Umshado Wami Uyawa - Uchwepheshe Uphakamisa Izindlela Eziyi-13 Zokuwuguqula

Umshado uyi-rollercoaster, bathi. Kungakwenza udidizele yinjabulo, noma kukwenze ube nesicanucanu kancane ngokukuthela amathonsi kungazelelwe, kukushiye ucabanga, 'umshado wami uyabhidlika.' Kwesinye isikhathi ukubona kungazelelwe, noma kungaba umuzwa omude olokhu umile oholela emzuzwini wokucaca.

'Umshado wami uyabhidlika angazi ngenzenjani'. Yeka into esabekayo, enesizungu ukuqaphela, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bekuwumshado omude noma omusha. Ingabe uhlala futhi ulungisa izinto? Ingabe uvele unikezele futhi uhambe? Ingabe uyakhuluma nothile ngakho, noma uyazigcina kuwe bese uzama ukulungisa izinto?

Yonke imishado ihlukile futhi ekugcineni, kukubantu abasemshadweni ukuthi bafuna ukuhlala balwe, noma bavele badedele bahambe. Zombili lezi zinqumo okunzima ukuzenza, ikakhulukazi lapho udliwa umcabango othi 'umshado wami uyabhidlika.'

Sicabange ukuthi kwakudingeka usizo oluthile lochwepheshe kuleli cala. Sabuza Shazia Saleem, (Ongoti kwiPsychology), ogxile ekululekeni ngokwehlukana kanye nezehlukaniso ngokuthi yini okumele uyenze uma ucabanga, 'umshado wami uyabhidlika' nokuthi ungaziguqula kanjani izinto.

Yiziphi Izimpawu Zokuthi Umshado Wakho Uyahlakazeka?

Ngaphambi kokuthi uzame ukulungisa izinto futhi ukhathazeke, 'Ngizwa sengathi umshado wami uyabhidlika', kubalulekile ukuqonda izimpawu ezithile zokuthi lokho okwesabayo kuyenzeka.

“Lapho abantu ababili besemshadweni, kungokwemvelo ukuba babone ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle lapho kuphakama ubuhlobo obuthile,” kusho. Shazia. Uveza izimpawu ezithile zokuthi umshado wakho uyabhidlika - izinto okufanele uzibheke ukuze ungashaqeki ngokuphelele futhi umangale, ushiywe ucabanga, 'umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi angazi ukuthi ngenzenjani.'

• Ukuxhumana okunganele - Izingqinamba Zokuxhumana zingenye yezimpawu zokuqala zomshado noma ubudlelwano obuhlukanayo. Uma ungakhulumi, ungathinteki noma ungabelani ngemicabango yakho nganoma iyiphi indlela, kube nokuhlukana kokuxhumana okunihlanganise kwasekuqaleni.
• Umqondo wokuhlukaniswa - Mhlawumbe ucabanga ukuthi 'umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi anginandaba'. Noma mhlawumbe ucabanga, 'umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi umyeni wami akanandaba, nami anginandaba.' Ukuhlukaniswa kungaba uphawu oluyingozi ngoba kusho ukuthi usuwuhlolile umshado wakho ngezinga elithile
• Ukuzizwa ungalondekile nokulimala - Uma uhlezi uzizwa untengantenga emshadweni wakho, ungaqiniseki ukuthi umi kuphi nomngane wakho womshado futhi uzizwa unesidingo sokulimazana njalo, maningi amathuba okuthi umshado wakho ubonisa ukuqhekeka okuthile.
• Ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo - Umshado ungase ungabi yonke into ezolile kanye ne-roses ne-champagne, kodwa noma yikuphi ubuhlobo obunempilo unomuzwa oyisisekelo wokuthula nokwethembana odinga ukuba namandla kunanoma yiziphi izingxabano noma izingxabano ezenzekayo. Uma umshado wakho unezinxushunxushu ezingokomzwelo njalo, sekuyisikhathi sokuwubheka kahle, futhi isikhathi eside.
• Ukukhathala - Ukuzizwa ukhathele njalo ebudlelwaneni noma emshadweni kuwuphawu oluqinisekile lokuthi kungenzeka kube ubudlelwano obunobuthi obuqeda amandla omunye wenu noma nobabili. Uma umcabango wakho owodwa, okhathele uthi 'umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi angazi ukuthi ngenzeni', kungenzeka ukuthi yilokho kanye okwenzekayo.
• Ayikwazi ukuveza nokuqonda okwenzekayo – Lapho umshado wakho uzwa sengathi kunenkungu kuwe futhi uhlezi ucabanga ukuthi, 'umshado wami uyabhidlika angazi ukuthi ngenzeni', kodwa awukwazi ukuqhubekela phambili, lapho ungakwazi ukucacisa noma ukwenza icebo, kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi umshado wakho ungabhidlika.
• Ukuzizwa unesizungu nokuphelelwa ithemba - Ayikho into embi njengokuzizwa ongashadile ebuhlotsheni noma umshado ngoba uwedwa naphezu kokuba kulokho okufanele kube ubuhlobo obuseduze kakhulu ekuphileni kwakho. Ukuba nesizungu emshadweni kukwenza uzizwe sengathi wonke amathemba aphelile, okungaba uphawu lomshado wakho usindwa futhi uyabhidlika.

