Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Ezidabukisayo Umshado Wakho Uphelile

Bathi akufanele ushade nomuntu ongahlala naye kodwa ongeke ukwazi ukuphila ngaphandle kwakhe. Mhlawumbe wake wazizwa ngaleyo ndlela ngomngane wakho womshado. Nokho, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi okuthile kwashintsha. Mhlawumbe uzwe inhlansi ishabalala noma wabona ukuthi anihlanganyeli ngezindinganiso ezifanayo eziyinhloko noma umshado wenu waba yingozi. Noma kunjalo, kungase kube nzima ukuvuma izimpawu zokuthi umshado wakho usuphelile ngisho noma sebekugqolozele ebusweni.

Esinye sezizathu eziyinhloko zalokhu ukuthi siye saqiniswa kakhulu ukukholelwa emcabangweni othi “kuze kube yilapho sekuhlukaniswa ukufa” kangangokuthi ukwamukela iqiniso lokuthi izinkinga zethu zomshado ziyanda ngendlela engalawuleki kungaba nzima kubantu abaningi. Ingasaphathwa eyokuthi kusenenhlamba ehambisana nesehlukaniso futhi umqondo wokwakha kabusha impilo kusukela ekuqaleni ungabonakala unzima kakhulu kunokuqhubeka emshadweni ongajabulisi.

Ngaphandle kwalokho, njengoba yonke imibhangqwana eshadile idlula ezinkingeni zayo eziningi endleleni, kungaba nzima ukuqonda ukuthi usebudlelwaneni obuhle kakhulu obudlula ezinkingeni ezinzima noma emshadweni onezinkinga ongase ungalungiseki. Ngakho-ke, wazi kanjani ukuthi umshado wakho usuphelile? Silapha ukuzokusiza uphume enkingeni yakho ngokubonisana nomeluleki kanye nomqeqeshi wezempilo oqinisekisiwe uDkt. Neelu Khanna , ogxile ekubhekaneni nezinkinga ezihlobene nezidingo zomzwelo kanye nezingxabano zokuziphatha kwabantu, ukungezwani emshadweni, kanye nemindeni engasebenzi kahle.

Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Umshado Wakho Uphelile Futhi Yisikhathi Sokuqhubeka

“Impilo yethu yomshado yaqala njengephupho elihle. Sasithandana kakhulu futhi sasichitha amahora amaningi senza izinhlelo ngempilo yethu ezayo, kodwa ngandlela-thile endleleni, ibanga laqala ukungena. Ukuxazulula ukucindezeleka komsebenzi, imithwalo yemfanelo yasekhaya, kanye nokuba ngumzali kwasiphazamisa futhi sahlukana eminyakeni edlule. Nakuba kungekho zimpawu ezibomvu ezisobala njengobudlova basekhaya, ukukopela , noma izinkinga zokuthembana, akuseyona imishado ejabulisayo manje. Angicabangi ukuthi sihlobene noma njengabantu esibe yibo. Ingabe umshado wami uphelile?” kubuza umfundi waseSandia, eNew Mexico.

Ephendula lo mbuzo, uDkt. Khanna uthi izinkinga ezincane zinamandla okudala ukungezwani phakathi kwabashadile uma bengenzi umzamo oqotho wokusebenzela ezintweni ezincane ngaphambi kokuba zibe ukungezwani okungalungiseki. “Kusukela ekuntulekeni kokukhulumisana kuya ekungabini nesikhathi esikahle ndawonye, ​​ukungezwani okubonakala kuncane kunganqwabelana ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kubangele ukuchitheka komshado,” kuchaza yena.

Nakuba lokhu kuyimbangela yokukhathazeka, akufanele ulahle ithemba kuze kube yilapho ingasekho enye indlela yokuphuma. Ngisho nomshado ophumelelayo uba nezikhathi ezinhle nezingezinhle, izinkinga nezinkinga. Uma nje wena nowakwakho nenza umzamo wokuxazulula lezi zinkinga futhi nithole indlela yokubeka phambili ukuhlangana kwenu ngaphezu kwakho konke okunye, likhona ithemba. Kodwa-ke, uma lezi zimpawu ezingu-12 umshado wakho uyehluleka zisondela kakhulu, kungase kube isikhathi sokubheka ukuthi ikusasa likuphatheleni:

1. Ukuphila njengomuntu ongashadile

Enye yezimpawu zokuthi umshado wakho usuphelile ukuthi wena nowakwakho niphila impilo sengathi anishadile. Lokhu kusho ukuthi anifaki icala komunye nomunye ezinqumweni enizithathayo - noma okungenani oyedwa wenu akakwenzi lokho - okushiya uzizwa sengathi ushadile kodwa awushadile. Lokho kungaba okuhlangenwe nakho okunesizungu kakhulu.

