwethu esebenzisa lawa maqhinga ukuze akhe inqaba phezu komunye.
Kungaphikiswana ngokuthi wonke umuntu usebenzisa abanye ngendlela ethile noma enye, ngezikhathi ezithile. Ngisho nezinto ezinhle ezamukelekayo emphakathini njengokumomotheka noma ukubheka emehlweni ngesikhathi sengxoxo zingabizwa njengendlela yokukhohlisa. Kuyiqiniso noma lokho kungase kube, akuzona zonke izinhlobo zokukhohlisa ezenziwe zilingana. Ukuzulazula ukuze uphazamise umlingani wakho lapho esesimweni esibi noma ecasulwe nguwe angeke kulinganiswe nokukhohlisa kokuthi “akekho ozokuthanda njengoba ngenza”.
Ukukhohlisa okunobuthi kwezothando kubambezeleka ebudlelwaneni lapho umlingani oyedwa ebalekela ngamabomu ekusunguleni ukulawula kwamandla ukuze agweme amasu anempilo afana nokuxhumana okuvulekile nokwethembeka ukuze kusungulwe ukusondelana. Yilapho-ke iqasha endaweni engenampilo futhi ithatha isimo se ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo.
I-Machiavellianism, okungelinye igama elisho ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni bothando, ibonakala ngesitayela esikhohlisayo ekuphatheni ukuxhumana phakathi kwabantu okudlulela ekuzimiseleni ukuxhaphaza abanye kanye nokuthambekela ekuhlukaniseni imizwelo.
Labo abasebenzisa ukukhohlisa kwezothando babona abalingani babo bengathembeki kangako futhi babika ukuthi abanalo ukholo oluncane kubo. Lokhu kubangela ukulawula ukuziphatha nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo. Ngenxa yalesi sidingo esiphoqayo sokulawula, abanqikazi ukusebenzisa uthando ukuze balawule abalingani babo. Kubo, isiphetho sithethelela izindlela.
Abantu abakhohlisayo ngamabomu baphinde babonise amazinga aphezulu okugxeka kanye nokuzabalaza nezindaba zokwethembana ebudlelwaneni. Abantu bakwaMachiavellian abagcini nje ngokubona abalingani babo ngendlela engeyinhle kodwa futhi bafuna ukusondelana kwe-symbiotic ukuze bakwazi ukubaxhaphaza ukuze basize izidingo zabo.
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Ngokusobala, ukuxhashazwa kwezothando kungaba nemiphumela efinyelela kude kulabo abayizisulu, abazithola belahlekile futhi bephucwe noma imuphi umfanekiso wokulawula. Uma umuntu obumethembe ngenhliziyo yakho esebenzisa uthando njengeqhinga lokukhohlisa, nakanjani lizokulimaza emoyeni futhi likushiye uxwaye ubudlelwano. Yikuphi okwenza umbuzo ube nini ukukhohlisa ebudlelwaneni bothando kuhambisana nokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo?
Ukuze uthole umbono ongcono, ake sipende isimo: ngemva kweminyaka yokuthandana, usuthole umuntu ophelele obulokhu umfuna ngaso sonke isikhathi. Bahlola wonke amabhokisi okuthi “nguyena”, futhi bakugezise ngezipho, ukunaka, nenani elikhulu lothando.
Nokho, ngaphansi kwaleli ngaphandle elibonakala liphelele, kukhona okuyinkinga. Mhlawumbe, abangani bakho bazamile ukukuxwayisa ngomaqondana wakho omusha. Babone izimpawu zokukhohlakala kwezothando ongakakwazi ukuzibona kuze kube manje.
Nawe unomuzwa obeleselayo ngomlingani wakho, kuphela awukwazi ukubeka umunwe ngesizathu salokho okwamanje. Lokho kungokwemvelo ngoba abantu abafunde ubuciko bokukhohlisa benza kube nzima ngabalingani babo ukuhlonza ababo ubudlelwane obunobuthi amaphethini.
