Sonke sibheka uthando lweqiniso, futhi abanye bethu bashaywa umcibisholo we-Cupid ngokushesha kunabanye. Kodwa-ke, kule nkathi ye-pacy yezokuxhumana kanye nezinhlelo zokusebenza zokuphola ku-inthanethi, ungase uhlangabezane nezimo eziningi lapho umfana enza intshisekelo, bese uyahlehla. Ungase uzibuze, "Kungani abafana benza isithakazelo bese bengalandeli?" Hhayi-ke, mhlawumbe, ukuthola uthando, noma isoka elihle, noma indoda eneqiniso futhi efanele inhliziyo yakho, kufana nokuzama ukubona inkanyezi enomsila kaHalley.
Lapho umfana ehlehla ngemva kokubonisa isithakazelo sokuqala, kuyalimaza. Kodwa kuvusa isifiso sokugqoka isigqoko sakho somseshi futhi uqonde ukuthi kungani enzela kude ngokuzumayo. Ingabe kukhona okwenzile? Bekungafanele yini usho amakati akho angu-8? Hhayi-ke, kungaba nezizathu eziningi zokuthi umfana enze okungajwayelekile noma aqhelelane nawe. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuthi uyokha ama-rose petals futhi udlale "uyangithanda, akangithandi", ake siqonde ukuthi kungani umfana enza kude uma ekuthanda. Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokuzibuza ukuthi, “Kungani enesithakazelo emzuzwini owodwa bese eqhelelana nolandelayo?,” funda ukuze uthole zonke izimpendulo...
Izizathu Ezingu-8 Abafana Bekwenza Ukude Uma Bekuthanda
Okuqukethwe
Ingabe abafana bayaziqhelelanisa uma bethanda intombazane? Yebo. Kungani abafana benza lokho? Nokho, lokho kungaphezu kwendawo yokuqonda okunengqondo. Iqiniso liwukuthi: amadoda ayinkimbinkimbi. Bavame ukwenza izinto ezingenangqondo kakhulu lapho begajwe yimizwa.
Uma indoda iziphatha njengenentshisekelo, bese ihoxa, kunethuba elikhulu lokuthi izokufela. Kungani-ke, iziphatha njengenganendaba nawe? Ngoba ayazi ukuthi yenzeni ngale mizwa. Ngisho noma usebudlelwaneni obuzinikele nabo, amadoda angaqala ngokuzumayo ukuziphatha ngokude lapho izinto ziqala ukuba zimbi kakhulu. Nazi izizathu eziyisithupha ezingaphendula lo mbuzo: “Kungani amadoda enza sengathi anentshisekelo, bese engalandeli?”
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuntuleka Kothando Nokusondelana Ebudlelwaneni — Izindlela Eziyi-9 Okukuthinta Ngazo
1. Wesaba imizwa
Uthando luwumzwelo onamandla. Nakuba wonke ama-roses nama-violin edlala ngemuva kwabanye, kwabanye, uthando lungasabeka kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, uma kwenzeka uzithola uthi, “Uyangithanda kodwa uhlala kude”, futhi uzibuze ukuthi kungani, bheka ezinye zezimpawu zokwesaba okunjalo. Uma abafana bephelelwa intshisekelo lapho ukwesaba imizwa kudlalwa, kungaba nezizathu eziningi zokuthi kungani :
- Uma unqotshwa imizwa enamandla njengothando, kuba nzima ukucubungula umuzwa
- Kungenzeka ukuhlela umshado nawe ekhanda lakhe kodwa uyesaba kakhulu ukungena ezintweni ezingokoqobo zobudlelwano
- Ezinye izici zempilo ziphushelwa ekushiseni ngemuva lapho uthando lushaya, futhi abafana baqala ukuzizwa belahlekile
- Ukuveza imizwa akuyona isudi eqine kakhulu kwabesilisa, ngenxa ye-patriarchy, futhi lokhu kuhlakanipha okulinganiselwe ngokomzwelo kubangela ukuba baziqhelelanise uma bethanda intombazane.