Manje, lokhu akusho ukuthi ngenxa yokuthi nishadile, kumelwe nihlale nihlangene futhi nenze konke ndawonye. Isikhala somuntu siqu ebudlelwaneni asigcini nje ngokuba nempilo kodwa futhi sibalulekile ekuxhumaneni okuhle. Sikunika ithuba lokukhula njengabantu ngabanye futhi sithuthukisa ukuxhumana kwakho emshadweni. Kodwa-ke, kudingeka kube nokulinganisela phakathi kwesikhala somuntu siqu nesabelwana ngaso, imisebenzi yomuntu ngamunye neyokuhlanganyela, kanye nesikhathi sami kanye nokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye.

“Ukungasichithi isikhathi esihle ndawonye kubangela ukuba umbhangqwana uhlukane futhi ujwayele isizungu.” Ngenxa yalokho, baqala ukucasuka nokungajabuli ngokuphila kwabo komshado,” kuchaza uDkt. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukhululeka ngokwengeziwe ngaleli banga futhi lokho kuwuphawu olucacile lokuthi isifiso sokwenza umshado uphumelele seyehlile.

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2. Izinhlelo zakho zekusasa azimfaki owakwakho

Wazi kanjani ukuthi umshado wakho usuphelile? Ukuze uphendule lo mbuzo, udinga ukuzibuza omunye: uyambona oshade naye esikhathini esizayo? Uma ucabanga ngempilo yakho yonke - ukuguga, ukwakha ikhaya lomhlalaphansi, ukubeka umgomo weminyaka emihlanu ezayo yokuphila, noma uhlela nje ukuya eholidini onyakeni olandelayo - ingabe owakwakho uyavela ezinhlelweni zakho njengengxenye ebalulekile yempilo yakho? Noma ingabe awunandaba nokuba khona kwabo noma ukungabi khona kwabo?

Manje, zinike isikhashana ucabange impilo yakho yonke ngaphandle komlingani wakho. Vala amehlo akho bese uwubona ngeso lengqondo: ubuya ekhaya ekupheleni kosuku olude futhi umlingani wakho akasekho ukuzokwamukela. Uvuka ekuseni kanti olunye uhlangothi lombhede lungenalutho. Abakho lapho ukuzoxoxisana nawe. Mhlawumbe, ubavalelisa futhi ungaphinde ubabone? Ingabe lo mbono ukubangela ubuhlungu noma ukugcwalise ngomuzwa wokukhululeka? Uma kuwukuthi lokhu kokugcina, mhlawumbe ubulokhu ucabanga isu lokuphuma ngaso sonke isikhathi. Lesi esinye sezibonakaliso ezicacile zokuthi umshado awukwazi ukusindiswa.

3. Awusenawo umona

Bathi lapho kukhona uthando, umona uyalandela . Ngisho nemibhangqwana ephilile ibhekana nomona futhi ibhekane nawo ebuhlotsheni bayo. Nakuba kungekho ukuphika ukuthi uma ukhula ungalawuleki umona ungaba mubi kakhulu futhi ulimaze isibopho sombhangqwana, ukhona ngezinga elithile ekuxhumaneni okuningi kothando nokusondelana.

Ngakho-ke, uma ukubuka owakwakho ezwana nomuntu okungenzeka akhule amthande akukwenzi ube nomona okungenani, kufanele ucabangele ukuthi kungenzeka yini ukuthi awusathandani naye. Ukungabikho ngokuphelele komhawu kungenye yezimpawu zokuwohloka komshado wakho.

