11 Ngā Huarahi Tohunga hei Whakatau i te Wehenga Ohorere i roto i te Hononga Moeroa

He tino uaua te whakatau i ngā wehenga. Engari he mamae rawa atu te wehenga ohorere i roto i tētahi hononga roa, ina koa kāore koe i te whakaaro ka haere mai. Ko te whakamutu i tētahi hononga roa me tētahi e arohaina ana e koe tētahi o ngā mea tino uaua ki te mahi, nā te mea kua taunga koe ki te noho tahi me taua tangata, ā, kua whakaaro kē koe ki tētahi heke mai me ia.

E tumanako ana koe ka roa te whanaungatanga engari kāore, ā, he tino mamae rawa atu tēnā. Tērā pea kei te ahua kua hinga tō ao. I tēnei wā, kei te whakaaro pea koe mēnā ka taea te aro atu ki te mamae. Ka taea e koe te whakaora i te ngākau maru i muri i te wehenga o te whanaungatanga mō te wā roa? Ka taea te ora anō? Ko te whakautu he āe, he pono.

Ahakoa te āhua kāore e taea i taua wā, ka taea e koe te aro atu. I kōrero mātou ki tētahi tohunga hinengaro Juhi Pandey (MA Psychology), he tohunga ki te whakaipoipo, ki te tohutohu i mua i te marena, me te wehenga, mō ngā huarahi hei whakaora i muri i te wehenga o te whanaungatanga roa. I whakapuakihia hoki e ia ngā kōrero wehenga o te whanaungatanga roa me ētahi o ngā take tino noa e mutu ai aua herenga, ngā marena rānei.

He aha i wehe ai ngā hoa rangatira mō te wā roa? Ngā Take Matua e 3

Kua rongo te nuinga o tātou i ngā kōrero mō te wehenga o te whanaungatanga roa. Tērā ētahi wā ka wehe ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i muri i te rima tau o te noho tahi. Ka pātai koe he aha te hē i puta i te pararaiha, tika? Āe, he maha ngā take mō te wehenga ohorere o te whanaungatanga roa.

Ko Juhi e whakamārama ana, "I ētahi wā, ka whakapoauau te tangata i te kukume me te aroha, ā, ka nui ake te whakaroa o te whanaungatanga. Waihoki, ko tēnei whakaaro katoa o 'te aroha kotahi noa te wā ka puta, kua tawhito kē. Ki te kitea e tētahi o ngā hoa he hoa e pai ake ai rāua, ka whiriwhiri pea rāua ki te whakamutu i tā rāua whanaungatanga roa, ka neke whakamua i te ao."

E ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai i mua ake nei, he maha ngā take ka pā mai ai te wehenga o tētahi hononga roa. Ngā raruraru whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, te korenga o te whanaungatanga piripono, ngā whāinga mahi, te korenga o te tipu o te hononga, ngā raruraru kāore anō kia whakatauhia, te kore whakapono, te panoni o ngā kaupapa matua – he aha noa iho. Anei ngā take matua e toru mō te wehenga ohorere o tētahi hononga roa:

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1. Ngā kare ā-roto kāore anō kia kōrerotia me ngā take kāore anō kia whakatauhia

Koinei tētahi o ngā tino take mō te wehenga o te whanaungatanga mō te wā roa. E ai ki a Juhi, "Ko ngā raruraru whakawhitiwhiti kōrero nui, ngā pakanga me ngā tautohetohe kāore anō kia whakatauhia i waenganui i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine, ko te tikanga ka puta he wehenga o te whanaungatanga mō te wā roa. Hei tauira, i wehe taku kiritaki i tana hoa mō ngā tau e whitu nā te mea kāore i te tino whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i waenganui i a rāua. Ko te mea ko te i roto te tokorua i tētahi hononga tawhiti kāore hoki i āwhina i tā rātou keehi.”