Uma lokho kuzwakala kujwayelekile ngendlela ozizwa ngayo ebudlelwaneni bakho, ungawuthulisi lowo mqondo ngoba ungafuni ukuba nombono obabayo noma onesiphiwo othandweni. Naka lezi zimpawu eziyi-15 eziyisixwayiso zokukhohlisa kwezothando:
1. Umlingani wakho ukunika uhambo lwecala
Uhambo lwecala luphakathi kwamaqhinga akudala okukhohlisa ubudlelwano. Ungaqiniseka ukuthi ubhekene nokukhohlisa kwezothando ebudlelwaneni bakho uma umlingani wakho ethola indlela yokwenza uzizwe unecala ngezinto ezincane kakhulu. Ake sithi uchithe wonke uMgqibelo ekuseni ulungiselela ukudla abakuthandayo. Bese bephendula ngokuthi, “Ukudla kumnandi kodwa bekungaba ngcono ukube ulandele iresiphi kamama kuT. Noma kunjalo, akunandaba ngoba ngiyakuthanda.”
Uzakwenu ukubeke endaweni futhi washeshe wazikhulula kunoma ikuphi ukuba necala ngakho ngokuqeda lokho kugxeka ngokuthi 'Ngiyakuthanda'. Nokho, lokho akuwuguquli umthelela wokusabela kwabo kuwe. Uzizwa unecala ngokungaphili ngokuvumelana nalokho ababekulindele futhi ugcwele umuzwa wokungafaneleki. Ukusebenzisa ukuthi ngiyakuthanda njengokukhohlisa kanye nokubalekela ukuphawula okulimazayo nokunganaki kuyindlela yencwadi yokufunda okudingeka uyiqaphele.
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2. Ukukuhlukanisa nabangane nomndeni
Wenze izinhlelo zokuzipholela nabangani bakho kodwa bakudonse ubuso, bathi banethemba lokuchitha ubusuku nawe. Umama wakho ukumemele esidlweni sakusihlwa futhi umlingani wakho ukhohlwa ngakho bese wenza ukubhukha isidlo sakusihlwa okungqubuzana nezinhlelo zakho nomndeni. Uma usocingweni nomngane, ukukhombisa ukuthi uvale ucingo ngokushesha ngoba efuna ukuzihlalela nawe.
Umuntu okhohlisayo angase adlulise lezi zindlela zokuziphatha ezikhathazayo njengesifiso sakhe sokuba nani nonke ngoba ekuthanda kakhulu kuyilapho empeleni isisusa sazo siwukukwehlukanisa kancane kancane nabantu empilweni yakho. Hlala ukhumbula ukuthi abakhohlisi basebenzisa uthando njengethuluzi lokuqhubekisela phambili umgomo wabo wokugcina, osebenzisa ukulawula okuphelele nokungalawuleki kuwe.
3. Banquma ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze noma okungafanele uyenze
Umuntu okhohlisayo angase abe nobuntu obusayo obubenza babe nesifiso esinamandla sokukwenza wenze izinto ngendlela afuna zenziwe ngayo. Isoka likaSasha lalinomkhuba wokuthi lihlale likhetha izingubo zalo noma nini lapho benezinhlelo zokuphuma ndawonye.
Wayephequlula ikhabethe lakhe lezingubo futhi wendlale kahle ingubo, izicathulo ngisho nezinto afuna azigqoke. Ekuqaleni, uSasha wakuthola kuthandeka. Kwaba yilapho eqala ukuveza umbono wakhe uma efuna ukugqoka enye into lapho kwavela khona isici sokukhohlisa kwezothando.
Isoka lakhe lalithukuthela noma limshaye kabi uma lihluleka ukwenza lokho. Wayehlale ekhansela icebo, bese kuba nempi, okwenza u-Sasha azizwe ecindezelekile kakhulu ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kuphakathi kwamaqhinga okukhohlisa ubudlelwano obusobala, ngakho-ke, kulula ukukubona. Ilayini elisiliva: uma umlingani wakho evakashele kulo, ungase ukwazi ukubona amafulegi abomvu ngaphambi kokuba kuphuze kakhulu. Themba umuzwa wakho wemvelo futhi ungakushayi indiva ukuziphatha kwabo okuyinkinga.