4. Izinqumo ezinkulu zezezimali ngaphandle kwezingxoxo

Uma usushadile, izimpilo zenu ziyahlangana. Zonke izinqumo enizenzayo zithinta umlingani wakho hhayi wena wedwa. Ngakho-ke, kulungile ukuthi bobabili abalingani babonisane ngaphambi kokwenza noma yiziphi izinqumo ezinkulu, ikakhulukazi ezindabeni eziphathelene nokuvikeleka kwezezimali njengokutshala imali enkulu, ukushintsha umsebenzi, ukushintsha izinhlelo zokonga, njalo njalo. Uma noma ubani kini evame ukuthenga izinto ezinkulu zezimali ngaphandle kokubonisana nomunye, kuyisibonakaliso esibomvu okungafanele nisinake. Lokhu kungaba yindlela yokubonisa ukuthi lowo muntu usephumile ebudlelwaneni ngisho noma eqhubeka nokuhlala eshadile.

“Izingqinamba zezimali noma ukungaphumeleli obala ngemali nakho kudala ukungezwani okuningi futhi kuphazamise umshado kabi,” kusho uDkt. Khanna. Oshade naye engaxoxi nawe ngezinqumo ezinkulu zezezimali - noma okuphambene nalokho - kubonisa ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle kubhondi yakho. Okubi nakakhulu, uma izinqumo zabo zezezimali ziqala ukuba nomthelela omubi empilweni yakho, udinga ukucabangela ukuthi kungenzeka yini ukuthi umshado wakho ungasindi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

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5. Imibono ehlukene ngesibopho somshado

Ngisho noma ngabe senishadile isikhathi eside, esinye sezizathu ezenza umshado wenu ube nzima ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho ninemibono ehlukene ngokuthi umshado ofanele ube yini. Kusukela kulokho okushiwo ukushada kuya ezintweni eziza kuqala ebudlelwaneni, ukuqala umndeni, kanye nendlela yokuchitha isikhathi nikhulisa isibopho senu, kungaba nezinkinga eziningi abalingani abangavumelani ngazo.

Kodwa uma nisekhasini elifanayo mayelana nezinto ezibalulekile futhi ningakwazi ukuthola indawo emaphakathi, lo mehluko ungaba nomthelela ebudlelwaneni benu ekugcineni. Uma lo mehluko ukhulisa igebe phakathi kwenu kangangokuthi awusafuni ngisho nokuzama ukuthola isixazululo esisebenzisekayo sokwehlukana kwenu, yilapho-ke niyazi ukuthi umshado wenu usuphelile.

“Imibono ehlukene nokuba semaza amaza ahlukene kungabangela igebe lokukhulumisana.” Ngezinye izikhathi, omunye umlingani angase akhethe ukungazibandakanyi kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lwengxoxo ezindabeni ezinjalo esaba ingxabano. Lokhu kungase kuphumele ekuphathweni buthule okuhlala izinsuku noma amasonto, okumane kuqhubekisele phambili umbhangqwana,” kuxwayisa uDkt. Khanna.

6. Ukuhlukumeza kuyifulegi elibomvu eliqinisekile

Ukuhlukunyezwa kwanoma yiluphi uhlobo kungenye yezimpawu ezinkulu zomshado onezinkinga noma okungenani kufanele kube. Asikho isizathu sokuthi umuntu azwise omunye ubuhlungu nokulimaza, ikakhulukazi lowo othi uyamthanda. Ukuhlukumeza kungabonakala ngezindlela eziningi:

• Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba noma udlame lwasekhaya
• Ukuhlambalaza okuhlanganisa ukubiza amagama, ukuklabalasa nokwesabisa, 
• Ukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo kungasukela ekululazeni ngamabomu noma ekululazeni umlingani kuye ekukhwabaniseni, nasekukhanyeni ngegesi
• Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi okubandakanya ukunganakwa kwemvume noma ukuphoqwa nokuya ocansini ngempoqo
• Ukuhlukumeza ngokwezimali yilapho uzakwethu exhaphaza omunye ngokwezimali 

Zonke lezi yizizathu ezizwakalayo zokuphuma emshadweni. Ubuhlobo obuhlukumezayo bungase bulimaze kakhulu ingqondo yesisulu futhi bungabangela izinkinga eziningi zempilo yengqondo.Futhi ezimweni eziningi, asikho isilinganiso sokwelulekwa komshado noma ukusebenza nomelaphi womndeni ongcono kakhulu ongakuthola kuyasiza ngoba umlingani ohlukumezayo angase amelane noshintsho,” kusho uDkt. Khanna. Uma uyisisulu sokuxhashazwa nganoma iyiphi indlela, ungahlupheki uthule ngethemba lokuthi izinto zizoba ngcono.