Ki te kore e kōrerotia, ki te kore rānei e whakatauhia ngā kare ā-roto me ngā raruraru, ka pā kino pea ki te whanaungatanga mō te wā roa, ka whakaiti hoki i te aroha o te tokorua ki a rāua anō. Tērā pea ka rerekē ō kōrua whakaaro, ka rerekē hoki ō kōrua whakaaro, engari ka piki haere ngā tautohetohe, ngā pakanga rānei, ā, ka tīmata te noho tahi me te kore e taea te mau tonu, kātahi ka whiriwhiri pea tētahi, ngā hoa tokorua rānei kia neke atu.

2. Te kore o te ngākau nui me te whanaungatanga piripono

Koinei tētahi o ngā tino take e pā ana ki te wehenga ohorere i roto i tētahi hononga roa. Nā te roa o te noho tahi, ka noho pai ngā hoa ki te aroaro o tētahi ki tētahi. Ka ngāwari te tuku i tēnei whakamarie ki te ngākau māhaki. Ae, kāore e taea e koe te pupuri i te taumata o te ngākau nui me te whanaungatanga piripono i pā ki a koe i te wā o te marena i roto i ngā tau, engari ki te mutu tō whakaipoipo i roto i te hononga, he raruraru kei reira.

He wāhanga nui te taatai ​​i roto i te whanaungatanga, i te marena rānei, engari ehara i te mea ko te whanaungatanga piripono anake te kaupapa. Ko ngā mahi iti pēnei i te pupuri ringa, te kihi tetahi ki tetahi, te tirotiro tetahi ki tetahi, te awhi, me te kihi paku i tetahi rā pukumahi, ka whakaatu i te aroha me te manaaki tetahi ki tetahi.

Heoi anō, i ētahi wā, kāore e taea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te pupuri i taua hihiri me te aukume, ā, ka puta he ahua hoha, ka wehe kē ngā hoa tokorua. Koinei te wā, hei utu mō te kimi ngā huarahi hei whakaoho anō i te aroha i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka whakarērea e rātou tā rātou piripono, ka wehe i te ara.

3. Te korenga o te tipu o te whanaungatanga

E kī ana a Juhi, "Ko tētahi o ngā take e whakamutua ai tētahi hononga roa ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, ko te wā e mōhio ana koe kāore he tipu o te hononga. Ka pāngia te hononga roa e ngā panonitanga o ngā kaupapa matua, ngā whai wāhitanga mahi rānei i tēnei ao tere. Ki te kitea e ngā hoa ngā whai wāhitanga pai ake me te tipu whaiaro i tua atu i a rātou anō, ka whiriwhiri pea rātou ki te neke atu i te hononga mō te pai ake."

A hononga hauora Me tuku i ngā hoa tokorua kia tipu takitahi, kia tipu tahi hoki hei tokorua. Kāore e ranea te noho tahi. He mea nui te noho tahi me tō hoa i roto i ngā huarahi whai hua, whai tikanga hoki. Me whai wāhi hei tipu. Ki te kore taua wāhi, ka puta he raruraru i waenga i ngā tokorua i roto i ngā whanaungatanga roa. Ki te whakaaro tētahi o ngā hoa he pai ake rāua ki te kore tetahi, he pai ake te mutu.

He maha ngā take mō te wehenga o te hoa. Ko te kore whakawhirinaki me te whakaute, te kore taurite o te moepuku, te whanonga kino, te nui rawa o te hae, te nui rawa o te pupuri i te mana o te tangata, ngā raruraru pūtea, te tawhiti tawhiti, te kore rānei o te whanaungatanga piripono, ētahi o ēnei. Ā, kua rongo katoa tātou i ngā kōrero mō te wehenga o te whanaungatanga roa mō te kore whakapono, e arahi ana ki te wehenga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i muri i te 5 tau o te noho tahi, neke atu rānei. He uaua ki te whakaae ki tēnei, engari kia mōhio koe ka taea te ora anō i muri i te wehenga o te whanaungatanga roa.