Omunye wabangane bami, u-Anna, wangitshela ukuthi ukholelwa ukuthi umuntu engisebenza naye umthanda kakhulu. Wathi, “Saqala ukuzwana ngesikhathi sokudla kwasemini. Uyangigqolozela kodwa akangithandi lapho ngizama ukukhuluma ngezinto zomuntu siqu. Nginomuzwa wokuthi ungisukela kancane, kodwa-ke, angiqiniseki. Hhayi-ke, kungaba yingoba uthola ukuthi umqondo wokuba sebudlelwaneni uyaheha kodwa ugajwe yimizwa yakhe. Ngakho amadoda anjalo aqala ukwenza izinto ezikude ngokuzumayo.
2. Uyathanda ukuzibophezela
Kukangaki uthandana nomfana onyamalala ebusweni bomhlaba ngesikhathi ofuna ukungena ebudlelwaneni obungathi sína nobuzinikele? Ingabe uvame ukuzithola ukhononda ngokuthi, “Uyangithanda kodwa uhlala kude naye”? Khumbula, ubudlelwano obuzinikele buyisinyathelo esikhulu kwabesilisa. Umqondo wobudlelwano ufana nokulahlekelwa umuzwa wenkululeko kubo.
Mhlawumbe uthanda umqondo wokuhlala e-bachelor pad futhi adlale imidlalo yevidiyo nabafana ngaphezu komqondo wokuchitha usuku lwakhe ezitolo zokuthenga nawe. Noma mhlawumbe akuwena wedwa owesifazane empilweni yakhe. Mhlawumbe unesithakazelo komunye umuntu manje, futhi ufuna ukugcina izinketho zakhe zivulekile!
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Nazi Izindlela Eziyi-11 Zokuthola Uma Indoda Yakho Ikugwema
Iqembu lamadoda labuzwa, “Kungani abafana beziqhelelanisa uma bethanda intombazane?” Amadoda amaningi abe nale mpendulo elandelayo: “Lapho amadoda ephelelwa isithakazelo ezintwenimbi zawo noma lapho ephola noma ebonakala ethanda, ikakhulukazi ngoba efuna ukuhlola okwengeziwe. Yisimo sengqondo 'sezinhlanzi eziningi olwandle' esidlalwa lapha. Iningi labesilisa alingeni ebudlelwaneni obuzibophezele kuze kube yiminyaka engu-30 ngoba alikakakulungeli ukuzibopha.
3. Wenza izinto ezikude ngenxa yezinto adlule kuzo
Amadoda awazona iziwula ezingokomzwelo angase abonakale eyizo ngezinye izikhathi. Uma umfana enza intshisekelo, bese ehlehla, isizathu asihlangene nawe futhi sihlobene kakhulu naye. Izigigaba zakhe ezedlule zingase ziphazamise amaphupho akho othando. Kungenzeka ukuthi:
- Ubenemali noma ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo ngozakwabo wangaphambili
- Uqhathwe yintombi yakhe yakudala
- Uke walinyazwa kakhulu umlingani ngaphambili, ngezingxabano mayelana nokushiyeka kwakhe, futhi ngenxa yalokho, uqapha phezulu.
Ngakho-ke, uma ulokhu uzitshela ukuthi, "Uyangigqolozela kodwa enze ngokunganaki", noma uyazibuza ukuthi kwenzekani kuNkosana wakho ophelele u-Charming nokuthi kungani enza kude ngokuzumayo, mhlawumbe kungenxa yokuthi ukuqina kobudlelwane kuye kwabangela imizwa engakulungele ukuyicubungula futhi ngaleyo ndlela ugcina ibanga lakhe ukuze avikele inhliziyo yakhe. Kungaba indlela yokuzivikela ukuze aphephe ukuthi inhliziyo yakhe iphinde iphihlizwe ibe yizicucu eziyisigidi.
4. Akacabangi ukuthi uzobuyisela imizwa yakhe
Kungani ezenza sengathi unesithakazelo ngomzuzu owodwa bese ekude ngomzuzu olandelayo, uyazibuza? Nokho, esinye sezizathu eziyinhloko ezenza abafana baziqhelelanise uma bethanda intombazane ukuthi basaba kalula lapho owesifazane abamthandayo ngempela ebukeka njengomodeli ovela kumagazini. Uma becabanga ukuthi awusekho eqenjini labo , abafana bavame ukuba nombono wokuthi cishe ngeke ubabuyisele imizwa yabo.