4. Ukudlala isisulu
Ukukhohlisa ngokomzwelo emshadweni noma ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside kungase kudide ngoba umkhohlisi uvame ukubonisa ukuziphatha okungqubuzanayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, bangase balawule futhi balawule, kanti ngakolunye, bangase badlale isisulu ekupheleleni.
Uma uthi cha noma wenqaba ukunelisa ngezifiso zabo kanye nezifiso zabo, uzakwethu onobuqili angase ashintshele kumodi yesisulu ngokushesha. “Kungani ngingeke ngenze lutho kahle?” “Ngiyisehluleki, ngihlezi ngikudumaza.” “Angikwazi neze ukukufanela, ngiyaxolisa.”
Kungenzeka ukuthi lokhu kuboniswa kokuzidabukela kuncibilikisa inhliziyo yakho futhi uvumele noma yini ababefuna ukwenze kwasekuqaleni. Yingakho ukudlala isisulu kubuye kube uhlobo lokukhohlisa kwezothando. Lokhu akuyona into engaphezu kweqhinga lokukhohlisa elicashile egameni lothando, eliklanyelwe ukufeza injongo efanayo namanye amasu okukhohlisa - ukulawula okuphelele nokungenakuphikiswa.
5. Ukuhamba ngesivinini esikhulu
Olunye lwezimpawu zokukhohlisa kwezothando ukuthi umlingani okhohlisayo uya phambili ebuhlotsheni ngesivinini ongase ungakhululekile ngaso. Bangase yithi 'ngiyakuthanda' ngokushesha futhi ukusho ngamandla kangangokuthi ucishe uzizwe unesibopho sokukuphendula.
Noma bangase basikisele ukuthi niyohlala ndawonye lapho ninezinyanga ezimbalwa nje nithandana. Kungenjalo, bangase bakucele ukuba ushade nabo ngokushesha ngemva kokuba wenze izinto ezikhethekile. Uma uzwa sengathi kukhona okukuhlukumezayo ebudlelwaneni nakuba anifani nozakwenu, xwayiswa ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi ubhekene nokuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo.
Uthando njengeqhinga elikhohlisayo lungazwakala lucindezela kakhulu, futhi lokho ngokwakho kuwuphawu oluyisixwayiso. Uma ubudlelwano buzwakala kakhulu, yingoba mhlawumbe kunjalo. Ungawi ngenxa yenkohliso yokuthi “akekho ozokuthanda njengoba ngenza”. Zibambe ukhulume okusengqondweni yakho.
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6. Sebenzisa ubuthakathaka bakho
Sonke sinesabelo sethu sobuthakathaka kanye nokuba sengozini, futhi lapho sabelana ngobudlelwane obuseduze nothile, sabelana ngalezi zinhlangothi zobuntu ezingajabulisi kakhulu naye. Lena inqubo yemvelo yokuvumela lowo muntu okhethekile empilweni yakho, ngenhliziyo yonke, futhi umvumele ukuthi akubone lokho oyikho.
Ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, abalingani abasebenzisi lobu buthakathaka kanye nokuba sengozini komunye nomunye. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo ebuhlotsheni bothando kuyaphumelela ekusebenziseni la maphuzu abuthakathaka. Lokhu kuphakathi kwamaqhinga akudala okukhohlisa ubudlelwano azovela maduze noma kamuva uma unozakwethu okhohlisayo nolawulayo.
Ngokwesibonelo, uma ucasulwa imizwelo futhi ucindezelekile phakathi nempi, bangase bageze izandla zabo ukuze bakufinyelele kulelo qophelo ngokusho okuthile okunjengokuthi, “O, kuza amanzi.