11 Ngā Huarahi Tohunga hei Whakatau i te Wehenga Ohorere i roto i te Hononga Moeroa

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakatau i te wehenga ohorere i roto i tētahi hononga roa, engari ehara i te mea kāore e taea. He maha ngā kare ā-roto e pā ana ki te tangata, ā, he uaua ki te whakahaere. Tērā pea ka rite koe ki te ao e pakaru ana. Engari he huarahi hei whakaora i muri i te wehenga roa o tētahi hononga. Ka taea e koe te neke whakamua ki ngā mea pai ake o te ao, te hanga hononga hauora rānei ki ētahi atu me koe anō a muri ake nei.

Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe he uaua ki te whakaaro anō i tētahi oranga ko koe anake, ki te tīmata anō rānei i te ao hou, engari kaua e tino whakapataritari i a koe anō. Kia mōhio koe ka taea e koe te aro atu ki te wehengaHe mea noa te pōhēhē, te kore āwhina, te pouri, te ngaro, me te kore kare ā-roto. Tukua koe kia pāngia e aua kare ā-roto. Tangi kia rite ki tāu e hiahia ana. Whakapaua te wā e hiahiatia ana hei whakaora. Tērā pea ka āwhina ēnei tohutohu tekau mā tahi i a koe i roto i te tukanga:

1. Kia mārama, kia whakaae hoki ki ō kare ā-roto

Koinei te taahiraa tuatahi o te tukanga whakaora. Hei whakaora i muri i te wehenga o te whanaungatanga roa, me tuku koe i a koe anō kia rongo i ngā kare ā-roto e pā ana ki a koe. Ngāna ki te mārama, ki te tātari me te mahi i roto i ō kare ā-roto. Tangi, hamama, whakaatu i te riri - whakapuaki i a koe i te huarahi e pai ana ki a koe i taua wā. Tukua katoatia.

Whakaaetia ō kare ā-roto, ā, kimihia mārire ngā huarahi hauora hei whakapuaki i a koe anō. Whakaarohia, whakakorikori tinana i ia wā, tuhia ō kare ā-roto ki roto i tētahi puka tuhi, kōrero ki tētahi hoa, ki tētahi mema rānei o te whānau, whakarongo ki te puoro, mātakitaki kiriata, kai rānei i tāu kai tino pai. Kaua e whakapae i a koe anō mō ​​te āhua o ō kare ā-roto. He tika ō kare ā-roto, ā, me tukatuka e koe aua kare ā-roto, kaua e tukua kia pirau i roto i a koe.

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2. Whakawhirinaki ki ō hoa me tō whānau mō te tautoko

Tērā pea he uaua ki te whakaaro tika, ki te whakapuaki rānei i a koe anō i muri i te whakamutu i tētahi hononga roa ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe. "I tēnei wā, he manaakitanga te noho mai o te whānau, o ngā hoa me ngā hunga e arohaina ana e koe. Ko rātou te pūnaha tautoko kaha rawa atu ka taea e koe te tono. Whakapaua he wā ki a rātou. Kōrero ki a rātou mō ō kare ā-roto," te kī a Juhi.

Ka taea e rātou te whakarongo ki a koe, te mahi hei whakararuraru i a koe, me te tuku tohutohu. Ko te haere tahi me ngā hoa, te noho tahi rānei i tētahi huihuinga whānau, he mea pai hei whakaara ake i te wairua, hei tuku hoki i te hihi o te pai i muri i te wehenga ohorere i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga roa. He mea nui te mahi a ō tātou porowhita hoa me ngā whanaungatanga pāpori ki tō tātou oranga hinengaro, kare ā-roto, me te tinana.

3. Whakamaahia te tiaki whaiaro

He maha ngā wā ka tukuna e te tangata a rātou anō i muri i te wehenga ohorere i roto i tētahi hononga roa. Ngāna kia kaua e mahi i tēnā. Whakamātauria te tiaki i a koe anō. Whakanuia tō wā whakangahau tino pai. Mahia tētahi mea e pai ana ki a koe, ahakoa he mātakitaki kiriata, he kai i tāu kai tino pai, he manaaki i a koe i tētahi wā mirimiri, he pānui pukapuka, he whakarongo waiata rānei. Tiakina tō tinana me tō tinana. Hauora hinengaroMā te torutoru meneti o te whakakorikori tinana, te yoga, te whakaaroaro, te hikoi rānei i waenganui i te taiao ka tino whakapiki ake i tō wairua me tō wairua.