Ngakho, izizathu ezimbalwa zalokhu kungaba:
- Uzwa sengathi awumthandi emuva, mhlawumbe ngoba awuvezi kakhulu
- Uhola kakhulu kunaye, futhi uyakwazi lokho
- Ubukeka uzilungise kangcono kunami
- Ubonakala uhlakaniphe kakhulu kunaye futhi uthanda izinto azithandayo, njengokufunda noma ukudansa, okungeyona inkomishi yakhe yetiye
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Kungani Amadoda Eqhelelana Ngemva Kokusondelana?
“Yilokho engikwenzayo. Njengoba ngimazi, ngiyabona ukuthi muhle kangakanani futhi ngikholelwa ukuthi ufanelwe okwengeziwe. Ukuzizwa ngibalulekile kuyaphazamiseka,” kusho uMarcus, engisebenza naye osecela eminyakeni engu-20. Nazi ezinye izimo lapho isimo esinjalo singenzeka:
- Ukude kodwa usakubhalela
- Uhlangana nawe kaningi, kodwa hhayi ngomdlandla omkhulu
- Akakwesabi futhi ukhuluma njalo kodwa akangeni ezihlokweni zomuntu siqu
5. Wavele wathatheka ekuqaleni
Ngakho-ke, kungani indoda idlala ngothando bese ihoxa? Kwabesilisa abaningi, isizathu sokuzibophezela kowesifazane akuyona nje indlela abukeka ngayo noma izimfanelo zakhe kodwa futhi nenjabulo oyilethayo etafuleni. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano , indoda ingase ikhangeke kuwe, kodwa njengoba isikhathi sihamba, cishe ayitholi injabulo ayifunayo. Ngakho-ke, uthando luqala ukuphela. Ezimweni ezinjalo, ingase ikuthande kodwa izoqala ukwenza izinto ngokude. Esimweni esinjalo, ukuziphatha okude akuphathelene nawe ngokukhethekile, kodwa mayelana nezidingo kanye nokulindelwe yileyo ndoda.
6. Unemigomo ehlukene empilweni
Ingabe indoda izoyeka uma ikuthanda? Yebo, yebo. Amadoda angakuthanda kodwa angafuni ukuzibophezela ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside uma imigomo yakho ingahambisani. Wonke umuntu unendlela ayilandelayo futhi akathandi ukulahlwa kuyo. Ungase ucabange ukuthi lo ngumlingani wakho ophelele, kodwa lapho indoda yenza izinto ngendlela exakile eduze kwakho ngokuzumayo, cishe isuke iqaphele ukuthi ayiboni ikusasa nawe.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe Imibhangqwana Kufanele Ibe Nemigomo? Yebo, Imigomo Yombhangqwana Ingasiza Ngempela…
Umngane, uNancy, wayesethandane nomfana isikhathi esingaphezu kwenyanga. Nokho, lapho umfana ebona ukuthi wayengakakulungeli ukuphuma ezweni, waphelelwa isithakazelo futhi waqala ukwenza kude. Lapho sixoxa nami, uNancy wangithululela isifuba, “Ukude kodwa usabhala imiyalezo engathi singabangane abakhulu.
Wabe esebuza, “Kungani enza sengathi uyangithanda ngolunye usuku hhayi olulandelayo?” Yilapho wazi ukuthi umfana ubekuthanda kodwa akazange alibone ikusasa ngenxa yezinhloso ezahlukene ngakho-ke, akazange afise ukuchitha isikhathi sakho. Ngakho-ke, kulokhu, kungenzeka ukuthi wayeyisoka elihle kodwa wamshiya ngenxa yokukhula kwakhe siqu. Noma kunjalo, wayefuna ukuhlala bengabangane kunokuba amhole.
7. Wayethanda ucansi kuphela
Ngakho-ke, ingabe insizwa ingabamba isandla sakho uma ingenasithakazelo? Impela ubezokwenza, uma kuyilokho okudingeka ukuthi akunxenxe ngocansi. Kuyiqiniso elidabukisayo, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, yingakho umfana ebonisa isithakazelo, bese ehlehla. Akuhlangene nawe futhi kumayelana nezinhloso zakhe. Cishe wayenesithakazelo sokuqala ubuhlobo bomzimba hhayi ubuhlobo besikhathi eside.