Umshado Wami Uyawa - -13 Amathiphu Ochwepheshe Wokuguqula

Ngakho-ke, uthole ukuthi umshado wakho uyabhidlika noma ungase uhlukane. Mhlawumbe uyacabanga, umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi iphutha lami. Noma ucabanga, 'umshado wami wesibili uyabhidlika futhi sengivele nginesiphetho sami sokuqala.' Mhlawumbe unqume ukulwela umshado wakho kodwa awazi kahle ukuthi kanjani. Siqoqe amathiphu athile ochwepheshe okuthi ungawushintsha kanjani umshado obhidlikayo.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: 7 Amathiphu Ochwepheshe Ukuxazulula Izingxabano Emshadweni

1. Vuma ukuthi umshado wakho usenkingeni

Masibhekane nakho, akekho othanda ukuvuma ukuthi ubuhlobo obuseduze obubaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni kwakho abuphelele, mhlawumbe buhlukana. 'Umshado wami uyabhidlika' kuyinto esengozini ngendlela emangalisayo futhi ethusayo ukuyichaza. Ungase ucabange ngisho nokuthi ngokukuvuma kunokuba ungakunaki, uzodala izinkinga ezazingekho ngaphambili.

Sikuphathele izindaba. Ukwenqaba ukubheka inkinga ebusweni, ukuyixubha ngaphansi kwengubo njll. akusebenzi futhi ngeke kusize. ukubuyiselwa komshado. Zizovele zibole futhi zikhule ngaphansi lapho futhi ekugcineni ziqhume ebusweni bakho. Awuxazululi lutho ngokwenza sengathi umshado wakho ujabule ngokuphelele, cishe wenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu.

"Abantu abaningi bayaphika ukuthi kukhona noma yiluphi uhlobo lwezinkinga emshadweni wabo futhi bazama ukuwubhulashisha ngaphansi kukakhaphethi. Kodwa, ukubhekana nokuvuma iqiniso lokuthi awukho umshado ongenasici, nokuthi umshado wakho othile, empeleni, ungaba nemifantu namaphutha, ungenza izimanga. Ukwamukela izinkinga noma izinkinga kungasindisa imishado eminingi," kusho uShazia.

Bheka umshado wakho ebusweni futhi uvume ukuthi nakuba ungase ube nezimfanelo eziningi ezinhle, kunezinkinga ongeke usakwazi ukuzishaya indiva. Uma usukwenzile ukuthula ngaleli qiniso, ungathatha izinyathelo zangempela, eziqinile ukuze lungisa umshado ophukile.