Mā te tiaki i a koe anō ka whakanui ake i tō whakapono ki a koe anō, koinei pea te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe i tēnei wā. Kaua e whai i ngā mea i pai ki tō hoa, i pai rānei ki a kōrua te mahi tahi.

4. Whakamātauria tētahi mahi whakangahau hou

E ai ki a Juhi, "He huarahi whai hua te hoki ki ō mahi whakangahau tino pai, te tīmata rānei i tētahi mahi hou hei whakaora i a koe anō i muri i te wehenga o tētahi hononga roa, nā te mea he mea hei whakararuraru i a koe i ngā āhuatanga kino katoa i roto i a koe, i tō taha hoki." He aha ō mahi whakangahau tino pai? He aha te mea kotahi i hiahia tonu koe ki te ako? He wā pai tēnei hei tīmata. He huarahi pai tēnei hei karo i ngā kare ā-roto kino, hei arotahi ki te taha pai ake.

Ahakoa he hākinakina hou, he toi, he eke pahikara, he pānui pukapuka, he tākaro taonga puoro, he ako ruku wai rānei – mā te tīmata i tētahi mahi whakangahau hou ka tino whai hua. wareware atu i te wehengaWhakamātauria he tae makawe hou mēnā e hiahia ana koe. Haereerea te ao. Whakamātauria ētahi hākinakina mōrearea. Whakauru atu ki tētahi akomanga ipurangi. Akohia tētahi pūkenga. He wā wātea kei a koe, ā, he nui ngā wāhi kore mahi i roto i tō hinengaro. Whakamahia pai.

5. Whakamutua ngā whakapā katoa ki tō hoa o mua

E taunaki ana a Juhi kia mutu katoa te whakapā atu ki tō hoa o mua. E mea ana ia, "He uaua te whakamutu i tētahi hononga roa ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe. Kaua e whakararuraru mā te pupuri tonu i te whakapā atu ki tō hoa o mua, mō tētahi wā poto pea." Kāore mātou e kī ana kāore e taea te noho tonu hoa ki tō hoa o mua i muri i te wehenga engari kāore he aha mena kāore e taea e koe te mahi tonu. He mea pai kia rongoatia te ngākau maru i te tuatahi.

Āraia tā rātou nama waea, me noho tawhiti atu i ā rātou pāpāho pāpori, kaua hoki e whakautu karere, kaua hoki e whakautu i ā rātou waea. Tērā pea ka puta he tohu rerekē, ā, ka uaua ki a koe te neke atu, nā te mea, i tētahi ara, kei te noho tonu rātou hei wāhanga nui o tō kōrua oranga. Mena he wehenga i muri i te 5 tau o te noho tahi, he momo āhuatanga rānei, tera pea he pire me ētahi atu whakaritenga hei matapaki mā kōrua. Tērā pea kei te mahi tahi kōrua ki te whakatipu tamariki mena kei roto ngā tamariki. I roto i tēnei āhuatanga, ka tūtohu mātou kia piri noa koe ki ngā kōrero e tika ana, kia poto noa iho.

6. Whakaarohia tāu e hiahia ana ki te haere whakamua

E whakamārama ana a Juhi, "Mā te wehenga ohorere i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga roa ka whai wāhi koe ki te whakahou i a koe anō i te taha tinana, i te taha hinengaro me te taha wairua. Pātai atu ki a koe anō he aha tāu e hiahia ana i te ao, i tēnei wā tonu rānei. Kei te hiahia koe ki tētahi huringa taiao? He ara anō kei te hiahia tonu koe ki te whai engari kāore i whai wāhi? Whaia te mea e hiahiatia ana e tō ngākau."

