Izehlukaniso azihlali ziphathelene nezindaba, ukukopela, ukungathembeki, ukudakwa noma ukuhlukumeza. Ngezinye izikhathi abantu ababili abalungile ngendlela yabo bangase babe okungalungile komunye nomunye futhi bangahlukana emshadweni oseneminyaka engaba ngamashumi amabili. Ungasilungiselela kanjani isehlukaniso lapho kungekho lutho noma kungekho muntu ongamsola?
Ukulungiselela isehlukaniso kuyinto eyodwa, kodwa ukulungiselela izingane isehlukaniso akuwona umsebenzi olula. Ukubenza baqonde zonke izinhlelo zokusebenza, nokuthi impilo yabo izohluka kanjani njengoba abazali babo bengasekho kuyisihloko esibucayi okufanele sikhulume ngaso.
Uzilungiselela Kanjani Isehlukaniso?
Okuqukethwe
Bengingaphuma emshadweni wami okhohlakele cishe eminyakeni eyishumi edlule lapho ngibona ukuthi ngilahlekelwe kanjani kulobu budlelwano. Yonke into yayibonakala iqhuma, kodwa ngangazi ukuthi kufanele nginikeze konke engangingakwenza noma konke engangikudinga ngaphambi kokuyibiza ngokuthi ifile. Kwakuwukuphela kwendlela yokuphuma kuyo ngaphandle kokuphulwa.
The izizathu zokungaphumeleli kobudlelwano kungenxa yokuthi sisebenza kanzima ukuze sibenze basebenze; zisebenza ngoba zidinga ukugeleza ngaphandle kokuphoqwa. Yebo, udinga ukutshala isikhathi nokuzikhandla kukho, kodwa akufanele kubonakale kuwumsebenzi. Futhi lapho uqaphela ukuthi lo mshado awusebenzi, inqubo yokulungiselela isehlukaniso isiqalile.
Zilungiselelwa Kanjani Izingane Ukuze Idivose?
Wena, njengomuntu omdala, ungase ukwazi ukulungiselela isehlukaniso, futhi usulungele ngokuphelele, kodwa uzokwephula kanjani izingane? Lapho usufunde ukuzilungiselela isehlukaniso, kudingeka ube mnene kodwa ubhekane namaqiniso lapho utshela izingane zakho ukuthi abazali bazo abasathandani.
Siyazi ukuthi idivosi kunzima ukubhekana nayo, ngakho-ke lapha sikunikeza izinyathelo ongazithatha lapho ulungiselela isehlukaniso ezinganciphisa umthwalo wakho kancane nje.
Indaba yomehluko
Sasingabantu ababili abahlukene - abahluke njengoshoki noshizi. Okuwukuphela kwentambo eyasixhuma kwakuyizingane zethu ezimbili ezinhle futhi LESO akusona isizathu esanele sokuhlala emshadweni ongajabulisi. Kuwumbhedo imibhangqwana eminingi izondla ukuze ifihle iqiniso.
Isinqumo sokushiya sasingenzima, ingxenye enzima kakhulu kwakuwukushiya - ngamanye amazwi, indlela yokuphula umndeni ngomonakalo omncane wesibambiso. Ngangidinga ukulungiselela izingane zami (enye isemusha, enye engakafiki eshumini nambili) ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo. Sengidlule kulelo phepha, ngineseluleko esisodwa kuphela engingasinikeza noma ubani osezicathulweni zami: kufanele ube nohlelo olucatshangelwe mayelana nalo. indlela yokukhuluma nezingane zakho ngesehlukaniso ngaphandle kokubethusa.
Ukuzilungiselela futhi kwakuyindlela ekhuthazayo yokuzilungiselela (engiyibona kuphela ngemuva manje). Ngaleso sikhathi, engangikwazi nje ukuthi kwakufanele ngibahlomise kahle ukuze babhekane nalesi siphithiphithi ngesibindi, amandla kanye nokuzwela futhi ngibafundise ukuthi bangesabi ukuba sengozini.
Ukuvuleka
Kwakuyilungiselelo elicashile kakhulu. Ngangingeke ngiyifihle imizwa yami lapho kuqubuka ukungezwani phakathi kwami noyise wabo - ngangiziveza ngokungananazi ngize ngihluleke ngezinye izikhathi phambi kwabo ngibatshele kahle ukuthi ngizizwa kanjani, ukuthi ngangingasazizwa kanjani naye nokuthi ngangidinga kanjani ukuba kude naye ukuze ngiphile futhi ngihlale ngiphilile.
Izingane zami manje zingitshela ukuthi, “Kwakugxilile ekukhuliseni kwakho, Mama. Izigaba ezihlukene… iqiniso lokuthi awuzange usifihlele lutho. Yindlela nje esikhuliswe ngayo esenze sakwamukela lokhu kalula.” Ngenza konke okusemandleni ami ukulungiselela izingane isehlukaniso, ngakho ngangingaphezu kwenyanga ukuthi basho lokhu kimi.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Ezingu-15 Ezicashile Nokho Eziqinile Umshado Wakho Uyophela Ngesehlukaniso
Ngiyelapha mina
Ngabona nokuthi kufanele ngizelapha ngokugcwele ngaphambi kokuba ngiphume kulo mshado. Ngangingafuni ukuthwala umunyu, izilonda, amanxeba, namagqubu njengengxenye yomthwalo wami. Kwakumele kungcwatshwe ngaphambi kokuthi ngiqhubeke. Udinga ukuzilungiselela isehlukaniso kakhulu ngaphambi kokuba inqubo yomthetho iqale.