2. Gxila enkingeni eyodwa ngesikhathi

Kungaba nzima ukuvuma izinkinga emshadweni, ngoba konke oqala ukukubona kuyizinkinga. Uqala kanjani ukubhekana nezinto lapho yonke into ibonakala imapeketwane? Ingabe udaba olulodwa lubaluleke kakhulu kunolunye futhi kufanele uzibeke kanjani kuqala izinto?

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Yakha kabusha Umshado Wakho Ngesikhathi Sekwehlukana Ngalawa Amathiphu angu-13

Ake ucabange unenqwaba yezingubo embhedeni wakho oye wahlehlisa ukuhlanza izinyanga. Yinqwaba ekhula ikhula futhi ekugcineni, ungabe usazi ukuthi uzoqala ngaphi uvele ungayinaki uthembe ukuthi izozihambela yodwa. Kodwa-ke unquma ukuqala kancane - beka izinto ezimbili noma ezintathu ngosuku. Kancane kancane, inqwaba iyancipha futhi umbhede wakho ubukeka uhlanzekile.

Hamba ezindabeni zomshado wakho ngendlela efanayo. Yini ekukhathaza kakhulu? Yini engaphezulu kwenqwaba? Ingabe kungenxa yokuthi wena nomngane wakho womshado anitholi isikhathi ndawonye? Ingabe abenzi mzamo wokwazi umndeni wakho nabangane? Yini enkulu ubuhlobo ifulege elibomvu ukugqolozele ebusweni?

"Zama ukuhlonza zonke izinkinga noma izinkinga ezikukhathazayo bese ubeka phambili futhi uzixazulule ngayinye ngayinye ngokusekelwe ebucayini kunokuba uzame ukuyixazulula ndawonye. Kungcono ngaso sonke isikhathi ukugxila enkingeni eyodwa ngesikhathi," kweluleka uShazia.

3. Thatha isinyathelo sokuqala

Kuyayenga ukuba yikho konke, 'akukho kulokhu okumoshayo iphutha lami pho kungani kufanele ngibe ngowokuqala ukuzama ukukulungisa?' Siyakuthola - kungaba kuhle kakhulu uma abanye abantu beqaphela izinkinga nezinkinga zabo ngokwabo futhi benze isinyathelo sokuqala. Singahlala siphakamise izinyawo zethu futhi sizizwe sicashile futhi siphakeme ngokumangalisayo ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Indaba iwukuthi, kunesikhathi lapho kungase kudingeke ukuthi ubeke umshado wakho phezu kwe-ego yakho. Lapho udinga ukunquma ukuthi i-hisy yakho ilingana kanye nentukuthelo ibaluleke kakhulu kunokusindisa umshado wakho. Futhi-ke mhlawumbe uyacabanga izindlela zokuxolisa ngobuqotho kumuntu omzwise ubuhlungu. Noma okungenani nixoxe ngayo.

Uma ucabanga ukuthi umshado wakho uza kuqala, sekuyisikhathi sokubeka eceleni lowo muntu okhuluphele ngokweqile futhi uthathe isinyathelo sokuqala, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uveza udaba noma uphakamisa isikhathi sokukhuluma. "Akunangozi ukwenza isinyathelo sokuqala. Gcina i-ego noma imiphi imizwa engemihle eceleni bese uzama ukuyixazulula, kuzowufanele umzamo," kugcizelela uShazia.

Qaphela, uma kuhlale kunguwe owenza umnyakazo wokuqala futhi ukwenze ikakhulukazi ngoba umlingani wakho ngeke akwenze, kungase kube yisikhathi sokucabanga ukuthi umshado onjalo ufanele ukulwela kwasekuqaleni. Uma inqubo yakho yokucabanga eyinhloko ithi, 'kuwufanele umshado?' futhi 'umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi umyeni wami akanandaba', zibuze ukuthi nguwe wedwa olwayo la. Kodwa yonke imishado ihlukile, ngakho-ke, wenza wena.

4. Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Kunezinkinga ezithile esingazixazulula thina ebudlelwaneni, kanti ezinye zingasebenzisa indlebe nombono ochwepheshile. “Uma izinto zingahambi kahle, umbhangqwana ungazama ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kumelaphi noma umeluleki - nakanjani kuzokusiza ukuthi unqume futhi uthole ukuthi yini oyifunayo ngempela wena nomshado wakho," kweluleka uShazia.

“Ngangihamba kakhulu ngenxa yomsebenzi ngakho ngangingakwazi ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi emshadweni wami.” Ngangazi ukuthi umyeni wami wayemcasukela futhi wayelokhu ecabanga, ‘umshado wami osuka kude uyabhidlika’ kusho uLeila.” Sazama futhi sazama ukuxoxa ngakho futhi sachitha isikhathi esiningi ndawonye, ​​kodwa kwakunzima. Ekugcineni, wasikisela ukuba sifune ukwelulekwa ngomshado. Ngike ngaba manqikanqika ukuveza izinkinga zethu kumuntu engingamazi, kodwa ngingasho ngiqinisekile ukuthi kusizile kakhulu.”

Ukufinyelela usizo ngokuvamile kungase kuzwakale njengokuvuma ukuthi awukwazi ukusingatha izinkinga zakho. Futhi, sifunda ezindaweni eziningi ukuthi ukuzimela nokuba namandla kusho ukukwazi ukuzixazulula. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, ukucela usizo kuyinto engcono kakhulu ongazenzela yona nomshado wakho. Futhi, i-Bonobology iphaneli yabelaphi abanolwazi kumane ngokuchofoza nje.

5. Yiba nomusa, ngisho nalapho kunzima

Sithanda umusa omkhulu, kodwa futhi siyazi ukuthi kulula kakhulu ukuthi, 'yiba nomusa' sengathi sisohlelweni lwengxoxo eshibhile. Ukusebenzisa umusa ekuphileni kwansuku zonke, ukuba nomusa ikakhulukazi lapho izinto zinzima futhi silimaza futhi sithukuthele kungenye indaba futhi kudinga umsebenzi ongaphezu kwazo zonke izigigaba zebhodi lemiyalezo ekhuthazayo.

“Ngiyamthanda umyeni wami, kodwa kwaba yiminyaka embalwa emshadweni wethu lapho ehluleka khona ukungisiza ngendlela engangiyidinga ngayo.

“Ngakho-ke, ekugcineni, ngamhlalisa phansi ngamtshela ukuthi uyindoda eyisimangaliso, kodwa lowo wami izidingo ezibucayi ezingokomzwelo angikwazanga ukuqhubeka nokuza okwesibili. Bengingavele ngimtshele ukuthi akezi lutho emshadweni kodwa lokho bekungeke kube iqiniso futhi bengingafuni ukumzwisa ubuhlungu,” kusho uShelly.

“Yiba nomusa futhi uhloniphe njalo wena nophathina wakho ngisho nasezikhathini ezinzima njengoba uma isimo sesidlulile, kuzoshiya izibazi ezimbalwa necala elikhubazayo,” kusho uShazia, futhi siyavuma. Umusa ungase ungawulungisi umshado wakho, kodwa ngeke uzisole kamuva, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izinto zihamba kanjani.

6. Ungacabangi ukuthi banecala labo

“Lapho abantu ababili bendawonye, ​​akufanelekile ukubeka icala lonke kunoma yimuphi umuntu oyedwa. Ziphendulele ngemizwa yakho, amazwi nezenzo zakho futhi ungahambi. ukusola ukushintsha,” kuxwayisa uShazia.

Imidlalo yokusola kungenzeka iyinto engasizi kakhulu ongayenza lapho ucabanga, 'umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi angazi ukuthi ngenzeni.' Kungase kubonakale kulinga, yebo, ngoba ubani phakathi kwethu ongakaze acabange ukuthi kungaba lula kangakanani ukukhulula wonke umthwalo komunye umuntu.