Uma wenqaba noma ukubeke kwacaca ukuthi awunandaba nokuqonywa, bekungaholela ekutheni anyamalale ngoba ebona ukuthi ngeke akuthole abekufuna. Lapho amadoda ephelelwa isithakazelo, ngokuvamile awachithi isikhathi eseduze. Ngakho-ke, ungazibuzi, "Kungani enza sengathi uyangithanda ngolunye usuku hhayi olulandelayo?", Uma usuyazi impendulo. Odinga ukukwenza wukunyakazisa ukuphika futhi wamukele iqiniso, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lilimaza kangakanani.
8. Awuzange umenze azizwe eyiqhawe
Usazibuza, "Kungani umfana edlala ngothando abese eyeka?" Lapho umfana evele egodola kuwe, kungenzeka ukuthi akakutholi ukusindisa 'intombi ecindezelekile'. Enye yezimbangela ezivelele zendoda ebambe intshisekelo umzuzu owodwa bese ikude elandelayo ihlobene nesayensi yezinto eziphilayo kanye nesayikholoji yabantu. Kunombono owaziwa kancane ophoqa insizwa ukuthi izinikele noma ibaleke. Lokhu kuhlobene nendlela azizwa ngayo ngawe.
Uyabona, konke kuncike ekuvezeni iqhawe langaphakathi emadodeni. I -hero instinct , umqondo owasungulwa uchwepheshe wezobudlelwano uJames Bauer, ukhuluma ngalokho okushukumisa amadoda ebudlelwaneni futhi okufakwe ku-DNA yawo. Futhi iningi labesifazane alinalo ulwazi ngakho. Ngakho-ke, uma eqala ukwenza izinto ezikude, mhlawumbe kungenxa yokuthi ungowesifazane ozimele futhi akakuthandanga lokho.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ingabe indoda yakho inawe ukuze nje ilale? Izimpawu ezingu-20 okufanele uziqaphele!
Izinto Ezingu-10 Okufanele Uzenze Uma Insizwa Enentshisekelo Bese Iyahlehla
Ngakho-ke, manje sesiyazi impendulo yombuzo oshisayo, “Kungani amadoda enza sengathi anesithakazelo bese ehoxa?” Kodwa-ke, ukudideka kanye nesiphithiphithi sangaphakathi lapho indoda yenza sengathi inesithakazelo kodwa bese ihoxa kungacasula. Kungaba nezizathu eziningi ngemuva kokuba indoda ibonise isithakazelo bese ihoxa, kodwa futhi kuyiqiniso ukuthi lapho amadoda elahlekelwa isithakazelo, cishe azokuphazamisa unomphela, ngaphandle kokubuya futhi. Ngaphambi kokuthi uzisholo ukuthi awufanelekeli uthando oluqhutshwa ukuziphatha kwayo okushisayo nokubandayo , bheka uhlu lwethu lwezinto eziyi-10 okufanele uzenze lapho indoda yenza sengathi inesithakazelo, bese ihoxa:
1. Khohlwa uqhubeke
Uma uthola umfana esebenza kude ngemva kosuku lokuqala, indlela elula yokubhekana nale nkinga ukumkhohlwa bese uqhubekela phambili. Awudingi ukuchitha amandla akho ngokuzibuza, “Kungani ebonise inzalo bese ekhipha ibheyili?” Noma ekude kodwa esakubhalela, ungamkhuthazi noma ungamkhuthazi noma wakhe izinqaba emoyeni.
Ufanelwe ukuba nomuntu okulungele ukuveza imizwa yakhe futhi ongesabi. Ngakho-ke, uma indoda ivele ikuthukuthelele, kuba ukulahlekelwa kwayo. Kungcono ukuba nendoda ekulungele ukuzibophezela futhi evuthiwe ngokomzwelo ngokwanele ukuveza imizwa yayo.