Kungenzeka ukuthi ukuhlukumeza kuzokhula ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Beka kuqala inhlalakahle yakho futhi ugxile ekuzivikeleni kunokuba ufune izindlela zokulungisa umshado wakho. Yazi ukuthi lukhona usizo olutholakalayo lokubhekana nezimo ezinjalo. 

7. Usucabange ukukopela

Imibhangqwana esebudlelwaneni obuhle ayikuthandi kakhulu ukucabanga ngokukopela. Yebo, kungase kube nezikhathi lapho umuntu engase azizwe ekhangwa ngomunye umuntu noma angase athande umuntu omusha ngesikhathi esashadile kodwa angagxili kule micabango, ingasaphathwa eyokwenza lokho. Eqinisweni, ebudlelwaneni obuhle, abalingani bangathululelana isifuba lapho kwenzeka okuthile kwalolu hlobo ngenxa yokwethembeka nokungafihli lutho.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lapho umqondo wokuba nomunye umuntu ubonakala uyindlela yokuphunyuka ephelele ekuthubeni komshado wakho, ungaqeda ukubuza, “Ziyini izimpawu zokuthi umshado wami usuphelile?” Umbhalo usodongeni. Ungahlala ushade nowakwakho ngenxa yezimo zakho kodwa inhliziyo yakho ayisekho kukho. Uma umqondo wokukopela ubonakala ukhanga kakhulu kunokuba usabisa, ubonisa ukuntula inhlonipho nothando. Futhi umshado ngeke uhlale ngaphandle kothando lwangempela, inhlonipho, nokutuseka phakathi kwakho nomngane wakho womshado.

8. Ukugwema omunye nomunye

Uma wena nomngane wakho womshado nivame ukuzama ukugwema ukuba segunjini elilodwa isikhathi eside, lokhu kungenye yezimpawu ezibonisa ukuthi umshado ongajabulisi. Mhlawumbe ukungezwani kwenu ebudlelwaneni benu kudale umonakalo omkhulu ekuxhumekeni kwenu kangangokuthi anisakwazi ukuthola indlela yokusebenzelana phakathi kwenu. Yonke ingxoxo iphenduka ingxabano, kube nokuhilizisana nokuklolodelana. Kungakho-ke ukugwemana kubonakala kuwukuphela kwendlela yokugcina ukuthula endlini.

Lokhu kuwukubonakaliswa okucacile kwesimo somshado wakho futhi kungaba ngcono ukuthi ungabe usabheka ngenye indlela. Uma ukuhlalisana sekuwumthwalo onjalo, mhlawumbe kuwumqondo omuhle ukuhlola ukwelapha kwabashadile ukuze uxazulule ukungezwani kwenu. Futhi uma usuvele unikeze ukuthi isibhamu ngisho nokwelapha akusebenzi, kungaba ngcono ukuba wamukele ukuthi umshado wakho usuphelile.

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9. Awumvuleli isifuba umlingani wakho

Umlingani wakho kufanele abe ngumuntu oyedwa okufanele uzizwe uphephile futhi ukhululekile uma usengozini. Ukukwazi ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa kubalulekile ekuphileni impilo enempilo yomshado. Kubonisa izinga lokusondelana ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni. Uma ulwa nokuthola ithuba lokuvulelana isifuba nomlingani wakho futhi wabelane naye ngemicabango yakho ejulile, konke akuhambi kahle emshadweni wakho.

Ukuntuleka kokukhulumisana noma ukuba sengozini ebuhlotsheni kungase kubangelwe ukwesaba ukuqondwa kabi.” Uma umngane womshado ehlala echitha noma echitha imizwelo, ukukhathazeka, nemicabango yomunye umuntu, ekugcineni lowo muntu othandana naye uyobe eseba igobolondo.” Lokho kungenye yezinto zokuqala ezibonisa ukuthi usemshadweni ongaphumeleli,” kusho uDkt.