Ka puta mai i te wehenga o tētahi hononga roa tētahi whakararuraru katoa i te āhua o tō oranga kua taunga kē koe. Me ako koe ki te whakatere i te ao me te kore he hoa. Me mōhio koe ko wai koe, me te aha hoki e hiahiatia ana e koe māu ake, me te kore e titiro atu mā te tirohanga a tō hoa. Nā te mea, ko koe te hoa rangatira e whai wāhi nui ana ki te whanaungatanga.

I roto i te whanaungatanga, ko ngā hoa rangatira te nuinga o te wā ka whakatau i ngā mea e pai ana mō rātou hei tokorua. Ehara i te mea ehara i te mea pai, engari nā te mea kua takakau koe, ka taea e koe te whakatau i ō ake whiringa e pai ana ki a koe. Ki te kore koe e mārama ana, tatari mō tētahi wā.

Hoatu he wā ki a koe anō mō ​​ētahi wiki, mō ētahi marama rānei i mua i te whakatau i tētahi whakatau nui mō tōu ao. Kei te hiahia koe ki te arotahi ki tō mahi, ki te okioki rānei i te mahi, me te whai wāhi atu ki ngā mahi, ki ngā whakangahau rānei i hiahia tonu koe ki te mahi? Tērā pea ka mataku koe, tera pea ka pōuri te āhua o te heke mai, engari ngana ki te arotahi ki te taahiraa e whai ake nei.

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7. Whakamātauria te rongoā

E ai ki a Juhi, ko te whakaora hinengaro tētahi o ngā huarahi tino whai hua hei whakaora i te wehenga ohorere i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga roa. E mea ana ia, "He maha ngā huarahi ngā painga o te tohutohu"Ka taea e ia te āwhina i a koe ki te mārama me te whakahaere i ō kare ā-roto. Ka whakamahia e ngā kaiwhakaora hinengaro ngā tikanga rerekē pērā i te CBT, REBT me te STAR therapy, i runga i te āhua hinengaro o te tangata. Ka āwhina ēnei tikanga ki te whakamārama i ngā whakaaro o te tangata, me te whakamōhio i a rātou ahakoa he aha tā rātou e pā ana, he mea utu nui. He mea utu nui tō rātou ora."

He mea nui te tiaki i tō hauora hinengaro i tēnei wā. He tino āwhina te rapu rongoā hinengaro, te whakauru atu rānei ki tētahi rōpū tautoko mō tō oranga hinengaro me tō oranga kare ā-roto. Mēnā kei roto koe i tētahi āhuatanga ōrite, ā, e rapu āwhina ana koe, ko te rōpū kaiwhakaora hinengaro mātau me te raihana o Bonobology he tauira noa iho. pāwhiri atu.

8. Whakauruhia he mahinga o ia rā

Ahakoa te āhua uaua o te whai i tētahi mahi o ia rā i muri i te wehenga ohorere o tētahi hononga roa, ka āwhina i a koe kia pai ake te hinengaro. Ka whakarato i te marino, te noho noa, me te pumau i waenganui i ngā raruraru katoa e pā ana ki tō ao. Ka āwhina i a koe kia whakahaere i tō āhuatanga me tō oranga.

Waihangahia he kaupapa hei āwhina i a koe ki te ara ake i te moenga i ia rā. Kia tino kai koe i ō kai katoa, kia whakakorikori tinana i ia wā, kia inu wai nui, kia tutuki ō mahi, kia noho tahi me ō hoa me tō whānau, ā, kia mahi noa i ngā mea katoa e mahia ana e koe i ia rā. Tērā pea he uaua i te tīmatanga engari ka pai ake tō āhua tinana me tō hinengaro.

9. Āta karohia ngā tikanga ārai hauora kore

He tohutohu tino nui tēnei hei maumahara māu i a koe e ora ana i muri i te wehenga o tētahi hononga roa. I tēnei wā, ka ngaro te mana whakahaere o te tangata i ō rātou kare ā-roto me te mōhio ki a rātou anō, ā, ka mutu, ka noho rātou ki ngā tikanga ārai kino pērā i te whakamahi kino i ngā matū, te whara i a rātou anō, te kai nui, te momi hikareti, te inu waipiro, te mahi nui, me ētahi atu.