2. Ungazibeki icala
Ukuzigxeka lapho umfana ebonisa isithakazelo, bese ehlehla ngokuzumayo kuyithikithi elilodwa lokuqeda ukuzethemba nokulahlekelwa ukuzethemba. Kujwayelekile ukuthi uzisole uma insizwa yenza izinto ezixakile eduze kwakho, kodwa kubalulekile ukuthi uzikhumbuze ukuthi awusona isizathu esenza ukuthi enze kude. Ngakho-ke, gwema ukuzibeka icala lapho umfana ekunqamula ngokuzumayo noma ekuhosha ngokomzwelo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Eziphezulu Zesoka Elinobugovu
3. Zijabulise ngokuzinakekela
Ngakho-ke, kwenzekani uma uhoxa kumuntu okupha ukwelashwa okushisayo nokubandayo? Uthola isikhathi esengeziwe sakho. Ukuzikhumbuza ngokubaluleka kwakho nokuthi ungubani kubaluleke kakhulu kulesi simo. Ngakho-ke, zinakekele futhi uchithe isikhathi uzitika ngezinto ezinhle ezinikezwa yimpilo, noma wenze konke okuthandayo, esikhundleni sokuchitha isikhathi sakho lapho ubona izimpawu zokuthi umuntu akakuthandi . Nazi ezinye zezindlela:
- Zihlanganyele nabangani bakho
- Hamba uyedwana uye endaweni oyintandokazi yakho
- Zithokozise ngosuku lwe-spa
- Joyina ijimu futhi ulahlekelwe yilawo makhilogremu engeziwe
Omunye wabangane bami weqembu lesikole sethu, uShania, owaqala ukudlala kude kungazelelwe, washo lokhu kithi engxoxweni ye-iMessage: “Kuyinqaba kakhulu lokhu! Ingabe ukhona kini obone lokhu okuzayo? Ingabe insizwa ibingabamba isandla uma ingenasithakazelo? Yahoxa lapho ngibonisa isithakazelo. Ngenzenjani manje?” Impendulo yethu esheshayo kwaba ukuthi akagqoke aphume ayodla nathi isidlo sakusihlwa esimnandi.”
4. Zibuyisele emdlalweni
Uma usazibuza ukuthi wenzeni lapho indoda yenza sengathi inesithakazelo bese ihoxa ngokuzumayo, impendulo yethu izoba: phuma uyofuna indoda ekukhombisa ukuthi ufanelwe yilo lonke uthando emhlabeni. Uma indoda idlala ngothando, bese iphelelwa yithemba, ungachithi sikhathi ucabanga ngayo. Ufanelwe okungaphezu kwendoda engakwazi ukukutshela imizwa yayo. Ngakho-ke, thola ukubaluleka kwakho!
Khumbula, akekho umuntu okufanele avunyelwe ukufiphaza ukukhanya kwakho. Maningi amadoda laphaya alindele ukuthanda umuntu wesifazane omuhle njengawe. Ngakho-ke, uma usukulungele, buyela emdlalweni. Qala ukuthandana namadoda anamandla futhi akwazisayo ngalokho oyikho!
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ungasabela Kanjani Ekugubheni Izipoki Ngaphandle Kokulahlekelwa Yingqondo Yakho?
5. Veza imizwa yakho
Ngakho-ke, yini into engcono kakhulu ongayenza lapho umfana ekunqamula ngokuzumayo? Njengoba sesishilo ngenhla, esinye sezizathu ezenza abafana baziphathele kude uma bekuthanda ukuthi banomuzwa wokuthi ngeke ubuyisele imizwa yabo. Ngakho-ke, uma uthola umfana esebenza kude ngemva kosuku lokuqala, futhi uyazibuza ukuthi kungani ehlehla kungazelelwe, zibuze, "Ingabe uyazi ukuthi ngizizwa kanjani?"
Uma impendulo ithi “cha,” thatha isinyathelo sokuqala futhi uveze imizwa yakho ngaso leso sikhathi, ukuze nobabili nibe sekhasini elilodwa. Okubili okuhle kungavela kulokhu:
- Okungenani, ngeke ushiywe udidekile
- Maningi amathuba okuthi lokhu kungaba yisiqalo se-a ubudlelwano obuhle nobunothando
6. Ungavumeli imizwa ikulawule
Kuthiwani ngomthetho wokuheha uma ehosha? Nokho, ungase udonseleke kuye kunanini ngaphambili. Kodwa lapho umfana enza isithakazelo, bese ehlehla, akagcini nje ngokuhlambalaza ubungcwele bemizwelo yakho kodwa futhi uyakuthuka. Ngaphandle kwalapho kunokuntuleka kokuxhumana kuzo zombili izinhlangothi, akulungile ukuba akushiye uzibuza, “Kungani esenzela kude ngokuzumayo?” Ngakho-ke, lapho umfana edlala ngothando, bese kubanda, hlala uqinile esinqumweni sakho futhi unqamule, esikhundleni sokuzitshela kabuhlungu, “Wahoxa lapho ngibonisa isithakazelo.”