7. Ukusolwa njalo kuwuphawu lokukhohlisa kwezothando
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yisiphi isimo, ngandlela-thile nguwe osolwa ngakho. Uhlela usuku oluhle ngawe kanye nomunye wakho obalulekile. Bahlezi lapho benobuso obude, bedla ukudla kwabo buthule noma belokhu bekhononda ngayo yonke into kuze kubangele ingxabano egcwele.
Uma ubakhomba bavele bakujike bathi usuku kube yinhlekelele ngoba uqoke indawo yokudlela eyodwa abakwenyanyayo. Lokhu njalo ukugxeka, ngisho nasezindabeni ezingathi sína, kungase kubonakale kungenasidingo ekuqaleni kodwa kungabangela umonakalo omkhulu engqondweni yakho kanye nomuzwa wobumina lapho leli phethini liphindaphindwa ngokungaphezi.
8. Ukungasho lutho kuwuhlobo lokuxhaphaza imizwelo
Uma uzibuza ukuthi ngabe ubhekene nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo emshadweni noma ebudlelwaneni, naka ukuthi umlingani wakho usabela kanjani ekuxabaneni, izingxabano noma ukuhlukana kwemibono nje. Ingabe bayayeka ukukhuluma nawe futhi bakunikeze ukuthula isikhathi eside noma nini lapho wenqaba ukwenza izinto ngendlela yabo?
Ingabe lesi senzo sokungasho lutho siphela kuphela lapho ufinyelela eqhweni futhi ngokungaguquki uvumela izimfuno zabo? Ungalenzi iphutha lokho ukungakhulumisani kuwuhlobo lokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo futhi ilingana nobudlelwano obunobuthi obuguqukayo. Zibuze, “Ingabe kuwuthando noma ukukhohlisa uma umlingani wami engangabazi ukungilimaza ngamabomu ukuze nje enze izinto ngendlela yakhe?”
9. Umlingani okhohlisayo angase akushaye ngamatshe
I-Stonewalling empeleni isandiso sokwelashwa buthule. Nokho, kuqhubekela phambili. Kulolu hlobo lokuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni bothando, umlingani angenqaba ukuhlanganyela nawe noma ngabe usengozini enkulu kakhulu naye.
Ngokungayiboni imizwa yakho noma ukukhuluma ngayo, umkhohlisi uthumela umlayezo wokuthi wena noma imizwa yakho akusho lutho. I-Stonewalling ingaphinda ibonakale ngendlela enolaka lapho uzakwethu okhohlisayo ephakamisa izwi lakhe futhi akuthethise ngaphandle kokukuvumela iwindi ukuthi uveze umbono wakho. Kuzo zombili izinhlobo zakho, lokhu kuxhaphaza ngokomzwelo kuyithuluzi lokufuna ukuthotshelwa.
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10. Uzwa ubuhlungu obungapheli emoyeni
Ingabe abakhohlisi bemizwa banemizwa ngawe? Lo mbuzo ungaba nzima engqondweni yakho uma ubona izimpawu zakudala zokukhohlisa kwezothando ebudlelwaneni bakho. Impendulo ithi cha, nakhu ukuthi kungani: ukukhohlisa ngothando kungase kukushiye uphatheke kabi ngokomzwelo.
Abantu abaningi abakuboni kuyinkinga njengokulimala ngokomzimba okubangelwa ukuhlukunyezwa kwasekhaya noma udlame, kodwa akuhlukile ngempela. Inhloso yokulimaza ngokomzwelo iyafana nokulimaza othile ngokomzimba - ukulawula nokufuna ukuzithoba.
Umuntu okuzwisa ubuhlungu ngamabomu angakuthanda kanjani? Bona - nawe - bangase badide imizwa yabo ngothando, kodwa bakude nakho. Uma umlingani esebenzisa uthando njengeqhinga lokukhohlisa, imizwa yakhe ngawe ayikwazi ukuba qotho futhi ubudlelwano buzophenduka buhlukumeze ngokomzwelo ngesinye isikhathi.