Kodwa, njengoba sishilo, ngeke kukusize, noma umshado wakho. Uma inkinga ingukungathembeki, futhi usebenzelana nomlingani okhohlisayo, ungazibeki icala noma ucabange ukuthi kukhona okushodayo kuwe. Kodwa uma usacabanga ukuthi umshado wakho kufanele ugcinwe futhi ungakwazi ukudlula kuwo, kungase kudingeke umbe ujule futhi nixoxe mayelana nendaba.

Ukwamukela umthwalo wemfanelo kuwumgwaqo okabili futhi ungase ukuthole kunzima, ikakhulukazi uma uke washada futhi ngempela ungafuni ukubhekana neqiniso lokuthi umshado wakho wesibili uyabhidlika. Kodwa kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokuguqula a umshado ofayo, ngakho-ke qhubeka futhi unikeze isithombe sakho esihle kakhulu.

7. Gxila ezwini lakho lapho ukhuluma nabo

Siyazi, siyazi. Sikucela ukuthi uhlele izingxoxo zakho zomshado. Singabahleli futhi sibi impela, kodwa silalele. Ingabe ufuna ngempela ukuba yilowo muntu othi, 'umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi ngizokwenza konke engingakwenza ukuze ngibe ngumuntu osheshayo futhi onesihluku ngangokunokwenzeka?' Akungabazeki ukuthi uzwa ubuhlungu futhi mhlawumbe lena yindlela yakho yokubhekana nesimo, kodwa ingabe izowusindisa umshado wakho? Cha, ngeke.

Ungashayela owakwakho ucingo nganoma yini ayenze ngaphandle kokuzenza kubonakale sengathi ungumuntu omubi ngaso sonke isikhathi. Khumbula ukuthi sathini ngokuba nomusa? Lesi ngesinye salezo zivivinyo zomusa. Ungaklolodeli, ungabi namahloni, ungathethisi (kakhulu).

Asisho ukuthi lokhu kuzoba lula. Eqinisweni, ungase udinge ukuklabalasa futhi uphume endleleni ngaphambi kokuba ungene ezwini elingcono lapho ukhuluma nabo. Futhi lokho kulungile. Ngena entukuthelweni yakho, vuselela ubungozi ebudlelwaneni bakho futhi uhole ingxoxo ukusuka lapho. Zikhumbuze ukuthi lona ngumuntu ohloniphekile okungenzeka ukuthi uziphethe kabi noma wakuphoxa. Futhi ukuthi impendulo ethi 'umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi angazi ukuthi ngenzeni' ayikona 'ukuwaculela ngokubhuqa.'

8. Yiba nesineke

Uyazi ukuthi kuthatha iminyaka kanjani ukwakha ubuhlobo, ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi niyathembana futhi ningakha impilo ndawonye? Nokho, kuthatha isikhathi eside nje ukuba umshado ubhidlize futhi uchithe isikhathi eside akhe kabusha ukwethembana futhi unikeze ubudlelwano bakho elinye ithuba.
Yinto okufanele uyenze kancane kancane, ngakho ungacabangi ukuthi izokwenzeka ngobusuku obubodwa.

Ukuthembana okulahlekile, ukulwa njalo, ukulahlekelwa isikhathi esichithwa ndawonye - konke lokhu kunqwabelana ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, okuholela emifantwini emshadweni. Ukudweba phezu kwemifantu kungenye into, ukuzama ukuyilungisa kusuka empandeni kungenye into. Ngakho-ke ungazami ukukusheshisa.

'Ngibona sengathi umshado wami uyabhidlika' ukuzicabangela nawe akukwenzi kube lula. Uzama ukushintsha izinto ebudlelwaneni obuntengantengayo ube uzibuza ukuthi uzothini kubantu, noma ungakhulumi ngakho nokunye. Akukho kulokhu okuzoshesha futhi kube lula, ngakho-ke yiba nesineke nawe futhi yiba nesineke ngobudlelwano bakho.