Ukushaya ijimu nsuku zonke kubuyise ingqondo yami. Ngenza Isitifiketi njengomsebenzi we-NLP; ngibe i-Angel Card Reader eyandulelwa ukubhalisela izifundo ze-Archetypal Consultant ukuze ngiqonde ama-archetypes ami futhi ngijule emphefumulweni wami ukuze ngihlole ukuthi ngingubani ekujuleni komgogodla nokuthi ngenziwa ini njengomuntu.
Kwakuwuhambo lwangaphakathi olwanginika amandla amakhulu. Ukusakaza i-archetype eyodwa endlini ngayinye yezinkanyezi eshadini lami lokuzalwa kwembula indlela engangizizwa ngayo, engangicabanga futhi ngiziphatha ngayo. Kwakujabulisa ukuzazi kunanini ngaphambili.
Ukuwohloka kancane kancane nokuqhubekayo komshado kwembula amaqiniso amakhulu. Kwangisiza ukuba ngiqonde ukuthi kungani kungazange kusebenze, yini eyonakele lapho, izikhala, okwakulindelwe, ukudumazeka, ukwesaba, amathunzi, ubumnyama kanye nokuncipha okukhulayo kwanoma yikuphi okungenzeka kokuchibiyela.
Ngesikhathi siyeka ukuba indoda nomfazi, ubuhlobo bashintshwa unomphela. Once the Amandla ocansi ebudlelwaneni zaguqulwa futhi zakhishwa ku-equation, kanye nokuyeka ukuba umbhangqwana, ngokwenhlalo nangokomzwelo, umshado waba lula futhi singakwazi ukusizana ukuphulukisa. Njengoba ukukhangwa ngokomzimba/ngokwengqondo kwakusokhukhweni lokufa, ukubuyelana kwakungasekho etafuleni njengenketho.
Ukukhululwa okubusisiwe
Sobabili sasingasazami ukukwenza futhi silimazana phakathi nenqubo. Kunalokho, kwakumayelana nokukhululana nokudedela umshado ngozwela nomusa omkhulu ngangokunokwenzeka, nakuba kwakungelula.
Amanxeba amaningi aphinde avakashelwa, imizwa nemizwa eminingi yaphithana futhi yaphithana, izibazi eziningi zakhazimula futhi zabukisa - kwakungcolile njengesihogo. Amalungiselelo edivosi made futhi anzima, kodwa kuyinto ongeke uyibalekele.
Kuthathe iminyaka engu-8 ukufika endaweni lapho izingane zazinethezeke ngokuhlukana futhi zikhule ngokwanele ukuba ziqonde ubunkimbinkimbi bayo obujulile. Futhi thina njengabazali sasisendaweni lapho sasifisa ukuba khona – abangani (emva kokuchitha iminyaka engu-24 yokuphila kwethu ndawonye) futhi sibe khona ekuphileni komunye nomunye – njengobukhona obungeke bushabalale; umuntu esingaphendukela kuye ebunzimeni.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Isehlukaniso simayelana nokudedela, hhayi ukubamba
Nokho, manje, ngokwehlukana, ukuphila kancane kancane kuya endaweni yethu sobane. Isikhathi sosizi sokulahlekelwa ukuphila enganginakho nokuba unkosikazi womuntu siya ngokuya siphela. Futhi njengoba ngithatha uchungechunge lwempilo yami entsha, nginokuthula ukuthi ngiphokophele eSigabeni Sesehlukaniso Esingcwele – into engangihlale ngiyifisa futhi ngiyithandazela.
Indlela yokusilungiselela isehlukaniso nokuthi yini ongayilindela ngaphambi kokufaka isicelo kuhlanganisa ingxenye eyodwa ebalulekile evame ukunganakwa - umusa. Yiba nomusa kuwe nasezinganeni zakho njengoba uzilungiselela ngokwengqondo impilo entsha. Isehlukaniso akulula, kodwa uyazi ukuthi isiphi isikhathi emshadweni kudingekile.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Okokuqala, badinga umthombo ozinzile wemali engenayo ukuze baphume baqale impilo kabusha. Okwesibili, kubalulekile ukuthola amalungiselelo okugcinwa kwezingane futhi uqinisekise ukuthi impilo yezingane ithintwa kancane ngangokunokwenzeka.
Ukulungiselela isehlukaniso kuyakhathaza ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo, ngakho-ke abesifazane kufanele bazi ukuthi bangena kuphi, futhi bazame ukuhlukanisa imizwa kunengqondo ngangokunokwenzeka.
Qala ukubona ngeso lengqondo impilo yakho entsha, futhi ucabange ngayo ngendlela eyakhayo. Cabanga ukuthi ukuqeda lo mshado kuyokuqeda kanjani usizi lwakho, futhi ekugcineni uyokwazi ukwenza konke obukufuna, ngaphandle kokuhlala ukhathazeke ngokufadalala komshado wasekhaya.
Izizathu Ezingu-8 Ezenza Amakamelo Okulala Ahlukene Alungele Abashadile
12 Imithetho Yokukhuliswa Ngokuhlanganyela Kwabashadile Abahlukanisile
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Owakwenza wawuhlakaniphe kakhulu! Isehlukaniso asisona isinyathelo esilula futhi ngokuqinisekile sihilela okungaphezu nje kwendoda nomfazi. Iqiniso lokuthi ukhethe ukuzilungiselela ngokwengqondo wena kanye nezingane zakho ngenhlekelele ezayo libonisa ukuthi ungowesifazane oqinile onekhanda eliqinile nokuthi uyakuqonda ukubaluleka kokuvalwa okwenziwa ngokubona kusengaphambili kuhlale kwenza iziqalo ezintsha zibe lula. Ngifuna ukukubonga ngokubhala lo mbhalo oqondisisa.
Siyabonga Siddhartha
Kuyakhuthaza