11. Ubudlelwano bakho buyashintshashintsha
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi senibe nezinyanga eziyisi-6 noma engu-6 nindawonye, ubudlelwano benu buyashintshashintsha. Awukwazi ukusho ngokuqinisekile ukuthi umlingani wakho uzizwa kanjani ngawe, futhi lokho kukwenza ungazethembi futhi udideke.
Ngomzuzwana nje, bangase bakuthengele izipho futhi bakuchithe ngothando nothando. Futhi okulandelayo, ngisho nokucasulwa okuncane - okwangempela noma okucatshangwayo - kusukela ekugcineni kwakho, isimo sabo sengqondo singashintsha ngokuphelele. Bangase benze izinto ezikude, bekude, futhi benqabe ukwabelana nawe ngesizathu. Ngenxa yalokho, uhlale uzibuza ukuthi bazizwa kanjani ngawe.
Leli elinye futhi iqhinga lokukhohlisa elicashile egameni lothando elisakazwa ukuze uhlale uxhumekile futhi uvaleleke ebuhlotsheni obulimazayo ngokomzwelo. Umuntu okhohlisayo uyazi ukuthi kufanele akuthele nini ngothando nothando nokuthi kufanele akubambe nini futhi isikhathi esingakanani, ukuze ungaphumuli futhi ukulangazelele. Ngokwenza lokhu isikhathi eside ngokwanele, bakwenza ngokunganaki ubophe ukuzethemba kwakho ekugunyazweni kwabo, futhi ngemva kwalokho, ukuphuma ebudlelwaneni obukhohlisayo kungaba nzima kakhulu.
12. Ukukhanyisa igesi kuwukukhohlisa kwakudala kwezothando
ukukhanya kwegesi ingenye yezimpawu ezigqame kakhulu zokukhohlisa kwezothando. Uma umlingani wakho engagcini nje ngokuqamba amanga kuwe kodwa futhi ebalekela ngokungabaza umbono wakho weqiniso, ubhekene ne-gaslit ebuhlotsheni. Lena indlela yakudala yokukhohlisa yothando evumela umuntu ukuthi abambe kanjalo phezu kwesikhala sakho somqondo uze uqale ukungabaza ukwahlulela kwakho futhi ubathembe ngawe.
Isibonelo esijwayelekile sokukhanyisa igesi ukuthi uqala ukubuza umlingani wakho ngamanga okungenzeka ukuthi uwakhulumile noma okuthile okungalungile okungenzeka ukuthi ukwenzile, futhi ngandlela-thile baphendule yonke ingxoxo ekhanda layo. Ngenxa yalokho, ugcina usuxolisa kubo.
I-gaslighting isetshenziswa kakhulu kakhulu kumaqhinga ahlukene okukhohlisa ubudlelwano, futhi futhi yingozi kakhulu. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukunganaki okuqhubekayo kanye nokuguqulwa kombono womuntu ohlukunyeziwe weqiniso kungenza ahlulele, kubenze bangabaze ubuhlakani babo kanye namakhono okwenza izinqumo.
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13. Uqhunyiswa uthando
Umlingani okhohlisayo angaba nothando nothando ngokwedlulele. Yingakho abantu abaningi benenkinga yokuhlonza izimpawu zokukhohlisa kwezothando ebuhlotsheni. Nokho, okuhlukanisa lokhu kuboniswa kothando nothando kulokho okusebuhlotsheni obunempilo iphethini yakho eguquguqukayo.
Ngaso sonke isikhathi, umlingani wakho angase aqale ukuziphatha sengathi uyisikhungo sendawo yonke. Bachitha isikhathi nawe, bakuthumelele imiyalezo lapho ningekho, baxoxa nawe kuze kube sebusuku kakhulu, bakuthengele izipho futhi benze nezinye izimpawu zothando ezinhle. Uma nje uqala ukuzithokozisa ngalolu thando olushisa izikhotha, bayakugodla.