9. Ungaziphathi kabi ngokweqile

“Lapho kubonakala sengathi umshado wami weminyaka engu-5 usuzophela, engangingakwenza kwakuwukuhlala nje ngicabange, ‘umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi kuyiphutha lami.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Uzithande Kanjani Wena Nomzimba Wakho Kungakhathalekile Umphakathi

Ukuzikhuluma okungekuhle kuza kusihlasela ngezikhathi ezimbi kakhulu. Kubonakala sengathi lapho nje siphansi kakhulu futhi singasebenzisa inkulumo eyi-pep, ingqondo yethu iyasikhaphela futhi ilokhu isitshela ukuthi singabantu ababi ababhidliza imishado yethu. Akukho esikwenzayo okubonakala kulungile futhi sizigxeka ngayo yonke into encane engahambi kahle.

Yiba mnene kuwe. Ngisho noma unomusa kumlingani wakho ngenkathi umbiza, khumbula ukuba muhle nakuwe. Yebo, udinga ukuziphendulela futhi isibopho ebudlelwaneni bakho futhi mhlawumbe kunezinto ongazenza kangcono. Kodwa ukuzishaya njalo kuzokuwisa futhi ngeke kusize ukusindisa umshado wakho.

10. Bonisa ukwazisa

Siyazi ukuthi siqhubekile nokuba nomusa nokubahle nakho konke lokho. Ukubheka okujulile, okuqondile lokho kungukwazisa izinto ngomlingani wakho omthandayo. Lokho akusho ukuthi uyazilulaza izinto ezikuzwisa ubuhlungu noma ezikucasulayo, kodwa lapho uzama ukulungisa umshado, ukwazisa okuncane kuya kude. Phela sonke siyaphatheka kabi uma sikhona ukuzizwa ungaziswanga ebudlelwaneni.

UHarper uthi: “Umkami unezinto eziningi engizithandayo futhi kunesikhathi emshadweni wethu lapho aba izinto eziningi engangingasazithandi.” Kodwa ngangingafuni ukuba ngiphelele, ‘umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi anginandaba’ futhi ngigxile kuphela ezintweni ezingahambanga kahle,” kusho uHarper.

Wena nomngane wakho womshado ningabantu ngokujulile futhi ngenxa yalokho ninamaphutha ajulile. Manje-ke kunezinto ezingaxoleleki nezingaxoxiswana kuyo yonke imishado – ukuhlukunyezwa, ukungathembeki nokunye – kodwa uma kuwumshado ovele waduka ngenxa yokuswela isikhathi nomzamo, mhlawumbe ungagxila kulokho okusekuhle ngowakwakho.

Ingabe bayazicabangela ngempela izidingo zakho lapho bethola igilosa noma lapho ubukele i-TV? Bayazi nje ukuthi yini oyidingayo uma unosuku olubi noma ugula? Ingabe bayaqinisekisa ukuthi uthola ukudla kwasemini okupakishiwe lapho uya emsebenzini? Ingabe bavele bathole eyakho ulimi lothando? Batshele ukuthi benzani kahle, futhi mhlawumbe izinto ezingalungile zizoshabalala.

11. Yenza izinsuku zamasonto onke

Ukuchitha isikhathi esihle ndawonye kubalulekile kunoma yimuphi umshado. Uma umshado webanga elide ubhidlika, ubusuku bezinsuku bubaluleke kakhulu ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi nitholana ngesikhathi esisodwa, hhayi nje ukuxoxa ngezinkinga eninazo, kodwa futhi ukuze nibe nobabili.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Ezi-11 Ezithandekayo Zokuqomisana Nomlingani Wakho: Spice Up Umshado Wakho

Kodwa awudingi umshado ode ukuze uhlukane njengezithandani. Amashejuli amatasa, izingane nokunye konke kwenza uzungu lokusigcina simatasa futhi sikhathele ingxenye enkulu yosuku futhi kungase kube nzima ukwenza isikhathi somunye nomunye, ikakhulukazi uma usuvele ucasukele owakwakho futhi awuzange ube naso isikhathi sokukhuluma ngakho.