Noma ekude kodwa esabhala imiyalezo, ungamvumeli akulawule. Kulula kakhulu ukugajwa imizwa lapho unikele ngesikhathi namandla kumuntu. Kodwa khumbula, ukuzihlonipha kwakho kungaphezu kwakho konke futhi akufanele ube nomuntu ongavuthwanga ukubhekana nemizwa yakhe futhi ukhulume njengomuntu omdala. Kungase futhi kube esinye sezibonakaliso umfana afuna ukuthi uyeke. Ngakho, vele uhlehle futhi ubone ukuthi wenzani.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukukhohlisa Kothando - Izinto Eziyi-15 Ezifihliwe Njengothando
7. Hlola izinto ozilibazisayo kanye nothando lwakho
Usazibuza ukuthi kwenzekani uma uhlukana nomfana? Nokho, uthola ithuba lokutshala imali ezintweni ozithandayo kanye nentshisekelo yakho. Wonke umuntu udinga ukuphumula ebudlelwaneni , ikakhulukazi uma kungumdlalo oshisayo noma oletha imizwa eminingi emibi. Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokuhlala uzibuza, “Kungani ehlala nami?”, mshiye yedwa bese uthola okuthile okukwenza umomotheke, noma ngabe kungukuzicwilisa emsebenzini, futhi kukusize ubhekane nobuhlungu obhekene nabo njengamanje.
- Thatha umsebenzi wokuzilibazisa wakudala owawukhohliwe, njengethenisi noma ukudweba
- Funda ikhono elisha, njengolimi olusha noma ubuciko bokupheka
- Nikeza i-100% yakho emsebenzini wakho, uma ukukhuphuka izitebhisi zebhizinisi kuwukuthanda kwakho
8. Ungamenzeli izaba
Ngakho-ke, ushiywe uzibuza, "Kungani esenzela kude ngokuzumayo?" Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi abesifazane bavame ukwenza izaba ezihlukahlukene kumuntu abamthandayo, ngisho noma into abayithandayo ingamthandi emuva. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase uzitshele ukuthi, “Mhlawumbe ungijaha kancane.”
Kodwa-ke, njengoba abantu benenkululeko yokuziphatha ngendlela abayithandayo, lokhu kungenzeka kungenye yezinto ezimbi kakhulu ongazenza. Ngoba nje ekwenze wazizwa uyinto engcono kakhulu wabe eseshintsha waba umuntu ohlukile ngokuphelele, ukuziphatha kwakhe akufanele kuthethelelwe. Uma indoda idlala ngothando, bese iphelelwa yisineke, ungazitsheli ukuthi imatasa nje ngomsebenzi. Lokhu kungaba futhi olunye lwezimpawu indoda efuna ukuthi uhlehle kuzo , nganoma yisiphi isizathu. Akungabazeki ukuthi inesizathu, kodwa akusiwona umthwalo wakho ukuthola ukuthi siyini.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinkinga Ezi-6 Zobudlelwano Abantu Abaneminyaka Eyinkulungwane Abaziletha Kakhulu Ekwelapheni
9. Gcina ibanga lakho
Kunomugqa omncane kakhulu, ocishe ungabonakali, phakathi kwelukuluku nokuthatheka. Uma umfana enza intshisekelo, bese ehlehla, kulungile ukuba nelukuluku futhi uzibuze ukuthi "Kungani ehlala nami?" Kodwa ungabi matasa kakhulu ngaye. Yeka ukuzama ukuthola impendulo ethi “Kungani ebonise isithakazelo wabe esekhipha ibheyili?” Asifuni ukuthi uguqule u-Joe Goldberg Wakho futhi uqale ukumcupha, ukumsongela, noma ukumhlukumeza.
Umthetho wokukhanga lapho eqhela uzokwenza umlandele, ngokwemvelo. Ungavumeli lokho. Uma egcina ibanga lakhe, nawe kufanele ugcine elakho. Ngisho noma eyeka ukuthumela imiyalezo bese eqala kabusha , akusho ukuthi ungamthumelela imiyalezo usuku lonke. Kunalokho, funda ukungamnaki. Eqinisweni, hlehla ubone ukuthi wenzani. Angase axhumane nawe futhi uma ekuthanda ngempela.