Mā te whakamahi i ēnei momo tikanga kino ka nui ake te kino. Tērā pea he huarahi pai hei whakatau i te mamae o te wehenga, engari i te wā roa, ka pāngia pea koe e ngā raruraru waranga, ka nui ake te uaua o tō āhuatanga. Hei tāpiri, e kore e āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i ō kare ā-roto. Ka whakaroa noa i te tukanga whakaora, koia te take he pai ake te kimi huarahi hauora hei whakatau i te raruraru.

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10. Kaua e wehi ki te whakaipoipo anō

Tērā pea ka meinga koe e te wehenga o tētahi hononga roa kia whakaaro kāore e taea e koe te aroha anō. Tērā pea ka mataku koe ki te whakaipoipo anō engari kaua e tukua kia pāngia koe e tēnā. Whakaaturia koe ina whakaaro koe kua rite koe. He uaua te whakamutu i tētahi hononga roa ki tētahi e arohaina ana e koe, engari kaua e tukua kia aukati i a koe kei aroha anō.

Kaua e hoki tonu ki roto. Whakapaua te wā ki te pouri mō te whanaungatanga i ngaro i a koe, engari kia mōhio koe me neke whakamua anō hoki koe i roto i te ao. He hononga ā-iwi, he hononga ā-iwi rānei whanaungatanga noa i te tīmatanga, he kōwhiringa whakaaro nui ake pea tēnei i te whakauru atu ki tētahi whanaungatanga pono, pumau. Engari kia tino whakatuwhera koe i a koe ki taua āheinga. He rerekē te mea mēnā kei te pai koe ki te kore he hoa, engari ki te kore, tukua koe kia tūtaki ki ngā tāngata hou me te whiwhi wheako hou.

11. Akohia mai i te wehenga

He mea nui te ako mai i ia wheako o te ao. Ahakoa he mea uaua, ngana ki te titiro whakamuri ki tō whanaungatanga, kia kite ai mēnā i ako mai i tētahi mea ki a koe. Tērā pea ka kite koe i ngā hapa i mahia e koe, i te kino rānei o tō whanaungatanga. Tērā pea ka āwhina i a koe ki te mārama ki te momo hoa e hiahia ana koe ki te haere ake nei, ki ō whāinga rānei i te ao. Tērā pea ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i te huarahi tika. te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.

Ngāna kia titiro ki te āhuatanga katoa i roto i te tirohanga pai. Ko te ako mai i ngā wheako o mua he wāhanga o te tukanga whakaora. Whakaarohia ngā wāhanga pai me ngā wāhanga kino o te whanaungatanga. He aha te momo whanonga e hiahia ana koe ki te whakarerekē? He aha tetahi mea i mahia e koe kāore koe e whakahīhī? He aha te take o te wehenga? Pātai atu ki a koe anō ēnei pātai engari kaua e whakapae i a koe anō i roto i te tukanga. Kia mahara, ko te whakaaro kia ora me te tipu, kaua e whakanui ake i tō mamae.

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Ehara i te mea ngāwari te whakakore i te wehenga ohorere i roto i tētahi hononga roa. E ai ki a Juhi, "He tino mamae te wehenga nā te mea kua taunga rawa ngā hoa ki a rātou anō, ā, ka uaua ki a rātou te whakaaro i tētahi oranga kāore tetahi i tetahi. He uaua te tīmata hou nā te mea kāore ngā maharatanga o te hononga me ō whakaaro i tēnei wā e āhei ai koe ki te whakaaro tika."

Heoi anō, ehara i te mea kāore e taea te neke whakamua me te tīmata anō i ngā mea. Ia tangata, ia tangata e pā ana ki te ngākau pouri he rerekē, ā, ka whiriwhiri ki te whakaora i tā rātou ake ara. Kimihia te mea e pai ana mōu, ā, me mahi i te mea e pai ana ki a koe. Kia mōhio, kia whakapono hoki ka taea e koe te wikitoria i tēnei, ā, ka puta mai koe hei putanga pai ake o koe.

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