10. Ukuphupha ngokubalimaza

Kuyavunywa, sonke sike savungama sithi, “Nkulunkulu, ngizokubulala”, ngesinye isikhathi ngoba uzakwethu esho noma enze okuthile ukuze asinyuse odongeni. Nokho, asizimisele ngokulandela. Kuyindlela nje yokukhipha ukukhungatheka, futhi uma leso sikhathi sesidlulile futhi noma yini ebisikhathaza isixazululiwe, asizwa lutho ngaphandle kothando nokutuswa kozakwethu.

Kodwa-ke, uma ubhajwe emshadweni omubi, le micabango emibi ngokulimaza omunye ingaba umthombo wenduduzo. Kuyinto eyodwa ukusho into ebuhlungu uthukuthele, kuyinto ehlukile ukuzithola uphupha njalo ngomlingani wakho elimele. Amaphupho anjalo kufanele abalwe phakathi kwezimpawu zokuthi umshado wakho usuphelile.

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11. Ukuba nemizwa

Uma uzizwa sengathi umlingani wakho akasakutholi noma akasakukhathaleli futhi izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo zingahlangatshezwanga, ungase uqale ukuzizwa ungenalutho ngaphakathi. Esimweni esinjalo, akuyona into engavamile ukufuna olunye uxhumano ngaphandle komshado wakho ukuze ugcwalise leso sikhala. Mhlawumbe umngane, osebenza naye, noma ilangabi elidala likunikeza ukwesekwa phakathi nalesi sikhathi esinzima futhi uzithola uthembele kubo ngaphezu komlingani wakho. Lokho kuyindlela ejwayelekile yokwenza uthando olungokomzwelo.

Lapho noma yimuphi umngane womshado engena ezindabeni ezingokomzwelo futhi eqala ukutshala isikhathi namandla akhe ekukhuliseni lolo xhumano kunokuba alungise ubudlelwano babo obonakele nabashade nabo, kungenye yezimpawu eziyi-12 ukuthi umshado wakho usuphelile. Nakuba kungase kubonakale kungenangozi njengoba ungakohlisi ngokobuchwepheshe, ukuphendukela kumuntu wesithathu ukuze ugcwalise izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo kuyingozi kakhulu kunokungathembeki ngokomzimba. Kuwuphawu lokuthi ukuxhumana phakathi kwakho nowakwakho kuncipha ukubaluleka kwakho.

12. Ukusondelana ngokomzimba akukujabulisi

Isifiso sokusondelana ngokomzimba sibalulekile emshadweni onempilo. Ngenkathi impilo yakho yocansi ngemuva komshado izoba nezinguquko eziningi ezigabeni ezahlukahlukene, ukuntuleka okuphelele kwesifiso kuyifulegi elibomvu. Kwesinye isikhathi, imibhangqwana ingadlula ezigabeni lapho ukucindezeleka kwempilo kwenza izikhathi eziseduze zithathe isihlalo esingemuva. Lokhu kuvamile futhi akulona uphawu lokufadalala komshado.

Kodwa-ke, uma uthola ukuthi wena noma umlingani wakho nine-libido enempilo nokho impilo yakho yocansi ingekho, khona-ke ukubhala kuhle kakhulu odongeni. UDkt. Khanna uchaza ukuthi ukusondelana ngokomzimba okuncishisiwe kungase kubangele ukungezwani noma komunye noma bobabili abalingani bangajabule, bakhungatheke, futhi bafune ukwaneliseka ngaphandle komshado.

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Izimpawu Umshado Wakho Uphelile Imibuzo

Ngisho noma wazi ukuthi umshado wakho usuphelile, uhambo olusuka ekuphikeni kuya ekwamukelweni lungaba lude, olunzima. Uma naphezu kokuhlobene neningi lalezi zimpawu eziyisixwayiso, usabuza, "Ingabe umshado wami uphelile? Alikho ithemba lokusinda?", Mhlawumbe ukuthatha lezi zimpawu ezimfushane umshado wakho uphelile imibuzo kungakusiza ukuthi uthole ukucaca okuthile:

• Ingabe wena nozakwenu nithatha izinyathelo zokuthuthukisa ikhwalithi yokuxhumana kwenu? Yebo Cha
• Ingabe uzizwa ujabule ngethemba lokubona/ukuba nomngane wakho womshado? Yebo Cha
• Ingabe uzizwa ulondekile emshadweni wakho? Yebo Cha
• Uyamethemba umlingani wakho? Yebo Cha
• Ingabe uyawenza umzamo wokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye? Yebo Cha
• Niyakhuluma ngekusasa lenu futhi nenze izinhlelo zempilo yenu ndawonye? Yebo Cha
• Ingabe ukukopela kowakwakho kubonakala kungenakwenzeka kuwe? Yebo Cha
• Uyaneliseka ngokocansi emshadweni wakho? Yebo Cha
• Ingabe umngane wakho womshado ukwenza uzizwe uthandwa futhi ufiswa? Yebo Cha
• Ingabe uzizwa wanelisekile ngokomzwelo emshadweni wakho? Yebo Cha

Uma uphendule iningi lale mibuzo ngalezi zimpawu ukuthi umshado wakho usuphelile ngemibuzo ethi cha, siyadabuka ukusho ukuthi mancane amathemba ngekusasa lakho nomlingani wakho wamanje. Kodwa hey, lokho akuyona into embi ngempela. Kungcono ukuqhela ebudlelwaneni obungasakuletheli injabulo kunokuhlala nihlupheka nithule nixabanise impilo yomunye nomunye. Uma ukubhekana ngqo nalezi zimpawu zomshado ongaphumeleli kukusondeze ekwamukelweni okungenakugwenywa, usendleleni efanele.

Indlela Yokubhekana Nokuphela Komshado Wakho—Amacebiso Ama-5 Asekelwe Ochwepheshe

Ngisho noma ubusemshadweni ophukile , ukuwuqeda bese uqhubeka nokuphila kungaba yinto ephazamisayo ngokomzwelo. Udinga ukubhekana nayo yonke imizwa eyinkimbinkimbi ebangelwa yilesi sipiliyoni, gxila ekufundeni ukuzithanda nokuzinakekela futhi utshale imali ekutholeni kabusha ukuthi ungubani ngaphandle kobudlelwano bakho. Lolu kungaba uhambo olude nolunzima futhi ubuhlungu nokukhathazeka ozizwayo ngokuqinisekile ngeke kuphele ngobusuku obubodwa, kodwa kancane kancane, uzothuthuka. Lawa macebiso amahlanu asekelwa ochwepheshe ekubhekaneni nokuphela komshado wakho angakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nakho:

1. Zivumele ukuba udabuke ngokugcwele

Ukuphela komshado kuwukulahlekelwa okukhulu. Naphezu kwezinkinga zakho zomshado, uyozithola ulilela lokhu kulahlekelwa, futhi ubhekana nemimoya eyisivunguvungu, kusukela ekudabukeni kuya ekukhululekeni, intukuthelo, noma ngisho nomuzwa wecala. Ukuze ukwazi ukuphulukisa futhi uqhubekele phambili, kufanele uzivumele uzizwe noma yimiphi imizwa evelayo futhi idabukise ukuphela komshado wakho. 

Njenganoma yikuphi ukulahlekelwa, ayikho indlela efanele yokukwenza. Futhi ukusebenza ngokudabuka akuyona inqubo eqondile. Konke ongakwenza ukuba nomusa futhi ubekezele. Ukuzinika isikhathi sokucabanga ngemizwa yakho kuzokulethela ukucaca nokuthula. UDkt. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, owasungula izigaba ezinhlanu zosizi , ugcizelela ukuthi “usizi kumele lubonakale.” Ngakho-ke, thembela kubangani bakho, umndeni, noma udokotela wezokwelapha ukuze uthole indawo ephephile yokwabelana ngobuhlungu bakho.

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2. Ncika ohlelweni lwakho lokusekela

Isisindo somshado ophukile singaba nzima kakhulu uma uzithwala wedwa. Kungakho kubalulekile ukuthi ungazihlukanisi ngalesi sikhathi, kodwa kunalokho, uzungeze nabantu abakukhathalela ngempela. “Ungacabanga ngisho nokwakha “ithimba lokusekela” labangane ababili noma abathathu abaseduze noma amalungu omndeni abone izinkinga zakho eduze. Finyelela kubo lapho udinga ukukhuluma noma ukufuna ubungane,” kweluleka uDkt. Khanna.  