10. Yazi ukuthi ulufanele uthando
Esinye iseluleko sokuphola esingathanda ukukunikeza sona ngokuqinisekile yilesi: ngisho nalapho amadoda ephelelwa isithakazelo ngemva kokubonisa isithakazelo ekuqaleni, ungadabuki noma uvumele ukuthi kuthinte ingqondo yakho. Akuyona into enkulu. Nakuba ukuhlangana nomuntu ofana naye kungenakwenzeka (futhi lokho mhlawumbe kuyinto enhle), ungaqiniseka ukuthi omunye umuntu uzongena empilweni yakho futhi akunikeze injabulo nothando esikhundleni sosizi obhekene nalo njengamanje. Qiniseka ukuthi awukuthathi ukwenqatshwa kwezothando njengokuhlasela kwakho siqu. Nakhu ongakwenza esikhundleni salokho:
- Khumbula ukuzazisa wena nakho konke okwenzayo, futhi uqhubeke ngejubane lakho
- Gxila kwikusasa kanye namathuba amahle azayo, kungaba izindlela ezintsha zomsebenzi, ubudlelwano, noma izinto zokuzilibazisa
- Thanda abantu abakuthandayo futhi wengeze inani emhlabeni wakho, kungaba abangani bakho noma umndeni wakho
- Zama ukwamukela imibono emisha ngayo kokubili inhliziyo nengqondo yakho
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Imingcele Eyishumi Yobudlelwano Obunempilo Okufanele Uyilandele
Ngakho-ke, ingabe umfana uzoyeka uma ekuthanda? Impela angakwazi. Futhi ungasala uzibuza, “Uma ngibonisa isithakazelo uyahlehla. Ingabe lokho kungokwemvelo?” Kodwa ukuthola ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze lapho umfana enza isithakazelo, bese ehlehla ngokuzumayo kungaba nzima kubantu. Ukubheka nina nobabili njengabangane eningase nibe nabo kudinga isibindi esikhulu. Ngakho, lapho iphupho lifika liphahlazeka, umphumela ungaba buhlungu.
Kodwa khumbula ukuthi uma umfana enza intshisekelo bese ehlehla, akulona iphutha lakho noma umthwalo wakho. Umuntu omdala ovuthiwe ubengeke akushiye udidekile kodwa ubengakwazisa ngokusobala ukuthi izinto azihambi kahle. Ngakho-ke, nansi imicabango yokugcina evela ekugcineni kwethu: ungazivumeli uzibuze mayelana namandla akho. Kodwa ubambe ikhanda phezulu umshiye ngemuva.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Sivame ukuzithola sizibuza, "Kungani abafana beshintsha ngokushesha kangaka?" Hhayi-ke, isizathu esikhulu esenza amadoda ahoxe ukwesaba imizwa yawo. Umcabango wobudlelwane uyakhanga kubo, kodwa umzamo uyabethusa.
Lapho abafana belahlekelwa isithakazelo ngemva kokubonisa isithakazelo ekuqaleni, kungaba nezizathu eziningi. Kungenzeka ukuthi wayelindele okuthile okuhlukile ekhanda lakhe yingakho ayencenga. Kodwa-ke, maningi amathuba okuthi ubudlelwano abuyona into abeyilindele, ngakho wahoxa.
Yebo. Amadoda amaningi awakwazi ukubhekana nemizwa yawo. Umqondo wothando uyabethusa, futhi uma ngokungazelele bezizwa benqotshwa imizwelo ngomuntu, bayonyamalala futhi bahlale bekude kunokuba babe nesibindi sokumtshela ngemizwa yabo. Ngakho, ngezinye izikhathi, uyothola amantombazane ezibuza, “Uma ngibonisa isithakazelo uyahlehla.
Izindlela Eziyi-9 Zokudlula Futhi Ubhekane Nothando Olungenanzuzo
Izinyathelo Eziyisi-6 Ongazithatha Uma Uzizwa Uvaleleke Ebudlelwaneni
Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Eziyisixwayiso Umlingani Wakho Ulahlekelwa Isithakazelo Ebudlelwaneni
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