Ngokungazelelwe, futhi ngaphandle kwencazelo, kukushiya udonsa kanzima ngemiphumela yalokhu kuhoxiswa kungenanhlonipho. Njengoba uvumelana nalokho kuhoxa, kuqala omunye umjikelezo wezimpawu zothando. Uthando ngamabhomu kuwuhlobo lokukhohlisa kwezothando okuhloswe ngalo ukwenza uncike othandweni lwabo, nokubamba ukulawula.
14. Izidingo zakho azifezeki
Ukukhohlisa kwezothando kudinga ukuthi uvumelane nezidingo zakho - ngokomzwelo, ngokomzimba noma okwenzekayo - ukungahlangabezwana naye ebudlelwaneni. Kunjalo, umlingani wakho ngeke akusho ngamagama amaningi kodwa bonke ubudlelwano obunamandla buthumela lowo mlayezo ngokuzwakalayo nangokucacile.
Imithetho eyahlukene iyasebenza kuwe nakumlingani wakho. Nakuba bengenza noma yini abayithandayo, ulindeleke ukuba wenze lokho abakuvumela ukuba ukwenze. Isibonelo, isiko labo lamasonto onke lokubloma nabangane babo lingahle libe ngcwele kodwa kulindeleke ukuthi uqhube izinhlelo zakho ngabo ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Ngokuvamile, bangase bakucele - ngokuqondile noma ngokucashile - ukuthi ukhansele, balindele ukuthi uthobele. Uma wenza kanjalo, uthumela umlayezo, hhayi kubo kuphela kodwa nawe ngokwakho, ukuthi izidingo zakho zifika endaweni yesibili futhi kulungile uma zingahlangatshezwana nazo.
15. Ukusondelana ngokomzimba kuyaguquguquka
The ukubaluleka kanye namandla ocansi ebudlelwaneni ayikwazi ukucindezelwa ngokwanele. Kodwa-ke, lezi azithuthuki noma zisebenze zodwa futhi zivame ukuncika kwezinye izinhlobo zokusondelana ekuhlanganyeleni. Kungakho ukusondelana ngokomzimba ebudlelwaneni bakho kungase kube okuguquguqukayo futhi kuguquguquke kakhulu.
Uma usesigabeni sokuqhunyiswa ngamabhomu othando, ngokwesibonelo, ucansi lungaba luhle kakhulu. Khona-ke, lapho umlingani wakho ehoxa, ukusondelana ngokomzimba kungase kuphazamise. Bangase futhi bakugodle ukusondelana njengendlela yesijeziso. Noma bahlanganyele nawe ocansini kuphela lapho belufisa. Konke lokhu kunganezela emuzweni wakho wokudideka nokukhungatheka mayelana nobudlelwano.
Uma ukhomba ngeningi lalezi zimpawu zokukhohlisa kwezothando, kubalulekile ukubeka imingcele ebuhlotsheni bakho futhi uyiphoqelele ngokungaguquki. Uma umlingani wakho okhohlisayo ekubona uhlehla, kungase kumenze abonise ukungazethembi kwakhe noma aveze uhlangothi lwakhe olubi kakhulu. Noma iyiphi indlela, uzokwazi ukubona imibala yabo yangempela. Lokho kuyokwenza ukwazi ukunquma ngenkambo yakho yesinyathelo sokubhekana nokuxhashazwa kwezothando ngokuphumelelayo.
Ungazama ukudlula kumlingani wakho, umenze abone inkinga futhi usebenzele ukuthola isisombululo sokuphula la maphethini angenampilo. Uma zingezi, hamba futhi uzisindise ekulimaleni ngokomzwelo. Ukuhlehlisa umonakalo odalwe ukuxhashazwa kwezothando kungaba nzima futhi kungaphazamisa ikhono lakho lokukhuthaza ubudlelwano obunempilo. Ukufuna ukwelashwa kungasiza kakhulu ekwelapheni amanxeba okuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo. Cabangela ukukhuluma nomelaphi oseduze nawe noma uxhumane naye abeluleki abanolwazi nabanelayisensi kuphaneli ye-Bonobology.
Ungawaqaphela Kanjani Amafulegi Abomvu Wobudlelwano - Uchwepheshe Uyakutshela
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