3. Gxila ekuzinakekeleni

Enye yezinto ezinzima ngokuphela komshado ukuthi impilo njengoba ubuwazi ayisekho. Izinqubo ezaziyingxenye yempilo yakho yomshado azisekho, futhi lokhu kungakwenza uzizwe ulahliwe futhi ulahlekile. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokulwa nale mizwa ukusungula imikhuba emisha nezinqubo ezikulethela umuzwa wokuzinza ngalesi sikhathi sesiphithiphithi. 

Ukuthuthukisa isimiso esisha sasekuseni noma isiko lakusihlwa elizolisayo kungakwenza uzizwe uzinzile. Ukuzinakekela kubalulekile ekuzondleni ngokomzwelo ngalesi sikhathi, futhi kungafika ngezindlela eziningi, njenge:

• Ukuhamba ngezinyawo
• Ukuzindla
• Ukulala ngokwanele
• Ukuzivocavoca
• I-Journaling
• Ukubeka izinhloso

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4. Zitholele kabusha ubuwena

Ukushada kusho ukwabelana ngempilo yakho eduze kakhulu nomuntu kangangokuthi izingxenye ezithile zobuntu bakho ziyahlangana. Lapho lobo budlelwano buphela, ungase ube nobunzima bokuthola ukuthi ungubani ngaphandle kwawo. Ingabe uyawuthanda ngempela umculo we-jazz noma ingabe wakhula kuwe ngoba umlingani wakho ewuthanda? Ingabe udinga lawo ma-pillow amane engeziwe embhedeni wakho noma ingabe yinto oyijwayele ngoba umlingani wakho ewuthandile? Ingabe uLwesihlanu kufanele lube ubusuku be-pizza nobhiya noma ingabe kuyisiko kusukela ezinsukwini zokuqala zomshado wakho enisanda kuzifaka ngaphakathi?

Ungase uthole ukubeka zonke izici zobuntu bakho ngaphansi kwesibonakhulu. Lokho mhlawumbe kuyadingeka ukuze uphinde uthole ubuwena bakho futhi uphinde uxhumane nomuntu onguye ngaphandle kwalowo budlelwano. Kumelwe uchithe isikhathi ubuyekeza izinto ozithandayo ezindala, uhlola izinto ezintsha ozithandayo, futhi uhlanganyele emisebenzini ezokusiza ukuthi uphinde uthole umuzwa wakho wokuzibona.

5. Kuthathe usuku olulodwa ngesikhathi

Ubhekana kanjani nokuphela komshado wakho ? Kulula. Ungazivumeli ukuthi ukhungathekiswe yimicabango yokuthi impilo yakho izobukeka kanjani manje noma ukuthi uzogcina uwedwa. Kunalokho, gxila ekubhekaneni nosuku ngalunye, ubhekane futhi wamukele izinguquko ezizayo.

"Uma uzizwa ukhungathekile, kungasiza ukubeka imigomo yansuku zonke njengokushayela umngane wakho ucingo, ukupheka ukudla, noma ukuhlanza ingxenye eyodwa yendlu yakho. Kubalulekile futhi ukugubha ukuwina okuncane endleleni, njengoba bekuthatha isinyathelo esiseduze nokubuyisela ukuzimela kwakho. Inqubekelaphambili encane, engaguquki ingaholela ezinguqukweni ezinkulu," kusho uDkt. Khanna.

Imicabango Final

Ukwamukela izimpawu zokuthi umshado wakho usuphelile akulula. Kodwa-ke, ukuthi lokhu kusho ukuthi umshado wakho uzophela ngesehlukaniso noma cha kuncike ebunzimeni bezimpawu. Uma izinkinga zakho zisesezigabeni zokuqala, yenza umzamo, thola usizo nokusekelwa okudingekayo - kungaba ngamalungu omndeni nabangane noma ngendlela yokwelulekwa - futhi unikeze umshado wakho ithuba elihle lokusinda. Kodwa-ke, uma izinkinga zakho sezilokhu zingamahlalakhona futhi ungaboni themba lokuxazululwa kwazo, yazi ukuthi kulungile ukuhamba. Ufanelwe injabulo, futhi uma leyo njabulo ingaphandle komshado wakho, khona-ke makube njalo.

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