Beka kuqala usuku olulodwa ngeviki amahora ambalwa lapho nihlangana khona ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka noma iziphazamiso. Anibambi amakholi noma nigqolozele isikrini noma nigwema omunye nomunye. Uhlala phansi, uhlanganyele ukudla futhi uzikhumbuze ukuthi usengakwazi ukwakha impilo ekufanele ukwabelana ngayo. Lapho umshado noma ubuhlobo buyi-backup kodwa abuyona into ehamba phambili, kunenkinga ngaphambili.

12. Khetha izimpi zakho

Lalela, awunqobi zonke izingxabano futhi akusizi ukuzama futhi noma kunjalo, ingabe uyawufuna umshado lapho yonke into ilwa? Kwesinye isikhathi, uvele uvume ngomusa bese udedela izinto ngoba awuyona inkunzi yomgodi futhi awudingi ukuhlanganisa imihlathi yakho yonke into encane.

“Umyeni wami akazange azipakishe kahle izitsha futhi kwangihlanyisa futhi kwaba umthombo omkhulu wezingxabano phakathi kwethu. imithetho yokulwa enobulungiswa, ikakhulukazi ngesikhathi lapho umshado wethu wawungaqinile kakhulu, futhi kwacishe kwaba isizathu sokuba sihlukane. Futhi-ke, ngabona, ngangingenandaba kangako nezitsha futhi ngangimane nginenkani, ngisho nalapho ingqondo yami eyayithukile ihamba, 'umshado wami uyabhidlika' kusho uJason.

Ukusabela kokuqala kokuthi 'umshado wami ohlala kude uyabhidlika' noma nje 'Ngizwa sengathi umshado wami uyabhidlika' kuwukwesaba. Kanti nokutatazela kuqhamuka nesifiso sokuthi yonke into ixabane ngoba awazi ukuthi uzobhekana kanjani nayo. Ngokujulile, khetha izimpi zakho. Kuyakhathaza ukulwa ngayo yonke into futhi nilwe ngokuphindaphindiwe, futhi akufanelekile ngempela.

13. Khetha uthando

Njengoba inkathi entsha njengoba lokhu kuzwakala, sicabanga ukuthi ilula ngempela. Ukukhetha uthando nakho ukukhetha ukuzithanda, ukunquma ukuthi yini ekujabulisayo futhi ugxile kukho. Uma ucabanga ukuthi 'umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi anginandaba', akufanele uzenze uzinakekele ngoba wonke umuntu ukutshele ukuthi umshado ungunaphakade. Noma mhlawumbe umshado wakho wesibili uyabhidlika futhi ufuna ukuwusindisa hhayi ngenxa yothando, kodwa ngoba ukhathele kakhulu izinto ezingasebenzi.

Sikhulume kabanzi mayelana nokuthi ungawusindisa kanjani umshado obhidlikayo, kodwa qinisekisa ukuthi ukwenza ngezizathu ezifanele. Uma uhlala emshadweni ongajabulisi wezingane ube ucabanga ukuthi, 'umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi umyeni wami akanandaba', awukhethi uthando.

Ngezinye izikhathi, into enothando kakhulu ongayenza ukukwenza suka ebudlelwaneni. Yilwele, yebo. Yenza yonke imizamo ukuyiguqula, ngokuphelele. Kodwa ukukhetha uthando ukukhetha okunempilo, okuthembekile kakhulu bese unamathela kukho. Ukwenza umshado usebenze kunzima. Kwesinye isikhathi, ukwenza uthando lusebenze, kufanele uhlukane nomshado.

'Umshado wami uyabhidlika futhi kuyiphutha lami' umcabango odlayo kithi noma nini lapho kufika izinkinga ezithinta umshado wethu. Nakuba kungesiyo yonke imishado engasindiswa, sithemba ukuthi lokhu kukusiza wenze ukukhetha okuhle futhi kugcine wena nomshado wakho nisebenza noma-ke, kukusize uqhubeke ngamandla nesibindi.

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